Evangelion Remedial Cooking

[Jetflash]

Around the time of the seventh angel, during routine checkups for the staff at NERV (they occur often, due to the nature of the materials they work around), Ritsuko notices a disturbing trend in the data on the employees: all of them are gaining too much weight too quickly, their blood pressure and blood sugar levels are abnormal, and there are a number of other health complications.

The only people exempt from this are Shinji, Misato, and Asuka (well, and Rei, but her data is abnormal for entirely different reasons).

When she questioned the workers on their eating habits, they all answered they had been eating solely instant food: The huge amount of work dealing with angels, and the closing of a number of the carry-out and delivery places around Tokyo 3 due to angel damage, had left the NERV employees unable to find the time to go out to eat, and unable to order in. Seeing as 99% of them were horrible cooks...

Well, now they needed to learn how, or they might not survive the angel attacks due to health issues.

And Shinji, being the one whose cooking skills kept his roommates and himself healthy, gets to teach them.


Yeah, it's a horrible concept, and only suitable for a crack one-shot, but whatever.

 

[PCHeintz72]

I know I've seen this idea before for NGE... cannot think of where offhand though.

 

[zerohour]

Hm.. considering how Ritsuko is a cat person, and how busy she must be as the lead scientist, it would be amusing if she ate catfood on the occasions she forgot to do the shopping for more food.

A fact Shinji discovers as he looks through her cabinets. :snigger:

 

[PCHeintz72]

Hm.. considering how Ritsuko is a cat person, and how busy she must be as the lead scientist, it would be amusing if she ate catfood on the occasions she forgot to do the shopping for more food.

A fact Shinji discovers as he looks through her cabinets. :snigger:

While she did not eat cat food in them, I am reminded of scenes of her apartment and home life as written in the stories of both 'The Akagi Complex' by Blackfire 18 and 'Superwomen of Eva Treacherous Web' by orionpax09.

Maybe a bit of 'Whatever' by Kraven Ergeist as well, where she cannot cook.

 

[Scygnus Darkhawk]

This idea is made of crack and lulz.

Poor Shinji :snigger:

I can see him enjoying himself before it's over with though, when the class starts to finally get somewhere.

 

[FinalMax]

Hm.. considering how Ritsuko is a cat person, and how busy she must be as the lead scientist, it would be amusing if she ate catfood on the occasions she forgot to do the shopping for more food.

A fact Shinji discovers as he looks through her cabinets. :snigger:

Dry cat food, or the canned meat variety? That's the question. Of course if she wants healthy cats with good teeth, she'll probably get only the dry kind. Makes it kinda funny if she ate it like cereal.

The meaty canned cat food, depending on quality, might end up as part of a casserole. Don't knock the cat food casserole, as there are some people IRL who have had to live on such. Thank whatever I never had to deal with that.

 

[Reader458]

Hm.. considering how Ritsuko is a cat person, and how busy she must be as the lead scientist, it would be amusing if she ate catfood on the occasions she forgot to do the shopping for more food.

A fact Shinji discovers as he looks through her cabinets. :snigger:

Dry cat food, or the canned meat variety? That's the question. Of course if she wants healthy cats with good teeth, she'll probably get only the dry kind. Makes it kinda funny if she ate it like cereal.

The meaty canned cat food, depending on quality, might end up as part of a casserole. Don't knock the cat food casserole, as there are some people IRL who have had to live on such. Thank whatever I never had to deal with that.

Heh. A few months ago there was an uproar as the staff at a kindergarten here in Sweden fed the kids catfood. It was part of a game/lesson on how cats lived by having the kids acting like cats.

 

[wingthesword]

I'm guessing it was fish or something a person might eat? Like canned tunna or something?

 

[Lord Raa]

I know that this is a crackfic idea, but the logician in me must point out that NERV's cafeteria would provide everyone on site with at least one nutritious meal per working day.

Also, what is Ritsuko's role in NERV?

Head of Project E does not mean she has to babysit everyone in NERV - yes it could be a concern that various people having high blood pressure & cholesterol from their poor diets could cause them to die on the job, but they are not children and Ritsuko isn't their mother.


Consider this for an analogy my job title is product test and development engineer. I test components from China to make sure that they perform to standard. The diets of the workers in the factories is not my concern.


Also, eating catfood isn't that big a deal - my sister fed it to my older brother, he fed it to me and I fed it to my younger brother and look how normal I am.


Nyan

 

[Jetflash]

I know that this is a crackfic idea, but the logician in me must point out that NERV's cafeteria would provide everyone on site with at least one nutritious meal per working day.

Also, what is Ritsuko's role in NERV?

Head of Project E does not mean she has to babysit everyone in NERV - yes it could be a concern that various people having high blood pressure & cholesterolá from their poor diets could cause them to die on the job, but they are not children and Ritsuko isn't their mother.


Consider this for an analogy my job title is product test and development engineer.á I test components from China to make sure that they perform to standard. The diets of the workers in the factories is not my concern.


Also, eating catfood isn't that big a deal - my sister fed it to my older brother, he fed it to me and I fed it to my younger brother and look how normal I am.


Nyan

Well, I was under the impression that she's a medical doctor as well, but I'm probably wrong. I just used her because for all the time the pilots spend in the hospital, she's the only person we ever see in the series who deals with their medical issues.


And Lord Raa?

The day you are normal is the day that you and GH decide you really like Naruto again.


EDIT: Yeah, I knew about the cafeteria, but I was hoping that people would ignore it for the potential lulz.

 

[Elvarein]

Also, eating catfood isn't that big a deal - my sister fed it to my older brother, he fed it to me and I fed it to my younger brother and look how normal I am.

Are they all writers of your caliber? If yes, then we must feed more people with the Catfood. ^_^

Seriously though, Lord Raa has a point, you could
a) Create a 1 shot character who has been appointed by UN as their new nutritionist

B) Get Gendo to fire/drive to sucide the existing Nutritionist and order Ritsuko to "take care of it" as he is a stingy poker who does'nt really care, and Ritsuko actually thought he was serious

 

[Reader458]

I'm guessing it was fish or something a person might eat? Like canned tunna or something?

No it was real catfood.

 

[Lord Raa]

Well, I was under the impression that she's a medical doctor as well, but I'm probably wrong. I just used her because for all the time the pilots spend in the hospital, she's the only person we ever see in the series who deals with their medical issues.


And Lord Raa?

The day you are normal is the day that you and GH decide you really like Naruto again.


EDIT: Yeah, I knew about the cafeteria, but I was hoping that people would ignore it for the potential lulz.

1) I don't think is explicitly stated anywhere what Ritsuko's doctorate is in, but since she's continuing the development of the MAGI and working on the various aspects of the Evangelions, I think it's safe to assume that her primary area of expertise is not medicine.

That said, I think that if you decide to do some Lampshade hanging and mention that Ritsuko is annoyed with everyone expecting to oversee all the technical aspects of everything at NERV, then it could work.

2) I NEVER liked Emo McFailninja.

3) With regards to the cafeteria, I don't think the quality of the food is mentioned in the series, so that gives the writer some artistic licence.

It could be one step up from prison gruel where you can eat dirt cheap (see what I did there?) or it could make the roadside greasy spoon look like bastion of healthy cuisine.

Or the staff could be killed in an early Angel attack (or some hilariously ironic event like food poisoning) and that's why everyone is living off instant noodles and other heavily salted snacks.

 

[PCHeintz72]

It occurs to me, if one redid the idea slightly, one could have shinji good at cooking at the start, and think his father wanted him for his cooking skill, and only when arriving in Tokyo 3 did he learn it was to pilot. Combine that backdrop with this idea, where they need to call him in to cook or teach cooking (perhaps Lord Raa's idea at this point where the staff died, and replacments are the bridge bunnies, Ritsuko, Maya, and Misato...).

Basically, a Martian Successor Nadasico subplot backdrop around the NGE cast and mainline plot.