Nasuverse Psyren + FSN Crossover

Leidolf

Well-Known Member
#51
A couple of other changes I've been pondering on and want a second opinion:

1.) I'm thinking of moving Teleportation Marker onto Issei's brother because I may have stacked Issei with too many OP powers and it would allow them to interact more.

2.) Neko's Burst ability will be something akin to the Chakrams, namely by compressing her burst energy it gets to the point that it can cut through anything.

3.) After going through a good portion of F/HA, I still want to kill off Makidera of the Track Girls, but I'm thinking of sparing the mousy one so that I can have five members to round out the group and have a mass telekinesis user or Meance or something akin to that. Or maybe switch that with Kane's role as the Healer.
 

Leidolf

Well-Known Member
#52
Quick question, mild spoilers for Chapter 6: I'm trying to work on the Nasuverse mechanics where someone with an Extra Channel (Esp/Psychic Power) has a stronger effect on someone who didn't have one before for my fic. Here's Shinji's perspective of the change he feels post-nosebleed.

I go to the bathroom and take a shower, letting the hot water wash away the crusted sweat and rehydrate my skin. Inside of the cascading water, I take a few minutes to center myself. That’s when I notice that something is different about me.

It’s hard to explain in proper words. It’s like a part of me feels normal and ordinary, like anyone else who walks the city. I am human, a social creature that dwells in a civilization of many. I can tell that much.

But there’s a small part of me that says otherwise. Like a whisper in the back of my head telling me that I am not the same as everyone else. I don’t belong here.

…The thought makes my brain trembles. A sickening feeling bubbles in my stomach at the nagging sensation. It feels wrong.

So I push it away with the same vigor that I do the nightmares and painful memories when they surface. I crush it down. Wall it off. Forget it….

Forget it.

…I finish cleaning myself up and dress in my casual clothes since the autumn morning air is cold. The walk to the entrance of the mountain is boring for the most part. It feels like I’m alone in a world of my own, to the point that the solace is hauntingly similar to the feeling in the back of my head.

Forget it.

Relief only came when I neared the base of the mountain and found Ayako sitting on the bottom stairs. She’s wearing a pink windbreaker over and a pair of jeans with zippers around the knees for pockets. Her eyes look distant as she brings what looks to be a snack-bar of some kind to her mouth with one hand, while holding a canned drink in her other hand.

They only come back to the present when she notices me and swallows. “Morning, Matou-kun. Did you sleep well?”

“I wouldn’t know. A few hours after we got back to the present that fever and nosebleed hit me. The next thing I knew I was waking up in my bed an hour ago. Sakura apparently had to drag me to my room and spend the entire night watching over me.”

Her brows furrowed and her lips formed into a pout. “That’s a pretty bad reaction. The only one of us I can think of that had it that bad was Issei. I suppose I’ll owe your sister an apology for adding to her troubles, and you over what happened that day. Minori told me about how he acted in the club.”

An apology won’t save him from what I do to get revenge. I might have to be careful now that I know that Ayako is capable of exploding things, but I need the catharsis. I take a seat on the stairs opposite of hers and we wait in silence for Gatou to arrive.

…Minutes pass. The silence permeating the mountain becomes unbearable as time ticks slowly. I fish around my thoughts for something to break it. “Does it get worse?”

Ayako looks up from her now-empty can that the prompt. “Hm?”

“The feeling that you don’t belong here. The constantly whispering voice in the back of your head?”

Her expression sours. “Not really. I think it’s because we have to live with the knowledge that we are different. That we’ve learned things that no one else knows. That we know that eventually that future of cold and sand is what we have to look forward to.”

For a moment her expression darkens further. Then she looks up with resolve. “But I also think that it gives us the power and foreknowledge to try and change it. We’re the only ones who can do something about it.”

“So basically we’re the one-eyed people in the country of the blind?”

A look of confusion crosses her face, signaling I need to clarify for her.

“It’s a passage in English that I read once. It’s a saying on how even someone with limited knowledge and abilities are more advantaged over people who don’t. If the world is truly going to be like that in the future and we gained the power to do something and knowledge of it, then we’re the ones that hold the advantage.”

“That sounds like something someone privileged would say.”

Ignoring the irony of Ayako saying that someone born into a family of magi, I make a note that there’s a darker interpretation to it that most people who read that passage don’t consider. But it’s something that a magus would.

‘In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. But that means he is the only one who knows just how ugly and meaningless the country is and his kingship is meaningless. Thus he lives in search of a way to ascend outside the borders of the world and become God instead.’

I may not be a magus, but I know more of the moonlit world than Ayako. I know the things that go bump in the night. I know the things that others who consider themselves kings (magi) do to their countrymen (humans), and have done them myself because of that mindset.

And, having seen horrors of mankind that she can’t even fathom because of those actions, I feel like the one-eyed king compared to even her—my kingship brings me no pleasure, power, or privilege.

I merely overlook a world overrun by a sea of cursed mud, chained at the foot of the overseer’s throne.

Blissfully ignorant of that, Ayako speaks. “Anyway, to make that feeling go away I do things I did before I got involved in all of this. Like visiting the game center in the Verde, attending the Archery Club, things like that.”

I'm trying to see if it sounds like the change sounds proper or believable due to Shinji now having a change of mindset coming from now having access to PSI. In Nasuverse, psychics typically have something off that separates them from normal people due to having access to that power. Like how Shiki has a firmer respect of life because he sees death, or how that pre-cog in KnK was searching for a future he couldn't predict until Shiki slashes it and rids him of the ability, or how halfbloods pull away from society because of their powers or the complications involved in them.
 

Azure

Well-Known Member
#53
Leidolf said:
A couple of other changes I've been pondering on and want a second opinion:

1.) I'm thinking of moving Teleportation Marker onto Issei's brother because I may have stacked Issei with too many OP powers and it would allow them to interact more.
Him having a ton of cool powers is fine if you remember that due to him having cleared his card he no longer can do much to help Shinji and Co. You kinda expect someone who cleared Psyren to be a badass, so having him be OP is kinda fine (in a total support way).

Leidolf said:
2.) Neko's Burst ability will be something akin to the Chakrams, namely by compressing her burst energy it gets to the point that it can cut through anything.
That kinda works, specially since you can go the route that she taught Ayako how to make her burst arrows by using a similar method.

Leidolf said:
3.) After going through a good portion of F/HA, I still want to kill off Makidera of the Track Girls, but I'm thinking of sparing the mousy one so that I can have five members to round out the group and have a mass telekinesis user or Meance or something akin to that. Or maybe switch that with Kane's role as the Healer.
Wasn't Kane getting the Persona-like figure that would help her heal? If you want to add a TK user, maybe give it a gimmick to make it stand out, like say she visualizes her powers as hands that she uses to move stuff at distance?

About the Shinji stuff, it reads fine, it feels like having awakening his powers and going to the future is causing the world to reject Shinji because he shouldn't belong there. The lines at the end give me the idea that this is probably leading to Shinji developing his version of Nightmare Jack to give people's nightmare, which is a cool way to foreshadow the ability.
 

daniel_gudman

KING (In Land of Blind)
Staff member
#54
I kinda got the vibe that his sense of alienation was mostly from Angra Mainu; in fact, isn't he more likely to assume that Trauma is the cause of any bad feelings he has?

If you want to go towards the Psychics Leave Muggle Society thing, then do it by contrast with Shinji, like how Ayako has to put explicit effort into still just being a Normal Girl.
 

Leidolf

Well-Known Member
#55
On Issei:
I know, but I basically gave him the power to sense powers as Auras, balance in Rise, Trance, and Burst, and Cure. And remember, he actually starts popping up in the future once Rosetta Stone gets built up. If I give him Teleportation Marker, then I've got to balance it out Reikan somehow, maybe giving him Shinra Banshou (or the Buddhist equivalent)? If Issei is the one who has it, I can have his power to nullify an opponent's PSI by matching it.

On Neko:
Yeah, she has an ability like Chakrams, but it works like Rud Hahn's Feline Claws from Veritas (she is called Neko. It's only fitting.)

On Kane:
I was originally going for Kane, but that was before I had gotten a good feel for her character through F/HA. She's a lot more refined and straight-forward than I gave her credit for, while Yukika is basically a cute puppy. Plus, having the mousy one snaps means I can parallel her with Sacchan. There's something... beautiful about the thought of that.

Instead, I was going to have Kane gain TK and Trance on top of Retro-cognition and have her act as the second brains/voice of reason of the group for when Shinji starts slowly going insane and since she's less likely to sacrifice people. Of course, I'm not adverse to her gaining Usui's Anti-Psi wave powers as well.

On Shinji Personality:
I am going to take it a bit slower with Shinji though, leave it vague since I've got a few arcs to flesh it out and foreshadow how his perception has changed. An idea I had was instead of him simply having nightmares, he's actually gained an Extra Channel to being able to perceive what he defines as evil from being the Holy Grail and made to watch for so long and right now his normal society channel is repressing it. When they go to Psyren, the atmosphere gives them a channel to a common perspective of the terminal and their baseline PSI, but Issei and Shinji having a pre-existing channel got it bundled with that and thus strengthens them. (Issei could vaguely intuit someone's Aura like Rin or Ilya before and in the future its basically turned into him being able to identify someone's power and alignment on the scale).

This way their trips to the future strengthens the channel and they begin to be able to influence the world around them on a greater scale in the past. Like for right now, Shinji might intuit someone's desire to inflict evil (i.e he can tell on intuition when someone wants to murder him or inflict bodily harm), but after a few more trips the channel opens wider/get stronger and he begins to perceive them via color like Kiri Nanaya's Pure Eyes could or a miasma. At it's height, he basically understands all the evil's someone does, what they fear, etc.

Of course, the stronger the channel, the more it pushes out the channel he has for normal society, with Rin (this is later in the fic) telling him that either he'd become so use to it that he'd be numb to acts of evils, or he'd go mad, thus forcing him to decide whether or not to have Shirou stall it by stopping him from going to Psyren any further (Rule Breaker the contract) since that's strengthening the channel. It puts him in a position where he can choose whether or not helping the others in the future is worth the risk to his own life/sanity, giving him agency rather than him being forced to constantly go along with it.

NOTE: I'm not married to any of these ideas, and if I can't work out the logic for the Channels, I'll just keep it vague enough to leave it up to the reader's perspective.
 

Leidolf

Well-Known Member
#56
Hup, more brainstorming ideas:

One later plot point I came up with after watching all of Hollow Ataxaria and another playthrough of Tales of Vesperia is that Kane, after the death of Makidera and the Shinji's seeming indifference begins to look into him through her retrocognition. She discovers that Shinji was responsible for the school incident and with the stuff with Sakura and decides to kill him, justifying it as him being punished. So when they get a mission into the tower and the others have cleared it, she uses her telekinesis to send a weapon through his body. Shinji asks what the hell and she explains its for everything he's done before shoving him off and then uses Anti-PSI to stop him from sending out any messages and watches as he falls. Shinji passes out mid-fall and wonders if he had it coming, while Ayako sees him through a hole as he falls to his death and catches him. Nemesis Q brings them back to the past and Issei heals him while Ayako asks what happened and Kane lies.

When Shinji, after going through a perspective on his life, wakes up he sees her standing over him and asks if she's going to try and kill him again. She says he deserves it, and Shinji laughs at her, saying that he didn't think she had it in him to be as bad as him. He then states that he's already been judged by the three people who matter (Shirou, Sakura, and Ayako) to him and that killing him served no point since his death now wouldn't do any good. He's already being punished and by trying to kill him she would have hampered their efforts to save the future, and points out she's smart enough to realize this, so it was done purely because she couldn't get past her rage at dragging Makidera into the future and decided to take it out on the nearest target.

Afterwards, he says he won't tell the others because he's feeling like being the bigger person and will enjoy watching her stew over her guilt for it.
 

daniel_gudman

KING (In Land of Blind)
Staff member
#57
I feel like between

1) The time that Gil shoved Ilya's heart into him and he turned into thousands of pounds of heaving evil flesh because Grail-kun

2) Bloodfort Andromeda + Rider getting ganked

3) Just anything about the Matou Basement

I feel like between those, rather than Kane deciding to punish him, that's where he gets called out for being "in" on the Masquerade instead.
 

trevelyan1983

Well-Known Member
#58
I don't have anything to add in terms of the story or future plot points and what they should be - or how to get there. I just wanted to say that I am hugely grateful to you for writing this story, which I am enjoying immensely, both as a Nasu fan and a Psyren fan.

I mean, sometimes good Fate or Tsuki fics bubble up from the bowels of the internet, but a good Psyren fic? That's like hen's teeth!
 

Leidolf

Well-Known Member
#59
@ Daniel: It would really depend on how far back she could use her retrocognition. She's accessing records of the past stored on the item, but her access on how far they can dive would depend on how strong her ability goes. After one or two trips it should hit the point it can reach 6 months back, but if Shinji is wary then his first inclination would be to stay away like he got wary when Ayako demonstrated Telepathy. So she suspects from his behavior that he had some involvement and checks the school's past around when the incident happened and can peg what happened before consulting Emiya and Rin on it.

@Trevelyan
I know right. It's hard to find anything on it, and even then this is mostly psyren told from a Nasu perspective.
 
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