Well, I guess that it is a bit complicated to start posting preview here when I reach the 18th chapter, but I wanted to make the fight scene for this chapter as good as I can, so I need peoples feedback and ideas to try to make it as good as I can. So far, I only know of two people on this board who read my story, so if you haven't, go read the first 17 chapters.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2842610/1/
I only have about a third to half of the chapter done so far, but tell me anything you find wrong or that you think should be changed, or even if you just have some ideas that you would like to see, I would consider them.
Shadow Fox
All sides involved in the fight were staring at their opponents, none all that willing to commit to making the first move. It was Shukaku that eventually made the first move as a large wave of sand came towards the area, ready to crush all involved in this mess. Everyone saw the wave of sand coming and move to escape in their own ways. Itachi saw this as an opportunity to try to get things done quickly and get out of this situation.
æWhile Naruto is busy worrying about the sand wave, I can surprise him and catch him in the Tsukiyomi to take him out quickly, then we just need to knock out the Shukaku kid and take care of Orochimaru.Æ And with that thought in mind, he disappeared.
Naruto managed to avoid the sand wave, only to find himself standing before one of the strange guys wearing cloaks. His eyes began to trail up his body, heading towards his face.
æShitÆ Tsunade thought as she noticed what was about to happen. ôNaruto, donÆt look into his eyes!ö She yelled out, hoping that he would be able to react in time. NarutoÆs eyes continued to trail upwards, not having time to react to TsunadeÆs warning. Just as their eyes were about to meet, both Naruto and Itachi saw black as a wall of shadows appeared between them. The wall then surrounded Naruto and disappeared into the ground.
æDamnÆ Itachi thought to himself, æthat didnÆt work like I had hoped. We were so desperate to capture him when we found out that he was alive that we didnÆt look into his abilities. Who would have ever guessed that he had met with and gained the cooperation of the shadow fox? LetÆs seeàI am sure that Naruto canÆt deal with either myself or Kisame, nor can he handle any of the Sannin, so I should deal with him last since he is the one that I will need the least amount of chakra to deal with. Right now, I should probably deal with Orochimaru.Æ And so Itachi went over to fight Orochimaru.
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Meanwhile, Kisame had decided that he would deal with Shukaku. After dodging the large wave of sand, he charged towards Shukaku with his Samehada ready to strike. As he made his way towards Shukaku, a blast of sand erupted from underneath him and began to incase him inside of it.
ôDesert coffinö Shukaku called out as he made the sand began to tighten around his target. He prepared to crush Kisame with the sand, when the sand began to lose its shape and collapse around KisameÆs feet.
ôMy Samehada can absorb chakra, and without the chakra to hold your sand together, you canÆt control it.ö Kisame told the demon.
Kisame charged towards Shukaku again while Shukaku shot air bullets out of his mouth towards the fish man. Kisame dodged the air bullets and proceeded cut through one of his arms of sand, followed by a strike to his head with the flat of his blade, knocking him back a few feet and seemingly unconscious. He smirked and left to continue fighting with the other participants in this fight.
He never noticed the smirk on the face of the Shukaku controlled Gaara, or the sphere of sand forming around him.
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Naruto reappeared from the shadows next to Tsunade as the shadows shifted back into the form of Kyo. Tsunade looked at the boy, wondering what approach she should take to this battle. She noticed that Itachi was fighting with Orochimaru, and that the fish man was fighting with the psycho kid, while OrochimaruÆs assistant was approaching her.
ôShizune, I need you to heal Jiraiya. Naruto, I need you to cover Shizune while she heals Jiraiya. I will deal with OrochimaruÆs assistant.ö She told them. Shizune was quick to comply, while Naruto was a bit reluctant to be taking orders from her, but complied none the less, the situation was troublesome enough as is.
Kabuto noticed Shizune heading towards Jiraiya and decided that he needed to stop her before it was too late. He charged towards her, only to be intercepted by a punch from Tsunade, launching him back quit a distance. Kabuto managed to get up, his wounds from TsunadeÆs punch beginning to heal.
ôMy, that was quite a punch Tsunade-hime, it is no wonder that you are a sannin. However, in my time with Orochimaru and as a spy in Konoha, I managed to learn of your weakness.ö Kabuto spoke to her as he proceeded to slash the palm of his hand and fling the blood at Tsunade. As the blood hit her, she began to tremble as her fear of blood kicked in. She collapsed to her knees shaking as Kabuto walked past her, intending to stop Shizune.
As he made his way towards Shizune, a spike of shadows shot out of the ground towards him. He jumped towards the side to avoid the shadow spike.
ôNaruto-kun, I know all about your abilities too, after all of the time that you spent in time, so you think that we wouldnÆt know all about your abilities?ö Kabuto told Naruto.
Naruto proceeded to charge towards Kabuto and launch a right-handed punch at his face. Kabuto tilted his head to dodge the punch, but was caught off guard when, without pause, Naruto spun around and delivered a kick to his gut with his right leg. Kabuto threw a punch at Naruto with his right hand in an attempt to get some space between himself and Naruto, but that was exactly what Naruto was waiting for. He caught the punch with his right hand and twisted so the he was behind Kabuto and then forced him towards the ground while he drove his left forearm into elbow of KabutoÆs outstretched arm. Naruto could hear the bone snapping as they hit the ground and he pushed off and got to his feet.
Kabuto began to stand, cradling his broken arm as he turned to face Naruto again, and in a surprise move, he let go of the arm that he was cradling, which appeared to be perfectly fine now, much to NarutoÆs surprise.
ôI see that you are surprised Naruto. I must admit that your taijutsu style is indeed impressive, but I happen to be a medic nin, not to mention the fact that I have a healing ability that could almost rival yours. Now, where were we?ö Kabuto asked to a shocked Naruto.
Upon seeing Kabuto up and redy to fight again, Naruto fell back into his loose stance and formed a single hand seal. ôKage Bunshin no jutsuö Naruto called out as five clones appeared beside him.
ôWhat, only five clones? I am insulted. I know that you can create more then that.ö Kabuto said in mock anger. He fell back into a defensive stance as the five clones charged towards him. It was difficult to avoid the barrage of attacks since NarutoÆs taijutsu style had no break in its attacks, but he wasnÆt considered as strong as ôSharingan Kakashiö for nothing. He continuously evaded the assaults, careful to attack since Naruto focused on countering strikes. He had to look for an opening where he could attack without fear of a counter, and he saw that opportunity arise in one of his assailants. He lashed out and struck the opponent, which promptly popped out of existence, leaving a cloud of smoke behind. He barely had time to smirk at his accomplishment before one of the clones appeared through the cloud of smoke and planted a kick to his chin, launching him up into the air.
æWhat is this, does he know the primary lotus, or perhaps he has modified it like Sasuke did.Æ Kabuto thought to himself as he was launched into the air, only to be snapped out of his thoughts as Kyo turned into a shadowed hand and grabbed him in the air, only to launch him back towards the ground, where another of NarutoÆs clones awaited. The clone dropped on to his back and then pushed chakra out of his hands to launch himself towards KabutoÆs falling form. The clones feet connected with KabutoÆs back, sending him back up into the air. Meanwhile, on the ground, the last two clones had prepared for their role, with one of the clones having used his hands to give the clone running towards him a boost into the air. The airborne clone flipped backwards and brought his downward moving foot into the chest of Kabuto, knocking him back down towards the real Naruto, who simply smashed his fist into KabutoÆs chest, the force of the punch multiplying due to KabutoÆs descent.
ôKage Rendan.ö Naruto said as KabutoÆs form slid off of his fist. He looked down at the battered form of Kabuto only to see a plume of smoke before a log was seen where his body should have been. His eyes widened in realization and he tried to dodge to the side, but could not escape the chakra scalpel that plunged into his left arm.
ôWell thatÆs a shame, I was hoping to hit your heart, but you just had to go and dodge, didnÆt you.ö Kabuto said in a mocking manner. ôI must admit that you are a rather tricky opponent, but you overestimate your skills and underestimate mine.ö
Kabuto began to make his way towards Naruto, only to be interrupted by a barrage of needles. He turned to the side and saw Shizune ready to attack.
ôI thought that you were taking care of the pervert?ö Naruto asked her.
ôI have done all that I can to help Jiraiya, now all he needs is a bit of time to recover. Besides, you seemed to be in trouble, so I came to help you out.ö Shizune replied.
ôIt doesnÆt matter, I can deal with the two of you on my own.ö Kabuto said as he charged towards Shizune. Shizune began to quickly form some hand seals and as Kabuto got in front of her, she began to breathe out poisonous gas. Kabuto had planned to jump back to avoid the cloud of poisonous gas, but found himself unable to move. He looked down to see the shadows pooled around his feet, holding his legs to the ground. He was about to try to use his arms to find a way to escape, but he soon found his right arm trapped with a chain wrapped around it. He looked over to see Naruto holding his chain whip with his right hand, holding on as hard as he could.
Only having access to one arm made escaping the poison cloud take longer then he had expected, causing him to breathe in far more poison then he would have liked. He needed some time to get the poison out of his system. He made his way out of the poisonous cloud, only to be met by a hand that sent a jolt through his body. He looked up and saw Tsunade standing before him, who had the blood cleaned off of her by Jiraiya. He tried to move to get some distance between them, but when he tried to jump back, his arms shot out. TsunadeÆs technique had somehow screwed with his muscles, causing this reaction. He struggled to avoid TsunadeÆs attacks while he figured out how to move in his condition. The situation was turning out badly for him, and he as relieved when he heard Orochimaru calling for him. He quickly broke away from the fight he was in and rushed to OrochimaruÆs side.
ôShizune, take care of NarutoÆs arm.ö Tsunade commanded her student as she rushed of towards the battle again. Shizune began to examine NarutoÆs injury and saw that the muscle had been cut between his shoulder and his shoulder blade.
ôI need you to take your shirt off so that I can properly see the damaged area.ö Shizune said with a hint of red on her cheeks and a small smile on her face. Naruto then proceeded to pull his shirt over his head and turned around so that Shizune could see the damaged area. While she examined his wound, he decided to try and make some kind of conversation, and decided that the easiest conversation to have at the moment would be about her battle skills.
ôWow, needles, poison gas, you can get just about anything in your mouth, canÆt you?ö Naruto proclaimed.
Shizune thought about that sentence, then thought about it some more, and then proceeded to blush furiously at the thoughts in her mind.
æBad Shizune, bad naughty Shizune, no thoughts like that in the middle of battle.Æ She thought to herself. She thanked him for complementing her skills and then proceeded to reattach the muscle that had been cut.
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I don't think that I have to worry about anyone on these boards sugar coating things, but to anyone who might consider it, don't. I want honest opinions. Thanks for you time.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2842610/1/
I only have about a third to half of the chapter done so far, but tell me anything you find wrong or that you think should be changed, or even if you just have some ideas that you would like to see, I would consider them.
Shadow Fox
All sides involved in the fight were staring at their opponents, none all that willing to commit to making the first move. It was Shukaku that eventually made the first move as a large wave of sand came towards the area, ready to crush all involved in this mess. Everyone saw the wave of sand coming and move to escape in their own ways. Itachi saw this as an opportunity to try to get things done quickly and get out of this situation.
æWhile Naruto is busy worrying about the sand wave, I can surprise him and catch him in the Tsukiyomi to take him out quickly, then we just need to knock out the Shukaku kid and take care of Orochimaru.Æ And with that thought in mind, he disappeared.
Naruto managed to avoid the sand wave, only to find himself standing before one of the strange guys wearing cloaks. His eyes began to trail up his body, heading towards his face.
æShitÆ Tsunade thought as she noticed what was about to happen. ôNaruto, donÆt look into his eyes!ö She yelled out, hoping that he would be able to react in time. NarutoÆs eyes continued to trail upwards, not having time to react to TsunadeÆs warning. Just as their eyes were about to meet, both Naruto and Itachi saw black as a wall of shadows appeared between them. The wall then surrounded Naruto and disappeared into the ground.
æDamnÆ Itachi thought to himself, æthat didnÆt work like I had hoped. We were so desperate to capture him when we found out that he was alive that we didnÆt look into his abilities. Who would have ever guessed that he had met with and gained the cooperation of the shadow fox? LetÆs seeàI am sure that Naruto canÆt deal with either myself or Kisame, nor can he handle any of the Sannin, so I should deal with him last since he is the one that I will need the least amount of chakra to deal with. Right now, I should probably deal with Orochimaru.Æ And so Itachi went over to fight Orochimaru.
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Meanwhile, Kisame had decided that he would deal with Shukaku. After dodging the large wave of sand, he charged towards Shukaku with his Samehada ready to strike. As he made his way towards Shukaku, a blast of sand erupted from underneath him and began to incase him inside of it.
ôDesert coffinö Shukaku called out as he made the sand began to tighten around his target. He prepared to crush Kisame with the sand, when the sand began to lose its shape and collapse around KisameÆs feet.
ôMy Samehada can absorb chakra, and without the chakra to hold your sand together, you canÆt control it.ö Kisame told the demon.
Kisame charged towards Shukaku again while Shukaku shot air bullets out of his mouth towards the fish man. Kisame dodged the air bullets and proceeded cut through one of his arms of sand, followed by a strike to his head with the flat of his blade, knocking him back a few feet and seemingly unconscious. He smirked and left to continue fighting with the other participants in this fight.
He never noticed the smirk on the face of the Shukaku controlled Gaara, or the sphere of sand forming around him.
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Naruto reappeared from the shadows next to Tsunade as the shadows shifted back into the form of Kyo. Tsunade looked at the boy, wondering what approach she should take to this battle. She noticed that Itachi was fighting with Orochimaru, and that the fish man was fighting with the psycho kid, while OrochimaruÆs assistant was approaching her.
ôShizune, I need you to heal Jiraiya. Naruto, I need you to cover Shizune while she heals Jiraiya. I will deal with OrochimaruÆs assistant.ö She told them. Shizune was quick to comply, while Naruto was a bit reluctant to be taking orders from her, but complied none the less, the situation was troublesome enough as is.
Kabuto noticed Shizune heading towards Jiraiya and decided that he needed to stop her before it was too late. He charged towards her, only to be intercepted by a punch from Tsunade, launching him back quit a distance. Kabuto managed to get up, his wounds from TsunadeÆs punch beginning to heal.
ôMy, that was quite a punch Tsunade-hime, it is no wonder that you are a sannin. However, in my time with Orochimaru and as a spy in Konoha, I managed to learn of your weakness.ö Kabuto spoke to her as he proceeded to slash the palm of his hand and fling the blood at Tsunade. As the blood hit her, she began to tremble as her fear of blood kicked in. She collapsed to her knees shaking as Kabuto walked past her, intending to stop Shizune.
As he made his way towards Shizune, a spike of shadows shot out of the ground towards him. He jumped towards the side to avoid the shadow spike.
ôNaruto-kun, I know all about your abilities too, after all of the time that you spent in time, so you think that we wouldnÆt know all about your abilities?ö Kabuto told Naruto.
Naruto proceeded to charge towards Kabuto and launch a right-handed punch at his face. Kabuto tilted his head to dodge the punch, but was caught off guard when, without pause, Naruto spun around and delivered a kick to his gut with his right leg. Kabuto threw a punch at Naruto with his right hand in an attempt to get some space between himself and Naruto, but that was exactly what Naruto was waiting for. He caught the punch with his right hand and twisted so the he was behind Kabuto and then forced him towards the ground while he drove his left forearm into elbow of KabutoÆs outstretched arm. Naruto could hear the bone snapping as they hit the ground and he pushed off and got to his feet.
Kabuto began to stand, cradling his broken arm as he turned to face Naruto again, and in a surprise move, he let go of the arm that he was cradling, which appeared to be perfectly fine now, much to NarutoÆs surprise.
ôI see that you are surprised Naruto. I must admit that your taijutsu style is indeed impressive, but I happen to be a medic nin, not to mention the fact that I have a healing ability that could almost rival yours. Now, where were we?ö Kabuto asked to a shocked Naruto.
Upon seeing Kabuto up and redy to fight again, Naruto fell back into his loose stance and formed a single hand seal. ôKage Bunshin no jutsuö Naruto called out as five clones appeared beside him.
ôWhat, only five clones? I am insulted. I know that you can create more then that.ö Kabuto said in mock anger. He fell back into a defensive stance as the five clones charged towards him. It was difficult to avoid the barrage of attacks since NarutoÆs taijutsu style had no break in its attacks, but he wasnÆt considered as strong as ôSharingan Kakashiö for nothing. He continuously evaded the assaults, careful to attack since Naruto focused on countering strikes. He had to look for an opening where he could attack without fear of a counter, and he saw that opportunity arise in one of his assailants. He lashed out and struck the opponent, which promptly popped out of existence, leaving a cloud of smoke behind. He barely had time to smirk at his accomplishment before one of the clones appeared through the cloud of smoke and planted a kick to his chin, launching him up into the air.
æWhat is this, does he know the primary lotus, or perhaps he has modified it like Sasuke did.Æ Kabuto thought to himself as he was launched into the air, only to be snapped out of his thoughts as Kyo turned into a shadowed hand and grabbed him in the air, only to launch him back towards the ground, where another of NarutoÆs clones awaited. The clone dropped on to his back and then pushed chakra out of his hands to launch himself towards KabutoÆs falling form. The clones feet connected with KabutoÆs back, sending him back up into the air. Meanwhile, on the ground, the last two clones had prepared for their role, with one of the clones having used his hands to give the clone running towards him a boost into the air. The airborne clone flipped backwards and brought his downward moving foot into the chest of Kabuto, knocking him back down towards the real Naruto, who simply smashed his fist into KabutoÆs chest, the force of the punch multiplying due to KabutoÆs descent.
ôKage Rendan.ö Naruto said as KabutoÆs form slid off of his fist. He looked down at the battered form of Kabuto only to see a plume of smoke before a log was seen where his body should have been. His eyes widened in realization and he tried to dodge to the side, but could not escape the chakra scalpel that plunged into his left arm.
ôWell thatÆs a shame, I was hoping to hit your heart, but you just had to go and dodge, didnÆt you.ö Kabuto said in a mocking manner. ôI must admit that you are a rather tricky opponent, but you overestimate your skills and underestimate mine.ö
Kabuto began to make his way towards Naruto, only to be interrupted by a barrage of needles. He turned to the side and saw Shizune ready to attack.
ôI thought that you were taking care of the pervert?ö Naruto asked her.
ôI have done all that I can to help Jiraiya, now all he needs is a bit of time to recover. Besides, you seemed to be in trouble, so I came to help you out.ö Shizune replied.
ôIt doesnÆt matter, I can deal with the two of you on my own.ö Kabuto said as he charged towards Shizune. Shizune began to quickly form some hand seals and as Kabuto got in front of her, she began to breathe out poisonous gas. Kabuto had planned to jump back to avoid the cloud of poisonous gas, but found himself unable to move. He looked down to see the shadows pooled around his feet, holding his legs to the ground. He was about to try to use his arms to find a way to escape, but he soon found his right arm trapped with a chain wrapped around it. He looked over to see Naruto holding his chain whip with his right hand, holding on as hard as he could.
Only having access to one arm made escaping the poison cloud take longer then he had expected, causing him to breathe in far more poison then he would have liked. He needed some time to get the poison out of his system. He made his way out of the poisonous cloud, only to be met by a hand that sent a jolt through his body. He looked up and saw Tsunade standing before him, who had the blood cleaned off of her by Jiraiya. He tried to move to get some distance between them, but when he tried to jump back, his arms shot out. TsunadeÆs technique had somehow screwed with his muscles, causing this reaction. He struggled to avoid TsunadeÆs attacks while he figured out how to move in his condition. The situation was turning out badly for him, and he as relieved when he heard Orochimaru calling for him. He quickly broke away from the fight he was in and rushed to OrochimaruÆs side.
ôShizune, take care of NarutoÆs arm.ö Tsunade commanded her student as she rushed of towards the battle again. Shizune began to examine NarutoÆs injury and saw that the muscle had been cut between his shoulder and his shoulder blade.
ôI need you to take your shirt off so that I can properly see the damaged area.ö Shizune said with a hint of red on her cheeks and a small smile on her face. Naruto then proceeded to pull his shirt over his head and turned around so that Shizune could see the damaged area. While she examined his wound, he decided to try and make some kind of conversation, and decided that the easiest conversation to have at the moment would be about her battle skills.
ôWow, needles, poison gas, you can get just about anything in your mouth, canÆt you?ö Naruto proclaimed.
Shizune thought about that sentence, then thought about it some more, and then proceeded to blush furiously at the thoughts in her mind.
æBad Shizune, bad naughty Shizune, no thoughts like that in the middle of battle.Æ She thought to herself. She thanked him for complementing her skills and then proceeded to reattach the muscle that had been cut.
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I don't think that I have to worry about anyone on these boards sugar coating things, but to anyone who might consider it, don't. I want honest opinions. Thanks for you time.
)