Sorry this is in script format. It's a rough draft and I don't intend to make the real ending of this story like this, but it was too much fun to not post up. Written with The Ero-Sennin, please enjoy Bleach: Makoto's Misadventures:
Makoto: Wha-I fight Ichigo?! Are you kidding me?! I'm going to die. I'm going to die horribly.
Gin: Oh come on. You won't die.
Makoto: Yes I am! This is ICHIGO KUROSAKI! He's going to wipe the floor with me!
Aizen: Well sure, if you try to fight him on his terms.
Gin: Or you know, really turn evil.
Makoto: I don't want to be evil! Why am I fighting him anyway?!
Tousen: *Shrugs*
Gin: Because if you don't, Aizen will let Nnoitra have Orihime for a few hours. *smirk*
Aizen: I won't really but it will be entertaining to see what my little clone does in reaction.Even I am not that cruel.
Makoto: I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die...*Now in Hueco Mundo getup* Hey Ichigo! Hello... Little green haired girl! What's up?
Nel: Hi!
Makoto: Ah, Ichigo... Orihime said you'd come to save us. Thanks for that, really, I appreciate it, but um... There's a problem with that.
Ichigo: And that is...?
Makoto: I kind of have to kill you.
Ichigo: ...
Nel: ...
Makoto: Yeah.
Nel: NOOOOOOO! Nowun gonna kill Ithigo!
Ichigo: Relax Nel, Makoto isn't really going to kill me.
Makoto: Nope. By the way, look behind you.
Ichigo: Eh? *Looks*
Nel: B-bu-bu-bu...you and Mawkoto ith fwends, right?
Makoto: *STAB THROUGH THE CHEST* ...
Ichigo: !!!
Makoto: Oh, relax.
Nel: Ohhh! I thee!
Makoto: Yeah, but uh, since Ulquiorra's on his way, act a little more distraught, will you?
Nel: NOOO! ITHIGO! *She attacks and bites Makoto* Rrrrr!
Makoto: OW OW OW!
*Later, before Aizen, Tousen and Gin!*
Makoto: OW OW OW! Okay, okay, I killed him already! OW OW OW!
Aizen: Tousen?
Tousen: He appears to be dead.
Aizen: Well done Makoto.
Makoto: Thank you ow ow ow! Can somebody get this little girl off me ow ow ow?!
Aizen: A masterful illusion.
Makoto: Ow?
Nel: *Still biting* Rr?
Aizen: Ichigo, you may come out if you wish.
*Aizen then suddenly finds himself impaled on the end of a lance*
Aizen: ...
*The illusion fades to reveal Adult Nel in released state*
Makoto: Ha! Xanatos gambit, bitch!
Aizen: *reappears behind them* Well done, again. And nice to see you again, Neliel.
Makoto: Nuts!
Ichigo: We tried.
Aizen: Really Makoto, I have been doing this for a long time.
Makoto: Well, I've been doing this long enough for the real Makoto, Ichigo and Nel to run off with Orihime.
Aizen: ...
Gin: ... Owned, bitch.
Aizen: *Runs off*
Makoto: ... I can't believe he fell for that.
Tousen: ...
Ichigo: Neither can I, *Hauls Orihime over his shoulder* Let's go! *Flee*
Nel: ... *Follows*
Makoto: RUN AWAYYYYY! *Ditto*
Aizen: *runs back* ... Gin, Tousen... Why did you not stop them?
Tousen: ... I was stunned with how stupidly brilliant their plan was.
Gin: ...Owned, bitch.
Orihime: Wooaaahhh...!
Makoto: H-Hey! Wait up! Huff... Huff... Huff... Geez, this is worse than gym class...!
Renji: Ichigo! Where are you going? What's...? Oh, you got them. All right!
Ichigo: Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Grimmjow: SHINIGAMIIIII!
Ichigo: *Jumps and steps on Grimmjow's face*
Grimmjow: D'OH!
Ichigo: NO TIME!
*He kicks off Grimmjow and keeps running*
Grimmjow: What?! Oh come on! You owe me a rematch!
*He's run over by Renji*
Grimmjow: GAH!
*Then Makoto and Nel*
Grimmjow: Owww...
Rukia: *Fighting Aaroniero* ...
Makoto: Hi Rukia! We got Orihime! Let's go!
Ichigo: Sorry to cut in! *Scoops up Rukia into his other arm as he passes*
Aaroniero: What?! Hey! I was fighting her!
Rukia: S-sorry not-Lieutenant!
Aaroniero: I was going to make a romantic dinner for you after our fight!
Rukia: You mean make ME, right!?
Aaroniero: No! Really! Cross my non-existent heart! You know that one time you caught me with my wife when we had the paddle? I have all that set up here!
Renji: WHAT?!
Rukia: ...Think we can...
Ichigo: No.
Rukia: Just for a mini-
Makoto: NO!
Rukia: It wonÆt take-!
Renji: NOOOO!
*SOUL SOCIETY*
Unohana: The gateway is open and...UFU! *She's trampled by Ichigo and friends running out*
Chad: Excuse me, coming through. *Carrying Ishida over his shoulder, he comes through last*
Renji: What took you so long?!
Chad: Ishida became... Ahem... Distracted.
Rukia: Is that...lipstick?
Ishida: I had no idea that Female Arrancar were that hard-up for men...
Makoto: Well, at least one was interested in me.
Rukia: Really hard-up.
Makoto: Oh hey! The men seemed equally hard up, considering the lengths that guy went to for you.
Nel: Ithigo, you're standing on some pale faced weirdo...
Mayuri: Owww...
Ishida: Step on his face a few times.
Ichigo: *Slowly steps off Mayuri, instead*
Yamamoto: Hm. The rescue was a success.
Makoto: ACK!
Yamamoto: Which means that now the Goteiá is at full strength for dealing with Aizen in Karakura Town.
Makoto: Awesome!
Nel: *Child form* Nel can help?
Yamamoto: No, kill the little Arrancar.
Ichigo: Do it and I side with Aizen.
Makoto: Me too!
Orihime: M-Me too!
Yamamoto: Fair enough, the Arrancar can join Ichigo's side.
Nel: Yay! We're on teams! Ithigo's team can be the Mongootheth!
Makoto: Yay!
Ichigo: M-Mongooses?
Orihime: Aww... I think the Vaqueros is a better name!
Makoto: Vaq-wha?
Chad: It's Spanish. It means "cowboy".
Makoto: ... But... We're not cowboys...
Orihime: No, but we are Desperados, carving away a life of our own on the frontier of a hostile world!
Nel: Dethberadoth!
Byakuya: ... Rukia, you're standing on my throat. Please get off.
Rukia: S-sorry.
Zaraki: Well let's get going already. I'm not wasting any more time here... Unless you'd all like to fight me before we get this party started? *psychotic grin*
Unohana: ...I will, if you like. *Returns a serene smile*
Nanao: *Chirps up* May we leave, now?
Makoto: Yes. Please.
*ABOVE THE FAKE KARAKURA...*
Grimmjow: Aaroniero, what the fuck are you doing?
Aaroniero: I'm setting up for my date-I MEAN, battle with Ru-I mean Kuchiki! Yeah! I've got plans! EVIL plans!
Halibel: *Rolls her eyes* Why have you not discarded that face...?
Grimmjow: ... You have an entire fucking kitchen, dining room and bedroom set up in mid-air.
Aaroniero: I-I kind of like it!Besides, he has the coolest powers out of anything I've absorbed.
Barragon: ...
Aizen: Nevermind Aaroniero's little quirks... It's not the worst thing we've had to ignore from him.
Sun-Sun: Halibel-sama, may I have the troublesome clone of Aizen-sama after the battle? I wish to make my displeasure with his behavior known... Personally.
Grimmjow: ...
Apache: Me too!
Halibel: ...
Mila-Rose: Me as well.
Nnoitra: I can't wait to get my hands on that bitch Neliel. After all these years, I'll finally put her in her place! And then sheÆll cook me dinner, and service me in bed, hahahaha!
Grimmjow: ... Fucking freak.
Stark: *Sleeping in mid-air*
Yammy: I'm hungry!
Ulquiorra: ...
*The Goteiá shows up, now with Ichigo and friends as backup*
Aizen: Ah, Captain-General, how nice to see you and... Oh dear.
Ulquiorra: We're outnumbered and outgunned.
Chad: *blinks and sweats as Halibel seems to have a great deal of interest in him*
Grimmjow: Che! So what? SHINIGAMI!
Byakuya: ...
Zaraki? Yeah?
Isane: Yes?
Hanatarou: Yes?
Unohana: Mm?
Grimmjow: ... THE ORANGE HAIRED ONE!
Ichigo: Wat?
Grimmjow: You owe me a rematch! Come on and fight me!
Ichigo: Che, I'll be having tea with the old man.
Grimmjow: WHAT?!
Yamamoto: *Already boiling the tea as he sits down with Kyoraku, Unohana, and Ukitake*
Aaroniero: Oh Rukiaaaa! Look! I made your favorittte! Come on overrrr!
Aizen: ...
Gin: It seems that the Gotei Thirteen are not taking us seriously.
Aizen: I noticed, Gin.
Tousen: How unjust. Behold their arrogance.
Syazel: Hmph.
Aizen: ... It would help if our own forces were not supporting this...
Mayuri: Hmm...gonna study you...and you...and you... *He's pointing at the various Espada and their Fraccion* Definitely you. *He points at Aizen*
Aizen: ... Aaroniero!
Aaroniero: *serving Rukia wine* What?!
Rukia: What? It's a good year.
Aizen: STARK!
Stark: Hey, it's a good year.
Halibel: Sado... I am your mother.
Chad: ...I see.
Halibel: ... You are not reacting badly to this news?
Chad: Well. I figured that you would either be a Plus or a Minus.
Chad: I didn't see you at all in Soul Society, so I figured that you must've become a Hollow.
Chad: What does surprise me is that you're so strong.
Chad: If we fought, you'd beat me.
Ichigo: Chad, if Menoly over there fought you, you'd lose.
Ishida: Ouch.
Halibel: Well, you're young yet. Give it enough time and you'll become even stronger than I am eventually.
Chad: I see.
Halibel: ... Care for some coffee? Apache! Get us some coffee.
Aaroniero: STARK! Get the hell out of here, this isn't your date!
Stark: Don't mind me, I'm only here for atmosphere.
Rukia: Yes, this dinner does seem a bit more...latin with him around.
Aaroniero: It's Italian!
Stark: It's still Romance.
Aaroniero: You won't let him stay after dinner, will you Rukia-chan?
Rukia: Maybe.
Aaroniero: Argghhh...!
Rukia: If he's good with the guitar, I might just have him stick around to play...
Grimmjow: What the fuck is going on?! Why is nobody taking this seriously?! ORANGE HAIRED SHINIGAMI, I WANT TO FIGHT!
Kenpachi: A fight, you say?
Grimmjow: Not you, HIM!
Byakuya: Who?
Grimmjow: ... You know, the orange haired Shinigami!
Byakuya: Her? *points at Matsumoto*
Matsumoto: Mmm...I'll fight you~
Hitsugaya: MATSUMOTO!
Matsumoto: What!? He's hot!
Hitsugaya: Oh no! I already lost ONE woman to the creations of evil bastards, not two! *He grabs Matsumoto's wrist* She's mine, you hear me? Mine! MINE! You canÆt have her! MINE! *Snuggles into her boobs*
Grimmjow: Fine! Geez!
Matsumoto: Oh, Captain!
Ichigo: *Sipping his tea* So, a fake town, huh?
Byakuya: Yes. *Sips his own tea*Urahara's idea.
Yamamoto: It prevents Aizen from destroying the real town.
Ichigo: Huh, Hat and Clogs, eh? He's pretty clever...
Gin: Why do you think we got rid of 'im? *Sips tea as well*
Aizen: GIN!
Gin: What?
Shinji: Oh, I wouldn't be a worryin' about him, or anything else there, Lieutenant.
Aizen: Shinji...
Shinji: And friends.
*The other Vizard pose around him like a Sentai Team*
Makoto: Hi Shinji! *waves*
Shinji: Hey! What's up, Mako!
Makoto: Nothing much! So, what theme music do you guys want?
Shinji: Something hip, trendy.
Shinji: Maybe some of that Jazz poor Sousuke here never really got.
Makoto: *Makes his sword play "Don't Be That Way", big band style*
Shinji: *Grin* Oooohhh...good one. *Draws his sword* Let's go, kids!
*Epic beatdown on Aizen's face commences*
Aizen: OW OW OW OW OW OWWWW!
Shinji: Not so tough without your plans and backup, are ya!?
Hiyori: Kick him in his nuts!
Kensei: Gladly! Mashiro!
Aizen: Oh no-!
Mashiro: MASHIRO GROIN BUSTER KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!
Aizen: *high pitched choking sound*
Tousen: ... *Can't stand anymore and prepares to Shikai*
Komamura: TOUSENNNN!!!
Tousen: ...Komamur--*PUNCH'D*
Kira: *To Hisagi* I bet he never saw that one coming.
Komamura: *Keeps his sword firmly in its sheath as he delivers a truly epic beatdown to Tousen*
Hisagi: Ohhh... That was bad.
Kira: *Small smirk*
Syazel: ... Now's my chance to kill them all while they are distracted by their nonsense...
Mayuri: Yes, that would be a most effective and daring plan. If you were just a bit faster.
Ishida: Yes.
Syazel: ...Oh? I have speed, more than enough for you... eh?
Nemu: *Pulls out the syringe*
Mayuri: *sighs* It seems that Aizen did not make his Arrancar with common sense. Honestly...
Nemu: The injection is complete.
Ishida: Tell me, Doctor, what was it that you injected into Syazel?
Mayuri: I'd be happy to!
*A cartoony background drawn by Rukia pops up*
Placard: Doctor Kurotsuchi's Medical Science Minute
Mayuri: First, it disables his immune system by tying it up with a host of my own specially crafted nanite machines.
*Chibi Ishida, chibi Nemu, Nel, and Yachiru are gathered around*
Yachiru: Oh! So it gives him AIDS?
Mayuri: Ah, that is but the first step! While his defenses are occupied, the second wave of the injection goes to work, shutting down his nervous system with a neurotoxin derived from his own ectoplasm. His already beleaguered immune system can't fight off a poison that matches the rest of his body. The third wave comes into play, causing his body to forcibly eject his own reiatsu as quickly as possible, as his immune system thinks it needs to evacuate his body of "bad" reiatsu: Which is, in fact, all of it. And finally, it causes his soul core to implode, generating an ecto-plasmic fusion reaction, causing the whole horrible mess to explode.
Nel: Oooh! How big is the egblothion?
*KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!*
Mayuri: That big. Hmmm... Larger than I would have expected, fascinating...
Chibi Nemu: *Looks at scanning device* Indeed, it is the equivalent to 500 tons of TNT.You've done it again, Doctor.
Yachiru: Yay! Fireworks!
Chibi Ishida: *Adjusting Sunglasses* Spectacular indeed.
Mayuri: Ah, but of course! This is SCIENCE!
*As the mushroom cloud rises...*
Yamamoto: I see we missed another Science Minute.
Mayuri: Don't worry, Nemu Number Two got it all on video.
Yamamoto: Good job.
Unohana: I love Science Minutes, they're so amusing.
Mayuri: Now Nemus! Since you were less useless than usual on this mission, you may choose your own reward!
Nemu: *Cuddles Ishida*
Nemu Two: *cuddles Ishida on the other side*
Mayuri: Oh, very well. But I expect no less than six grandchildren each!
Ishida: Eh!?
Mayuri: Hmmm... No, better make it eight children each.
Ishida: You're a jerk.
Mayuri: Well I'm not about to let you have my two lovely daughters if I don't get to see grandchildren! But fine, you can wait on it. Bah...
Ishida: Whew.
Nemu: Thank you, Kurotsuchi-sama. *Drags Ishida off with her sister*
Makoto: Well, now I'm bored...
Sun-Sun: We can change that.
Makoto: ACK! Oh, hey Sun-Sun! ... Apache... Mila...
Mila-Rose: *Blush*
Makoto: So, we're going to fight now?
Apache: No...not fight. *Licks her lips*
Makoto: Uhhh...
Sun-Sun: Mila-Rose, hold him down. I'm first~
Makoto: Huh?! H-Hey, wait a minute! *struggles*
*All three are blasted by a kido*
Makoto: YES!
Hinamori: MAKOTO-KUN IS MIIIIIIIIINE!
Makoto: NO! Uh, h-hi Hinamori! Uh, great to see you...
Hinamori: I...I came to help fight and...
*She stops and looks around at the odd scenes of either mingling or combat*
Hinamori: What's going on here?
Makoto: ... Yeah, I don't really know. I was just going with it.
Ichigo: Damn it Grimmjow, I said NO.
Grimmjow: Fight me already!
Unohana: ... *Gets up slowly and walks over* Excuse me, Jaegerjaques-san?
Grimmjow: Yeah what?
Unohana: If it will please you. If you can stop me from hitting you with one attack, you may fight him.
*Kyoraku and Ukitake glance over, but say nothing*
Grimmjow: What? Are you kidding? Fuck yeah! *He grins and draws his sword* GRIND, PANTERA!
*Full Release Kitty Form*
Grimmjow: Bring it, Captain MILF!
\Unohana: Pantera? Hm. Dimebag... *She sighs* ...He will be missed.
*She draws her sword*
Unohana: One attack. Remember.
Grimmjow: Yeah yeah, whatever woman, let's go!
*Midway through Grimmjow saying go, her foot collides with his face*
Grimmjow: !!! *Smashes through one of the pillars holding the fake Karakura Town up*
Unohana: Oh dear.
Kyoraku: Eh, there are two more.
Grimmjow: H-H-Holy shit...
Hiyori: *Walks by tossing the Orb of Distortion to herself* Not like it matters, anyway.
Grimmjow: Owww...
Unohana: Looks like you lose. I am very sorry.
Grimmjow: Gaahhh... How... The hell... Did that happen...?
Ichigo: She used Shunpo to kick you in the face.
Grimmjow: Shut up Shinigami...
Orihime: *sipping tea next to Ichigo* S-So, um, thank you Kurosaki-kun, for saving me...
Ichigo: No problem, Makoto really did a great job helping us.
Orihime: *beams* Yes, but you carried me out... *She rests her head against his shoulder* Thank you...
Ichigo: You're welcome, Inoue. *Pats her on the head*
Orihime: *blushes heavily*
Grimmjow: Ungh... Fuck... You still makin' eyes at him, woman?
Orihime: Ah, er, um...
Grimmjow: Oh for... *Shoves Ichigo and Orihime's lips together* THERE! *He storms off* Fucking pansies...
Ichigo: Eh!?
Orihime: Mmph?! Ah, er... Um...
Ichigo: ...
Orihime: ... *licks her lips* ... Fuck it. *POUNCE*
*She enthusiastically makes out with him*
Yamamoto: Ah, youth.
Makoto: *Runs by through the air* OH MY GOD AAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Mila-Rose: I'm sorry, he began to tickle me and I couldn't resist!
Sun-Sun: Just catch him!
Hinamori: HEÆS MINE YOU WHORES!
Apache: I CALL FIRST!
Makoto: SOMEBODY HELP MEEEE!
Gin: Oh come on. You won't die.
Makoto: Yes I am! This is ICHIGO KUROSAKI! He's going to wipe the floor with me!
Aizen: Well sure, if you try to fight him on his terms.
Gin: Or you know, really turn evil.
Makoto: I don't want to be evil! Why am I fighting him anyway?!
Tousen: *Shrugs*
Gin: Because if you don't, Aizen will let Nnoitra have Orihime for a few hours. *smirk*
Aizen: I won't really but it will be entertaining to see what my little clone does in reaction.Even I am not that cruel.
Makoto: I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die...*Now in Hueco Mundo getup* Hey Ichigo! Hello... Little green haired girl! What's up?
Nel: Hi!
Makoto: Ah, Ichigo... Orihime said you'd come to save us. Thanks for that, really, I appreciate it, but um... There's a problem with that.
Ichigo: And that is...?
Makoto: I kind of have to kill you.
Ichigo: ...
Nel: ...
Makoto: Yeah.
Nel: NOOOOOOO! Nowun gonna kill Ithigo!
Ichigo: Relax Nel, Makoto isn't really going to kill me.
Makoto: Nope. By the way, look behind you.
Ichigo: Eh? *Looks*
Nel: B-bu-bu-bu...you and Mawkoto ith fwends, right?
Makoto: *STAB THROUGH THE CHEST* ...
Ichigo: !!!
Makoto: Oh, relax.
Nel: Ohhh! I thee!
Makoto: Yeah, but uh, since Ulquiorra's on his way, act a little more distraught, will you?
Nel: NOOO! ITHIGO! *She attacks and bites Makoto* Rrrrr!
Makoto: OW OW OW!
*Later, before Aizen, Tousen and Gin!*
Makoto: OW OW OW! Okay, okay, I killed him already! OW OW OW!
Aizen: Tousen?
Tousen: He appears to be dead.
Aizen: Well done Makoto.
Makoto: Thank you ow ow ow! Can somebody get this little girl off me ow ow ow?!
Aizen: A masterful illusion.
Makoto: Ow?
Nel: *Still biting* Rr?
Aizen: Ichigo, you may come out if you wish.
*Aizen then suddenly finds himself impaled on the end of a lance*
Aizen: ...
*The illusion fades to reveal Adult Nel in released state*
Makoto: Ha! Xanatos gambit, bitch!
Aizen: *reappears behind them* Well done, again. And nice to see you again, Neliel.
Makoto: Nuts!
Ichigo: We tried.
Aizen: Really Makoto, I have been doing this for a long time.
Makoto: Well, I've been doing this long enough for the real Makoto, Ichigo and Nel to run off with Orihime.
Aizen: ...
Gin: ... Owned, bitch.
Aizen: *Runs off*
Makoto: ... I can't believe he fell for that.
Tousen: ...
Ichigo: Neither can I, *Hauls Orihime over his shoulder* Let's go! *Flee*
Nel: ... *Follows*
Makoto: RUN AWAYYYYY! *Ditto*
Aizen: *runs back* ... Gin, Tousen... Why did you not stop them?
Tousen: ... I was stunned with how stupidly brilliant their plan was.
Gin: ...Owned, bitch.
Orihime: Wooaaahhh...!
Makoto: H-Hey! Wait up! Huff... Huff... Huff... Geez, this is worse than gym class...!
Renji: Ichigo! Where are you going? What's...? Oh, you got them. All right!
Ichigo: Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Grimmjow: SHINIGAMIIIII!
Ichigo: *Jumps and steps on Grimmjow's face*
Grimmjow: D'OH!
Ichigo: NO TIME!
*He kicks off Grimmjow and keeps running*
Grimmjow: What?! Oh come on! You owe me a rematch!
*He's run over by Renji*
Grimmjow: GAH!
*Then Makoto and Nel*
Grimmjow: Owww...
Rukia: *Fighting Aaroniero* ...
Makoto: Hi Rukia! We got Orihime! Let's go!
Ichigo: Sorry to cut in! *Scoops up Rukia into his other arm as he passes*
Aaroniero: What?! Hey! I was fighting her!
Rukia: S-sorry not-Lieutenant!
Aaroniero: I was going to make a romantic dinner for you after our fight!
Rukia: You mean make ME, right!?
Aaroniero: No! Really! Cross my non-existent heart! You know that one time you caught me with my wife when we had the paddle? I have all that set up here!
Renji: WHAT?!
Rukia: ...Think we can...
Ichigo: No.
Rukia: Just for a mini-
Makoto: NO!
Rukia: It wonÆt take-!
Renji: NOOOO!
*SOUL SOCIETY*
Unohana: The gateway is open and...UFU! *She's trampled by Ichigo and friends running out*
Chad: Excuse me, coming through. *Carrying Ishida over his shoulder, he comes through last*
Renji: What took you so long?!
Chad: Ishida became... Ahem... Distracted.
Rukia: Is that...lipstick?
Ishida: I had no idea that Female Arrancar were that hard-up for men...
Makoto: Well, at least one was interested in me.
Rukia: Really hard-up.
Makoto: Oh hey! The men seemed equally hard up, considering the lengths that guy went to for you.
Nel: Ithigo, you're standing on some pale faced weirdo...
Mayuri: Owww...
Ishida: Step on his face a few times.
Ichigo: *Slowly steps off Mayuri, instead*
Yamamoto: Hm. The rescue was a success.
Makoto: ACK!
Yamamoto: Which means that now the Goteiá is at full strength for dealing with Aizen in Karakura Town.
Makoto: Awesome!
Nel: *Child form* Nel can help?
Yamamoto: No, kill the little Arrancar.
Ichigo: Do it and I side with Aizen.
Makoto: Me too!
Orihime: M-Me too!
Yamamoto: Fair enough, the Arrancar can join Ichigo's side.
Nel: Yay! We're on teams! Ithigo's team can be the Mongootheth!
Makoto: Yay!
Ichigo: M-Mongooses?
Orihime: Aww... I think the Vaqueros is a better name!
Makoto: Vaq-wha?
Chad: It's Spanish. It means "cowboy".
Makoto: ... But... We're not cowboys...
Orihime: No, but we are Desperados, carving away a life of our own on the frontier of a hostile world!
Nel: Dethberadoth!
Byakuya: ... Rukia, you're standing on my throat. Please get off.
Rukia: S-sorry.
Zaraki: Well let's get going already. I'm not wasting any more time here... Unless you'd all like to fight me before we get this party started? *psychotic grin*
Unohana: ...I will, if you like. *Returns a serene smile*
Nanao: *Chirps up* May we leave, now?
Makoto: Yes. Please.
*ABOVE THE FAKE KARAKURA...*
Grimmjow: Aaroniero, what the fuck are you doing?
Aaroniero: I'm setting up for my date-I MEAN, battle with Ru-I mean Kuchiki! Yeah! I've got plans! EVIL plans!
Halibel: *Rolls her eyes* Why have you not discarded that face...?
Grimmjow: ... You have an entire fucking kitchen, dining room and bedroom set up in mid-air.
Aaroniero: I-I kind of like it!Besides, he has the coolest powers out of anything I've absorbed.
Barragon: ...
Aizen: Nevermind Aaroniero's little quirks... It's not the worst thing we've had to ignore from him.
Sun-Sun: Halibel-sama, may I have the troublesome clone of Aizen-sama after the battle? I wish to make my displeasure with his behavior known... Personally.
Grimmjow: ...
Apache: Me too!
Halibel: ...
Mila-Rose: Me as well.
Nnoitra: I can't wait to get my hands on that bitch Neliel. After all these years, I'll finally put her in her place! And then sheÆll cook me dinner, and service me in bed, hahahaha!
Grimmjow: ... Fucking freak.
Stark: *Sleeping in mid-air*
Yammy: I'm hungry!
Ulquiorra: ...
*The Goteiá shows up, now with Ichigo and friends as backup*
Aizen: Ah, Captain-General, how nice to see you and... Oh dear.
Ulquiorra: We're outnumbered and outgunned.
Chad: *blinks and sweats as Halibel seems to have a great deal of interest in him*
Grimmjow: Che! So what? SHINIGAMI!
Byakuya: ...
Zaraki? Yeah?
Isane: Yes?
Hanatarou: Yes?
Unohana: Mm?
Grimmjow: ... THE ORANGE HAIRED ONE!
Ichigo: Wat?
Grimmjow: You owe me a rematch! Come on and fight me!
Ichigo: Che, I'll be having tea with the old man.
Grimmjow: WHAT?!
Yamamoto: *Already boiling the tea as he sits down with Kyoraku, Unohana, and Ukitake*
Aaroniero: Oh Rukiaaaa! Look! I made your favorittte! Come on overrrr!
Aizen: ...
Gin: It seems that the Gotei Thirteen are not taking us seriously.
Aizen: I noticed, Gin.
Tousen: How unjust. Behold their arrogance.
Syazel: Hmph.
Aizen: ... It would help if our own forces were not supporting this...
Mayuri: Hmm...gonna study you...and you...and you... *He's pointing at the various Espada and their Fraccion* Definitely you. *He points at Aizen*
Aizen: ... Aaroniero!
Aaroniero: *serving Rukia wine* What?!
Rukia: What? It's a good year.
Aizen: STARK!
Stark: Hey, it's a good year.
Halibel: Sado... I am your mother.
Chad: ...I see.
Halibel: ... You are not reacting badly to this news?
Chad: Well. I figured that you would either be a Plus or a Minus.
Chad: I didn't see you at all in Soul Society, so I figured that you must've become a Hollow.
Chad: What does surprise me is that you're so strong.
Chad: If we fought, you'd beat me.
Ichigo: Chad, if Menoly over there fought you, you'd lose.
Ishida: Ouch.
Halibel: Well, you're young yet. Give it enough time and you'll become even stronger than I am eventually.
Chad: I see.
Halibel: ... Care for some coffee? Apache! Get us some coffee.
Aaroniero: STARK! Get the hell out of here, this isn't your date!
Stark: Don't mind me, I'm only here for atmosphere.
Rukia: Yes, this dinner does seem a bit more...latin with him around.
Aaroniero: It's Italian!
Stark: It's still Romance.
Aaroniero: You won't let him stay after dinner, will you Rukia-chan?
Rukia: Maybe.
Aaroniero: Argghhh...!
Rukia: If he's good with the guitar, I might just have him stick around to play...
Grimmjow: What the fuck is going on?! Why is nobody taking this seriously?! ORANGE HAIRED SHINIGAMI, I WANT TO FIGHT!
Kenpachi: A fight, you say?
Grimmjow: Not you, HIM!
Byakuya: Who?
Grimmjow: ... You know, the orange haired Shinigami!
Byakuya: Her? *points at Matsumoto*
Matsumoto: Mmm...I'll fight you~
Hitsugaya: MATSUMOTO!
Matsumoto: What!? He's hot!
Hitsugaya: Oh no! I already lost ONE woman to the creations of evil bastards, not two! *He grabs Matsumoto's wrist* She's mine, you hear me? Mine! MINE! You canÆt have her! MINE! *Snuggles into her boobs*
Grimmjow: Fine! Geez!
Matsumoto: Oh, Captain!
Ichigo: *Sipping his tea* So, a fake town, huh?
Byakuya: Yes. *Sips his own tea*Urahara's idea.
Yamamoto: It prevents Aizen from destroying the real town.
Ichigo: Huh, Hat and Clogs, eh? He's pretty clever...
Gin: Why do you think we got rid of 'im? *Sips tea as well*
Aizen: GIN!
Gin: What?
Shinji: Oh, I wouldn't be a worryin' about him, or anything else there, Lieutenant.
Aizen: Shinji...
Shinji: And friends.
*The other Vizard pose around him like a Sentai Team*
Makoto: Hi Shinji! *waves*
Shinji: Hey! What's up, Mako!
Makoto: Nothing much! So, what theme music do you guys want?
Shinji: Something hip, trendy.
Shinji: Maybe some of that Jazz poor Sousuke here never really got.
Makoto: *Makes his sword play "Don't Be That Way", big band style*
Shinji: *Grin* Oooohhh...good one. *Draws his sword* Let's go, kids!
*Epic beatdown on Aizen's face commences*
Aizen: OW OW OW OW OW OWWWW!
Shinji: Not so tough without your plans and backup, are ya!?
Hiyori: Kick him in his nuts!
Kensei: Gladly! Mashiro!
Aizen: Oh no-!
Mashiro: MASHIRO GROIN BUSTER KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!
Aizen: *high pitched choking sound*
Tousen: ... *Can't stand anymore and prepares to Shikai*
Komamura: TOUSENNNN!!!
Tousen: ...Komamur--*PUNCH'D*
Kira: *To Hisagi* I bet he never saw that one coming.
Komamura: *Keeps his sword firmly in its sheath as he delivers a truly epic beatdown to Tousen*
Hisagi: Ohhh... That was bad.
Kira: *Small smirk*
Syazel: ... Now's my chance to kill them all while they are distracted by their nonsense...
Mayuri: Yes, that would be a most effective and daring plan. If you were just a bit faster.
Ishida: Yes.
Syazel: ...Oh? I have speed, more than enough for you... eh?
Nemu: *Pulls out the syringe*
Mayuri: *sighs* It seems that Aizen did not make his Arrancar with common sense. Honestly...
Nemu: The injection is complete.
Ishida: Tell me, Doctor, what was it that you injected into Syazel?
Mayuri: I'd be happy to!
*A cartoony background drawn by Rukia pops up*
Placard: Doctor Kurotsuchi's Medical Science Minute
Mayuri: First, it disables his immune system by tying it up with a host of my own specially crafted nanite machines.
*Chibi Ishida, chibi Nemu, Nel, and Yachiru are gathered around*
Yachiru: Oh! So it gives him AIDS?
Mayuri: Ah, that is but the first step! While his defenses are occupied, the second wave of the injection goes to work, shutting down his nervous system with a neurotoxin derived from his own ectoplasm. His already beleaguered immune system can't fight off a poison that matches the rest of his body. The third wave comes into play, causing his body to forcibly eject his own reiatsu as quickly as possible, as his immune system thinks it needs to evacuate his body of "bad" reiatsu: Which is, in fact, all of it. And finally, it causes his soul core to implode, generating an ecto-plasmic fusion reaction, causing the whole horrible mess to explode.
Nel: Oooh! How big is the egblothion?
*KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!*
Mayuri: That big. Hmmm... Larger than I would have expected, fascinating...
Chibi Nemu: *Looks at scanning device* Indeed, it is the equivalent to 500 tons of TNT.You've done it again, Doctor.
Yachiru: Yay! Fireworks!
Chibi Ishida: *Adjusting Sunglasses* Spectacular indeed.
Mayuri: Ah, but of course! This is SCIENCE!
*As the mushroom cloud rises...*
Yamamoto: I see we missed another Science Minute.
Mayuri: Don't worry, Nemu Number Two got it all on video.
Yamamoto: Good job.
Unohana: I love Science Minutes, they're so amusing.
Mayuri: Now Nemus! Since you were less useless than usual on this mission, you may choose your own reward!
Nemu: *Cuddles Ishida*
Nemu Two: *cuddles Ishida on the other side*
Mayuri: Oh, very well. But I expect no less than six grandchildren each!
Ishida: Eh!?
Mayuri: Hmmm... No, better make it eight children each.
Ishida: You're a jerk.
Mayuri: Well I'm not about to let you have my two lovely daughters if I don't get to see grandchildren! But fine, you can wait on it. Bah...
Ishida: Whew.
Nemu: Thank you, Kurotsuchi-sama. *Drags Ishida off with her sister*
Makoto: Well, now I'm bored...
Sun-Sun: We can change that.
Makoto: ACK! Oh, hey Sun-Sun! ... Apache... Mila...
Mila-Rose: *Blush*
Makoto: So, we're going to fight now?
Apache: No...not fight. *Licks her lips*
Makoto: Uhhh...
Sun-Sun: Mila-Rose, hold him down. I'm first~
Makoto: Huh?! H-Hey, wait a minute! *struggles*
*All three are blasted by a kido*
Makoto: YES!
Hinamori: MAKOTO-KUN IS MIIIIIIIIINE!
Makoto: NO! Uh, h-hi Hinamori! Uh, great to see you...
Hinamori: I...I came to help fight and...
*She stops and looks around at the odd scenes of either mingling or combat*
Hinamori: What's going on here?
Makoto: ... Yeah, I don't really know. I was just going with it.
Ichigo: Damn it Grimmjow, I said NO.
Grimmjow: Fight me already!
Unohana: ... *Gets up slowly and walks over* Excuse me, Jaegerjaques-san?
Grimmjow: Yeah what?
Unohana: If it will please you. If you can stop me from hitting you with one attack, you may fight him.
*Kyoraku and Ukitake glance over, but say nothing*
Grimmjow: What? Are you kidding? Fuck yeah! *He grins and draws his sword* GRIND, PANTERA!
*Full Release Kitty Form*
Grimmjow: Bring it, Captain MILF!
\Unohana: Pantera? Hm. Dimebag... *She sighs* ...He will be missed.
*She draws her sword*
Unohana: One attack. Remember.
Grimmjow: Yeah yeah, whatever woman, let's go!
*Midway through Grimmjow saying go, her foot collides with his face*
Grimmjow: !!! *Smashes through one of the pillars holding the fake Karakura Town up*
Unohana: Oh dear.
Kyoraku: Eh, there are two more.
Grimmjow: H-H-Holy shit...
Hiyori: *Walks by tossing the Orb of Distortion to herself* Not like it matters, anyway.
Grimmjow: Owww...
Unohana: Looks like you lose. I am very sorry.
Grimmjow: Gaahhh... How... The hell... Did that happen...?
Ichigo: She used Shunpo to kick you in the face.
Grimmjow: Shut up Shinigami...
Orihime: *sipping tea next to Ichigo* S-So, um, thank you Kurosaki-kun, for saving me...
Ichigo: No problem, Makoto really did a great job helping us.
Orihime: *beams* Yes, but you carried me out... *She rests her head against his shoulder* Thank you...
Ichigo: You're welcome, Inoue. *Pats her on the head*
Orihime: *blushes heavily*
Grimmjow: Ungh... Fuck... You still makin' eyes at him, woman?
Orihime: Ah, er, um...
Grimmjow: Oh for... *Shoves Ichigo and Orihime's lips together* THERE! *He storms off* Fucking pansies...
Ichigo: Eh!?
Orihime: Mmph?! Ah, er... Um...
Ichigo: ...
Orihime: ... *licks her lips* ... Fuck it. *POUNCE*
*She enthusiastically makes out with him*
Yamamoto: Ah, youth.
Makoto: *Runs by through the air* OH MY GOD AAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Mila-Rose: I'm sorry, he began to tickle me and I couldn't resist!
Sun-Sun: Just catch him!
Hinamori: HEÆS MINE YOU WHORES!
Apache: I CALL FIRST!
Makoto: SOMEBODY HELP MEEEE!
