Naruto Sexplosion - Chunin Exams I

[Meinos Kaen]

So, I realized why I got stuck writing this. That's because the New Year's felt more like an epilogue than anything else. Hence, let it actually be one and trick my subconscious by continuing the story in another book, so to speak.




"Good morning, sensei!"

"Good morning, Hinata." Kurenai raised an eyebrow, amused at Hinata's energy and spring in her step as she descended upon the training grounds like a butterfly on a field of flowers accompanied by Vivaldi. It was a complete turnaround compared to her self from before the New Year’s break. "I see you had a good week.”

"Hihihihi! Does it show?" Maybe too much, Kurenai thought as she saw the Hyuuga do an actual half-pirouette before coming to a stop in front of the Jounin. She half expected her to sprout a pearl on her forehead. “And I bet you had a great time yourself, sensei!"

"Hmm... Guilty." The red-eyed woman smirked. "Mind sharing?"

"Oh, sensei! You're gonna make me say it..." The usually meek girl was now holding her cheeks and shaking her head, going ‘eeek’ and 'kyaaa'. Kurenai, knowing her maybe better than anyone in the village, deduced that only one thing could have caused such a sudden solar predisposition in Hinata.

"You finally landed some private time with your blonde hunk of whiskered man-meat?"

"YEEEEEES!" Jounin reflexes allowed Kurenai to protect herself from the volume of Hinata's earsplitting shrill cry. So she had seen right. Either by prodding or complicated planning, someone had finally had Hinata get laid by Naruto. But as she thought this, Hinata’s beaming face changed into a small pout. "Although... The first time was not exactly private."

"Hmm?"

-I-
​

"Ino, darling... Are you alright?"

"... Yes." Even with an affirmative answer, Ino’s mother retained her worry. Her daughter had been in this catatonic slash contemplative state for a week.

The blonde genin was currently sitting up in her bed, covers up over her knees staring at the wall in front of her. Ino had been in this state ever since New Year’s, when she had come back around seven AM after a night of intense physical activity, catching her and Inoichi in the act. She had ignored them, muttered a goodnight and went straight to bed but that was par for the course. When she didn’t ask her mother for details the next morning? Now that was worrisome.

“Honey, you’re kind of starting to freak me out… You’ve been cooped up at home for an entire week, without having sex or masturbating… Aren’t you-”

“Mom, I’m so repressed right now that I fear for the physical integrity of my next partner.” Okay, that solved that doubt. “But it’s just… I…” Ino sighed, shaking her head before looking at her mother in the eyes. "Mom, have you ever had sex with people other than dad after marrying?"

"Huh? Of course. Your dad isn't around all day, you know." Mrs Michiru Yamanaka shrugged her shoulders. With how often and randomly the pheromone acted up, there was no way for anyone to keep himself/herself exclusive. Also, the way she saw it, a bit of change every now and then in sex did wonders for the married life. "And don't let me get started on long term missions. You remember that day last year when I sent you to sleep at the Nara's? Well, I organized-"

"Wrong question. Have you ever wanted two men at the same time?"

“As I was saying, when you slept at the Nara’s-”

“Not for sex." That made Michiru pause.

"Hmm... No. I must say that as long as romantic feelings go, I've always been of one mind." The woman admitted. She sighed fondly as she remembered one of her teenage loves. Poor Mikoto. How she ended up... "Do I have to guess that you find yourself in a Takewaki Kuno situation?"

"Not sure who that is, but... Well..." Ino stared at the giant Sasuke's poster plastered to the wall in front of her. Should she put another one next to it featuring an idiot with blonde hair? "Sasuke-kun is Sasuke-kun, but... I'm 100% certain that no one will ever top the person I've been with last night when it comes to mind blowing, soul shattering, nirvana inducing, hot, steamy, raunchy intercourse." The adult woman actually blushed at that. More because her daughter had never been one for such language than the mental images, but- "Also, I’m bi. It was me, him and another girl. Looks like I love eating pussy.”

Okay. Now also because of the mental images. Those were her genes, alright. "... Ino, honey, you know you can tell mommy everything, right?" She was already feeling the need, might as well get in the mood.

-I-
​

"Hmm... Good thing today we meet in the afternoon." Naruto moaned out loud as he brushed his teeth.

"Rough night, brat?" Zabuza asked from his seat on the toilet, newspaper and all. He either didn’t believe in bathroom privacy or he believed in time optimization.

"You don't know the half of it." Naruto gargled and then spat water and toothpaste. "I don't think I've ever met anyone as enthusiastic as Hinata. She actually looked more energetic when we finished, but we slept two to three hours max. What's up with that?"

"Women are strange creatures." The missing nin turned a page of the newspaper. "Got the marks to prove it."

"Found a party last night, didn’t you?” Zabuza shrugged.

“Eh. I just got used to the local tradition.” Rolling his eyes, Naruto left the bathroom and failing to find the will to wander into his bedroom again, he plopped down on the couch. "Thanks for breakfast, Haku."



"It was my pleasure, Naruto-san." Haku said as she dried her hands, done with the dishes. She couldn’t help but chuckle at Naruto's tired frame. "Most people would look cheerful after a long night with an enthusiastic pretty girl."

"No complaints about that, but I never ever met anyone able to tire me out." He put his hands on his face, groaning. "I need to metabolize that."

"Hmm, if I may be so humble to suggest a way to help with that..." Haku smiled as she sat near his feet, a hand on his right knee. "We could cuddle."

He blinked and raised his head. "Cuddle?"

"Cuddle." Chuckling, Haku removed her sandals and laid on top of Naruto, wrapping her arms around his body and kissing him on the lips before settling her head on his chest. "I noticed that Naruto-san prefers this kind of physical attention. It happens to be a favorite of mine as well."

"... Probably because of a lack of it in youth.” Naruto got the hint and hugged Haku back, a hand on top of her head, stroking her hair softly. She sighed contently. She perked her head up and laid a series of soft pecks on the blonde’s lips before settling down on his chest again. He smiled. "You know, I kind of like this cuddle thing."

“We can’t always find creative new uses for my kekkei genkai, Naruto-san.” Haku sighed, her eyes closed as she soon joined Naruto in a soft slumber.

 

[Kyryst]

It's Back! Hooray!
I am waiting to see the results of others trying to "penetrate" the "natural" defenses of Konoha.

 

[dwaite860@yahoo.com]

YASSSSSSSSSSSSS

 

[l3fty]

Of great joy and happiness!

It is of time to reread this for xxxth time.

 

[Antimatter]

I wonder how much of this will change plotwise, given how much canon backstory was reveled after this fic started.

 

[Meinos Kaen]

I wonder how much of this will change plotwise, given how much canon backstory was reveled after this fic started.

Well, not much. I mean, LL didn't exactly have something big planned out. It was mostly just writing what he felt like writing, and not in chronological order. There's a snippet that was never revealed to the public from the invasion, for example. It did change a few things that I had in mind at the time I took this over from him but I won't try to change what he's already written. There are ways to integrate the scene with the Fourth, the Kyuubi and Gamabunta with what Canon told us. It just needs a little fix here, a small deviation there...

And speaking of deviations.

"Naruto did?" Kakashi laughed, amused as both Asuma and Kurenai had told him the same thing, alias that his blonde subordinate had been their female student's partner for the night on New Year’s. "Ain’t he moving up the ladder. I expect him to land a Chunin by the end of the year."

"Well, tell him to try and leave them in condition to come to team meetings next time, okay?" Asuma sighed, putting out the smoking button of his latest cig. "From what I hear it, Ino just today got out of whatever spell your student put her under."

“Eeeh… To be fair, Ino’s partners so far haven’t exactly been stellar. And Naruto has been getting lots of experience.” Kakashi sighed, leaning back in his chair as the room filled. The Hokage had organized an impromptu meeting of all the jonins right after lunchtime. “And if you add his genes… I’d wager he’s probably one of the best Genins in Konoha, when it comes to sex.”

Asuma sighed, rolling his eyes. “Remember when the only way to grade a ninja was through his fighting skills?”

“Yeah.” Kurenai stretched her arms above her body, her wrappings made dress doing some interesting things with her curves. “Such boring times.”



“Hear hear!” A random Jounin highfived Kurenai as she passed by and sat a couple sits on her right. Just as she took her seat, the flow of people stopped and the Hokage stepped in.

“A good morning to you all. I hope you enjoyed your break.” The fire shadow said as he took his seat at the front of the room, taking off his hat and adjusting his ever smoking pipe between his lips. “Seems like everyone’s here.”

“Hm. Although, I’m confused, Hokage-sama.” Kakashi leaned back in his chair and stared up at the leader of the leaves. “I kind of have an inkling as to why you’ve gathered us here, but…” Kakashi gave a passing glance to Iruka, who having graduated the latest batch of Genins personally was a dead hint to what the meeting was for. Then he moved it to all the other Jounins in the room. “Why are people without students also gathered here?”

"Good question.” The Hokage nodded. “Yes, we’re here to gather any eventual recommendations for the Chunin selection exams from the Jounin teachers… But what needs to be communicated to all active Jounins is that this edition of the exams will be held in Konoha." Cue incredulous stares from all the Ninja in the room. The Hokage shrugged. "I was as surprised as you are, but there really wasn’t any reason to refuse. It gives our candidates one hell of an advantage.”

“That’s putting it mildly.” Asuma commented, rubbing his chin. “And there’s no way they don’t know about it as well… Why would the other villages propose this?”

“Hmmm… All I can think of is that they want to see how good an invasion force would fare against our natural defenses. You know, them being a miniature war and stuff." Sarutobi commented, exhaling a long trail of smoke from his pipe. “That, or they want to test some kind of countermeasure they created against it.”

"... It does make a distorted sort of sense." Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "But they're really underestimating the pheromone, if that is indeed the case. They think we haven’t tried manufacturing a remedy too? Even nasal plugs only work for a couple days before the pheromone burns through them."

"Well, let them be idiots. At worst, things will just get really interesting." The Hokage giggled. A lot of onlookers rolled their eyes and Iruka cleared his throat.

"So, returning to the most pressing matter, let’s start with the Jounins of the newly minted Genins." Iruka said, observing Kakashi, Asuma and Kurenai. “Any nominations?”

"Hmm... I recommend the whole Team 7, composed by Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto."

"Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto... Check." Iruka commented out loud, taking notes. Kakashi stared in his direction. Iruka raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"No objections? I thought you'd be worried about rookies with so little experience being nominated for the exams."

"Normally I would, but, Sakura is a smart girl. Also, she has a couple tricks up her sleeve. Sasuke has managed to remain caste until now through sheer willpower, so I'm confident he'll be okay. Barring senbons." The two adult ninjas shared a laugh at the memory/report. "And, well, considering what the Chunin grapevine has been sending through..." Iruka laughed and scratched the side of his face. “Let’s just say that Naruto’s extra experience in certain matters will give him an edge.”

“... We’re going to horribly scar a lot of young impressionable genin minds, aren’t we?” Kurenai smiled and crossed her arms over her chest, bringing a finger to her lips. She was a Genjutsu expert, after all. Scarring minds is what she did.

-I-​

At the same time, somewhere in the Wind Country’s large desert, a team of such young impressionable genin minds hailing from Sunagakure were travelling to Konohagakure with their Jounin sensei. But unlike other members of the pool of victims for the twisted minds of Konoha’s examiners, this is a peculiar team.

The first reason for that is that the three genins are all siblings.

The second is that the shortest and youngest member of the group is also the most powerful and dangerous. His name is Sabaku no Gaara, and he’s the Jinchuuriki of Shuukaku, the Ichibi.

The third one is that they’re not aiming to just ace the exams. They have a secret mission to undertake, for which the Exam is just the stage. The aim of the plan is nothing short but to rewrite the assets of power in the Elemental Countries forever.

Fourth, usually the travelling habits of the team see them keeping a stoic silence most of the time, thanks to Gaara’s hair trigger. But ever since they received their mission briefing the redhead had been oddly distracted, out of it. It’s like he didn’t notice what went on around him unless it affected him directly.

"Sex sex sex sex..." Still, it’s doubtful even old Gaara would have managed to make the oldest of the male siblings, the puppeteer named Kankuro, keep his cheer under wraps as he was literally skipping from dune to dune. “Gonna have me some seeex!"

"Kankuro, I swear to god...!" The female sibling, Temari, had had a perpetual blush on her face ever since she discovered where their mission was going to take them. She didn’t know herself if it was because of her brother’s musical antics or… Other things.

"Redheads, blondes, and brunettes too! Get me some pussy is what I'm gonna do!" Baki sighed. It was kind of annoying but he had to give Kankuro some points for his improvised lyrics. "Heaven on earth awaits, where the breasts abound and the booties shake!"

"NO ONE WILL SHAKE ANYTHING, HERE!" Temari finally lost her precarious composure, going completely red in the face. This caused Kankuro to stop and turn to her with a disgusted look on his face. "W-What?"

"Temari, get your mind out of the gutter. Who the hell wants to see your butt shake?"

"N-Not the point!” Temari general skin tone paled even if her cheeks remained bright red. “You can't-"

"Oh, I can and I will, Temari. That's the beauty of it!" With a boisterous laugh, the sand-nib skidded to a halt in front of his sister and patted her shoulders. "Know what I'm gonna do when I get to Konoha. First, I'm going to get a huge boner." Temari gaped and Baki facepalmed. Gaara kept his eyes closed, even if he stopped walking like the other three.

“You… What…”

"Once full horniness level is achieved, I'm going to contain it just long enough for Baki-sensei to get us past the guards and into registration. Then I'm going to strut around till I find a fine piece of ass to lay with, shed these black clothes and have stone-shattering sex, finally getting rid of this pesky virginity. Rise, rinse, repeat. Over and over and over-"

"Stop it..." Temari whispered as she trembled, Kankuro’s face coming ever closer and his eyes going wider and wider.

"OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND O-GACK!" Temari shrieked as Kankuro started literally drooling, grabbed onto her oversized fan and buried him in the sand under their feet, raising a comical cloud of golden powder.

"YOU'RE CREEPING ME OUT!"

"Ptt... Pllt... God, our sand tastes horrible." The story of the other kinds of sand Kankuro has tasted in his life is for another time. He sat up and stared up at a beet red Temari split between rage and frustration as she gripped on her fan. He pouted. “Jeez, Temari, lighten up. It’s not like you’re going to be any diff-”

“ShutupshutupshutupSHUTUP! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT!” Temari turned around, hands on her ears as she started hyperventilating. Baki sighed and helped Kankuro back on his feet while Gaara kept his silence.

“Kankuro, could you at least try to hum instead of singing?" The Jounin asked as Temari tried to get her breath under control. “I fear Temari will have an aneurysm before we even cross the border, otherwise.”

“Hmmm, fiiiiiine…” Kankuro sighed and cleaned his robe from the extra sand. “She will need to come to terms to it sooner or later, though.”

“True. But let that on her own time, not yours.” Baki said and Kankuro acquiesced, starting to hum right after. “Let’s keep going.” He ordered, and Temari slowly strapped the fan back on her back and fell into step behind her siblings and teachers, secretly wishing that she wouldn’t have to deal with ‘that’ on anyone’s time at all.

 

[nixofcyzerra]

Am I the only one that wants a cover of Kankuro's song?

 

[DhampyrX2]

I have to wonder if the Ichibi will shield Gaara from Kyuubi's pheromone on principle, or multiply its effects? After all, he IS a tanuki. Or at least in the form of one.

 

[AJ_Katon]

There is nothing about this fic I don't love.

Would Kankuro's song be like the one Turk sang on scrubs?

 

[halfawannabe2]

Oh my god. I return to this site after 2 years, which was god knows how long after I lost my last account, after re reading Sexplosion, and I find this not two weeks after it's been updated. SCORE!

 

[nixofcyzerra]

Double check the date, dude. It's been a YEAR and two weeks.

Please be more careful in the future; this was quite a letdown.

 

[halfawannabe2]

Dammit, I forgot it's 2017 now. Fuck, sorry for the necro.