Ranma ½ Senpai: A Story of Good Friends
- Thread starter The Ero-Sennin
- Start date
You know, I think I figured this out. The last chapter raised a few Mary Sue flags, and with this chapter the alarm bells started blaring. Then it clicked... this is a satire of all those stories that insert Ranma into some other universe and have him steal the spotlight from the main characters while solving everyone's problems, isn't it? Except instead of putting Ranma into another continuity, you're putting an OC into Ranma's continuity. It's almost as if you fancy yourself standing over all of us while wagging your finger and proclaiming "See how you like it when your MC is shoved out of the limelight!"
You are absolutely right!
= = =
Disclaimer: The following is a fan-written parody. Ranma ½ is property of Rumiko Takahashi, Studio Deen, Shogakukan, Viz Media, and Madman Entertainment. Support the official release, okay?
Senpai
A Ranma ½ Story
Chapter 7/?
The kendoka that attempted quite boldly to break a bokken over Akane’s skull, only to suffer one broken over his balls in return, seemed quite uppity for a guy who just lost his reproductive capacity for an indeterminate amount of time. Following the attack, he had been restrained in the school’s infirmary and left to stew in his juices before he was questioned, and it was during that time that his uppityness became quite apparent. He swore, he spat, and he derided anyone who came near him, acting rather arrogant for–again–a dude who had been near castrated by Akane.
It was early in the next morning when the student council of Furinkan High School met outside of the dark hallway outside of the nurse’s office, Katie and Ranma had arrived as one pair, while Nabiki and Akane showed up as another. They had just received the report on the condition of the kendoka, and the fact that despite having a lot to say, who he was and where he came from didn’t appear to be in his vocabulary.
He would not enjoy the process of learning.
“Good grief, I’d say that we didn’t send assassins to knock over other students in my old school, but I literally had to put like five cheerleaders in the hospital when they tried to jump me in the showers after gym,” Katie lamented.
“There weren’t assassins at my old school mostly because it was an all guys school and assassins are generally the bottom bitches of any crew,” Ranma said, “And no one wanted to be the bitch made man. Instead, everyone just fought everyone in the hallways, and in the cafeteria, and in gym, and in class…”
“You went to an all boys school?” Nabiki asked.
“Can we just take a step back and focus on the fact that we’re talking about assassins in school like it’s a normal thing?”
“Temper your exasperation, you’re balls deep in this nonsense,” Nabiki said, “Miss Girls Athletic Committee Chair.”
Katie nodded. “It’s safer to accept it, Akaneko.”
Akane pouted at this, but nodded and folded her arms. “Just when I was getting used to it being peaceful and quiet. So, how do we find out who he is?”
“Nothing a car battery and some leads won’t fix,” Katie said.
“Could we not?” Akane pleaded.
“You’re no fun.” Nabiki said, sticking her tongue out at her sister.
“I’m all kinds of fun but I’d rather not go too far down the hole of unsanitary violence.” Akane finished her plea with a begging smile that made it hard to say no.
Katie and Nabiki both conceded to that, while Ranma recalled something Kodachi said. “Well, he might be from wherever this Saginomiya person is.”
“Asuka Saginomiya?” Nabiki asked. “Oh geez, she would send someone here, wouldn’t she?”
Katie’s face fell. She heard of that particular nutjob before, a rich bitch with a chip on her shoulder and a sense of moral superiority unbecoming of how she openly acted in public or on Instagram. “I’ve heard of her.”
“I haven’t, fill me in,” Ranma said.
“She goes to Kolkhoz Academy, an international school right over on the border with Nakano. Her family runs the school’s administration, you can imagine what kind of power she has over the students and faculty,” Katie explained.
“She’s also Kodachi’s mortal rival,” Nabiki said. “They’ve literally been at it since kindergarten.”
She whipped out her smartphone and loaded a wikipedia page about it. “Their feud is local lore, IRL and online, because it’s literally evolved with social media.”
Nabiki presented the screen of the phone to Ranma and Akane, who both gawked in disbelief at the length of the rivalry.
“She’s a drama queen, plain and simple,” Katie said, “She was in the middle of shit with Misao back when I first moved here. Calling her a prostitute and a call girl, and trying to send her friends to intimidate her at public events.”
“She sounds like a horrible person,” Akane said.
“You have no idea.” Asuka Saginomiya was so wretched, that Katie considered her a turn-off.
Nabiki shook her head. “Now I almost feel sorry for this dope. If he really is one of that Saginomiya’s pets, he’s not long on brains, just misplaced loyalty.”
Katie was amazed. “Well, someone who can ruin a person enough to nearly invoke sympathy from you.”
“Nearly,” Nabiki reminded them. “In the end, he’s just an accessory that she’s tossed aside to make a statement–provided it’s Saginomiya responsible for him.”
“And if he’s not?” Ranma asked.
Nabiki shrugged her shoulders. “Then he’s an even bigger idiot, because the only other school that would take shots at us has no reason to now that Kuno the elder is indisposed.”
“Who?” This was new to Katie, too.
“Mendou Shuutaro!” With Kodachi’s declaration the hallway corridor’s lights came on, illuminating her arrival flanked by several of her butlers. “Heir to the Mendou Zaibatsu, which owns Tomobiki High School and 51% percent of Japan’s property!”
“And principal rival of Kuno,” Nabiki added.
Kodachi nodded. “That is correct! Since the Kendo Nationals two years ago, where my brother swiftly struck him down in the middle school level championships. He has sought revenge and retribution for the humiliation, only to be spurned again and again on the stage of champions!”
“In short, he’s a pretty shitty swordsman,” Nabiki tl;dr’d.
Ranma immediately lost interest, as did Katie. A guy weaker than Kuno wasn’t any fun.
Akane didn’t lose the plot. “But if Kuno’s gone, why is he sending assassins after us?”
Kodachi let out a small laugh. “Let us find out.” She looked to Katie. “Would you mind interrogating the young man, as per your duty as Disciplinary Chair?”
“I got a couple ideas,” Katie said, popping her neck. “Just let me study him a bit.”
“Well, if he was a pet of Saginomiya, then we could check her Instagram. She likes to post a selfie that coincides with someone from her circle getting caught doing something dumb.” Nabiki pointed out, using her phone to go check that lead out.
“And if he is from this Mendou guy?” Ranma asked, curious if she had any info on that.
“Oh, Tomobiki guys are all hard up for that alien girl who looks like a demon.” Nabiki said it offhand. “Just mention Lum Invader and see if the idiot sprouts a massive stiff.”
“That’ll cover the who, I’ll work on finding out the why,” Katie said as she opened the door and walked into the infirmary. “Akaneko, come along.”
Akane gestured to herself. “Me?”
Curious, she followed Katie in. In the room, she found the kendoka strapped firmly to a bed, which was in an upright position. He could hardly move at all, as much for the sake of his injuries as it was to prevent him from attempting to escape. Despite being locked away for the entire day and night, the mysterious assailant was still full of piss and vinegar. “Mongrels!”
“Wan, wan,” Katie said. She rolled her eyes before giving a sharp snort. “How’s it feel being a mongrel’s prisoner? Or that you got stomped by one?”
“Flukes have been known to happen,” the kendoka retorted with an arrogant turn of his nose. “Your birth being a prime example.”
Katie ignored the barb and turned to Akane. “All right Akaneko, I’m gonna explain something that might not make sense. And then I’ll demonstrate it for you.”
“Okay.” Akane said, before glancing at their prisoner. “It won’t do anything to him will it?”
“If all goes well, I won’t need to even hurt him to get him to talk.” Katie reassured the girl.
“As if a mongrel could make me talk.” He muttered with a dark tone.
Katie gave him an even more disdainful look. “Jesus Christ, more people with eighth-grader syndrome. Do you realize how lame you sound, calling me mongrel? Gilgamesh wasn’t real, the Fate version was literally golden garbage, and even with that handicap in your favor you’d never be as intimidating as him.”
He immediately tried to spit at her face, but he could’ve hocked that loogie after saving it up for a week and it wouldn’t have gone any further than the foot of the bed where it landed.
Katie then turned to Akane again. “Now then, that explanation.”
She took a breath to steady herself. “It’s like this: when I fight, I tend to focus more than most people. Normally, this would be bad because you’d tend to miss things. But at some point, my Uncle learned a trick that let him bypass the limiter of sight. Basically, once you get the hang of that trick, you’ll be able to “see” more, as well as hear, smell, taste, and touch more than normal. As well as focusing on things, you’ll be able to also think faster and come to better decisions faster before you could be defeated. It’s hard to describe, but it’s kind of like learning how to fight blind.”
Akane looked thoughtful, had anyone else tried to say that to her, she would have called bullshit. But this was her senpai... “So you’re saying I can learn this?”
“Anyone can, even Nabiki.” Katie said, shrugging her shoulders a little. “It’s just, most people take their eyesight for granted and never ever try to account for times when they can’t see.”
The kouhai looked back at their prisoner. “So how are you going to show me?”
Katie hummed. “First, look me in the eyes and watch them closely.”
Akane did as instructed, watching with deep fascination as she watched the taller girl’s pupils dilated. They kept going and soon Akane wasn’t sure Katie could see anything anymore. She moved to speak but Katie silenced her with a raised hand.
“Don’t, I need to adjust first.” Katie whispered, focusing on her hearing first, bringing it down to levels she could handle. “If you said something there it would’ve been like a bomb going off by my ears.”
Everything was so much sharper, clearer now to Katie. She could hear both Akane and the kendoka’s heart beats, the former tinged with curiosity, the latter seething with anger and hate. She slowly blurred out the room around them until only Akane and their prisoner remained. Idly, she let the scent of Akane filter through her heightened smell and it was like a field after a spring rain, so vibrant and full of life.
“Senpai?” Akane murmured, the timber of her voice showing off the full range of emotions. From concern and curiosity to friendly affection and warmth.
“It’s fine, I’m just focusing and filtering everything.” Katie said, turning away from Akane to look at the prisoner. “Trust me, you’ll want to get good at speed focus or else you’ll get to hear someone three blocks over having explosive diarrhea. Not fun.”
“I imagine it wouldn’t.” Akane blanched, shaking her head.
Katie focused on the heartbeat of the kendoka, trying to find out what it could tell her. He was angry, prideful, dismissive and hidden within the contours of the sound was the shame he felt at losing to a girl and losing in general. “Huh, his anger is all bluster to keep from feeling the shame over losing. To a girl.”
He blanched in surprise and jerked his head to deny it.
“You can tell that?” Akane asked, not having expected that.
“From the cadence and pace of his heartbeat. It takes a while to learn what each sound represents but they each have a certain tone.” Katie replied, before she casually answered Akane’s following question. “Before you ask, you’re excited, curious and anxious.”
Akane nodded. “That’s amazing.”
The kendoka began to sweat as he realized the implications.
“There’s other things that I’ll explain after the interrogation.” Katie said, keeping her focus on the prisoner. “So! Tell me about Lum Invader?”
His pulse slowed and the organ beat with confusion. “Why would I know anything about that stupid thing?”
“Fascinating. It’s just, we thought you were one of Mendou Shuutaro’s fanboys thanks to your kendo ability.” Katie explained.
His heart thudded with offense now, his breath was hot with anger. “As if I’d follow that clown!”
“All right, I believe you.” Katie said, swiftly switching topics. “Man, that leaves that ugly cow Asuka Saginomiya.”
Akane looked at Katie, when she noticed his hands twitch, as if he was about to clench them in to fists. Katie had seen it too, and then nudged Akane. “I mean, her face looks like someone drank some bad milk and puked it back up, upon which the sick grew legs and thought itself a person.”
His eyes widened, his nostrils flared. He strained against his restraints and bared his teeth. All the while, his heart barely picked up pace, though it was tinged with slight anger.
“Impressive show chum, but either you agree with my assessment or you’re faking anger to try and throw me off.” Katie correctly diagnosed. “And a fine gentlemen like you going to that inbred factory of Kolkhoz?”
Now he was pissed, his heart rate jumped to a significant amount.
“I see, not a pet, a patriot. Doing good work for the glory of his school.” Katie said, tsking a little. “Or I’m sure that’s how she sold you on it. I mean, your school is still smarting after that incident where the Golden Pair got crippled right?”
His heart was thundering with anger, his breath was thick with fury. His pupils dilated and if he could, he would have torn himself from the bed at that very moment.
“Tell me friend, how much did it take to buy you? What did you sell your pride as a martial artist for? Did she smile at you? Promise to go out with you? Even… hold your hand in public?” Katie really laid into him.
“How lewd.” Akane murmured.
Outwardly, he calmed his thrashing, but he couldn’t cool his heart’s raging. The insults had been too great. Trained though he had been to still his tongue, the rest of him was entirely too mouthy.
“You’re sweating a lot pal.” Katie said calmly, stretching her arms over her head. “You’re about to lie to me aren’t you?”
His heart finally slowed, not through calming down but fear. Could she read his mind?
“Let me read you the facts brother man.” Katie said, taking a breath. “We’re going to find out who you are. The school you go to is about to get its shit pushed in because if you’re an indicator of the talent there, this war you’ve taken upon yourself to start is going to be very, very short. Because, my guy, you lost to my cute little kouhai here. And her job is to train the bodies of the students here at Furinkan high, turning them into better people for the future of our nature. She’s still a nice girl deep down, even pleading on your behalf to spare you extreme torture. And you lost to her, completely.”
She breathed out a hot breath, her eyes burning with the madness of battle. “Me? I’m the big bad wolf who hunts down those who act a fool within our grounds. I’m the Disciplinary Committee Chair bro, which means I can punish you however I want and there’s not a goddamn thing you or your parent’s money can do about it. I am very much the definition of not nice.”
Katie closed in, her face ever so close so the boy could feel the heat of her blood.
“Now you have two options: You can tell me all I need to know, from nouns on down and we might be tempted to show you mercy. That’s not up to me but maybe you can convince me to be your attorney. Or you can lie to me and we can march to the school you decided to martyr yourself for and bust heads until we get the person behind you. Now you get to choose.” She bared her teeth and growled.
“And please. Lie to me. I’m begging you to.”
How quickly bravado goes out the window when you’re tied to a bed and staring into the eyes of a bloodthirsty monster that could apparently read your thoughts. Opening his mouth, the only thing that could tumble forth was the unfettered truth. “I’ll talk, I’ll talk!”
Akane could only watch in muted awe at the shift that had happened to the guy who was so obstinate yesterday. He was sobbing, actual tears and snot from his nose! “The truth is… the truth is that I was sent by both Mendou and Asuka-sama!”
Katie stopped and cocked an eyebrow. “Both?”
“Mendou and Asuka-sama both decided after Kuno was defeated, that they would try to spread their influence and turn his student body against him. Mendou would win over Furinkan’s girls, and Saginomiya would woo the boys… but then Kodachi swept in from nowhere and took her brother’s place. No one saw it coming, and Asuka-sama is especially furious… so she forged an outright alliance with Mendou to take Kodachi down.”
Katie sighed. “It’s really is Tillamook High School all over again. Oh well, at least I have real friends on my side this time.”
“I was thinking that this was just Kill la Kill without the fancy-” Akane stopped and looked down at her Hugo Boss school uniform. “-Without the magical school uniforms.”
Katie shrugged her shoulders. “I dunno, I bet with enough money we could make a Goku or two.
But that was neither here nor there, as she leaned down over the kendoka. “Anyway fuckboi, thank you for be so forthcoming with your information. As a reward, you won’t get beaten up anymore than you already have been, but you will be dumped in front of your school in just your underwear.”
Katie pulled out a permanent marker. “So your classmates can get the message.”
And that was how a seventeen year old boy wound up tossed onto the front lawn of Tomobiki High School with “I started trouble at Furinkan High School and all I got was my ass kicked and my clothes taken” written in quite legible and accurate kanji for the work of a foreigner.
Suffice to say, when word got out, forces began to mobilize. Three schools were about to have a good ol’ fashioned gang war.
Nabiki and Akane were walking home from school, the latter going over what she had learned about from Katie. A way to see beyond the norm, to notice that which is filtered away for our safety. Her senpai made it look so easy but there’s no way it could be. Just focusing? There had to be more to it.
The opportunity was there for her to learn it, and become as strong as her. Tomorrow, she was definitely going to ask her more about it, and find out what it exactly took to gain that ability.
Nabiki was going over the raw numbers for the school war to come, with update coming from spies that had been dispatched into the territory of their enemies. Unlike those two pompous asses, Furinkan was going to fight this war on their terms.
Which started with determining what could reasonably be brought forth by their opponents. Kolkhoz was well known for its incredible array of clubs and its own notable student council, whereas Tomobiki’s reputation as a school full of powerful women preceded itself and some weird magical alien shit that came with being the only school on the planet that aliens went to.
Outside of the Student Council, Furinkan didn’t have much going for it in War Potential, so maybe some mystical magical bullshit would be needed before they got the boys out of their diapers and into their big boy pants. Luckily, they had money and friends in high places.
All Nabiki knew, was that if they did get Goku uniforms, she was calling dibs on Nonon’s. She might be the Inumuta of the group but she needed missiles and such more than Akane did. Plus giving Akane invisibility sounded like a recipe for hilarity.
“How are things looking?” Akane asked, deciding to take her mind off the technique and put it on the battle to come.
“Well it looks like we’ve got parity in forces through just the Student Council alone.” Nabiki said, going through the info on a tablet. “But that’s with only our cursory information. By tonight I should have more numbers to crunch. And by tomorrow I’ll be able to tell you how we’re gonna win and what our projected cost for it will be.”
“How is any of this legal?” Akane grumbled.
“I wish I could tell you but it seems like we’re entering a new age of lawlessness here.” Nabiki said, shrugging without a shred of sympathy. “Focus less on how you should be in jail for stuff like kidnapping and torturing students, and more on how you’re going to kick all their asses.”
“I suppose.” Akane pouted. “It was amazing though, Katie-senpai made him talk without even torturing him.”
That was news. “I had thought she just described how she ate her dinner still alive, smashing the bones apart and savoring the marrow.” Nabiki said with a little bit of sass. She was still irritable from all that stuff during their lessons.
“That’s gross Nabiki, seriously!” Akane made a face, before she decided to question Nabiki’s seemingly unending hate-on for Katie. “Look, what is your deal? All you do is snip and snarl about her and it doesn’t make sense.”
Nabiki rolled her eyes. “It’s nothing you could ever hope to understand.”
This would be one of the rare times Nabiki would be wrong. There was a little something there that Akane could just make out.
Akane furrowed her brow. “I know it’s not Kuno and your business has rebounded considerably, especially now that Kodachi-san is paying you a fat bonus for being on the Council in the first place.”
Her eyes narrowed before they shot wide as a thought occurred to her. “No way!”
“What?” Nabiki asked, baffled by her sister’s sudden shift from annoyed to teasing.
“Nothing~” Akane said, skipping ahead towards home.
“Damn it Akane, I’m going to cut your hair if you don’t answer me.” Nabiki was actually irritated by this whole thing.
“You can try but I’ll shave you bald!” Akane retorted in that silly sing-song she always used when she thought she knew something Nabiki didn’t.
“I’ll shave you bald first!” Nabiki said, chasing after her little sister.
It was an almost idyllic scene of child-like innocence, one that came to a halt when they found their father out on the porch having a smoke. Akane skidded to a halt, with Nabiki coming to a stop behind her.
“Oh, hello girls!” He greeted them kindly. “Kasumi’s almost got dinner ready.”
Whatever invisible quarrel they were having got shunted to the back burner as they realized that there was important things to discuss. Mainly to do with the building gathering dust in the background. Now that Kodachi’s plan to turn boys to men was in full effect, Akane and Nabiki had to pony up their end of the operation.
“Daddy.” Nabiki said, taking the lead as she swiped some screens on her tablet. “We need to talk.”
“Talk?” Soun asked, somewhat confused.
“About reopening the dojo. You see, the money left to us from mom is going to run out sooner than later, and with us girls getting older and turning our attentions towards college, and your friend moving in, there’s a lot of expenses mounting up.” Nabiki said, switching over from the war data to their financial data. She flipped the tablet around and showed a chart to her father that projected how much longer they could go on like this.
“We’re running out of money that quickly?” Soun mumbled, having thought that the nest egg would last until Ranma married one of his daughters and then money would rain from the sky or whatever the hell he expected that to do.
“Well, in the few days that he’s been here, Kasumi’s already had to double the amount of money she spends on groceries.” Nabiki went on. “He eats more than all three of us combined three times a day.”
“I didn’t know one person could eat that much,” Akane said with a slightly haunted voice.
“… So you want me to open up the dojo?” That sounded like work, work that he’d gotten so used to not doing.
“Yeah, it’s pretty much a no-brainer solution to any and all of our financial issues. Get off your duff and do some work, Daddy,” Nabiki rather harshly demanded.
“But aren’t you girls earning money?” Soun argued.
“Yeah but that’s our money and we’ll spend it on us.” Nabiki shot back. “Okay, let’s just go down this path: Akane and I can afford to keep eating, alongside Kasumi. You two can devour the rest of mom’s money and then starve.”
“You have to contribute Daddy, you’ve had ten years.” Akane said gently, being the good cop. “Mommy will be disappointed in you if you keep this up.”
Soun turned white at the idea of disappointing his wife.
“We’ll make it easy on you.” Nabiki said, crossing her arms. “We got a whole bunch of students who want to train lined up for you, so you don’t even have to worry about advertising. All you have to do is show that you can actually teach people how to fight. If Genma’s gonna stay any longer, then he’s gotta train people, too.”
Soun opened his mouth to protest.
“Did you know I can sell the dojo to the bank by proving you haven’t trained anyone for the last five years, declaring you a negligent owner?” Nabiki asked sweetly.
“We’ve talked it over with Kasumi, too.” Akane added. “She’s ready to not give you dinner if you waffle on this any further.”
Soun pitifully closed his mouth.
“That’s all right, we still love you, we just need to make sure our family stays solvent for the future.” Akane said, soothing his pride. “What kind of family are we to put the burden on Ranma alone for our salvation? That’s not fair to him or us.”
“You’re right.” Soun looked at the burned down cigarette and snuffed it out. “I got some thinking to do.”
His daughters nodded, which allowed him to slink away.
“That went well.” Akane said, looking to Nabiki.
“Told you, we just have to be firm with him.” Nabiki retorted with an exasperated eye roll.
It was around here someone cleared their throat, garnering the sisters’ attention.
“Excuse me,” a man said, looking like the King of Diamonds on a deck of playing cards. “I’m the Gambling King and I’m looking for Nabiki Tendo in regards to a spot of business.”
Akane and Nabiki shared a look before turning back to the gently smiling interloper.
= = =
Disclaimer: The following is a fan-written parody. Ranma ½ is property of Rumiko Takahashi, Studio Deen, Shogakukan, Viz Media, and Madman Entertainment. Support the official release, okay?
Senpai
A Ranma ½ Story
Chapter 7/?
|Romance of the Three Kingdoms|
The kendoka that attempted quite boldly to break a bokken over Akane’s skull, only to suffer one broken over his balls in return, seemed quite uppity for a guy who just lost his reproductive capacity for an indeterminate amount of time. Following the attack, he had been restrained in the school’s infirmary and left to stew in his juices before he was questioned, and it was during that time that his uppityness became quite apparent. He swore, he spat, and he derided anyone who came near him, acting rather arrogant for–again–a dude who had been near castrated by Akane.
It was early in the next morning when the student council of Furinkan High School met outside of the dark hallway outside of the nurse’s office, Katie and Ranma had arrived as one pair, while Nabiki and Akane showed up as another. They had just received the report on the condition of the kendoka, and the fact that despite having a lot to say, who he was and where he came from didn’t appear to be in his vocabulary.
He would not enjoy the process of learning.
“Good grief, I’d say that we didn’t send assassins to knock over other students in my old school, but I literally had to put like five cheerleaders in the hospital when they tried to jump me in the showers after gym,” Katie lamented.
“There weren’t assassins at my old school mostly because it was an all guys school and assassins are generally the bottom bitches of any crew,” Ranma said, “And no one wanted to be the bitch made man. Instead, everyone just fought everyone in the hallways, and in the cafeteria, and in gym, and in class…”
“You went to an all boys school?” Nabiki asked.
“Can we just take a step back and focus on the fact that we’re talking about assassins in school like it’s a normal thing?”
“Temper your exasperation, you’re balls deep in this nonsense,” Nabiki said, “Miss Girls Athletic Committee Chair.”
Katie nodded. “It’s safer to accept it, Akaneko.”
Akane pouted at this, but nodded and folded her arms. “Just when I was getting used to it being peaceful and quiet. So, how do we find out who he is?”
“Nothing a car battery and some leads won’t fix,” Katie said.
“Could we not?” Akane pleaded.
“You’re no fun.” Nabiki said, sticking her tongue out at her sister.
“I’m all kinds of fun but I’d rather not go too far down the hole of unsanitary violence.” Akane finished her plea with a begging smile that made it hard to say no.
Katie and Nabiki both conceded to that, while Ranma recalled something Kodachi said. “Well, he might be from wherever this Saginomiya person is.”
“Asuka Saginomiya?” Nabiki asked. “Oh geez, she would send someone here, wouldn’t she?”
Katie’s face fell. She heard of that particular nutjob before, a rich bitch with a chip on her shoulder and a sense of moral superiority unbecoming of how she openly acted in public or on Instagram. “I’ve heard of her.”
“I haven’t, fill me in,” Ranma said.
“She goes to Kolkhoz Academy, an international school right over on the border with Nakano. Her family runs the school’s administration, you can imagine what kind of power she has over the students and faculty,” Katie explained.
“She’s also Kodachi’s mortal rival,” Nabiki said. “They’ve literally been at it since kindergarten.”
She whipped out her smartphone and loaded a wikipedia page about it. “Their feud is local lore, IRL and online, because it’s literally evolved with social media.”
Nabiki presented the screen of the phone to Ranma and Akane, who both gawked in disbelief at the length of the rivalry.
“She’s a drama queen, plain and simple,” Katie said, “She was in the middle of shit with Misao back when I first moved here. Calling her a prostitute and a call girl, and trying to send her friends to intimidate her at public events.”
“She sounds like a horrible person,” Akane said.
“You have no idea.” Asuka Saginomiya was so wretched, that Katie considered her a turn-off.
Nabiki shook her head. “Now I almost feel sorry for this dope. If he really is one of that Saginomiya’s pets, he’s not long on brains, just misplaced loyalty.”
Katie was amazed. “Well, someone who can ruin a person enough to nearly invoke sympathy from you.”
“Nearly,” Nabiki reminded them. “In the end, he’s just an accessory that she’s tossed aside to make a statement–provided it’s Saginomiya responsible for him.”
“And if he’s not?” Ranma asked.
Nabiki shrugged her shoulders. “Then he’s an even bigger idiot, because the only other school that would take shots at us has no reason to now that Kuno the elder is indisposed.”
“Who?” This was new to Katie, too.
“Mendou Shuutaro!” With Kodachi’s declaration the hallway corridor’s lights came on, illuminating her arrival flanked by several of her butlers. “Heir to the Mendou Zaibatsu, which owns Tomobiki High School and 51% percent of Japan’s property!”
“And principal rival of Kuno,” Nabiki added.
Kodachi nodded. “That is correct! Since the Kendo Nationals two years ago, where my brother swiftly struck him down in the middle school level championships. He has sought revenge and retribution for the humiliation, only to be spurned again and again on the stage of champions!”
“In short, he’s a pretty shitty swordsman,” Nabiki tl;dr’d.
Ranma immediately lost interest, as did Katie. A guy weaker than Kuno wasn’t any fun.
Akane didn’t lose the plot. “But if Kuno’s gone, why is he sending assassins after us?”
Kodachi let out a small laugh. “Let us find out.” She looked to Katie. “Would you mind interrogating the young man, as per your duty as Disciplinary Chair?”
“I got a couple ideas,” Katie said, popping her neck. “Just let me study him a bit.”
“Well, if he was a pet of Saginomiya, then we could check her Instagram. She likes to post a selfie that coincides with someone from her circle getting caught doing something dumb.” Nabiki pointed out, using her phone to go check that lead out.
“And if he is from this Mendou guy?” Ranma asked, curious if she had any info on that.
“Oh, Tomobiki guys are all hard up for that alien girl who looks like a demon.” Nabiki said it offhand. “Just mention Lum Invader and see if the idiot sprouts a massive stiff.”
“That’ll cover the who, I’ll work on finding out the why,” Katie said as she opened the door and walked into the infirmary. “Akaneko, come along.”
Akane gestured to herself. “Me?”
Curious, she followed Katie in. In the room, she found the kendoka strapped firmly to a bed, which was in an upright position. He could hardly move at all, as much for the sake of his injuries as it was to prevent him from attempting to escape. Despite being locked away for the entire day and night, the mysterious assailant was still full of piss and vinegar. “Mongrels!”
“Wan, wan,” Katie said. She rolled her eyes before giving a sharp snort. “How’s it feel being a mongrel’s prisoner? Or that you got stomped by one?”
“Flukes have been known to happen,” the kendoka retorted with an arrogant turn of his nose. “Your birth being a prime example.”
Katie ignored the barb and turned to Akane. “All right Akaneko, I’m gonna explain something that might not make sense. And then I’ll demonstrate it for you.”
“Okay.” Akane said, before glancing at their prisoner. “It won’t do anything to him will it?”
“If all goes well, I won’t need to even hurt him to get him to talk.” Katie reassured the girl.
“As if a mongrel could make me talk.” He muttered with a dark tone.
Katie gave him an even more disdainful look. “Jesus Christ, more people with eighth-grader syndrome. Do you realize how lame you sound, calling me mongrel? Gilgamesh wasn’t real, the Fate version was literally golden garbage, and even with that handicap in your favor you’d never be as intimidating as him.”
He immediately tried to spit at her face, but he could’ve hocked that loogie after saving it up for a week and it wouldn’t have gone any further than the foot of the bed where it landed.
Katie then turned to Akane again. “Now then, that explanation.”
She took a breath to steady herself. “It’s like this: when I fight, I tend to focus more than most people. Normally, this would be bad because you’d tend to miss things. But at some point, my Uncle learned a trick that let him bypass the limiter of sight. Basically, once you get the hang of that trick, you’ll be able to “see” more, as well as hear, smell, taste, and touch more than normal. As well as focusing on things, you’ll be able to also think faster and come to better decisions faster before you could be defeated. It’s hard to describe, but it’s kind of like learning how to fight blind.”
Akane looked thoughtful, had anyone else tried to say that to her, she would have called bullshit. But this was her senpai... “So you’re saying I can learn this?”
“Anyone can, even Nabiki.” Katie said, shrugging her shoulders a little. “It’s just, most people take their eyesight for granted and never ever try to account for times when they can’t see.”
The kouhai looked back at their prisoner. “So how are you going to show me?”
Katie hummed. “First, look me in the eyes and watch them closely.”
Akane did as instructed, watching with deep fascination as she watched the taller girl’s pupils dilated. They kept going and soon Akane wasn’t sure Katie could see anything anymore. She moved to speak but Katie silenced her with a raised hand.
“Don’t, I need to adjust first.” Katie whispered, focusing on her hearing first, bringing it down to levels she could handle. “If you said something there it would’ve been like a bomb going off by my ears.”
Everything was so much sharper, clearer now to Katie. She could hear both Akane and the kendoka’s heart beats, the former tinged with curiosity, the latter seething with anger and hate. She slowly blurred out the room around them until only Akane and their prisoner remained. Idly, she let the scent of Akane filter through her heightened smell and it was like a field after a spring rain, so vibrant and full of life.
“Senpai?” Akane murmured, the timber of her voice showing off the full range of emotions. From concern and curiosity to friendly affection and warmth.
“It’s fine, I’m just focusing and filtering everything.” Katie said, turning away from Akane to look at the prisoner. “Trust me, you’ll want to get good at speed focus or else you’ll get to hear someone three blocks over having explosive diarrhea. Not fun.”
“I imagine it wouldn’t.” Akane blanched, shaking her head.
Katie focused on the heartbeat of the kendoka, trying to find out what it could tell her. He was angry, prideful, dismissive and hidden within the contours of the sound was the shame he felt at losing to a girl and losing in general. “Huh, his anger is all bluster to keep from feeling the shame over losing. To a girl.”
He blanched in surprise and jerked his head to deny it.
“You can tell that?” Akane asked, not having expected that.
“From the cadence and pace of his heartbeat. It takes a while to learn what each sound represents but they each have a certain tone.” Katie replied, before she casually answered Akane’s following question. “Before you ask, you’re excited, curious and anxious.”
Akane nodded. “That’s amazing.”
The kendoka began to sweat as he realized the implications.
“There’s other things that I’ll explain after the interrogation.” Katie said, keeping her focus on the prisoner. “So! Tell me about Lum Invader?”
His pulse slowed and the organ beat with confusion. “Why would I know anything about that stupid thing?”
“Fascinating. It’s just, we thought you were one of Mendou Shuutaro’s fanboys thanks to your kendo ability.” Katie explained.
His heart thudded with offense now, his breath was hot with anger. “As if I’d follow that clown!”
“All right, I believe you.” Katie said, swiftly switching topics. “Man, that leaves that ugly cow Asuka Saginomiya.”
Akane looked at Katie, when she noticed his hands twitch, as if he was about to clench them in to fists. Katie had seen it too, and then nudged Akane. “I mean, her face looks like someone drank some bad milk and puked it back up, upon which the sick grew legs and thought itself a person.”
His eyes widened, his nostrils flared. He strained against his restraints and bared his teeth. All the while, his heart barely picked up pace, though it was tinged with slight anger.
“Impressive show chum, but either you agree with my assessment or you’re faking anger to try and throw me off.” Katie correctly diagnosed. “And a fine gentlemen like you going to that inbred factory of Kolkhoz?”
Now he was pissed, his heart rate jumped to a significant amount.
“I see, not a pet, a patriot. Doing good work for the glory of his school.” Katie said, tsking a little. “Or I’m sure that’s how she sold you on it. I mean, your school is still smarting after that incident where the Golden Pair got crippled right?”
His heart was thundering with anger, his breath was thick with fury. His pupils dilated and if he could, he would have torn himself from the bed at that very moment.
“Tell me friend, how much did it take to buy you? What did you sell your pride as a martial artist for? Did she smile at you? Promise to go out with you? Even… hold your hand in public?” Katie really laid into him.
“How lewd.” Akane murmured.
Outwardly, he calmed his thrashing, but he couldn’t cool his heart’s raging. The insults had been too great. Trained though he had been to still his tongue, the rest of him was entirely too mouthy.
“You’re sweating a lot pal.” Katie said calmly, stretching her arms over her head. “You’re about to lie to me aren’t you?”
His heart finally slowed, not through calming down but fear. Could she read his mind?
“Let me read you the facts brother man.” Katie said, taking a breath. “We’re going to find out who you are. The school you go to is about to get its shit pushed in because if you’re an indicator of the talent there, this war you’ve taken upon yourself to start is going to be very, very short. Because, my guy, you lost to my cute little kouhai here. And her job is to train the bodies of the students here at Furinkan high, turning them into better people for the future of our nature. She’s still a nice girl deep down, even pleading on your behalf to spare you extreme torture. And you lost to her, completely.”
She breathed out a hot breath, her eyes burning with the madness of battle. “Me? I’m the big bad wolf who hunts down those who act a fool within our grounds. I’m the Disciplinary Committee Chair bro, which means I can punish you however I want and there’s not a goddamn thing you or your parent’s money can do about it. I am very much the definition of not nice.”
Katie closed in, her face ever so close so the boy could feel the heat of her blood.
“Now you have two options: You can tell me all I need to know, from nouns on down and we might be tempted to show you mercy. That’s not up to me but maybe you can convince me to be your attorney. Or you can lie to me and we can march to the school you decided to martyr yourself for and bust heads until we get the person behind you. Now you get to choose.” She bared her teeth and growled.
“And please. Lie to me. I’m begging you to.”
How quickly bravado goes out the window when you’re tied to a bed and staring into the eyes of a bloodthirsty monster that could apparently read your thoughts. Opening his mouth, the only thing that could tumble forth was the unfettered truth. “I’ll talk, I’ll talk!”
Akane could only watch in muted awe at the shift that had happened to the guy who was so obstinate yesterday. He was sobbing, actual tears and snot from his nose! “The truth is… the truth is that I was sent by both Mendou and Asuka-sama!”
Katie stopped and cocked an eyebrow. “Both?”
“Mendou and Asuka-sama both decided after Kuno was defeated, that they would try to spread their influence and turn his student body against him. Mendou would win over Furinkan’s girls, and Saginomiya would woo the boys… but then Kodachi swept in from nowhere and took her brother’s place. No one saw it coming, and Asuka-sama is especially furious… so she forged an outright alliance with Mendou to take Kodachi down.”
Katie sighed. “It’s really is Tillamook High School all over again. Oh well, at least I have real friends on my side this time.”
“I was thinking that this was just Kill la Kill without the fancy-” Akane stopped and looked down at her Hugo Boss school uniform. “-Without the magical school uniforms.”
Katie shrugged her shoulders. “I dunno, I bet with enough money we could make a Goku or two.
But that was neither here nor there, as she leaned down over the kendoka. “Anyway fuckboi, thank you for be so forthcoming with your information. As a reward, you won’t get beaten up anymore than you already have been, but you will be dumped in front of your school in just your underwear.”
Katie pulled out a permanent marker. “So your classmates can get the message.”
And that was how a seventeen year old boy wound up tossed onto the front lawn of Tomobiki High School with “I started trouble at Furinkan High School and all I got was my ass kicked and my clothes taken” written in quite legible and accurate kanji for the work of a foreigner.
Suffice to say, when word got out, forces began to mobilize. Three schools were about to have a good ol’ fashioned gang war.
|Open the Dojo. Stop having it be closed.|
Nabiki and Akane were walking home from school, the latter going over what she had learned about from Katie. A way to see beyond the norm, to notice that which is filtered away for our safety. Her senpai made it look so easy but there’s no way it could be. Just focusing? There had to be more to it.
The opportunity was there for her to learn it, and become as strong as her. Tomorrow, she was definitely going to ask her more about it, and find out what it exactly took to gain that ability.
Nabiki was going over the raw numbers for the school war to come, with update coming from spies that had been dispatched into the territory of their enemies. Unlike those two pompous asses, Furinkan was going to fight this war on their terms.
Which started with determining what could reasonably be brought forth by their opponents. Kolkhoz was well known for its incredible array of clubs and its own notable student council, whereas Tomobiki’s reputation as a school full of powerful women preceded itself and some weird magical alien shit that came with being the only school on the planet that aliens went to.
Outside of the Student Council, Furinkan didn’t have much going for it in War Potential, so maybe some mystical magical bullshit would be needed before they got the boys out of their diapers and into their big boy pants. Luckily, they had money and friends in high places.
All Nabiki knew, was that if they did get Goku uniforms, she was calling dibs on Nonon’s. She might be the Inumuta of the group but she needed missiles and such more than Akane did. Plus giving Akane invisibility sounded like a recipe for hilarity.
“How are things looking?” Akane asked, deciding to take her mind off the technique and put it on the battle to come.
“Well it looks like we’ve got parity in forces through just the Student Council alone.” Nabiki said, going through the info on a tablet. “But that’s with only our cursory information. By tonight I should have more numbers to crunch. And by tomorrow I’ll be able to tell you how we’re gonna win and what our projected cost for it will be.”
“How is any of this legal?” Akane grumbled.
“I wish I could tell you but it seems like we’re entering a new age of lawlessness here.” Nabiki said, shrugging without a shred of sympathy. “Focus less on how you should be in jail for stuff like kidnapping and torturing students, and more on how you’re going to kick all their asses.”
“I suppose.” Akane pouted. “It was amazing though, Katie-senpai made him talk without even torturing him.”
That was news. “I had thought she just described how she ate her dinner still alive, smashing the bones apart and savoring the marrow.” Nabiki said with a little bit of sass. She was still irritable from all that stuff during their lessons.
“That’s gross Nabiki, seriously!” Akane made a face, before she decided to question Nabiki’s seemingly unending hate-on for Katie. “Look, what is your deal? All you do is snip and snarl about her and it doesn’t make sense.”
Nabiki rolled her eyes. “It’s nothing you could ever hope to understand.”
This would be one of the rare times Nabiki would be wrong. There was a little something there that Akane could just make out.
Akane furrowed her brow. “I know it’s not Kuno and your business has rebounded considerably, especially now that Kodachi-san is paying you a fat bonus for being on the Council in the first place.”
Her eyes narrowed before they shot wide as a thought occurred to her. “No way!”
“What?” Nabiki asked, baffled by her sister’s sudden shift from annoyed to teasing.
“Nothing~” Akane said, skipping ahead towards home.
“Damn it Akane, I’m going to cut your hair if you don’t answer me.” Nabiki was actually irritated by this whole thing.
“You can try but I’ll shave you bald!” Akane retorted in that silly sing-song she always used when she thought she knew something Nabiki didn’t.
“I’ll shave you bald first!” Nabiki said, chasing after her little sister.
It was an almost idyllic scene of child-like innocence, one that came to a halt when they found their father out on the porch having a smoke. Akane skidded to a halt, with Nabiki coming to a stop behind her.
“Oh, hello girls!” He greeted them kindly. “Kasumi’s almost got dinner ready.”
Whatever invisible quarrel they were having got shunted to the back burner as they realized that there was important things to discuss. Mainly to do with the building gathering dust in the background. Now that Kodachi’s plan to turn boys to men was in full effect, Akane and Nabiki had to pony up their end of the operation.
“Daddy.” Nabiki said, taking the lead as she swiped some screens on her tablet. “We need to talk.”
“Talk?” Soun asked, somewhat confused.
“About reopening the dojo. You see, the money left to us from mom is going to run out sooner than later, and with us girls getting older and turning our attentions towards college, and your friend moving in, there’s a lot of expenses mounting up.” Nabiki said, switching over from the war data to their financial data. She flipped the tablet around and showed a chart to her father that projected how much longer they could go on like this.
“We’re running out of money that quickly?” Soun mumbled, having thought that the nest egg would last until Ranma married one of his daughters and then money would rain from the sky or whatever the hell he expected that to do.
“Well, in the few days that he’s been here, Kasumi’s already had to double the amount of money she spends on groceries.” Nabiki went on. “He eats more than all three of us combined three times a day.”
“I didn’t know one person could eat that much,” Akane said with a slightly haunted voice.
“… So you want me to open up the dojo?” That sounded like work, work that he’d gotten so used to not doing.
“Yeah, it’s pretty much a no-brainer solution to any and all of our financial issues. Get off your duff and do some work, Daddy,” Nabiki rather harshly demanded.
“But aren’t you girls earning money?” Soun argued.
“Yeah but that’s our money and we’ll spend it on us.” Nabiki shot back. “Okay, let’s just go down this path: Akane and I can afford to keep eating, alongside Kasumi. You two can devour the rest of mom’s money and then starve.”
“You have to contribute Daddy, you’ve had ten years.” Akane said gently, being the good cop. “Mommy will be disappointed in you if you keep this up.”
Soun turned white at the idea of disappointing his wife.
“We’ll make it easy on you.” Nabiki said, crossing her arms. “We got a whole bunch of students who want to train lined up for you, so you don’t even have to worry about advertising. All you have to do is show that you can actually teach people how to fight. If Genma’s gonna stay any longer, then he’s gotta train people, too.”
Soun opened his mouth to protest.
“Did you know I can sell the dojo to the bank by proving you haven’t trained anyone for the last five years, declaring you a negligent owner?” Nabiki asked sweetly.
“We’ve talked it over with Kasumi, too.” Akane added. “She’s ready to not give you dinner if you waffle on this any further.”
Soun pitifully closed his mouth.
“That’s all right, we still love you, we just need to make sure our family stays solvent for the future.” Akane said, soothing his pride. “What kind of family are we to put the burden on Ranma alone for our salvation? That’s not fair to him or us.”
“You’re right.” Soun looked at the burned down cigarette and snuffed it out. “I got some thinking to do.”
His daughters nodded, which allowed him to slink away.
“That went well.” Akane said, looking to Nabiki.
“Told you, we just have to be firm with him.” Nabiki retorted with an exasperated eye roll.
It was around here someone cleared their throat, garnering the sisters’ attention.
“Excuse me,” a man said, looking like the King of Diamonds on a deck of playing cards. “I’m the Gambling King and I’m looking for Nabiki Tendo in regards to a spot of business.”
Akane and Nabiki shared a look before turning back to the gently smiling interloper.
|New Lease on Life|
Unfortunately, the rest of the school day was entirely uneventful. Kodachi did announce that in coming days there would be a great storm, but that Furinkan would weather it, there was no overt mentioning of the belligerence from the neighboring schools. But what rubbed Katie a bit raw was the fact that this Gambling King fellow hadn’t shown up quite yet.
It was two days after the phone call so where the hell was he? Did he just assume she refused and ran, therefore he didn’t even need to hear her answer? That would actually annoy her, she wanted to use Heaven against his card skills. Still, even if he didn’t show up, at least she had a full-blown school war to look forward to.
She looked over to Ranma, who walked alongside her back towards her place. In spite of an insistent invitation from Nabiki, Ranma elected to stay a few more nights at the house Darlian, since he actually enjoyed having a night’s sleep and a decent morning not having to deal with his Dad. At this rate, it was only a matter of time before Misao decided to include him on the lease. Which was fine by her, the guy could use a stable roof over his head that didn’t include his old man trying to ruin everything.
Plus he had another perspective on things so it’d help to pick his brain at times. “So Ranma.” She said, deciding to see how he thought of this whole mess that was coming upon them.
“Yeah?” He semi-grunted, having wanted a chance to unwind a bit.
“Nothing too heavy,” Katie said, amused by his response. “Just wanted to hear your thoughts on the impending war. You know, if there was anything you couldn’t say in front of the others because they might be a bit quick to judge.”
“Eh, it’s nothing too heavy to worry about.” Ranma threw a punch to emphasize his point. “I already got some routines worked out for the guys to help keep them safe and improve both their skill and durability. Sometimes, I’d read training manuals on kung fu and stuff like that to pass the time whenever pops wasn’t around.”
Katie let out a noise of wonder. “Ehhh, sounds like you got it all figured out.”
Ranma shrugged. “Well Kolkhoz is a bunch of pampered rich kids so their usable fighters are even less than Furinkan has now, excluding the three of us naturally. Even adding in the mass of morons from Tomobiki, they’re really only loyal to their two generals. All our guys need is to wear ‘em down until they get good and strong from beatin’ on ‘em all day, then we go in and cut the heads off. No Mendou or Saginomiya, no war.”
“You want to turn this into a training thing?” Katie said, smiling a little. “Simple, yet effective.”
At that, the boy chuckled. “Well, I like to look at things like this as how we get the most out of it. I mean, we could wipe them out in less than a day. I don’t know how good Kodachi is, but she’s supposed to be a champion or something? She could probably do it too. But if we do that, then nobody gets a chance to learn anything.”
Huh, that suddenly sounded like something her uncle would say, but in a much more bloodthirsty context.
“I pitched the idea to Nabiki, and she thought it was pretty dang solid. Glad you do, too.”
Katie didn’t voice her opinion on the reason Nabiki caved, because it wasn’t that important and it wasn’t her place to sabotage the girl’s chances. “Well with both of you planning this, we’ve got this even more in the bag.”
“Hey they wanted this war,” Ranma replied casually. “And for that, they’re gonna have a bad time.”
Katie hummed. “The worst time.”
As they reached her place, Katie waved to the landlady of the building and owner of the karaoke bar that her and Misao’s apartment stood over. It was an older woman, who was sitting on a chair outside the doors. “Hey Paz, any signs of creeps?”
“Hey there,” the woman said in a raspy voice, “Not a loser to be found. Tell Misao thanks for fixing the rice cooker, will ya?”
Katie flashed her a smile as she unlocked the door. “Sure.”
“And another thing, next time you decide to ‘move furniture’ in the middle of the night, give a word of warning? I could barely sleep the other night.”
Katie looked aside. “Er… yeah, sorry.”
“Movin’ furniture? Geez, you should’ve woken me up, I would’ve helped.” Ranma then tossed in.
“Oh my God.” Katie said in English, her hand coming over her mouth to smother her laugh as she threw open the door and scurried up the stairs.
Ranma looked over at Paz, who just laughed and reclined on her wooden chair. Suspecting something just flew over his head, he headed upstairs, catching up with Katie–who had just opened the door.
Misao was sitting on the couch, in the middle of recording audio for a video, rather than streaming. “Let’s face it, fam. If people aren’t going to be able to even post video evidence of cheaters and modders without the creators making strikes against their content, then what’s that say about the creators? I’ve already hidden all of my WT content because if this goes over, BansheeDeadSix is going to get blammed for sure again and Google’s Lawyers are a bitch to fight.”
She looked back over at Katie and Ranma, the latter being shushed by the former, and waved before turning back to the mic.
“So that’s it for now. BansheeDeadSix is taking a break from WT until this bullshit gets resolved, if you want to lose your lives in the skies, you can find me in DCS, World of Warplanes, or Ace Combat Infinity. The handle won’t change because I want you to come running, it’s more experience for me. Like, comment, subscribe, always check your six and remember that the number one rule to combat is survive. BansheeDeadSix, over and out.”
She quickly tapped the stop button on her remote, before getting up. “Hey guys, no extracurriculars today?”
“Nope, there’s still a bunch of work to do before that. Even more now that a war’s about to break out,” Katie replied as she loosened the tie of her uniform. “I’m gonna jump in the shower. Paz says thanks for fixing the rice cooker, and that we need to keep it down next time we ‘move furniture’.”
Misao pouted. “That’s entirely your fault, bae.” She looked at Ranma and the pout gave way to a smile. “How’s studying going, Ranma-kun?”
Ranma was confused by the moving furniture thing but pushed it from his mind. “Well, better than my old school, haven’t gotten any homework yet at least.”
Misao pumped a fist in celebration. “Then if you have nothing else to do tonight, you can sit down and record more Undertale with me!”
“Sounds good to me,” Ranma said, rather eager to pick up and play again. “Do you want to do it now?”
Misao chuckled. “Eager aren’t we? How about we get some dinner going first? You know how to cook?”
Ranma nodded. “Yeah, you learn to when you’re out on the road a lot.”
“Then you can make dinner today. I’m dying for something local, but I’m shit at cooking Asian dishes.”
Ranma nodded. “How about some fried shrimp and noodles, then?”
Misao was keen on that idea. “Ooh, that sounds delish.”
With expectations to meet, Ranma rolled up his sleeves and headed into the kitchen. “You know what? Let me handle it, you can sit back, watch, and learn from a master.”
A smile played across Misao’s lips as she followed him into the kitchen and hoisted herself onto the counter that separated the kitchen from the rest of the living room space. “Well, if you insist.”
Ranma Saotome was a smart kid, a little naïve, brilliant in a fight, but short when it came to certain things. Exhibit B. “Well, I couldn’t lend you a hand in your furniture moving the other night cuz I was so tired, so I figured that this would be a good way to make up for it.”
Misao brought a hand to her mouth to stifle a giggle when Ranma said that. “Maybe next time, it could be you and I who moves the furniture.”
Ranma, moving with grace and speed, had quickly assembled the ingredients, and was already heating up the wok. Misao let out a surprised hum, at how quickly he took to prep.
“Wouldn’t it be better if Katie and I moved it with you together?” Ranma asked over his shoulder.
Misao immediately clasped her hands together, as if to pray, and looked away from Ranma while biting her lip to again stifle her laughter. How could a guy his age be so pure? It was adorable!
“Did I say something wrong?” Ranma asked, conscious that she didn’t say anything.
“No, no, it’s fine.” Misao said, smiling to herself. “You’re a really unique guy, you know?”
“That isn’t about the curse is it? Because I could do without that.” Ranma said, checking the temperature of the wok. “Not quite hot enough.”
“So what’s the secret to this kind of dish?” Misao asked, remembering she was supposed to be learning about it. She aimed her phone at him and hit the record button.
“It’s basically have everything you’re going to cook ready because it’s gonna go fast.” Ranma said, gesturing to the wok. “This thing is gonna be smoking hot even before I put the oil in. Beyond that, once I start it’s basically go go go. So get your veggies chopped, sauce made, those kind of things.” Ranma quickly diced up a carrot.
“You got good knife skills.” Misao noted, impressed. “Sure you didn’t intern at a restaurant somewhere?”
“Wouldn’t call it an internship, just that whenever Pop got off my back, I’d sometimes do small work around restaurants and covertly observe the chefs and how they moved. Made katas in my head and practiced them in secret.” Ranma explained, chopping up a spring onion. “Worked pretty well, wouldn’t you say?”
“Definitely.” Misao agreed, just enjoying the sight of this buff young man making her food.
“So, how do you like your spice? I kinda like to cook it in and add some at the end so the heat is present throughout. Might get a bit much and I don’t want you getting sick.” Ranma inquired, checking the shrimp to make sure they were deveined.
“Oh I love it spicy.” Misao giggled. “Katie can be a little stubborn when it comes to the spice, but she generally likes it. Though maybe just let her add hers at the end.”
“Got it.” He answered, making sure his noodles were ready. “So I’ll make ours separate from hers. Which is good, because I can show you how to do it both ways really easily.” He portioned out some of the shrimp for Katie. “Normally I’d put some chili paste or flakes on these before I cooked them. That’d give me the boost to the spice I like because I’ll cook this fast enough spread it through the rest of the dish thanks to the magic of the wok.”
Misao nodded. “I see!.” She watched as he portioned out some of the sauce he made, before adding some hot sauce to the reserved sauce and stirring it in. “So that’s more spice.”
“Yeah, it has to go through out to a degree. Lot of people, like pops, just cook something and dump a glob of hot sauce or pepper flakes on it and call it a day. Which is okay, you got the zip of the spice but it dies quickly as you eat and it’s almost like it was never there.” Ranma explained as he checked the wok. “Okay it’s hot enough. Now, there’s two ways to do this, the normal way which is dump in your shrimp, cook them, followed by your veggies, then your noodles and sauce. You’d push the shrimp to the walls to try and keep them from over cooking, along with anything else that was about done or done. That’s kinda advanced if you know what you’re doing.”
“That’s pretty complex!.” Misao said, watching him add some oil to the wok and swirl it around.
“It is, so you’re going to do this another time like I’m about to do it.” Ranma said, as he brought Katie’s portion of shrimp to the stove. “And that’s going to be to cook it, remove the shrimp, cook everything else, add the shrimp back in before the sauce and toss it all together until it’s done.”
He quickly dumped them in one at a time. “Don’t crowd it, even though it’s very hot, you can cause some spots to not cook if they’re too close together. Also, because this is so hot, this is gonna go real fast so watch them.”
He was already flipping them about 25 seconds after they went down, which showed they had acquired a nice golden brown color.
“Does it need to be that hot?” Misao decided she should ask. For future reference of course.
“Only with a wok, really. If you were to do this is a high sided pan, you’d probably keep the temp down.” Ranma said as he took the shrimp out and rested them on a clean plate. “The high heat, fast cooking is the point. It’s kinda like having a water slide without a water, y’know?”
He checked the heat and then grabbed the cut-up vegetables, quickly adding a single serving portion. “Now, leave it alone for a few seconds before you start futzing with it. Let the heat do its thing before you start poking and tossing and flipping them.” Once the time had passed, Ranma quickly started moving the vegetables about.
“Now you don’t need to do all the fancy stirring and tossing. It does nothing for the flavor but it does give you a slight bit of control. Sometimes the sides are a little too hot and things keep cooking a little too much so you-” He paused his lecture to toss the mixture around. “-give them a toss and let the sheer temperature difference cool them. If you’re gonna toss them, remember to push it away to flick them towards you and pull the wok back to catch them. Easy.” He swept the stuff he didn’t want burning to the edges.
“Tell me about the noodles.” Misao said, guessing they were next.
“Just rice noodles, soaked in water. You could get fatter noodles and fry them up in like a frier if you want. I’ve had that before, delicious.” He said, shaking the water out. “Get as much excess water off them as you can, you don’t want the final dish to be soupy. Plus the sauce gets diluted and loses the flavor you want.”
Satisfied with the lack of excess moisture, Ranma dropped the noodles into the wok. “Now, let them cook for just a bit again, dry them out a bit before you mix them into the vegetables. You want just a little bit of color on the noodles, but not too much. The sauce is going to reinvigorate them, so be mindful.” He waited the appropriate amount of time before stirring and mixing everything.
“Right, before we add our sauce, add back in our shrimp.” He did just that, nestling them in. “Give it a good stir just before you add it, it can get a little loose on you.” He stirred the sauce, making sure Misao and her camera could see. “Now, don’t just dump it in one spot because the wok is still hot. It’ll reduce too fast and you got one spot of deliciousness instead of the whole dish.”
The sauce was poured evenly over the shrimp and noodle mixture. He immediately began folding the sauce in. “This, you don’t want to sit until you just get everything coated. Also, if it looks like you didn’t have enough, just splash on a little more water. Best to have a squirt bottle of it, just in case but this is looking quite nice.” He gave it a few stirs before he dished it out onto a clean plate.
“So do we garnish it?” Misao asked, knowing the answer but keeping the tutorial going. He was really good at this, she couldn’t just end it now.
“Yes, but with what? Add some tops of a spring onion, maybe some fresh herbs.” Ranma said, giving a rough chop to some cilantro. “Does she like cilantro? To some people it tastes like soap.”
“Tacos are one of her favorite dishes, so we keep a lot on hand.” Misao said, giving him the okay.
“Sprinkle it on, not too much in one area.” He finished the garnish. “And then you can add chili sauce, or flakes. Maybe some toasted nori if you like, but it’s done.”
Misao applauded. “Now make ours and we’ll eat.”
Ranma nodded, as he began to cover the shrimp in chili sauce. “Not too much, or it’ll burn.”
He made sure both sides were evenly coated before he wiped the wok clean since it wasn’t on the heat. “Those will basically marinade for the short time it takes for the wok to come back up to temp. Now because of the added chili sauce and increased size, I’m going to go standard. It’ll get done faster plus you’ll have a frame of reference for that method too.”
“Yeah, that’d be good.” Misao said with a nod, which gave her an opportunity to raise her nose and sniffed the air. The kitchen smelled amazing.
“Right, it’s almost heated back up. Since there’s some sugar in the sauce I used on the shrimp, it’s going to look a little darker than usual because the sugars are going to brown and become like a caramel. We don’t need to get the shrimp to doneness, we just need to brown one side, flip, brown the other and then we start adding and adding.” Ranma said, making sure he had everything ready. “It’s gonna seem like a mess but it’ll be worth it. Now it’ll seem almost not worth it because two servings in one wok is almost too much, but I’ll show you the trick.”
Misao leaned in. “Oh do tell.”
“It’s hot, so we put in our oil. Let that get a little smoky and then we add the shrimp.” Ranma quickly added the shrimp, almost crowding the wok. “Now it’s going to seem crazy but crowding it like this is actually going to help us in the cooking of the shrimp. It’ll slow down the browning of the sauce and let a little bit of the moisture evaporating almost steam them through so once we flip them we can almost immediately push them aside.”
He tended the shrimp, making sure they were still cooking. “Now, just be mindful of them but be ready to turn them once it just slows down sizzling... like there!” He swiftly turned the shrimp and began pushing them out to the edges of the wok.
“And now, chaos.” Ranma announced as he dumped in the vegetables. There was a bit more than Katie’s single portion and it was clear they were probably going to dry out and burn without moisture.
“Remember that trick? Shake the excess water from your noodle portions into the wok to create steam and keep the vegetables from drying out. That’s only because there’s two portions and not enough space. Otherwise we wouldn’t do this.” He lectured as he did what he was talking about. Once the noodles were perfect, he dropped them in and began stirring and tossing vigorously. “Normally you’d like them to sit but you need to distribute the shrimp and veggies first. Just keep it moving until the noodles just start to lose that luster from the water and then add your sauce. Most of the excess veggie mass should wilt down nicely before then, which means you just need to cook the sauce until it thickens.”
Misao was taken in by the show he put on, her eyes bouncing up and down as she watched the tossing and stirring the noodle mixture.
Ranma stirred the sauce a short while later, before distributing it around the wok evenly. He quickly began stirring it into the dish, creating a nice sheen to them. “Our sauce is pretty much down so let’s plate them up.” He brought the wok over and dished up two servings on two clean plates. “I’m going to garnish mine with a little chili sauce and some chili flakes. Throw in some spring onion and cilantro. Sound good for yours?”
“God yes,” Misao softly.
He garnished both plates, before he brought them over to the table. He placed one in front of Misao and set his own down. He went and rooted around a drawer, finding a couple pairs of chopsticks left over from take-outs past. “Moment of truth I suppose.” He passed her a pack of chopsticks, before tearing his own open.
“Thanks for the food.” Misao said, opening and breaking apart her chopsticks. While she hadn’t mastered cooking Asian dishes, she was a master when it came to eating them.
“Let me get some noodle, some shrimp and some veggies.” It was all so steamy, glistening with sauce and smelling just fabulous. She blew out the bite she had selected out with her chopsticks, before she popped it all in her mouth.
Immediately she was taken to a spicy, savory heaven that left her swooning as the flavor danced across her tastebuds and directly into the pleasure centers of her brain. “Ohhh my gawd… I can see what you mean by the heat, it’s so good!”
“You gotta cook with it to round it out.” Ranma agreed, digging in himself.
They ate quietly for a few minutes, Ranma showing uncharacteristic restraint.
“Normally you eat so fast.” Misao pointed out, after she had finished chewing and swallowing a mouthful of food.
“Pop can’t handle heat, he almost sweats at a bell pepper.” Ranma explained. “So when I spice it up, he won’t steal it from me and if he does, I’ll get to watch him sweat and cry.”
“Good luck in this household. We got iron stomachs here,” Misao said as she faked darting her chopsticks towards his shrimp.
Ranma easily parried her sticks with his own. “I wish you would,” he joked back, “At my last school, it was kill or be killed when it came to food, and I’m stone cold when it comes to that!”
Misao let out a laugh, and sat back. “So, how was your last school like? You sound like you had a bad time with the teachers.”
“Oh it wasn’t really the teachers themselves, they were just boring.” Ranma said, pausing to think about it. “It didn’t help they had this weird mentality about all of us fighting all the time so a lot of guys ended up in the infirmary for no good reason. Most of them sucked so the brawls weren’t any fun, except this one guy who took it upon himself to declare himself my rival.”
“Do tell,” Misao found herself more intrigued by a bunch of guys getting all hot and sweaty wrestling around. Hmm, to file that one away for another day.
“He was strong as hell and durable to boot. He could take a beating better than any other boy.” Ranma shook his head. “Sadly, he couldn’t find his way unless you physically dragged him to places. Directions were absolutely useless on the guy.”
“That poor guy.” Misao said, feeling sorry for someone who could literally get lost going in a straight line.
“I didn’t get why he was always dramatic about stuff, but it made sense after a bit of thinking.” Ranma shook his head as he continued to eat. “If I got hungry and had some pocket money, I could find a store to buy something. He could start at the front door of the store and be somewhere else about five steps in. It was uncanny how he could get lost.”
Misao could only ruefully shake her head. “This world is so messed up man.”
It was around here Ranma finally realized he was having dinner with his very cute and very attractive boss lady and suddenly he felt a little self conscious about things. He flushed a little as he looked across the table and found her adorable even as she continued to tuck into the food provided. God he was going to become a pervert at this rate.
Luckily, Katie showed up to save him from himself, towelling off her hair after her shower. “Hey, you should have said something about dinner being now and not later.”
“It was kind of a quick decision,” Ranma said, before handing her the plate of still hot shrimp and noodles.
“Hey, good deal.” Katie said, going over to put the final touches on the dish. “You didn’t add anything spicy to it?”
“I erred on the side of caution for you.” Ranma answered, which Katie kind of expected considering the neatness of the food. “The spicy stuff is still out if you want it.”
“I tend to go hotter than even people who like things a little spicy.” Katie explained as she took a seat at the table. “Wouldn’t have been enough to satisfy me but this is fine. I still miss hot wings though.”
“I’m good at making new stuff, so tell me about it. Maybe I can figure it out and whip some up.” Ranma offered.
Katie laughed a little and then took a bite of her food. Her eyes flew wide, and tears appeared in the corners of her eyes. Closing them, she took a deep breath and chewed her food before swallowing. “You know what? We gotta put you on the lease. I don’t think I can live without this.”
Misao piped up. “On the lease, huh?” Her grin was mostly wholesome, a record for her.
Ranma perked up at that. “Wait, what? Really? You want me to move in?”
“It would make sense logistically, and besides you wouldn’t have to deal with your Dad’s crap and since this place is more or less a safe house, you wouldn’t have to worry about anybody stalking you.” Katie suggested.
Misao certainly agreed. “Plus you’d have a roof over your head all on your own!”
“And it’s totally not a ruse to get you to cook for us every once in awhile.” Katie added
“Ah, thanks you guys.” Ranma said, his neck flushing red. “Well, if you really want me to stay…”
“Sure I do!” Misao said. “I mean, it’s only been a few days, but you’ve impressed me plenty.”
Katie swallowed more of her food. “Me too, so… I guess welcome home, Ranma.”
Misao nodded. “Yeah, welcome home!”
Touched by the gesture, Ranma put up a warm smile. “Heh, thanks guys.”
Home. He finally had a home.
Katie had just finished eating when her phone rang, interrupting the chummy atmosphere with a reminder of the world outside their walls. She checked it and found that it was Akane, which lead to her answering it with a quickness. “Yo, Akaneko, what’s up?”
“You know that Gambling King guy you told me about the other day?” Akane’s voice came through a little strained.
The writing was on the wall but Katie decided to let Akane finish. “Yeah?”
“He’s at the Dojo and he’s demanding you come give him your answer.” Akane said, sounding very upset.
Katie pinched the bridge of her noise. “I’ll be right over.”
Ranma noticed her demeanor. “What’s up?”
“Got some business over at the Tendos, you stay here and do your stream.” Katie said as she got up from the table.
“Is everything alright?” Misao asked, frowning just a tad.
“It’s fine, I just gotta clean up a mess someone else made in my name.” Katie said, ready for this but wishing it wasn’t necessary. “I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Kick ass and take names. I know a guy who wouldn’t mind a new one.” Ranma said, adding some levity.
Katie chuckled, that fucking dork. “Thanks Ranma, I needed that.”
“Go get ‘em bae!” Misao cheered as Katie headed to the door.
|Gambling’s For Fools|
She made her way down through the Karaoke bar, waving to Paz as she passed through. Out into the early evening air, the world felt oppressive and cold at the moment. Maybe it was her anger heating her blood up or maybe it was the real consequences to this fight wasn’t going to be decided by her talents. If she fought and got beat, that was one thing. To lose everything that she had earned since coming to Japan on a fucking card game?
She refused.
She refused!
She refused!
The Tendo compound loomed before her now, her rage powered walking blurring the scenery between her place and here. How fitting, in the home of Kasumi and Akane, she was going to fight for her future. Her temperature cooled and her anger gelled to a molten paste, as she walked up and knocked on the door.
Kasumi opened the door, Akane was waiting with her. “Katie-chan.” She murmured with worry.
“Senpai, he’s…” Akane began to say, missing the subtle intensity in Kasumi’s tone outright.
“I know, I’ll get rid of him.” Katie promised, as Kasumi stepped away to let her enter. “ C’mon, Akaneko.”
Akane nodded and turned to fall in step with her.
“Let the asshole stew just a second longer.” She had to focus just a little more. “Keep your focus and pay attention to the cards. That’s all you need to do.”
She ignored Soun as she made her way to the dojo, the world melting away to black as the building became the focal point of her mind. She could do this. No, she would do this. This was her Paradise and interlopers weren’t welcomed. Just win and it was over.
“Just win and-”
The door to the dojo from the house was wrenched open with a bang. Calm down, you need to be calm.
“Just be calm-”
Katie entered the dojo and found a slightly creepy looking guy who fancied himself the King of Gambling. He was even dressed like a face card and ugh. If this was a fight, she would kill him just for his shitty taste in clothes. But it wasn’t so she bit down on the murderous impulse.
The Gambling King looked her, smug as fuck as though he expected her to run. Just run away and let it be.
“This wasn’t your mess, this isn’t you-”
“Deal the cards and get ready to lose.” Katie said, her eyes looking over to see a bored looking Nabiki playing with a deck of cards. “If you don’t want to play, you can just run away and keep my Uncle. He snores in his sleep and don’t feed him after midnight.”
Her opponent for the evening looked somewhat surprised she agreed, but a look of determination soon found his features. “So you wish to lose as well.”
“The only thing I’m losing is my Uncle’s stupid debt hanging over my head.” Katie snapped back. “My folks wouldn’t talk to me again if I let that idiot hang in the wind.”
She sat down at the table, opposite of the man. Out of the corner of her eye, she got a subtle nod from Nabiki. Good, at least that was still in effect.
“I wonder what I’ll add to my collection from you.” The Gambling King mused in that snotty voice of his. “Maybe you’ll be my bodyguard, kehehehehe.”
Katie narrowed her eyes but said nothing.
“Okay, stop with the unnecessary posturing so we can get started.” Nabiki said, shuffling the cards she had in her hands.
That was the only sound for a few seconds, before Nabiki finished.
“Ready?” Nabiki asked Katie.
There was only a slightly noticeable nod.
“You?” Nabiki turned to the Gambling King.
“To win it all.” He taunted.
Nabiki dealt the cards, keeping everything looking like the height of neutrality.
Katie barely touched her cards and she knew she had rags. From how Nabiki dealt them, she knew that he barely had the better hand by din of better high card. A bluffing battle to start out with to see what he was made of eh? Too bad she didn’t want to let this go on too long or else this would be a great way to start. She left them on the table, she didn’t need to look at them for this.
The Gambling King picked up his cards and kept the frown from his face. He had gotten nothing in the deal, which meant it was down to who bluffed better between them. Tch, how annoying, but not as annoying as this mere girl not even looking at her cards. Hmm, what to do?
“One of you can fold,” Nabiki reminded them. “We’ll start again. If not make a wager and let’s see how it goes.”
“I’ll let him start us off, he’s the reigning champ after all,” Katie said.
“Confident eh? Yet you don’t look at your cards.” The Gambling King bantered a little.
“My cards are my cards. I don’t need to know them as long as you don’t know them.” Katie replied. “Bet or fold.”
“Very well,” he said, contemplating. “I’ll start off strong… everything your loser of an Uncle lost to me. So a little over five hundred thousand yen, the titles to his car and motorcycle, the deed to his house, and his marriage license to one Helena Sherman. All totaling out to a grand total of ten million, one hundred thousand yen.”
Akane gasped at the shock at the sheer amount of money just thrown onto the table. “T-ten million…!”
Nabiki kept her features cool despite the magnitude of the bet. Had she an inkling he’d have thrown it all down, she’d have given Katie the Nuts to smash through his skull.
“That’s substantial.” Katie said, not rising to the bait. In fact, she was cooler than ice right now. “Are you sure?”
“Positive, it’ll all come back to me anyways.” He chortled, looking pleased as punch at the idea of winning. “Now, can you meet that?”
Katie closed her eyes, and nodded, before she reached out and slapped something onto the table. When she removed it, she looked down at it, then at him, as from the billfold a paltry ten thousand yen and several green and black credit cards slipped out. Reaching over, she picked up the a black card with no name on it, before tossing it into the pile.
“And that is?” The Gambling King asked.
“My pay card, for services rendered to Misao Darlian. On it is eleven million, two hundred twenty thousand yen, built up over the time I’ve been here.”
The Gambling King was rather surprised. “All of that money is yours?”
“Yeah, but I don’t touch it really, I have plans of retiring before I’m thirty, you see,” Katie revealed.
“How much was that again?” A rather surprised Nabiki asked.
“Eleven mil,” Katie replied.
Akane shook her head. “You’re better at hoarding money than Nabiki is.”
“Just a tad,” Nabiki thought to herself.
Katie snorted. “The majority is hazard pay. Trust me: You do not want to earn money the way I did.”
She brought a hand down to her side and consciously rubbed it as she said this.
Akane saw this, and she worried her lower lip in concern. What had her senpai been doing to make her react like that?
Nabiki regarded Katie’s actions carefully, she seemed more concerned with what was clearly an old injury over the game itself. Her poker face was incalculable. However… she was going in way too hard on the opening hand.
“She’s going to try to bluff him out on the open, which would be great if I hadn’t given her rags!” She thought behind her cool exterior. Did she really think that he was going to bow out on this? Normally she wouldn’t care, but that check wasn’t going to clear if she lost, and she’d have to pay out that money she promised to this jackass!
The Gambling King let out a laugh. “Well, isn’t this a high-stakes game! I suppose I should put a little more into the pot.”
He looked down at his cards, and then up at Katie once again. “That seems well and suitable. I’ll call your bet and throw in one million yen more. Courtesy of a fool old man of many virtues except for that hopeless gambling affliction.”
Katie looked at the slip of paper: a shrine and the land it sat on, a deal sealed with blood, neat. “Whatever. You ready to play?”
The Gambling King chuckled and looked at his hand. “Are you sure you want to play your hand without looking at your cards?”
“Don’t need to,” Katie replied. “I know exactly how this is going to go down.”
Akane, was staring at Katie’s cards, wondering if she had some kind of trick up her sleeve. How powerful were those cards that she hadn’t even looked at?! Was she being like Jotaro?
Nabiki knew the truth, and it made her all the more dumbfounded. “Idiot, you lost the hand!”
The Gambling King let out a small laugh, and then showed his cards. “My high card is a queen, my dear! What do you have to show me?”
Katie organized her cards, and then using the fifth card, flipped the other four over in a row, revealing a 2, a 5, a 6, and a 9. She then tossed down the last card face up, revealing a Jack. “Bullshit.”
Nabiki palmed her face, while Akane’s mouth fell open in complete horror at the awfulness of the hand. Even the Gambling King couldn’t help but stare at the complete uselessness of the hand brought against him.
“Uh… hey,” he said flatly, “You do realize that’s a bum hand, right?”
Katie remained unflinching. “It is?”
Nabiki didn’t know whether to laugh or cry into her hand. What just happened? Why did this just happen?!
Akane was at Katie’s side right away. “Katie! You lost! I don’t even play poker and I know that you can’t win with that!”
At that moment, Katie’s eyes widened in comprehension. “Oh, so I definitely lost then.”
“Yes!” Akane quickly said. “He just beat you and took all of your money!”
The Gambling King reached out, and promptly scooped up the pot, pulling it over to his side of the table. “That I did, little lady! You lose.”
“But wait!” Akane cried out. “Aren’t you going to give her a chance to win back the pot?”
“Well, unless she has anymore money or collateral, she has no way of buying that chance,” the Gambling King said. “And despite your surprising little display of money in this card of yours, you don’t have enough to buy your way back into this game.”
Standing up, the large man looked down at his winnings, and–rather pleased with himself–began to gather them up to stuff into his bag. “With this ugly business out of the way, I think it’s time for me to take my leave-”
“Hey,” Katie then said, stopping him.
The Gambling King then looked up, and found that Katie was holding her smartphone in her hand, while looking straight at him.
“Who said anything about me not having enough?”
Akane looked at the phone, seeing “The Bae” in romaji on the contact highlighted on the screen.
|And don’t forget the Joker|
Nabiki stopped shaking her head, and peeked from behind her palm. What?
Katie took the cards and after gathering them up, set them down in front of Nabiki. “Shuffle up the deck, because this is happening right now.”
The Gambling King was rather surprised. “You want to lose another hand?”
“If you’re so confident you’ll win, I don’t see why you’re asking me.”
At that challenge, the Gambling King chuckled and then sat right back down. “Interesting! Interesting! I don’t think I’ve ever beaten a player this stupidly confident in their odds against me.”
“There’s nothing stupid about it,” Katie said, as Nabiki began to deal the cards. Back and forth they went, Nabiki doling out a total of five to each, which they picked up.
Examining his hand, The Gambling King inwardly decided that he liked very much what he saw. “Oh it is, you’ll see when I learn you something. Now, there’s the little matter of the opening pot-”
Katie then sat the phone down. “Give me a second.”
She hit the call button, and set her phone down on the table, the phone quickly connecting and ringing once, then twice, and then a third time-
“Hello?” Both Nabiki and Akane recognized Misao’s voice. “Yo, what’s up bae? Kind of an inopportune time to call, filming and all.”
“I lost a hand of poker, and I need to open the next pot,” she said. “Can I borrow thirteen million yen?”
The Gambling King froze where he sat, his eyes flying wide at the simple proposition. “You-you’re going to just borrow thirteen-!”
“Huh? Oh yeah, sure. Just put it on a promissory note,” Misao replied.
There was a sudden shuffling behind Katie and Akane. The latter and Nabiki both looked and saw Soun and Kasumi standing in the doorway, the patriarch of the Tendo home looking rather pale at the amount of money casually tossed around.
“Love ya, doll,” Katie said as she quickly scribbled down an IOU of 13 million yen, and tossed it in the center of the table. “That’s the pot.”
Staring at the simple IOU, the Gambling King chuckled, and then looked up at her. “You do realize, that if neither of you can pony up that kind of money, you’re going to have to pay me back somehow, right?”
Katie sat back in her chair. “That won’t be a problem, because I’m not going to lose.”
She gestured to the table. “So, call, raise, or fold.”
The Gambling King was undeterred, and pulled out a few stacks of white papers and dropped them onto the table, they were all IOUs, bearing seals and signatures, with one at the top featuring the a child’s handprint in dried blood. The brim of his hat ominously shaded his blue eyes as he looked up from under it at Katie with a smile.
“These are the deeds to businesses, properties, and other assets I’ve collected over my travels,” he revealed. “Many a loser, frustrated at my prowess, have handed over to me their entire lives for a chance to beat me, and all of them have failed.”
Akane tensed up when she saw the stack of notes. “W-what…?”
“This here amount totals to sixteen million yen,” he reveals. “Feel free to look through it all, but I’m an honest man, there’s no need for me to cheat.”
“S-sixteen million…” Soun muttered, in disbelief at the pot.
Nabiki was much more relaxed behind her façade.
Katie shrugged her shoulders. “I believe you. I don’t have reason to.”
She then called to the phone. “Misao, I need to borrow another five million yen.”
“Go ‘head,” Misao said, now sounding more interested in the drama happening over the phone.
Just like that, it clicked in Nabiki’s head. “I see! Misao… she can just pour money into the pot, a girl as rich as her, it wouldn’t matter how much he raises, Katie can just out-raise him!”
The Gambling King let out a boisterous laugh. “That’s bold! That’s bold!”
He then reached into his ugly overcoat, and pulled out another stack of IOUs, dropping them down onto the total. “I see your bet and raise it! This here is a total amount of no less than twenty-two million yen!”
“Oh my!” Kasumi said, herself shocked at how the stakes rose higher.
Akane looked at Katie, and then at her hand. “This one is a winner, right? If you can’t match that, or if you lose…!”
“I’ll raise,” Katie said. “Misao, throw another ten million yen onto the fire.”
Nabiki stared at Katie now, seeing her utter calmness. “The higher it goes, the more likely he can’t match it, the more he’s going to think she’s bluffing. But this guy’s an old pro…”
She looked at Katie’s hand, and then at the Gambling King’s, and then at the Gambling King himself. He was the picture of serenity, his almost comical appearance lent heavily to his imperceptible poker face.
“I see your twenty-eight million yen, and I will raise you this!” He pulled forth even more papers, but these looked like official documents. “Contractual agreements, deeds, and titles to various… unseemly establishments around Tokyo! A total of no less than eighty million yen!”
That was almost too high of a jump. Almost.
Akane looked to Katie. “Senpai… you should call…”
“Nah, don’t wanna,” Katie said as she looked to Misao. “Hey. Let’s make this an even hundo.”
“Sure!” Misao replied without hesitation.
“I see your bet and raise it,” Katie said as she pushed the next promissory note forward. “Call, fold, or raise, your majesty.”
It was too high, he couldn’t call that, much less raise it! Nabiki resisted the urge to smirk. Misao was proving to be extremely useful in this little fiasco, and she wasn’t even physically here!
Akane looked at Katie, who seemed more annoyed that sporting any confidence or cockiness, but even she could see that this was in the bag. The stakes were much too high, and Katie could keep raising them as she wished. He would have no choice but to fold in the face of such confidence.
Unless, as Nabiki noted to herself, he decided to call her massive betting or they went to showdown because he couldn’t raise anymore.
Because Katie had nothing but rags again.
The Gambling King held up his cards again, peering over them at the mess of papers that had accumulated the table’s center. Then up at Katie, who continued to give him a completely neutral expression. He let out a bit of a laugh, and then sat back in his chair.
“So, that’s the game you’re playing, hm?” The Gambling King asked. “It won’t do you any good to raise the pot any higher, because I have no intention of walking away from this one.”
Nabiki’s blood ran cold. “Oh shit.”
Katie nodded. “Calling my hand?”
The Gambling King nodded. “I’m calling it bullshit, is what I am. Honestly, little lady, you think that a man who knows his way around a poker table wouldn’t know when you’re counting your cards hoping for a win?”
And now there was ice in Nabiki’s veins.
The Gambling King closed his eyes and spoke. “The next five cards in your deck are seven, eight, nine, ten, and an ace. All clubs, respectively.”
Akane, before Nabiki could stop her, took the deck from her hand and drew those next five cards, and her eyes widened at the sight of the cards being exactly as The Gambling King predicted. Feeling eyes on her, she noticed that both Soun and Kasumi were suddenly peering over her back as well.
“He… he’s right!” Soun gasped in amazement.
“He reasoned the positions of my deck based off just ten cards?!” Nabiki was in disbelief herself, again not that she’d shown it.
“Ho, ho, ho! It’s precious that you would attempt to defeat me through such simple and underhanded means,” The Gambling King said, “But I didn’t think that the neutral dealer would be rigging the house for you.”
He looked at Nabiki pointedly with that, before addressing Katie. “That certainly changes some things, but not how this story ends.”
His hand landed on the table, revealing a Straight Flush of Hearts. “They say the Queen of Diamonds will beat you if she’s able, but the Queen of Hearts is just as cruel.”
He closed his eyes and chuckled. “It looks like–again-”
The words came to a stop when he looked up at her. The haughty sneer he wore melted into one of confusion and then of disbelief… when he saw that Katie was smiling. Not just smiling, grinning ear to ear at the sight of the Gambling King’s hand.
“Buddy, I don’t need to count cards to beat you,” she said, “The only card I need…”
She threw her hand down onto the table, and The Gambling King nearly fell backward from his seat in a full tumble, when he saw a Royal Flush suited in Spades.
“… Is the Ace of Spades,” she finished as she smiled down on the Gambling King, her eyes nearly glowing from the malice of her gaze. “Take one look and die.”
It was about here that The Gambling King lost the schooled, steel composure that he had come into this game with. He stood up, recoiling from the cards as if they were an extremely venomous snake. “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!”
Soun nearly shoved his oldest and younger daughters to the floor as he raced to the table and look on in disbelief. Sure enough, there sat the Royal Flush of Spades, in all of its Straight Flush pummeling glory.
Kasumi clapped her hands together, gleeful. “That means you win… right?”
“It does!” Akane shouted ecstatically. “She beat him!”
“Ho-shit! Nice!” Misao called over the speakerphone. “GG, bae!”
Katie looked down at the phone. “Did you seriously just use textspeak IRL?”
“Did you?” Misao cattily retorted.
She needed a second to realize that she did. “… Fuck.”
“HOLD ON A SECOND!” The Gambling King roared, in exasperation.
He slammed a hand down on the table, and then pointed at the hand. “You cheated!”
Katie recoiled. “I cheated how?”
“You switched hands!” He said. “There’s no way you should’ve had a Royal Flush! Your next cards were going to be all rags! Useless! You should’ve had a seven-high hand!!”
Katie looked around the witnesses to the game. “Hey guys, did anyone see me switch cards?”
Kasumi shook her head. “No, I didn’t.”
“Nor did I,” Soun said.
Akane quietly checked through the rest of the deck, then fanned them out on a clear spot of the table, face up. “The faces and the ace of spades aren’t in here.”
But the seven-high described by The Gambling King was, exactly after the club flush. Nabiki stared at it as well, her mouth finally shutting after hanging open.
“HOW?!” The Gambling King bellowed. Nabiki was of the same mind.
“That shouldn’t have happened, I arranged the deck so that, so that…” She then stopped, as she remembered one important thing that happened. The Gambling King remembered it as well.
Katie had gathered the cards… and handed them back to Nabiki…
“Were you paying attention at all, or were you too caught up in my theatrics to notice?” Katie then asked.
Nabiki slowly looked from the cards to Katie, as those same words echoed in her head. “Oh, you sneaky cunt.”
The Gambling King sagged where he stood, and then began to tremble with rage when he realized that he’d been defeated by what seemed like a simple sloppy rearrangement of the cards that turned out to be a predicted shift in card position. She had outplayed him and the dealer using the losing hand! The dramatic call to Misao and the skyrocketing pot were specifically to keep his attention away from the possibility that the cards had been shifted!
He put a trembling hand to his brow, and bowed his head. But rather than growl in rage… he let out a chuckle, before he spoke in a different, yet very familiar voice.
“Damn it girl, you ruined it.”
The Tendos noticed the shift in his voice, and looked at him before it occurred to Katie that something was off.
The grin faded from Katie’s face as she searched the voice in her mind… and then recognized it. “You.”
Nabiki recoiled a tiny bit. “Say what?”
“You know him all of a sudden?” Akane asked.
Katie nodded. “… It’s my Uncle Nick.”
|Hi Uncle Nick!|
“I didn’t lose to the asshole who used to call himself the Gambling King.” The man named Nicholas Fontaine Sherman said as he grabbed the top of his face, and began to pull it and his hat off, revealing that it was a latex mask that hid a different, familiar face to Soun and Katie.
“Ah, you! Nick!” Soun yelped.
“You know him?” Nabiki asked him.
“I went drinking with him yesterday, Saotome and I!” Soun explained.
Kasumi suddenly clasped his shoulder with one hand, and leaned close. “Drinking? I thought you said you were exhausted from training, which is why you both went straight to bed when you came home.”
Soun stiffened, and looked out the corner of his eye at Kasumi, who was still smiling pleasantly.
“We. Will. Talk. Later.” Her stilted tone, while still very nice, emphasised her anger perfectly.
“What the literal shit, you bastard?!” Katie suddenly, and vehemently, shouted at Nick. “Do you realize how stressed I’ve been over this?!”
“Relax, relax, I have my reasons for this,” Nick explained as he tossed the mask and hat on the table, and then began to shed his goofy overcoat as well. “I found this bozo a couple neighborhoods over hustling kids and kicked his ass first in Poker and then with my fists. Looking through his stuff, I found he was interested in trying to collect a bounty that someone put on you.”
He took off the overcoat he wore, revealing his more usual vest and khaki combo.
Katie stopped. “Wait, a bounty?”
“Yeah, to make you look like an idiot. I tracked them down and I wanted to figure out what their game was.” Nick said, looking irritated. “And it was all gonna go down real smooth like and then you ruined it.”
“You could have just told me your plan. The only other person who would’ve have known it wasn’t legit would be Misao.” Katie pointed out, still just a tiny bit pissed. The relief that she wasn’t actually on the hook for anything was soon melting under the boiling inferno of rage that her Uncle pulled a fast one on her and made her worry for nothing.
“I wanted to be sure.” He defended. “But I found out who did it.”
“Who?” Katie asked.
He looked at Nabiki, who blanched a bit in spite of her retained composure.
Katie actually broke down into hysterical laughter. “Shit man, you definitely should have told me! We could’ve hustled her on that shit and split the money!”
“You’re taking that rather well.” Nick noted, kind of taken aback by her blase attitude.
“Well, yeah. It was what, embarrass me or something?” Katie guessed.
Nick nodded.
“Well that’s no big deal. It takes a lot to embarrass me, you know that.” Katie said, shaking her head. “I mean, so what? Compared to Tillamook, this is actually small time.”
Nick didn’t look pleased with his niece turning defense for the girl who put a bounty on her.
“Fine whatever man. I’m gonna skip summer this year, thanks.” Katie said, getting up.
“You’re just going to let this go?” Nick asked, somewhat incredulous.
“Dude, she put a bounty on my head and then took a paycheck from me to be the dealer to screw over her hitman.” Katie said, shaking her head. “I can’t hate on a bitch that bad. It wouldn’t be right.” She tossed him a dark look. “Besides, the guy who tricked me into a high-stakes poker game and forced me into this whole mess just so you could confront her shouldn’t be throwing stones man.”
Nick let out a contemplative hum at that, before nodding. “I suppose that’s fair.”
Nabiki, heretofore silent, decided to make a point in her own defense. “Uh, not for nothing, but until he brought this whole thing up, I completely forgot about the bounty.”
Katie laughed at that. “See? Knowing we could both kill her she says that!”
Nick decided to probe the girl a little anyways. “Would you have still paid it?”
“To you? Hell no. Complete and utter humiliation my man. Beating her in a card game? What kind of lame manga shit are trying to pull?” Nabiki seemed offended by the notion that beating her at poker would work.
“Was it even possible?” Katie asked. “Because I have my doubts.”
“If you don’t fulfill the terms in the contract, you don’t get paid.” Nabiki said, before looking a little chagrined. “That probably means I won’t see that fat check since I’m the one who sent this guy after you.”
“Are you kidding? I’ve learned an invaluable skill–next time I go to a casino, I’m going to walk out with the keys.”
Nabiki actually giggled a little at that.
Hearing it, Nick realized exactly why Katie was standing up for this bitch. He wanted to bury his face in his hands but refrained. “All’s well that ends well as it goes.”
Akane gently elbowed Katie in the side. “Senpai… this man’s really your Uncle?”
“Yeah, he’s an asshole, isn’t he?” Katie replied.
Asshole was being nice, in Akane’s book. Putting Katie over like this, and making her come all this way for ultimately nothing. Then there was Nabiki. “Are you okay with Nabiki…?”
“What, the bounty?” Katie turned back to Nabiki. “Hey, since this has all been blown out, mind calling that whole thing off?”
“Not at all,” Nabiki said. “This venture was too profitable for me to need something meaningless like schadenfreude.”
“And there goes the water under the bridge,” Katie replied, before she picked up her phone. “I’m not going to need all that money.”
“Good, Mom would kick my ass if I suddenly had to pay all of that shit out,” Misao said. “Hi Uncle Nick~!”
“Hello Misao,” Nick said kindly to the phone, “Are you eighteen yet?”
“Yes, Uncle Nick~” Misao sang.
“Great, so how about we-”
“No, Uncle Nick~” Misao sang again.
Nick snapped his fingers. “Fuck.”
Akane cringed, as Katie shook her head in disgust. “Could you not ever do that again?”
Her Uncle just gave her a blithe, smarmy look. “A man can aspire, can’t he?”
“Aim much lower,” Katie warned.
Nick nearly glanced in Soun’s direction and thought of his curiously absent friend. “I always hit those marks.”
And with that innuendo, Katie was done with the conversation, because her double-entendre loving creepy Uncle almost certainly implied that there was going to be drama later that she’d have to clean up somehow. “Well, I’m done. Hey Akaneko, can we go watch TV?”
Akane wholeheartedly seconded the notion. “Y-yes! Absolutely!”
With that, she took Katie by the hand and led her out of the dojo. Kasumi was two paces behind the two girls, just shaking her head in amusement. As the action was over, Soun slowly trailed out, and Nabiki was left alone with Nick, who began to gather up his things.
“I’m not going to apologize or beg for mercy.” Nabiki said to break the contemplative silence. “I made a mistake that could have cost me dearly.”
A little spike of killing intent danced in the air. “Who’s to say it still won’t?”
Nabiki sensed it, and blew out a sigh. “I know, you want to rage and howl at me, maybe rough me up and leave me in a ditch somewhere to rue the day I messed with your family, but you know what? Let’s skip all that, too much energy. You intimidated me with some sinister posturing, I was scared into prostrating myself on your mercy, and you can walk out here feeling like you protected her from the big bad me.”
“I don’t know, I like the sinister posturing part a lot.” Nick lamented in a joking tone.
“I’ll trade you a secret in exchange for saving us both the bad acting.” Nabiki offered.
“Okay, what?” Nick asked.
“I cancelled the bounty this morning, considering I could keep it and get the money from Katie.” Nabiki said, before pausing to let him reason it out.
“So if I had won and asked for it…” Nick started to realize what trouble Katie might be in because of this girl that didn’t have to do with the bounty.
“I would have asked what bounty.” Nabiki replied with a nod. “So please, if you’ll allow me to excuse myself.”
Nick waited for her to get to the door, his expression one of surprise, before it turned into a sinister grin. “You know, the bounty being gone should make me worry less now, but knowing you’re close to her doesn’t actually relieve me at all.”
“Oh yeah?” Nabiki asked, wondering what he was getting at.
“You’re a bonafide problem and one of the few she won’t ever try to get rid of,” Nick replied, “A girl like you is her greatest weakness.”
Nabiki contemplated the words before she nodded. “I’ll have to keep that in mind. Excuse me.”
Nick shook his head and looked at the cards. He picked up the Ace of Spades, and turned it over in his hand, before chuckling. “Goddamn it girl, you’re gonna get yourself into some deep shit with that type of yours.”
Back in the house, Nabiki was thinking over what Nick had said. No that wasn’t quite right, because even if she was a petty, vindictive bitch, putting a bounty on Katie’s head was a bit too much. Something more than just jealousy vexed her about Katie Izland. Something she couldn’t quite put a finger on it.
She walked to the sitting room and found Katie lying on the floor with Akane as they switched it over to an international channel showing a poker tournament. Katie was explaining to her kouhai how she’d done it.
Nabiki cocked her head slightly, taking in the sight of Katie’s confident, muscular back as she laid on the ground uncoiled and relaxed… like a wolf resting after a kill. A little to the side she could see that confident smile that Katie wore everyday like armor against a cynical world. Nabiki could only stand and stare, almost captivated.
The spark had been provided, the tinder had begun to burn.
|Roundabout|
It was well into the night now, and a young man wearing a tiger-striped bandana was sitting next to a campfire, waiting for the late meal to be finished. It was ramen again, but they had found some ingredients and made the most of it. He looked across the fire to the girl doing the cooking, this dangerous woman named Shampoo.
“Should search for Red.” The girl seethed as she stirred the broth. “Then Shampoo kill!”
“Yes, but the city is different from the countryside. It’s harder to track anything here.” Ryoga said, sighing only slightly. “And I can’t track anything as a human and will get lost, putting us farther away from her.”
“Shampoo no care, Shampoo kill Red!” The Amazon hissed, showing the honeymoon period, if it had ever been there, was over.
“We’ve been over this, I want to talk to Ranma.” Ryoga said patiently. “Besides, we were delayed today by someone needing to play Dota at an internet cafe.”
“Shampoo just want have fun.” The girl groused sourly.
“And you did once you took my advice and stopped feeding.” Ryoga said, though it was less advice and more taunting her about going to play LoL instead if all she wanted to do was feed. Luckily, nothing got damaged in her tantrum but it was a close call.
“Hmph.” Shampoo didn’t respond to the barb and switched topics. “Who this Ranma? Why so important?”
Ryoga leaned forward and pressed his hands together, before resting his chin on them. The fire framed his face as he contemplated the answer.
“A friend,” he said after a couple seconds. “More than that, just someone I need to talk to.”
The conversation seemed to die with Shampoo’s annoyed huff at his cryptic answer, and the night rolled on.
= = =
And, with Seven Chapters in, I officially end the first arc of Senpai.
So Katie is steadily and subtly building her harem. Misao is going to be meeting an amazon gaming rival soon. Ryoga somehow got married to said amazon and appears to be far more mellow(considering that he and Shampoo are probably plowing, that would makes sense). Uncle Nick is apparently half martial artist half mission impossible style secret agent. And said uncle seems to have in his possession more than the Saotome marriage certificate.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Disclaimer: The following is a fan-written parody. Ranma ½ is property of Rumiko Takahashi, Studio Deen, Shogakukan, Viz Media, and Madman Entertainment. Support the official release, okay?
Senpai
A Ranma ½ Story
Chapter 8/?
On an unusually broad and windswept swept field of knee-high grass for such a thing to be located anywhere in the city of Tokyo, Kodachi Kuno stood alone against a considerable number of young men dressed in stylized black school uniforms. There were a good number of them, and they all looked about as fearsome as tough delinquents would look if they had maximum style going for them.
Kodachi, however, was amused more than intimidated. Though it was a sardonic amusement, for the full weight of her disgust was targeted at the dull-witted and utterly hideous leader of these delinquents, a young man aptly named Soban.
“So it has come to my attention that Butsumetsu High School is seeking an alliance with Tomobiki… in spite of recent events between your houses.” Kodachi intoned.
Soban, who was a man of few words because he only knew so many, chose not to speak as a pretty boy delinquent who was his right hand man stepped forward. “Well there’s a School War about to go down and the toughest School ain’t invited to the festivities? You rich brats can pose and posture all you want, but in the end it’s gonna be us low-born who rewrite the maps, so we’re here to make a deal with you.”
“Oh?” Kodachi asked.
“You make an alliance with us, Furinkan, or we make good on our signals and mosey over to back up Tomobiki. It wouldn’t be hard for us, we got more muscle than you and Tomobiki combined, and one of Tomobiki’s star students is real sweet on the boss here.”
Kodachi took one look at Soban and rolled her eyes. “Oh, I’m sure he is.”
“So what do you say?” The pretty boy asked.
Kodachi mulled over the threat, before she let out a hum. “I say… that you are not even fit to be Alligator shit.”
The boys didn’t take too kindly to that response, a loud and angry “EHHHHHHH?!” rising to a pitch before it devolved into random jeers and insults. Soban’s pretty boy stepped up, gesturing rudely to Kodachi.
“Alligator shit, huh?! Then let’s see how it is when we trash your school! Butsumetsu High School ain’t nothin’ ta fuck with!”
Kodachi chuckled. “Fufufu… plebeians like yourselves could only dream of being beaten up at a Wu Tang Concert.”
Furious, the pretty boy looked to Soban. “Boss! Get in there and show her the power of a guy who fought for an hour straight against Lum Invader!”
Soban, an extremely fat and mostly bald (he still had two hairs atop his head, two!) with a set of massive fish lips that took up most of his face and a pair of small round sunglasses that covered his beady eyes, stepped up and cracked his massive knuckles.
“Fufu… you say you have faced Lum Invader?” Kodachi asked with an amused smirk on her face. “Then this will be a good exercise for us, to see how we will measure up against her later.”
The pretty boy didn’t take that well. “You think you can face the man who fought Lum Invader and live?” He was even pointing a finger at her all serious like.
“It won’t matter if I can or not, because I have no intention of fighting him one on one. That is not what I came out here for,” she revealed. “I am merely here to let my Student Council annihilate your war potential so I can carry on without concern from you.”
There was a whistling, followed by a mighty dust creating impact between Kodachi and the rival school. The wind that swept the field cleared it quickly, revealing Ranma, Akane, Katie, and Nabiki standing under inexplicable spotlights that shone down from the low, dark clouds that hung over the field. Akane held a shinai across her shoulders, Nabiki was crunching the numbers on a cellphone, Katie was tightening bandages around her palms and wrists, and Ranma was cracking his knuckles.
“Yo, Soban! Still as ugly and bald as I remember!” Ranma called with a joking smile on his face.
“I’m actually glad most of the boys at Furinkan were actually human.” Akane grumbled.
Nabiki was doing calculations on a cellphone. “Yep, this is the entire Butsumetsu fighting force. The School is currently empty.”
“Don’t have to worry about stragglers huh?” Katie asked with a bloodthirsty chuckle. “Let’s see if they live up to their rep.”
Kodachi suddenly dropped back, landing in the reclining position in the arms of two of her Gentlemen, as a third offered her a cup of tea that she took gratefully from him. “Even if they do not, I expect to be entertained.”
“God, I love her,” Katie said as she got ready.
“You say that, when I’m standing here?” Nabiki teased.
Soban looked at the four students, and then around, a little confused. “That’s it?”
His right hand was more livid than confused. “You’re really asking for it, huh, thinking your guys are that hot?!”
“A flea like you hardly requires more than the force it takes to crush you.” Kodachi said, sipping her tea. “But please, do keep posturing, maybe you can bore us into submission?”
“KICK THEIR ASSES!” With that, the floodgates came open and four-hundred angry young men charged the paltry line that four people were expected to hold.
Of the four members of the Student Council, it was Nabiki of all people who performed the first move, opening an app on her phone and performing a swipe on the screen, targeting the group of charging youths. “Incoming~”
From the clouds, a single missile broke through and oriented itself before heading straight towards the leading edge of the charging line. Before it hit the ground, it opened up and scattered all over the area of charging steel ball bearings that pelted those who charged into the rain of steel and caused others to trip, slip, and stumble first over the bearings and then over each other’s bodies.
“God I love technology.” Nabiki said, blowing a kiss at her phone.
With the initial charge sputtering a tad, the other three began to make their moves. Akane waded forward, smashing through the horde of boys with precise, looping swings of her shinai. Bodies began to litter the air as she tore into the human wave before her.
Even as they hit the floor, Katie was adding to the unexpected air traffic, grabbing and throwing her opponents as they rushed towards her, only striking those who attempted something fancy of their own, like the dumbass with a heavy duty chain who tried to swing it into her side. She caught that weak sauce in her left hand and drove her right elbow into his left cheek, shattering his jaw and sending him twirling away like a drunken ballerina.
Ranma was exerting a similar lack of effort, his hands darting in and out of his pockets almost casually to block, deflect or strike while he hopped and danced around the crowd of attackers that funneled themselves towards him. One guy with a 2x4 of wood let out a yell when he thought he had Ranma’s blind spot, and for his complete failure to achieve surprise was kicked so many times in such short notice that he passed out standing up in the windup position of his swing.
A few young men who managed to escape the whirlwind of bodies courtesy of the actual fighters of the Student Council found themselves with only Nabiki in between them and Kodachi. A shout to rush them before it was too late came too late, as Nabiki’s casual swiping of her smartphone brought more missiles down onto them. Unlike the last one, these exploded with considerable concussive force, flinging students this way and that.
A speck of dirt landed on Nabiki’s shoulder from the explosion, which was promptly dusted off her shoulder by another of Kodachi’s Gentlemen. She smiled graciously to him. “Why thank you.”
“It was my pleasure, Tendo Nabiki-sama,” the Gentleman replied.
Nabiki found it harder to disagree with Katie’s pronouncement of love for Kodachi. “This is going fourteen seconds faster than our golden estimates.”
“Only that much?” Kodachi hummed in surprise.
“Well, those three are holding back to draw it out.” Nabiki said even as Akane was basically pitching people into the air for Ranma and Katie to punch or kick other people up into them.
“All three are eager to see how this Soban fights.” Kodachi surmised, the promise of fighting someone who fought that well against Tomobiki’s strongest was an attractive prospect.
“Like putting A5 beef in front of starving dogs.” Nabiki agreed, peering into the chaos to see what the enemy commander was doing. There were too many bodies hitting the floor, so she looked at her phone, and was provided an isometric bird’s eye view of the gang leader, who was wading towards the fight even as a lot of his guys were running away from it.
“It would seem he has some measure of temerity.” Kodachi said, slightly impressed that he was continuing to fight when it was obvious they were outmatched.
Nabiki pondered it. “I think it’s a case of him being too stupid to realize the danger he’s in, honestly.”
Indeed, for the danger was close as Ranma melted out of the maelstrom and came face to face with the hulking Soban. “Hey there, big fella… it’s been years.”
Soban blinked behind his tiny sunglasses, before recollection somehow came to him. “Oi! Saotome?! That’s you?!”
“Yeah there, guy! I was wondering if you’d even made it to High School, since they held you back like three times in 8th Grade,” he replied.
“Who the heck is this guy?” Soban’s friend asked.
“Someone I never had ta mess with,” Soban replied. “This kid’s Ranma Saotome, the only other guy in Junior High School to never go hungry.”
Soban’s Lieutenant paled and then looked at Ranma. “This guy…?”
“For real though, this is a treat, I always wanted to fight you but I had to settle for making wall art with your boys. This is gonna be great!”
Katie then walked over. “Well, don’t rough him up too much… I want to take a crack at him too.”
Soban’s Lieutenant looked between Ranma and Katie, then at the strewn around other students. “What… where the heck is everybody else?”
Ranma and Katie looked to the right, and found Akane in the middle of violently, gleefully smashing her shinai into the remaining few conscious young men of Butsumetsu as the chorus Rob Zombie’s Dragula blared.
“She wasn’t really interested in fighting you,” Katie revealed.
Soban looked, almost solemnly at the devastation, before he looked down at his opponents. “You guys… you trashed my boys.”
“Oh please,” Ranma insisted. “Tell me all about what you want to do about it.”
Katie was in full agreement. “Come on buddy, I wanna see it too… what’s the legend of Butsumetsu got to show us? A guy that Lum Invader couldn’t even put down after an hour of non-stop fighting?”
The towering Butsumetsu’s already ugly face became a twisted mockery of anger, as he raised his arms and then let out a mighty kiai that sounded more like a monster’s roar. “GURAAAAAAAH!”
Kodachi could hear the roar from where she stood, and looked on in interest. “Oh, ho?”
He then curled his arms inward, his body tensing up, his muscles rippling and bulging, his skin becoming like iron.
Katie bit her lower lip, she might actually have to hit a little hard to make this guy feel it.
The fire was lit in Ranma’s eyes, as he assumed a fighting stance. “Oh yeah, this isn’t going to be-”
A projectile, whistling through the air at high speed then cut through the air narrowly above Ranma’s head and plowed straight into the hulking Soban’s forehead, the force of the impact lifting the massive gang leader off his feet and sending him sailing through the air before he crashed onto his back with a great cloud of dust. He was out cold before he hit the ground.
“-Anti-climatic… at… all…” Ranma said, before the projectile in question finished flipping through the air hit the ground point down with a thud. “What the hell?”
“This is a what the fuck, actually,” Katie said.
“AHHH BOSS!” Soban’s second in command screamed in terror.
Kodachi and Nabiki were similarly surprised by the intervening object and looked around.
There was no sign of its source, even when Nabiki looked at her bird’s eye view. She looked over at Kodachi and shrugged her shoulders. “No skin off my teeth, but…”
Kodachi rose from her seat of Gentlemen, and returned her cup of tea to the specimen who served it to her. “Curious!”
Akane ran over to Ranma and Katie. “Ranma! Senpai! What just happened?!”
Ranma looked at the big guy of Butsumetsu. “Our fight just got stolen.”
Katie nodded as she walked over to the well embedded projectile that did it, and looked back towards the direction it came from. As with Nabiki, she saw no sign of the thrower or launcher or whatever could do this, and reached down to grab the projectile by the handle.
The first thing that surprised her was its weight. “… You know what? Fuck this fight, whoever could lug around this and throw it like that is way more interesting!”
She then pulled it out and held it up, and she only grew more interested at it. “Holy shit…”
It was a large, old fashioned umbrella. Made of extremely dense metal and tough fabric. Seeing it, Ranma’s own expression flashed to surprise.
“Holy shit!” He said, and Akane and Katie looked over to him.
“You familiar with this?” The latter girl asked.
Ranma nodded. “You bet I am… this belongs to someone I know, and someone I went to school with ol’ Soban here.”
Katie’s eyes widened in recognition. “Wait… you mean… that guy?”
Ranma nodded. “Yeah, that guy.”
He turned and looked back towards the direction the umbrella came from. “Looks like after all this time, Ryoga’s finally found me.”
“Ryoga? Who’s Ryoga?” Akane asked.
Ranma turned to her and smiled big. “The only person other than Senpai here to make fighting fun.”
It didn’t take long before the news of Butsumetsu’s complete annihilation at the hands of Furinkan to reach the ears of the respective enemy generals. If they could really be called that, considering Mendou’s grasp on Tomobiki was tenuous at best and Asuka was reigning over Kolkhoz more or less by default. Nevertheless, they were given the news at roughly the same time.
Their reactions couldn’t be more diametrically opposed.
“THOSE WORTHLESS DOGS!” Saginomiya Asuka roared in frustrated anger. “They make all this noise about how they deserve to be included in this farce and this is what happens? Annihilated in mere minutes?! The toughest school eh?! Feh!” The tall, blonde-haired, blue-eyed maiden dressed in an elegant white gown was so angry her normally beautiful features were twisted into some kind of nightmarish scowl, the veins in her face giving it more detail than it probably should have.
“O-oujo-sama!” Her butler, the one who drew the short lot in having to tell her the bad news, cried. “There was nothing to be done! They refused to answer our request to discuss their possible addition.” This was a lie, the Butsumetsu punks had wanted their boss to get a date from THE Asuka Saginomiya just for showing up.
“And this is what they get for their hubris!” Asuka continued to rage, a dark aura of malice around her. “Trash like that can only ever be considered for the trash they are!” She calmed only slightly. “How has been the progress of our defenses?”
“We have been attempting to bolster our forces, Oujo-sama,” the unlucky butler went on. “But without the Golden Pair our war potential is much lower, our best fighters are in the Cheerleading Club, Tea Ceremony Club, and… Fine Dining. We do have options, but they are limited for the time being until Shiratori-sama and Sanzenin-sama make full recoveries.”
Asuka’s anger became brittle with bitterness, as the realization that her high-born status made her school ill-suited for low-born war. Had she deigned to go to these commoner schools, what could she offer to this alliance? It savaged her pride to have to rely on Tomobiki but what choice did she have? Her right thumbnail was placed in her mouth as she chewed on it to try and calm herself.
“So you have heard the news regarding our would-be friends at Butsumetsu as well, I take it?” An equally handsome and poised young man with dark hair and a refined tone of speaking, Mendou Shuutaro, observed calmly as he walked into the domain of the White Lily, a lavish and stately office with a large oak desk and leather chairs as its centerpiece. “I could hear the shouting from the end of the hallway.”
The nail snapped as Asuka bit through it. Without care, she spat the nail out and turned to face Mendou. “Did you come here to tell me what I already knew from the beginning?”
“I came here because I believe our alliance can still bear the sweetened fruit we dreamt of when we shared the bitter sake.” Mendou replied, almost poetically. “The fools at Butsumetsu were all parasites clinging to Soban’s indomitable strength, and while their numbers were impressive they were no more threatening than the young men of Furinkan, or Kolkhoz’s Hockey Club.”
That reminded her of the Golden Pair and only caused Asuka’s mood to sour further. “So what, are you going to try and take control of this from me?”
“Not at all,” Mendou revealed. “I have come to you with good news. Tomobiki’s war potential is being reorganized and rebuilt, and I have the connections to ensure that our school will gain new… exotic students to augment our forces. But more than that, I have intelligence to share with you regarding a young couple who has come to Nerima.”
Asuka had held her poise through most of the information, raised her eyebrows. “I didn’t take you for a gossip Mendou.”
“I’m not one for it, but I always keep an open ear if it regards an enemy… or an enemy of an enemy.” Mendou rested a hand on the oak desk. “Two young people, a young man with a Chinese Bride, returned from China in search of Ranma Saotome. A look in the background of the young man revealed a rivalry spanning all of Junior High School.”
She had wanted to chide him for desperately chasing after some fool with a Chinese whore, but the information about their pursuit of Ranma Saotome stayed her ire. “Well now, isn’t this perhaps interesting?”
“Shall I make it tantalizing?” Mendou produced a series of photographs and laid them on the table.
They showed Hibiki Ryoga armed with an umbrella, a picture taken from low cover showing Katie holding the same umbrella above her head in curiousity as the Furinkan Student Council stood nearby an unconscious Soban, and then a third picture of Ryoga walking with Shampoo, now without his umbrella.
“This young man’s strength is monumental, with that umbrella he knocked out Soban in a single strike, from long range, a feat that Lum-san could only dream of without her electricity and flight abilities.”
If her interest was merely piqued before, it was now a burning inferno. “So, we are looking at some potential allies then.” She cared not one wit for the girl, but the man... well, now that was something of a fun distraction waiting to happen.
Another butler appeared then. “Asuka-sama, I have word from your father.”
“Go on and tell me now,” Asuka replied without looking at the man.
“With all this talk of fighting, and having heard what happened to Shiratori-sama, he has taken the liberty of hiring some instructors for you.”
She snorted and rolled her eyes, putting on a show of suffering for Mendou.
“As much of a pain it will surely be, you would do well to brush up on your physical prowess.” Mendou said seriously, looking off in the direction of Furinkan. “They have already been emboldened by their recent victory. Do not dally and leave yourself vulnerable.”
Asuka merely laughed. “As if I, Saginomiya Asuka, need to worry.” She finally looked at her butler. “I will be along shortly, to see what my father has wasted his money on now.”
“Enjoy your glibness while you can Saginomiya, with the destruction of Butsumetsu, we can’t afford to be arrogant.” Mendou said, as he turned to leave. “Prepare yourself so the waves of war don’t sweep you away.”
Asuka sighed, turning to the butler. “Well, show me to my teachers in the art of war then.”
It was the day after the destruction of Butsumetsu High, the old sign for the school now mounted on the wall like a trophy. Also present was a jacket from one of the punks, just as posterity to preserve the memory of the fallen school. It really tied the Student Council room together, or so Kodachi had said and no one wanted to go against her on it.
Anywho, the Student Council was holding a war meeting to go over the new things crushing Butsumetsu brought them. Nabiki had the floor since the logistics and data was her field of expertise. A 3D map of Nerima was projected into the air for helpful reference, as Nabiki began to disseminate.
“Well, everything breaks down like this.” She said, dots for Tomobiki, Kolkhoz, Butsumetsu and a dozen others. “Before our clash with Butsumetsu, there were twelve other schools rumored to be willing to leap to the call of Saginomiya if need be. Of course, this was contingent on Butsumetsu not being annihilated in six minutes and forty three seconds.” The dot for Butsumetsu was crossed out.
“Not surprisingly, all of the suspected dozen have gone quiet with talks of joining the conflict and they have begun to set up defenses just in case.” The twelve dots were crossed out, leaving Tomobiki and Kolkhoz. “And thus with one victory we also won twelve other battles, very efficient yes?”
“Yes indeed.” Kodachi said, looking at the map. “How do our forces fair under the news of our victory?”
“Morale is very high right now, it’s already been up there since the benefits to Ranma-kun’s training regimen began to show themselves.” Nabiki said, as a small cluster of dots at the location of Furinkan. “They’re almost combat ready, if we plan on splitting them between the two schools.”
“About that,” Katie said, shaking her head. “At this point, splitting them only helps our enemy. Kolkhoz is the weaker of the two right?”
“That’s correct.” Nabiki said, allowing Katie to have the floor.
“So let’s just wash them away under the tide of our whole forces.” Katie reasoned. “They’re a bunch of athletic clubs, I doubt they have even a single club for martial arts.”
“By all account this is correct, the closest they have to something for combat is an ice hockey club.” Nabiki said, shrugging a little.
“Ice Hockey?” Ranma asked, a little confused.
“Fighting is not only allowed but encouraged.” Akane explained. “In fact, you can be disqualified for refusing to fight.”
“Dude, that’s awesome.” Ranma said, drawing a nod of agreement from Katie.
“Japan is great like that.” Katie said, before shrugging. “So, I guess we can dispense with being fancy and march our forces over them right?”
“As long as the rest of us keep Tomobiki still.” Ranma said, rubbing his chin. “The vulnerability of Kolkhoz is obvious to see.”
“Kolkhoz lost its two best fighters a couple months back.” Nabiki mentioned. “The Golden Pair, one of the few martial arts figure skaters in Japan.”
“More like the only, most of their matches were against ordinary people,” Katie said, frowning a bit. “But they’re on the shelf so they’re nothing to concern ourselves with.”
“We need field commanders though, to help keep the morale up.” Akane said, rubbing her chin. “If there’s one person we need leading, it’s Hatanaka-kun.” Akane tapped the board and a picture of a brown-haired, brown-eyed young man in boxing shorts and gloves appeared, with the words Boxing Club Captain under his name.
“Kosaku eh?” Ranma said, nodding his head. “Definitely, him and the Boxing Club alone would deal heavy damage to Kolkhoz.”
“He’s made an impression on you has he Saotome Ranma?” Kodachi asked, before she nodded as well. “He has taken this challenge seriously, someone to surely show the potential of Furinkan.”
“That’s true,” Ranma said, tapping a button and switching to some video of the Boxing Club practicing. “They’ve already incorporated the health routines into their normal boxing stuff. As a result, they’ve gone from a bunch of useless goons who would be laughed out of a tournament to someone who could take Nationals.”
“A magnificent transformation is it not?” Kodachi asked, drawing agreeing nods from her council. “Very well, Hatanaka Kosaku shall be rewarded for his diligence. We shall host a banquet for those who will be leaders on our field of battle with Kolkhoz.”
“The only question is who goes to Tomobiki and who goes to Kolkhoz from our little group.” Nabiki said, before smirking. “Better translated, who amongst our three warriors wants to fight Lum Invader the most?”
Akane raised her hand. “I’ll go!”
Katie looked at her. “You sure, Akaneko?”
“Well, yes,” Akane replied. “She doesn’t seem like a bad person, aside from being a space alien. Fighting her might be fun.”
“That’s Akane, and she should have backup just in case.” Nabiki said, crunching numbers at high speed. “Especially if she gets held up by Lum Invader.”
“We’re not trying to take them out, but we don’t want them running up our boys’ backs as they take out Kolkhoz.” Ranma said, before nodding. “I’ll back her up then.”
Katie mulled it over. “You know, if any cowards stream over there, me being there waiting on them will be too much fun.”
“And Nabiki-san shall keep watch over the battle to help it flow in the proper manner.” Kodachi announced. “Her prudent judgment and potential use of her technological assets will be an invaluable force multiplier for us.”
Nabiki smiled. “I’ll be great if I can get another drone from your Sugar-Momma.”
At that, Katie rolled her eyes. “You know my price, and hers.”
Nabiki nodded. “Sold.”
Well, Katie’s Saturday night was now full.
At that moment there was a room-rattling slam that made all five of the Student Council members jump. Followed by another one. It was coming from the wall adjacent to the door… like someone was trying to smash through the wall with sheer brute force.
Had the school not been rebuilt to take into consideration extremely powerful martial artists, it would’ve crumbled like dry, unreinforced plaster.
“Uh… okay?” Ranma asked, before he heard muffled swears in Chinese through the door. Immediately he stiffened, his skin going a shade whiter as the swearing came closer to the door, then stopped.
Then the door was swung open, and a healthy-figured, purple-haired girl dressed in a pink cheongsam and yellow pants, carrying a pair of red and pink melon hammers walked into the room and looked at the five of them.
“I beg your pardon?” Kodachi asked the Chinese woman, who immediately pointed one of the melon hammers at Katie.
Xian Pu of the Joketsuzoku, often mistakenly referred to as Shampoo until it stuck, narrowed her eyes at the other foreign girl, before she spoke. “Tell me where RicePony is, right now.”
Ranma had gone pale as a sheet. “Oh… fuck.”
RicePony was the handle he had chosen for his girl form’s gaming channel. RicePony appeared alongside BansheeDeadSix in more than one video in the couple of weeks since she started the channel. And Katie, despite not having a channel at all, did appear onscreen with Misao… generally for stuff like gift box openings and reaction clips.
Shampoo was going to try to track down his girl form through her!
Akane, who didn’t understand Chinese, shot up from her chair. “Who the heck are you?!”
Katie, who was raised by a Chinese speaking mother and thus did understand Chinese, answered in kind. “You need to get out of here, this is a school and we’re in the middle of a council meeting.”
“I am not leaving until you tell me where RicePony is, even if I have to beat it out of you,” Shampoo said without reservation.
Katie didn’t back down and fired back a threat of her own. “You do not want to give me an excuse, because I’m always looking for one.”
To emphasize her threat, she stood up, making her height and physique well known to the much shorter Chinese Amazon. Akane immediately assumed an aggressive stance, but Ranma remained in his seat… in fact by Nabiki’s observation, he was doing what he could to not be noticed.
“Your threat is as ridiculous as your appearance.” Shampoo said in a dismissive sniff. “Though I welcome your futile attempts to protect RicePony. I look forward to presenting her with your broken corpse.”
She made the mistake of blinking, and in the next instant, Katie was there in her face, fist reaching for the Chinese girl’s face at a blinding speed. It missed but it was close thing, sending Shampoo skittering back a little, head low before she raised her head and showed a surprise to those watching.
“Wow, I thought Senpai missed.” Akane murmured in shock.
“Only grazed her.” Katie said in disappointment. “Want to talk more shit and leave yourself open to get hit?”
“So you have a little bit of speed.” Shampoo said without concern, wiping the blood away all nonchalant like. “It’s nothing to concern myself with.”
The brief second her arm covered her eyes was all Katie needed to clear the gap between them again. Another punch came flying at Shampoo’s face, but this one was cleanly evaded. “Oh!”
Katie jerked herself back and to the side, avoiding one of the melon hammers. Then turned and slammed the back of her fist into the other, a loud clang sounding before the hammer cracked and split much like its namesake.
Shampoo withdrew a pace, this time keeping her eyes locked upon Katie as she abandoned the broken melon hammer. This girl was strong, very, very strong.
Katie’s lips were turned upward in a slight curve. “What was that about nothing to concern yourself with?”
Shampoo, returning the smile, twirled the second melon hammer and then let it slip from her fingers straight for Katie, who ignored it completely and moved from its path before it could fill her vision. She punched straight for Shampoo’s face, and the blow was deflected up and above her head by her crossed forearms. Pulling back, the two began exchanging quick blows, Shampoo deflecting Katie’s strikes with finesse while her own attacks were more brushed aside with brute force from Katie’s strong arms.
Katie then caught a chop for her throat and attempted to turn and throw Shampoo onto her back. Catching herself on her feet instead, Shampoo rolled herself over, twisting free of her grip and kept spinning into a back kick that Katie blocked with her raised forearm, both girls pushing each other back.
Kodachi was impressed. “A magnificent fighter…”
Ranma was tense as he watched the exchange of blows.
Shampoo adjusted her stance, lowering her body and bringing her hands forward, causing Katie to tense as well. She couldn’t help but be a little cocky. “I get it now, you got started in Muay Thai, you are all about full force. I know how to beat you, now.”
That looked like a Southern Style stance, Katie didn’t like fighting Southern Styles… because that usually meant they-
Shampoo was attacking again, but her strikes were much different, they were like rifle shots… and like rifle shots they were being specifically aimed.
“Ah shit, ah shit!” Katie thought as she quite rapidly moved to parry the strikes, aiming her own at Shampoo’s wrists and arms to deflect her fingers away from the vital points that she was targeting.
Akane’s eyes grew large when she saw the sudden defensive shift in Katie’s style against the intruder. She was doing everything she could now to avoid being tagged by Shampoo’s strikes, while leaving herself no room of her own to attack. “Something’s wrong.”
Katie dodged another strike, and this time watched Shampoo carefully, and the girl’s attacks suddenly slowed down to something much more manageable. Still it was difficult, her attempt at grabbing Shampoo’s wrist was promptly foiled, and she had to weave her entire body to avoid a pair of counter strikes before she could fire back with her own punch.
Shampoo caught and forced down the blow with with one hand while her other hand came down in a windmill motion that Katie slapped aside with her other hand, and used the turn to swing a backward spin kick that Shampoo leaned back to avoid in a display of agile flexibility. She came back just as fast, and Katie strong armed deflected two more quick pokes aimed for her shoulder blades.
“She’s good… she’s really good…!” Katie thought, thinking right away of Ranma, before she finally realized that a sacrifice had to be made, and she let her guard slip long enough for Shampoo’s next jab to tag her right shoulder.
Shampoo’s eyes lit up when she saw her blow connect, but in her moment of triumph came the end of the fight, as Katie suddenly charged forward to grab one of her long purple tresses, and pulled Shampoo forward into her jerked up knee, hitting Shampoo in the crotch something fierce and causing her to collapse to the floor, groaning in pain.
“Will you calm the fuck down, you crazy bitch?!” Katie snapped at Shampoo in Chinese. “I just told you that you needed to leave!”
Shampoo rolled over, getting back up. “You are either an obstacle in my way, or a helping hand in pointing me where I need to go. Now, where is RicePony?”
“I. Said. Leave,” Katie growled as she clutched her right arm with her left… much louder than she meant to. It was about then she realized that she wasn’t the one growling. Turning around, her eyes grew large and she stepped back.
Kodachi, Akane, and Nabiki all gave a start when they heard the growl of an animal, and Ranma recognized it as well as a large majestic black wolf, wearing a large yellow bandana tied around its neck strode in, growling at Shampoo with its teeth bared. Since it seemed to be pissed at Shampoo, it didn’t prompt them to move to act.
Ranma was up on his feet, amazed to see the powerful creature–an old friend from his trip to China. “Garou…!”
However, the most dramatic reaction came from the person that the wolf faced. Shampoo’s sudden shift in posture was fascinating, looking like a child who just got caught by their parents being bad. And much like an intervening parent, the wolf sauntered over to the Chinese girl and simply took a mouthful of the seat of her pants and began to drag her away.
“No! No! But husband, I have lead on Red! She is named RicePony on internet! Giant girl know where she live!” Shampoo pleaded in clunky Japanese and flailed her arms while being careful not to move her legs too much lest the seat of her pants be torn off.
The wolf simply growled something that seemed to say, “I don’t care, we’re leaving!”
“But…! But…!” Shampoo could only wail as she was drug out of the council room.
“… Okay, I’m pretty sure I thought we switched from sativa after the whole blunt-smoking alien thing.” Katie muttered to herself. That was weird even after the parkouring panda and she felt like the drugs just weren’t going to compare to reality.
“Senpai!” Akane called, coming over by her. “Are you all right?”
“It’s not important right now,” Katie said, while conspicuously gripping her arm. “We have more important concerns.”
Kodachi agreed. “That is correct! A martial artist of that girl’s caliber running loose in the wild is an intolerable threat to my ambition… tell me, Izurando Katie, who was that girl and who was she after?”
Nabiki turned to Ranma. “I think that’s a question Ranma can answer better.”
Kodachi looked in his direction. “Can he now?”
Ranma grimaced. “Well…”
“You knew the girl that just interrupted the meeting.” Nabiki pressed him.
Akane whirled upon him. “Is this true?”
Ranma looked uncertainly towards Kodachi for a second. “Well… it’s a matter that’s kind of personal, Kodachi-san. I can’t exactly be letting people know about it.”
“In the interest of resolving this matter swiftly.” Kodachi said, standing up. “I vow that nothing that is said will leave this room, upon my life.” She gestured emphatically to Ranma and the others. “I am burdening you all with my ambitions, it is only fair that I share in your burdens, is it not?”
To show her sincerity, she quickly and quietly had the Gentlemen leave the room and shut off the security cameras and listening equipment taking notes. Once in privacy, she gestured for Ranma to continue.
Ranma stared at her, before he closed his eyes and nodded. “Okay, so when I was traveling in China before I came here… I was cursed to transform into a girl when I doused with cold water.”
Kodachi stared at him, rather surprised by this revelation. “Truly?”
“I’d demonstrate it, but… it’s a bit of a hassle. Everyone else can vouch for me, though,” Ranma replied.
“I really can,” Katie said. “I’ve seen it myself.”
Akane and Nabiki agreed, they’d seen it too since they’ve come to know Ranma.
Kodachi, rather than push the subject and reveal any skepticism (there was plenty) elected to go forward assuming she believed him. “And this has to do with this girl?”
Ranma sighed in relief and continued. “The guide decided to take us over to this village that might’ve been able to help called Joketsuzoku-”
“She must be the person your dad was trying to convince us attacked him.” Akane said, upon hearing the name of the village.
“… Yeah I can see how he’d think that. She’s been chasing me since China, because I beat her in a fight when I was in the form of a girl.” Ranma continued, not minding the interruption since it meant he didn’t have explain it. “Apparently, you beat a warrior from their village and they’re obligated to hunt you down and kill you.”
Katie’s eyebrows flattened out as she got something from this. “And lemme guess, you didn’t bother to ask the guide about any peculiar laws or anything you should watch for just in case?”
“It… well I was incredibly pissed about the curse so it slipped my mind.” Ranma said, a little defensive.
“So why did you have to fight her?” Katie asked, crossing her arms.
“… We kind of ate her victory feast? We were starving and it was out there in the open...” Ranma shrank under the glares of the four girls.
“Honestly!” Kodachi snapped.
Nabiki blew out a sigh. “Ranma-kun, please remember that just because food is left sitting out that doesn’t mean you can just eat it.”
Akane was more concerned about Shampoo. “So she’s going to keep coming after you huh?”
“Unless something suddenly changes.” Ranma said miserably.
“Which isn’t a good thing at all,” Ranma said.
“What about the wolf?” Kodachi asked. “You referred to him by a name, do you have a history with that handsome beast as well?”
“Yeah. After I started trying to get away from Shampoo, Garou began showing up to help me fight Shampoo off. We travelled together all the way until we reached the East Sea, and we really bonded on our way to the coast.” Ranma said, looking thoughtful. “We got separated when we were leaving, Shampoo caught up with us at the shore and he elected to stay back and delay her one final time…”
Nabiki bought up a salient point. “Apparently the fight went well, because they’re married now.”
“Oh, so that wasn’t the sativa.” Katie muttered.
“Married to a wolf, though?” Ranma asked.
Akane looked confused before she looked at Ranma and had an epiphany. “Jusenkyo!”
“Someone with a curse huh?” Nabiki asked, pursing her lips.
“But who?” Katie asked, looking around.
Ranma paused, thinking for a moment, remembering the yellow bandanna around the wolf’s neck and the sudden umbrella attack on Soban…
“I think,” he said, drawing all their eyes. “That the wolf was someone I know, but I’m gonna need to find him and confirm it.”
Nabiki saw an opportunity and went for it. “I’ll come along to help you look.”
“Thanks,” Ranma said gratefully to her.
“If it is a friend of yours, then confirm it fast because if she’s coming after me to get to you then we got a whole different problem. I don’t want this bitch following me home and dragging Misao into this bullshit” Katie said to Ranma as she looked at her arm.
Akane then finally noticed it. “Senpai, can you move your arm?”
“Unfortunately, no,” she muttered. “If I have to say something against my fighting style, it’s that I’m kind of a bad match against those esoteric types who like to hit pressure points and bullshit like that. I need to get this patched up and reassess how I’m going to deal with her.”
Akane nodded in understanding. “Yeah, but before that, we need to get you over to Dr. Tofu’s and get your arm fixed.”
And that just soured Katie further. “… Oh, great.”
Senpai
A Ranma ½ Story
Chapter 8/?
|The Elite Four of Furinkan Academy|
On an unusually broad and windswept swept field of knee-high grass for such a thing to be located anywhere in the city of Tokyo, Kodachi Kuno stood alone against a considerable number of young men dressed in stylized black school uniforms. There were a good number of them, and they all looked about as fearsome as tough delinquents would look if they had maximum style going for them.
Kodachi, however, was amused more than intimidated. Though it was a sardonic amusement, for the full weight of her disgust was targeted at the dull-witted and utterly hideous leader of these delinquents, a young man aptly named Soban.
“So it has come to my attention that Butsumetsu High School is seeking an alliance with Tomobiki… in spite of recent events between your houses.” Kodachi intoned.
Soban, who was a man of few words because he only knew so many, chose not to speak as a pretty boy delinquent who was his right hand man stepped forward. “Well there’s a School War about to go down and the toughest School ain’t invited to the festivities? You rich brats can pose and posture all you want, but in the end it’s gonna be us low-born who rewrite the maps, so we’re here to make a deal with you.”
“Oh?” Kodachi asked.
“You make an alliance with us, Furinkan, or we make good on our signals and mosey over to back up Tomobiki. It wouldn’t be hard for us, we got more muscle than you and Tomobiki combined, and one of Tomobiki’s star students is real sweet on the boss here.”
Kodachi took one look at Soban and rolled her eyes. “Oh, I’m sure he is.”
“So what do you say?” The pretty boy asked.
Kodachi mulled over the threat, before she let out a hum. “I say… that you are not even fit to be Alligator shit.”
The boys didn’t take too kindly to that response, a loud and angry “EHHHHHHH?!” rising to a pitch before it devolved into random jeers and insults. Soban’s pretty boy stepped up, gesturing rudely to Kodachi.
“Alligator shit, huh?! Then let’s see how it is when we trash your school! Butsumetsu High School ain’t nothin’ ta fuck with!”
Kodachi chuckled. “Fufufu… plebeians like yourselves could only dream of being beaten up at a Wu Tang Concert.”
Furious, the pretty boy looked to Soban. “Boss! Get in there and show her the power of a guy who fought for an hour straight against Lum Invader!”
Soban, an extremely fat and mostly bald (he still had two hairs atop his head, two!) with a set of massive fish lips that took up most of his face and a pair of small round sunglasses that covered his beady eyes, stepped up and cracked his massive knuckles.
“Fufu… you say you have faced Lum Invader?” Kodachi asked with an amused smirk on her face. “Then this will be a good exercise for us, to see how we will measure up against her later.”
The pretty boy didn’t take that well. “You think you can face the man who fought Lum Invader and live?” He was even pointing a finger at her all serious like.
“It won’t matter if I can or not, because I have no intention of fighting him one on one. That is not what I came out here for,” she revealed. “I am merely here to let my Student Council annihilate your war potential so I can carry on without concern from you.”
There was a whistling, followed by a mighty dust creating impact between Kodachi and the rival school. The wind that swept the field cleared it quickly, revealing Ranma, Akane, Katie, and Nabiki standing under inexplicable spotlights that shone down from the low, dark clouds that hung over the field. Akane held a shinai across her shoulders, Nabiki was crunching the numbers on a cellphone, Katie was tightening bandages around her palms and wrists, and Ranma was cracking his knuckles.
“Yo, Soban! Still as ugly and bald as I remember!” Ranma called with a joking smile on his face.
“I’m actually glad most of the boys at Furinkan were actually human.” Akane grumbled.
Nabiki was doing calculations on a cellphone. “Yep, this is the entire Butsumetsu fighting force. The School is currently empty.”
“Don’t have to worry about stragglers huh?” Katie asked with a bloodthirsty chuckle. “Let’s see if they live up to their rep.”
Kodachi suddenly dropped back, landing in the reclining position in the arms of two of her Gentlemen, as a third offered her a cup of tea that she took gratefully from him. “Even if they do not, I expect to be entertained.”
“God, I love her,” Katie said as she got ready.
“You say that, when I’m standing here?” Nabiki teased.
Soban looked at the four students, and then around, a little confused. “That’s it?”
His right hand was more livid than confused. “You’re really asking for it, huh, thinking your guys are that hot?!”
“A flea like you hardly requires more than the force it takes to crush you.” Kodachi said, sipping her tea. “But please, do keep posturing, maybe you can bore us into submission?”
“KICK THEIR ASSES!” With that, the floodgates came open and four-hundred angry young men charged the paltry line that four people were expected to hold.
Of the four members of the Student Council, it was Nabiki of all people who performed the first move, opening an app on her phone and performing a swipe on the screen, targeting the group of charging youths. “Incoming~”
From the clouds, a single missile broke through and oriented itself before heading straight towards the leading edge of the charging line. Before it hit the ground, it opened up and scattered all over the area of charging steel ball bearings that pelted those who charged into the rain of steel and caused others to trip, slip, and stumble first over the bearings and then over each other’s bodies.
“God I love technology.” Nabiki said, blowing a kiss at her phone.
With the initial charge sputtering a tad, the other three began to make their moves. Akane waded forward, smashing through the horde of boys with precise, looping swings of her shinai. Bodies began to litter the air as she tore into the human wave before her.
Even as they hit the floor, Katie was adding to the unexpected air traffic, grabbing and throwing her opponents as they rushed towards her, only striking those who attempted something fancy of their own, like the dumbass with a heavy duty chain who tried to swing it into her side. She caught that weak sauce in her left hand and drove her right elbow into his left cheek, shattering his jaw and sending him twirling away like a drunken ballerina.
Ranma was exerting a similar lack of effort, his hands darting in and out of his pockets almost casually to block, deflect or strike while he hopped and danced around the crowd of attackers that funneled themselves towards him. One guy with a 2x4 of wood let out a yell when he thought he had Ranma’s blind spot, and for his complete failure to achieve surprise was kicked so many times in such short notice that he passed out standing up in the windup position of his swing.
A few young men who managed to escape the whirlwind of bodies courtesy of the actual fighters of the Student Council found themselves with only Nabiki in between them and Kodachi. A shout to rush them before it was too late came too late, as Nabiki’s casual swiping of her smartphone brought more missiles down onto them. Unlike the last one, these exploded with considerable concussive force, flinging students this way and that.
A speck of dirt landed on Nabiki’s shoulder from the explosion, which was promptly dusted off her shoulder by another of Kodachi’s Gentlemen. She smiled graciously to him. “Why thank you.”
“It was my pleasure, Tendo Nabiki-sama,” the Gentleman replied.
Nabiki found it harder to disagree with Katie’s pronouncement of love for Kodachi. “This is going fourteen seconds faster than our golden estimates.”
“Only that much?” Kodachi hummed in surprise.
“Well, those three are holding back to draw it out.” Nabiki said even as Akane was basically pitching people into the air for Ranma and Katie to punch or kick other people up into them.
“All three are eager to see how this Soban fights.” Kodachi surmised, the promise of fighting someone who fought that well against Tomobiki’s strongest was an attractive prospect.
“Like putting A5 beef in front of starving dogs.” Nabiki agreed, peering into the chaos to see what the enemy commander was doing. There were too many bodies hitting the floor, so she looked at her phone, and was provided an isometric bird’s eye view of the gang leader, who was wading towards the fight even as a lot of his guys were running away from it.
“It would seem he has some measure of temerity.” Kodachi said, slightly impressed that he was continuing to fight when it was obvious they were outmatched.
Nabiki pondered it. “I think it’s a case of him being too stupid to realize the danger he’s in, honestly.”
Indeed, for the danger was close as Ranma melted out of the maelstrom and came face to face with the hulking Soban. “Hey there, big fella… it’s been years.”
Soban blinked behind his tiny sunglasses, before recollection somehow came to him. “Oi! Saotome?! That’s you?!”
“Yeah there, guy! I was wondering if you’d even made it to High School, since they held you back like three times in 8th Grade,” he replied.
“Who the heck is this guy?” Soban’s friend asked.
“Someone I never had ta mess with,” Soban replied. “This kid’s Ranma Saotome, the only other guy in Junior High School to never go hungry.”
Soban’s Lieutenant paled and then looked at Ranma. “This guy…?”
“For real though, this is a treat, I always wanted to fight you but I had to settle for making wall art with your boys. This is gonna be great!”
Katie then walked over. “Well, don’t rough him up too much… I want to take a crack at him too.”
Soban’s Lieutenant looked between Ranma and Katie, then at the strewn around other students. “What… where the heck is everybody else?”
Ranma and Katie looked to the right, and found Akane in the middle of violently, gleefully smashing her shinai into the remaining few conscious young men of Butsumetsu as the chorus Rob Zombie’s Dragula blared.
“She wasn’t really interested in fighting you,” Katie revealed.
Soban looked, almost solemnly at the devastation, before he looked down at his opponents. “You guys… you trashed my boys.”
“Oh please,” Ranma insisted. “Tell me all about what you want to do about it.”
Katie was in full agreement. “Come on buddy, I wanna see it too… what’s the legend of Butsumetsu got to show us? A guy that Lum Invader couldn’t even put down after an hour of non-stop fighting?”
The towering Butsumetsu’s already ugly face became a twisted mockery of anger, as he raised his arms and then let out a mighty kiai that sounded more like a monster’s roar. “GURAAAAAAAH!”
Kodachi could hear the roar from where she stood, and looked on in interest. “Oh, ho?”
He then curled his arms inward, his body tensing up, his muscles rippling and bulging, his skin becoming like iron.
Katie bit her lower lip, she might actually have to hit a little hard to make this guy feel it.
The fire was lit in Ranma’s eyes, as he assumed a fighting stance. “Oh yeah, this isn’t going to be-”
A projectile, whistling through the air at high speed then cut through the air narrowly above Ranma’s head and plowed straight into the hulking Soban’s forehead, the force of the impact lifting the massive gang leader off his feet and sending him sailing through the air before he crashed onto his back with a great cloud of dust. He was out cold before he hit the ground.
“-Anti-climatic… at… all…” Ranma said, before the projectile in question finished flipping through the air hit the ground point down with a thud. “What the hell?”
“This is a what the fuck, actually,” Katie said.
“AHHH BOSS!” Soban’s second in command screamed in terror.
Kodachi and Nabiki were similarly surprised by the intervening object and looked around.
There was no sign of its source, even when Nabiki looked at her bird’s eye view. She looked over at Kodachi and shrugged her shoulders. “No skin off my teeth, but…”
Kodachi rose from her seat of Gentlemen, and returned her cup of tea to the specimen who served it to her. “Curious!”
Akane ran over to Ranma and Katie. “Ranma! Senpai! What just happened?!”
Ranma looked at the big guy of Butsumetsu. “Our fight just got stolen.”
Katie nodded as she walked over to the well embedded projectile that did it, and looked back towards the direction it came from. As with Nabiki, she saw no sign of the thrower or launcher or whatever could do this, and reached down to grab the projectile by the handle.
The first thing that surprised her was its weight. “… You know what? Fuck this fight, whoever could lug around this and throw it like that is way more interesting!”
She then pulled it out and held it up, and she only grew more interested at it. “Holy shit…”
It was a large, old fashioned umbrella. Made of extremely dense metal and tough fabric. Seeing it, Ranma’s own expression flashed to surprise.
“Holy shit!” He said, and Akane and Katie looked over to him.
“You familiar with this?” The latter girl asked.
Ranma nodded. “You bet I am… this belongs to someone I know, and someone I went to school with ol’ Soban here.”
Katie’s eyes widened in recognition. “Wait… you mean… that guy?”
Ranma nodded. “Yeah, that guy.”
He turned and looked back towards the direction the umbrella came from. “Looks like after all this time, Ryoga’s finally found me.”
“Ryoga? Who’s Ryoga?” Akane asked.
Ranma turned to her and smiled big. “The only person other than Senpai here to make fighting fun.”
|The Oncoming Storm|
It didn’t take long before the news of Butsumetsu’s complete annihilation at the hands of Furinkan to reach the ears of the respective enemy generals. If they could really be called that, considering Mendou’s grasp on Tomobiki was tenuous at best and Asuka was reigning over Kolkhoz more or less by default. Nevertheless, they were given the news at roughly the same time.
Their reactions couldn’t be more diametrically opposed.
“THOSE WORTHLESS DOGS!” Saginomiya Asuka roared in frustrated anger. “They make all this noise about how they deserve to be included in this farce and this is what happens? Annihilated in mere minutes?! The toughest school eh?! Feh!” The tall, blonde-haired, blue-eyed maiden dressed in an elegant white gown was so angry her normally beautiful features were twisted into some kind of nightmarish scowl, the veins in her face giving it more detail than it probably should have.
“O-oujo-sama!” Her butler, the one who drew the short lot in having to tell her the bad news, cried. “There was nothing to be done! They refused to answer our request to discuss their possible addition.” This was a lie, the Butsumetsu punks had wanted their boss to get a date from THE Asuka Saginomiya just for showing up.
“And this is what they get for their hubris!” Asuka continued to rage, a dark aura of malice around her. “Trash like that can only ever be considered for the trash they are!” She calmed only slightly. “How has been the progress of our defenses?”
“We have been attempting to bolster our forces, Oujo-sama,” the unlucky butler went on. “But without the Golden Pair our war potential is much lower, our best fighters are in the Cheerleading Club, Tea Ceremony Club, and… Fine Dining. We do have options, but they are limited for the time being until Shiratori-sama and Sanzenin-sama make full recoveries.”
Asuka’s anger became brittle with bitterness, as the realization that her high-born status made her school ill-suited for low-born war. Had she deigned to go to these commoner schools, what could she offer to this alliance? It savaged her pride to have to rely on Tomobiki but what choice did she have? Her right thumbnail was placed in her mouth as she chewed on it to try and calm herself.
“So you have heard the news regarding our would-be friends at Butsumetsu as well, I take it?” An equally handsome and poised young man with dark hair and a refined tone of speaking, Mendou Shuutaro, observed calmly as he walked into the domain of the White Lily, a lavish and stately office with a large oak desk and leather chairs as its centerpiece. “I could hear the shouting from the end of the hallway.”
The nail snapped as Asuka bit through it. Without care, she spat the nail out and turned to face Mendou. “Did you come here to tell me what I already knew from the beginning?”
“I came here because I believe our alliance can still bear the sweetened fruit we dreamt of when we shared the bitter sake.” Mendou replied, almost poetically. “The fools at Butsumetsu were all parasites clinging to Soban’s indomitable strength, and while their numbers were impressive they were no more threatening than the young men of Furinkan, or Kolkhoz’s Hockey Club.”
That reminded her of the Golden Pair and only caused Asuka’s mood to sour further. “So what, are you going to try and take control of this from me?”
“Not at all,” Mendou revealed. “I have come to you with good news. Tomobiki’s war potential is being reorganized and rebuilt, and I have the connections to ensure that our school will gain new… exotic students to augment our forces. But more than that, I have intelligence to share with you regarding a young couple who has come to Nerima.”
Asuka had held her poise through most of the information, raised her eyebrows. “I didn’t take you for a gossip Mendou.”
“I’m not one for it, but I always keep an open ear if it regards an enemy… or an enemy of an enemy.” Mendou rested a hand on the oak desk. “Two young people, a young man with a Chinese Bride, returned from China in search of Ranma Saotome. A look in the background of the young man revealed a rivalry spanning all of Junior High School.”
She had wanted to chide him for desperately chasing after some fool with a Chinese whore, but the information about their pursuit of Ranma Saotome stayed her ire. “Well now, isn’t this perhaps interesting?”
“Shall I make it tantalizing?” Mendou produced a series of photographs and laid them on the table.
They showed Hibiki Ryoga armed with an umbrella, a picture taken from low cover showing Katie holding the same umbrella above her head in curiousity as the Furinkan Student Council stood nearby an unconscious Soban, and then a third picture of Ryoga walking with Shampoo, now without his umbrella.
“This young man’s strength is monumental, with that umbrella he knocked out Soban in a single strike, from long range, a feat that Lum-san could only dream of without her electricity and flight abilities.”
If her interest was merely piqued before, it was now a burning inferno. “So, we are looking at some potential allies then.” She cared not one wit for the girl, but the man... well, now that was something of a fun distraction waiting to happen.
Another butler appeared then. “Asuka-sama, I have word from your father.”
“Go on and tell me now,” Asuka replied without looking at the man.
“With all this talk of fighting, and having heard what happened to Shiratori-sama, he has taken the liberty of hiring some instructors for you.”
She snorted and rolled her eyes, putting on a show of suffering for Mendou.
“As much of a pain it will surely be, you would do well to brush up on your physical prowess.” Mendou said seriously, looking off in the direction of Furinkan. “They have already been emboldened by their recent victory. Do not dally and leave yourself vulnerable.”
Asuka merely laughed. “As if I, Saginomiya Asuka, need to worry.” She finally looked at her butler. “I will be along shortly, to see what my father has wasted his money on now.”
“Enjoy your glibness while you can Saginomiya, with the destruction of Butsumetsu, we can’t afford to be arrogant.” Mendou said, as he turned to leave. “Prepare yourself so the waves of war don’t sweep you away.”
Asuka sighed, turning to the butler. “Well, show me to my teachers in the art of war then.”
|Order of Battle|
It was the day after the destruction of Butsumetsu High, the old sign for the school now mounted on the wall like a trophy. Also present was a jacket from one of the punks, just as posterity to preserve the memory of the fallen school. It really tied the Student Council room together, or so Kodachi had said and no one wanted to go against her on it.
Anywho, the Student Council was holding a war meeting to go over the new things crushing Butsumetsu brought them. Nabiki had the floor since the logistics and data was her field of expertise. A 3D map of Nerima was projected into the air for helpful reference, as Nabiki began to disseminate.
“Well, everything breaks down like this.” She said, dots for Tomobiki, Kolkhoz, Butsumetsu and a dozen others. “Before our clash with Butsumetsu, there were twelve other schools rumored to be willing to leap to the call of Saginomiya if need be. Of course, this was contingent on Butsumetsu not being annihilated in six minutes and forty three seconds.” The dot for Butsumetsu was crossed out.
“Not surprisingly, all of the suspected dozen have gone quiet with talks of joining the conflict and they have begun to set up defenses just in case.” The twelve dots were crossed out, leaving Tomobiki and Kolkhoz. “And thus with one victory we also won twelve other battles, very efficient yes?”
“Yes indeed.” Kodachi said, looking at the map. “How do our forces fair under the news of our victory?”
“Morale is very high right now, it’s already been up there since the benefits to Ranma-kun’s training regimen began to show themselves.” Nabiki said, as a small cluster of dots at the location of Furinkan. “They’re almost combat ready, if we plan on splitting them between the two schools.”
“About that,” Katie said, shaking her head. “At this point, splitting them only helps our enemy. Kolkhoz is the weaker of the two right?”
“That’s correct.” Nabiki said, allowing Katie to have the floor.
“So let’s just wash them away under the tide of our whole forces.” Katie reasoned. “They’re a bunch of athletic clubs, I doubt they have even a single club for martial arts.”
“By all account this is correct, the closest they have to something for combat is an ice hockey club.” Nabiki said, shrugging a little.
“Ice Hockey?” Ranma asked, a little confused.
“Fighting is not only allowed but encouraged.” Akane explained. “In fact, you can be disqualified for refusing to fight.”
“Dude, that’s awesome.” Ranma said, drawing a nod of agreement from Katie.
“Japan is great like that.” Katie said, before shrugging. “So, I guess we can dispense with being fancy and march our forces over them right?”
“As long as the rest of us keep Tomobiki still.” Ranma said, rubbing his chin. “The vulnerability of Kolkhoz is obvious to see.”
“Kolkhoz lost its two best fighters a couple months back.” Nabiki mentioned. “The Golden Pair, one of the few martial arts figure skaters in Japan.”
“More like the only, most of their matches were against ordinary people,” Katie said, frowning a bit. “But they’re on the shelf so they’re nothing to concern ourselves with.”
“We need field commanders though, to help keep the morale up.” Akane said, rubbing her chin. “If there’s one person we need leading, it’s Hatanaka-kun.” Akane tapped the board and a picture of a brown-haired, brown-eyed young man in boxing shorts and gloves appeared, with the words Boxing Club Captain under his name.
“Kosaku eh?” Ranma said, nodding his head. “Definitely, him and the Boxing Club alone would deal heavy damage to Kolkhoz.”
“He’s made an impression on you has he Saotome Ranma?” Kodachi asked, before she nodded as well. “He has taken this challenge seriously, someone to surely show the potential of Furinkan.”
“That’s true,” Ranma said, tapping a button and switching to some video of the Boxing Club practicing. “They’ve already incorporated the health routines into their normal boxing stuff. As a result, they’ve gone from a bunch of useless goons who would be laughed out of a tournament to someone who could take Nationals.”
“A magnificent transformation is it not?” Kodachi asked, drawing agreeing nods from her council. “Very well, Hatanaka Kosaku shall be rewarded for his diligence. We shall host a banquet for those who will be leaders on our field of battle with Kolkhoz.”
“The only question is who goes to Tomobiki and who goes to Kolkhoz from our little group.” Nabiki said, before smirking. “Better translated, who amongst our three warriors wants to fight Lum Invader the most?”
Akane raised her hand. “I’ll go!”
Katie looked at her. “You sure, Akaneko?”
“Well, yes,” Akane replied. “She doesn’t seem like a bad person, aside from being a space alien. Fighting her might be fun.”
“That’s Akane, and she should have backup just in case.” Nabiki said, crunching numbers at high speed. “Especially if she gets held up by Lum Invader.”
“We’re not trying to take them out, but we don’t want them running up our boys’ backs as they take out Kolkhoz.” Ranma said, before nodding. “I’ll back her up then.”
Katie mulled it over. “You know, if any cowards stream over there, me being there waiting on them will be too much fun.”
“And Nabiki-san shall keep watch over the battle to help it flow in the proper manner.” Kodachi announced. “Her prudent judgment and potential use of her technological assets will be an invaluable force multiplier for us.”
Nabiki smiled. “I’ll be great if I can get another drone from your Sugar-Momma.”
At that, Katie rolled her eyes. “You know my price, and hers.”
Nabiki nodded. “Sold.”
Well, Katie’s Saturday night was now full.
At that moment there was a room-rattling slam that made all five of the Student Council members jump. Followed by another one. It was coming from the wall adjacent to the door… like someone was trying to smash through the wall with sheer brute force.
Had the school not been rebuilt to take into consideration extremely powerful martial artists, it would’ve crumbled like dry, unreinforced plaster.
“Uh… okay?” Ranma asked, before he heard muffled swears in Chinese through the door. Immediately he stiffened, his skin going a shade whiter as the swearing came closer to the door, then stopped.
Then the door was swung open, and a healthy-figured, purple-haired girl dressed in a pink cheongsam and yellow pants, carrying a pair of red and pink melon hammers walked into the room and looked at the five of them.
“I beg your pardon?” Kodachi asked the Chinese woman, who immediately pointed one of the melon hammers at Katie.
Xian Pu of the Joketsuzoku, often mistakenly referred to as Shampoo until it stuck, narrowed her eyes at the other foreign girl, before she spoke. “Tell me where RicePony is, right now.”
|Nope|
Ranma had gone pale as a sheet. “Oh… fuck.”
RicePony was the handle he had chosen for his girl form’s gaming channel. RicePony appeared alongside BansheeDeadSix in more than one video in the couple of weeks since she started the channel. And Katie, despite not having a channel at all, did appear onscreen with Misao… generally for stuff like gift box openings and reaction clips.
Shampoo was going to try to track down his girl form through her!
Akane, who didn’t understand Chinese, shot up from her chair. “Who the heck are you?!”
Katie, who was raised by a Chinese speaking mother and thus did understand Chinese, answered in kind. “You need to get out of here, this is a school and we’re in the middle of a council meeting.”
“I am not leaving until you tell me where RicePony is, even if I have to beat it out of you,” Shampoo said without reservation.
Katie didn’t back down and fired back a threat of her own. “You do not want to give me an excuse, because I’m always looking for one.”
To emphasize her threat, she stood up, making her height and physique well known to the much shorter Chinese Amazon. Akane immediately assumed an aggressive stance, but Ranma remained in his seat… in fact by Nabiki’s observation, he was doing what he could to not be noticed.
“Your threat is as ridiculous as your appearance.” Shampoo said in a dismissive sniff. “Though I welcome your futile attempts to protect RicePony. I look forward to presenting her with your broken corpse.”
She made the mistake of blinking, and in the next instant, Katie was there in her face, fist reaching for the Chinese girl’s face at a blinding speed. It missed but it was close thing, sending Shampoo skittering back a little, head low before she raised her head and showed a surprise to those watching.
“Wow, I thought Senpai missed.” Akane murmured in shock.
“Only grazed her.” Katie said in disappointment. “Want to talk more shit and leave yourself open to get hit?”
“So you have a little bit of speed.” Shampoo said without concern, wiping the blood away all nonchalant like. “It’s nothing to concern myself with.”
The brief second her arm covered her eyes was all Katie needed to clear the gap between them again. Another punch came flying at Shampoo’s face, but this one was cleanly evaded. “Oh!”
Katie jerked herself back and to the side, avoiding one of the melon hammers. Then turned and slammed the back of her fist into the other, a loud clang sounding before the hammer cracked and split much like its namesake.
Shampoo withdrew a pace, this time keeping her eyes locked upon Katie as she abandoned the broken melon hammer. This girl was strong, very, very strong.
Katie’s lips were turned upward in a slight curve. “What was that about nothing to concern yourself with?”
Shampoo, returning the smile, twirled the second melon hammer and then let it slip from her fingers straight for Katie, who ignored it completely and moved from its path before it could fill her vision. She punched straight for Shampoo’s face, and the blow was deflected up and above her head by her crossed forearms. Pulling back, the two began exchanging quick blows, Shampoo deflecting Katie’s strikes with finesse while her own attacks were more brushed aside with brute force from Katie’s strong arms.
Katie then caught a chop for her throat and attempted to turn and throw Shampoo onto her back. Catching herself on her feet instead, Shampoo rolled herself over, twisting free of her grip and kept spinning into a back kick that Katie blocked with her raised forearm, both girls pushing each other back.
Kodachi was impressed. “A magnificent fighter…”
Ranma was tense as he watched the exchange of blows.
Shampoo adjusted her stance, lowering her body and bringing her hands forward, causing Katie to tense as well. She couldn’t help but be a little cocky. “I get it now, you got started in Muay Thai, you are all about full force. I know how to beat you, now.”
That looked like a Southern Style stance, Katie didn’t like fighting Southern Styles… because that usually meant they-
Shampoo was attacking again, but her strikes were much different, they were like rifle shots… and like rifle shots they were being specifically aimed.
“Ah shit, ah shit!” Katie thought as she quite rapidly moved to parry the strikes, aiming her own at Shampoo’s wrists and arms to deflect her fingers away from the vital points that she was targeting.
Akane’s eyes grew large when she saw the sudden defensive shift in Katie’s style against the intruder. She was doing everything she could now to avoid being tagged by Shampoo’s strikes, while leaving herself no room of her own to attack. “Something’s wrong.”
Katie dodged another strike, and this time watched Shampoo carefully, and the girl’s attacks suddenly slowed down to something much more manageable. Still it was difficult, her attempt at grabbing Shampoo’s wrist was promptly foiled, and she had to weave her entire body to avoid a pair of counter strikes before she could fire back with her own punch.
Shampoo caught and forced down the blow with with one hand while her other hand came down in a windmill motion that Katie slapped aside with her other hand, and used the turn to swing a backward spin kick that Shampoo leaned back to avoid in a display of agile flexibility. She came back just as fast, and Katie strong armed deflected two more quick pokes aimed for her shoulder blades.
“She’s good… she’s really good…!” Katie thought, thinking right away of Ranma, before she finally realized that a sacrifice had to be made, and she let her guard slip long enough for Shampoo’s next jab to tag her right shoulder.
Shampoo’s eyes lit up when she saw her blow connect, but in her moment of triumph came the end of the fight, as Katie suddenly charged forward to grab one of her long purple tresses, and pulled Shampoo forward into her jerked up knee, hitting Shampoo in the crotch something fierce and causing her to collapse to the floor, groaning in pain.
“Will you calm the fuck down, you crazy bitch?!” Katie snapped at Shampoo in Chinese. “I just told you that you needed to leave!”
Shampoo rolled over, getting back up. “You are either an obstacle in my way, or a helping hand in pointing me where I need to go. Now, where is RicePony?”
“I. Said. Leave,” Katie growled as she clutched her right arm with her left… much louder than she meant to. It was about then she realized that she wasn’t the one growling. Turning around, her eyes grew large and she stepped back.
Kodachi, Akane, and Nabiki all gave a start when they heard the growl of an animal, and Ranma recognized it as well as a large majestic black wolf, wearing a large yellow bandana tied around its neck strode in, growling at Shampoo with its teeth bared. Since it seemed to be pissed at Shampoo, it didn’t prompt them to move to act.
Ranma was up on his feet, amazed to see the powerful creature–an old friend from his trip to China. “Garou…!”
However, the most dramatic reaction came from the person that the wolf faced. Shampoo’s sudden shift in posture was fascinating, looking like a child who just got caught by their parents being bad. And much like an intervening parent, the wolf sauntered over to the Chinese girl and simply took a mouthful of the seat of her pants and began to drag her away.
“No! No! But husband, I have lead on Red! She is named RicePony on internet! Giant girl know where she live!” Shampoo pleaded in clunky Japanese and flailed her arms while being careful not to move her legs too much lest the seat of her pants be torn off.
The wolf simply growled something that seemed to say, “I don’t care, we’re leaving!”
“But…! But…!” Shampoo could only wail as she was drug out of the council room.
“… Okay, I’m pretty sure I thought we switched from sativa after the whole blunt-smoking alien thing.” Katie muttered to herself. That was weird even after the parkouring panda and she felt like the drugs just weren’t going to compare to reality.
“Senpai!” Akane called, coming over by her. “Are you all right?”
“It’s not important right now,” Katie said, while conspicuously gripping her arm. “We have more important concerns.”
Kodachi agreed. “That is correct! A martial artist of that girl’s caliber running loose in the wild is an intolerable threat to my ambition… tell me, Izurando Katie, who was that girl and who was she after?”
Nabiki turned to Ranma. “I think that’s a question Ranma can answer better.”
Kodachi looked in his direction. “Can he now?”
Ranma grimaced. “Well…”
“You knew the girl that just interrupted the meeting.” Nabiki pressed him.
Akane whirled upon him. “Is this true?”
Ranma looked uncertainly towards Kodachi for a second. “Well… it’s a matter that’s kind of personal, Kodachi-san. I can’t exactly be letting people know about it.”
“In the interest of resolving this matter swiftly.” Kodachi said, standing up. “I vow that nothing that is said will leave this room, upon my life.” She gestured emphatically to Ranma and the others. “I am burdening you all with my ambitions, it is only fair that I share in your burdens, is it not?”
To show her sincerity, she quickly and quietly had the Gentlemen leave the room and shut off the security cameras and listening equipment taking notes. Once in privacy, she gestured for Ranma to continue.
Ranma stared at her, before he closed his eyes and nodded. “Okay, so when I was traveling in China before I came here… I was cursed to transform into a girl when I doused with cold water.”
Kodachi stared at him, rather surprised by this revelation. “Truly?”
“I’d demonstrate it, but… it’s a bit of a hassle. Everyone else can vouch for me, though,” Ranma replied.
“I really can,” Katie said. “I’ve seen it myself.”
Akane and Nabiki agreed, they’d seen it too since they’ve come to know Ranma.
Kodachi, rather than push the subject and reveal any skepticism (there was plenty) elected to go forward assuming she believed him. “And this has to do with this girl?”
Ranma sighed in relief and continued. “The guide decided to take us over to this village that might’ve been able to help called Joketsuzoku-”
“She must be the person your dad was trying to convince us attacked him.” Akane said, upon hearing the name of the village.
“… Yeah I can see how he’d think that. She’s been chasing me since China, because I beat her in a fight when I was in the form of a girl.” Ranma continued, not minding the interruption since it meant he didn’t have explain it. “Apparently, you beat a warrior from their village and they’re obligated to hunt you down and kill you.”
Katie’s eyebrows flattened out as she got something from this. “And lemme guess, you didn’t bother to ask the guide about any peculiar laws or anything you should watch for just in case?”
“It… well I was incredibly pissed about the curse so it slipped my mind.” Ranma said, a little defensive.
“So why did you have to fight her?” Katie asked, crossing her arms.
“… We kind of ate her victory feast? We were starving and it was out there in the open...” Ranma shrank under the glares of the four girls.
“Honestly!” Kodachi snapped.
Nabiki blew out a sigh. “Ranma-kun, please remember that just because food is left sitting out that doesn’t mean you can just eat it.”
Akane was more concerned about Shampoo. “So she’s going to keep coming after you huh?”
“Unless something suddenly changes.” Ranma said miserably.
“Which isn’t a good thing at all,” Ranma said.
“What about the wolf?” Kodachi asked. “You referred to him by a name, do you have a history with that handsome beast as well?”
“Yeah. After I started trying to get away from Shampoo, Garou began showing up to help me fight Shampoo off. We travelled together all the way until we reached the East Sea, and we really bonded on our way to the coast.” Ranma said, looking thoughtful. “We got separated when we were leaving, Shampoo caught up with us at the shore and he elected to stay back and delay her one final time…”
Nabiki bought up a salient point. “Apparently the fight went well, because they’re married now.”
“Oh, so that wasn’t the sativa.” Katie muttered.
“Married to a wolf, though?” Ranma asked.
Akane looked confused before she looked at Ranma and had an epiphany. “Jusenkyo!”
“Someone with a curse huh?” Nabiki asked, pursing her lips.
“But who?” Katie asked, looking around.
Ranma paused, thinking for a moment, remembering the yellow bandanna around the wolf’s neck and the sudden umbrella attack on Soban…
“I think,” he said, drawing all their eyes. “That the wolf was someone I know, but I’m gonna need to find him and confirm it.”
Nabiki saw an opportunity and went for it. “I’ll come along to help you look.”
“Thanks,” Ranma said gratefully to her.
“If it is a friend of yours, then confirm it fast because if she’s coming after me to get to you then we got a whole different problem. I don’t want this bitch following me home and dragging Misao into this bullshit” Katie said to Ranma as she looked at her arm.
Akane then finally noticed it. “Senpai, can you move your arm?”
“Unfortunately, no,” she muttered. “If I have to say something against my fighting style, it’s that I’m kind of a bad match against those esoteric types who like to hit pressure points and bullshit like that. I need to get this patched up and reassess how I’m going to deal with her.”
Akane nodded in understanding. “Yeah, but before that, we need to get you over to Dr. Tofu’s and get your arm fixed.”
And that just soured Katie further. “… Oh, great.”
|Bonds|
With the meeting done, Ranma had decided to go see Ryoga, to confirm his suspicions. In tow was Nabiki, who wanted to see this mythic Hibiki person in the flesh as well as maybe help keep her potential fiance intact however it were to happen. Well she wasn’t going to be much help, but there were other ways than throwing a punch to help out.
Besides, with Akane tending to Katie, someone needed to go and bear witness to whatever new thing of madness that hit their lives. It was guaranteed to be a thing at least, so she wouldn’t be bored. Hah, as if she was actually worried about that right now.
Her hunk of a fiancé had someone after his life and there was zero way she was going to sit passively on the sideline and just wring her hands in worry.
“So,” Nabiki said, as they were well on the way to Ryoga’s house. “Tell me about this Ryoga, and more than just he’s good in a fight.”
“Well, he’s kinda thick I suppose.” Ranma said, shrugging his shoulders. “Physically and mentally, but he at least tries not to be overtly dumb. He just gets swallowed by the pace.”
“I see,” Nabiki said, clucking her tongue as she tried to think about what to say. “So how are you feeling this meeting is gonna go?”
“He might attack me, he might not.” Ranma said, before shrugging. “Heck, before he showed up to pull Shampoo out of there I would have told you he was gonna try and fight me. Now I’m not sure.”
“An old rival right?” Nabiki asked, taking the answering nod to continue. “You know him from where?”
“Butsumetsu Junior High,” he answered. “You had to fight for your food, so he had an issue only in arriving on time before they were down to the last of the bread.”
“Chronically late or…” Nabiki was confused by this arriving on time thing.
“He’s incredibly bad with directions.” Ranma said, sighing a little. “Like if you told him to go to the end of the street and turn right. He might turn right immediately, or turn go in the opposite direction of the way you’re pointing and then turn right.”
“He could get lost in an empty room.” Nabiki said with a small bit of wonder. He must be incredibly tough to survive that kind of handicap. “So you two scrapped a lot.”
“Every day, I was always there around the end of it because I didn’t want to step all over Soban’s toes, and because his boys hogged up all the best stuff, I had to fight it out with Ryoga for it. I always won, though.”
“And you didn’t let him have the bread because?” Nabiki asked, trying not to get mad at him.
“Well, it was mostly we liked the same kind of breads.” Ranma scratched the back of his neck. “So after so many slights, it was only natural he’d come after me. Thing was, he got lost trying to get to where I was waiting for him.”
It was pretty hilarious to think back on now. “I’m still upset I never got to fight him full out but after three whole days waiting for him I had to consider it a forfeit.”
“You waited three days?” She asked, amazed.
“I would’ve waited longer, but Dad dragged me off to China on the third day…”
“So he followed you to China?” Nabiki didn’t like that vindictiveness.
“If he’s Garou, yeah.” Ranma looked ahead and saw a black and white dog running towards them from the front porch of a nice little house that seemed to have undergone quite the cleanup recently. “Hey, Shirokuro!”
“What a beautiful dog!” Nabiki said, as the named dog came to stop in front of her. She was taken aback by how the dog eagerly accepted her petting, but found herself lost in the soft fur.
Ranma knelt down and rubbed the top of the dog’s head with her. “This is Ryoga’s dog. She’s a pretty swell gal, she used to walk him to and from school so he wouldn’t get lost.”
He then turned to Nabiki. “I think she might also be a ninken, too.”
“Such an amazing dog.” Nabiki could only find herself agreeing with the assessment. She couldn’t hear the dog making any excess noise, when usually just breathing lit up the audio board.
“What’s up gal? Is your master home?”
Shirokuro got up and trotted to the front door, before pawing it open and looking back at the two of them, invitingly. Nabiki, for one, was impressed at such a smart dog.
“I’m taking that as a yes.” Ranma said, nodding his head. “Come on, let’s not keep him waiting.”
Nabiki followed Ranma into the Hibiki home, wondering just what they’d see.
“Careful with that Xian!” Ryoga’s voice wafted through the house. “Don’t burn yourself just to show off for me!”
“Silly husband, it fine!” Shampoo’s voice danced into the common area where Ranma and Nabiki were standing. “Shampoo do this for too long to get burn.”
Shirokuro barked to let Ryoga know they had company.
“Hey, sorry I couldn’t greet you at the door,” Ryoga said as he began to emerge from the kitchen. He hadn’t seen who it was yet. “We’re making some food and–wait, Ranma?”
Rather than shout a declaration of revenge and attack, the young man in a mustard yellow shirt and brown pants, with a bright yellow bandanna hanging around his neck, merely slapped his forehead. “Of course you remembered where my house was, I’m the one who couldn’t find it.”
Ranma raised an eyebrow at the chummy atmosphere, but still went with it. “Hey man, how’s it shakin’?”
Ryoga shrugged. “It’s been pretty good. I was actually hoping to talk to you sooner than later.”
Ranma nodded. “Well that’s why I’m here, I was a little curious about about what you’d been up to the last month or so.”
Ryoga glanced back to the kitchen. “I bet you’re wondering about Xian Pu, too?”
Ranma slowly nodded. “Yeah, that too. She and I got a history and I had a hunch I’d find her here with you.”
Ryoga tensed a little bit. “It was a good hunch.”
“So you are Garou, then?” Ranma said.
“Well, it was the darndest thing. I followed you all the way to China, and as it turned out you knocked into a spring that turned me into this big badass wolf.”
Ranma’s eyes widened a bit. “Wait, you were the guy I knocked over? Oh geez, sorry man…”
Ryoga grinned. “Don’t be! At first, was kinda mad. Then when I realized the nose overrode my directional problems, I was so happy I couldn’t think straight.”
Ranma understood. “Oh… so that’s why you were so helpful all those times.”
He then stopped. “Also explains why you refused to lick me or do tricks like a normal dog would, too. You know what? I’m not as broken up about that as I was anymore.”
“Yeah, but if it’s any consolation I really liked the name ‘Garou’, I was afraid of something lame like Okami-chan.” Ryoga finished with a great big smile.
“Well, you were always hungry so…” Ranma thought it was an obvious name. “By the way, this is Tendo Nabiki, my senpai at Furinkan and a member of the council a certain girl crashed the meeting of.”
“And him as well,” Nabiki said, waving with a bright smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Ranma’s had a lot of good things to say about you even without the wolf thing tacked on.”
Ryoga gave her a once over before he gave Ranma a sly smile. “Oh yeah? That must’ve been a short list.”
“Longer than I thought,” Ranma replied.
“My, to think that you two used to be such bitter rivals,” Nabiki said.
“We had our good days,” Ranma admitted.
“Long as food wasn’t on the line,” Ryoga said, and both shared a bit of a sharp look as the spike of excitement that came from competition flared up.
“I’m sure you have some fantastic stories of the good old days,” Nabiki said as she gestured her head towards Shampoo, who was emerging from the kitchen with some food. “But I think what we want to discuss has just walked in.”
Shampoo, not having picked up the mood but definitely the eyes on her, blinked and said cutely. “Nihao.”
She recognized Ranma, the guy who didn’t seem too interested in fighting back at the school, and of course she recognized Nabiki, who seemed otherwise harmless. She looked at Ryoga. “These you friends?”
Ryoga nodded. “Well, I went to School with Ranma, and Nabiki is his…”
“Prospective fiancée,” Nabiki replied, impressed that he wasn’t going to presume.
Ryoga looked at Ranma with a raised eyebrow.
“My old man is stupid and so is hers,” Ranma explained with a stern nod. “Because they don’t care about the love lives of their respective children, I’m kinda stuck choosing between three different girls as my fiancée.”
Ryoga gave him a flat look. “Oh your life must be so terrible.” He nodded twice to Shampoo. “But yes, that’s who they are.”
“Ah, nihao.” Shampoo said again, not sure what she should say in this position.
“And this beautiful woman is my wife Xian Pu.” Ryoga said with, well, a wolfish grin. “It was a tenuous courtship, but well… if someone ever asks if love can bloom on the battlefield, the answer is yes.” He even added a cheesy thumbs up.
Ranma looked shocked, Nabiki less so but that’s because she didn’t know Ryoga.
“Well, it was a little bit of their village laws, but I, uh, brushed up on the particulars and I have no complaints.” His grin diminished just a bit. “Outside of where to live, but there has to be some kind of contention I guess.”
And boy howdy was there.
Nabiki grasped what he meant by village laws and covered her mouth to suppress the gasp of recognition about to be issued forth from said orifice.
Ranma didn’t and just nodded a little. “Oh, well congratulations man. Speaking of village laws, we uh… wanted to talk about that girl, RicePony.”
Upon mentioning of the handle, and reminding her of the association, Shampoo scowled. “You know where Shampoo can find?”
“Even if we did, you going after her would be a bad idea,” Nabiki warned Shampoo. “That’s what we wanted to discuss. You see, RicePony is… she’s in a position where going after her would end pretty badly for you. It’s gonna be pretty much safer for you to let this one slip.”
“Shampoo kill RicePony, don’t care who in way,” Shampoo immediately said with a scowl as if she heard nothing Nabiki just said.
Ryoga shook his head. “It’s no use, Ranma, Nabiki-san. Joketsuzoku pride is so strong that if it’s even slightly insulted they will hold that grudge until they get payback. I mean… I fell on the right side of the slight, thank God.”
Ranma frowned. “What do you mean?”
Ryoga glanced at Shampoo, then to Ranma. “Well, when I stayed back to hold Xian Pu off, the fight took us back into town and ended in a restaurant. I had managed to overpower and defeat her… right as a pot of water heating up to boil fell on me.”
“So she found out you were a cursed guy, and…” His eyes widened in realization. “… Let me guess… since you were a man who defeated a Joketsuzoku Warrior…”
Ryoga nodded. “I had to marry her. It wasn’t bad, she’s really nice to anyone who isn’t her target… but the only reason we’re really even here in Japan is because she wants to kill her.”
“That right,” Shampoo said. “Shampoo kill then go home, that is rule of village.”
“Let me see that in writing,” Nabiki said.
Almost immediately Shampoo produced a book on Joketsuzoku law, and Nabiki cracked it open to read. “Hmm… outsider… if defeated by woman… ends of the Earth… if defeated by man… ends of the Earth…” She closed the book. “Huh, it’s there in writing.”
She looked to Ranma. “RicePony’s fucked.”
“Shampoo agree, now tell where is.”
“One track mind, damn,” Nabiki muttered.
Ranma bristled and stepped forward. “Has it ever occurred to you that going around wanting to kill people because they beat you in a fair fight is not just a little shy of insane?”
“Fat pig ate all Shampoo’s food that Shampoo fight all day for! Then beat Shampoo up! You think Shampoo let that slide?”
“You think it might be less a hassle to just bill her for the food?!” Ranma demanded.
“You no can buy pride!” Shampoo shouted back. “Why you care so much for RicePony?! It none of you business!”
“It is my business because RicePony is my…!” Ranma stopped and recoiled when Shampoo stepped forward, fire blazing in her eyes.
“She. Is. What.” She enunciated clearly and intently, all too darkly eager to hear the connection she could exploit.
Ryoga’s arms were like steel cables wrapped around Shampoo a second later, pinning hers at her sides and lifting her up off the ground. With a yelp she began to squirm in his grip, but the young man’s strength was monstrous, and she could only thrash and start shouting angrily.
“AIREN! LET SHAMPOO GO! PUT SHAMPOO DOWN!” She shrieked as Ryoga began to step back from Ranma and towards the kitchen.
“Ranma, Nabiki-san, I think you should leave…” He warned them. “You’re not going to convince her–believe me I’ve tried and I can be very persuasive with her!”
Shampoo was now trying to kick out from his grip, but he had leaned back enough so her feet could not touch the floor and gain purchase, or strike his own legs properly. “Let go! Let go! Shampoo kill stupid Red! Shampoo get revenge!”
Ranma tensed up, furious. “Fine! Go ahead and try it! But you’re gonna be in deep shit if you come near her or any of my friends again!”
Shampoo then shouted at Ranma something in Chinese that Ranma didn’t really want to hear a translation of, but the way she sounded when she said it gave him an idea of how vile it was. Before Ranma could spit back more threats, Nabiki placed a hand on his chest and led him to the door.
“Okay, this is a clustertruck. We’re leaving,” she said as she pushed him back towards the front door, which Shirokuro was waiting by. The dog looked a little said, so Nabiki felt compelled to comfort her. “It’ll be okay girl.”
“Sorry girl, we’ll try to make things right.” Ranma said to Shirokuro as they left.
Once they were a considerable distance from the Hibiki home, a thought occurred to Nabiki.
“You know, you never mentioned how the fight went,” Nabiki said, turning to look at Ranma.
“I would like to say it was an epic clash, but she charged me like a bull with no guard and I knocked her out her with a single kick.” Ranma admitted, somewhat embarrassed.
“Aaaaand thus why she felt compelled to give you the Kiss of Death.” Nabiki said with a defeated expression.
“… ‘Compelled’?” Ranma echoed with a raised eyebrow.
“It’s not so iron-clad as do it or be killed kind of thing. Most of it is up to the warrior.” Nabiki explained, waving a hand in the air. “In Chinese, it’s a lot more in depth than the Japanese translation. I assume it’s either because they were unsure how to translate the more esoteric bits...”
“… Or they didn’t want Japanese outsiders to know about any those parts.” Ranma finished with a nod. “Sounds like a secretive village. So there’s no way out of this?”
“I don’t think Ryoga would take kindly to you crippling or kill his wife.” Nabiki said, blowing out a sigh. “Okay, considering what I managed to speedskim, she isn’t technically compelled to give the Kiss of Marriage because she banished herself from the village to pursue you. They can’t actually have all their strong warriors running off after every single person to beat them, so it’s only a matter of if it’s approved.”
Ranma felt defeated. “And here she is, the Champion in Exile.”
“Why didn’t you just break her legs and leave her to the wilderness?” Nabiki decided to ask after a small bit of quiet.
“She never got close to me so I could hit her.” Ranma said, helplessly shrugging his shoulders. “She kept firing arrows or hurling knives at me.”
“Shrewd, just like how she recognized how to fight Izurando.” Nabiki nodded. “That girl is a problem.”
They had no idea how much of a goddamned problem she’d end up being.
“Still, thanks for coming with me. I don’t know if I could have handled it alone.” Ranma said after a little bit of quiet. They were pretty far from the Hibiki home now.
“Well someone had to,” Nabiki said with a sly little grin. “Plus two of us going gives a better accounting for how things went and all.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, “It’s just you helped put my mind at ease. You helped keep everything at talking without any fighting breaking out in Ryoga’s house.”
Nabiki’s ears did that little flush they do when she gets overwhelmed with emotion, but they were thankfully hidden by her hair at the moment. “I did what I thought was best for the situation. It’s just… you hope to be civil with someone who might be your enemy.”
“Yeah,” Ranma agreed, feeling the atmosphere turn a little chummy. It wasn’t a bad thing though. “Well, we tried but maybe we can expect a little more interference from Ryoga.”
“We can only hope that it doesn’t come to the worse.” Nabiki said, sighing. “She’s not a bad girl, you know. She’s just from a different culture than me. Might be closer to you, considering you spent your youth on the road.”
“Why Nabiki-chan,” Ranma drawled, grinning at squeak of surprise she failed to suppress at the sudden honorific. “Do you mean to imply that I am an uncivilized barbarian?”
Nabiki took a moment to school herself. “Well you’re not exactly your everyday average teenager.”
“Something we’re both grateful for.” Ranma said, smirking just a tad as he leaned in closer to her.
“Someone’s full of himself.” Nabiki said, trying not to laugh.
“Man if I only was, then I wouldn’t have had the appetite to be in this mess to begin with.” Ranma replied innocently.
Nabiki lost the battle with her laughter. “Okay okay, you win! My sides are going to hurt for a while now.”
“Your laughing muscles are out of shape.” Ranma said in his best doctor voice. “Laughter is the best medicine after all.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Nabiki said, before she gave him a sly smile. “But you know, I don’t mind if you’re a little arrogant.”
“Oh yea?” He asked, looking a little.
“A little confidence goes a long way you know.” She confirmed with a semi-serious nod.
“And the banging martial arts bod isn’t hurting the deal.” Ranma flexed one arm for emphasis.
Nabiki mocked swoon. “Oh sir, you are a danger to a girl’s health with those guns.”
“It’s okay,” Ranma said without a trace of irony. “I’m fully licensed to carry them.”
Nabiki laughed again and Ranma joined in, which served to obscure the fact that they were being followed by Shampoo. The Amazon watched the chummy scene with a bit of a pit forming in her stomach. RicePony was someone very close to both of them and they weren’t bad people from what she could see.
It wouldn’t be the first time she cursed her pride and hubris to chase after the girl who defeated her. She could have let her go, just let the girl walk away. After all, they were fighting over the prize and she had lost. The girl and panda had already eaten most of it, so let them have it and let her go.
But she was a challenge, the first she had ever encountered around her age. The tournament had been dull and she had been exhausted just waiting for her opponents to inevitably fuck up. But here was someone arguably better than her and she wasn’t about to let her go. She could have let it go, just turned away and chalk it up as an L.
And yet, she had made a vow to kill this new rival, and Xian Pu of Joketsuzoku kept her promises… always.
|Doctor Feelsbadman|
Meanwhile, Katie and Akane were making their way to Tofu’s clinic. It was a slow walk, one rife with tension, as the Kouhai wrestled with the fact her invincible Senpai wasn’t so invincible. Of course, this was obvious to anyone who thought about it, but rose colored glasses hide the imperfection pretty well. Well it was that and Katie was still a little pissed about everything concerning Shampoo and was not in the mood to talk.
That would not deter Akane. “Come on Senpai, you can’t expect to beat everyone.”
“Technically, I still won.” Katie said with a minor sulk. “She forfeited when her wolf boyfriend drug her away.”
“Yeah, well it was looking kind of iffy there, especially since you sacrificed an arm to land that hit.” Akane wasn’t about to chastise the groin hit. It was the first place her father ever taught her to attack after all.
“Shit...” Katie muttered, she had been foolish in letting the Amazon take her arm but she had little choice. Or so she told herself.
“Still, Tofu-sensei will take care of it.” Akane said, keeping her tone focused.
“I still don’t like him.” Katie muttered. “His attitude is too shifty for someone who acts so aloof.”
“Be that as it may, if you want to use your arm anytime soon, he’s your best bet.” Akane admonished, eyeing the clinic in the distance. “He’s an expert on pressure points.”
“Is he now…?” Katie thought, before filing it away. “If you have concerns about a possible fight between us, I’d win eight times out of ten.”
“But your weakness…” Akane protested.
“It’s a weakness not an instant-win button.” Katie said with a laugh. “Give me some credit, I trained in Southern Mantis because of my weakness. It’s not perfect but she only got my arm because I let her. And if you thought it’ll give you an edge, pressure points ain’t your thing, girl.”
“But what about Ranma?” Akane asked, curious now.
“He could pull it off but they’re not something he’d do on a whim.” Katie said, smiling. “A part of your true self always shines through in a fight. I like to hit real hard which is why it’s harder for me to adapt to the misdirection of Southern Mantis. Ranma, however, loves to go fast and overwhelm his opponent with sheer speed. If I had to guess, a part of him loves the shocked expression of someone so sure they’re gonna land a punch and then misses.”
Akane nodded, that sounded like Ranma as far as she knew him.
“That’s the reason I dominated Ranma though.” Katie said in all seriousness. “I’m as fast as he is but I hit way harder.” She thought for a second. “It’s not just that, the way we think is different. He may act wild but he’s ruled solely by logic. When he got me in the flying armbar, he thought I’d tumble to the ground and fight it there. Because grappling arts teach you to instinctively not fighting and I’m a pretty instinctive fighter…”
“… He thought you’d fall to the ground and give him a way to end it.” Akane realized, shocked at how much more deep that had been. “So why didn’t you?”
“My uncle was like, ‘I don’t have time for weak shit like that. If you’re dumb enough to find yourself in an armbar, do what you do best and smash it apart.’ Or something like that.” Katie grinned. “I never trained to fall or concede position in that situation. Because he didn’t try to force me down I was able to focus on putting enough in my jump to reach the ceiling. And that’s his real weakness, when he thinks he absolutely won’t lose, he relaxes.”
“Not much of a weakness.” Akane said, considering Katie’s was so much more pronounced.
“Against me it’s fatal.” Katie retorted with a wry snort. “And it might be against that girl if he isn’t careful. She was watching the whole time, observing how to fight instead of just trying to fight me head on.” She shook her head, wanting to be optimistic.
“I see,” Akane said, they were almost at the clinic. “So why do you think you can beat Tofu-sensei?”
“It’s because he knows martial arts, but he’s not a fighter.” Katie said, shrugging her shoulders indifferently. “He doesn’t have the fangs to go against me and the only way he can win-”
She stopped, spun and swung a kick behind her, sending the sneaking Tofu scrambling away.
“-is by sneaking up on me.” Katie finished, snorting at him. “A piece of advice my guy, instead of just erasing your presence, remember to take your slippers off. I could hear you click clacking up behind me a mile away.”
“Oh my, you must have some incredible ears.” Tofu said with a gallant smile. It was strained if you looked closely however.
“I trained more than my body y’know?” Katie remarked with a snotty grin. “It’s the height of idiocy to think your senses as a baby are the same as your senses throughout your life. If that were true, no one would need glasses or hearing aids. If they can grow weaker they can also get stronger.” She laughed a little. “Or omething like that anyways.”
“She’s talking about ‘Heaven’ just now.” Akane realized.
“As much fun as it’d be to have it out, I’m wounded here so I need your help.” Katie said, smoothly moving on to their business. “Sooner we get away from him the better I’ll feel.”
“Such an unsporting customer, attacking me and asking me for help?” Tofu asked with a disappointed frown. “Well I suppose playing jokes like I was isn’t exactly sporting of me.”
“Come on Tofu-sensei.” Akane pouted. “This is serious, you can play your jokes later.”
Tofu looked in surprise at Akane, before he laughed it off. “Well she is related to HER after all....” He dusted himself off and spoke this time. “All right, come into the clinic and I’ll take care of your right arm.”
Katie nodded and the three of them headed inside, Tofu leading and Akane bringing up the rear just behind Katie.
“To begin I must ask, what happened that caused your arm to end up like this?” Tofu asked as Katie sat down and rolled up her sleeve.
“I fought a single-minded idiot, it turns out that she is proficient at hitting pressure points.”
Tofu took her arm and examined the point where Katie was struck. Right away he could see that the strike was intentional, an ideally safe spot to hit that only temporarily took the use of her arm away.
“So you let her hit you?”
“Seemed like the best idea at the time,” Katie said as he examined the point of impact closer, like he was trying to see under the skin itself.
Best idea nothing, she had sacrificed the arm knowing full well that the strike would miss the point that would render the arm useless for a week.
“Well for a matter of haphazard luck, your arm will recover by tomorrow on its own.” Tofu announced, finishing his examination. “I can offer you a sling to keep it in place until then.”
Katie nodded. “Yeah, that should be fi-””
“Just kidding!” Tofu then jammed a finger into Katie’s arm just below her elbow, and Katie felt a painful twinge that made her flinch in extreme pain.
“Gah! Motherfuck… er…” She stopped and looked at her arm as she moved it and wiggled her fingers. It didn’t even hurt anymore. “Huh.”
Akane gave Katie a smile. “He’s such a good doctor.”
Katie scowled a bit petulantly. “With a pretty awful sense of humor.”
At that, Akane looked away a bit. “You’re not exactly comedian material, yourself…”
“That’s because I don’t try to be funny.” Katie punctuated that by sticking her tongue out at Akane, who returned the gesture before giggling.
Tofu stepped away, satisfied to see his work done and his patients in high spirits. “Well, unless there’s anything else, you young ladies are free to go.”
Katie ran her arm through the full range of motion. “I’d call this a smashing success, thanks Doc. The check will be in the mail.”
She slipped off the examination table and nodded to Akane.
“By the way Akane-chan,” Tofu said as Katie and Akane had almost reached the door. “Is… is e-everything all right with K-Kasumi-san?”
Akane blinked, not expecting the question. “Eh? Everything is fine why?”
“Sh-she just hasn’t been by as much as the past,” he said, looking a little embarrassed and upset. “I was w-worried. She hasn’t been by since she returned my books she borrowed…”
Akane raised an eyebrow. “Well, a lot has happened so she’s probably busy with things.”
Katie wanted to snicker or laugh or make some kind of noise that might give away she knew what those things are. But she held it in mainly to see how the good doctor reacted.
“I… I see.” He said, trying to keep his friendly exterior.
“Now,” Katie said, ushering Akane out the door. “We’ll take our leave.”
They were outside before Akane could finally ask the obvious question. “What’s the hurry?”
Katie glanced at Akane and shrugged a little. “He’s going to start grumbling darkly about your older sister and it didn’t seem like a good idea to stick around.” Katie defended, even as the atmosphere over the clinic darkened. “See?”
Akane then said something that Katie did not expect to hear from her kouhai’s mouth. “Well, that’s your fault, isn’t it, Senpai?”
“Ah…?” Katie took a step back from Akane, a little surprised. “What?”
Akane gave Katie a sidelong look. “I know my older sister, I also know that when she was in high school she was really popular with the girls and not just because she was the nicest of them. I also know when you’re looking at her like you want to do perverted things with her… and she has the same looks.”
Katie’s normally pale features lit up in an embarrassed flush. Busted, outright. “O-oh…”
“I’m of two minds about it, but neither of them are upset at you about it, don’t worry,” Akane reassured her. “It’s not like I think it’s weird or anything…”
She stopped herself. “Okay… it’s a little perverted, but it’s okay if it’s you.”
Katie barely couldn’t help her short laugh. “Are you talking about with Kasumi or you?”
It was Akane’s turn to go red in the face, as she recoiled. “Ah?! S-Senpai!” She looked away, her blush only getting deeper. “I-I’m not that kind of girl!”
“Ah, like her name suggests,” Katie said faux-poetically, “The youngest Tendo is red at the roots.”
“Stop it~!” Akane whined as she cupped her cheeks and leaned away from Katie.
Katie wasn’t about to do that, and continued down this path of teasing. “Ah, ah, you need to work on your phrasing Akane-chan. People will get ideas~”
Akane continued to shrink away in embarrassment. That wasn’t what she meant at all. “No, I mean, I-”
“But don’t worry Akane-chan,” Katie said solemnly, before her face twisted into a perverted leer. “I won’t be too rough, ghihihihihi~”
In mock terror, Akane squealed and brought her hands to her chest as she swayed from side to side while strolling past a mailbox. “Aaaah! My senpai is a pervert! A pervert!”
Katie loomed over Akane, laughing evilly. “In me power…!”
Her wicked chortling came to a stop when a scimitar came out, the blade glinting in the evening light. Katie and Akane stared at the blade and the large-sleeve shrouded hand that held it. All of that belonged to a young man wearing blue pants and a long white robe with black cuffs on the sleeves. He had an youthful, handsome face, piercing pale blue eyes, and long waist-length black hair.
The young man gazed piercingly down his blade at the target. Coolly, he spoke, “For someone deserving of the title senpai, you are awfully blatant in your lecherous desires to your kouhai.”
Katie and Akane continued to stare at him, before Akane began. “Um… we were just joking around. And uh…”
“… That’s a mailbox you’re pointing your blade at,” Katie finished.
The young man blinked in confusion, and squinted at the mailbox. He then withdrew his blade into his sleeve, and instead produced a pair of awfully thick glasses that he slipped over his eyes, the material so obscuring that his eyes could barely be seen. Stepped back, looking somewhat embarrassed.
“Oh… so it is.” He then turned towards the two young women. “… And you seem to… be… my apologies.”
On the bright side, he seemed to be rather polite, by Akane’s measure. “It’s okay, long as you don’t want to make a scene about it.”
“Oh no, no… I actually had no intention to fight, just…”
Scare the would-be pervert off, Katie had that vibe off him from word one, but she noticed something else that actually put her off.
“No harm no foul, my friend.” She glanced over to Akane, then to him. “Everything all right with you, man? You seem…”
Before she could edge towards her observation, he headed her off. “I'm fine, don't worry, just tired from my trip from China… it was a long flight.”
Akane then spoke. “Are you hungry, too? You look like you could use a meal.”
Katie was glad Akane was on the same page. “If you'd like, we can show you around. Get you somewhere you can rest.”
The young man held up his hands, gesturing politely to them. “That is very kind of you, but I couldn't impose, I'm looking-”
Akane took it even further. “My sister always loves to have guests. You can have dinner with us.”
The young man stopped, taken aback by the kindness of these locals. He did not expect such hospitality or kindness from strangers he'd pulled a blade upon. “You are so kind…”
Akane smiled to him. “Well it's not every day that a guy who pulls a weapon on us stops and apologizes after. You seem like a nice person.”
Oh, how the young man wished he was. A nice person wouldn’t be here, doing what he was about to do. “It would be rude of me to turn down such generosity. So please, lead the way.”
Katie relaxed, a sigh of relief escaping inaudibly. She looked over to Akane. “I'm gonna call Misao and tell her I'll be late getting home.”
Akane nodded and gestured for the young man to come along. Come on then, my name is Tendo Akane, and you?”
“Mu Tsu,” the young man replied, the ghost of a smile appearing on his lips. “It is nice to make your acquaintance, Tendo-san.”
Behind them, a slightly scowling Katie called the bae.
|A hundred thousand dollar set up|
“Ayy gurl, what's good?” Misao, who was happily cooking up a simple dinner of grilled cheese sandwiches atop a griddle set atop her stove, asked into her Bluetooth headset as she flipped another cooked sandwich onto the plate of a near dozen meant for her, Katie, and Ranma.
“I got that cheddar, yo, that grilled cheddar.”
“Fuck, I forgot,” Katie immediately hissed.
Misao paused and frowned. “Forgot what, that you were gonna eat and toke while I help Ran-chan grind in World of Warships?”
“Uh… yeah, today's been busy and it doesn't look like it'll stop soon, plus heading home ain't exactly safe for you right now.”
Misao didn’t like how that sounded. “What happened?”
“That Xian Pu girl is in town, and she knows I'm connected to Ranma’s girl side. I don’t want her following me home.”
Misao frowned. “Okay, thanks for the heads up. You'll be home though, right?”
“Yeah, I have something to do to lay low until dark. Akaneko and me ran into a dude all fatigued from his flight from China,” Katie explained, trying to alleviate any worries. “He’s not a bad guy so I figured I’d help him out a bit.”
“Just be careful about bringing home another stray.” Misao joked.
“I dunno, you seem taken by the last one I brought home.” Katie remarked in a dry fashion.
“Yeah, I don’t want to drool over another one when I haven't finished enjoying this one!” Misao chirped, rolling with the verbal punches like a damn bawss.
“Just be careful with him,” Katie warned. “Don’t go getting too involved.”
“Yes yes, I’m still 1000% yours, you greedy pig.” Misao rolled her eyes.
“Oink oink.” Katie snorted, cracking up at the humor. “Anyways, I gotta get going.”
“Okay, be safe bae.” Misao said, before her tone took a crooning edge. “Luv ya~”
“Love you too.” Katie said, before the line went dead.
Misao cleared the screen and set her phone down off to the side. Now all that needed to happen was-
“Hey boss, I’m home.” What impeccable timing.
“Hey sweetie, just in time. You okay with cheese?” Misao called as he walked in.
“It never bothered me,” Ranma said as he walked in and found Misao wearing a surprisingly modest pink tank top and white sweatpants. The tank top featured the objectively best pony, Rainbow Dash, the same who graced her planes, tanks, ships, and guns in her multiplayer games. The shirt was still, like much everything else she tended to wear, stretched alluringly tight by her impressive chest… where Ranma’s gaze was lingering again.
“You know, if you're going to stare like that, at least tell me what you'd do to them,” she teased.
There went Ranma’s face, red as a tomato as his eyes aimed anywhere but at her, and Misao fell into a fit of giggles.
“Don’t be so shy! I like when you look,” she reassured him as she turned to make sure the last sandwiches didn’t get too crispy.
That did nothing to abate his blush.
“It’s why I dress so nice~”
In fact it got worse.
“I got you something nice to wear for stream tonight,” Misao then revealed.
Still struggling with the revelation, Ranma thanked God for the subject change. “It isn’t anything lewd, is it?”
“Nah, just something cute and comfy,” Misao reassured him. “A spaghetti-strap top and some sweatpants as pajamas. It’s the ‘sleepover stream’, after all,” she said before she tossed Ranma a sandwich.
Catching it, Ranma took a bite. “Good thing we have off tomorrow, then, are we really gonna be up all night?”
“Only until about 0200 at the latest. I don’t like being up super late unless I’m playing online with the western youtubers or doing a Let’s Play Run. Sleep is as important for chubby gamers like me as it is for superheroes like you.”
Ranma nodded, he rather liked the sandwich given to him, the cheese was exquisite, and he could taste a hint of shredded pork belly in there. He really couldn’t get how Misao could call herself fat–sure she was on the heavier side but it definitely wasn’t out of place.
“Speaking of sleep, we could upgrade your arrangements some. You don’t have to make a bed of the couch or love seats every night.”
“Are you kidding? It’s like I have three beds,” Ranma half-joked back.
“Yeah, but I could swap one of them out for a couch futon, or just set up a bed on one side of the room…” Misao shrugged her shoulders and grinned a bit. “Or you could save me the anguish over the Feng Shui of it, and just sleep in my room, with Katie and I.”
“It’s fine, really!” Ranma insisted, trying to keep the temperature of his face down as he tried not to imagine that last one.
“Well I won’t be too pushy about it.” The for now in there went unspoken. “Just remember you can sleep a lot more… comfortably.”
There was a lot loaded into that reminder and only some of it escaped Ranma’s notice. “Jeez, I can’t tell if you’re flirting with me or just out to get a rise out of me sometimes…”
Misao put on a wry smile, as she tore a sandwich in half to bite into one of the halves. “It’s definitely more one than the other~”
She then gave him a more pointed look. “Tell me, which do you think it is?”
“Well, given how awesome I am…” Ranma began.
“Which is incredibly,” Misao piped in.
“… I’d say you’ve been flirting with me like crazy since I first got here.”
Misao half-closed her eyes, and a soft laugh escaped her lips as her cheeks colored up a bit. “Oh nice. You’re either that confident in your charms, or you’ve been paying attention.”
Ranma’s eyebrows hopped up a bit, and he watched Misao take another bite out of her sandwich while giving him an even warmer look than the usual flirtatious gazes she’d subjected him to. The bit of cheese pull she had going there made her a little cuter than she normally was.
“Um… thanks…” He murmured, not expecting that kind of look from her.
With a soft laugh, Misao picked up the plate of sandwiches and headed for the living room. “Go get changed, sweetie, stream starts in fifteen.”
Ranma was thankful to be excused to the bathroom. It meant that he could at least get some cold water to put out that fire that short look had set blazing in his chest. “Jeez… she really wants me like that, doesn’t she?”
Ten minutes went by after that, with Ranma using that time to really cool herself in the shower, before she emerged dressed in a pair of pink sweat pants and a matching pink and red top that was actually rather comfortable and not too loose. She felt a little exposed at the shoulders and around the midriff, but it wasn’t terrible.
“These might actually be nice to sleep in,” she said to Misao, who was happily enjoying a hit from her bong to whet her appetite.
Misao smirked to him. “To be honest, I prefer your usual sleeping attire.”
Which consisted, nowadays, of just a pair of boxer shorts.
“You would,” Ranma said with greater confidence as she sat down next to Misao. “Do we still have a few minutes?”
“Yep!” Misao said as she passed the bong and lighter to Ranma, who took it graciously.
Bringing the bong’s lip to her own, Ranma crossed her legs yoga style and took her hit. She’d gotten much better at enjoying Misao’s glassware since the first time those weeks ago, and now there wasn’t even a stigma attached to it for her. It was relaxing and it felt good to just sit back and get a nice comfy high going before throwing herself into some crazy game.
As she felt the lift from the bong already start to take hold, Ranma released the cloud she inhaled with a relaxed sigh, and returned the bong to Misao. “Is this really my life right now?”
Misao stopped short of toking. “Hm?”
Ranma sighed. “I live in a really nice apartment, making a lot of money off this curse… I haven’t seen my old man in almost two weeks… I’m one of the popular kids in school… and I know so many cute and awesome girls. I’ve even kinda sorta made peace with a dude I used to fight all the time.”
She shook her head. “It’s a lot to think about, you know? I’m actually kind of scared for when the other shoe drops.”
“Other shoe, huh?” Misao asked as she set the bong on the floor beside her, out of any possible camera shot. The stream was about to begin.
“The good times don’t last forever,” Ranma said. “Something bad will come along, and I don’t want to think about how bad it’ll be when it does.”
Misao nodded in agreement. “Well, there is Xian Pu running around, that’s not all that great.”
“No,” Ranma said with a sigh, “And I’m worried that when it all goes bad… it’ll be because of her.”
Misao smiled. “Hey now, it’s not like she’ll be too big a problem! You got Katie, and Akane, and Kodachi all backing you up if you have to fight her. I mean, she might be a crazy warrior woman from China, but it ain’t like she’s got an army or something to fight you all with.”
She nodded with confidence. “Even if she does find your girl side, beating her up won’t be a problem for all of you when it comes to it.”
Ranma thought about that. “Yeah, you’re right. She’s in for a world of hurt if she tries to mess with me, and she’s pretty smart… hopefully she’ll get that hint, or Ryoga will convince her of how bad her situation really is…”
Misao nodded again, and picked up the remote to turn on her entertainment complex of a home theater system. “But enough belly-aching about the bad, it’s time for the objective good of getting people on the internet to throw their monies at us while we play video games and look cute for their entertainment.”
She pressed the power button and then everything in front of her exploded in a storm of sparking electronics, plastic, glass, plaster, brick, and mortar. In an instant, half the living room was destroyed and the couch was upended, Ranma and Misao both thrown heavily to the floor as bits of debris scattered onto the floor on and around them and the lights of the apartment flickered and then went out.
Stunned, Misao laid on the floor, looking up at her dark ceiling. Her eyes fixed on it for a moment, before she realized she was somehow still alive and looked to her left, where Ranma was supposed to be. She was already up on her knees, hands resting on the overturned couch with a look on her face that was well in the range of shock, horror, and rage.
Slowly, Misao got up herself, bits of plastic and plaster falling from her hair and off her face as she looked towards where Ranma was looking… and her eyes grew large with shock as well.
Her television, her computer, her game consoles, her standing speakers, her cameras… and the entire wall behind them were gone, exposing the hallway of the apartment. In its place, Shampoo stood with her outstretched fist holding another melon hammer in front of her and a cold, murderous look in her eyes leveled onto Ranma.
“My… my apartment…” she whispered, her face completely pale. “… My equipment…”
Shampoo lowered the melon hammer, and prepared both of the weapons she carried.
“Shampoo finally find you,” she said resolutely. “Shampoo will now kill. You is not escaping.”
Disclaimer: The following is a fan-written parody. Ranma ½ is property of Rumiko Takahashi, Studio Deen, Shogakukan, Viz Media, and Madman Entertainment. Support the official release, okay?
Senpai
A Ranma ½ Story
Chapter 9/?
“So this is the other shoe.” Ranma thought, a fair assessment indeed. For here it was, in the sanctuary the young Saotome had made that the villain out for her life had appeared.
There was no movement from Shampoo yet, the ghost image of being so easily kicked in the face fresh in her mind. Indeed, she was sizing up the room, taking in the measurements and every detail she could use. Though gifted with great destructive power, what made this girl a champion was her keen mind and battle sense. For indeed, she was prepared for this encounter, as she was for every other encounter with Red.
Her rival, so like an Amazon, not an Outsider woman. Normally quick to shriek and scream, panic in the face of danger. Even the warrior women of the outside world were mere infants before the might of Joketsuzoku. It was in this understanding that women outside of their village were such frail things that the Kiss of Death became a reality.
After all, how could you fall to such useless meat?
Misao’s shock wore off just enough for her anger to come roaring to the front. “WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?! YOU FUCKING FUCK! WHAT DID YOU… FUCK!”
… But not coherency.
Shampoo ignored it. “Make you peace and bid you byes. Shampoo send you to hell quick if you good girl.”
Ranma’s fear at Shampoo melted away with the realization she had to protect Misao. In Katie’s absence, it fell to her to protect this amazing woman. “Go fuck yourself.”
The Amazon’s eyes narrowed. “You is only making thing worse.”
Ranma snorted. “Come and get me you chickenshit bitch. I already know you know you can’t win against me up close. I’ll put you down again, you damn glassjaw bitch.”
“You is think you can win?” Shampoo asked, cracking her neck. “You is think you beat Shampoo like that again?”
“Well you’re standing there talking shit from over there because you’re afraid of me.” Ranma stood up, her bravado doing wonders to keep down her instinct to grab Misao and run. “That’s actually what she wants. She wants me to try and run so she can keep her distance and try to snipe me down.”
“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” Misao hollered, finally forming something resembling human speech... though screamed at the top of her lungs. “Why is it that any of you muscle brained dumbfucks have to do such stupid shit?! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY HOUSE!”
“If you is so confident, come get Shampoo.” Shampoo made a motion like she was beckoning a cat.
“So you can run from me? You have me at a distance but your challenge required you to get in close.” Ranma said, measuring the distance and how long it’d take for her to reach Shampoo. “I just have to get her guard down…” Easier said than done of course.
Misao was going to help, as she switched to Chinese before her next tirade. “Do you know how much this cost, you meathead moron?! More than your entire fucking ass backwards village of bumpkin yokels! You think you can just smash your way into people’s houses and do what you want?!”
“Weakling sows should be quiet.” Shampoo retorted sharply, sparing a withering glare for the girl as contempt rolled off the Amazon in waves. “If useless meat think it get say, maybe Shampoo slaughter you first for warm-up.”
Misao drew back, her gray eyes wide with fury. “… Oh no you did not-”
“I say shut up, stupid fat girl!” Shampoo snapped louder at her, and that was the opening Ranma needed, crossing the distance between her and Shampoo with such speed that the dust in the air scattered to get out of her way.
Quickly, Shampoo tried to swing one of the melon hammers down, but Ranma was faster, her punch shearing through the shaft of the hammer on its way to Shampoo’s face, while she narrowly avoided the head of the hammer. Shampoo twisted out of the way, Ranma’s fist barely grazing her chin as she got clear, and jumped back to swing the other melon hammer down.
The hammer hit the floor, splintering it, and Ranma vaulted over it, her body twisting to snap a kick at Shampoo. “Don’t you ever…”
She let the kick fly, right as Shampoo’s arms came up to block it. “… THREATEN MY FRIENDS YOU DUMB BITCH!”
The force of the kick launched Shampoo down the hallway and through the window to the fire escape that waited outside. Smashing through the fire escape, Shampoo crossed the street and the roof of a shorter building–a general store–and collided loudly with an air conditioner unit on the roof, which sputtered and exploded.
Shampoo, rubbing the back of her head, managed to stagger from the cloud of smoke. Relieved that she had remembered to block the hit this time. She looked back towards the building she just left, and saw that Ranma was already falling towards her, positioning herself into a flying kick that was coming way too fast to be safely blocked.
So instead Shampoo dodged, springing into a somersault that helped her get clear of Ranma’s point of impact, which buckled the part of the roof she landed on.
“You really want this fight… then you’re going to get it!” She growled as she got back up and stared Shampoo down. “You’re going to get it and more than you can handle you psycho bitch!”
There was that impossible strength again, Shampoo could only stand in wonder at how such a tiny girl hit so goddamned hard! But it didn’t matter, here was where she was in her element, having already cased the neighborhood. The chance for victory had already fallen out of her opponent’s hands, now it was a matter of executing the plan.
“Not best start, but things still go Shampoo way.” She chortled with glee. The despair on Red’s face was gonna be orgasmic… “Everyone struggle when death come. Let see how you do yes?”
An outside spectator could hear the sound of an oncoming train horn as Ranma barreled towards Shampoo, blood in her eyes and her vision red. The sound of that was immediately interrupted by the explosion of the air conditioning unit as it met its end at Ranma’s fist.
Spinning through the air in a neat triple axle, Shampoo landed and unwrapped from her waist a long length of rope with a large bundle at the end. As Ranma pulled her fist out of the smashed air conditioner’s remains, she watched the rope become fully unfurled, the bundle releasing to reveal a deadly jagged steel dart that became a blur as Shampoo swung it around in her right hand.
Shampoo stared at Ranma, excited, bloodthirsty. Now the real fight began. “Let’s go… Red!”
With that, she launched the rope dart like a rifle shot, a crack sounding as the rope dart accelerated towards Ranma.
As the two began to clash, Misao looked around her ruined apartment. Overturned furniture, destroyed electronics, her shattered bong and scattered cannabis. She lowered her head, and took a deep breath, before she looked up, her face a mask of cold fury.
“Useless meat, huh? Let’s so how useful yours is when I hack it from your God damned body…”
She went to find her phone, she had to call her Mom.
“I really can't thank you enough for your hospitality,” Mousse said kindly to Kasumi over the dinner that she served him.
Kasumi was all smiles as she returned his compliment. “There’s no need to thank me, I’m just happy that you enjoy it.”
Mousse looked back down at his food, a small, gracious, but ultimately strained smile across his lips. “It’s very good.”
“So what brings you to Japan, Mu-san?” Akane asked him.
“Just to settle some business, nothing serious.” Mousse picked at his food, and took a bite.
Katie regarded his answer through the eyes of heaven, and was worried by the fact that there was nothing there. His heart rate, his breathing, they were perfectly calm as though he were resting. It made him completely unreadable.
There were two types of people like this, and one of them was extremely dangerous if they were a martial artist. The first was, naturally a person who was at rest. Relaxed. Perfectly calm. A good example Katie could use as a baseline would be Misao, or Kasumi-senpai. The second sort was Mousse, a person who had no visible tells whatsoever to offer insight into his thoughts and feelings.
Mousse was an empty, emotionally suppressed shell of a man with no thoughts or desires. Which meant that he was a person who was totally at peace with himself. These were the sort of people who were extremely dangerous to themselves and others, especially others, because whatever they had decided upon was that–they would see their objective to the end and they didn’t care about any other factor in their way.
People like this tended to do awful things to themselves or others unless something shook them out of it.
“Business, ah?” Akane asked. “What kind? You’ve traveled kind of far for it.”
“Personal business,” he explained. “I would rather not such kind people as yourselves not get caught up in my… well… business.”
These people were too kind for that. Too kind to see the mess he would have to make…
Akane respectfully backed down, though she kept getting this strong vibe that something was off. “Well, I hope whatever business you have, it’s taken care of.”
“It will be,” he whispered.
Akane and Kasumi shared worried glances. Katie just furrowed her brows.
Nabiki entered the Tendo home then, feeling pretty happy. She got to spend uninterrupted time with Ranma and there was at least hope on the horizon. Still, she wasn’t really ready for what awaited her when she walked into the common room to find Katie, Akane, and some Chinese guy she didn’t know.
“Okay what?” She said, looking right at him.
“Uh, hello.” Mousse, who like Shampoo wound up attached to the mispronunciation of his name, looked away all pitiful like and it was only deepening the sense that she was missing something.
Akane gestured to Mousse. “This is Mu Tsu, there was a small misunderstanding, but it’s cool now and since he’s kind of worn out from his travels we’re being hospitable.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said politely.
Well mannered at least. “I’m Nabiki, a pleasure.” She seemed a little lost as the unexpected guest threw off her mental train.
Akane was always there to throw her a bone. “So how’d the search for Ranma’s rival go?”
Nabiki furrowed her brows a bit. “Well, we were right about him and the wolf being one and the same…”
Mousse, who was sipping some miso soup, grew very tense at that moment a wolf was mentioned.
Katie spoke up then. “Seems there is some luck on our side.”
“Turns out that he’s a pretty nice guy too,” she went on. “Apparently because of Ranma he doesn’t have nearly as many problems as he did, and he really likes his curse.”
Mousse stared into his cup of soup, his every muscle tense and his breathing surprisingly still.
Akane was relieved. “That’s good.” She then remembered. “Oh wait… that wolf… he’s…”
Katie scowled. “Shampoo’s husband?”
Nabiki nodded. “They are happily married, it appears. One mention of RicePony though and she lost all other pretenses, she was ready to kill anyone who got in her way.”
Katie’s scowl flew into a shocked gasp. “Wait… what? She was there?!”
Akane was equally alarmed. “Please tell us she wasn’t there!”
Nabiki looked back and forth between them. “Yeah, she was…”
“Did Ranma go straight back to my house?!” Katie demanded.
Nabiki froze as she realized why they were alarmed. “Oh… shit.”
The universe’s timing was impeccable again as an alarm app on Katie’s phone blared to life right after Nabiki said that.
Katie whipped her phone out in the space between seconds and paled at all the alarm reports. Door breached, wall breached, window breached… “That... that bitch just attacked my house.”
Akane gasped in horror but couldn’t find words to express it.
Nabiki had words that were surprisingly self-incriminating. “Oh shit, I was too busy flirting with Ranma to check if she might be following us!”
Katie was already up and headed for the door. “Don’t worry about it for now, I gotta get back there!”
Akane was right behind her. “I’m coming too!”
Before Katie could start an argument, Mousse suddenly showed a spark of life. “Xian Pu…” He muttered somewhat darkly. “I will come help too.” He was still mostly lifeless and empty, enough to make your skin crawl.
“There’s no time, we can assign blame later!” Nabiki snapped, ending any debate. “Go save our fiancé!” That was to Akane, a sign to show how serious Nabiki viewed what was happening.
Katie screwed up her face and just let out a frustrated “Damn it!” as she lead the rescue party out of the dojo.
Adrenaline was high, fire thrumming in their veins as they ran. Shampoo had shaken the school, something that had been reinforced in case of building smashing martial artists. But the apartment building was just a regular building, built like normal people lived there and not superhuman martial artists who sent people into clock towers for being shitheads. It was that oversight that worried Katie the most and why she was at the lead.
Behind her, Akane could only worry for Ranma. He had been so afraid of Shampoo, only resembling the cocksure boy she knew once the wolf showed up. Could he really be all right against her? And what of Misao, she was a normal girl?! She might be caught in the crossfire and the youngest Tendo’s heart lurched in fear what something happening to Misao might do to Katie.
There were no thoughts to Mousse, he simply ran on autopilot to keep up with the girls. However, there was a faint glimmer in his eye, as if something was still lurking within the husk he had been reduced to. What was it exactly and what had happened to him?
Such was their speed, they arrived just as the fight was beginning in earnest overhead.
“Is that them?” Akane asked as the sound of the rope dart cracked the air apart. “What was that?”
“Some kind of weapon that Shampoo girl uses.” Katie said, trying to focus her sight as fast as she could to make out the details.
“Xian... Pu.” Mousse hissed under his breath, suddenly finding focus. The glimmer became a glint in rapid succession that caused his glasses to grow completely opaque.
Ranma twisted around the odd weapon, using her increased speed and smaller frame to evade it. The distance had to narrow down and fast, which was why she focused on her legs and launched herself like a rocket at Shampoo. It was truly a marvel what could be done when you really stop holding back, as the redhead overtook the retreating Shampoo and narrowly missed the haymaker that took a chunk out of the side of the roof Shampoo had been standing on.
The Amazon threw a kick to distract her prey from the dart’s sudden nigh impossible return. The gambit might have worked if her quarry had been interested in conventional defense. As such, the kick missed when Ranma ducked and evading the scorching left pulled her sneak attack off. Still, the chunk it tore off the roof right by the redhead gave her time to start getting distance again.
“Get back here and take your medicine bitch!” Ranma hollered, stopping only long enough to break the dart. She was off after the Amazon without a thought, though in reality she was watching for anything.
The speed was wrong, unless she had leveled it up somehow. The girl was charging faster and harder than she had when fleeing in China. Was it somehow related to her desire to fight? Whatever it was, it was already being filed away for later by Shampoo, who threw three throwing knives behind her without looking.
Of course, they missed but the mere half second of delay granted Shampoo a wider berth. Out came the bow and an arrow was nocked before Ranma or the spectators below could register the bow had been drawn. It was all so amazingly fast, befitting a Champion.
Champion, yes it was a title she had been born to own. She ran harder, soared farther than anyone else in her age group. Her strength was already on par with some adults by ten. She excelled at everything it seemed, even when she failed. Tasting that strength once was enough to learn her of the mistake of letting that girl hit her.
She was always watching, this girl named Xian Pu. Her eyes absorbing information as she planned and placed the pieces that would ensure her success. She twisted and let the arrow fly, straight at the heart of her opponent. It was perfect, this was her-
Ranma never saw the arrow but her left hand plucked it from the air and broke it without even pausing to consider it.
“The hell?” Shampoo thought as she pulled another arrow out to nock it faster than before.
The redhead closed in and the radius she could fire shrank immeasurably, Gritting her teeth, the Amazon put the three dimensional nature of the environment to her benefit, jumping up and away from Ranma as she loosed the second arrow. This too was perfect and yet-
Ranma’s right hand slashed the arrow out of the air, cutting the arrow in half mid flight before she even began to understand why she was moving.
“… Holy shit.” Katie was using Heaven now and could see the magnificent defense. “Ranma must be in some kind of zone because how the fuck did he do that?”
“Do what?” Akane asked, not paying attention to Mousse and focusing on Katie.
“He just like fucking karate chopped an arrow out of the air without even recognizing it was there.” Katie explained, exasperated. “His danger sense is unworldly!”
Mousse began to take several breaths as he focused on where Shampoo was.
“Impossible.” This was said in Chinese, she didn’t trust her Japanese to give her something close to right. “What is she?”
The distance was still in her favor but it was clear that the anger in her rival was focusing her instead of making her sloppy. She put the bow away, folding it up in a fraction of a second and pulled out a dozen throwing knives, six in each hand. She had to keep her distance, she had-
Ranma suddenly zipped forward again, almost teleporting forward.
“No you don’t!” Shampoo thought, throwing all twelve knives at one, managing to make an near impossible to dodge wall of steel.
Near impossible of course meant there was the possibility of evasion and it was in that possibility that the demonic redhead found her salvation. She twisted, twirling herself over most of them, grabbing the ones that got closest to her. Upon landing, Ranma launched one of the knives at Shampoo.
That was a clang of metal on metal as it took out the next knife Shampoo had thrown as an insurance policy.
The second of the pilfered knives was sent hurtling at the owner, who had to evade with great haste. The knife hurtled into roof with enough force to crack it. Shampoo touched down and sprinted off, desperate to keep ahead. The distance was hers, the distance was-
She had miscalculated when she had enraged Red, this much was obvious as she raised her arms to block the thundering right cross from Ranma who had anticipated the Amazon’s likely escape route and leapt in front of her. This power, this unbelievable power, what was its secret?
The Amazon was sent bodily off the roof her guard broken but her arms luckily were not. Still they stung but she twisted to fling herself towards the ground to give her some respite to recover. Every second counted with this monster and she needed to-
“Look there she is!” Katie hollered, pointing her out for the spectators only a scant number meters away.
“How in the world did they know?” Shampoo thought, before she spotted a familiar face. “Mu Tsu?! But he-”
“The fuck?” Katie asked as a berserker scream erupted from Mousse. She turned to see him charging towards Shampoo with the hunger of a starving animal. “Whoa!” She avoided being trampled.
“What got into him?” Akane wondered.
“Xian Pu!” The once reserved and placid shell of a man hollered, sounding possessed by a demon. The scimitar he had earlier was out and being brought down at Shampoo at lighting speed.
“Whoa, what?!” Ranma called from the rooftops, as she watched the sudden interloper interrupt. The blade had missed, but the impact caused nearby cars to jump in their place and the street to crack.
“Mu Tsu, what are you even doing here?!” Shampoo hollered as she dodged the slash, skipping along the road to avoid the splitting pavement.
“Killing you!” Mousse roared, not even coming close to explaining anything. He pulled his weapon from the ground and pointed it at Shampoo. “You’re scum… SCUM!”
Katie whistled. “Well, the man’s got style. Let’s stomp a mudhole in this cunt’s ass.” She was about to go join in on the festivities when she heard a familiar voice.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY PAZ, I TOLD YOU I’LL PAY FOR THE FUCKING DAMAGES!” Misao screamed at the landlady, sounding a thousand times more furious than Katie ever heard before.
“The hell’s crawled up your ass?” Katie called, turning back towards the source of the shouting.
“Apparently we were supposed to psychically know some building busting cunt from China was gonna fly in and wreck the fucking place!” Misao roared back. “And don’t you start sassing me either! I’ve had it up to here with tonight and I’m not in the fucking mood.”
“Okay okay, what happened?” Katie tried to placate the infuriated girl.
“She destroyed everything, my bong, my weed, AND MY FUCKING HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLAR PRODUCTION SET!” Misao started out calmly but was screaming loud enough to wake the dead by the end. “Do you know how much I’m losing on this outside of repairs? I’m going to be out of commission for weeks! That’s money I make!”
“Right, um.” Katie said, before pointing towards where Mousse was engaging Shampoo in sworded combat. “Well we kind of have her cornered so I was gonna elbow her face in as payback.”
“No, you’re taking me to Mom’s.” Misao said, tone brokering no argument. “That bitch’s ass is MINE.”
Akane heard all the shouting and understood most of why she’d feel that way but leave it to Senpai right? “Excuse me, but shouldn’t you leave to Katie-senpai and the others?”
“Listen, sweetie, when a psychopath busts a wall in your house, destroying a ton of expensive shit, looks down upon you while you voice your very valid complaints and then INSULTS YOU ON TOP OF IT, THEN YOU CAN TELL ME HOW TO FUCKING HANDLE THIS!” Misao almost got through the recap before her rage overtook her again.
“… I’m sorry.” Akane said, shrinking away.
“Okay, so you want to kick her ass, but how?” Katie asked.
“That’s why we’re going to Mom’s. She’s got something for her punk ass.” Misao said, pointing at Katie. “You’re going to make sure no one gets in our way from here to there.”
There’d be no discussion it seemed. “All right, you got it. Let’s go to your Mom’s and see what she’s got.”
Misao nodded, before she looked at Akane. “You seem like someone who tries to see the best in people. If you want to end this without someone getting thoroughly fucking ruined, do it before I get back. Because if she’s still standing when I get here, there will be Blood.”
“Duty calls,” Katie said, bowing to Akane. “Sorry Akaneko, she’ll apologize once she’s not super pissed.”
“Th-that’s all right.” Akane said, waving it off. “You two go, I’ll wait for my turn.”
Katie and Misao promptly made tracks in the direction of Misao’s mother’s house.
Ranma called down. “Hey, you ok?”
“Considering I just pulled on Godzilla’s tail and asked her politely not destroy Tokyo and she didn’t crush me like ant... yeah, I’m good.” Akane said, looking over at the fight. “I wonder how Mousse is going to fair.” He was so weak before.
“Mousse?” Ranma asked.
“The guy who is trying to cut your Shampoo problem down to size.” Akane explained.
“Oh.” It was a simple response, but one that suited the moment.
In the grand scheme of things, there were a lot of words that could be spared on the history between Mousse and Shampoo. From the time they met as children, the threads of fate’s rich tapestry had seen fit to tie them together. To be certain, there had been a lot of incidents that had fostered everything that had lead. But none were as bad as-
“You used me, ” Mousse accused Shampoo, swinging for her face with the scimitar at high speed. “You took my love and threw it on the ground just for what? A revenge you didn’t need to obtain? That you tried cripple me just to cover your guilt is the only reason I’m still standing here.”
“You’re an idiot.” Shampoo said without a trace of emotion. Her dao did an admirable job of keeping the curved blade away from her. “I told you countless times that I hated you. Days on end without count. That you could fall for such an easy trick is exactly why you were never worthy of me in the first place.”
Their slashes blurred as they danced along the street, sparks dancing off into the night like fireflies.
“And that somehow makes it okay for you to trample my heart like that?” Mousse asked, snorting in contempt. “Ah but I do forget, since you have no say in who becomes your husband, you wouldn’t understand what romance and love is in the first place.”
Shampoo snarled. “Shut your filthy mouth before I close it!” She forced him away with a mighty shove.
“Struck a nerve have I?” Mousse asked as he alighted himself on his feet. “Tell me, do you believe he loves you really because he punched you in the face first?”
“A male who has no clue what goes into our prized rituals doesn’t get to question who I give my heart to!” Shampoo snapped back, holding her blade in front of her.
“Oh I know all about those ‘prized rituals’ and how you throw yourself at the feet of the barbarous outsiders so he’ll put his dick in you.” Mousse sneered, switching tactics to throw a knife at Shampoo.
Without even trying, Shampoo blocked the projectile, eyes never leaving the male who was out for her life.
“Look at that, you only even know how to block like that because of me.” Mousse said, laughing with madness. “And yet you act like you were always the best.”
“Shut up and fight,” Shampoo returned.
“I’ll fight how I wish!” Mousse hollered, attacking with further abandon. He whipped a bladed chain at Shampoo’s face. When that was blocked, he came at her with a spinning slash that she narrowly avoided.
“Wow, he’s pretty good.” Akane murmured, though she wasn’t sure she liked how the timid guy she met had morphed into some kind of psycho.
“Nah, she’s holding back,” Ranma said, shaking her head. “She knows I’m still here so she’s taking it easy.”
“He was pretty weak before, can he keep going at this pace?” Akane asked with apparent apprehension.
That thought was going through Shampoo’s mind as well, as she could tell that Mousse was going at full throttle, not even caring about redlining. He was going to just hurl everything he had at her in this desperate scramble. Scramble, yes, that was a good word for this hectic hack and slash fight as they continued to fight back and forth across the street.
“You and that old bat, you think you can use people however you wish.” Mousse shouted, now using two swords to press Shampoo. “That everyone else are pawns for you to move and sacrifice like they have no feelings or desires of their own.”
“If you had a brain in your head, you’d have never fallen for that ploy in the first place.” Shampoo said, just barely now exerting herself against him with the second sword in place. “But you keep blaming other people for your failures.”
“Excuses, excuses!” Mousse roared, continue to pour on the effort. He was going to crash any second it seemed but he had something keeping him on his feet. “As if you don’t know what she did to me, her most devoted pawn!” He lashed out at her with kick just to mix it up.
Shampoo actually shouldered the kick and skittered back with it. “What nonsense are you babbling now?”
Mousse actually stopped. “Don’t pretend you don’t know!”
“I’m not pretending, I don’t.” Shampoo said earnestly. “What the hell did she do to you that made you this bloodthirsty?”
Mousse laughed, weakly at first before he was full bore insanity laughing. “That’s just great you… you don’t know! You don’t… know… ahuh…”
“Know what? Spit it out or stop yelling about it!” Shampoo snapped.
“If you really want to know, the old ba-” Mousse started, before a very solid and muscular arm slammed across his chest, flipping the poor bastard around a couple times before he landed face first into the pavement completely out cold.
“You never give up do you?” Ryoga spat, looking down at the unconscious young man.
“Airen!” Shampoo yelped, having thought she had given him the slip long enough to end this.
“Ryoga!” Ranma called, leaping down to stand next to Akane.
“You’re being a bad girl…” Ryoga admonished before he turned to face the pair of people across from him. “But I love that about you.”
“Ready to change your mind about that?” Ranma said. “She fucked up big time.”
“Only one who fucked up is you, Red!” Shampoo said as she readied her dao.
Ranma bristled. “You just don’t get it, do you?! This isn’t even about that stupid food anymore! It’s what you just freaking did! You wrecked my house! How is that worth more than your stupid pride?!”
Akane called out as well. “People who have nothing to do with this are getting caught up in this… if this keeps up…!”
Shampoo shot her a look much as she did Misao. “People who have nothing to do with this stay out of Shampoo way! Get hint! Go away so Shampoo can kill Red!”
“That’s IT!” Ranma yelled. “I don’t even know why I’m arguing with you, I’m just going to beat the stuffing out of you!”
Ryoga just blew out a sigh and stepped forward. “Can’t let you do that, Red.”
Ranma recoiled a bit. “What?”
“I said, I’m not going to stand by and watch you beat up my wife,” he said simply.
“She trashed my apartment! My roommate’s pissed!” Ranma shouted back. “And did I forget to mention that she still wants to kill me?!”
Ranma was beyond furious. After the time he spent fighting alongside her against this nutjob, he was going to do nothing because he got roped into some insane marriage tradition?
“It’s not that I don’t want this to happen, and I really don’t want it to,” Ryoga lamented as he sank into a fighting crouch. “But I have a duty as a husband to uphold.”
Ranma bristled, her eyes narrowing. “Even when she’s going to… you know what? Nevermind.” Ranma said, throwing out any hope she had of a friendship with Ryoga at this moment. “Bring it on Ryoga.”
Akane stepped up, drawing off her back the shinai she brought with her, tapping it against the ground. “Ranma… I am with you on this.”
Ranma looked over at Akane. “Akane…”
She then looked ahead. “This girl… she doesn’t care who she trashes as long as she has her way. That reminds me way too much of Kuno.”
Raising her shinai, she achieved a mid stance, the tip of the shinai aimed at Shampoo. “I don’t care how important she is to you, Ryoga! But I’m not letting someone like that run around, never again!”
“Airen?” Shampoo asked uncertainly, having expected him to just drag her away anyways.
“It’s okay, Xian Pu.” Ryoga assured. “I won’t let them hurt you.”
“There no need for-” She began to protest the protection
“I love you, so stop arguing and get ready to fight.” He snapped back. “Let’s see how they fair against the both of us.”
“L-Love?!” She thought almost, dumbfounded. “Y-yes!”
“You want her? Get through me!” Ryoga roared, stamping a foot and shattering the asphalt.
“With pleasure!” Akane and Ranma both replied as they began to walk towards them.
Misao Darlian was not a girl given to a temper. In fact, when it came to matters of anger, it took a tremendous amount to really agitate her. However–as one Mikado Sanzenin learned several months ago–when her fury was triggered, she had a wrath that shook the world and even drove Katie into silent compliance. The two of them stood outside a hastily summoned limousine in front of the towering black monolith in the heart of Shinjuku Ward, the headquarters of Hyuuga Heavy Industries.
Hyuuga Heavy, as it was often shortened to, was the company inherited by Hyuuga Momiji and Hyuuga Mizuho, Misao’s mother and aunt respectively. Since the 70s, the company built ships and planes for the Japanese Self-Defense Forces–among others–but in the last twelve years, since the sisters Hyuuga took leadership, more esoteric technology. With such interesting work accelerating in the last year alone.
“I could be breaking her in half for you right now,” Katie pointed out as they began to walk towards the front doors of the building.
“That bitch has her pride, and I have mine. My apartment got trashed, and my roommate has a target on his back and I’m supposed to sit back and have no say on that? Fuck that. I’m destroying that cow and shipping her home to her inbred family so they know the fuck better than to march through people’s houses like they own them. And a bill will be attached.”
She waved her hand, much like a Jedi, as she reached the doors, and they swept wide open. Across the long blue carpet on white tile floor at a front desk, a colorful woman sat behind the desk. Sporting bright orange hair with yellow-dyed tresses and darker red tips, the hazel-eyed woman looked up and smiled brightly.
“Hello, Misa-chan, Katie-chan-” She stopped when she saw the look on her face. “Ah… Misao…?”
“Unlock the basement elevator, Reika-san,” Misao said. “I need to talk to Mom.”
Reika nodded obediently, and hit a button on the phone at her desk. “The elevator’s open.”
As the two walked past, Reika looked over to Katie, mouthing a “What happened?”
Katie shook her head, warning her to not ask lest she get dragged into something she wasn’t ready to handle. Accepting that, the secretary went back to what she’d been doing before the couple walked in–watching the King of Braves GaoGaiGar punch a Zondar’s face off with an envious sigh.
Less than a minute later, the elevator doors opened, revealing a large, wide-corridor laboratory lined with thick glass windows, showing various machines and production lines constructing parts and equipment ranging from engines to weapons, to mechanical limbs of various sizes. It didn’t look like anything standard she’d seen before.
Katie looked back and forth at the lines, before her eyes fell to the front, watching the back of Misao’s head as she led her to a laboratory at the end of the hall.
“The heck is all this?” She asked. “I mean, I know you guys make military stuff, but…”
“Don’t worry about, it’s a side project,” Misao advised as they reached the doors.
The double doors opened, revealing a row of seven large metal cylinders, each labeled 00-07, with a cylinder labeled 08 pulled from the wall to the floor, underneath a large gantry that a mass of manipulator arms hung over, hard at work on the machine within.
Surrounding the container were several engineers and scientists, with one standing out–a black-haired woman shorter than the already diminutive Misao, wearing a lab coat. Turning to face them the woman, who was a spitting image of Misao without the dye job and having a chest flatter than Katie’s, lit up in a warm smile.
“Hey there, girls… what’s…” Momiji Darlian trailed off when she saw how angry Misao looked. “… What happened?”
“I need the CX Type 2,” Misao said simply.
Momiji tilted her head to the side, and brought up a hand to adjust her the black-rimmed glasses she wore.
Katie looked over at Misao, then at Momiji. “CX?”
“Type 2, the Oni unit? Why?” Misao’s mother asked.
“Type 2?” Katie asked before she looked up at the cylinders. “What is this stuff?”
“A bitch destroyed my apartment to try to kill one of my friends, and she had the nerve to rub my face in it. Type 2 is perfect for her,” Misao said.
Momiji looked over at the Cylinder labeled 02, then back to her daughter. “You do realize what the Type 2 is designed for.”
“I know, I designed it,” Misao responded. “And I want the lesson I teach to stick.”
Turning to face the cylinder completely, Momiji sighed. “Good thing you live in Nerima… Prepare CX Type 2 for combat deployment.”
The cylinder opened slowly opened, and when the light hit the contents, Katie tensed up. “Uh… Misao…”
Misao walked towards the cylinder, the fury even colder. “I’d text Akane if I were you for a status update; because it won’t take me long to get dressed.”
Mousse regained consciousness, his head throbbing something fierce as his senses had returned. Shaking it, he groped around on the ground, searching for his glasses, and managed to find them lying not too far from where he lay. Taking them in hand, he slipped them on and prepared to rise to reengage Shampoo.
“Ow… ow!”
Or not, apparently whatever hit him had done so with such force that it broke something, probably two or three ribs. Crossing his arm over his chest and remaining on his knees, he searched around for whatever could have hit him that hard so he could properly vow revenge against them. Of all the times… when he was so close to getting her…
“Who am I kidding?” He growled to himself. “I wasn’t anywhere near getting her.”
He pounded his free hand onto the ground. “She’s even stronger than she was… because I had been the fool…”
Yes, ever the lamentable fool...
There was a cacophonous bang nearby, as Ranma collided against Ryoga, her high-speed cross being caught in his hand with ease. As Mousse strained himself to turn to see, he saw Akane launching herself at Shampoo with that bamboo stick of hers. Before he could begin to scoff, the girl made a clever hop to position herself for a strike, only for Shampoo to avoid it by going after Ranma.
“What... the...” Mousse could only gawk at the high speed battle. It was like something out of fiction made real.
Shampoo paid for her dismissal of Akane when the shinai brushed against her hip. It only stung but it brought Shampoo around to wave the dao at the interloper. That slice had been fast but it whiffed Akane as she hopped away. This girl...
“Hmph, you is dumb to come at Shampoo with stick. If want go find real weapon, you have Shampoo permission to run.” She made a shooing motion, before she started turn again towards her quarry.
Again, this was a mistake, as Akane was almost blindingly fast in closing the gap, shinai screaming for Shampoo’s face.
“What the...?” Shampoo thought as she brought up an arm to block the strike, feeling a bit of the power behind it. “Who is this girl?”
“Don’t get cocky,” Akane said, pupils dilated as she began to focus on Shampoo. “You’ll regret it when you face me.”
Ryoga got bored of holding Ranma back, sending a backhand swipe that ripped the air apart as it came for the redhead’s ribs.
Ranma pushed herself up and over the swipe, performing a handstand on Ryoga, before using her perch to try and twist around to kick the stalwart Hibiki.
Try is the optimal word as Ryoga shoved his rival away before she was even a quarter of the way through the move.
“You’re pretty strong like this,” Ryoga congratulated. “But you sure you can hurt me?”
“Just watch me.” Ranma promised, crouching down as she did the calculations in her head. That exchange gave her data on how fast Ryoga was reacting to her right now, which was crucial for this next part.
A knife sailed in from the side, thrown by Shampoo who was moving to another position. Akane followed the Amazon, unconcerned about the knife. The world was melting away and there was only her target it seemed.
Without looking, Ranma caught it and flung it into the dirt. In the next instant between breaths, she was charging towards Shampoo’s new position.
“No you don’t,” Ryoga hollered, managing to body block the charging redhead. “I said go through me damnit!”
“All right, we’ll do it your way!” Ranma had momentarily bounced off Ryoga’s body, coming back with a left hook to the body Ryoga just tanked.
“Come on, hit me for real man!” Ryoga taunted, twisting around and plunging an overhand thrust. Ranma avoided it narrowly and the pavement below was shattered by what seemed to be a very casual effort for the young man.
“That strength is still unreal,” Ranma thought as she took a position away from Ryoga. “His destructive power is insane but... he’s still slow and has a nasty habit of not defending attacks. I can do this... I can win!” She was back in, swinging a blow for Hibiki’s head.
He moved to block but she wove around him, sprinting at Shampoo. Ryoga didn’t let the surprise catch him flat footed, as he was in hot pursuit. This was bad, so very bad!
Shampoo danced around another swing from Akane, feeling the hum and power behind the blow. She was powerful, really powerful, her hit power bordered on Shampoo’s own if the estimate was right. Also, it was quick to see why she had chosen that stick; by focusing on the shinai, Akane’s wild swings became tight and precise.
And very fast as another looping slash came at the Amazon, missing by a narrower margin.
“Shampoo!” Ranma roared, lunging at her back and ready to clobber her in the back of the head.
“You coward!” She was still recovering, if that blow landed it-
“I said no you don’t!” Ryoga bellowed, catching ranma by the back of her shirt and yanking the girl away, thwarting the haymaker that just brushed Shampoo’s hair.
A fluff of purple hair filled the air as Shampoo could feel the power behind that attack down to her toes. That fury was still there and the promise to harm the Amazon was still on the table of being fulfilled.
“Stop getting in my way dumbass!” Ranma yelled, kicking off the ground and tumbling over Ryoga’s outstretched arm to slam both feet into his face. She tumbled backwards, alighting on her feet and slamming a one-two into Ryoga’s exposed side.
“That tickles!” Ryoga snapped, warding Ranma off with another backhand. He was once again between the redhead and Shampoo. “Try hitting me for real.”
“I still don’t have the adjustment down to bring out 100% of my power.” Ranma thought with a bitter look on her face. “If I could reach that, I could send this jackass flying!” Problem was, that’d take time and time she didn’t have. If she kept going she was bound to run out of energy and slow down, which would mean her death.
“Come on come on!” Ryoga taunted. “Don’t you want at her?”
“Ignore the bait and break him down. Where to hit and how hard.” Ranma silently categorized her opponent, trying to determine how much more punishment he could take. “At least if he fails Shampoo will be at a severe disadvantage.” Plan set, she was ready to rumble.
Shampoo bent backwards over the thrust, but this proved foolish as Akane snapped the shinai down right between the Amazon’s breasts with a stinging retort.
“Ow!” Shampoo squealed. “You stupid pig!”
“You aren’t good enough at Japanese to talk shit are you?” Akane was breathing slightly heavier than normal, her eyes almost glowing.
“Shut up.” Shampoo snapped, swiping at her with the dao.
But Akane had seen it coming the literal instant Shampoo’s muscles so much as twitched to begin the swing. With that much advanced warning, dodging it was easy. The counterattack to the wrist was even easier.
“Wrist!” Akane said, just before her shinai caught the Amazon on the wrist with a sharp smack.
“Ahh?” Shampoo silently reacted, her right hand going numb from the power of the strike. She kept the sword in her left and thrusted it at Akane.
Again though, Akane’s focus had alerted her to the attack what seemed like a minute before hand. She dodged towards Shampoo’s right to avoid the thrust and swung a horizontal slash into Shampoo’s chest.
“Torso!” She crowed as it slammed home just above the breasts,
“Agh!” The Amazon squealed in pain as her lungs burned from the sudden forceful ejection of breath. “How?”
“I can see through you.” Akane said simply. “Come at me if you think you can win.”
Come at her Shampoo did, flowing into a series of one handed thrusts and swipes that should have been too hard to follow. If Akane were bluffing that is, but to the Amazon’s growing ire, she was being read so thoroughly. Nothing came close, nothing but maybe... there! She thrusted out a right cross with her thought to be injured hand, hoping to surprise this stupid obstacle.
“Head!” Akane called as her shinai banged down on Shampoo’s head. She had gotten behind the Amazon by using the girl’s own attacks to hide her movements.
“Gah!” Shampoo screamed, that one hurt!
“Huh?” Ryoga turned, having thought Shampoo could handle the other girl.
This was all Ranma needed to slam home a thunderous left to the jaw. As Ryoga tried to counter, Ranma slipped down and slammed a three piece combo right to her opponent’s exposed stomach. An attempted front kick to ward her off only gave the redhead a platform to spring up and once more slam both feet into Ryoga’s face.
“Warm your way up to it.” Ranma thought as she tumbled away from the seemingly unharmed Hibiki. “Don’t try to rush a hundred, just make your way up until he feels it. And then make him feel it some more.”
“Are you even trying?” Ryoga asked, laughing a little. He was a little concerned about Shampoo though. Still, Ranma was right there and he had to contend with his old rival for now.
“Just getting started.” Ranma promised and even though Ryoga didn’t blink he still missed her step in.
“He’s so much faster now!” Ryoga fully realized as now a four hit combo slammed into his stomach. He thrusted his left out at her to bait the counter, and countered with speedy right hook.
It was anticipated and Ranma only half stepped in, letting the deadly hook fall short before sending his own right into Ryoga’s face. A left managed to follow in and land before Ryoga could uncross himself to again send Ranma away with a fearsome swipe.
Mousse, who had been watching everything, could only stare in slack jawed amazement. Who the hell were these strange people and why were they so strong? Just what kind of Outsider place was this? Some kind of monster breeding ground?!
“Where did they get this kind of power?” Mousse wondered, before jealousy gripped him. “And why don’t I have it?!” His fist found the dirt again as bitter tears filled his eyes.
Back over with Akane and Shampoo, they were locked in a deadly dance, the former skating on the razor’s edge as she flirted with disaster in the form of a lethally sharp blade that would carve her up like a cheap slab of meat. Though to the latter, no matter how close it looked, the swings never felt farther than they had before now. It was impossible for someone to get this much of a read on a total stranger and yet-
“Head! Torso! Wrist!” Akane was literally calling her shots and Shampoo could do nothing to evade the stinging slaps. Each one rattled her bones and sapped dry her stamina, little by little it was proving that stick was better than her sword.
“How? How is you do this?” Shampoo was almost going nuts trying to figure it out. “Tell Shampoo!”
“Sorry, there’s no more freebies.” Akane said simply, already reading ahead so much that she had evaded the third move Shampoo was going to throw before the first even began to come out.
“TELL SHAMPOO!” The Amazon’s composure just as she let fly the useless throwing knife that went off into the night.
“Head!” Akane roared back, smacking her over the head with the shinai.
“This is impossible!” Shampoo thought, her teeth chattering from the hit.
Ryoga again turned to look at the fight behind him, having heard Shampoo’s cry. “Time to switch partners then.” He slumped his guard, inviting Ranma to try something.
In this moment, Ranma had forgotten Akane and even Shampoo, and all she saw was Ryoga mocking her. With that rage inducing sight before her, she rushed forward and slammed a flying kick that sent Ryoga skidding back.
Also at this moment, all Akane could see was Shampoo. Nothing else even existed but her and Shampoo. She was so focused and centered on Shampoo she forgot to filter in Ryoga. She was new to this technique and hadn’t been shown the downside of it and as such she used it without a single bit of care. She rushed Shampoo again, determined that she had worn down Shampoo enough to end it.
It was a pity, had she remembered Ryoga, had she been able to see him at all, what happened next would have been avoided. Instead she hopped face first into Ryoga’s outstretched fist after the boy spun himself right into her path. Her head snapped back and her legs flew out from under her as she tumbled to the ground not even trying to catch herself.
“Why don’t you just take a nap, eh girlie?” Ryoga said, not even following through.
From Ranma’s vantage point, it unfolded in a matter of microseconds, as the joy of a strong hit gave way to the realization of a ploy to the horror of seeing Akane run right into Ryoga’s fist. She wasn’t placid for long, as she managed to catch Akane just before she could hit the pavement.
“AKANE!” Ranma screamed as she cradled the unconscious girl. “Akane! Speak to me, oi!”
She was breathing but completely out cold. There was a slight twitching as the youngest Tendo’s body tried to complete its last command. She didn’t even realize she had been knocked out!
This was too much, it was all too fucking much man. All this because of food, because of stupid pride?! What the fuck man, what the fuck?
“Hibiki… I’m gonna fucking kill you.” Ranma swore as she put Akane down gently. “But only after you watch me tear that bitch’s lungs from her chest.” An aura of sheer rage enveloped her, even if she knew such threats were idle. Two against one? That would be fair odds if she were a guy at the moment.
“Bluff all you want.” Ryoga said, before shrugging his head. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry it went this way. I really did want to be friends.” There was a sense of fatalism there, knowing that Shampoo was going to make good on her vow.
Shampoo was still stunned by Ryoga’s sudden appearance but she was recovering, both from the hits and from the shock. She had enough in the tank and with her invincible shield of a husband, this fight was as good as theirs.
“Is checkmate yes?” She asked, smiling for Ryoga.
“About to be.” Ryoga was ready to charge in now, no more just getting in the way.
“Shit…” Ranma cursed, even as she prepared to make her last stand. “Shit…”
“Hey, you two,” Katie called out then.
Ryoga and Shampoo both turned and found Katie and Misao standing right whereabouts the latter last saw them. Katie was now wearing a three-piece black suit and tie and a pair of slightly tinted glasses. Misao’s attire was entirely different, wearing a raincoat that was much bigger than her, the hood pulled over her head.
“Your chance at victory just left,” she continued before her tone dovetailed into a lament. “I’m sure you two had big plans but they were over the moment she attacked our home.”
Her breath blew out in a sigh. “But hey, big fella, you can just sit this out and you can walk away. But if you insist on standing with her, you’re going to accept the bill.”
There was a violent chill in the air, as the words were said with absolute certainty. There was no bluffing, no joshing, just straight talk. Plain as day how it was, thank you very much it was that frank.
“You’re talking big lady, but if you want to beat the both of us, you’re gonna need a miracle.” Ryoga replied, trying to push through the feeling of dread in his stomach.
“And one has arrived.” Misao’s cool voice belied her rage as a crackling sound overtook it. Blue lights appeared under the raincoat, .which then began to burn away until it revealed that Misao was wearing gray and light blue armor, similar in form and shape to a mecha, except the helmet appeared to be an armored flight suit helmet. An 02 was embossed on the shoulder, and upon its back was a backpack with four wings that rose up and out, and a fifth fin rising up behind her head, giving it a much more menacing feel. On her shoulders and thighs were large scissor blades bearing similar fins to the ones upon her back, with smaller versions on her forearms and hips.
“What the hell is that?” Ryoga asked.
Of all the people Shampoo expected to come get in her way… she certainly did not expect the fat girl to come back acting tough in a suit of armor. She had certainly expected the giant girl who could fight, but she didn’t seem interested in this fight at all. In fact, she seemed much more concerned about the weird kendo girl that her airen had just left a wreck all over the floor.
The fact that she had the nerve to show up in such a ridiculous armor, looking like a cosplayer from a robot video game, just insulted Shampoo more than anything. Who did this fat dumb girl think she was? Didn’t she get the hint when she destroyed her house?
“What did Shampoo tell you, Fat Girl? This is not your business,” she warned her as she readied the dao.
“Bitch,” Misao said, “This is my business now, and I don’t want anyone in my way until it is resolved. Like the bae said, it was the moment you came into my house.”
The fins began to crackle with power, bolts of electricity arcing between the and across the armor. Then, to Shampoo’s surprise and Ryoga’s immense dread, she lifted up onto her toes, and then completely off her feet as if propelled by magic..
“As for what this is?” She said to Ryoga as she saw the dread in his eyes. “This is that bitch called payback.”
With that, the helmet’s armored visor fell over her eyes and the face guard slid in place, creating the expressionless face of a mechanical soldier, whose eyes flashed a brilliant green–then red.
Senpai
A Ranma ½ Story
Chapter 9/?
|Useless Meat|
“So this is the other shoe.” Ranma thought, a fair assessment indeed. For here it was, in the sanctuary the young Saotome had made that the villain out for her life had appeared.
There was no movement from Shampoo yet, the ghost image of being so easily kicked in the face fresh in her mind. Indeed, she was sizing up the room, taking in the measurements and every detail she could use. Though gifted with great destructive power, what made this girl a champion was her keen mind and battle sense. For indeed, she was prepared for this encounter, as she was for every other encounter with Red.
Her rival, so like an Amazon, not an Outsider woman. Normally quick to shriek and scream, panic in the face of danger. Even the warrior women of the outside world were mere infants before the might of Joketsuzoku. It was in this understanding that women outside of their village were such frail things that the Kiss of Death became a reality.
After all, how could you fall to such useless meat?
Misao’s shock wore off just enough for her anger to come roaring to the front. “WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?! YOU FUCKING FUCK! WHAT DID YOU… FUCK!”
… But not coherency.
Shampoo ignored it. “Make you peace and bid you byes. Shampoo send you to hell quick if you good girl.”
Ranma’s fear at Shampoo melted away with the realization she had to protect Misao. In Katie’s absence, it fell to her to protect this amazing woman. “Go fuck yourself.”
The Amazon’s eyes narrowed. “You is only making thing worse.”
Ranma snorted. “Come and get me you chickenshit bitch. I already know you know you can’t win against me up close. I’ll put you down again, you damn glassjaw bitch.”
“You is think you can win?” Shampoo asked, cracking her neck. “You is think you beat Shampoo like that again?”
“Well you’re standing there talking shit from over there because you’re afraid of me.” Ranma stood up, her bravado doing wonders to keep down her instinct to grab Misao and run. “That’s actually what she wants. She wants me to try and run so she can keep her distance and try to snipe me down.”
“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” Misao hollered, finally forming something resembling human speech... though screamed at the top of her lungs. “Why is it that any of you muscle brained dumbfucks have to do such stupid shit?! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY HOUSE!”
“If you is so confident, come get Shampoo.” Shampoo made a motion like she was beckoning a cat.
“So you can run from me? You have me at a distance but your challenge required you to get in close.” Ranma said, measuring the distance and how long it’d take for her to reach Shampoo. “I just have to get her guard down…” Easier said than done of course.
Misao was going to help, as she switched to Chinese before her next tirade. “Do you know how much this cost, you meathead moron?! More than your entire fucking ass backwards village of bumpkin yokels! You think you can just smash your way into people’s houses and do what you want?!”
“Weakling sows should be quiet.” Shampoo retorted sharply, sparing a withering glare for the girl as contempt rolled off the Amazon in waves. “If useless meat think it get say, maybe Shampoo slaughter you first for warm-up.”
Misao drew back, her gray eyes wide with fury. “… Oh no you did not-”
“I say shut up, stupid fat girl!” Shampoo snapped louder at her, and that was the opening Ranma needed, crossing the distance between her and Shampoo with such speed that the dust in the air scattered to get out of her way.
Quickly, Shampoo tried to swing one of the melon hammers down, but Ranma was faster, her punch shearing through the shaft of the hammer on its way to Shampoo’s face, while she narrowly avoided the head of the hammer. Shampoo twisted out of the way, Ranma’s fist barely grazing her chin as she got clear, and jumped back to swing the other melon hammer down.
The hammer hit the floor, splintering it, and Ranma vaulted over it, her body twisting to snap a kick at Shampoo. “Don’t you ever…”
She let the kick fly, right as Shampoo’s arms came up to block it. “… THREATEN MY FRIENDS YOU DUMB BITCH!”
The force of the kick launched Shampoo down the hallway and through the window to the fire escape that waited outside. Smashing through the fire escape, Shampoo crossed the street and the roof of a shorter building–a general store–and collided loudly with an air conditioner unit on the roof, which sputtered and exploded.
Shampoo, rubbing the back of her head, managed to stagger from the cloud of smoke. Relieved that she had remembered to block the hit this time. She looked back towards the building she just left, and saw that Ranma was already falling towards her, positioning herself into a flying kick that was coming way too fast to be safely blocked.
So instead Shampoo dodged, springing into a somersault that helped her get clear of Ranma’s point of impact, which buckled the part of the roof she landed on.
“You really want this fight… then you’re going to get it!” She growled as she got back up and stared Shampoo down. “You’re going to get it and more than you can handle you psycho bitch!”
There was that impossible strength again, Shampoo could only stand in wonder at how such a tiny girl hit so goddamned hard! But it didn’t matter, here was where she was in her element, having already cased the neighborhood. The chance for victory had already fallen out of her opponent’s hands, now it was a matter of executing the plan.
“Not best start, but things still go Shampoo way.” She chortled with glee. The despair on Red’s face was gonna be orgasmic… “Everyone struggle when death come. Let see how you do yes?”
An outside spectator could hear the sound of an oncoming train horn as Ranma barreled towards Shampoo, blood in her eyes and her vision red. The sound of that was immediately interrupted by the explosion of the air conditioning unit as it met its end at Ranma’s fist.
Spinning through the air in a neat triple axle, Shampoo landed and unwrapped from her waist a long length of rope with a large bundle at the end. As Ranma pulled her fist out of the smashed air conditioner’s remains, she watched the rope become fully unfurled, the bundle releasing to reveal a deadly jagged steel dart that became a blur as Shampoo swung it around in her right hand.
Shampoo stared at Ranma, excited, bloodthirsty. Now the real fight began. “Let’s go… Red!”
With that, she launched the rope dart like a rifle shot, a crack sounding as the rope dart accelerated towards Ranma.
As the two began to clash, Misao looked around her ruined apartment. Overturned furniture, destroyed electronics, her shattered bong and scattered cannabis. She lowered her head, and took a deep breath, before she looked up, her face a mask of cold fury.
“Useless meat, huh? Let’s so how useful yours is when I hack it from your God damned body…”
She went to find her phone, she had to call her Mom.
|Olympus Has Fallen|
“I really can't thank you enough for your hospitality,” Mousse said kindly to Kasumi over the dinner that she served him.
Kasumi was all smiles as she returned his compliment. “There’s no need to thank me, I’m just happy that you enjoy it.”
Mousse looked back down at his food, a small, gracious, but ultimately strained smile across his lips. “It’s very good.”
“So what brings you to Japan, Mu-san?” Akane asked him.
“Just to settle some business, nothing serious.” Mousse picked at his food, and took a bite.
Katie regarded his answer through the eyes of heaven, and was worried by the fact that there was nothing there. His heart rate, his breathing, they were perfectly calm as though he were resting. It made him completely unreadable.
There were two types of people like this, and one of them was extremely dangerous if they were a martial artist. The first was, naturally a person who was at rest. Relaxed. Perfectly calm. A good example Katie could use as a baseline would be Misao, or Kasumi-senpai. The second sort was Mousse, a person who had no visible tells whatsoever to offer insight into his thoughts and feelings.
Mousse was an empty, emotionally suppressed shell of a man with no thoughts or desires. Which meant that he was a person who was totally at peace with himself. These were the sort of people who were extremely dangerous to themselves and others, especially others, because whatever they had decided upon was that–they would see their objective to the end and they didn’t care about any other factor in their way.
People like this tended to do awful things to themselves or others unless something shook them out of it.
“Business, ah?” Akane asked. “What kind? You’ve traveled kind of far for it.”
“Personal business,” he explained. “I would rather not such kind people as yourselves not get caught up in my… well… business.”
These people were too kind for that. Too kind to see the mess he would have to make…
Akane respectfully backed down, though she kept getting this strong vibe that something was off. “Well, I hope whatever business you have, it’s taken care of.”
“It will be,” he whispered.
Akane and Kasumi shared worried glances. Katie just furrowed her brows.
Nabiki entered the Tendo home then, feeling pretty happy. She got to spend uninterrupted time with Ranma and there was at least hope on the horizon. Still, she wasn’t really ready for what awaited her when she walked into the common room to find Katie, Akane, and some Chinese guy she didn’t know.
“Okay what?” She said, looking right at him.
“Uh, hello.” Mousse, who like Shampoo wound up attached to the mispronunciation of his name, looked away all pitiful like and it was only deepening the sense that she was missing something.
Akane gestured to Mousse. “This is Mu Tsu, there was a small misunderstanding, but it’s cool now and since he’s kind of worn out from his travels we’re being hospitable.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said politely.
Well mannered at least. “I’m Nabiki, a pleasure.” She seemed a little lost as the unexpected guest threw off her mental train.
Akane was always there to throw her a bone. “So how’d the search for Ranma’s rival go?”
Nabiki furrowed her brows a bit. “Well, we were right about him and the wolf being one and the same…”
Mousse, who was sipping some miso soup, grew very tense at that moment a wolf was mentioned.
Katie spoke up then. “Seems there is some luck on our side.”
“Turns out that he’s a pretty nice guy too,” she went on. “Apparently because of Ranma he doesn’t have nearly as many problems as he did, and he really likes his curse.”
Mousse stared into his cup of soup, his every muscle tense and his breathing surprisingly still.
Akane was relieved. “That’s good.” She then remembered. “Oh wait… that wolf… he’s…”
Katie scowled. “Shampoo’s husband?”
Nabiki nodded. “They are happily married, it appears. One mention of RicePony though and she lost all other pretenses, she was ready to kill anyone who got in her way.”
Katie’s scowl flew into a shocked gasp. “Wait… what? She was there?!”
Akane was equally alarmed. “Please tell us she wasn’t there!”
Nabiki looked back and forth between them. “Yeah, she was…”
“Did Ranma go straight back to my house?!” Katie demanded.
Nabiki froze as she realized why they were alarmed. “Oh… shit.”
The universe’s timing was impeccable again as an alarm app on Katie’s phone blared to life right after Nabiki said that.
Katie whipped her phone out in the space between seconds and paled at all the alarm reports. Door breached, wall breached, window breached… “That... that bitch just attacked my house.”
Akane gasped in horror but couldn’t find words to express it.
Nabiki had words that were surprisingly self-incriminating. “Oh shit, I was too busy flirting with Ranma to check if she might be following us!”
Katie was already up and headed for the door. “Don’t worry about it for now, I gotta get back there!”
Akane was right behind her. “I’m coming too!”
Before Katie could start an argument, Mousse suddenly showed a spark of life. “Xian Pu…” He muttered somewhat darkly. “I will come help too.” He was still mostly lifeless and empty, enough to make your skin crawl.
“There’s no time, we can assign blame later!” Nabiki snapped, ending any debate. “Go save our fiancé!” That was to Akane, a sign to show how serious Nabiki viewed what was happening.
Katie screwed up her face and just let out a frustrated “Damn it!” as she lead the rescue party out of the dojo.
Adrenaline was high, fire thrumming in their veins as they ran. Shampoo had shaken the school, something that had been reinforced in case of building smashing martial artists. But the apartment building was just a regular building, built like normal people lived there and not superhuman martial artists who sent people into clock towers for being shitheads. It was that oversight that worried Katie the most and why she was at the lead.
Behind her, Akane could only worry for Ranma. He had been so afraid of Shampoo, only resembling the cocksure boy she knew once the wolf showed up. Could he really be all right against her? And what of Misao, she was a normal girl?! She might be caught in the crossfire and the youngest Tendo’s heart lurched in fear what something happening to Misao might do to Katie.
There were no thoughts to Mousse, he simply ran on autopilot to keep up with the girls. However, there was a faint glimmer in his eye, as if something was still lurking within the husk he had been reduced to. What was it exactly and what had happened to him?
Such was their speed, they arrived just as the fight was beginning in earnest overhead.
“Is that them?” Akane asked as the sound of the rope dart cracked the air apart. “What was that?”
“Some kind of weapon that Shampoo girl uses.” Katie said, trying to focus her sight as fast as she could to make out the details.
“Xian... Pu.” Mousse hissed under his breath, suddenly finding focus. The glimmer became a glint in rapid succession that caused his glasses to grow completely opaque.
Ranma twisted around the odd weapon, using her increased speed and smaller frame to evade it. The distance had to narrow down and fast, which was why she focused on her legs and launched herself like a rocket at Shampoo. It was truly a marvel what could be done when you really stop holding back, as the redhead overtook the retreating Shampoo and narrowly missed the haymaker that took a chunk out of the side of the roof Shampoo had been standing on.
The Amazon threw a kick to distract her prey from the dart’s sudden nigh impossible return. The gambit might have worked if her quarry had been interested in conventional defense. As such, the kick missed when Ranma ducked and evading the scorching left pulled her sneak attack off. Still, the chunk it tore off the roof right by the redhead gave her time to start getting distance again.
“Get back here and take your medicine bitch!” Ranma hollered, stopping only long enough to break the dart. She was off after the Amazon without a thought, though in reality she was watching for anything.
The speed was wrong, unless she had leveled it up somehow. The girl was charging faster and harder than she had when fleeing in China. Was it somehow related to her desire to fight? Whatever it was, it was already being filed away for later by Shampoo, who threw three throwing knives behind her without looking.
Of course, they missed but the mere half second of delay granted Shampoo a wider berth. Out came the bow and an arrow was nocked before Ranma or the spectators below could register the bow had been drawn. It was all so amazingly fast, befitting a Champion.
Champion, yes it was a title she had been born to own. She ran harder, soared farther than anyone else in her age group. Her strength was already on par with some adults by ten. She excelled at everything it seemed, even when she failed. Tasting that strength once was enough to learn her of the mistake of letting that girl hit her.
She was always watching, this girl named Xian Pu. Her eyes absorbing information as she planned and placed the pieces that would ensure her success. She twisted and let the arrow fly, straight at the heart of her opponent. It was perfect, this was her-
Ranma never saw the arrow but her left hand plucked it from the air and broke it without even pausing to consider it.
“The hell?” Shampoo thought as she pulled another arrow out to nock it faster than before.
The redhead closed in and the radius she could fire shrank immeasurably, Gritting her teeth, the Amazon put the three dimensional nature of the environment to her benefit, jumping up and away from Ranma as she loosed the second arrow. This too was perfect and yet-
Ranma’s right hand slashed the arrow out of the air, cutting the arrow in half mid flight before she even began to understand why she was moving.
“… Holy shit.” Katie was using Heaven now and could see the magnificent defense. “Ranma must be in some kind of zone because how the fuck did he do that?”
“Do what?” Akane asked, not paying attention to Mousse and focusing on Katie.
“He just like fucking karate chopped an arrow out of the air without even recognizing it was there.” Katie explained, exasperated. “His danger sense is unworldly!”
Mousse began to take several breaths as he focused on where Shampoo was.
“Impossible.” This was said in Chinese, she didn’t trust her Japanese to give her something close to right. “What is she?”
The distance was still in her favor but it was clear that the anger in her rival was focusing her instead of making her sloppy. She put the bow away, folding it up in a fraction of a second and pulled out a dozen throwing knives, six in each hand. She had to keep her distance, she had-
Ranma suddenly zipped forward again, almost teleporting forward.
“No you don’t!” Shampoo thought, throwing all twelve knives at one, managing to make an near impossible to dodge wall of steel.
Near impossible of course meant there was the possibility of evasion and it was in that possibility that the demonic redhead found her salvation. She twisted, twirling herself over most of them, grabbing the ones that got closest to her. Upon landing, Ranma launched one of the knives at Shampoo.
That was a clang of metal on metal as it took out the next knife Shampoo had thrown as an insurance policy.
The second of the pilfered knives was sent hurtling at the owner, who had to evade with great haste. The knife hurtled into roof with enough force to crack it. Shampoo touched down and sprinted off, desperate to keep ahead. The distance was hers, the distance was-
She had miscalculated when she had enraged Red, this much was obvious as she raised her arms to block the thundering right cross from Ranma who had anticipated the Amazon’s likely escape route and leapt in front of her. This power, this unbelievable power, what was its secret?
The Amazon was sent bodily off the roof her guard broken but her arms luckily were not. Still they stung but she twisted to fling herself towards the ground to give her some respite to recover. Every second counted with this monster and she needed to-
“Look there she is!” Katie hollered, pointing her out for the spectators only a scant number meters away.
“How in the world did they know?” Shampoo thought, before she spotted a familiar face. “Mu Tsu?! But he-”
“The fuck?” Katie asked as a berserker scream erupted from Mousse. She turned to see him charging towards Shampoo with the hunger of a starving animal. “Whoa!” She avoided being trampled.
“What got into him?” Akane wondered.
“Xian Pu!” The once reserved and placid shell of a man hollered, sounding possessed by a demon. The scimitar he had earlier was out and being brought down at Shampoo at lighting speed.
“Whoa, what?!” Ranma called from the rooftops, as she watched the sudden interloper interrupt. The blade had missed, but the impact caused nearby cars to jump in their place and the street to crack.
“Mu Tsu, what are you even doing here?!” Shampoo hollered as she dodged the slash, skipping along the road to avoid the splitting pavement.
“Killing you!” Mousse roared, not even coming close to explaining anything. He pulled his weapon from the ground and pointed it at Shampoo. “You’re scum… SCUM!”
Katie whistled. “Well, the man’s got style. Let’s stomp a mudhole in this cunt’s ass.” She was about to go join in on the festivities when she heard a familiar voice.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY PAZ, I TOLD YOU I’LL PAY FOR THE FUCKING DAMAGES!” Misao screamed at the landlady, sounding a thousand times more furious than Katie ever heard before.
“The hell’s crawled up your ass?” Katie called, turning back towards the source of the shouting.
“Apparently we were supposed to psychically know some building busting cunt from China was gonna fly in and wreck the fucking place!” Misao roared back. “And don’t you start sassing me either! I’ve had it up to here with tonight and I’m not in the fucking mood.”
“Okay okay, what happened?” Katie tried to placate the infuriated girl.
“She destroyed everything, my bong, my weed, AND MY FUCKING HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLAR PRODUCTION SET!” Misao started out calmly but was screaming loud enough to wake the dead by the end. “Do you know how much I’m losing on this outside of repairs? I’m going to be out of commission for weeks! That’s money I make!”
“Right, um.” Katie said, before pointing towards where Mousse was engaging Shampoo in sworded combat. “Well we kind of have her cornered so I was gonna elbow her face in as payback.”
“No, you’re taking me to Mom’s.” Misao said, tone brokering no argument. “That bitch’s ass is MINE.”
Akane heard all the shouting and understood most of why she’d feel that way but leave it to Senpai right? “Excuse me, but shouldn’t you leave to Katie-senpai and the others?”
“Listen, sweetie, when a psychopath busts a wall in your house, destroying a ton of expensive shit, looks down upon you while you voice your very valid complaints and then INSULTS YOU ON TOP OF IT, THEN YOU CAN TELL ME HOW TO FUCKING HANDLE THIS!” Misao almost got through the recap before her rage overtook her again.
“… I’m sorry.” Akane said, shrinking away.
“Okay, so you want to kick her ass, but how?” Katie asked.
“That’s why we’re going to Mom’s. She’s got something for her punk ass.” Misao said, pointing at Katie. “You’re going to make sure no one gets in our way from here to there.”
There’d be no discussion it seemed. “All right, you got it. Let’s go to your Mom’s and see what she’s got.”
Misao nodded, before she looked at Akane. “You seem like someone who tries to see the best in people. If you want to end this without someone getting thoroughly fucking ruined, do it before I get back. Because if she’s still standing when I get here, there will be Blood.”
“Duty calls,” Katie said, bowing to Akane. “Sorry Akaneko, she’ll apologize once she’s not super pissed.”
“Th-that’s all right.” Akane said, waving it off. “You two go, I’ll wait for my turn.”
Katie and Misao promptly made tracks in the direction of Misao’s mother’s house.
Ranma called down. “Hey, you ok?”
“Considering I just pulled on Godzilla’s tail and asked her politely not destroy Tokyo and she didn’t crush me like ant... yeah, I’m good.” Akane said, looking over at the fight. “I wonder how Mousse is going to fair.” He was so weak before.
“Mousse?” Ranma asked.
“The guy who is trying to cut your Shampoo problem down to size.” Akane explained.
“Oh.” It was a simple response, but one that suited the moment.
|Love Like Winter|
In the grand scheme of things, there were a lot of words that could be spared on the history between Mousse and Shampoo. From the time they met as children, the threads of fate’s rich tapestry had seen fit to tie them together. To be certain, there had been a lot of incidents that had fostered everything that had lead. But none were as bad as-
“You used me, ” Mousse accused Shampoo, swinging for her face with the scimitar at high speed. “You took my love and threw it on the ground just for what? A revenge you didn’t need to obtain? That you tried cripple me just to cover your guilt is the only reason I’m still standing here.”
“You’re an idiot.” Shampoo said without a trace of emotion. Her dao did an admirable job of keeping the curved blade away from her. “I told you countless times that I hated you. Days on end without count. That you could fall for such an easy trick is exactly why you were never worthy of me in the first place.”
Their slashes blurred as they danced along the street, sparks dancing off into the night like fireflies.
“And that somehow makes it okay for you to trample my heart like that?” Mousse asked, snorting in contempt. “Ah but I do forget, since you have no say in who becomes your husband, you wouldn’t understand what romance and love is in the first place.”
Shampoo snarled. “Shut your filthy mouth before I close it!” She forced him away with a mighty shove.
“Struck a nerve have I?” Mousse asked as he alighted himself on his feet. “Tell me, do you believe he loves you really because he punched you in the face first?”
“A male who has no clue what goes into our prized rituals doesn’t get to question who I give my heart to!” Shampoo snapped back, holding her blade in front of her.
“Oh I know all about those ‘prized rituals’ and how you throw yourself at the feet of the barbarous outsiders so he’ll put his dick in you.” Mousse sneered, switching tactics to throw a knife at Shampoo.
Without even trying, Shampoo blocked the projectile, eyes never leaving the male who was out for her life.
“Look at that, you only even know how to block like that because of me.” Mousse said, laughing with madness. “And yet you act like you were always the best.”
“Shut up and fight,” Shampoo returned.
“I’ll fight how I wish!” Mousse hollered, attacking with further abandon. He whipped a bladed chain at Shampoo’s face. When that was blocked, he came at her with a spinning slash that she narrowly avoided.
“Wow, he’s pretty good.” Akane murmured, though she wasn’t sure she liked how the timid guy she met had morphed into some kind of psycho.
“Nah, she’s holding back,” Ranma said, shaking her head. “She knows I’m still here so she’s taking it easy.”
“He was pretty weak before, can he keep going at this pace?” Akane asked with apparent apprehension.
That thought was going through Shampoo’s mind as well, as she could tell that Mousse was going at full throttle, not even caring about redlining. He was going to just hurl everything he had at her in this desperate scramble. Scramble, yes, that was a good word for this hectic hack and slash fight as they continued to fight back and forth across the street.
“You and that old bat, you think you can use people however you wish.” Mousse shouted, now using two swords to press Shampoo. “That everyone else are pawns for you to move and sacrifice like they have no feelings or desires of their own.”
“If you had a brain in your head, you’d have never fallen for that ploy in the first place.” Shampoo said, just barely now exerting herself against him with the second sword in place. “But you keep blaming other people for your failures.”
“Excuses, excuses!” Mousse roared, continue to pour on the effort. He was going to crash any second it seemed but he had something keeping him on his feet. “As if you don’t know what she did to me, her most devoted pawn!” He lashed out at her with kick just to mix it up.
Shampoo actually shouldered the kick and skittered back with it. “What nonsense are you babbling now?”
Mousse actually stopped. “Don’t pretend you don’t know!”
“I’m not pretending, I don’t.” Shampoo said earnestly. “What the hell did she do to you that made you this bloodthirsty?”
Mousse laughed, weakly at first before he was full bore insanity laughing. “That’s just great you… you don’t know! You don’t… know… ahuh…”
“Know what? Spit it out or stop yelling about it!” Shampoo snapped.
“If you really want to know, the old ba-” Mousse started, before a very solid and muscular arm slammed across his chest, flipping the poor bastard around a couple times before he landed face first into the pavement completely out cold.
“You never give up do you?” Ryoga spat, looking down at the unconscious young man.
“Airen!” Shampoo yelped, having thought she had given him the slip long enough to end this.
“Ryoga!” Ranma called, leaping down to stand next to Akane.
“You’re being a bad girl…” Ryoga admonished before he turned to face the pair of people across from him. “But I love that about you.”
“Ready to change your mind about that?” Ranma said. “She fucked up big time.”
“Only one who fucked up is you, Red!” Shampoo said as she readied her dao.
Ranma bristled. “You just don’t get it, do you?! This isn’t even about that stupid food anymore! It’s what you just freaking did! You wrecked my house! How is that worth more than your stupid pride?!”
Akane called out as well. “People who have nothing to do with this are getting caught up in this… if this keeps up…!”
Shampoo shot her a look much as she did Misao. “People who have nothing to do with this stay out of Shampoo way! Get hint! Go away so Shampoo can kill Red!”
“That’s IT!” Ranma yelled. “I don’t even know why I’m arguing with you, I’m just going to beat the stuffing out of you!”
Ryoga just blew out a sigh and stepped forward. “Can’t let you do that, Red.”
Ranma recoiled a bit. “What?”
“I said, I’m not going to stand by and watch you beat up my wife,” he said simply.
“She trashed my apartment! My roommate’s pissed!” Ranma shouted back. “And did I forget to mention that she still wants to kill me?!”
Ranma was beyond furious. After the time he spent fighting alongside her against this nutjob, he was going to do nothing because he got roped into some insane marriage tradition?
“It’s not that I don’t want this to happen, and I really don’t want it to,” Ryoga lamented as he sank into a fighting crouch. “But I have a duty as a husband to uphold.”
Ranma bristled, her eyes narrowing. “Even when she’s going to… you know what? Nevermind.” Ranma said, throwing out any hope she had of a friendship with Ryoga at this moment. “Bring it on Ryoga.”
Akane stepped up, drawing off her back the shinai she brought with her, tapping it against the ground. “Ranma… I am with you on this.”
Ranma looked over at Akane. “Akane…”
She then looked ahead. “This girl… she doesn’t care who she trashes as long as she has her way. That reminds me way too much of Kuno.”
Raising her shinai, she achieved a mid stance, the tip of the shinai aimed at Shampoo. “I don’t care how important she is to you, Ryoga! But I’m not letting someone like that run around, never again!”
“Airen?” Shampoo asked uncertainly, having expected him to just drag her away anyways.
“It’s okay, Xian Pu.” Ryoga assured. “I won’t let them hurt you.”
“There no need for-” She began to protest the protection
“I love you, so stop arguing and get ready to fight.” He snapped back. “Let’s see how they fair against the both of us.”
“L-Love?!” She thought almost, dumbfounded. “Y-yes!”
“You want her? Get through me!” Ryoga roared, stamping a foot and shattering the asphalt.
“With pleasure!” Akane and Ranma both replied as they began to walk towards them.
|But Her Pride Refused to Die|
Misao Darlian was not a girl given to a temper. In fact, when it came to matters of anger, it took a tremendous amount to really agitate her. However–as one Mikado Sanzenin learned several months ago–when her fury was triggered, she had a wrath that shook the world and even drove Katie into silent compliance. The two of them stood outside a hastily summoned limousine in front of the towering black monolith in the heart of Shinjuku Ward, the headquarters of Hyuuga Heavy Industries.
Hyuuga Heavy, as it was often shortened to, was the company inherited by Hyuuga Momiji and Hyuuga Mizuho, Misao’s mother and aunt respectively. Since the 70s, the company built ships and planes for the Japanese Self-Defense Forces–among others–but in the last twelve years, since the sisters Hyuuga took leadership, more esoteric technology. With such interesting work accelerating in the last year alone.
“I could be breaking her in half for you right now,” Katie pointed out as they began to walk towards the front doors of the building.
“That bitch has her pride, and I have mine. My apartment got trashed, and my roommate has a target on his back and I’m supposed to sit back and have no say on that? Fuck that. I’m destroying that cow and shipping her home to her inbred family so they know the fuck better than to march through people’s houses like they own them. And a bill will be attached.”
She waved her hand, much like a Jedi, as she reached the doors, and they swept wide open. Across the long blue carpet on white tile floor at a front desk, a colorful woman sat behind the desk. Sporting bright orange hair with yellow-dyed tresses and darker red tips, the hazel-eyed woman looked up and smiled brightly.
“Hello, Misa-chan, Katie-chan-” She stopped when she saw the look on her face. “Ah… Misao…?”
“Unlock the basement elevator, Reika-san,” Misao said. “I need to talk to Mom.”
Reika nodded obediently, and hit a button on the phone at her desk. “The elevator’s open.”
As the two walked past, Reika looked over to Katie, mouthing a “What happened?”
Katie shook her head, warning her to not ask lest she get dragged into something she wasn’t ready to handle. Accepting that, the secretary went back to what she’d been doing before the couple walked in–watching the King of Braves GaoGaiGar punch a Zondar’s face off with an envious sigh.
Less than a minute later, the elevator doors opened, revealing a large, wide-corridor laboratory lined with thick glass windows, showing various machines and production lines constructing parts and equipment ranging from engines to weapons, to mechanical limbs of various sizes. It didn’t look like anything standard she’d seen before.
Katie looked back and forth at the lines, before her eyes fell to the front, watching the back of Misao’s head as she led her to a laboratory at the end of the hall.
“The heck is all this?” She asked. “I mean, I know you guys make military stuff, but…”
“Don’t worry about, it’s a side project,” Misao advised as they reached the doors.
The double doors opened, revealing a row of seven large metal cylinders, each labeled 00-07, with a cylinder labeled 08 pulled from the wall to the floor, underneath a large gantry that a mass of manipulator arms hung over, hard at work on the machine within.
Surrounding the container were several engineers and scientists, with one standing out–a black-haired woman shorter than the already diminutive Misao, wearing a lab coat. Turning to face them the woman, who was a spitting image of Misao without the dye job and having a chest flatter than Katie’s, lit up in a warm smile.
“Hey there, girls… what’s…” Momiji Darlian trailed off when she saw how angry Misao looked. “… What happened?”
“I need the CX Type 2,” Misao said simply.
Momiji tilted her head to the side, and brought up a hand to adjust her the black-rimmed glasses she wore.
Katie looked over at Misao, then at Momiji. “CX?”
“Type 2, the Oni unit? Why?” Misao’s mother asked.
“Type 2?” Katie asked before she looked up at the cylinders. “What is this stuff?”
“A bitch destroyed my apartment to try to kill one of my friends, and she had the nerve to rub my face in it. Type 2 is perfect for her,” Misao said.
Momiji looked over at the Cylinder labeled 02, then back to her daughter. “You do realize what the Type 2 is designed for.”
“I know, I designed it,” Misao responded. “And I want the lesson I teach to stick.”
Turning to face the cylinder completely, Momiji sighed. “Good thing you live in Nerima… Prepare CX Type 2 for combat deployment.”
The cylinder opened slowly opened, and when the light hit the contents, Katie tensed up. “Uh… Misao…”
Misao walked towards the cylinder, the fury even colder. “I’d text Akane if I were you for a status update; because it won’t take me long to get dressed.”
|Sadie Hawkin’s Fight|
Mousse regained consciousness, his head throbbing something fierce as his senses had returned. Shaking it, he groped around on the ground, searching for his glasses, and managed to find them lying not too far from where he lay. Taking them in hand, he slipped them on and prepared to rise to reengage Shampoo.
“Ow… ow!”
Or not, apparently whatever hit him had done so with such force that it broke something, probably two or three ribs. Crossing his arm over his chest and remaining on his knees, he searched around for whatever could have hit him that hard so he could properly vow revenge against them. Of all the times… when he was so close to getting her…
“Who am I kidding?” He growled to himself. “I wasn’t anywhere near getting her.”
He pounded his free hand onto the ground. “She’s even stronger than she was… because I had been the fool…”
Yes, ever the lamentable fool...
There was a cacophonous bang nearby, as Ranma collided against Ryoga, her high-speed cross being caught in his hand with ease. As Mousse strained himself to turn to see, he saw Akane launching herself at Shampoo with that bamboo stick of hers. Before he could begin to scoff, the girl made a clever hop to position herself for a strike, only for Shampoo to avoid it by going after Ranma.
“What... the...” Mousse could only gawk at the high speed battle. It was like something out of fiction made real.
Shampoo paid for her dismissal of Akane when the shinai brushed against her hip. It only stung but it brought Shampoo around to wave the dao at the interloper. That slice had been fast but it whiffed Akane as she hopped away. This girl...
“Hmph, you is dumb to come at Shampoo with stick. If want go find real weapon, you have Shampoo permission to run.” She made a shooing motion, before she started turn again towards her quarry.
Again, this was a mistake, as Akane was almost blindingly fast in closing the gap, shinai screaming for Shampoo’s face.
“What the...?” Shampoo thought as she brought up an arm to block the strike, feeling a bit of the power behind it. “Who is this girl?”
“Don’t get cocky,” Akane said, pupils dilated as she began to focus on Shampoo. “You’ll regret it when you face me.”
Ryoga got bored of holding Ranma back, sending a backhand swipe that ripped the air apart as it came for the redhead’s ribs.
Ranma pushed herself up and over the swipe, performing a handstand on Ryoga, before using her perch to try and twist around to kick the stalwart Hibiki.
Try is the optimal word as Ryoga shoved his rival away before she was even a quarter of the way through the move.
“You’re pretty strong like this,” Ryoga congratulated. “But you sure you can hurt me?”
“Just watch me.” Ranma promised, crouching down as she did the calculations in her head. That exchange gave her data on how fast Ryoga was reacting to her right now, which was crucial for this next part.
A knife sailed in from the side, thrown by Shampoo who was moving to another position. Akane followed the Amazon, unconcerned about the knife. The world was melting away and there was only her target it seemed.
Without looking, Ranma caught it and flung it into the dirt. In the next instant between breaths, she was charging towards Shampoo’s new position.
“No you don’t,” Ryoga hollered, managing to body block the charging redhead. “I said go through me damnit!”
“All right, we’ll do it your way!” Ranma had momentarily bounced off Ryoga’s body, coming back with a left hook to the body Ryoga just tanked.
“Come on, hit me for real man!” Ryoga taunted, twisting around and plunging an overhand thrust. Ranma avoided it narrowly and the pavement below was shattered by what seemed to be a very casual effort for the young man.
“That strength is still unreal,” Ranma thought as she took a position away from Ryoga. “His destructive power is insane but... he’s still slow and has a nasty habit of not defending attacks. I can do this... I can win!” She was back in, swinging a blow for Hibiki’s head.
He moved to block but she wove around him, sprinting at Shampoo. Ryoga didn’t let the surprise catch him flat footed, as he was in hot pursuit. This was bad, so very bad!
Shampoo danced around another swing from Akane, feeling the hum and power behind the blow. She was powerful, really powerful, her hit power bordered on Shampoo’s own if the estimate was right. Also, it was quick to see why she had chosen that stick; by focusing on the shinai, Akane’s wild swings became tight and precise.
And very fast as another looping slash came at the Amazon, missing by a narrower margin.
“Shampoo!” Ranma roared, lunging at her back and ready to clobber her in the back of the head.
“You coward!” She was still recovering, if that blow landed it-
“I said no you don’t!” Ryoga bellowed, catching ranma by the back of her shirt and yanking the girl away, thwarting the haymaker that just brushed Shampoo’s hair.
A fluff of purple hair filled the air as Shampoo could feel the power behind that attack down to her toes. That fury was still there and the promise to harm the Amazon was still on the table of being fulfilled.
“Stop getting in my way dumbass!” Ranma yelled, kicking off the ground and tumbling over Ryoga’s outstretched arm to slam both feet into his face. She tumbled backwards, alighting on her feet and slamming a one-two into Ryoga’s exposed side.
“That tickles!” Ryoga snapped, warding Ranma off with another backhand. He was once again between the redhead and Shampoo. “Try hitting me for real.”
“I still don’t have the adjustment down to bring out 100% of my power.” Ranma thought with a bitter look on her face. “If I could reach that, I could send this jackass flying!” Problem was, that’d take time and time she didn’t have. If she kept going she was bound to run out of energy and slow down, which would mean her death.
“Come on come on!” Ryoga taunted. “Don’t you want at her?”
“Ignore the bait and break him down. Where to hit and how hard.” Ranma silently categorized her opponent, trying to determine how much more punishment he could take. “At least if he fails Shampoo will be at a severe disadvantage.” Plan set, she was ready to rumble.
Shampoo bent backwards over the thrust, but this proved foolish as Akane snapped the shinai down right between the Amazon’s breasts with a stinging retort.
“Ow!” Shampoo squealed. “You stupid pig!”
“You aren’t good enough at Japanese to talk shit are you?” Akane was breathing slightly heavier than normal, her eyes almost glowing.
“Shut up.” Shampoo snapped, swiping at her with the dao.
But Akane had seen it coming the literal instant Shampoo’s muscles so much as twitched to begin the swing. With that much advanced warning, dodging it was easy. The counterattack to the wrist was even easier.
“Wrist!” Akane said, just before her shinai caught the Amazon on the wrist with a sharp smack.
“Ahh?” Shampoo silently reacted, her right hand going numb from the power of the strike. She kept the sword in her left and thrusted it at Akane.
Again though, Akane’s focus had alerted her to the attack what seemed like a minute before hand. She dodged towards Shampoo’s right to avoid the thrust and swung a horizontal slash into Shampoo’s chest.
“Torso!” She crowed as it slammed home just above the breasts,
“Agh!” The Amazon squealed in pain as her lungs burned from the sudden forceful ejection of breath. “How?”
“I can see through you.” Akane said simply. “Come at me if you think you can win.”
Come at her Shampoo did, flowing into a series of one handed thrusts and swipes that should have been too hard to follow. If Akane were bluffing that is, but to the Amazon’s growing ire, she was being read so thoroughly. Nothing came close, nothing but maybe... there! She thrusted out a right cross with her thought to be injured hand, hoping to surprise this stupid obstacle.
“Head!” Akane called as her shinai banged down on Shampoo’s head. She had gotten behind the Amazon by using the girl’s own attacks to hide her movements.
“Gah!” Shampoo screamed, that one hurt!
“Huh?” Ryoga turned, having thought Shampoo could handle the other girl.
This was all Ranma needed to slam home a thunderous left to the jaw. As Ryoga tried to counter, Ranma slipped down and slammed a three piece combo right to her opponent’s exposed stomach. An attempted front kick to ward her off only gave the redhead a platform to spring up and once more slam both feet into Ryoga’s face.
“Warm your way up to it.” Ranma thought as she tumbled away from the seemingly unharmed Hibiki. “Don’t try to rush a hundred, just make your way up until he feels it. And then make him feel it some more.”
“Are you even trying?” Ryoga asked, laughing a little. He was a little concerned about Shampoo though. Still, Ranma was right there and he had to contend with his old rival for now.
“Just getting started.” Ranma promised and even though Ryoga didn’t blink he still missed her step in.
“He’s so much faster now!” Ryoga fully realized as now a four hit combo slammed into his stomach. He thrusted his left out at her to bait the counter, and countered with speedy right hook.
It was anticipated and Ranma only half stepped in, letting the deadly hook fall short before sending his own right into Ryoga’s face. A left managed to follow in and land before Ryoga could uncross himself to again send Ranma away with a fearsome swipe.
Mousse, who had been watching everything, could only stare in slack jawed amazement. Who the hell were these strange people and why were they so strong? Just what kind of Outsider place was this? Some kind of monster breeding ground?!
“Where did they get this kind of power?” Mousse wondered, before jealousy gripped him. “And why don’t I have it?!” His fist found the dirt again as bitter tears filled his eyes.
Back over with Akane and Shampoo, they were locked in a deadly dance, the former skating on the razor’s edge as she flirted with disaster in the form of a lethally sharp blade that would carve her up like a cheap slab of meat. Though to the latter, no matter how close it looked, the swings never felt farther than they had before now. It was impossible for someone to get this much of a read on a total stranger and yet-
“Head! Torso! Wrist!” Akane was literally calling her shots and Shampoo could do nothing to evade the stinging slaps. Each one rattled her bones and sapped dry her stamina, little by little it was proving that stick was better than her sword.
“How? How is you do this?” Shampoo was almost going nuts trying to figure it out. “Tell Shampoo!”
“Sorry, there’s no more freebies.” Akane said simply, already reading ahead so much that she had evaded the third move Shampoo was going to throw before the first even began to come out.
“TELL SHAMPOO!” The Amazon’s composure just as she let fly the useless throwing knife that went off into the night.
“Head!” Akane roared back, smacking her over the head with the shinai.
“This is impossible!” Shampoo thought, her teeth chattering from the hit.
Ryoga again turned to look at the fight behind him, having heard Shampoo’s cry. “Time to switch partners then.” He slumped his guard, inviting Ranma to try something.
In this moment, Ranma had forgotten Akane and even Shampoo, and all she saw was Ryoga mocking her. With that rage inducing sight before her, she rushed forward and slammed a flying kick that sent Ryoga skidding back.
Also at this moment, all Akane could see was Shampoo. Nothing else even existed but her and Shampoo. She was so focused and centered on Shampoo she forgot to filter in Ryoga. She was new to this technique and hadn’t been shown the downside of it and as such she used it without a single bit of care. She rushed Shampoo again, determined that she had worn down Shampoo enough to end it.
It was a pity, had she remembered Ryoga, had she been able to see him at all, what happened next would have been avoided. Instead she hopped face first into Ryoga’s outstretched fist after the boy spun himself right into her path. Her head snapped back and her legs flew out from under her as she tumbled to the ground not even trying to catch herself.
“Why don’t you just take a nap, eh girlie?” Ryoga said, not even following through.
From Ranma’s vantage point, it unfolded in a matter of microseconds, as the joy of a strong hit gave way to the realization of a ploy to the horror of seeing Akane run right into Ryoga’s fist. She wasn’t placid for long, as she managed to catch Akane just before she could hit the pavement.
“AKANE!” Ranma screamed as she cradled the unconscious girl. “Akane! Speak to me, oi!”
She was breathing but completely out cold. There was a slight twitching as the youngest Tendo’s body tried to complete its last command. She didn’t even realize she had been knocked out!
This was too much, it was all too fucking much man. All this because of food, because of stupid pride?! What the fuck man, what the fuck?
“Hibiki… I’m gonna fucking kill you.” Ranma swore as she put Akane down gently. “But only after you watch me tear that bitch’s lungs from her chest.” An aura of sheer rage enveloped her, even if she knew such threats were idle. Two against one? That would be fair odds if she were a guy at the moment.
“Bluff all you want.” Ryoga said, before shrugging his head. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry it went this way. I really did want to be friends.” There was a sense of fatalism there, knowing that Shampoo was going to make good on her vow.
Shampoo was still stunned by Ryoga’s sudden appearance but she was recovering, both from the hits and from the shock. She had enough in the tank and with her invincible shield of a husband, this fight was as good as theirs.
“Is checkmate yes?” She asked, smiling for Ryoga.
“About to be.” Ryoga was ready to charge in now, no more just getting in the way.
“Shit…” Ranma cursed, even as she prepared to make her last stand. “Shit…”
“Hey, you two,” Katie called out then.
Ryoga and Shampoo both turned and found Katie and Misao standing right whereabouts the latter last saw them. Katie was now wearing a three-piece black suit and tie and a pair of slightly tinted glasses. Misao’s attire was entirely different, wearing a raincoat that was much bigger than her, the hood pulled over her head.
“Your chance at victory just left,” she continued before her tone dovetailed into a lament. “I’m sure you two had big plans but they were over the moment she attacked our home.”
Her breath blew out in a sigh. “But hey, big fella, you can just sit this out and you can walk away. But if you insist on standing with her, you’re going to accept the bill.”
There was a violent chill in the air, as the words were said with absolute certainty. There was no bluffing, no joshing, just straight talk. Plain as day how it was, thank you very much it was that frank.
“You’re talking big lady, but if you want to beat the both of us, you’re gonna need a miracle.” Ryoga replied, trying to push through the feeling of dread in his stomach.
“And one has arrived.” Misao’s cool voice belied her rage as a crackling sound overtook it. Blue lights appeared under the raincoat, .which then began to burn away until it revealed that Misao was wearing gray and light blue armor, similar in form and shape to a mecha, except the helmet appeared to be an armored flight suit helmet. An 02 was embossed on the shoulder, and upon its back was a backpack with four wings that rose up and out, and a fifth fin rising up behind her head, giving it a much more menacing feel. On her shoulders and thighs were large scissor blades bearing similar fins to the ones upon her back, with smaller versions on her forearms and hips.
“What the hell is that?” Ryoga asked.
Of all the people Shampoo expected to come get in her way… she certainly did not expect the fat girl to come back acting tough in a suit of armor. She had certainly expected the giant girl who could fight, but she didn’t seem interested in this fight at all. In fact, she seemed much more concerned about the weird kendo girl that her airen had just left a wreck all over the floor.
The fact that she had the nerve to show up in such a ridiculous armor, looking like a cosplayer from a robot video game, just insulted Shampoo more than anything. Who did this fat dumb girl think she was? Didn’t she get the hint when she destroyed her house?
“What did Shampoo tell you, Fat Girl? This is not your business,” she warned her as she readied the dao.
“Bitch,” Misao said, “This is my business now, and I don’t want anyone in my way until it is resolved. Like the bae said, it was the moment you came into my house.”
The fins began to crackle with power, bolts of electricity arcing between the and across the armor. Then, to Shampoo’s surprise and Ryoga’s immense dread, she lifted up onto her toes, and then completely off her feet as if propelled by magic..
“As for what this is?” She said to Ryoga as she saw the dread in his eyes. “This is that bitch called payback.”
With that, the helmet’s armored visor fell over her eyes and the face guard slid in place, creating the expressionless face of a mechanical soldier, whose eyes flashed a brilliant green–then red.
|Battle Against a True Woman|
Readying her dao, Shampoo let out something of a caustic laugh. She was really going to do this! Complete with some silly special effects and anime bullshit that would probably sell a bunch of model kits! No, Shampoo had no taste for a can of over-ripened pork, but she was going to bust it open all over the street anyway.
Katie joined Ranma’s side, kneeling over Akane. She was still twitching involuntarily, her body and brain still trying to restore its connection after the knockout blow. Gently resting her fingers on her neck, she checked around and sighed in relief when she found no sign of her neck being broken. “Oh thank God, she’s just knocked out.”
She looked to Ranma, who was looking back and forth between the bad battle couple and the armored Misao. “You okay?”
“I’m not fine,” she snapped back. “This is out of control!”
Katie looked towards their wrecked apartment. She could now see the large hole in the side of the building Shampoo made on her way out. She then looked at the street, cracked and cratered by the clashes between the involved parties. Bitterly, she nodded in agreement and rose to her feet.
“Shampoo was the one to choose how to escalate this, dude, not you. She could’ve handled this in a whole lot of different ways, but instead she went with the one hand-crafted to piss everyone off and burn almost every bridge she has.” She gave Ranma a small smile. “So don’t blame yourself for any of this. Just sit back and watch Misao take this bitch apart like a Mr. Potato Head.”
Ranma turned back towards the showdown, more specifically at Misao still hovering there, her arms coming folded across her armored chest plate as her wings spread out. It was a pose that Katie recognized… the contempt… the arrogance… the certainty in her power… the murderous intent worthy only of a God of Death. She was that confident that she was going to show off for them?
Shampoo took the sudden pose as a challenge. “No more warning for Fat Dumb Girl then,” she said as she began walking towards Misao, and then broke into a sprint towards her, taking the dao in both hands for maximum power with her swing.
Behind her, Ryoga realized that Shampoo was going straight for her, and reacted with dismay. “Shampoo! Wait!”
She didn’t, instead accelerating to a blur as she reached Misao, steel flashing as she swung the dao to bisect the anime trash clean in half.
“That armor is cool and all, but can she take Shampoo down?” Ranma asked. “Misao’s like a flirty cuddly bear, she can’t be that-”
The blade sliced majestically through air and lingering bolts of lightning, to Shampoo’s wide-eyed surprise.
Ranma’s mouth fell open, and her eyes darted up when she saw Misao was much higher in the air now, and the scissors on her shoulder were sparking and crackling as their jaws opened, revealing the jagged edges of chainsaw teeth that quickly began to rev up.
The sound caught Shampoo’s attention, and she looked up in time to see Misao spin one way, launching the scissor on her right shoulder, then spin the other way, launching the other scissor–both of which tumbled mechanically through the air as their electrical thrusters oriented them to aim at Shampoo, before they accelerated at her like missiles.
“What the…?!” Shampoo quickly ducked over the first Flying Scissor, the blade passing low under her. The second came from a higher angle, and she dove forward from barely landing on the ground.
When the second scissor hit the ground, there was the sound, like an asphalt grinder going on overdrive, and Shampoo looked back to see the second scissor eating through the street at high speed, before it simply pulled up and out of the ground, stopped, flipped over along with its brother, and then shot right back at her.
There was a single thought in Shampoo’s head at that very moment.
Run.
Shampoo dove out of the way of one of the scissors, and then leaped straight from her tumble to avoid the second. The second one barreled on towards a building, but rather than hit it stopped for all of a half second to reorient itself and go straight up. It changed direction with the same jarring quickness and came down at Shampoo as she scanned the sky for it and the other one.
Turning at the last second she swung the dao to cut the scissor in half, but it simply clamped down on the sword and with a shearing of metal bisected it while barely missing her.
“Xian Pu!” Ryoga yelled as he tackled her clear of the second scissor, which had closed in on her while she gaped at her destroyed dao for that brief instant.
The second scissor pulled out of its dive and ascended as the couple both tumbled across the ground.
As they came to a stop, Shampoo looked up at her husband in relief. “Airen!”
Her relief turned into fright, before she turned over, throwing herself and Ryoga out the path of Misao’s thunderous diving punch that smashed the street and kicked up a cloud of dust.
“What that thing?” Shampoo hollered, the din of the impact still rumbling.
“I don’t know, some kind of military mecha? Whatever it is, keep aw-” Ryoga started, before he was cut off by Misao suddenly coming out of the dust cloud like a very angry Terminator with a jet pack, aiming straight for Shampoo. “Shit, Xian Pu!”
“Hiya!” Shampoo screamed as she narrowly avoided the artless punch. There was zero martial arts behind it but thanks to technology it had power unmatched by any human. The air rippled violently and the Amazon still found herself tumbling away just from the air pressure wave that happened just from the miss. “Aiya!”
“If something like that lands,” Ryoga thought, realizing he couldn’t expect to body block more than one or two of those before he was down. Then there were the scissors, which came the way Misao went, homing in on Shampoo again. “Xian Pu, look out!”
“Be quiet!” Misao snapped, backhanding a wave of air pressure that knocked Ryoga back several feet. “If you’re going to scream anything, it should be goodbye!”
“Think Hibiki think! Now is not the time for fancy.” Ryoga needed an idea of how to fight this thing and fast. He wasn’t capable of Ranma’s battle innovation, but he was a strong motherfucker who hit like a ton of bricks. But was that ton enough?
He didn’t have time to worry about it as Misao was after her quarry again, moving faster than Ryoga could believe possible as the mech suit closed in on Shampoo yet again.
“Shit!” He cursed aloud, charging after the monster trying to make him a widower.
It was gonna be a close thing, as he ran as hard as he could. He once again cursed his lack of speed but he could make it, he could! He did make it but the shoulder check failed to budge Misao at all and only bounced him off.
“Ah?!” It was way stronger than him?!
Misao didn’t give him the relief of a pithy rejoinder as she slapped the air into him and sent him tumbling away. Distraction gone, she turned her sights on Shampoo again, ready for brasstacks.
“I may have bitten off more than I can chew.” This was the thought looping through Shampoo’s brain. This was even worse than Red and it really looked bad for her. But she was an Amazon, a Champion, a hero for all women!
So she dug in her heels to fight, knowing that the girl inside the beast wasn’t a fighter. Use that to your advantage and tear it apart. It was a simple thought, one that didn’t match the insurmountable wall before her.
Misao’s punch was read but not even the power of a counter could dent the armor. Meanwhile, the grass behind Shampoo was ripped up and scattered just from the puff of air pressure passing over it. Shampoo hit the armor again but nothing happened.
Was it invincible? No, that was impossible. Just sheer lu-
“Come on bitch, put your back into it!” Misao snapped, stomping a foot and shattering the ground beneath the girl’s feet.
“What do I do?” Shampoo thought as she scrambled away from the collapsing ground. “What can I do?”
Even as she wondered this, those damnable scissors returned, joining Misao’s flanks and snapping their jaws at Shampoo like starving dogs looking for a bite. After their intimidating display, they propelled themselves forward to take those bites.
“Shit, shit, shit!” Shampoo screamed, ducking and darting away from the snapping jaws, but it was a close thing each time.
It could be said that a full body punch from Ryoga Hibiki was nothing to laugh at. Indeed, on most human opponents, such a thing would result in grievous injuries. But what he faced wasn’t a human opponent but something created to dominate things beyond human.
Misao didn’t even feel the impact, the armor absorbed it quite readily. Still, a bug getting on you needed to be swatted at to remind them who was the greater being. Without staying her scissors, she turned ever so slightly and flicked a finger at the boy.
The tuft of air pressure hit Ryoga in the face like a kick from Ranma, sending him to his ass and dazing him for a moment.
Satisfied he was down for the moment, Misao turned back to watch and observe the cornered Amazon.
“How do I win? How do I win?” Shampoo hadn’t given up, for she still had her mind. The cunning that marked her the greatest of her generation and made her so very deadly. Indeed, she could think and formulate a plan for anything, even something short of a god.
But time was a precious resource she was being denied as her desperate dodging continued to rob her of the space to breath and allow a plan to live. She still had throwing knives but if the dao got obliterated by those demonic things, then her knives were worthless. What else could she bring to bear? Her melon hammer? She had discarded it already after losing its paired mate.
Forward she pitched herself over a particularly close snap of the scissors, one that surely would have shorn her in twain. What was she supposed to do against this anime bullshit?! Still, despite her frustration, she rolled to her feet and sprinted away once more.
Misao retracted her lovely little pups, satisfied with watching Shampoo squirm. With her cute little pets hovering obediently at her side, she took aim and flicked a finger at Shampoo much like she had Ryoga. The tuft of air pressure hit down at the Amazon’s feet, sending her into the air.
If she were interested in ending it, she could easily send her scissors up and tear the helpless girl apart. But Shampoo had humiliated her and the favor would be returned in kind. She’d make the bitch piss herself in frustrated terror, her helplessness all too much of a forgone conclusion.
Then and only then would she deign it necessary to wipe the cunt out.
When you get down to it, the reason Misao loved video games, more than their capacity for fun and making money, was that it allowed her to make other people happy. She was probably the nicest person you could meet, honest and gentle to a fault. She tried to keep the peace and do her best to keep a smile on her face. If she could help other people be happy by telling dirty jokes and running around without a top, then she’d do it.
But that had been taken from her, that connection to people who needed her had been severed by this stupid bitch. The money, their happiness, her happiness from being able to do something for people. It was all gone for now and it was going to be hard to get back to where she was before thanks to this shitpile that thought that everyone would roll over for her.
However, at the very core of it all, the key part to Misao’s rage is that the danger to Ranma’s life wasn’t something held at bay by her castle’s wall. The enemy had invaded her sanctum and came for this sweet boy who while making mistakes was honestly, earnestly living to make up for them. The thought that she could really lose him had spurred her forward to this end.
“No more worries Ranma,” she thought, as she rocketed towards where the Amazon was trying to recoup after being sent flying. “Misao’s gonna make it all better again.”
Shampoo lolled her head over just in time to see that armored demon approaching again. Her reaction time was slowed but still enough to evade the punch that slammed into the Earth and sent dirt and Amazon both into the air. As she tumbled into the air again, she realized she was being toyed with.
By this useless lump of meat. Well, she certainly was of use now wasn’t she? What could she do, what would work?
“Xian Pu!” Ryoga called as he managed to run under her and catch her from her fall. It was almost obvious to him they couldn’t win like this but how could they flee? Where could they flee? All they had were questions when they needed answers. Still, they had to find some small purchase of time to plan and come up with some way of attack.
“Airen...” Shampoo murmured, feeling safe for the moment.
“I’m sure you were wondering,” Katie said to Ranma as they watched well away from the hazard zone Misao had created. “Why, beyond anger, I’m not the one in the suit.”
“It had crossed my mind.” Ranma admitted.
“It’s kind of how Misao is.” Katie said, sighing a little. “You really don’t try to get her pissed because the more pissed she gets the more she feels she needs to do to calm down. She’s nice and can laugh off a lot of things but once you’ve stepped over the line, she goes off.”
She paused, thinking of a way to describe it.
“You know how the Golden Pair got wiped out? Well, during a Christmas Party at this pretty swanky place, that was my first job with her, we crossed paths with them.”
Ranma nodded. “What happened?”
“Well, the guy of the duo, Mikado Sanzenin, had this thing where he had to kiss every pretty girl he met, and the elusive Misao was his Christmas Gift to himself. He eventually got that kiss though, but he did it while she was on camera and chatting with her subs, and it caused this huge shitstorm in seconds.”
Ranma cringed. “That dick!”
“Yeah, ended up giving him a good slap across the face, and some unkind words were said, with him deciding that ‘Kissing such a fat girl’ was a mistake.” Katie shook her head. “He said that on camera, too… and that just made the people raging at her even worse.”
Kissed her without her permission, got her subscribers in a tizzy, and then called her fat. “What did she do?”
Katie huffed. “She called me over, and told me to beat the shit out of his skating partner. Just destroy her so she couldn’t skate again. She her own issues that crossed a line with me already that night, I did so with gusto.”
She then let out a dark laugh. “I snapped all her ribs, crushed her legs, and nearly broke her back right over my knee before I tossed her into a swimming pool from 20 stories up.” All at Misao’s instruction, and it was at that moment that she realized that she was in love with the palmtop tiger.
Ranma gaped at her. “You did what?”
Katie shrugged her shoulders. “It’s not like she didn’t make a fight of it. Like I said, the little gremlin had her own issues that crossed a few lines. She was a klepto with a penchant for using her cuteness to get away with stealing people’s stuff. Factor that in and I was already burning mad at her.”
Ranma looked at her for a long second. “That doesn’t fit though.”
“Oh I was a lot more anti-social when I first got here so I was a lot less restrained in expressing my anger.” Katie looked back towards the fight. “Misao doesn’t have any restraint at all. Not when she’s been slighted. You take something from her, you break something, you threaten her or the people she loves… and she will end you.”
Ranma shuddered. “It’s almost like the Joketsuzoku…”
Katie gave him a sidelong look and smirked . “Then, can you imagine anything more poetic? Shampoo’s picked a fight with her own dark reflection, and it aims to kill her.”
|Watch the Queen Conquer|
With a clack, Misao’s armored boots touched down onto the ground, a few errant arcs of electricity rising to meet her before they connected. With a final backflip, the two scissors returned to their hardpoints. In front of her, Ryoga set Shampoo back down and stared intensely at the armored fiend, before he looked past her at the damage caused all over the street, and even further beyond where Ranma and Katie watched.
He focused back on her, when her visor came up, revealing the upper half of her face and her cold stone-gray eyes.
“What was that you said?” She asked Shampoo. “That slaughtering me would be a warm-up?”
Her eyes rolled to her left, then right, as if she were trying to recall those words exactly. They then fell back on Shampoo, as a single bolt of electricity jumped the gap between her visor and her facemask. “Tell me, are you feeling the heat yet?”
The annoyed tone in her voice told the battle couple that they were boring her. That they couldn’t put up a sufficient enough fight against this monster she had brought to the battlefield. It was absurd for her to get annoyed when her very misses sent them tumbling away.
Or that’s how Ryoga saw it anyways. “If you’re that bored, why don’t you go away then?”
“Is she going to leave RicePony alone and apologize for all the shit she’s destroyed?” Misao asked in that same deadened tone.
It was an idea but there was no way to even bluff it. Before he could stop her, Shampoo was already shouting her answer.
“Shampoo never stop until Red dead!” It was admirable in some respects but sticking to your guns when outmuscled and outgunned was just damn moronic.
“And that’s why I’m still here.” Misao said, before looking at Ryoga. “Sure you got the guts to watch me rip hers out?”
Ryoga gritted his teeth. “Just what do you want out of this fight?”
“Your little slut trashed my home, insulted me to my face and is a constant threat against someone I care a great deal for.” Misao replied. “If you were in my shoes, would you stop fighting because you got bored?”
She had him there, but he had to try. “Then you can understand why I can’t sit by and watch you try to hurt her.”
“Oh silly boy, I’m not trying to hurt her.” Misao said to reassure him. “I’m going to hurt her. And you if you keep this up.”
It was no use, words couldn’t reach her. If that was the case... “Xian Pu, we can’t fight separately like we have been. We have to coordinate our attacks, all right?” He sounded so brave and sure, but it could easily be bravado.
But Shampoo wanted to believe in him, this young man she gave her heart to. Even now as her confidence dwindled, he was still there with her. To the end, whatever it may be. What had she done to deserve such a wonderful man? It troubled her she couldn’t answer that right away.
“Yes!” Shampoo went the easy route and said what made it easiest to reply with. “Shampoo fight with Airen to victory!”
“You will, but it won’t be yours,” Misao said right before her visor snapped back into place.
Ryoga looked ahead, and quickly got ready. “Here she co-!”
Misao thrust her right arm out, and the scissors on her forearm ignited and accelerated off her arm, a long waving cable trailing behind it as it accelerated to a speed well in excess of Ryoga’s own fastest strikes. Before Ryoga could react, the scissors opened wide, like a shackle that slammed into and locked around his neck.
Shampoo, alarmed, quickly drew a knife to cut it, but in that same instant Ryoga accelerated forward, recalled towards Misao. “Airen!”
When Ryoga reached Misao, the shackle let go and he was left stumbling forward, gagging from the impact to his neck, right into a high kick that connected with Ryoga’s chin and launched him straight into the air, condensation rings trailing behind his body.
“Hey, Shampoo… remember when you broke my stuff, threatened me, mocked me while I was helpless to do anything, and tried to kill someone I cared about?” Misao asked calmly. “Watch this.”
And then Misao was the rocket, accelerating straight towards the dazed Ryoga as he reached the apex of his punt-induced flight.
“She… she hit me… so hard…!” Ryoga thought as his head swam in the pain. His eyes then widened when he saw her coming at him, the eyes of her visor gleaming a terrifying red.
She shot straight up past him, before turning and firing her left arm’s shackle down at him, catching him by the leg with it. Winching him up, she let him go and punched him with a haymaker right, firing him back towards the ground.
As he descended, she held out her arms, and the scissors on her shoulders and her thighs lit up before flying off the rails. Instead of assuming their normal pattern of flight, they began to spin at high speed, until they became discus that swirled around her.
“Releasing the Hounds!” She called out, and the four weapons took off down while she went up and away.
Ryoga was a durable dude, he’d tanked plenty hard hits, but that was a level on par with an angry Ranma. Before he could think of recovering and reorienting himself to land, he was clocked hard across the face by a powerful force. Then another one hit him, clipping his right side. A third hit, launching him up and into another that launched him laterally.
On the ground, Shampoo could only watch as the Hounds, as Misao called them, converged upon her husband as their namesake implied, and began battering him left and right, up and down through the sky, keeping him well above the rooftops, and out of range of any meaningful rescue attempt.
Then the shackle came down, catching Ryoga around the right arm and yanking him through the air horizontally. As Misao swung him around, each of the four Hounds struck him on the flypast, before she plowed him through a billboard and then beyond that into the side of a water tower, shattering it.
In the building beyond that there was a tremendous thud, and the sound of crumbling brick. Deeply embedded in the side of the building wall, but not completely through it, was the majestic wolf that was Ryoga’s cursed form, unconscious and twitching.
Misao stared at the fallen wolf, as the shackle returned to its place, and the Hounds reattached to her armor.
She then turned and looked down at Shampoo, the visor coming up again so she could see her with her own eyes. “I wanted to do more, but after a while you’re just smacking around a slab of useless meat, and I’ve already had my warm-up.”
It was impossible, everything since this monster appeared just couldn’t be real. It had to be a nightmare, a nightmare! Shampoo fought down her terror and focused on the faint fan of flames that was her remaining rage. She needed to avenge her husband, this was no longer about Red anymore.
“About time fat pig.” It wasn’t a smart thing to say and at this point, she should just be surrendering. But she held onto her pride like a certain prince might.
A sound left Misao’s throat, a soft, easy-sounding laugh. She then descended from on high, landing in front of Shampoo, but not too close.
“I’m sorry leaving your husband a beaten mess took so long, but now that we don’t have distractions I can get to the…” She stopped herself from making another meat pun. “… Point.”
She stared at Shampoo. “You can’t hurt me. You can’t touch me. When you attack me, all you’ll do is flail uselessly until I slap you down.”
One by one, the Hounds detached and appeared to float up into the air above her, like balloons.
“But until I finally get around to that slap, you’re going to try. You’re going to fight me with all of your might, and you’re going to lose. Then when you’re done, you’re done.” She held out her arms as the visor shut again. “Now come at me, with everything you’ve got. I won’t even defend myself. I won’t need to.”
Shampoo turned her senses inward, closing her eyes and gathering everything she had. All she had to do was pummel that armor until that fat pig came spilling out and then kill her. She had enough left for that, there was still that last glimmer of victory. Time for revenge then…
“Haaauuuu…” Her breathing slowed as her body began to hold in this last rush of destructive power. It had to end with this, it had to! Her eyes opened and she was ready.
“I’m waaaaiting~” Misao taunted.
She didn’t have to wait much longer as Shampoo’s first punch, a right cross, landed. The bang was rather loud but the suit didn’t budge even a micro-fraction of an inch. A left followed but it did nothing as well. She came with a beautiful spinning right roundhouse kick that yet again did nothing. Three left middle kicks banged on in but all they did was make noise.
There was no time to worry, just swing and swing and swing. Don’t think this one attack would settle it, wear it down for the next one and the next one after that. She began to apply the principles of all the varying kempo collected under the Amazonian tree of martial arts. Snake strikes, crane strikes, tiger smashing paws and more. Her attacks still did nothing more than make noise.
It wasn’t enough but she had to press on. For her Airen who fought so bravely beside her, for her people back home. She was of the pinnacle, of the Elite! She would not fall here, she would win! For her future!
Lightning fast kicks began to batter Misao next, who took it all without care. The attacks were fierce but her armor was more than capable of withstanding it. Shampoo switched legs once, twice, three times before she switched back to punches. There was still gas left, still hope left.
Always hope, always…
A tear fell down her cheek, mixing with her pouring sweat as reality cruelly set in. She was deluding herself and doing exactly as the fat pig wanted. Just a puppet on a string but she had her pride damn it!
From the depths of her belly came a berserker yell as she redoubled her efforts, pounding away even as her fists ached and her shoulders burned from the exertion. Just a little more, just one hit more… one lucky hit…
Her arms dropped dead from exhaustion. Had she ran out of gas already? Were the embers of fight that weak? Where was her pride, her skills? Where was anything that could bring this bitch down?
Shampoo threw a truly pathetic kick that didn’t even make a sound after it connected. There was nothing left it seemed. Nothing, but failure and defeat again. Some champion she was.
“All done? That was shorter than I expected.” Misao taunted, before she just so casually bopped Shampoo across the chin with a dainty backhand left.
It was more than enough as Shampoo collapsed to the ground, still conscious but helpless. The bitch wasn’t even going to give her the satisfaction of a worthy defeat. Bitter tears poured down her face as she realized just how miserably she failed.
“Welp, time to get to work.” Misao said, reaching down and taking a handful of that purple hair and hauled her up by it. “You asked for this, just remember.” She marched Shampoo over to the nearest building and leaned her against it.
“Just end Shampoo.” The Amazon wasn’t pleading, she was still prideful enough to be put out of her misery.
“Tempting but no.” Misao said, summoning one of the Hounds close. “Your hair is such a mess darling, let me clean it up for you.” She held up the hair for the Hound to greedily bite through, shortening Shampoo’s hair even shorter than Nabiki’s bowl ‘do.
Holding out her hand, Misao placed it on her now shortened hair. A gentle electric hum sounded and the not so gentle smell of burnt hair filled the air as she rubbed her metallic hand back and forth over Shampoo’s head, cutting down what is left until there is nothing but a violet fuzz atop her head barely a half inch in length.
“Much better darling.” Misao purred, the facemask parting so Shampoo can see the wicked grin on the face of the woman who beat her. “But this isn’t enough.”
Two more Hounds then slammed into the wall, trapping her outstretched arms between their jaws. Shampoo didn’t even react, she let herself hang limply in their embrace, her gaze lowered to Misao’s feet. She knew what was coming: those teeth would rev up, and there would go her arms and the only hope she’d ever have of being a warrior.
It didn’t quite happen like that. Instead there was the crunch and searing agony of the Hounds’ jaws crushing Shampoo’s arms just below the shoulder. The other two Hounds went in for her elbows, grabbing them and crushing them with tremendous PSI but no teeth. Then they twisted, breaking her bones further before they released her and let her fall to her knees.
A lesser woman would’ve gone insane or fainted from the agony. Shampoo silently endured it, with tears running down her face.
“You’re no warrior,” Misao then said. “For all your fancy martial arts you get destroyed by a fat girl in power armor that did all the fighting for her. How many of your proud warriors can claim that? How many of your village would like to find that out?”
Shampoo stared down at the ground, now trying to avoid even looking at Misao’s feet. “Shampoo… never tell. Shampoo… die first.”
Misao let out a light laugh. “Well, it’s a good thing I filmed it then.”
Shampoo’s breathing got caught in her lungs. It wasn’t, no, not that… Her face lost color and she recoiled, finally bringing her head up to look at this demon who destroyed her in abject horror.
“So here’s my advice on how to make sure no one important to your little traditions see it: Take your big wolf stud home, have yourself a litter of puppies, and forget about fighting ever again. Because if you were beaten by me, then you’ve been doing it wrong all your life.” Misao said in a matter of fact tone. “You’re no warrior, you’re just some dude’s Chinese bride.”
That tone then darkened. “And that’s more than you deserve.”
The atmosphere brightened again as she clapped her hands. “Okay, that was fun and all but let’s never do it again. I’m very much a lover and not a fighter.”
She turned and with a quick boost alighted herself into the air to coast slowly over towards Katie and Ranma. Setting down, she looked back and forth between both of them, looking weary for a girl who’d gotten her well deserved revenge.
“I’d say let’s go home,” she said, “But… you know how that is.”
Katie nodded, before she stepped forward and embraced Misao tightly. “We can go to your Auntie’s place, or get a hotel…”
“I don’t know where I want to go,” Misao said. “I want to go back to my not destroyed apartment and my not destroyed stuff and just veg out and play video games…”
Ranma hugged her as well, catching her bit by surprise. “Ah?”
“Yeah… I know,” Ranma said.
Misao sighed, and hugged both of them tightly back. “I’ll call my Mom. She’ll hook us up.”
“Sounds good,” Ranma replied.
Katie kissed Misao on the cheek. “I love you, bae.”
Misao returned the smile and pulled Katie down for a much more intimate kiss on the lips, right before Ranma’s stunned eyes. After Katie returned it for a moment, they pulled away, and Misao stepped back, a small giggle coming from her lips.
They both looked over at Ranma, and before either could say anything. “We should get Akane and that Mousse guy to uh… Dr. Tofu’s! Yes!”
He turned to find that Mousse had already gathered up Akane, who now had a bandage around her head and looked at least consciousness.
“Akane! Are you okay?” Ranma asked, coming over to her.
“As much as anyone who gets knocked out like I did.” Akane said, looking contrite. “I was so focused on Shampoo I never saw Ryoga, not even when it was too late. Mu-san was kind enough to tell me what happened.”
Mousse looked kind of chagrined at attention turned on him. “Well I needed to bandage her head but she was still trying to fight.”
“Well, either way you did a good thing.” Katie said, knowing exactly what Akane was talking about. “Don’t let it eat at you Akaneko, trying a new thing is always hard.”
“I had her, I was so exhilarated that I was winning I lost sight of everything and blam.” Akane said, fighting off tears. “I had her… I had her.”
“Peace girl, you won as far as I’m concerned.” Katie whispered. “Just let us get you to the doctor’s all right?”
“Yeah, okayl Senpai.” Akane said, still looking a little bitter.
“For what it’s worth, Akane, you were amazing.” Ranma said, giving her a small smile.
“Thank you Ranma.” Akane said, smiling despite the pain.
“It’s over.” Mousse mumbled looking over the devastation. “What a night this turned out to be.”
“Yeah,” Katie agreed, looking back towards Misao and giving her a smile. “But that’ll make sunrise all the better.”
“You said it,” Ranma said, looking out over the devastated landscape and finding it hard not to feel responsible.
|You are so beautiful... to me....|
Sometime later, Shampoo awoke in the room she shared with Ryoga in the Hibiki home. Her arms were in both casts and splints, the rest of her body aching from exhaustion and damage from the fight. Off to the side, she heard Shirokuro bark before the dog came over to lick her face.
“Aiya.” She could barely bring herself to voice the complaint.
“So you’re awake.” Ryoga said, from a chair in the opposite direction. He was being quiet out of respect for her injuries.
“A…” Shampoo started to use her familiar name for him but stopped short. Her hair was lost and she felt so very hideous after being ruined like that.
“Right, you’re not really a warrior anymore and your village marriages aren’t recognized here.” He said gravelly, before his tone brightened. “So I’ll just have to marry you by Japanese law then when you’re better. It’s not much but I still love you.”
“But Shampoo hair…” She felt so embarrassed and small because of it.
“You’re still beautiful to me, even if your hair never grows back.” He said, smiling in the face of her tears of joy. “So if you’ll have me, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Her cheeks burned, her eyes were wet and her heart thumped with the emotion. She managed a nod, relieved that he wasn’t going to abandon her.
“Come on Shirokuro, we need to get some food going so the other lady of the House can start to recover.” Ryoga said as he got up, nodding at her happy bark. “I’ll whip something up real fast and send Shirokuro back along with the food. Don’t wanna do too much more.
She watched him leave, a hollow pit in her stomach that contrasted the warmth of emotion in her heart. There was no redemption for her, she wasn’t going to raise herself up from this pit of despair and get revenge. It was over, she and her stupid pride had been defeated and humbled.
This was no happy ending for her, but for him. She couldn’t go back ever which meant their argument over where to live ended in his victory. She was no longer fit to be a warrior or walk on that path ever again.
Xian Pu the Amazon Champion was gone, soon to be replaced by Hibiki Xian Pu, just a Japanese boy’s Chinese bride.
That is something I really appreciate.
As I was reading the first scene, the thought struck me of "Oh god is he going to try to redeem this afterward somehow and have everyone forget the shit she's pulling?" like what happens in the vast majority of fanfics?
The ending of that fight scene was very satisfying as an actual climax and catharsis of the tension of Shampoo's arc.
As I was reading the first scene, the thought struck me of "Oh god is he going to try to redeem this afterward somehow and have everyone forget the shit she's pulling?" like what happens in the vast majority of fanfics?
The ending of that fight scene was very satisfying as an actual climax and catharsis of the tension of Shampoo's arc.
Shampoo wasn't going to get any redemption from the start. Hell, in the original plan, I intended for her to stay a mortal enemy of Ranma... with her deciding that since he beat her as a girl then she would kill him regardless of gender. But the absolute demolishing of Shampoo worked out so much better in the end.
It also leaves open a lot of potential dramatic tension, and rounds out both Ryouga and Shampoo's characters (Ryouga moreso in this case, because he's gonna be the one carrying the load here).
I like it, and not just for the vindictive/spiteful 'haha you talked shit and got hit!'. It's an unusual route that will develop Ryouga's character in how he handles pulling Shampoo out of her funk and into a new life. Ryouga can't even blame this on Ranma, he knows exactly who's at fault, but goddamn he's gonna be a man and take care of his wife.
I like it, and not just for the vindictive/spiteful 'haha you talked shit and got hit!'. It's an unusual route that will develop Ryouga's character in how he handles pulling Shampoo out of her funk and into a new life. Ryouga can't even blame this on Ranma, he knows exactly who's at fault, but goddamn he's gonna be a man and take care of his wife.
Disclaimer: The following is a fan-written parody. Ranma ½ is property of Rumiko Takahashi, Studio Deen, Shogakukan, Viz Media, and Madman Entertainment. Support the official release, okay?
Senpai
A Ranma ½ Story
Chapter 10/?
The Kingdom of Kodachi did not demand perfection, but it did strive for a standard that many would mistake for it. Such was the drive of a Rhythmic Gymnastic Martial Artist, and of a girl whose madness aligned with the desires of her subjects rather than intersected them like a bus with a pedestrian at 80 kilometers an hour. With this in consideration, Ranma, Akane, and Katie were in the office of the student council, facing a Kodachi who’d just finished practicing a floor routine in the middle of the large room.
“Tendo Nabiki-san has finished an assessment of the student body,” Kodachi said as she draped a cool, damp towel over her shoulders, “And while there is proficient growth in all areas, not everything is going well for everyone.”
“Someone’s lagging behind?” Ranma, who was standing to Akane’s left asked, finding this a bit surprising.
Nabiki nodded. “Quite a number of students, academically and in club activities. While there’s only so much the Student Council can do about teachers, the status of our clubs is something we can entirely intervene upon.”
Katie, who stood to the right of Akane, folded her arms. “Who, why, and what do we have to do?”
“To my relief it’s only two areas, and only one is an actual threat to our war potential,” Kodachi revealed. She then looked to Ranma. “The Boxing Club, Saotome-san. The Captain we chose for it is having difficulty acclimating to his role.”
She shook her head. “I should’ve expected that one of the Captains wouldn’t be exact leadership material despite their performance, but I didn’t expect it would be this dramatic.”
Ranma frowned. From what he himself saw of the boxing club, they seemed like a tight ship. Was there something he missed? “I’ll get right on investigating it, shouldn’t take too much work. If the Captain ain’t Captain material, I’ll find a new guy to replace him.”
Kodachi nodded. “I have no doubt that you will.” She then turned to Akane. “The second matter involves a non-combat club, and specifically one side of it.”
“What is it?” Akane asked.
“The Girls’ Swimming Club.”
Both Ranma and Katie noticed Akane go ramrod straight at the mention of swimming… and they were further surprised to see her begin to sweat a bit.
“Er…” Akane said. “I’ve um… been a bit behind on them, haven’t I?”
“You haven’t even chosen a Captain, Tendo Akane-san,” Kodachi pointed out.
Ranma turned to face Akane. “What? It’s been weeks.”
Katie’s hands came to rest on her hips. “Ne, Akaneko, do you not like swimming or something?”
Her tone seemed a bit rough as she asked this, like she sounded a bit offended.
Akane frowned. “Look, I’ll find someone to Captain the team, I’ve just been busy with the other clubs…”
“That is no excuse,” Kodachi called her out. “Time that you spend idling could be used elsewhere, and when the girls club is out wading in the pool, you’re finding distractions for yourself.”
Akane recoiled backwards. “H-have you been spying on me?!” She looked to Katie, accusingly. “S-Senpai!”
Katie raised an eyebrow, finding Akane’s defensiveness to be confusing. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. This is your problem.”
“Hey guys, lay off her,” Nabiki said from the doorway. “She just can’t swim.”
Akane flushed and whirled on Nabiki. “You…!”
Ranma correctly supposed that this was something of an embarrassment to Akane.
Katie stopped, and let out a bemused huff. “That’s it?”
“Sinks like a rock the moment you drop her into any body of water deeper than she’s tall,” Nabiki went on.
Kodachi was astounded. “So that is the cause of this deficiency. Well, then it’s a simple matter of teaching her to swim.”
Akane lowered her head. “It’s not that easy…”
“Nope,” Nabiki agreed.
“When I was younger, I never went swimming without my inner tube.”
“It was a gift from Mom,” Nabiki said.
“We didn’t go to the beach or the pool often,” Akane continued.
“Daddy was a bit stingy on family vacations unless he could turn them into training trips,” Nabiki piped in.
“And then there was that one camping trip we went on, where I was attacked by a Platypus…”
“It’s more terrifying than you think,” Nabiki added with a sage nod.
Ranma and Katie looked shared a skeptical look with one-another.
“The fact is,” Akane said, “I… just don’t really like the water.”
Katie clapped a hand on her shoulder, and smiled an uncharacteristically large one. “Well, that’s going to change, because I happen to love the water, and I love to swim.”
“Do you, now?” Nabiki asked, interested.
Katie nodded. “Yeah, in fact… I’m an unofficial world record holder for Constant Weight Without Fins Freediving. 300 meters.”
Nabiki paled a bit. “Wait, what?”
Katie folded her arms, looking rather proud of herself. “Yeah, it’s unofficial because I was like thirteen when I did it and no official body would recognize it.” She then scowled a bit. “In fact, when my Uncle Nick tried to have it recognized, Child Protective Services started paying my parents visits…”
During the third such visit her father had her show the nice CPS lady that she could field-strip, reassemble, and load a Type 81 in 30 seconds. They stopped coming by after that, impressed by such responsible and disciplined parents.
Akane was more impressed. “Wow, that far underwater?”
Katie beamed. “Yep! Any issue you have with water, I’ll put an end to it.”
Ranma found himself a bit skeptical, but he swam from Japan to China on his fateful training trip and back, so someone swimming that far underwater probably wasn’t such an unbelievable thing.
Kodachi nodded. “So it’s agreed, then? Saotome-san, deal with the Boxing Club. Izurando-san, I leave Tendo Akane-san’s swimming lessons in your care.”
Katie gave Kodachi a very American thumb’s up. “You can count on me.”
“The three of you are dismissed,” Kodachi then said “Tendo Nabiki-san, I wish to discuss the matter of a few acquisitions I’ve made.”
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. What kind of acquisitions?”
Maybe she was finally getting that Goku Uniform.
“I have taken in the young man who came to grace your company during that debacle with the Amazon, Mu Tsu. His skills and insight may prove fruitful in the future, given that the Amazon woman took us all by surprise.”
Huh, that was unexpected. “You think we might get visits from more of their kind?”
“Xian Pu was one of their village’s more prideful warriors as he’s told me, she’s made her fair share of enemies. Worse still the fact she lost so thoroughly may be casus belli for more of her ilk to resolve the matter of lost pride.”
Nabiki soured a tad. “That’s good to know. Anything less ominous?”
Kodachi chuckled. “When we raid Tomobiki High School, we may be coming back with more than merely victory. I have received signals that one of the staff is interested in a position at a better school. I need you to make good of your gossip skills to confirm this is true.”
“Ah, so Kodachi wants some good ol’ fashioned social engineering from yours truly?” Nabiki was down to ride. “Shoot, if what you’re offering faculty is better than what you’ve offered me, I’ll pull the whole faculty out from under their noses.”
“Ohoho…” Kodachi chuckled. “That will be unnecessary. I only want their absolute best, an irreplaceable asset to their school and morale.”
She steepled her fingers and stared pointedly at Nabiki with dark eyes filled with malice.
“Give me that, and I will grind Tomobiki even deeper into the dirt.”
From 11 am to 2pm, Furinkan’s gymnasium belonged to the boys combat clubs that didn’t wield weapons. Judo, Karate, Sumo, and of course Boxing. Of these four clubs, three were a hive of activity, with students clashing in the rings and on the mats, or running through the drills in unison, their kiai momentarily drowning out the din of self-improvement. The fourth however wasn’t gathered around the ring, which stood empty, but instead around a weight scale and the Chairman of the Boys Athletic Committee.
“Fifty-eight kilograms,” Ranma said as he stared at the scale stood upon. “Fifty-eight… that’s Featherweight.”
Kosaku, a moderately handsome young man wearing only a pair of boxing shorts for the sake of the weigh in, put on a weak, hopeless smile. “Technically Super Featherweight…”
Ranma folded his arms and looked at the young man, who aside from a bit of padding around his stomach and sides that would go unnoticed by the uninitiated appeared to be in good physical shape. “What class are you best in, Hatanaka?”
“Flyweight, hands down,” Kosaku replied proudly, not realizing the huge mistake he’d just made.
“Then why are you six kilograms above it?” Ranma said after chopping him on the forehead and sending him spilling onto his back on the mat.
Kosaku sat up, rubbing his forehead. “Ah, ow…” He then looked up at Ranma. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that, Chairman. I’ve been working hard to get back into shape, honest!”
Ranma had his doubts. “What’s your training look like?”
“I do it just like the pros. I jog every day, jump rope, hit the bags, lift, all of it. I’m definitely on top of the training.” To demonstrate, Kosaku hopped onto his feet and threw a few lightning fast jabs that even impressed Ranma. Or would, if he couldn’t see how slow they were.
Ranma caught the last punch Kosaku threw by the wrist and looked at the other young and impressionable boxers of the club. “Is this true?”
One of the boxers, a first year with curly hair, shifty eyes, and thin lips named Shunpei spoke up. “Yeah, Kosaku works harder than any of us combined, and he hits like a truck in the ring! In every spar since we started up, none of us can take a solid hit from him.”
A third year named Ishida, whose strictness and professionalism made him ideal for the role of vice captain then spoke up. “He’s right. Far as fundamentals are concerned, no one knows or follows them better than the Captain. He’s a natural at this boxing thing.”
Letting go of Kosaku’s fist, Ranma sighed. Something was missing from the equation that eluded him. “Then why is he six kilos too heavy for the weight class he’s meant for?”
Kosaku shrugged his shoulders. “I guess I’ve always just been a little over the limit, right? But hey it’s no big deal, right? I should be fine in Featherweight…”
Ranma shook his head. “Nah, you’ll be eaten alive by any Featherweight built for it. On you it’s just extra fat that’s holding your full power back.”
Kosaku shrugged his shoulders. “We’ll just have to find out then? With enough training I can overcome the extra.”
Again, Ranma shook his head. “Look, how about this? I’m built for Featherweight Class in Boxing and I got two kilos over you. Let’s take it to the ring and I’ll show you.”
Kosaku was surprised, Ranma was toeing the border of Feather and Lightweight. “You’ll box? No kicking or anything like that?”
“I know how to box, so yeah,” Ranma said as he got into the ring after kicking his shoes off and grabbing a pair of gloves. “Get up here, Hatanaka.”
Kosaku obeyed, lacing up his own gloves and hauling himself in to square off against Ranma. Outside of the ring, Ishida, Shunpei, and the other members of the boxing club watched with no small amount of worry. They all knew how fantastically strong and fast their Chairman was, and even with the God in Kosaku’s fists, there was doubt that he would be able land even a glancing blow.
“So how do we do this, Chairman?” Kosaku asked before he slipped a mouthpiece on.
“Don’t hesitate to come at me with full power,” Ranma advised him, “And keep going until I decide that it’s enough, or I knock you down.”
Kosaku smiled a bit. “And if I knock you down?”
Ranma gave him a dispassionate look back. “You won’t. Ring the bell.”
Ishida did as commanded, and to the sharp ding that caught the attention of the rest of the gymnasium Ranma and Kosaku began to circle around the ring in towards one-another.
Kosaku, spirited and filled with determination, lowered his stance and got loose, ready to tighten up and fire punches like rifle shots. While a difference in weight as small as theirs seemed negligible, every milligram counted in the realm of speed, and while he wasn’t technically “built” for Featherweight, he was still lighter, and thus faster, than Ranma on the draw handily.
Ranma’s own gloves came up, his stance defensive and his eyes darting everywhere, scanning Kosaku like an automaton of war reading its targets weaknesses. Any second now the first punch would come and–there!
Kosaku snapped out a left cross, nice and clean. It was so fast that the boxers outside barely processed it. He had hoped to get Ranma to defend with a raised glove or back up so he could move in and follow up with a deluge of blows–but instead the punch hit air as Ranma weaved laterally, throwing off the rhythm Kosaku hoped to start.
“Don’t be discouraged, he’s got good footwork,” Kosaku told himself as he decided to keep him from firing back. He advanced, throwing more jabs, a few hooks, and another cross… but Ranma was still quicker, ducking and dodging the strikes with a combination of footwork and headwork that’d have Ali looking down from heaven and saying “Damn son, now that’s pretty.”
“Just as I thought,” Ranma lamented as Kosaku’s heavy punches did nothing more than drain his stamina and work up a sweat while he flowed around them easily. “He can’t touch me.”
He could see that, and the gathering crowd of spectators could see it as the two danced around the ring, Kosaku growing more and more desperate to catch him off his guard or corner him with a hit he couldn’t avoid.
Kosaku, however, was the only one with a lack of vision.
“That’s it, closer!” He thought triumphantly as his fist came a half-centimeter closer to Ranma if anywhere but in his own mind. “Just a little bit more and I can hit him!”
He grinned. “He’s really making me work for it! Just one solid hit will show him how good I am!”
It would be a right uppercut, driving into his jaw as he drifted from his feinted left hook. He got his floating pattern down, there was no escape! He launched his feint, and sure enough his target floated up and out of the way, right into the path of his hook.
“After this, I’m going to have the biggest, juiciest steak-!” His right uppercut, and hit nothing but air. “Huh?”
He saw something out the lower edge of his vision, and glanced down just slightly to see Ranma’s own come up his chest, straight for his chin. It was like a wall of red by the time he realized it was a punch, an unstoppable force closing in to do its duty and put him flat on his back.
And then it stopped, barely two centimeters from his chin, the displaced air hitting him like a stinging slap that forced him to close one eye as he winced. “Ah… what?”
“We’re done,” Ranma said flatly.
Kosaku stepped back. “What? We’ve just gotten started!”
“Nah man, we’re done, you can’t do it,” Ranma insisted.
Kosaku couldn’t believe it. He was getting so close to landing that hit! “How can you say that? I almost had you!”
“You did not,” Ranma replied.
“It was over before the first punch,” Ishida said with a grim shake of his head.
Kosaku whirled towards the spectators. “What?!”
“Yeah, Captain… you… you weren’t even close to hitting him,” Shunpei added.
“He had you dancing to his tune from the first punch,” another boxer called out.
“Two steps behind him, at every turn,” a judoka said.
“SHAMEFUL DISPLAY!” A Sumo wrestler roared.
Kosaku looked at the crowd jeering him, before he turned towards Ranma, who had taken off his boxing gloves. “But… hey… he’s way faster than me!”
“I was holding myself back for your sake and you still couldn’t do it,” Ranma immediately replied, to Kosaku’s shattering heart, “The problem ain’t me, it’s you. You’re overweight and it saps your power and your speed.”
He then brightened up. “On the bright side, all you need to do is burn off the fat with some additional intensity to your workout and a short diet. It’s no big deal.”
Ranma’s smile vanished when he saw that Kosaku seemed to have had an allergic reaction to what he’d just said. The prodigal boxer stood stone still, as if stricken by a lightning bolt of fear. His face paled, a colder sweat swathed his body, and a shade of blue descended down his face.
What triggered this? Ranma wondered. “Uh… Hatanaka?”
“Y-yeah Chairman?” Kosaku managed to sputter.
“You… can do that… right? I ain’t askin’ a bunch of you, it’s just some simple weight control. A guy like you can burn off six kilos in a week.”
Kosaku stiffened again, but this time he seemed to be in a little more control, glancing around the crowd in the ring as a weak smile formed on his face. He placed his gaze back on Ranma. “Y-yeah, I can do that, chairman, no problem!”
Ranma found Kosaku’s reaction weird, but shrugged it off. It wasn’t that big a deal, the guy probably just had trouble with Weight Control, nothing that he couldn’t fix once he got his metabolism really going. “Cool, now get back to training. I’m going to sit back and observe so come tomorrow we can get a proper regimen down for you. You got it, Club Captain?”
“Y-yeah, sure,” Kosaku said quickly, relief washing over him now that he was off the hook for the moment.
It was hot and sunny outside at the Furinkan High School’s swimming pool, which benefitted from a high, wooden-slatted fence to keep the prying eyes of young men away from the young women who performed better in the pool when they weren’t being ogled in their swimsuits. A considerable number of girls taking part in their usual swim class were being joined by two who normally didn’t swim at this time of day–Akane, who stood with uncertainty at the edge of the pool in her standard issue school swimsuit, and Katie, who was wearing a black and electric green wetsuit that covered her entire body from her neck to her wrists and ankles.
The swimming pool itself was met Olympic standards, fifty meters long and twenty-five meters wide, with a minimum depth of three meters. It was a wide, long, and deep pool… perfect for training would-be Olympians, and an absolute nightmare for Akane as she stared at it.
“The pool wasn’t this big,” she said in a shaky voice. “Or deep.”
“Yeah, they swapped it out while they were rebuilding the school,” Katie said. “I personally have been loving it, it’s the perfect size and depth.”
And Katie was a girl who had exact standards when it came to size and depth.
She began to stretch, twisting her body one way or the other, lifting her limbs above her head, and bending forward and back to loosen her muscles and pop her joints. “The last thing you want to be is intimidated, Akaneko. This is going to be your training ground until you’re swimming like a fish.”
Behind Akane, a few girls began murmuring amongst one another at Katie’s declaration. They tried to be a bit hush-hush about it, but Katie was able to pick most of it out, hushed whispers of skepticism and outright derision. One word came up often in the comments: Hammer.
Ergo, teaching Akane to swim was akin to teaching a hammer to float.
A hammer would have better odds of swimming than Akane.
All Katie knew is that these bitches kept up their snide commentary, she would be beating them with a sack of hammers. “I would like for the girls taking swimming class to go to their half of the pool and not stand around unless they have something constructive for me to overhear!”
Akane sighed in relief, as the girls dispersed except for her two friends, Sayuri and Yuka, who she admittedly hadn’t seen much of in the past few days… weeks…
Sayuri, a pretty girl with dark brown her hair done up in a ponytail with a red ribbon, and Yuka, who had long straight light brown hair, looked rather relieved that the other girls had tottered off to leave Akane alone.
“Akane-chan!” Sayuri said. “We’re here to cheer you on!”
“Yeah,” Yuka said. “You’re in good hands with Izurando-senpai.”
Katie glanced back at the two girls and smirked. “Oh yeah, you two can stay.”
Akane looked over at them. “Sayuri-chan, Yuka-chan, what are you…?”
“We’re members of the female swimming club!” Yuka said. “We’ve been kinda worried about the lack of attention.”
Sayuri nodded assent. “We kind of figured it was because you didn’t like the water much, since you never went swimming in Junior High, but it’s okay if you can’t swim.”
“We’ve seen Izurando-san swim, she’s amazing!” Yuka said.
“Dang right I am,” Katie said before she edged closer to the water and gestured for Akane to follow. “Come on and sit on the edge, get your feet wet, Akaneko.”
Hesitantly, fearing that Katie might shove her in (she never forgot that her senpai described herself as the meanest person she’d know), Akane sat down by the pool and dipped her feet in. It was much warmer than she thought it’d be, but still comfortably cool enough to make her forget about the late spring sun beating on her back.
“I’m gonna start slow with you, cause I think I know what your problem is already,” Katie said as she stood next to her.
Akane looked up at her. “What is it?”
“You can’t float,” Katie replied simply. “Human bodies have a slightly lower density than water so under ideal conditions a human body will float on its own. Some of us though are a bit more dense so we’re neutral buoyant or worse–drop like a stone.”
Akane nodded, finding that reasonable, and a little down at that. “So I can never swim?”
Katie then flashed her a smile. “Don’t feel bad. I sink like a stone, too.”
She gestured to her lithe, powerful body. “More muscle and thick bone than fat, and even before then I tended to drop like a rock.” Turning to the water, she got ready. “With that being said…!”
With the grace of a bird on the wing, Katie pitched herself off the pool edge and into a graceful dive. She splashed in and shot through the water, a trail of bubbles following behind her until with a powerful kick she left them behind and raced towards the middle of the pool like a torpedo.
“Whoa!” Akane gaped in amazement at Katie’s speed through the water.
Three meters down, Katie touched the concrete bottom and turned herself around, before kicking off towards the surface, her arms stretching ahead of her and coming down to her sides, pushing herself through the water even faster than on her way in, until she surfaced just short of the pool’s edge and began to tread on the surface like she belonged in the water all her life.
“Not bad for a girl who drops like a rock, huh?” She asked the three girls.
Yuka turned to Akane. “I told you she’s awesome in the water.”
“You’re so graceful…” Akane said, just floored at her prowess.
Katie chuckled and pushed herself to the left, and to the right. “The trick is–and this should be easy to fix–is to overcome your fear of the water. Do that, and you’ll be like a fish in no time.”
“To be honest,” Akane said as she gripped the side of the pool, “I’m feeling a little bit confident right now!”
Before Katie could stop her, Akane shoved off into the water, splashing in… and panicking the moment she was totally immersed.
As it turned out, she wasn’t ready at all, and Katie had to fish her out of the pool… getting kicked and punched by the thrashing Akane several times in the process.
This was going to be harder than she thought.
This was going to be harder than he thought.
Exactly one week had gone by since Ranma had left Kosaku to the diet and training regimen. He was relatively hands off about it, only popping in during the day to check in on his training, and he found that everything looked pretty good. Kosaku was tearing up the gym with his training, and even the other clubs the boxing club shared the gym with noticed that he was putting in more effort.
So that just made it confusing that Kosaku lost no weight at all when the weigh-in came at the end of the week.
“Something’s not right here.” Ranma said after deliberating for a few seconds.
“Chairman?” Kosaku asked, somewhat nervous.
“Hatanaka,” Ranma said, giving him a visual once over. “You’ve not gained a single bit of muscle.”
“Eh?” The confused boxer asked. “How can you tell?”
“You’re not getting any more defined.” Ranma pointed out. “If anything, you’re getting flabbier. That tells me you’re not following the diet I laid out.”
“Captain...” several of the other members murmured, with Ishida looking especially betrayed.
“Of course I am, I’m just a little bit bigger is all. A growth spurt!” Kosaku tried to deflect the ire of his teammates.
“Your midsection doesn’t grow like that.” Ranma snapped, pinching one of the flabbier bits.
“Owowowowowowowowowowoww!” Kosaku chattered in pain.
“Sorry, but I gave you a chance to turn this around on your own and you repaid me by failing at an easy task.” Ranma said, shaking his head. “I can see everyone else wants to be part of this club and wants to box. I’m not entirely convinced you do.”
“Boxing is the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do in my life!” Kosaku stood up for himself.
“Then lose the weight Hatanaka! I’m not going to keep gifting you chances.” Ranma said, narrowing his eyes. “If this trend continues, you can count losing your captaincy as the least of your worries, you won’t even be in this club anymore!”
“C-Chairman...” Kosaku turned white with fear.
“Nobody in this club wants to see you thrown out.” Ranma said, trying to appeal to the guts within the boxer before him. “And if you want to be a pro boxer? You can’t be failing to make your weight as a high schooler. The path you’re on needs real dedication, so either give it what it needs or get off the path.”
He then took Kosaku’s hand and held it up. “You’ve got potential, you’ve got power. You just need guts.” He balled it into a fist with his other hand, Kosaku keeping it held up after. “Guts! That fire in your belly! Use that to fight through this, and you’ll be fine!”
Kosaku stared back at Ranma, seeing the fire in his own determination, and nodded. “R-right, Chairman!”
Practice proceeded after that at double-time, spurred on by Ranma’s fiery words. Ishida and the rest certainly seemed to step up and push Kosaku forward, working their endangered captain beyond what seemed normal. At the end of the day, though, the Captain of the Boxing Club was tired, agitated, and above all hungry.
And so it was he left the school in something of a mood. He shadow boxed along his route to try and keep his ire down but it did no good. He knew he had to lose weight, especially if it was commanded by the guy in charge of all clubs for the guys. He knew these things and yet...
“Old man, one taiyaki, extra red bean jelly!” Kosaku ordered at a taiyaki stall not far from Furinkan.
The taiyaki chef looked over and grinned. “Damn Kosaku, back at it again with the taiyaki!”
Kosaku slapped some money down on the counter. “I had a huge day, so I think I’ll take two!”
Ah, the light pastry did wonders for his mood, and he tucked it away in record time, almost not even realizing he had brought the thing in the first place. The rush of sweet bean paste and flaky pastry ebbed quickly, however and as he resumed his shadow boxing he was thinking hard again. How was he going to lose weight? He had tried so hard last week and…
“Excuse me! Can I get a curry bread?” Kosaku ordered from another food stall.
Mmmm... the warmth of the bread and the curry just seemed to lift his cares away. His weight was no big deal, all he’d have to do is just work harder, and it’d all come off. No sense in-
“Oh! My favorite rice crackers are on sale! Lucky!” Kosaku cheered as he walked past a convenience store.
He continued his march home, munching on the crackers without a single care now. In fact, he was looking forward to the next few stops now. What was there ever for him to worry about? He just had to punch his way out of a bad situation.
“One jumbo pork ramen with an egg!” Kosaku ordered at the ramen stand just blocks from his house.
That sure hit the spot, extra protein meant extra power for fighting the weight. Maybe a bit more protein wouldn’t hurt, he decided as he left the ramen stand, the bowl polished. And so…
“One Oyakodon and one Gyudon please!” Kosaku said, stopping at the don shop not too far from the ramen place.
He was almost full, for now anyways, but he couldn’t imagine finishing his meal-run home until he got some… wait… where was it?
“Wait, wasn’t it around here?’ Kosaku asked, looking around for a particular stand. It was just the greatest thing ever! Did she move…?
His answer was yes, but he needn’t despair, because there it was in all its glory right outside the apartment building he called home: Ukyo’s Okonomiyaki Yattai and it was right outside his house.
“Hey there champ!” Its proprietor, young woman named Ukyo Kuonji, greeted him. “I figured I’d save you a lot of trouble of finding my cart every afternoon and just set up out here!”
Ukyo was a handsome young woman, her long brown hair was done up in a nice ponytail, her jacket was tight around her rather ample chest. She wore an all-too short skirt with leggings that would seemed to adhere to some “golden ratio”. On her own she was a dynamite package, throw in her incredible cooking skills and it was easy to understand why there was a sign requesting no marriage proposals.
“K-Kuonji-san! I thought I was going to have to go a day without your okonomiyaki!” Kosaku wailed with tears in the corners of his eyes.
“That’d be hell wouldn’t it?” Ukyo asked with a snicker. “What’ll be? I’ll make it fresh.”
“Shrimp, pork belly and octopus, plus extra sauce.” Kosaku ordered his favorite, er, well one of his favorites. She could probably just fry the batter without anything else and he’d eat a hundred of them.
“Coming right up,” she replied, getting to work as fast as she usually did. It was amazing the speed with which she could work, but Kosaku had long since given up figuring it out. It only took a minute for her to have the batter and all the fixings ready and soon the okonomiyaki was sizzling away on the hot plate of the yattai.
“Smells good.” He was understating his reaction a bit, what with the drool pouring out of his mouth.
“Well smelling is free, eating is another matter,” Ukyo said with a bit of a cheeky smirk on her face.
“I always make sure I have enough for everything on my way home, that goes double for you.” Kosaku was quick to reassure her.
“I know how you get around food Hacchan,” she replied. “I don’t want to beat up my number one customer because he ate first and immediately got amnesia.”
“Fine fine, I get it.” He complained but complied, putting the required 310 yen on the counter.
She took the money and flipped the okonomiyaki. She grabbed the squirt bottle of sauce she used and gave it a shake, getting ready to finish it up. Within the next minute, a flurry of movement almost obscured the finishing touches before she knocked it up into the air to perfectly catch it on a plate. Okonomiyaki sauce, mayonnaise and a few bonito flakes were added before she put it down in front of him.
“Oooooh!” Kosaku was amazed no matter how many times he had seen it. Another sniff confirmed that it was positively divine smelling. He couldn’t wait anymore! “Thanks for the food!”
As he began to tear into it, Ukyo folded her arms. “You’re extra ravenous today, huh champ? That slave-driver of a chairman picking on you?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe!” Kosaku replied. “He’s actually doubled my training. I’m barely going to be able to walk home… this time next week.”
Ukyo gave him a reassuring smile. “You’ll have one heck of an appetite worked up though, right?”
Kosaku, stuffing his face, found himself looking forward to being that hungry, if only to satisfy it. “Sure will, I’m definitely working on making weight.”
Hearing that, Ukyo frowned. “Hey, if you’re trying to make weight, shouldn’t you not be eatin’ like you do?”
Upon hearing that, Kosaku looked like he was having trouble swallowing. He managed to recover, however, and coughed a bit. He smiled weakly.
“I haven’t eaten all day!” He immediately replied. “Like I said, that Chairman of mine is a slave driver! I’m probably going to skip dinner tonight, too.”
That appeared to flatter Ukyo, who smiled cutely. “Aw geez, you’re making it sound like I’m the only meal you need there, champ!”
“Would it be wrong if you were?” Kosaku asked.
Ukyo laughed. “Not at all! I’ll be happy to support you from here in!” Her look became slightly chiding. “You’d just better make that weight, you hear?”
Kosaku nodded and headed for the door to his apartment. He looked back and waved to Ukyo “You can trust me, Ucchan. I’m going to beat that weigh-in with flying colors!”
“I’m cheering you on, Hachan!” Ukyo called back.
As he turned and headed through the door, Kosaku wiped the sweat from his brow and swallowed anxiously. He didn’t want to lie to Ukyo like that… but… he was hungry! As long as he passed the weigh-in next week, he was going to be just fine. He was going to lighten up his food intake, triple his routine, and do everything he could to avoid Ranma until he was at Flyweight.
With that resolve in mind, he went into the elevator to ride up to his apartment. He was already looking forward to what his Mom had ready for dinner.
This was going to be easy, he thought. Seven days was enough to do this.
If there was one thing Katie learned from her uncle, it was taking the good with the bad and finding a way to eliminate the bad. While not exactly an easy task in most regards, the danger in this line of thinking was that you had to have a lot more good than bad. And sometimes, when you struggled to find the good…
Well, to call her frustrated was to call a nuclear detonation a minor disaster; rather, a massive understatement bordering on sheer dogged denial of reality. Akane was fine… as long as you didn’t ask her to actually get her to float in open water. Have her stand in shallow water, or hold onto the pool’s edge, or even stand on a platform to keep her above the deep water and she was fine. Problem was, the instant her feet left the bottom, she became a whirlwind of flailing limbs and panic that hit a hell of a lot harder when panicked than when she was actually trying to hit hard.
The First time, she tried to get Akane to swim with a body board. In the ensuing panic attack, she took the board to the solar plexus and had the wind knocked right out of her. Sayuri and Yuka had to fish her out of the water and nearly got dragged in when they saved Akane with a life ring.
Second time, she put Akane in a life vest. Despite the fact that she had floated, she still lost all control, and ended up destroying the life vest, prompting another rescue that got Katie punched in the eye.
Finally, on the verge of giving up, she put Akane in water wings and an inner tube… and she was literally kicked from the pool, along with a lot of water when Akane somehow capsized. It was for that reason Katie was actually sitting on the edge of the pool, her right hand resting over her right eye as she stared at the sloshing water out her left.
Patience was not something Katie had a large supply of, especially in the face of something so simple. If she could just get the girl to stop freaking out, then she’d be swimming in no time. Easier said than done, since it seemed all tips and pointers went out the window even though no one was going to let her drown.
How could this be going so poorly?
Akane was, to be certain, embarrassed beyond belief even as she sat a short distance away with a quiet Sayuri and Yuka standing over her. She had made a fool of herself in front of Senpai and now everything stank like unwashed booty. By all accounts she should be getting this but…
Honestly, she knew all the mechanics for every swimstroke. She had studied them rigorously even though she was a hammer. Just the possibility she could overcome her handicap and swim was a dream but…
Why was it such a nightmare?
“Akane-chan.” Yuka finally said. “I don’t think you need to learn how to swim to assess a captain for us.”
“What?” Akane asked, flabbergasted by this sudden betrayal.
“It’s been four days and you’re nowhere near being elementary school level.” Sayuri said with a gentle tone. “You just seem like you don’t want to swim and if you don’t want to then no one can teach you.”
“You’re wrong!” Akane said, bangs covering her eyes as she tried to hide her shame. “I do want to, it’s just…”
“You’re too scared,” Katie said from her seat near the pool. She was still packing the ghost of the shiner Akane gave her the other day. That said, from hanging out at the pool for so long she was also sporting a tan most fans of the Ganguro trend would die for.
“I’m not afraid!” Akane snapped back hotly. She wasn’t going to take that without retaliation.
“Are you shitting me?” Katie replied, incredulous to the bone. “Don’t even say that, Akaneko. Even with three really good swimmers right there, you completely forget how to function and start attacking everything around you. It’s amazing that I’m the only one who’s gotten beaten up!”
Akane’s face was burning up. “It’s not that easy!”
“Of course it is!” Katie answered right back, frustration overflowing.
“You can swim, you’re not a hammer-” Akane started to shout down her idol.
“Excuse me?! Why do you think I volunteered?!” Katie interrupted, shouting now. “I have the same problem as you, I just learned to compensate for it. Something you refuse to listen to and learn!”
“You… you think I don’t want to learn? That I’m just playing one big stupid joke on everybody!” Akane shouted back.
“Hey hey, calm down both of you!” Yuka tried to cut in.
“Well I ain’t seeing anything that tells me I’m wrong!” Katie ignored her, now focused on venting her frustration. “We should be done with this shit already!”
“Akane-chan!” Sayuri tried this time. “Katie-senpai that’s enough! Cut it out!”
Akane stood up and stormed over to her. “Forget this and forget you too then! Why don’t you just deal with the club then Miss Perfect?!”
Katie rose up in challenge. “Least they’ll have a club president since the Chairwoman doesn’t have the guts for her job!”
That was the breaking point, finally, as Akane saw red. “Senpai, you… you idiot!”
“Whatever Hammer-chan.” Katie snapped. “You should have just told me not to waste my time on you if all you wanted to do was sink.”
“You guys!” Both Yuka and Sayuri screamed, trying to break through the wall of belligerence the two had built.
Akane marched right up to Katie and threw a slap, in her anger forgetting how good Katie was.
Senpai reminded her, blocking the slap and returning one faster than Akane could comprehend. The stinging report echoed throughout the area, Akane rocked back on her heels from the force. No one made a sound, as the two were frozen in their position.
Akane stared, wide-eyed at Katie. With that stinging blow, everything had come right back to level… and she realized just how badly she screwed up.
“Consider that your discipline.” Katie said coldly, before she turned to leave. “Now go fuck off.”
Akane’s mouth moved, but no words came out as the harsh words stabbed her right in the chest.
“Don’t bother showing back up here for training anymore” Katie finished, her tone pure crass, before she addressed Yuka and Sayuri. “Since your Chairwoman is unreliable, I’ll come by practice tomorrow and sort you guys out.”
“Y-yes,” Sayuri quickly said, while Yuka looked back and forth between the two friends, still aghast.
Akane said nothing, just fought back her tears as Katie stormed off.
Where did it all go wrong?
Senpai
A Ranma ½ Story
Chapter 10/?
|Assessment|
The Kingdom of Kodachi did not demand perfection, but it did strive for a standard that many would mistake for it. Such was the drive of a Rhythmic Gymnastic Martial Artist, and of a girl whose madness aligned with the desires of her subjects rather than intersected them like a bus with a pedestrian at 80 kilometers an hour. With this in consideration, Ranma, Akane, and Katie were in the office of the student council, facing a Kodachi who’d just finished practicing a floor routine in the middle of the large room.
“Tendo Nabiki-san has finished an assessment of the student body,” Kodachi said as she draped a cool, damp towel over her shoulders, “And while there is proficient growth in all areas, not everything is going well for everyone.”
“Someone’s lagging behind?” Ranma, who was standing to Akane’s left asked, finding this a bit surprising.
Nabiki nodded. “Quite a number of students, academically and in club activities. While there’s only so much the Student Council can do about teachers, the status of our clubs is something we can entirely intervene upon.”
Katie, who stood to the right of Akane, folded her arms. “Who, why, and what do we have to do?”
“To my relief it’s only two areas, and only one is an actual threat to our war potential,” Kodachi revealed. She then looked to Ranma. “The Boxing Club, Saotome-san. The Captain we chose for it is having difficulty acclimating to his role.”
She shook her head. “I should’ve expected that one of the Captains wouldn’t be exact leadership material despite their performance, but I didn’t expect it would be this dramatic.”
Ranma frowned. From what he himself saw of the boxing club, they seemed like a tight ship. Was there something he missed? “I’ll get right on investigating it, shouldn’t take too much work. If the Captain ain’t Captain material, I’ll find a new guy to replace him.”
Kodachi nodded. “I have no doubt that you will.” She then turned to Akane. “The second matter involves a non-combat club, and specifically one side of it.”
“What is it?” Akane asked.
“The Girls’ Swimming Club.”
Both Ranma and Katie noticed Akane go ramrod straight at the mention of swimming… and they were further surprised to see her begin to sweat a bit.
“Er…” Akane said. “I’ve um… been a bit behind on them, haven’t I?”
“You haven’t even chosen a Captain, Tendo Akane-san,” Kodachi pointed out.
Ranma turned to face Akane. “What? It’s been weeks.”
Katie’s hands came to rest on her hips. “Ne, Akaneko, do you not like swimming or something?”
Her tone seemed a bit rough as she asked this, like she sounded a bit offended.
Akane frowned. “Look, I’ll find someone to Captain the team, I’ve just been busy with the other clubs…”
“That is no excuse,” Kodachi called her out. “Time that you spend idling could be used elsewhere, and when the girls club is out wading in the pool, you’re finding distractions for yourself.”
Akane recoiled backwards. “H-have you been spying on me?!” She looked to Katie, accusingly. “S-Senpai!”
Katie raised an eyebrow, finding Akane’s defensiveness to be confusing. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. This is your problem.”
“Hey guys, lay off her,” Nabiki said from the doorway. “She just can’t swim.”
Akane flushed and whirled on Nabiki. “You…!”
Ranma correctly supposed that this was something of an embarrassment to Akane.
Katie stopped, and let out a bemused huff. “That’s it?”
“Sinks like a rock the moment you drop her into any body of water deeper than she’s tall,” Nabiki went on.
Kodachi was astounded. “So that is the cause of this deficiency. Well, then it’s a simple matter of teaching her to swim.”
Akane lowered her head. “It’s not that easy…”
“Nope,” Nabiki agreed.
“When I was younger, I never went swimming without my inner tube.”
“It was a gift from Mom,” Nabiki said.
“We didn’t go to the beach or the pool often,” Akane continued.
“Daddy was a bit stingy on family vacations unless he could turn them into training trips,” Nabiki piped in.
“And then there was that one camping trip we went on, where I was attacked by a Platypus…”
“It’s more terrifying than you think,” Nabiki added with a sage nod.
Ranma and Katie looked shared a skeptical look with one-another.
“The fact is,” Akane said, “I… just don’t really like the water.”
Katie clapped a hand on her shoulder, and smiled an uncharacteristically large one. “Well, that’s going to change, because I happen to love the water, and I love to swim.”
“Do you, now?” Nabiki asked, interested.
Katie nodded. “Yeah, in fact… I’m an unofficial world record holder for Constant Weight Without Fins Freediving. 300 meters.”
Nabiki paled a bit. “Wait, what?”
Katie folded her arms, looking rather proud of herself. “Yeah, it’s unofficial because I was like thirteen when I did it and no official body would recognize it.” She then scowled a bit. “In fact, when my Uncle Nick tried to have it recognized, Child Protective Services started paying my parents visits…”
During the third such visit her father had her show the nice CPS lady that she could field-strip, reassemble, and load a Type 81 in 30 seconds. They stopped coming by after that, impressed by such responsible and disciplined parents.
Akane was more impressed. “Wow, that far underwater?”
Katie beamed. “Yep! Any issue you have with water, I’ll put an end to it.”
Ranma found himself a bit skeptical, but he swam from Japan to China on his fateful training trip and back, so someone swimming that far underwater probably wasn’t such an unbelievable thing.
Kodachi nodded. “So it’s agreed, then? Saotome-san, deal with the Boxing Club. Izurando-san, I leave Tendo Akane-san’s swimming lessons in your care.”
Katie gave Kodachi a very American thumb’s up. “You can count on me.”
“The three of you are dismissed,” Kodachi then said “Tendo Nabiki-san, I wish to discuss the matter of a few acquisitions I’ve made.”
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. What kind of acquisitions?”
Maybe she was finally getting that Goku Uniform.
“I have taken in the young man who came to grace your company during that debacle with the Amazon, Mu Tsu. His skills and insight may prove fruitful in the future, given that the Amazon woman took us all by surprise.”
Huh, that was unexpected. “You think we might get visits from more of their kind?”
“Xian Pu was one of their village’s more prideful warriors as he’s told me, she’s made her fair share of enemies. Worse still the fact she lost so thoroughly may be casus belli for more of her ilk to resolve the matter of lost pride.”
Nabiki soured a tad. “That’s good to know. Anything less ominous?”
Kodachi chuckled. “When we raid Tomobiki High School, we may be coming back with more than merely victory. I have received signals that one of the staff is interested in a position at a better school. I need you to make good of your gossip skills to confirm this is true.”
“Ah, so Kodachi wants some good ol’ fashioned social engineering from yours truly?” Nabiki was down to ride. “Shoot, if what you’re offering faculty is better than what you’ve offered me, I’ll pull the whole faculty out from under their noses.”
“Ohoho…” Kodachi chuckled. “That will be unnecessary. I only want their absolute best, an irreplaceable asset to their school and morale.”
She steepled her fingers and stared pointedly at Nabiki with dark eyes filled with malice.
“Give me that, and I will grind Tomobiki even deeper into the dirt.”
|The Boxer|
From 11 am to 2pm, Furinkan’s gymnasium belonged to the boys combat clubs that didn’t wield weapons. Judo, Karate, Sumo, and of course Boxing. Of these four clubs, three were a hive of activity, with students clashing in the rings and on the mats, or running through the drills in unison, their kiai momentarily drowning out the din of self-improvement. The fourth however wasn’t gathered around the ring, which stood empty, but instead around a weight scale and the Chairman of the Boys Athletic Committee.
“Fifty-eight kilograms,” Ranma said as he stared at the scale stood upon. “Fifty-eight… that’s Featherweight.”
Kosaku, a moderately handsome young man wearing only a pair of boxing shorts for the sake of the weigh in, put on a weak, hopeless smile. “Technically Super Featherweight…”
Ranma folded his arms and looked at the young man, who aside from a bit of padding around his stomach and sides that would go unnoticed by the uninitiated appeared to be in good physical shape. “What class are you best in, Hatanaka?”
“Flyweight, hands down,” Kosaku replied proudly, not realizing the huge mistake he’d just made.
“Then why are you six kilograms above it?” Ranma said after chopping him on the forehead and sending him spilling onto his back on the mat.
Kosaku sat up, rubbing his forehead. “Ah, ow…” He then looked up at Ranma. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that, Chairman. I’ve been working hard to get back into shape, honest!”
Ranma had his doubts. “What’s your training look like?”
“I do it just like the pros. I jog every day, jump rope, hit the bags, lift, all of it. I’m definitely on top of the training.” To demonstrate, Kosaku hopped onto his feet and threw a few lightning fast jabs that even impressed Ranma. Or would, if he couldn’t see how slow they were.
Ranma caught the last punch Kosaku threw by the wrist and looked at the other young and impressionable boxers of the club. “Is this true?”
One of the boxers, a first year with curly hair, shifty eyes, and thin lips named Shunpei spoke up. “Yeah, Kosaku works harder than any of us combined, and he hits like a truck in the ring! In every spar since we started up, none of us can take a solid hit from him.”
A third year named Ishida, whose strictness and professionalism made him ideal for the role of vice captain then spoke up. “He’s right. Far as fundamentals are concerned, no one knows or follows them better than the Captain. He’s a natural at this boxing thing.”
Letting go of Kosaku’s fist, Ranma sighed. Something was missing from the equation that eluded him. “Then why is he six kilos too heavy for the weight class he’s meant for?”
Kosaku shrugged his shoulders. “I guess I’ve always just been a little over the limit, right? But hey it’s no big deal, right? I should be fine in Featherweight…”
Ranma shook his head. “Nah, you’ll be eaten alive by any Featherweight built for it. On you it’s just extra fat that’s holding your full power back.”
Kosaku shrugged his shoulders. “We’ll just have to find out then? With enough training I can overcome the extra.”
Again, Ranma shook his head. “Look, how about this? I’m built for Featherweight Class in Boxing and I got two kilos over you. Let’s take it to the ring and I’ll show you.”
Kosaku was surprised, Ranma was toeing the border of Feather and Lightweight. “You’ll box? No kicking or anything like that?”
“I know how to box, so yeah,” Ranma said as he got into the ring after kicking his shoes off and grabbing a pair of gloves. “Get up here, Hatanaka.”
Kosaku obeyed, lacing up his own gloves and hauling himself in to square off against Ranma. Outside of the ring, Ishida, Shunpei, and the other members of the boxing club watched with no small amount of worry. They all knew how fantastically strong and fast their Chairman was, and even with the God in Kosaku’s fists, there was doubt that he would be able land even a glancing blow.
“So how do we do this, Chairman?” Kosaku asked before he slipped a mouthpiece on.
“Don’t hesitate to come at me with full power,” Ranma advised him, “And keep going until I decide that it’s enough, or I knock you down.”
Kosaku smiled a bit. “And if I knock you down?”
Ranma gave him a dispassionate look back. “You won’t. Ring the bell.”
Ishida did as commanded, and to the sharp ding that caught the attention of the rest of the gymnasium Ranma and Kosaku began to circle around the ring in towards one-another.
Kosaku, spirited and filled with determination, lowered his stance and got loose, ready to tighten up and fire punches like rifle shots. While a difference in weight as small as theirs seemed negligible, every milligram counted in the realm of speed, and while he wasn’t technically “built” for Featherweight, he was still lighter, and thus faster, than Ranma on the draw handily.
Ranma’s own gloves came up, his stance defensive and his eyes darting everywhere, scanning Kosaku like an automaton of war reading its targets weaknesses. Any second now the first punch would come and–there!
Kosaku snapped out a left cross, nice and clean. It was so fast that the boxers outside barely processed it. He had hoped to get Ranma to defend with a raised glove or back up so he could move in and follow up with a deluge of blows–but instead the punch hit air as Ranma weaved laterally, throwing off the rhythm Kosaku hoped to start.
“Don’t be discouraged, he’s got good footwork,” Kosaku told himself as he decided to keep him from firing back. He advanced, throwing more jabs, a few hooks, and another cross… but Ranma was still quicker, ducking and dodging the strikes with a combination of footwork and headwork that’d have Ali looking down from heaven and saying “Damn son, now that’s pretty.”
“Just as I thought,” Ranma lamented as Kosaku’s heavy punches did nothing more than drain his stamina and work up a sweat while he flowed around them easily. “He can’t touch me.”
He could see that, and the gathering crowd of spectators could see it as the two danced around the ring, Kosaku growing more and more desperate to catch him off his guard or corner him with a hit he couldn’t avoid.
Kosaku, however, was the only one with a lack of vision.
“That’s it, closer!” He thought triumphantly as his fist came a half-centimeter closer to Ranma if anywhere but in his own mind. “Just a little bit more and I can hit him!”
He grinned. “He’s really making me work for it! Just one solid hit will show him how good I am!”
It would be a right uppercut, driving into his jaw as he drifted from his feinted left hook. He got his floating pattern down, there was no escape! He launched his feint, and sure enough his target floated up and out of the way, right into the path of his hook.
“After this, I’m going to have the biggest, juiciest steak-!” His right uppercut, and hit nothing but air. “Huh?”
He saw something out the lower edge of his vision, and glanced down just slightly to see Ranma’s own come up his chest, straight for his chin. It was like a wall of red by the time he realized it was a punch, an unstoppable force closing in to do its duty and put him flat on his back.
And then it stopped, barely two centimeters from his chin, the displaced air hitting him like a stinging slap that forced him to close one eye as he winced. “Ah… what?”
“We’re done,” Ranma said flatly.
Kosaku stepped back. “What? We’ve just gotten started!”
“Nah man, we’re done, you can’t do it,” Ranma insisted.
Kosaku couldn’t believe it. He was getting so close to landing that hit! “How can you say that? I almost had you!”
“You did not,” Ranma replied.
“It was over before the first punch,” Ishida said with a grim shake of his head.
Kosaku whirled towards the spectators. “What?!”
“Yeah, Captain… you… you weren’t even close to hitting him,” Shunpei added.
“He had you dancing to his tune from the first punch,” another boxer called out.
“Two steps behind him, at every turn,” a judoka said.
“SHAMEFUL DISPLAY!” A Sumo wrestler roared.
Kosaku looked at the crowd jeering him, before he turned towards Ranma, who had taken off his boxing gloves. “But… hey… he’s way faster than me!”
“I was holding myself back for your sake and you still couldn’t do it,” Ranma immediately replied, to Kosaku’s shattering heart, “The problem ain’t me, it’s you. You’re overweight and it saps your power and your speed.”
He then brightened up. “On the bright side, all you need to do is burn off the fat with some additional intensity to your workout and a short diet. It’s no big deal.”
Ranma’s smile vanished when he saw that Kosaku seemed to have had an allergic reaction to what he’d just said. The prodigal boxer stood stone still, as if stricken by a lightning bolt of fear. His face paled, a colder sweat swathed his body, and a shade of blue descended down his face.
What triggered this? Ranma wondered. “Uh… Hatanaka?”
“Y-yeah Chairman?” Kosaku managed to sputter.
“You… can do that… right? I ain’t askin’ a bunch of you, it’s just some simple weight control. A guy like you can burn off six kilos in a week.”
Kosaku stiffened again, but this time he seemed to be in a little more control, glancing around the crowd in the ring as a weak smile formed on his face. He placed his gaze back on Ranma. “Y-yeah, I can do that, chairman, no problem!”
Ranma found Kosaku’s reaction weird, but shrugged it off. It wasn’t that big a deal, the guy probably just had trouble with Weight Control, nothing that he couldn’t fix once he got his metabolism really going. “Cool, now get back to training. I’m going to sit back and observe so come tomorrow we can get a proper regimen down for you. You got it, Club Captain?”
“Y-yeah, sure,” Kosaku said quickly, relief washing over him now that he was off the hook for the moment.
|Waiting for the Hammer to Swim|
It was hot and sunny outside at the Furinkan High School’s swimming pool, which benefitted from a high, wooden-slatted fence to keep the prying eyes of young men away from the young women who performed better in the pool when they weren’t being ogled in their swimsuits. A considerable number of girls taking part in their usual swim class were being joined by two who normally didn’t swim at this time of day–Akane, who stood with uncertainty at the edge of the pool in her standard issue school swimsuit, and Katie, who was wearing a black and electric green wetsuit that covered her entire body from her neck to her wrists and ankles.
The swimming pool itself was met Olympic standards, fifty meters long and twenty-five meters wide, with a minimum depth of three meters. It was a wide, long, and deep pool… perfect for training would-be Olympians, and an absolute nightmare for Akane as she stared at it.
“The pool wasn’t this big,” she said in a shaky voice. “Or deep.”
“Yeah, they swapped it out while they were rebuilding the school,” Katie said. “I personally have been loving it, it’s the perfect size and depth.”
And Katie was a girl who had exact standards when it came to size and depth.
She began to stretch, twisting her body one way or the other, lifting her limbs above her head, and bending forward and back to loosen her muscles and pop her joints. “The last thing you want to be is intimidated, Akaneko. This is going to be your training ground until you’re swimming like a fish.”
Behind Akane, a few girls began murmuring amongst one another at Katie’s declaration. They tried to be a bit hush-hush about it, but Katie was able to pick most of it out, hushed whispers of skepticism and outright derision. One word came up often in the comments: Hammer.
Ergo, teaching Akane to swim was akin to teaching a hammer to float.
A hammer would have better odds of swimming than Akane.
All Katie knew is that these bitches kept up their snide commentary, she would be beating them with a sack of hammers. “I would like for the girls taking swimming class to go to their half of the pool and not stand around unless they have something constructive for me to overhear!”
Akane sighed in relief, as the girls dispersed except for her two friends, Sayuri and Yuka, who she admittedly hadn’t seen much of in the past few days… weeks…
Sayuri, a pretty girl with dark brown her hair done up in a ponytail with a red ribbon, and Yuka, who had long straight light brown hair, looked rather relieved that the other girls had tottered off to leave Akane alone.
“Akane-chan!” Sayuri said. “We’re here to cheer you on!”
“Yeah,” Yuka said. “You’re in good hands with Izurando-senpai.”
Katie glanced back at the two girls and smirked. “Oh yeah, you two can stay.”
Akane looked over at them. “Sayuri-chan, Yuka-chan, what are you…?”
“We’re members of the female swimming club!” Yuka said. “We’ve been kinda worried about the lack of attention.”
Sayuri nodded assent. “We kind of figured it was because you didn’t like the water much, since you never went swimming in Junior High, but it’s okay if you can’t swim.”
“We’ve seen Izurando-san swim, she’s amazing!” Yuka said.
“Dang right I am,” Katie said before she edged closer to the water and gestured for Akane to follow. “Come on and sit on the edge, get your feet wet, Akaneko.”
Hesitantly, fearing that Katie might shove her in (she never forgot that her senpai described herself as the meanest person she’d know), Akane sat down by the pool and dipped her feet in. It was much warmer than she thought it’d be, but still comfortably cool enough to make her forget about the late spring sun beating on her back.
“I’m gonna start slow with you, cause I think I know what your problem is already,” Katie said as she stood next to her.
Akane looked up at her. “What is it?”
“You can’t float,” Katie replied simply. “Human bodies have a slightly lower density than water so under ideal conditions a human body will float on its own. Some of us though are a bit more dense so we’re neutral buoyant or worse–drop like a stone.”
Akane nodded, finding that reasonable, and a little down at that. “So I can never swim?”
Katie then flashed her a smile. “Don’t feel bad. I sink like a stone, too.”
She gestured to her lithe, powerful body. “More muscle and thick bone than fat, and even before then I tended to drop like a rock.” Turning to the water, she got ready. “With that being said…!”
With the grace of a bird on the wing, Katie pitched herself off the pool edge and into a graceful dive. She splashed in and shot through the water, a trail of bubbles following behind her until with a powerful kick she left them behind and raced towards the middle of the pool like a torpedo.
“Whoa!” Akane gaped in amazement at Katie’s speed through the water.
Three meters down, Katie touched the concrete bottom and turned herself around, before kicking off towards the surface, her arms stretching ahead of her and coming down to her sides, pushing herself through the water even faster than on her way in, until she surfaced just short of the pool’s edge and began to tread on the surface like she belonged in the water all her life.
“Not bad for a girl who drops like a rock, huh?” She asked the three girls.
Yuka turned to Akane. “I told you she’s awesome in the water.”
“You’re so graceful…” Akane said, just floored at her prowess.
Katie chuckled and pushed herself to the left, and to the right. “The trick is–and this should be easy to fix–is to overcome your fear of the water. Do that, and you’ll be like a fish in no time.”
“To be honest,” Akane said as she gripped the side of the pool, “I’m feeling a little bit confident right now!”
Before Katie could stop her, Akane shoved off into the water, splashing in… and panicking the moment she was totally immersed.
As it turned out, she wasn’t ready at all, and Katie had to fish her out of the pool… getting kicked and punched by the thrashing Akane several times in the process.
This was going to be harder than she thought.
|Making Weight|
This was going to be harder than he thought.
Exactly one week had gone by since Ranma had left Kosaku to the diet and training regimen. He was relatively hands off about it, only popping in during the day to check in on his training, and he found that everything looked pretty good. Kosaku was tearing up the gym with his training, and even the other clubs the boxing club shared the gym with noticed that he was putting in more effort.
So that just made it confusing that Kosaku lost no weight at all when the weigh-in came at the end of the week.
“Something’s not right here.” Ranma said after deliberating for a few seconds.
“Chairman?” Kosaku asked, somewhat nervous.
“Hatanaka,” Ranma said, giving him a visual once over. “You’ve not gained a single bit of muscle.”
“Eh?” The confused boxer asked. “How can you tell?”
“You’re not getting any more defined.” Ranma pointed out. “If anything, you’re getting flabbier. That tells me you’re not following the diet I laid out.”
“Captain...” several of the other members murmured, with Ishida looking especially betrayed.
“Of course I am, I’m just a little bit bigger is all. A growth spurt!” Kosaku tried to deflect the ire of his teammates.
“Your midsection doesn’t grow like that.” Ranma snapped, pinching one of the flabbier bits.
“Owowowowowowowowowowoww!” Kosaku chattered in pain.
“Sorry, but I gave you a chance to turn this around on your own and you repaid me by failing at an easy task.” Ranma said, shaking his head. “I can see everyone else wants to be part of this club and wants to box. I’m not entirely convinced you do.”
“Boxing is the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do in my life!” Kosaku stood up for himself.
“Then lose the weight Hatanaka! I’m not going to keep gifting you chances.” Ranma said, narrowing his eyes. “If this trend continues, you can count losing your captaincy as the least of your worries, you won’t even be in this club anymore!”
“C-Chairman...” Kosaku turned white with fear.
“Nobody in this club wants to see you thrown out.” Ranma said, trying to appeal to the guts within the boxer before him. “And if you want to be a pro boxer? You can’t be failing to make your weight as a high schooler. The path you’re on needs real dedication, so either give it what it needs or get off the path.”
He then took Kosaku’s hand and held it up. “You’ve got potential, you’ve got power. You just need guts.” He balled it into a fist with his other hand, Kosaku keeping it held up after. “Guts! That fire in your belly! Use that to fight through this, and you’ll be fine!”
Kosaku stared back at Ranma, seeing the fire in his own determination, and nodded. “R-right, Chairman!”
Practice proceeded after that at double-time, spurred on by Ranma’s fiery words. Ishida and the rest certainly seemed to step up and push Kosaku forward, working their endangered captain beyond what seemed normal. At the end of the day, though, the Captain of the Boxing Club was tired, agitated, and above all hungry.
And so it was he left the school in something of a mood. He shadow boxed along his route to try and keep his ire down but it did no good. He knew he had to lose weight, especially if it was commanded by the guy in charge of all clubs for the guys. He knew these things and yet...
“Old man, one taiyaki, extra red bean jelly!” Kosaku ordered at a taiyaki stall not far from Furinkan.
The taiyaki chef looked over and grinned. “Damn Kosaku, back at it again with the taiyaki!”
Kosaku slapped some money down on the counter. “I had a huge day, so I think I’ll take two!”
Ah, the light pastry did wonders for his mood, and he tucked it away in record time, almost not even realizing he had brought the thing in the first place. The rush of sweet bean paste and flaky pastry ebbed quickly, however and as he resumed his shadow boxing he was thinking hard again. How was he going to lose weight? He had tried so hard last week and…
“Excuse me! Can I get a curry bread?” Kosaku ordered from another food stall.
Mmmm... the warmth of the bread and the curry just seemed to lift his cares away. His weight was no big deal, all he’d have to do is just work harder, and it’d all come off. No sense in-
“Oh! My favorite rice crackers are on sale! Lucky!” Kosaku cheered as he walked past a convenience store.
He continued his march home, munching on the crackers without a single care now. In fact, he was looking forward to the next few stops now. What was there ever for him to worry about? He just had to punch his way out of a bad situation.
“One jumbo pork ramen with an egg!” Kosaku ordered at the ramen stand just blocks from his house.
That sure hit the spot, extra protein meant extra power for fighting the weight. Maybe a bit more protein wouldn’t hurt, he decided as he left the ramen stand, the bowl polished. And so…
“One Oyakodon and one Gyudon please!” Kosaku said, stopping at the don shop not too far from the ramen place.
He was almost full, for now anyways, but he couldn’t imagine finishing his meal-run home until he got some… wait… where was it?
“Wait, wasn’t it around here?’ Kosaku asked, looking around for a particular stand. It was just the greatest thing ever! Did she move…?
His answer was yes, but he needn’t despair, because there it was in all its glory right outside the apartment building he called home: Ukyo’s Okonomiyaki Yattai and it was right outside his house.
“Hey there champ!” Its proprietor, young woman named Ukyo Kuonji, greeted him. “I figured I’d save you a lot of trouble of finding my cart every afternoon and just set up out here!”
Ukyo was a handsome young woman, her long brown hair was done up in a nice ponytail, her jacket was tight around her rather ample chest. She wore an all-too short skirt with leggings that would seemed to adhere to some “golden ratio”. On her own she was a dynamite package, throw in her incredible cooking skills and it was easy to understand why there was a sign requesting no marriage proposals.
“K-Kuonji-san! I thought I was going to have to go a day without your okonomiyaki!” Kosaku wailed with tears in the corners of his eyes.
“That’d be hell wouldn’t it?” Ukyo asked with a snicker. “What’ll be? I’ll make it fresh.”
“Shrimp, pork belly and octopus, plus extra sauce.” Kosaku ordered his favorite, er, well one of his favorites. She could probably just fry the batter without anything else and he’d eat a hundred of them.
“Coming right up,” she replied, getting to work as fast as she usually did. It was amazing the speed with which she could work, but Kosaku had long since given up figuring it out. It only took a minute for her to have the batter and all the fixings ready and soon the okonomiyaki was sizzling away on the hot plate of the yattai.
“Smells good.” He was understating his reaction a bit, what with the drool pouring out of his mouth.
“Well smelling is free, eating is another matter,” Ukyo said with a bit of a cheeky smirk on her face.
“I always make sure I have enough for everything on my way home, that goes double for you.” Kosaku was quick to reassure her.
“I know how you get around food Hacchan,” she replied. “I don’t want to beat up my number one customer because he ate first and immediately got amnesia.”
“Fine fine, I get it.” He complained but complied, putting the required 310 yen on the counter.
She took the money and flipped the okonomiyaki. She grabbed the squirt bottle of sauce she used and gave it a shake, getting ready to finish it up. Within the next minute, a flurry of movement almost obscured the finishing touches before she knocked it up into the air to perfectly catch it on a plate. Okonomiyaki sauce, mayonnaise and a few bonito flakes were added before she put it down in front of him.
“Oooooh!” Kosaku was amazed no matter how many times he had seen it. Another sniff confirmed that it was positively divine smelling. He couldn’t wait anymore! “Thanks for the food!”
As he began to tear into it, Ukyo folded her arms. “You’re extra ravenous today, huh champ? That slave-driver of a chairman picking on you?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe!” Kosaku replied. “He’s actually doubled my training. I’m barely going to be able to walk home… this time next week.”
Ukyo gave him a reassuring smile. “You’ll have one heck of an appetite worked up though, right?”
Kosaku, stuffing his face, found himself looking forward to being that hungry, if only to satisfy it. “Sure will, I’m definitely working on making weight.”
Hearing that, Ukyo frowned. “Hey, if you’re trying to make weight, shouldn’t you not be eatin’ like you do?”
Upon hearing that, Kosaku looked like he was having trouble swallowing. He managed to recover, however, and coughed a bit. He smiled weakly.
“I haven’t eaten all day!” He immediately replied. “Like I said, that Chairman of mine is a slave driver! I’m probably going to skip dinner tonight, too.”
That appeared to flatter Ukyo, who smiled cutely. “Aw geez, you’re making it sound like I’m the only meal you need there, champ!”
“Would it be wrong if you were?” Kosaku asked.
Ukyo laughed. “Not at all! I’ll be happy to support you from here in!” Her look became slightly chiding. “You’d just better make that weight, you hear?”
Kosaku nodded and headed for the door to his apartment. He looked back and waved to Ukyo “You can trust me, Ucchan. I’m going to beat that weigh-in with flying colors!”
“I’m cheering you on, Hachan!” Ukyo called back.
As he turned and headed through the door, Kosaku wiped the sweat from his brow and swallowed anxiously. He didn’t want to lie to Ukyo like that… but… he was hungry! As long as he passed the weigh-in next week, he was going to be just fine. He was going to lighten up his food intake, triple his routine, and do everything he could to avoid Ranma until he was at Flyweight.
With that resolve in mind, he went into the elevator to ride up to his apartment. He was already looking forward to what his Mom had ready for dinner.
This was going to be easy, he thought. Seven days was enough to do this.
|Only Saints Have Patience|
If there was one thing Katie learned from her uncle, it was taking the good with the bad and finding a way to eliminate the bad. While not exactly an easy task in most regards, the danger in this line of thinking was that you had to have a lot more good than bad. And sometimes, when you struggled to find the good…
Well, to call her frustrated was to call a nuclear detonation a minor disaster; rather, a massive understatement bordering on sheer dogged denial of reality. Akane was fine… as long as you didn’t ask her to actually get her to float in open water. Have her stand in shallow water, or hold onto the pool’s edge, or even stand on a platform to keep her above the deep water and she was fine. Problem was, the instant her feet left the bottom, she became a whirlwind of flailing limbs and panic that hit a hell of a lot harder when panicked than when she was actually trying to hit hard.
The First time, she tried to get Akane to swim with a body board. In the ensuing panic attack, she took the board to the solar plexus and had the wind knocked right out of her. Sayuri and Yuka had to fish her out of the water and nearly got dragged in when they saved Akane with a life ring.
Second time, she put Akane in a life vest. Despite the fact that she had floated, she still lost all control, and ended up destroying the life vest, prompting another rescue that got Katie punched in the eye.
Finally, on the verge of giving up, she put Akane in water wings and an inner tube… and she was literally kicked from the pool, along with a lot of water when Akane somehow capsized. It was for that reason Katie was actually sitting on the edge of the pool, her right hand resting over her right eye as she stared at the sloshing water out her left.
Patience was not something Katie had a large supply of, especially in the face of something so simple. If she could just get the girl to stop freaking out, then she’d be swimming in no time. Easier said than done, since it seemed all tips and pointers went out the window even though no one was going to let her drown.
How could this be going so poorly?
Akane was, to be certain, embarrassed beyond belief even as she sat a short distance away with a quiet Sayuri and Yuka standing over her. She had made a fool of herself in front of Senpai and now everything stank like unwashed booty. By all accounts she should be getting this but…
Honestly, she knew all the mechanics for every swimstroke. She had studied them rigorously even though she was a hammer. Just the possibility she could overcome her handicap and swim was a dream but…
Why was it such a nightmare?
“Akane-chan.” Yuka finally said. “I don’t think you need to learn how to swim to assess a captain for us.”
“What?” Akane asked, flabbergasted by this sudden betrayal.
“It’s been four days and you’re nowhere near being elementary school level.” Sayuri said with a gentle tone. “You just seem like you don’t want to swim and if you don’t want to then no one can teach you.”
“You’re wrong!” Akane said, bangs covering her eyes as she tried to hide her shame. “I do want to, it’s just…”
“You’re too scared,” Katie said from her seat near the pool. She was still packing the ghost of the shiner Akane gave her the other day. That said, from hanging out at the pool for so long she was also sporting a tan most fans of the Ganguro trend would die for.
“I’m not afraid!” Akane snapped back hotly. She wasn’t going to take that without retaliation.
“Are you shitting me?” Katie replied, incredulous to the bone. “Don’t even say that, Akaneko. Even with three really good swimmers right there, you completely forget how to function and start attacking everything around you. It’s amazing that I’m the only one who’s gotten beaten up!”
Akane’s face was burning up. “It’s not that easy!”
“Of course it is!” Katie answered right back, frustration overflowing.
“You can swim, you’re not a hammer-” Akane started to shout down her idol.
“Excuse me?! Why do you think I volunteered?!” Katie interrupted, shouting now. “I have the same problem as you, I just learned to compensate for it. Something you refuse to listen to and learn!”
“You… you think I don’t want to learn? That I’m just playing one big stupid joke on everybody!” Akane shouted back.
“Hey hey, calm down both of you!” Yuka tried to cut in.
“Well I ain’t seeing anything that tells me I’m wrong!” Katie ignored her, now focused on venting her frustration. “We should be done with this shit already!”
“Akane-chan!” Sayuri tried this time. “Katie-senpai that’s enough! Cut it out!”
Akane stood up and stormed over to her. “Forget this and forget you too then! Why don’t you just deal with the club then Miss Perfect?!”
Katie rose up in challenge. “Least they’ll have a club president since the Chairwoman doesn’t have the guts for her job!”
That was the breaking point, finally, as Akane saw red. “Senpai, you… you idiot!”
“Whatever Hammer-chan.” Katie snapped. “You should have just told me not to waste my time on you if all you wanted to do was sink.”
“You guys!” Both Yuka and Sayuri screamed, trying to break through the wall of belligerence the two had built.
Akane marched right up to Katie and threw a slap, in her anger forgetting how good Katie was.
Senpai reminded her, blocking the slap and returning one faster than Akane could comprehend. The stinging report echoed throughout the area, Akane rocked back on her heels from the force. No one made a sound, as the two were frozen in their position.
Akane stared, wide-eyed at Katie. With that stinging blow, everything had come right back to level… and she realized just how badly she screwed up.
“Consider that your discipline.” Katie said coldly, before she turned to leave. “Now go fuck off.”
Akane’s mouth moved, but no words came out as the harsh words stabbed her right in the chest.
“Don’t bother showing back up here for training anymore” Katie finished, her tone pure crass, before she addressed Yuka and Sayuri. “Since your Chairwoman is unreliable, I’ll come by practice tomorrow and sort you guys out.”
“Y-yes,” Sayuri quickly said, while Yuka looked back and forth between the two friends, still aghast.
Akane said nothing, just fought back her tears as Katie stormed off.
Where did it all go wrong?
|Failure|
“Hatanaka.” Ranma said, his voice eerily calm.
“Yeah Chairman?” Kosaku said all hopeful like.
“You gained another three kilos.” Ranma said simply.
“I knew I… wait what?!” Kosaku sounded surprised by this. “But I trained three times harder than before!”
“I was with him for his sessions, Chairman.” Ishida vouched for his Captain. “I don’t understand!”
“There’s not much to understand, he’s working hard but he’s obviously not completing the other portion of this.” Ranma said, shaking his head. “He can’t follow a diet. After two weeks of strict training and dieting, he’s gained weight and not muscle.”
“No, Captain…” Shunpei mumbled in despair.
“It gets worse. Your first meet as a club for regionals will be in another two weeks.” Ranma informed them. “Because of this, Hatanaka is being removed as Captain. Ishida, you’re Captain now, Shunpei you’re Vice.”
“No.” Ishida shook his head. “Hatanaka is much better than me.”
“It won’t matter, you’re not going to knock out, you’re going for points. Sakigachi High from is full of speedy boxers, which means Hatanaka needs to be slim enough to handle the speed... if they have any Middleweight boxers at all.” Ranma said, looking at the despairing Kosaku. “You won’t even make weight enough to be allowed to be a reserve.”
“No, no, no,” Kosaku shook his head briskly, tears in his eyes. “I worked so much harder, I did! I… I can’t… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Ranma sighed. “I feel for you man, but you can’t do what is needed for the club or yourself. I’m not going to tell you to give up but you need to face reality. Something is off about you and it’s ruining your dream.”
“But I can’t just give up!” Kosaku pleaded. “One more chance, I’ll lose the weight!”
“I’m not wasting another week on you.” Ranma said with a fierce tone. “You’ve burned the goodwill entirely. You have until tomorrow morning to lose at least half of what you gained. If you fail, you’re benched. If you dare come in overweight tomorrow, you’re out of the club.” He looked at Ishida. “You’re acting Captain for now and if you don’t like it, take it out on the guy who should be in your spot.”
The boxers all gulped at the aura of irritation rolling off Ranma.
“Understood Chairman.” Ishida said, feeling the pressure.
“All right, you guys get to your practice and put Hatanaka through hell.” Ranma said. “Sumo club has a meet in two days against Sakimake High and they’re going to secure their first win in seven years.” He bowed his head. “If you’ll excuse me.”
Shunpei watched Ranma stalk off towards the Sumos. “Way to go Hatanaka.”
“But I worked so hard, I should have lost weight!” Kosaku defended himself.
“I know you did,” Ishida said with a sad sigh. “You’re sparring with everyone today, no real breaks. You have to lose weight Hatanaka! You’re our best chance to win the team regionals!”
Shunpei nodded. “We want to see you back in your rightful seat man.”
“You guys…” Kosaku fought back tears. “I won’t let you down!”
It was after school now and Ranma already knew not to give Kosaku anymore space. He had been burned twice on trusting the boxer and he needed to find out why the hell he was gaining weight after two weeks of heavy training. But he couldn’t do it as himself, it might make Hatanaka paranoid or scare him off working at all because the Chairman was being a creepy bastard.
What a handy thing this curse was, especially combined with his charming good looks and popularity with the girls. RicePony was still a big hit and telling them she had heard how good their costume department was made this disguise super easy to obtain. He almost felt bad but it was for a good cause…
And she had to admit, the purple dress and pink hat looked fabulous on her, thought the purse was overkill even if it did allow her to keep her money and phone handy.
Luckily, she spotted Kosaku before any kind of bad thoughts could pop into her head.
“So this is the way he takes ho–wait, what?” Ranma muttered to herself, as she saw Kosaku stop at a Taiyaki stand. “Well, I can’t blame him a snack.” She whipped her phone out and took pictures of him in the stand.
But that was singular, and Kosaku had bought three taiyaki. She snapped several pictures of him eating.
“Okay, keep calm. As long as that’s it he’s-” She tried to keep her temper in check but Kosaku stopped at a bakery and bought a curry bread. “-not fine at all. I’m beginning to get why he can’t lose weight.”
In Kosaku’s favor, he did skip the convenience store, his favorite rice crackers had gone back up in price.
“Just how much does this guy eat?” Ranma asked herself when Kosaku immediately stopped at a ramen stand and ate a jumbo sized serving with extra eggs. She was reminded way too much of her old man.
Turns out the answer was quite a lot, because he then ate three donburi.
“I’m going to kill him.” Ranma muttered, this isn’t what she had wanted to see. He was turning his back on the club, on the goodwill Ranma had given him and he was turning his back on his word to the President. “I can’t believe this!”
“Hiya Champ!” A very familiar voice rang out from the okonomiyaki yattai right outside Kosaku’s apartment building.
“Ukyo?!” Ranma thought to herself.
“I’m in such dire straights, Kuonji-san!” Kosaku wailed. “I hardly lost any weight and he blew his stack!”
“Why you lying little shit!” Ranma wanted to run over there and beat him down for that but that’d blow her cover.
“Gee Hacchan, you’re supposed to lose weight.” Ukyo admonished him.
“I can’t help it, if I couldn’t have your okonomiyaki I’d die!” He was obviously buttering her up.
“I’m flattered you’d say that Hacchan but no freebies.” Ukyo replied flatly.
“Aww... but I got ‘til the morning to lose some weight! At least before I throw myself into hell have a taste of heaven.” Kosaku pleaded.
“You know the prices.” Ukyo was a hardcore capitalist, she wasn’t moved at all.
“Excuse me!” Ranma approached the cart just then. “I want to order for a friend of mine.”
“Sure thing Missy.” Ukyo said, looking at the redhead. “Somebody’s going to find herself needing a stick to beat off the fellas.”
“Oh gosh, you’ll make me blush!” Ranma giggled. “But anyways, he says he wanted a Mapo Tofu and a Dongo Pork okonomiyaki. As for myself, I want the crab, chinese sausage and crispy pork belly cutlet okonomiyaki.”
Ukyo’s eyes widened at the orders. “Well well, your friend sounds like they got tastes similar to my best friend.” She grinned in a less than wholesome manner. “Sure a slim thing like you can handle all that meat?”
“Maybe, maybe not.” Ranma said, pulling out a 1000 yen note, alongside a hundred fifty in coins. “This is enough right?”
“On the nose hon.” Ukyo said, taking the money. “Your order will be coming up shortly.”
“Stupid line cutters.” Kosaku muttered without much heat. In fact, he was blushing mighty fiercely now.
“Hatanaka Kosaku-kun.” Ranma whispered, Ukyo’s hearing being blocked by all the cooking and prep work.
“Do I know you?” Kosaku asked, before he realized she already knew his name. “How do you know my name?”
“The Chairman sends his regards.” Her words sent ice shooting through his veins. “I’m a friend of his, but you won’t need to learn my name.”
“Why?” Kosaku sounded confused. And depressed he might have struck out with such a hottie.
“Because I’ve been following you from your school.” Ranma retorted. “I saw the taiyaki, the curry bread, the ramen and the dons. You’re a glutton and not just for punishment.”
“I… I…” Kosaku’s brain crashed in terror. If this girl was related in some way to the Chairman.
“Please, eat all the okonomiyaki you want. Your diet has been rescinded.” Ranma said, shaking her head. “I texted him before I ordered and you’re expelled from the Boxing club. Savor his mercy in not expelling you from the school entirely.”
“W-w-w-wait a second! Expelled?!” Kosaku gasped.
Ranma pulled up a picture of Kosaku eating a taiyaki. “Is this behavior conducive to losing weight?”
Kosaku stared uncomprehendingly at the screen. “Is… is that me?”
“Yes.” She flipped to him eating a pork cutlet don. “So is this.”
“No…” Kosaku slumped forward in his stool, looking like a certain boxing Joe.
“Rejoice, you can pig out all you want. No more mean Chairman.” She smiled sunnily, but her tone was winter cold. “No more boxing, no more exercise and no more dreams of being World Champ. Just retire to eat since that’s all you seem to want.”
“Hey, you’re not picking on Hacchan are you?” Ukyo called, putting the finishing touches on all three okonomiyaki.
“No, I’m just conducting business for a friend.” Ranma said, turning her bright smile on Ukyo. Her tone was borderline flirtatious as she continued. “Here, to make up for depressing him, give him the Lobster special.” She paid out the 325 yen price tag as she took the three, two in take-out boxes and a paper plate with her third, okonomiyaki. “Have a nice day.”
Ranma took the food and left, her face grim with anger. “Hatanaka Kosaku... I misjudged you terribly. I’ll have to apologize to Kodachi-san tomorrow.”
“There there Hacchan.” Ukyo said as she collected the money. “Even if she was being mean she bought you a Special.”
“Ah, so she did.” Kosaku regained some color, but he still looked like he straddled the line of death.
He received the Lobster special a few minutes later and found the flavor wasn’t diminished even by his tears.
|Let the World Come Crashing Down|
Misao was relaxing with a cup of green tea when Katie came storming into the apartment, mad as a hornet. The chubby internet goddess said nothing, having taken the way the Bae had come rampaging in that she didn’t desire any back sass. Which was fine, as Misao had a Debrief to do soon so she was saving her voice.
“Ugh, what is wrong with her?!” Katie ranted, throwing her bag down. “All i do is spend my time teaching her to swim and she has the audacity to act like that!”
Over her ragged breathing, only the sound of Misao’s replacement equipment humming along was heard.
“I mean, I get it! It’s embarrassing!” Katie looked at Misao, gesticulating wildly. “Nick humiliated the fuck out of me before he tried to teach me. You try being in public as a grown man laughs mockingly at you, serenading everyone within earshot of how you sink like an anchor! At least I was nice about it!”
Misao arched an eyebrow and sipped her tea.
“Don’t look at me like that!” Katie snarled, before she blew out a sigh. “So yeah, I fucked up okay? But it’s not like she didn’t either! All she had to do was listen and not freak out like a five year old tangled up in her blanket!”
Misao examined the cup for a second before she craned her head at Katie.
“Hey, don’t take her side damn it!” Katie said, feeling a little nervous now. “Okay, so maybe I didn’t think about it well enough, I thought she’d listen to me without issue, yeah? It’s just she flails around like she’s… afraid of the…”
Misao looked interested in what Katie’s revelation was, but not enough to speak. She did sip the tea however.
“OH MY GOD!” Katie screamed in English. “I’m so fucking dumb! That’s it, that’s it! I got it I got it! Thanks so much, really! You’re such an amazing amount of help on top of being drop dead sexy.”
Misao smiled brightly, before she gave Katie a look that conveyed something.
“Oh yeah, I do have to apologize…” Oh that was gonna be awkward. “But I got it and she’ll be swimming in no time!” Katie hugged her plump little Bae, kissed her on the cheek, and went skipping off to the bedroom
Misao looked happy, before she counted down silently for the door to pop open again.
“The nerve of that asshole.” Ranma, still a girl and carrying two okonomiyaki boxes. “He’s all, ‘Shucks Chairman, how am I gaining weight while eating like a fuckin’ pig!’?!” She stomped to the kitchen to put them up.
Misao hummed and waited, she had enough tea to get through this without a word.
“Give him two weeks and he’s still fucking off like he doesn’t want to be a boxer.” Ranma ranted, still rather pissed about being chucked under the bus by Kosaku, “All his fake ass tears and shit, pulling down the Boxing club for what? Just some food?!”
Misao pursed her lips and looked at the redhead expectantly.
The glare worked and Ranma stopped running around in an angry circle. “Okay, okay, so I took too much of a hands off approach but he seemed like someone to rely. LIke a stand-up guy! I just… I just wanted to believe in someone for once you know? Is that so wrong?”
She pulled out her phone and pulled up a picture of Kosaku eating a taiyaki. “But look at him doing this!”
Misao took the phone and looked at the picture, noticing something that might have bypassed Ranma’s notice. Zooming the photo in, she handed the phone back.
“What…?” Ranma asked in confusion. She looked at the picture and gasped at what she saw that Misao had zoomed in on Kosaku’s face, revealing dark circles around his eyes. “Those bags! But… that doesn’t make any sense. If he’s just goofing off, he should be plenty rested.”
But he wasn’t. Kosaku looked exhausted, which matched up perfectly to how hard the others said he’d been working, and even with what Ranma had seen. He was a hard worker, just one with no impulse control when it came to food!
Misao just sipped her tea, nodding sagely.
“Okay, so his appetite is so out of control he isn’t even aware of it.” Ranma was thinking hard about what to do. “So what do I do to get him to stop that?”
Misao put her teacup down and made a pantomime of using a wok.
“I can’t just be his personal chef to cater to his needs. I can’t hire one for him either, if that happens then everyone else will want one, and that’s just asking for trouble. No, it has to be someone who he knows and would be willing to…” Ranma brightened as she realized something. “That’s it! I know someone who can do it!”
Misao found herself lifted off her seat and pulled into a bearhug.
“Thanks Misao-chan! You helped me figure this one out.” Ranma smiled and for a moment, looked to be the sun. “I gotta practice! And get in contact with Ukyo, she’s the key!”
She kissed her on the cheek before he bounded off to get some hot water.
Misao finished the last of her tea and sighed in relief. She solved everyone’s problems and didn’t need to say a word.
Though, she was now kind of curious about who Ukyo was.
|Sister, Sister|
When Akane came home from school, she didn’t even announce her return, prompting a curious Kasumi to actually come out from the living room. She hadn’t even gotten a chance to offer a greeting, when she caught a glimpse of Akane’s sadness as she slowly made her way up the stairs.
That was worrying; for the past week Akane had come home frustrated and angry, not sad. She turned and looked over to Nabiki, who was in the middle of doing homework. “I think something happened with Akane-chan at her swimming lessons.”
“Something good?” Nabiki asked without looking up from her homework.
“No,” Kasumi said, putting emphasis on her worried tone.
Nabiki set down her pencil and heaved a sigh. “Oh God damn it, Katie.”
Overhearing the exchange, an especially petulant Genma seethed a bit and folded his arms as he stared down at the shogi board. “Trouble in paradise, I see?”
Nabiki turned a dry look onto Genma, but actually refrained from responding to his snipe with the artillery barrage she wanted to unload on him.
Kasumi was not nearly as merciful. “Saotome-san, if you would please mind your business?”
Soun, who had been studying his next three moves (he would win in the next move) glanced up from the board, an eyebrow arched, as he watched his long time friend and rival recoil from Kasumi’s stern words.
He then looked over to the elder two of his daughters. “Why don’t you two go speak with her?”
Nabiki was already getting up on her feet to just that, but was grateful for her Dad to be so understanding. To Kasumi, she gestured towards the stairs with a nod. “Let’s go, Kasumi.”
“Right,” Kasumi replied before both made their way upstairs.
As they left the room, Genma gave Soun a sour look. “You should be more involved with their social lives, Tendo.”
“As much as you were with Ranma’s?” Soun answered as he moved his piece into a position Genma could not escape.
Genma stopped, and lowered his head as a bitter snarl left his lips.
“That’s what I thought,” Soun calmly said.
Genma flipped the shogi board into Soun’s face.
Upstairs, Kasumi cracked open Akane’s door without announcement, and then stepped in to find her curled up on her bed, facing the wall. With Nabiki right behind her, the eldest of the three sisters approached Akane, who curled up in a tighter ball and shuffled closer to the door without looking back at either of them.
“Akane-chan,” Kasumi said as she sat down next to her. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I messed up,” Akane said quietly.
“Swimming lessons finally stopped being fun, huh?” Nabiki asked.
“They were never fun,” Akane said. “They never worked. It kept getting worse and worse until we just… we blew up at each other and had a fight.”
Kasumi was about to ask just how bad the fight was, when she heard Akane sniffle. Leaning over a bit, she could see Akane’s pillow was damp where she had cried into it quite a bit.
Nabiki surprised both of her sisters by letting out a gentle little laugh. “Well, I guess it had to happen eventually. The two of you can’t always be in 100% agreement all the time.” She moved past Kasumi and kneeled by Akane’s head. “But you know, it doesn’t really matter who’s at fault for this little row right?”
“Huh?” Akane didn’t quite get it yet. Mainly because this was the point Nabiki started making fun of her.
“It was going to happen, whenever you run into a wall you crash and explode,” Nabiki pointed out. “Then you stomp off and pretend it never happened until you get it into your head that you want to run headlong into that wall again.”
Kasumi found herself agreeing. “Like all of the times you wanted to learn to cook… and it never worked out.”
That was a low blow, and Akane let out a harumph.
Nabiki then shone some light on that. “But you’ve been getting better at cooking since Ranma started releasing those videos right?”
Akane nodded slightly. “Yeah.”
Nabiki grinned at her little sister. “So isn’t it only natural for you to realize you can get better at swimming too?”
Akane turned over and stared at Nabiki for a second before she blew out a sigh. “I guess you’re right. but it’s hard. She tried so hard to help but I mess up and she keeps getting hurt and angry and… I didn’t want to do it anymore and have her hate me.”
Kasumi, who had been watching quietly, took that moment to interject. “Come now, Katie-chan wouldn’t be that cruel. She may have a lot in common with Nabiki-chan but she wouldn’t hate you.”
“Hey, that’s fine you know?” Nabiki said, looking up at the ceiling. “You don’t want to look stupid in front of your hero right? If someone I admired was being made privy to one of my embarrassing secrets, I’d just about die.”
Akane laughed a little, already feeling a little better. “You’re right. It was dumb of me to think I could only share with Katie-senpai my good qualities.”
“I’m sure Katie-chan would want to know more than that about you.” Kasumi pointed out. “She doesn’t seem to be the kind to leave a mystery unsolved if she could help it.”
Nabiki stood up and stretched. “In any event, don’t you think that quitting would be worse than you constantly hitting her?”
Akane sat up, as that revelation put the fight into proper perspective. For all of their back and forth during it, the absolute worst thing that Akane did was give up. She told Katie that this was a waste of her time, and that all her help wasn’t worth it.
“Neechan,” she murmured, reaching over and pulling Nabiki into a firm hug. “Thank you.”
“It’s a little early for that, but if you really wanna thank me.” Nabiki said, after she pulled back. “Don’t just apologize and don’t be a passive aggressive bitch. That’s my thing and I’ll charge you for stealing it. You’re old enough to be mature and admit your fault in this.”
“That’s right.” Kasumi said, smiling at Akane. “When it’s all over, you’ll realize that this little tiff is nothing at all.”
“You’re her precious kouhai after all.” Nabiki said, ruffling Akane’s hair. “Just don’t give up, and you’ll both be fine.”
It was in that moment of sisterly affection that Akane realized two important things. One, both of her sisters were actually supporting her in their own ways about this matter and neither put the blame squarely on her. And secondly, was that both Nabiki and Kasumi really cared about her friendship with Katie–not just that they were worried about the boat being rocked by the senpai/kouhai dynamic falling apart.
Akane smiled, it helped her so much to know that. “I’ll give her a call right now.”
Right as she said that, her phone rang, and when she pulled it from her pocket, she found that it was Katie. “Oh!”
When she answered it, Katie was uncharacteristically excited. “Akaneko! I’m sorry for flipping out at you, but I figured it out! I know how I can get you to swim! Come to the pool tonight after sundown!”
Hearing that, Akane beamed. In relief and excitement. “O-okay! I’ll be there!”
|No Fear When You’re With Me|
It was after sundown and Akane was running as if the most important thing in her life was about to happen. Sure, she wanted to swim and conquering the kitchen was something she was in the middle of, but the song in her heart wasn’t about either of those. It was because Katie didn’t mind her blowing up earlier. They fought and Senpai still wanted her around, still felt like helping her. She had her bathing suit on underneath the shirt and shorts combo she wore, not exactly fashionable but she was in a hurry.
They could fight and laugh it off later, ignoring whatever went wrong. Her lungs burned but she didn’t care. Katie was waiting for her, Katie was still there for her. That girl, her hero was there for her and she wasn’t going to keep being an uncool dork about feeling embarrassed.
She was gonna learn to swim damnit!
As she reached the pool, its waters illuminated by the fluorescent lights that ran along its sides, she heard a strange sound, like heavy waves rolling driven onto shore by a powerful storm… that ended with a dull but loud bang. Her run petered to a jog, and then to a slow stride as she heard the sound again, the shockwave loud enough that she wondered if she had felt the ground beneath her feet move.
“What the…?” Akane walked slowly towards the pool’s edge at the relatively shallow end, only to stop when she heard the rumble, before a great wall of foaming water sprayed up. The churned water fell like rain upon Akane, and she stared down in amazement at the completely white water of the shallow end.
She then looked towards the deep end, and her eyes widened.
Katie, wearing her wet suit, was standing at the bottom of the deep end of the pool, furiously punching into the water, shadow-boxing against the resistance offered by the weight of the pool upon her body.
Her blows were machine gun quick, and even though she was far underwater, Akane could see trails of bubbles form around her fists, scattering away and drifting upward with her movements. She was moving so fast, it was almost as if she were boxing in the air itself.
Then, Katie’s barrage of punches ended with a mighty straight punch, a huge bubble appeared, becoming a tunnel that advanced through the deep water up towards the surface and to the shallow end of the pool. Then it reached the surface, and with a roar the water of the pool parted, the waves crashing to the sides and front of the pool. The bang that Akane had heard sounded, the bubble crashing into the wall of the pool.
Through the curtain of water that came up, Akane stared in awe of Katie, now standing between the walls of water with her outstretched fist. As the walls began to collapse, she looked up and saw Akane standing there with a look of amazement. Smiling back, Katie took a deep breath as the water came crashing back into her with the roar of thunder.
Akane nearly fell backward, just amazed at what she’d seen, but stood still long enough for Katie to make her way up to the shallow end of the pool and surface.
“Akaneko!” Katie waved her over once she arrived. “Good timing!”
“What was that?” Akane asked.
Katie grinned. “Something you’ve seen before, and what I’m going to teach you to do.”
“Something I’ve seen…?” Akane searched her memory. When did she see this before?
Katie decided to let her off easy. “Back when I beat Ranma, do you remember?”
It snapped to mind immediately, the floor cracking and splitting between the time Katie had hit Ranma and Ranma actually hitting the floor. “I remember it now!”
Katie nodded. “It’s my Uncle’s signature move that he passed on to me, and one that I want to pass to you. And to do that, is to learn how to move underwater like you would in the air.”
Katie backed up. “For that… I’m not going to teach you how to sink like a stone.”
“I can do that.”
“Without freaking out,” Katie added with a smirk. “So get up on out those clothes and get in the pool, we’re doing this now.”
“Right...” Akane gathered her breath, even as she stripped off her outer clothes. “I’m ready.”
“Gather yourself and then I’ll help you in.” Katie said, patiently as though she had never lost it. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like shit earlier, I guess I was just so jazzed in being able to share this with you that… I forgot you ain’t me.”
“It’s... fine.” Akane said, she had paused to gauge what to say. “I wasn’t being helpful and if someone I was training was being bratty I’d blow up at them, too.” She smiled for effect.
“Glad we’ve got that out of the way.” Katie said, smiling as well. “Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.” Akane said, sitting down on the pool’s edge.
“Just relax,” Katie advised as she took her kouhai’s hands in her own. “I’m here for you. Even when I let you go, I’m going to be right here to help you. I’m not going to let you get hurt again.”
The determination in Katie’s voice made Akane’s heart lurch. “Senpai…”
“I shouldn’t have lost my cool like that.” Katie said, squeezing Akane’s hands. “You’re doing your best, and from now on I’ll be doing mine.”
“I’m sorry for blowing up at you too,” Akane said gently as she squeezed Katie’s hands back.
“It’s nothing to be sorry over.” Katie replied. “Now I’m going to make this super easy for you, okay? When you go in the water, don’t let go of me no matter what. Don’t worry about the water, don’t worry about not feeling the floor under your feet, just hold on tight and focus everything on me. Got that?”
Nervous, but every bit as determined, Akane nodded. “Okay.”
“Start now,” Katie advised her. “Like you did against Shampoo, push away everything else… and just focus on me.”
Akane nodded and stared at Katie until slowly, but gradually, the world began to fall away. The world above the level of the pool’s fence grew dark and faded to black, before the fence itself was consumed. Then everything else vanished… until there was just Katie floating in a pool of light before her.
“Come on in, the water’s nice,” Katie assured her with a smile.
“Okay,” Akane said, before she shuffled forward.
Katie nodded, and pulled Akane forward. She slipped off the pool’s edge and into the water.
Right away, Akane dropped, slipping under her head Immediately the terror and the instinct to fight against this fate flared to life, but before she could thrash or kick she felt Katie’s grip clamp down on her hands, and then suddenly she was yanked up to the surface and into a strong embrace, Katie pulling her tight against her while kicking with her feet, treading water in place.
“I told you I got you,” Katie whispered gently to Akane as the younger girl kept attempting to thrash in her arms.
Held in place like this, Akane’s struggles finally ebbed to squirms, and then ceased as Katie squeezed her a little tighter.
“We’re going over to the middle of the pool.” Katie said, explaining what they were about to do. “Our first order of business is to get you to stop panicking when you sink. So, you’ll get a deep breath, let yourself go to the bottom, and then you’re going to spring off the bottom to come back to the surface. Once you realize sinking isn’t the end, then we can start training you to swim.”
“I’m ready.” Akane whispered, unsure if it had escaped over the sound of her heart.
“All right, hang on to me.” Katie instructed, as she guided the girl out of the shallow end.
Akane shivered as she felt her feet leave the bottom of the pool, but held back her fear. Senpai was right there, she would be fine. She held tighter to Katie, wary of impeding her movements. She didn’t have to worry, as Katie turned and began to side stroke, pulling Akane along.
“Remember, just look at me and nothing else, got it?” Katie said as she looked to her. “I’m your whole world right now.”
She was, thanks to Akane’s focus.
“R-right…” Akane realized that she didn’t even need to kick. Despite having to hold up her weight, Katie was swimming just fine–this girl who was just as much of a rock as she was.
When she held Katie tighter, pressing her body fully to hers, Katie let out a soft huff and laughed. “That a girl. We’re here in the center of the pool.”
She stopped and put her arms around Akane again, looking her straight on. “We’re going to sink together, all the way to the bottom of the pool, and then when we touch the bottom we’re going to jump back to the surface. We won’t even need to kick if we do it together.”
And even if they couldn’t, Katie was confident she was strong enough to bring them both to the surface.
Akane, having not deviated from Katie’s instructions, nodded as she stared at Katie’s eyes. “Okay.”
“Deep breath now, and hold it.” Katie said, quietly as she waited. “Don’t panic, don’t think about the other times you’ve sank. If you feel yourself panicking, just relax and remember that I’ve got you, okay Akaneko?”
Akane nodded, her face feeling so intolerably warm, before taking a deep breath and holding it.
Katie lowered her grip on Akane to tightly hold her sides, before she stopped kicking and the two slipped beneath the water and to the bottom, a little shy of five meters beneath the surface.
“I’m sinking.” Akane thought, her mind idling now that she was controlling her fear. “It’s so slow now, was it always this speed?” The water usually swallowed her instantly to her old senses.
She touched the bottom, her descent done in a couple seconds. “Stay calm, Senpai is right here. Just focus on keeping calm and remember what to do.”
She opened her eyes, and saw that Katie was watching her face carefully for any sign of panic. Blinking a few times, she marveled at how calm she was despite them being so far down, not aware of the fact that she was every bit as calm.
“Just crouch down a little and push off the pool’s floor. I will be fine, she is with me.” Akane reminded herself, before she saw Katie nod up towards the surface for them to do just that. She crouched with her, waiting three seconds, before she sprang up. With their combined strength, they both easily rocketed to the surface.
“Pah!” Akane gasped as she surfaced and looked around, in amazement. “I… I did it!” She caught her breath, only to run out of it again being excited for her success. “I really did it! I didn’t freak out!”
“You’re damn right you did,” Katie cheered as she hugged and nuzzled Akane. “Your first step towards swimming.”
The close nuzzle sent a jolt through Akane, reminding her that she was being held afloat by someone she admired so much. Not just that, but cuddled with, with no small affection.
“Katie-senpai is so strong…” Akane marveled as they floated there like they were the only people in the whole world–let alone the pool. She wanted to cuddle her right back, rest her chin on her shoulder and hug her tightly.
“So, Akaneko…” Katie then asked her, snapping her out of it. “Want to go again?”
Pulling back, Akane smiled and returned a nod, before both took deep breaths and dipped below the water towards the bottom.
Nabiki and Kasumi, who had followed Akane, watched from the door of the wooden-slatted fence that ringed the pool. The middle of the three sisters was looking fantastically smug, while Kasumi was smiling warmly at the closeness shared between the two friends.
“Ne, Kasumi,” Nabiki said quietly.
Kasumi glanced over at her. “Yes?”
Nabiki was smirking at Kasumi, suggestively. “How long do you think it’ll be, before she goes three for three?”
Kasumi hummed, before she closed her eyes and decided. “I’d say give it another week, or however long it takes for Akane-chan to learn to swim all her own.”
Watching the two friends come back up for air, and hearing Akane laugh brightly at her success, Nabiki decided that timetable worked.
“What a greedy girl,” she mock lamented.
|Rematch|
It was well past dark by the time Kosaku finally ran out of money for Okonomiyaki. He sat on a bench in front of Ukyo’s Okonomiyaki Yattai, paper plates stacked next to him and his expression blank. He’d eaten himself damn near sick, and despite the handsome amount of money she’d made off it, Ukyo was worried about her best customer to date.
“Hacchan, you’re a hard guy to understand,” she said as she stacked and put away her equipment.
Kosaku, halfway between a depressed stupor and a food coma, focused his gaze on Ukyo and just let out a heavy sigh.
“You’re literally the having your cake and eating it too kind of guy. You want to be a boxer, but you ain’t got no drive or discipline.”
He looked aside, sighing again. “It’s just… so good…”
“Hm?” Ukyo hummed back.
“Food… I just… love to eat,” he admitted.
“Well, food is pretty good, I’d say it’s vital to survival even. But, the thing is Hacchan, you got two irreconcilable loves here,” Ukyo went on. “You want to box, but you wanna eat all you want, too. You can’t have both, one’s gonna make the other difficult.”
“Can’t I just be a fat boxer, like Butterbean?”
“Sugar, even Butterbean fought to his weight. You’d just be a fat, slow punching bag that’d never go anywhere in the pros,” Ukyo revealed, driving an arrow into his heart.
“Oh.”
“Besides, you’d have to go to America to even have a chance to make it, and that would mean you’d never have my delicious okonomiyaki ever again.”
That arrow hit him in the stomach. “Ohh… God is cruel.”
“God is anything but,” Ukyo corrected him, “He gives you the strength to continue, you just gotta have the determination to use it.”
“I didn’t figure someone like you for a Christian,” Kosaku said after staring at Ukyo uncomprehending for a moment.
Ukyo shrugged her shoulders. “I picked up a good book worth readin’. Maybe you oughta do the same?”
Kosaku looked down at his stomach. “Are you saying God’s the only one who can help me?”
“He can if you accept the offer,” Ukyo said as she finally finished closing up her shop. “Well, I’m all closed up and I got stuff to do in the mornin’. You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.”
Kosaku acquiesced and rose from his seat. “Are you going to stick around, or are you done with me too?”
“The decent person in me says I ought to not tempt you, while the businessman in me says wring you dry, Hacchan,” she warned him. “But I like to think I’m a little bit of both, so I’m going to stick around and see if I can try to help you out in my own way.”
She just needed to figure out how that would be.
Kosaku managed to smile at Ukyo, and nodded. “You’re a good friend, Ucchan.” He then put on a bigger smile. “You’d make a great girlfriend, too.”
Ukyo gave him a dry look. “Probably not for you though.”
Kosaku dimmed again and sighed. “Yeah, probably…” He turned and trudged over to his apartment, waving back at her without looking. “Later.”
“G’night, Hacchan,” she called back as she watched him close the door behind him.
Once she was alone, she picked up and stowed the cart’s bench, and knelt down to lock it up. The poor guy, he really was torn between his dreams and his desires, but he didn’t have the self-control to overcome the latter. There was only so much she could do to help him, but he needed more than that.He needed a plan, he needed someone who could understand, he needed-
“Aw man, you’re closed? I was hoping to get a freebie.”
Ukyo stopped when she heard the voice of a young man. “Huh? I don’t do freebies.”
“Funny, you used to all the time for me,” the young man said as he walked up to the cart.
Ukyo froze for a second once she saw his face, but it didn’t last before a smirk split her face. “Well well, today was supposed to be a good day and up walks trouble.” She recognized him immediately as her old friend and number one troublemaker. “So what do you want… Saotome Ranma?”
“I got a business proposition for you,” Ranma said, a serious look on his face. “I’ve heard it through the grapevine you got a customer with a bit of a problem.”
Ukyo was unmoved, she just wanted to close up for the night. “You have huh?”
“Let’s just say I’ve come up with an idea that can allow him to feel like he’s eating all the food he wants without jeopardizing his dreams.” Ranma said, glad she had thrown him out. “But you’re the key for this to work.”
“Too busy to do your own dirty work?” Ukyo teased, relaxing when it looked like there was business instead of displeasure.
“I have to be busy, or else I wouldn’t be able to compensate you for the time you need to spend on this.” Ranma reached into his pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper. “If I’m correct in my theory, this recipe will be all you need to help curb his problem.”
Ukyo took the paper and read it. “...Interesting. You come up with the weirdest shit sometimes Ranma.”
“What can I say? You’ve always brought that out of me... Ukyo.”
Looking at the paper and the things listed, Ukyo closed her eyes and let out a bit of a chuckle. “Sure, I’ll do it… but I want something in return, right?”
She then opened them, giving him an intense look. “You know what I want.”
Ranma nodded, before he gave her a smile and held out his arms. “It’s all yours.”
Ukyo’s intense look was joined by a devious smile.
“Thanks, sugar.”