Random Daria Snippets

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
#1
A thread to post snippets for the MTV cartoon Daria.

Here are a few of mine, some a little serious, some not, all AU. Two of them contain sections from a writer called drmike:

"Tom, I kissed your girlfriend."

"What?"

"I kissed your girlfriend. I kissed Jane. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

Tom blinked at Daria for a bit. "Next time, can I watch?"

"There may not be a next time."

"What happened?"

"We talked, I kissed her, she ran."

"Ouch."

*************************************************************************************

"Jane, there's something I have to tell you..."

Jane rolled her eyes and banged her head against the school locker.? "I wonder if I started bribing these fanfic authors....."? She turned to Daria with a sigh.? "What is it?"

Daria looked at her best friend for a second or two.? Then she reached out, grabbed Jane's head with both hands, yanked her close, and kissed her with all the passion that she could.
Jane shook her head at the memory, as she stalked away from Alison's place.

"What am I, a lesbian magnet?"

The problem she had wasn't really related to Alison. She wasn't attracted to her, or to many of the women she'd seen posing nude here, or to most of the girls she'd shared the locker room with for the past few years. Until Daria had kissed her, she hadn't thought of girls like that, at all. (Well, not much, anyway.) That kiss had been the hottest thing she'd ever felt, though, only Tom's kisses even came close, and she wanted to do it again. Just the thought of it was enough to make her wish she'd brought her supply of 'special toys' with her.

'If she's that good at kissing,' thought Jane, 'what would the sex be like? Oh, ghod, I can't believe I just thought that.' It was going to be a long night.

The next day, after an argument with Alison, she returned to Lawndale in disgust.

*************************************************************************************

Daria was typing on her computer, when there was a knock on her door.

"The party you have reached has been disconnected, please try again never."

"Daria? Its me. Can we talk?"

"Jane?! Uh, just a sec." Quickly, she minimized the window she was working on, pulling up another, containing one of her unfinished works. It would never be finished, now. "OK, enter freely and of your own will."

"Hey, Amiga. I've been thinking a lot about what you did, couldn't get it out of my head, in fact, and- well, I- oh, hell, it worked for you." With that, she stepped into Daria's personal space, grabbed her head with both hands, yanked her close, and kissed her with all the passion that she could.

"Wow," said Daria, panting and a little flushed.

"Yeah," said Jane, "that's what I couldn't get out of my head. I'm straight, or at least I think I am, I'm not really attracted to any other girl, but just the thought of kissing you, and I need new underwear."

Daria just stared off into space, wearing a silly grin that was completely at odds with her usual look.

"Yo, Morgendorffer, can you quit smiling like that, you're scaring me."

"Huh? Oh, sorry Jane. What were you saying?"

"That I thought I was straight, I don't really want other girls, but I really want you. What's it mean?"

"Um, just a sec," said Daria, pulling a book from her shelf, and flipping though it. "Here," she said, finding the page, and passing it to Jane.

On the page was a table called "The Kinsey Scale," which read as follows:

"0 - exclusively heterosexual

1 - predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homoexual

2 - predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual

3 - equally heterosexual and homosexual

4 - predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual

5 - predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual

6 - exclusively homosexual"

Looking a number 1 on the chart, Jane said, "So, you're my 'incident'?"

"I think so," said Daria.

"Well," asked Jane, "where are you?"

"I'm around a 4 or 5," replied Daria, "though I thought I was a 6, before I met Trent."

"So, maybe you're just Lane-o-sexual?" suggested Jane.

"Um, no, I... like Tom, too," said Daria. "We havent done anything, though, for obvious reasons."

"Oh. Did you tell him about..."

"Yeah. He asked if he could watch, next time."

"Well, at least he's OK with it."

"Yeah," said Daria. "Do you want to let him watch, or... or maybe participate?"

"Do you?" asked Jane.

"Y- yes," she said, quietly.
The younger of the two new girls, Quinn, wore a pair of combat boots, comfortable bluejeans, a pink T-shirt, and reading glasses. The glasses, and her minimal makeup, effectively concealed the faint scar under her right eye from all but the most perceptive viewers, and her shirt bore the following, cryptic, phrase:

PH34R
T3H
KY00T
0N3Z!


The elder sister, Daria, wore combat boots as well, though hers were a bit more worn in.? Above them, she was clad in a short, black pleated skirt, and a green jacket, which hung open to reveal an orange, midriff-baring T-shirt, whose deep violet lettering declared:

SOYLENT
GREEN
IS
PURPLE!


Her clothes also left a few faded scars visible: one on her right thigh, one on her abdomen, a couple of inches above and to the left of her navel, and a matched pair on her left hand, one in the palm and one on the back, as though a knife had been stabbed through it.? Though the viewer is unlikely to notice, she wore a pair of soft, disposable contact lenses in her eyes.? She wore less makeup than Quinn, but not by much.
Tom tried to push away with his remaining strength but felt limp as Daria drained the last of his blood out of his body.? Daria shoved the empty husk away in digust and hunger as she turned towards her former best friend, Jane.? Jane look in horror at the evil that Daria had become.? The ridge on the top of her face.? The fangs in her mouth.? Jane tightened her grip on her cross and her spike.

"Jane..."? Daria's voice was deep and frightening.? Jane tried not to shutter as the
fear flowed through her body.

"Um, y-yes, Daria?"

Daria's face lit up with an evil grin.? "I kissed your boyfriend."
"W-will he rise?" asked Jane.

"No," said Daria, and then she moved, closing the space between them in an instant,
her sudden, firm grip on Jane's wrists forcing the artist to drop the cross and railroad
spike with which she would have defended herself.

"Will I?" Jane asked, shivering, and not only with fear.

"Oh, yes," said Daria, and with that, the Vampire pressed forward, biting down into
the supple flesh of her friend's neck. Jane swooned as the heady mix of pain and
pleasure coursed through her young body.
The above may end up as a story Quinn is reading in class, to freak out O'Neill, hence the cheesy prose.

[b[Jane's Revenge[/b]

Daria woke up, and immediately knew something was wrong.? First of all, her wrists and ankles were tightly restrained, though not so tightly that she couldn't feel her hands and feet.? Secondly, by the feeling of air on her skin, she was naked, apart from the tape over her mouth, and a cloth bag covering her head, blinding her, but allowing her to breathe - not that she'd be able to see much, without her glasses.? She was definately on a bed, but the pillow was under her ass.

Trying not to panic, Daria focused on where she had been, before waking up, here.? She'd gotten a call from Jane, saying she was back from the Art Colony, and wanted to talk to Daria, but it would be a very long discussion, so she should plan to sleep over.? Getting her mother's permission wasn't to difficult, so she was able to leave right away.

When she arrived, Jane started with nervous small-talk, asking her to smell some perfume Jane had gotten at the colony, which she sprayed a liberal amount of on a handkerchief.? When Daria went to smell it, Jane pressed it over her nose and mouth, and held it there, until Daria blacked out.

OK, thought Daria, Jane probably hasn't forgiven me for stealing her boyfriend.? I pretty much deserve whatever she's going to do to me, though.
Note: Personally, I don't think Daria deserves what she thinks Jane is going to do to her, but Daria certainly thinks so.

So, here are mine. Discuss them, post your own, or whatever.
 

Ike

Well-Known Member
#2
The only Daria thing I had ever read before this was the Daria/Ranma crossover over on the Addventure. Which was fantastic, and something I wish had been continued.



These weren't so bad, though that cheezy vampire bit was terrible. Mainly because any other vampire story I've ever seen sucked balls, so I'm assuming that one would too.



Other then that, it was perfectly fine.
 

popopo

Active Member
#3
Ike said:
The only Daria thing I had ever read before this was the Daria/Ranma crossover over on the Addventure. Which was fantastic, and something I wish had been continued.
If you're after more, I recall enjoying a series over at fanfiction.net revealing Daria to be the daughter of Victor von Doom.
 

SoulGriever13

Well-Known Member
#4
Ike, you've been here long enough to know that dropping a line like that demands an attached link, or disclaimer that you've lost it.

Same, aside from the long enough, for popopo.

Links, people. Links!

That concludes this public service announcement.

-Griever
 

Ike

Well-Known Member
#5
SoulGriever13 said:
Ike, you've been here long enough to know that dropping a line like that demands an attached link, or disclaimer that you've lost it.

Same, aside from the long enough, for popopo.

Links, people. Links!

That concludes this public service announcement.

-Griever
You're lucky that I decided I needed to reread them after seeing this, or I'd have to tell ya I don't have 'em.

http://addventure.bast-enterprises.de/frec...-Tailed+Warrior

They're all listed by 'Cypher3au', who I'm pretty sure is a member of this forum, too.

Took me half an hour to track the story down :D.
 

popopo

Active Member
#6
SoulGriever13 said:
Same, aside from the long enough, for popopo.
Check those member numbers, SG. (Lurkers represent!)

In turn, I assume you've been on the Internet long enough to know how to use a search engine. How hard was that? :p
 

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
#7
popopo said:
SoulGriever13 said:
Same, aside from the long enough, for popopo.
Check those member numbers, SG. (Lurkers represent!)

In turn, I assume you've been on the Internet long enough to know how to use a search engine. How hard was that? :p
Also, if you follow the link in the OP, you can find quite a few fanfics.
 

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
#8
Another fragment, this time in script format:

Daria: No.

Jane: C'mon , Amiga, it'll be cool.

Daria: No way, Lane. I'm not doing porn with you.

Jane: Its not porn, its art. Its culture. Its-

Daria: You and me, getting naked-

Jane: Nude, not naked.

Daria: -and having sex in front of a camera, for every pervert at BFAC to ogle.

Jane: Its not porn, its erotica. Its a legitimate project for my Erotica in Modern Media class.

Daria: I am not losing my virginity on camera!

Jane: ...

Daria (blushes): Forget I said that.

Jane: ... We could rehearse it, first.
Thoughts?
 
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