This is the other story I am probably most focused on at the moment-- my attention will likely be split between this and Anything Goes Laundry Service for the foreseeable future. (Well, plus the occasional other random first chapter of a story.) Really not a big fan of the title for this, but I'm not sure what else to go with at the moment. I will be posting Anything Goes Laundry Service to fanfiction.net before this one, but I'd like to get this out there to potentially start cleaning it up ahead of time. This is another one where I have two chapters already written and a third on its way.
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Rules to Be Broken - Chapter 1
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"So, you realise this is a terrible idea, right?"
"Of course."
The two men speaking were crouched behind a low hedge, the sky shading into twilight and presenting convenient shadows that helped to hide them from the larger source of artificial light over the rise. Both spoke quietly, though not particularly furtively, despite their positions.
"Though it can't be as bad as 'It', right?"
"You mean 'The Mistake', capital letters, as much punctuation as you care to use?"
"That's the one."
"Certainly not as bad as that then. Though it probably isn't a good sign when neither Remus or Peter are willing to go along."
Both black-haired heads took a moment to peer over the hedge, taking in the surrounding country side and more importantly their target for the evening. A rather large gathering of well-dressed individuals stood in the shimmering pattern of shadow and amplified moonlight that illuminated most of the well-catered affair, mostly broken up into small groups of four or five that had airs of importance that could be felt from the two men's position.
"Well, to be fair, while it is damn funny when we do it with the Muggle version, having the actual Control of Magical Creatures Department called on him would probably be a bit less amusing for our friend with the furry problem."
"And if anyone was going to do it, it would be Narcissa."
"Very true, very true."
"And if we look at the other side of things, Peter is scared spitless of Lucius after that prank in his seventh year went sideways."
"Not one of our better showings. Though to be fair, we were firsties, so you know, there's that."
"So they have their reasons. Back to whether it approaches 'The Mistake' again, I guess-- checklist time?"
One of the two men pulled a small piece of paper out of his dress robes with a small flourish and made a show of adjusting his glasses. This resulted in a scowl from the other, though he then waved his companion on before responding to the question.
"Yeah, I guess. Really takes the fun out of things though, you know."
"Yeah, but we did give our word. And if there is anything we are known for, it is our iron clad promises. Our word is our bond. Sacred are the sounds that come forth from these lips."
"At least when under the threat of dire bodily harm and lasting social impairment with our closest friends."
"Well, of course. It's not a promise without that."
"So, checklist. Any chance of horrific death or brutal maiming for ourselves or the participants?"
"Not that I can see. Well, aside from the usual attempts at retribution."
A glowing green check mark appeared in the air beside the man.
"Right. Are there any standing bloodfeuds, declared or otherwise, involved in this little prank of ours?"
"Not until we're done." The man with the longer (and certainly more well-behaved) hair grinned evilly. "And might I add how unfair that particular clause is?"
"Too true, too true. Still, bodily harm."
"Right."
A second check appeared in the air, this one moving from time to time and occassionally bumping the first check companionably.
"Next question. Any lasting curses, hexes, jinxes or other magical impairment intended for the participants for which we do not have an antidote or counter on our persons or in our heads?"
"May not use magic at all tonight, so I think we're safe there."
"Hmm... good point, that takes the next... six questions off the list. Only a couple more left. Have all Marauders been given a chance to veto the plan and at a minimum abstained, if not demanded to participate therein. If aforementioned Marauders are not the targets of said prank, in which case our revenge shall be swift and sure in coming."
Seven more glowing checks abruptly fell out of nowhere upon the existing two, burying them outright.
"Think we covered that one already, so I'll give it a yes."
"Works for me. Ok, last question. Are we prepared to face the consequences of our actions today without whining and crying like little girls and hounding Remus Lupin for more than a year until he has the choice of either murdering his friends in cold blood or finally accepting their apology."
"Aye."
The pile of checks trembled slightly, causing the young man who had responded to scowl at them.
"You know that isn't the response."
"Oh come on! He's half a continent away from here. There's no way it can work all the way out here."
"It's a magical artifact of significant arcane puissance and we signed a binding magical contract tying us to it. So, yes, he will find out if we ignore it. At least until we figure out how to circumvent it."
"Damn that man and his Arithmancy. How long do I have?"
"Your hair is already starting to get curly. It'll be blond in another thirty seconds."
"Fuck. Alright. 'I, Sirius Orion Black, one of the aforementioned little girls, do solemnly swear that if I have lied on any of these questions I will pout and cry in my room rather than before the puissant and manly presence of my amazing friend who forgave what had better be the stupidest act of my entire life.' I am so reading the checklist next time, you bastard."
"Hah, only if you find it. Alright, we've done our due diligence. We have a party to crash." James slipped the checklist back into his inner robes, cast a quick sealing spell upon the pocket so his best friend didn't get any ideas while they were on the job and slipped out of the bushes and towards the people they would be gracing with their presence tonight.
As the two of them walked towards their target, the small pile of check marks was joined by one final pink checkmark, then the entire bunch exploded into glitter that twirled into a little miniature tornado as it was sucked through a hole in the air and vanished.
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"How many wards does a fucking engagement party need?"
"Apparently seven, pretty sure this is the last one. Okay, do you have Nott's invitation?"
"In my front pocket, take it, I need both hands to keep this Confundus in place. Seriously, this is overkill. You'd think we were trying to assassinate the Minister of Magic."
"Uhh, yeah, about that-- pretty sure I just saw old Baggy at the buffet."
"Really? Damn, we're good."
James grinned at his friend and snatched the crumpled invitation out of Sirius' pocket. With a particularly convoluted wand motion and a muttered spell, the paper started unfolding, though it didn't stop when it should have. Within a minute, a paper tunnel passed through the final ward and Sirius let his hands drop with a relieved sigh.
Staring at the results of his work, James waved his wand carelessly a couple times to assess the wards. Looked good to him, but the proof was in the lack of horrible, exp-- what was he thinking, that thought definitely deserved to be out loud so it could receive the proper adulation it deserved. "Looks good to me, but the proof is in the lack of horrible, explodey doom and ideally none of our insides decorating our outsides."
"Nah, I'm sure Lucius doesn't want spleen all over his pumpkin pasties and guests. At least not until the main event which probably involves sacrificing his first born to a dark god or something."
"Eww, he's spawned?"
"Not yet, so hopefully we should be safe. Could you imagine a mini-Lucy?"
"I'd rather not." Ok, all jokes aside, it might be safer to actually test the results of their spellwork before entrusting his good looks to it. A wave of his wand summoned a rabbit at the paper tunnel's entrance, and it only took a touch of the polished leather loafers he was wearing to its rear to get the animal moving. When it failed to spontaneously combust, he took it as a good sign.
Sirius apparently had the same thought, because he said, "Alright, let's go. It's as safe as it's going to get." Ducking through the paper tunnel, he put actions to words and James followed him quickly. Turning back afterwards, he cast a quick Disillusionment spell on the tunnel to hide it and then conjured a pumpkin pastie and dropped it in front of their escape route. Hopefully the house elves keeping the party clean wouldn't be coming out quite this far.
Turning back to the party, he had to admit that the Malfoys knew what they were doing when it came to making an impression. Though the party was open air, chandeliers dotted the sky in bejewelled magnificense, the floor gleamed with pale marble, and the servers were all Veela. He and Sirius both took several minutes to appreciate that particular facet of this expedition.
His friend finally said, "You know. Lucius Malfoy is an evil, degenerate prick. But the guy knows how to do it with style."
"Can't really argue with that, Padfoot. Damn, look at that redhead."
An abrupt smack to the back of his head staggered him and he scowled over at his black-haired friend as he rubbed at the spot. The man could have given him a warning at least.
"What are the rules?" Sirius demanded with a grin, his eyes glinting evilly as he raised his hand again.
James pursed his lips, refusing to answer, and ducked another blow his friend leveled at him half-heartedly. He knew he wouldn't be able to connect without getting 'Sirius' now that he was aware of him. He grinned to himself. That said, this was definitely payback for the checklist. Finally though he grimaced and complied. "No redheads, ever, because I am an obsessive fuck whose judgement is not to be trusted around women who can wrap me around their finger and are probably in love with some greasy-haired git anyway.
"Remus seriously needs to pay for the introduction of these 'rules'. He needs at least a few applied to him."
"That's not a bad idea, but what would we even do? Remus must get blitzed at least once a week so he lightens up and stops acting like someone stuck a wand up his butt?"
James gave it some thought. "That has promise. Except that Remus is a mean drunk. I'd rather face him on a full moon without my stag form than at the height of a bender."
"When the hell did you see Remus drunk and why was I not there?"
Waving the question away, the Potter heir said, "I'll tell you later, didn't we come here for a reason?"
"Oh, right. Crashing Cissy's engagement party. Almost forgot about that."
"You say while gulping down her champagne," he quipped, taking a sip of his own drink, lifted from a server as they ambled into the party proper. It prompted a rakish grin and a mimed toast from Sirius. Turning, he scanned the party for the couple of the evening and the likely source of their greatest amusement. He spotted one of the two a moment later and let out a low whistle.
"Wow. You can't hit me for this because she's not a redhead, incidentally, but your cousin is hot." Narcissa was standing casually beside a fountain, a champagne flute in one hand while the other crossed under the pleasant expanse of her breasts and held the elbow of her drink hand. Her hair cascaded down her back in a shimmering platinum waterfall and the dress she was wearing hugged curves that were, well, stunning. "Was she that good looking when we were in school together? I'm not sure that can be natural."
Sirius glanced over his cousin and said, "Not that I paid much attention, since you know, cousin and by definition evil, but no, I don't think she was quite that good looking when she was 17. Then again you were practically still pulling Lily's pigtails when you were 13. I'm pretty sure your balls hadn't even dropped."
Giving his friend a disgusted look, James said, "Not all of us can be attempting to seduce seventh years when they're in their second year of Hogwarts." He gave his friend a malicious smile. "And failing miserably, might I add."
"Shut up, I got to second base."
James snorted. "You don't even know what that means, you nicked it from Ben Stone. If we're translating that to a proper sport, you got hold of the Quaffle-- and then got a bludger to the head. You were in the infirmary for three days."
"So worth it though." Sirius grinned. "Anyway, that does give me an idea for an absolutely brilliant prank though."
"Lucius getting a bludger to the head? Not too subtle, Padfoot."
"Shut up, Prongs. No, the seducing older women part." He gestured with his head towards Narcissa, who appeared to be alone with a few older women while her husband to be schmoozed with politicians at the other end of the plaza.
"Hmm... that's kind of brilliant. Don't think Narcissa will go for you though, old boy. She may be a Black, but she seems to have avoided that predilection towards incest that some of your family displays."
"Which is why you're going to be handling the seducing."
"Me? I couldn't seal the deal in five years and you want me to try and pull it off in five hours?"
"Why not? It's not like you need to succeed, the fun part is watching Malfoy go into apoplexy as you attempt to steal his girl right under his eyes." He gave it some thought. "Point of fact, actually succeeding might well violate question one of the checklist. Pretty sure Malfoy would go right through apoplectic and to murderous."
"Point," James acknowledged. "So I just turn on the Potter charm--"
"By which you mean acting like a berk and hoping that she likes 'arrogant toe-rags' more than Lily did given that she's marrying Malfoy?"
Pretending like his friend hadn't said anything, James continued with a slight addendum. "-- (which depends upon supreme self-confidence and in no way resembles acting like a berk) and see about wooing a fair lady." The toe-rag comment didn't even deserve to be acknowledged.
"Anyway, what are you going to be doing while I am distracting your cousin?"
"Oh, I'm sure I'll find something to occupy myself." Sirius grinned again and twirled his wand. "I'll drop by later to give my regards to Cissy. I'm sure she'll be ecstatic about seeing me again."
"No doubt."
Watching as his friend sauntered away towards the food, likely planning to make use of the half dozen different spells that the Marauder's had invented over the years, James turned to look at the belle of this particular ball.
Shrugging, he walked in the general direction of Padfoot's cousin, snagging a couple flutes of champagne in one hand as he got closer. Slowing his pace, he grinned to himself and slid in beside Narcissa from behind just as she was finishing her current drink.
"Another glass, m'lady?"
"Thank you, I can certainly--" Narcissa's eyes narrowed as she caught sight of James and he gave her an insoucient grin that caused her lips to twist ever so slightly. Not an outright break in that passive facade, but close.
Thinning her lips and smoothing her expressiom, Narcissa said, "I do not recall the Potters being on the guest list for this party-- James, wasn't it?"
"I do bear the honor of holding that name. As to the list, well... I am here, aren't I? Surely, that says something given the very impressive security at this little gala."
"Says something like 'You should have hired the goblins', perhaps?" Narcissa interjected, an eyebrow raised slightly.
James grinned, wagging his owm eyebrows. He had always liked his eyebrows, very expressive in his opinion though perhaps not quite so elegantly succinct as Narcissa's. The cool tone and ice queen facade sent shivers down his spine-- though they certainly weren't from the cold. "It might at that. Sirius did say you had a rather quick tongue. He didn't mention it was clever as well."
"Oh, I hardly think you've been exposed to enough of my wit to judge whether it is clever or not." Narcissa said dismissively. Still, he thought she was a little pleased. Her eyes were a bit brighter than when the conversation had begun and he suspected that Malfoy wasn't the type to compliment her mind rather than her body.
Though to be fair, her beauty did deserve odes sung about it. He rather thought he'd avoid that though-- that had been one of his more disastrous attempts at wooing Lily. Well, several really. He was something of a slow learner on the social front.
Turning his attention back to Narcissa, he just barely caughter her follow up comment.
"Though mention of him does bring up the question of where my wayward cousin has taken himself. I hardly think it likely you've come alone. You were inseperable at Hogwarts."
"Oh, he's around, no doubt re-introducing himself to your lovely family."
"Should I call security then? Last I had heard, Sirius was not on the best of terms with Aunt Walburga."
"Ahh, things aren't quite as strained there as they used to be." Unfortunately, he thought to himself. That had been one unexpected outcome of the Mistake, one of the few positives he supposed though it scarcely felt like that given what utter pricks most of the Blacks were. That probably merited a mention actually. "We're working on it though and feel confident we can restore him to full black sheep status within a year or two."
"Oh?" Another elegantly arched eyebrow distracted James for a moment as it framed the question and he shook himself. He didn't need to get blondes added to the list along with redheads. "Things have been rather quiet from that side of the family. What happened?"
James hesitated for a second, surprised that Narcissa hadn't heard anything at all about it. Apparently Sirius' parents had kept it to themselves despite their quiet approval. The Mistake was hardly his finest moment, but if being an arrogant berk didn't work with women, perhaps a bit of self-deprecation would help to leaven it.
At a minimum, it was a long enough story that it should keep him in Narcissa's presence for long enough that Lucius would notice. If he was lucky, he might even make her laugh. Though telling the story in anything approaching a positive light would probably make Remus rabid. Still, he didn't need to find out about it.
"Well, it started around the end of our fifth year at Hogwarts..."
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Rules to Be Broken - Chapter 1
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"So, you realise this is a terrible idea, right?"
"Of course."
The two men speaking were crouched behind a low hedge, the sky shading into twilight and presenting convenient shadows that helped to hide them from the larger source of artificial light over the rise. Both spoke quietly, though not particularly furtively, despite their positions.
"Though it can't be as bad as 'It', right?"
"You mean 'The Mistake', capital letters, as much punctuation as you care to use?"
"That's the one."
"Certainly not as bad as that then. Though it probably isn't a good sign when neither Remus or Peter are willing to go along."
Both black-haired heads took a moment to peer over the hedge, taking in the surrounding country side and more importantly their target for the evening. A rather large gathering of well-dressed individuals stood in the shimmering pattern of shadow and amplified moonlight that illuminated most of the well-catered affair, mostly broken up into small groups of four or five that had airs of importance that could be felt from the two men's position.
"Well, to be fair, while it is damn funny when we do it with the Muggle version, having the actual Control of Magical Creatures Department called on him would probably be a bit less amusing for our friend with the furry problem."
"And if anyone was going to do it, it would be Narcissa."
"Very true, very true."
"And if we look at the other side of things, Peter is scared spitless of Lucius after that prank in his seventh year went sideways."
"Not one of our better showings. Though to be fair, we were firsties, so you know, there's that."
"So they have their reasons. Back to whether it approaches 'The Mistake' again, I guess-- checklist time?"
One of the two men pulled a small piece of paper out of his dress robes with a small flourish and made a show of adjusting his glasses. This resulted in a scowl from the other, though he then waved his companion on before responding to the question.
"Yeah, I guess. Really takes the fun out of things though, you know."
"Yeah, but we did give our word. And if there is anything we are known for, it is our iron clad promises. Our word is our bond. Sacred are the sounds that come forth from these lips."
"At least when under the threat of dire bodily harm and lasting social impairment with our closest friends."
"Well, of course. It's not a promise without that."
"So, checklist. Any chance of horrific death or brutal maiming for ourselves or the participants?"
"Not that I can see. Well, aside from the usual attempts at retribution."
A glowing green check mark appeared in the air beside the man.
"Right. Are there any standing bloodfeuds, declared or otherwise, involved in this little prank of ours?"
"Not until we're done." The man with the longer (and certainly more well-behaved) hair grinned evilly. "And might I add how unfair that particular clause is?"
"Too true, too true. Still, bodily harm."
"Right."
A second check appeared in the air, this one moving from time to time and occassionally bumping the first check companionably.
"Next question. Any lasting curses, hexes, jinxes or other magical impairment intended for the participants for which we do not have an antidote or counter on our persons or in our heads?"
"May not use magic at all tonight, so I think we're safe there."
"Hmm... good point, that takes the next... six questions off the list. Only a couple more left. Have all Marauders been given a chance to veto the plan and at a minimum abstained, if not demanded to participate therein. If aforementioned Marauders are not the targets of said prank, in which case our revenge shall be swift and sure in coming."
Seven more glowing checks abruptly fell out of nowhere upon the existing two, burying them outright.
"Think we covered that one already, so I'll give it a yes."
"Works for me. Ok, last question. Are we prepared to face the consequences of our actions today without whining and crying like little girls and hounding Remus Lupin for more than a year until he has the choice of either murdering his friends in cold blood or finally accepting their apology."
"Aye."
The pile of checks trembled slightly, causing the young man who had responded to scowl at them.
"You know that isn't the response."
"Oh come on! He's half a continent away from here. There's no way it can work all the way out here."
"It's a magical artifact of significant arcane puissance and we signed a binding magical contract tying us to it. So, yes, he will find out if we ignore it. At least until we figure out how to circumvent it."
"Damn that man and his Arithmancy. How long do I have?"
"Your hair is already starting to get curly. It'll be blond in another thirty seconds."
"Fuck. Alright. 'I, Sirius Orion Black, one of the aforementioned little girls, do solemnly swear that if I have lied on any of these questions I will pout and cry in my room rather than before the puissant and manly presence of my amazing friend who forgave what had better be the stupidest act of my entire life.' I am so reading the checklist next time, you bastard."
"Hah, only if you find it. Alright, we've done our due diligence. We have a party to crash." James slipped the checklist back into his inner robes, cast a quick sealing spell upon the pocket so his best friend didn't get any ideas while they were on the job and slipped out of the bushes and towards the people they would be gracing with their presence tonight.
As the two of them walked towards their target, the small pile of check marks was joined by one final pink checkmark, then the entire bunch exploded into glitter that twirled into a little miniature tornado as it was sucked through a hole in the air and vanished.
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"How many wards does a fucking engagement party need?"
"Apparently seven, pretty sure this is the last one. Okay, do you have Nott's invitation?"
"In my front pocket, take it, I need both hands to keep this Confundus in place. Seriously, this is overkill. You'd think we were trying to assassinate the Minister of Magic."
"Uhh, yeah, about that-- pretty sure I just saw old Baggy at the buffet."
"Really? Damn, we're good."
James grinned at his friend and snatched the crumpled invitation out of Sirius' pocket. With a particularly convoluted wand motion and a muttered spell, the paper started unfolding, though it didn't stop when it should have. Within a minute, a paper tunnel passed through the final ward and Sirius let his hands drop with a relieved sigh.
Staring at the results of his work, James waved his wand carelessly a couple times to assess the wards. Looked good to him, but the proof was in the lack of horrible, exp-- what was he thinking, that thought definitely deserved to be out loud so it could receive the proper adulation it deserved. "Looks good to me, but the proof is in the lack of horrible, explodey doom and ideally none of our insides decorating our outsides."
"Nah, I'm sure Lucius doesn't want spleen all over his pumpkin pasties and guests. At least not until the main event which probably involves sacrificing his first born to a dark god or something."
"Eww, he's spawned?"
"Not yet, so hopefully we should be safe. Could you imagine a mini-Lucy?"
"I'd rather not." Ok, all jokes aside, it might be safer to actually test the results of their spellwork before entrusting his good looks to it. A wave of his wand summoned a rabbit at the paper tunnel's entrance, and it only took a touch of the polished leather loafers he was wearing to its rear to get the animal moving. When it failed to spontaneously combust, he took it as a good sign.
Sirius apparently had the same thought, because he said, "Alright, let's go. It's as safe as it's going to get." Ducking through the paper tunnel, he put actions to words and James followed him quickly. Turning back afterwards, he cast a quick Disillusionment spell on the tunnel to hide it and then conjured a pumpkin pastie and dropped it in front of their escape route. Hopefully the house elves keeping the party clean wouldn't be coming out quite this far.
Turning back to the party, he had to admit that the Malfoys knew what they were doing when it came to making an impression. Though the party was open air, chandeliers dotted the sky in bejewelled magnificense, the floor gleamed with pale marble, and the servers were all Veela. He and Sirius both took several minutes to appreciate that particular facet of this expedition.
His friend finally said, "You know. Lucius Malfoy is an evil, degenerate prick. But the guy knows how to do it with style."
"Can't really argue with that, Padfoot. Damn, look at that redhead."
An abrupt smack to the back of his head staggered him and he scowled over at his black-haired friend as he rubbed at the spot. The man could have given him a warning at least.
"What are the rules?" Sirius demanded with a grin, his eyes glinting evilly as he raised his hand again.
James pursed his lips, refusing to answer, and ducked another blow his friend leveled at him half-heartedly. He knew he wouldn't be able to connect without getting 'Sirius' now that he was aware of him. He grinned to himself. That said, this was definitely payback for the checklist. Finally though he grimaced and complied. "No redheads, ever, because I am an obsessive fuck whose judgement is not to be trusted around women who can wrap me around their finger and are probably in love with some greasy-haired git anyway.
"Remus seriously needs to pay for the introduction of these 'rules'. He needs at least a few applied to him."
"That's not a bad idea, but what would we even do? Remus must get blitzed at least once a week so he lightens up and stops acting like someone stuck a wand up his butt?"
James gave it some thought. "That has promise. Except that Remus is a mean drunk. I'd rather face him on a full moon without my stag form than at the height of a bender."
"When the hell did you see Remus drunk and why was I not there?"
Waving the question away, the Potter heir said, "I'll tell you later, didn't we come here for a reason?"
"Oh, right. Crashing Cissy's engagement party. Almost forgot about that."
"You say while gulping down her champagne," he quipped, taking a sip of his own drink, lifted from a server as they ambled into the party proper. It prompted a rakish grin and a mimed toast from Sirius. Turning, he scanned the party for the couple of the evening and the likely source of their greatest amusement. He spotted one of the two a moment later and let out a low whistle.
"Wow. You can't hit me for this because she's not a redhead, incidentally, but your cousin is hot." Narcissa was standing casually beside a fountain, a champagne flute in one hand while the other crossed under the pleasant expanse of her breasts and held the elbow of her drink hand. Her hair cascaded down her back in a shimmering platinum waterfall and the dress she was wearing hugged curves that were, well, stunning. "Was she that good looking when we were in school together? I'm not sure that can be natural."
Sirius glanced over his cousin and said, "Not that I paid much attention, since you know, cousin and by definition evil, but no, I don't think she was quite that good looking when she was 17. Then again you were practically still pulling Lily's pigtails when you were 13. I'm pretty sure your balls hadn't even dropped."
Giving his friend a disgusted look, James said, "Not all of us can be attempting to seduce seventh years when they're in their second year of Hogwarts." He gave his friend a malicious smile. "And failing miserably, might I add."
"Shut up, I got to second base."
James snorted. "You don't even know what that means, you nicked it from Ben Stone. If we're translating that to a proper sport, you got hold of the Quaffle-- and then got a bludger to the head. You were in the infirmary for three days."
"So worth it though." Sirius grinned. "Anyway, that does give me an idea for an absolutely brilliant prank though."
"Lucius getting a bludger to the head? Not too subtle, Padfoot."
"Shut up, Prongs. No, the seducing older women part." He gestured with his head towards Narcissa, who appeared to be alone with a few older women while her husband to be schmoozed with politicians at the other end of the plaza.
"Hmm... that's kind of brilliant. Don't think Narcissa will go for you though, old boy. She may be a Black, but she seems to have avoided that predilection towards incest that some of your family displays."
"Which is why you're going to be handling the seducing."
"Me? I couldn't seal the deal in five years and you want me to try and pull it off in five hours?"
"Why not? It's not like you need to succeed, the fun part is watching Malfoy go into apoplexy as you attempt to steal his girl right under his eyes." He gave it some thought. "Point of fact, actually succeeding might well violate question one of the checklist. Pretty sure Malfoy would go right through apoplectic and to murderous."
"Point," James acknowledged. "So I just turn on the Potter charm--"
"By which you mean acting like a berk and hoping that she likes 'arrogant toe-rags' more than Lily did given that she's marrying Malfoy?"
Pretending like his friend hadn't said anything, James continued with a slight addendum. "-- (which depends upon supreme self-confidence and in no way resembles acting like a berk) and see about wooing a fair lady." The toe-rag comment didn't even deserve to be acknowledged.
"Anyway, what are you going to be doing while I am distracting your cousin?"
"Oh, I'm sure I'll find something to occupy myself." Sirius grinned again and twirled his wand. "I'll drop by later to give my regards to Cissy. I'm sure she'll be ecstatic about seeing me again."
"No doubt."
Watching as his friend sauntered away towards the food, likely planning to make use of the half dozen different spells that the Marauder's had invented over the years, James turned to look at the belle of this particular ball.
Shrugging, he walked in the general direction of Padfoot's cousin, snagging a couple flutes of champagne in one hand as he got closer. Slowing his pace, he grinned to himself and slid in beside Narcissa from behind just as she was finishing her current drink.
"Another glass, m'lady?"
"Thank you, I can certainly--" Narcissa's eyes narrowed as she caught sight of James and he gave her an insoucient grin that caused her lips to twist ever so slightly. Not an outright break in that passive facade, but close.
Thinning her lips and smoothing her expressiom, Narcissa said, "I do not recall the Potters being on the guest list for this party-- James, wasn't it?"
"I do bear the honor of holding that name. As to the list, well... I am here, aren't I? Surely, that says something given the very impressive security at this little gala."
"Says something like 'You should have hired the goblins', perhaps?" Narcissa interjected, an eyebrow raised slightly.
James grinned, wagging his owm eyebrows. He had always liked his eyebrows, very expressive in his opinion though perhaps not quite so elegantly succinct as Narcissa's. The cool tone and ice queen facade sent shivers down his spine-- though they certainly weren't from the cold. "It might at that. Sirius did say you had a rather quick tongue. He didn't mention it was clever as well."
"Oh, I hardly think you've been exposed to enough of my wit to judge whether it is clever or not." Narcissa said dismissively. Still, he thought she was a little pleased. Her eyes were a bit brighter than when the conversation had begun and he suspected that Malfoy wasn't the type to compliment her mind rather than her body.
Though to be fair, her beauty did deserve odes sung about it. He rather thought he'd avoid that though-- that had been one of his more disastrous attempts at wooing Lily. Well, several really. He was something of a slow learner on the social front.
Turning his attention back to Narcissa, he just barely caughter her follow up comment.
"Though mention of him does bring up the question of where my wayward cousin has taken himself. I hardly think it likely you've come alone. You were inseperable at Hogwarts."
"Oh, he's around, no doubt re-introducing himself to your lovely family."
"Should I call security then? Last I had heard, Sirius was not on the best of terms with Aunt Walburga."
"Ahh, things aren't quite as strained there as they used to be." Unfortunately, he thought to himself. That had been one unexpected outcome of the Mistake, one of the few positives he supposed though it scarcely felt like that given what utter pricks most of the Blacks were. That probably merited a mention actually. "We're working on it though and feel confident we can restore him to full black sheep status within a year or two."
"Oh?" Another elegantly arched eyebrow distracted James for a moment as it framed the question and he shook himself. He didn't need to get blondes added to the list along with redheads. "Things have been rather quiet from that side of the family. What happened?"
James hesitated for a second, surprised that Narcissa hadn't heard anything at all about it. Apparently Sirius' parents had kept it to themselves despite their quiet approval. The Mistake was hardly his finest moment, but if being an arrogant berk didn't work with women, perhaps a bit of self-deprecation would help to leaven it.
At a minimum, it was a long enough story that it should keep him in Narcissa's presence for long enough that Lucius would notice. If he was lucky, he might even make her laugh. Though telling the story in anything approaching a positive light would probably make Remus rabid. Still, he didn't need to find out about it.
"Well, it started around the end of our fifth year at Hogwarts..."