Star wars - an alternative end to the Sith

[rubyeye]

First time actually starting a thread here. I have no idea what brought about this terrible idea. Crack and a bad joke.

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"Well, my young Padawan, you'll be pleased to know that the Council had decided NOT to expel you from the order."

An (unfortunately) common scene. Anakin was sitting in meditation in his room as his Master returned from the Council meeting. Opening his eyes as he pushed away the disturbing memories, he looked at the pale, haggard and glaring Obi-Wan. The erstwhile Master of Anakin Skywalker had obviously seen better days. It was also quite obvious that he was relying on all the Jedi mind-tricks he knew to even stay conscious.

".....and?"

"...and what?"

"...."

"Oh, and they've forbidden you from EVER experimenting with using neuro-technology and the Force."

A point to note :- each Padawan is encouraged not just to learn from their Masters but also to independently study on their own. In Anakin's case, he decided to map the link between mental connections and the Force; in the hopes of further understanding the impact on mental imaging and applications in the Force.

"But, master - "

"NO BUTS!!!"

Anakin winced. While he often managed to annoy his Master, he rarely managed to upset him enough to lose his temper. Alas, the future Hero with no Fear prodded on.

"But the possibility - "

"THE POSSIBILITIES?!?!? THE POSSIBILITIES??? YOU JUST MENTALLY TRAUMATIZED EVERY SINGLE FORCE SENSITIVE ON CORUSCANT!!! THE ENTIRE COUNCIL WAS BAYING FOR YOUR HEAD!!! THE YOUNGER PADAWANS AND YOUNGLINGS WILL BE HAVING NIGHTMARES FOR WEEKS!!! THE ONLY REASON WE CAN'T BANISH YOU IS THAT THIS HORROR REVEALED THE SITH LORD!!!"

Indeed, Anakin's work managed to cause Darth Sidious to completely lose his head - he charged into the Jedi temple screaming obscenities at the Jedi and their "new weapon"; firing Sith lightning all over the place. While caught surprised and still recovering from the horrors they had witnessed, the entire Jedi Council were able to subdue the raving Sith Lord - due to the fact that he was focusing solely on Yoda; the rest of the Council were able to take him out. He was currently in a cell under Force inhibitors.

"...that wasn't my fault." he whined.

"MASTER YODA WANTED YOU EXECUTED!! MACE WANTED YOUR HEAD HUNG ON THE JEDI TEMPLE WALLS!!! WE HAVE SIXTEEN CASES OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE - INCLUDING THE SITH LORD HIMSELF!!! WE NEARLY HAVE A SITH COUNCIL INSTEAD OF A JEDI COUNCIL - THAT'S HOW BAD THINGS ARE!"

==============
A few hours ago...
"So Ani, can you tell me what we're doing here?"

A complex-looking machine laid on a table with two electrodes hanging out of it. Obi-Wan and Yoda looked curiously at the smiling Padawan. Anakin had asked Kenobi in to show off his latest experiment. A curious Yoda had tagged along.

"Well Master, as you might know, my recent studies have been to study the link between words and the images that are evoked in the mind. For example, if I were to say 'home', the image associated with that word is different for all of us. So I got to thinking, what if we could share our understanding of the word? It will aid us in learning too! For example...."

Anakin quickly fiddled a few dials on the machine and had everyone still themselves in the Force.

"Now, I'm going to share my idea of the word 'Herbal'"

The moment he said that, images flew through the minds of everyone present. Green grass, all varieties of flowers and more presented themselves.

"Well it looks impressive, but how is this going to help? From what I felt, I didn't get any extra information - just some images. If I see the pictures in a book, I'll feel familiarity, but that's about it."

"Yes, that's part of the issue I'm having. But the point is I'm able to transfer imagery using the results of my studies. For example, let's say I'm sent to Bomsheba. I've never been there, but you have. So let's say you use this and tell me about the place. I will have some familiarity with the area and thus will be to get around easier!"

"Interesting, this looks. But without understanding, dangerous knowledge is"

"I understand Master Yoda"

"Well, it looks like you did well on your independent studies, Ani. But you can't just have called me in to show this off, right?"

"Right you are Master!" Anakin started fiddling around with the machine while talking, "Well, I started getting curious about what would happen if I used a word that I had little knowledge about. Using the example of Bomsheba, if I were to try to share my 'knowledge' about it, it will be very little - if none. Then I discovered, my SUBCONSCIOUS mind tried to fill in the blanks!"

"Oh?"

"Yes! It gave me images of a place I had never seen. I can only conclude that somewhere somehow, I have some picture in my head built of how Bomsheba is supposed to look like."

"And this brings us to the reason why we're here...?"

"Yes! I had earlier realized that if more than one person were to share their thoughts, the final images shared are both composite and strengthened. It sorta builds a neural network of all the participants and shares the information across. Overall, this stronger image will provide a better understanding. It's even better when the participants are immersed in the Force! Thus, the images built and shared between us will be entirely from our subconscious! I wanted to try and see what would happen if we were to share an image of something neither of us had an understanding of."

"Join I may?"

"Of course, Master Yoda. It's just that ....ummm,.....I didn't really think there would be anyone else besides Master Obi-Wan and well,....."

"...Yes...?"

"....I kinda made a list of things that would embarrass both of us...."

A smirking Yoda smiled at an embarrassed Padawan and his face-palming Master.

"Over five hundred years old I am. Shy you no need to be. Seen far more than you I have."

It should be noted that Grand Master Yoda was well known for enjoying pranks on newly Knighted Jedis. It should also be noted that to the end of his days, he regretted this decision.

"...well, if you're okay then..."

"Ani.....Master Yoda, this may not be a good idea."

"No, no worry not. Share not your shame and embarrassment I will", the mischievous Grand Master grinned.

Fidgeting with the controls to hide his tension, Anakin drew a deep breath "Well, let's start with....."

At this point, there are three things to take note of:
1) Unknown to Anakin, the machine increased it's range with the strength of the participants and was NOT limited to just the room he was in. He was also in the Jedi Temple, the strongest concentration of Force-sensitives on the planet. A Padawan and Master might have increased the range slightly, but the inclusion of the strongest Jedi on the Council increased it's range greatly, snaring others and increasing it's range further. Et infinitum, et nauseum. His machine had now covered nearly half the planet - every single Jedi on Coruscant had received the images he sent just now and thought it was a message from the Force. (As a side note, Chancellor Palpatine was disturbed that he had images of flowers and sunshine while plotting the revenge of the Sith. Was he getting soft? No, he had to meditate on this...)
2) Master Mace Windu was looking for Master Yoda and had heard that he was in the room with Kenobi and his Padawan. While on the way there, he received a message from the Force and decided to discuss this with Yoda urgently. He also has the bad habit of entering rooms without knocking or asking for permission.
3) Murphy's law is a bitch - even in the Star Wars universe.

The door opened - Mace Windu stepped in and greeted his colleague quickly.

"Master Yoda" / "...striptease."

 

[rubyeye]

OK, I was only going to write just that one portion. However, when I showed it to my friend, he pointed out it could be worse. Don't expect anything else!

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"Honored Council, I must reiterate my concerns about this path. Surely there is -"

"MASTER KENOBI! Your concerns have been noted REPEATEDLY and the answer is still the same. Unless you can give an alternative solution, SHUT UP AND LET US PROCEED!"

"....anger leads to the Dark Side, Mace. Calm yourself."

"...CALM!! YOU IDIOTIC....*sigh*. You're right, Obi-Wan. However, you do understand that this is the only idea we have right now?"

It was three weeks after the incident that will be immortalized as the DAY THAT WAS STRUCK OUT. Jedi historians had already worked hard to erase all records of what had happened and locked away all possibility of Anakin's research resurfacing. Nonetheless, the effects were still felt hard by all the Jedis present that day.

Morale was at an all time low. Tempers were frayed and easily ignited - Jedi calm not withstanding. There were Jedis walking around with a twitch on their faces and muttering to themselves. Particularly sensitive Jedis were knocked comatose, caught in a loop of self-perpetuating horror. Nightmares haunted all of them, with some completely unable to immerse themselves in the Force for long before encountering THAT HORROR. One notable case broke down in front of the Senate and started crying after a member asked how he was feeling. The babies in the creche were crying intermittently with no rhyme or reason (one worrisome infant had been giggling non-stop - that particular infant was given a wide berth by all the caretakers unless necessary).

Master Yoda - upon realizing the part he played and remembering his words just before IT happened - announced his retirement and desire to meditate on the dangers of complacency and the risks of arrogance.

"...I still think we are moving too fast."

"Obi-Wan, the Jedi CANNOT continue like this. We have a duty to uphold and we can't do that duty as long as this, this ABOMINATION is hanging over us."

The idea was simple. When Senator Padme Amidala asked her good friends why they looked under the weather, she offended them by giggling non-stop at their reluctant replies. In between fits of giggling, she asked them a simple question - why not replace that image with something else? They stared at her and asked if she was asking them to replace the horrific image with the literal interpretation. Granted, it would be much better, but......She just smirked and pointed something out.

Anakin understood something well - the same word will have different meanings for different people. In an INTERGALACTIC community, why should that word have any meaning in another species? Find a species that didn't have that word in their vocabulary and have them share their idea of the word. Logically, if you have no idea of what was going on and didn't understand the word, even your subconscious will be presenting *nothing*.

The Jedi was struck with the brilliance of that line of thought. Searching through the list of species they had encountered (the auto translators every Jedi was equipped was Force-sent, they quickly filtered the species that didn't have that word in the vocabulary), they managed to narrow it down. It was perfect! The species had no nudity taboos and was alien enough that the idea couldn't even EXIST in their language. They were also NOT Force-sensitive and had no Jedi in the Order - pure and untainted for their purposes! The best part? One of them was a good friend of the Jedi and was willing to help - no questions asked! Thank the Force for stupid *ahem* trusting friends.

Shaak Ti spoke up. "Master Kenobi, we understand your concerns, but the fact is the Jedi cannot continue like this any longer. This is also the perfect chance to redeem the Sith Lord we have captured."

Indeed, upon being informed of the 'cure', Palpatine had wept and swore that he would forever bind his Force powers, resign from all posts and dedicate his life to the greater good.

"....I still say this is a bad idea."

"MASTER KENOBI. This is the will of the Council! You WILL obey." And without further ado, the Jedi Council sat down and started meditating in preparation of the upcoming event. Finally! Freedom! Peace!

Obi-Wan sighed and sat down, preparing himself as well. Anakin was standing a few feet away preparing to start the machine up and talking to his friend. Looking around, Anakin looked at his friend and told him that he could start.

His friend replied that he didn't understand what the word meant.

Anakin said that was the point.

His friend looked at him pitifully.

Anakin patted his hand and said "Look, just do your best. I'll explain later."

His friend frowned and tried his best to figure what the word meant. Across Coruscant, Jedi felt a sense of peace and a lightening burden as the horrific memories were slowly replaced by a sense of nothingness.

"YOUSA TALKING ABOUT PORN!?!?!?"

========
Centuries later, Jedi Historians studied the records of the day the Force itself screamed. It also marked the ignoble end of the last known Sith Lord - frothing from the mouth in his cell.

 

[rubyeye]

Okay, this is really, really the last. For some reason my muse just won't shut up until I posted this. Enjoy the omakes at the end!

"What did you say?!?!?"

"I said that - "

"I heard what you said, Captain. Never mind." Looking around, Bail Organa noted the pole-axed expressions of his companions. The same expression he knew to be on his face.

"First time I saw Mothma actually show expression, so that's what it takes. I wonder where Padme is...?" The Naboo queen was rather conspicuous in her absence. Focusing on his aide, he asked him directly. "Captain, you cannot seriously be suggesting that the Jedi are planning to OVERTHROW THE REPUBLIC!!!"

"Not overthrow, no Sir. I'm suggesting something more subtle, as in controlling from the shadows as it were."

"That's even worse! You're suggesting that the Jedi, protectors of the Republic for centuries are plotting to seize power by utilizing puppets!"

"Sir, I can only point at the facts since our return from Alderaan and the death of ex-Chancellor Palpatine."

And wasn't that a turn of events. Bail had returned from Alderaan to find the capital in chaos, with the revered Chancellor revealed to be a mad dark lord plotting the complete destruction of the Republic and setting himself up as absolute ruler. A pity he never made it to trial....wait....

"Captain, are you suggesting that the Jedi are implicit in the death of Palpatine?"

"Sir. No, Sir."

Bail breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm suggesting that they are implicit in the murder and defamation of ex-Chancellor Palpatine."

And there went the relief.

Seeing Bail Organa at a loss for words, Mon Mothma interjected. "Captain, you do realize the severity of your accusations."

"M'am, I can only point at the facts, M'am."

"And these facts would be?" Cadaman asked.

"Sir!
1) Ex-Chancellor Palpatine was last seen rushing into the Jedi Temple at 1300 Coruscant Standard Time.
2) The Jedi detained him and informed the Senate that he was a Sith, thus placing him under their purview.
3) The evidence of his corruption was unearthed by a joint team lead by Jedi Guardians.
4) No further contact was made with Ex-Chancellor Palpatine until shortly before his death.
5) Ex-Chancellor Palpatine was inexplicably handed over to be guarded by the Senate two days earlier than expected, citing unavoidable responsibilities raised by an unscheduled mass Jedi meditation.
6) The Senate Guards reported that he was in an insensate state, frequently babbling about being unable to un-see what had been seen.
7) Shortly before his death, 3 hours after his handover to the Senate, the Guards reported him suddenly going into a state of bliss before throwing a violent fit and expiring."

"Dash it all, man, that just proves that the Jedi were nowhere near him at the time of his death!" Bail cried.

"Sir, while the exhumation of ex-Chancellor Palpatine's body showed no foreign substances in his body, I have here a report from one of the physicians noting the curious state of his brain. Apparently, the ex-Chancellor had undergone a severe amount of stress prior to his hand-over to the Senate. The report furthers notes signs of agitated activity around the time of his death."

"You are suggesting that he was tortured?"

"Not physically, Sir. There was no evidence of physical trauma on his body save for his fingers. However, though the injuries appear to be electrical burns, they do not correlate to the stress he appeared to have endured."

Not physically? What on Coruscant was the Captain trying to hint - wait.

"Captain, are you seriously suggesting that the Jedi used the FORCE to TORTURE and MURDER Palpatine?!?!??"

"Sir, I can only point at the facts, Sir."

The representatives of the Delegation of 2000 looked at each other uneasily. This spat in the face of the century-old relationship between the governing body and the Jedi. While there were cases of Jedi going power-mad, these few were quickly put down by their former fellows. In recognition of their continuous support, the Senate had always allowed the Jedi to govern themselves. This, this was completely unprecedented!

"And where is this doctor now? And why haven't we seen this report before?"

"Sir, the report was sealed under Senate Order 2134A. I have been unable to locate the doctor. His neighbors reported him suddenly deciding to retire to the Outer Rim without leaving a forwarding address. Apparently his investments turned out very well. "

The sense of unease grew. Senate Order 2134A was basically a sealing order on behalf of the Jedi stating "internal affairs related to the Jedi and the Jedi Order". This was worrisome. And a missing doctor who was responsible for raising questionable points......

"....and who filed this Senate Order?"

"....Sir. Senator Amidala, Sir." The Captain replied softly.

Mon Mothma closed her eyes and sighed. The same thought ran through everyone's head. The Senator that owed everything to the Jedi. So that's why the Captain didn't invite her to this session.

"Sir, if I may suggest, Senator Amidala may not be a willing participant in this conspiracy."

Dewell Bronk looked at the Captain. Even his trusting nature were finding the facts hard to digest. "Unwilling, captain?"

"Sir, after compiling my findings on ex-Chancellor Palpatine, I went to Senator Amidala to request an exception to the Senate Order. I then - "

"STOP RIGHT THERE! Captain, you had suspicions about the Jedi and you confronted her without having backup? Are you insane, man? You should at least have informed me - " Bail Organa raged.

"Sir, I had no choice. Assuming my suspicions were correct, anyone I bought into my confidence would have been easily detected by the Jedi."

"That doesn't mean that - "

"BAIL! You can rage at your Captain later. What's done is done, we need to know more about this."

Bail collapsed in his chair and wiped his face. "We WILL be having words later, Captain. Please proceed."

"Sir. Yes, Sir. When I informed Senator Amidala about my suspicions, she informed me that the Jedi had been the bulwark of the Republic for generations and were above suspicion. She immediately cancelled our meeting. I have since discovered from my contacts in Security that she then proceeded straight to her private quarters. Half an hour after that, Knight Kenobi and Padawan Skywalker met her at her quarters. The privacy shield in her quarters were deployed and the two Jedi left three hours later. Security reported them having a grim demeanor. Senator Amidala was not seen for the rest of the day."

"And what was her expression when you confronted her?" asked Bana.

"M'am, it's not my job to -"

"Captain, you have proven that you have the interests of the Republic at heart. Whether these accusations will be proven false later on, you were right to bring them to our attention. Now I ask you, how was her expression?"

"M'am. She appeared to have trouble controlling her expression and ..."

"....and..?"

"M'am. She turned paler than usual, M'am."

Bail Organa stirred at that. Padme, being threatened? By the Jedi? If someone had even suggested this a few days ago, he would have recommended a long stay at the madhouse. Still, she could have been feeling under the weather. Kenobi and Skywalker were known associates, so -

"Sir. There's more, Sir. You might recall Master Secura that joined us on our recent trip to Alderaan and back?" The captain addressed the Senator.

"You're not going to tell me that she is part of this conspiracy are you man? She saved your life!"

"Sir. No, Sir. Master Secura is one of the few Jedi I still trust. As you might know, Master Secura is part of the ruling Jedi Council and her attachment to our trip was a high honor from the Jedi. I met up with her yesterday and she informed me that she had been removed from the Council to 'make way for more understanding individuals'. Sir, she mentioned that she felt ostracized within the Temple itself."

"Are you saying that she's been targeted?"

"Sir. No, sir. It seems that whereas she previously had full access to all the Council records, she now found herself locked out from the archive. In particular, the day ex-Chancellor Palpatine was detained and the day of his death. She also mentioned that the other Masters seem reluctant to discuss the events with her - seeing as this was related to a momentous event in Jedi history (their triumph over their age old enemy before he could even start his vile plots), this seemed extremely suspicious. Talking with the other Jedi who were not around during the same period revealed the same stone-walling."

Tundra looked around at his fellow Senators. A grim look was on everyone's face as they absorbed what the Captain had informed them about. Still, he had to raise a point.

"Captain, I have known Grand Master Yoda since I was young. I can assure you there is no way that - "

"Sir, if I may interrupt? Grand Master Yoda retired the day before the ex-Chancellor's death, citing the need to meditate on the dangers of complacency and the risks of arrogance. No one has heard from him since."

Silence reigned in the room as everyone could not counter the Captain's point. Finally, Des'sein stirred.

"Captain, while you have proved that there are questionable circumstances surrounding the ex-Chancellors death warranting further investigation, your more serious accusation of treason and undermining of the Republic's governing body needs to be addressed."

"Sir. At this point I delve into speculation, Sir. However, I sincerely believe that further investigation is needed."

Bail Organa gave a soft smile. "It's not like you to speculate, Captain. Your speculations are usually what most people call preliminary investigations. You've already made me doubt one of the main pillars of the Republic. Lay the rest out for us."

"Sir. Thank you, Sir. The current election process has been rushed; citing the need for a new Chancellor to oversee the Senate quickly. That the start of the election process coincides with my meeting with Senator Amidala is of no real concern. However, the current favourite for the next Chancellor is Senator Amidala. Normally, as the ex-Chancellor was from the same planet, the stigma of his corruption should not have allowed her to have such an overwhelming lead over the opposition. Yet, with the statement from the Jedi that she had their implicit trust and their allies in the Senate, her victory is practically assured. I have made discrete inquiries to my counterpart in her Guard and have been informed of the increased communication between her and the Jedi Temple."

"The Jedi Temple? Not her known friends, Kenobi and Skywalker?"

"No, Sir. Apparently Knight Kenobi and Padawan Skywalker are being restricted to the Temple since the start of the election process three days ago - to remove the possibility of showing favoritism to one of the candidates. Communications are routed to a secured line instead of the standard private line."

Giddean snorted. "Not showing favoritism. To a candidate that everyone knows is on good terms with them."

"I will also note that as per standard election procedure, two Jedi are assigned to each candidate to ensure their protection. Senator Amidala has Master Mace Windu and Master Shank Ti assigned to her."

"Two members of the CURRENT Jedi Council."

"Sir. Yes, Sir. Already, three of the candidates have dropped out of the race. I requested an interview with Senator Ral Alas early this morning."

This caused a stir. Ral Alas had risen to his position by being known for being incorruptible and unbending in his pursuit of justice. His dropping out had practically assured Amidala's victory.

"And what did he say?" Sadashassa asked with some urgency.

"M'am. He at first appeared reluctant to discuss it in detail with me; citing personal health reasons. I then assured him that anything he told me would be held in confidence and only revealed to the people here."

"...and?"

"Sir. He reported unease with his Jedi guards. Apparently, the Jedi assigned to him showed signs of sleep deprivation and were constantly muttering to themselves. He was woken one night by screams coming from their assigned quarters. As he rushed to see what was happening, he was intercepted by the other Jedi and assured that it would be handled. When he tried to force his way in, he was ...ummm..."

"...yes, Captain?"

"..he was glared down by the Jedi and marched back to his bedroom."

The sense of unease grew even deeper. A Jedi? INTIMIDATING someone to do what they want?

"He also reported that one of the Jedi showed signs of drug abuse as he constantly twitched at every sound and change in light. His personal bodyguards managed to discreetly get a blood sample by pretending to drop a knife - "

"Wait, that actually WORKED?!?"

"Sir. Yes, Sir" The Captain replied with a grim face.

The Jedi were known to be abject warriors with the Force guiding and protecting them. This was historically renowned! And a bodyguard managed to get a blood sample with a child's trick?

"Sir, he pointed out that the Jedi was severely distracted by something unknown. He also mentioned that the Jedi reacted extremely violently at discovering the cut and needed the intervention of the other Jedi as well as the guards to calm him down. The Jedi later apologized for his unseemly behavior - citing recent stress. Sir, I investigated and that Jedi has been on sabbatical at the Temple for the past year and a half."

" What did the blood sample show? And that still doesn't explain why he dropped out of the race."

"M'am. The blood sample showed no foreign substances. The cause of the Jedi's breakdown is unrelated to any drug abuse. As for his dropping out, Senator Ral Alas reported being stressed out as the Jedi guards kept fingering their lightsabers in his presence and having hushed conversations with each other. He believes that he has survived an attempted assassination."

Choking, Bail Organa stood up. "Captain, you cannot be seriously stating that the two Jedi were planning to kill Ral Alas! The very basis of their power is their link to the Force and doing something like this would - "

"Yes, Sir. The Light side of the Force, Sir."

"Yes of course the Light side of the Force! What else could I mean - " Bail closed his mouth and looked at his Captain. The expressionless face, the thinned lips. "Captain, please tell me that you do not believe that."

"...I'm sorry, Sir."

For the second time that day, Bail Organa collapsed in his chair. Burying his face in his hands, he tried to understand the enormity of what his Captain was suggesting. Records had shown that when a Jedi tapped into the Dark side of the Force, a personality change was a very common theme. But this was not just one Jedi! The majority of the Jedi Temple? How were they supposed to deal with this?

Schooling his features, Bail Organa looked up at his fellow Senators. A cloud of gloom and despair had descended on all of them. "So this is what hopelessness feels like," he thought. Taking a deep breath, he voiced out everyone's thoughts.

"What are we supposed to do?"


===========
Needed some crack somewhere, so enjoy some Omakes!

Omake 1
Amidala rushed to her private quarters. Her face showed nothing more than stern determination and the staff got out of her way. What could have agitated the beloved Senator so?

Immediately after closing the door to her private quarters, Amidala closed all the windows and doors and dismissed her guards. She went to her bedroom, activated the sound-proofing, locked the door and took a deep breath.

Then fell onto the floor and started laughing uncontrollably.

"Oh dear Force, and he was so serious! And his evidence!" She snorted before being overcome by another fit of laughter.

Still laughing, she managed to turn on her communicator.

"Amidala, not that it's not nice to hear - what's going on?"

"BWAHAHA, Obi-Wan, you have to *snort* HAHAHA - Oh dear Force, you have to come over -HAHAHA- I can't keep a straight face -AHAHAH" For the second time, the Senator fell onto the floor ungracefully.

"Amidala, what in the name of the Force?"

"Just come -AHAHAHA-, just come over.*Snort* I should have recovered by then -HAHAHA*

"....this had better be good. I could use some laughter after the past few weeks. Anakin and I will be over in a while."

"Sure. Come on over any time you despicable murderers! HAHAHAHHA"

"...what in the....? I'll see you later."

As the communicator winked out, Amidala laid on the floor giggling. Hopefully she could get over this by the time her friends dropped by. Ah, the silly, silly Captain......

===========
Omake 2
Dagobah.

A planet rich in the Dark side of the Force. A planet where most people will do anything to leave and get back to civilization.

Dagobah,

Home of ex-Grand Master Yoda.

As Yoda pottered around his new home, he reflected on the circumstances that brought him here.

Yes, his arrogance had played a big part in his stigmatization in the Temple. Masters that he had known for years, Padawans that he was on good terms with; all of them turned pale and quickly turned away when they saw him since the DAY THAT WAS STRUCK OUT. Attending the Jedi Council meetings was a chore and a half since no one dared looked at him. Those that accidentally caught sight of him quickly averted their eyes and mumbled acquiescence to whatever he said. He had no wish to be a tyrant leading the Council.

That would have passed however, in time. The Jedi were resilient and would have been able to get over their trauma, all in time. Then came that Force-be-damned "cure".

Yoda growled and quickly slipped into meditation to purge himself of the Dark side's influence. Even the isolation would have been acceptable! He could have attended the meetings via voice-only communications, never needing to show himself. Slowly, he could have ingratiated himself back into Jedi daily life. His announced retirement was also meant to slowly get the rest of them used to the idea that he wasn't always around and quell their trauma. But ever since that accursed Gungan, he had no choice but to leave! Just one day after the aborted cure and he couldn't stand it!

At first, he thought the cure had worked. Everyone he knew was happy to be in his presence again. Then gradually, he realized something wrong. There was just a bit too much worship in their eyes, just a touch too much obeisance from the younger Jedi. Though reluctant, he gently probed the minds of his friends and discovered the horrible truth.

It wasn't so much that they had gotten over their trauma. It was that they had been traumatized so badly that the images of him in those Force-be-damned poses were preferable! Everyone wanted him around because the memories of him from the DAY THAT WAS STRUCK OUT were soothing their pain. Those horrible poses and actions in their minds gave them peace!

Unnerved, the ex-Grand Master had quickly packed and left the Temple. Though he was begged and cajoled (and at one time even threatened!), he knew he had to leave. Otherwise he would forever be a crutch to his beloved Jedi and they could not grow. (A quiet whisper reminded him that he was also worried about being an object of desire and was quickly stifled.)

And so here he was. Ex-Grand Master Yoda in the swamps of Dagobah. Meditating on the dangers of complacency and the risks of arrogance. He sighed. It would be a lonely night.

==================
Omake 3
Amidala nodded regally to her maid as she walked into her private quarters, escorted by her two Jedi guards. Turning around, she dismissed her maid and smiled winningly at the stoic two. They smiled shyly back and proceeded to her personal quarters.

She frowned. It was a bit troublesome for her as she had to stay out of her own bedroom for an hour each time, but it couldn't be helped. The secure line was built into the bedroom and it couldn't be used elsewhere. She was glad that they had finally decided to see therapists; but with their added job of protecting her, the only way they could get their sessions in were by video-conferencing.

She giggled. Really, Anakin always did make life interesting. Bizzare and wierd, but always interesting. Ah well.

Glancing at today's news, she sighed at seeing the title. While she wouldn't have mind losing to him, the newspaper still saddened her. "Senator Ral Alas withdraws from election race!" The newspapers were rife with conspiracy theories and bad-mouthing every other candidate of foul play, but she was used to the cut-throat approach of the media. She was sure that only she had the correct reason why he quit.

Poor Ral Alas. She did make a point of telling the Jedi that it might have been a bad idea to send two Jedi guards to protect him at this point, but they insisted on a show of impartiality. She was sure that if they explained the situation to him, he would have been willing to forego the traditional two Jedi guards. However, the Council decreed that all candidates must be protected equally. (Although Master Windu looked remarkably glad he wasn't the one guarding Ral Alas.) Even pointing out that there was no way the suffering Jedi could perform their duties well didn't sway them. They just replied that as Jedi they had to perservere.

Yes, poor Senator Ral Alas. Though not born on Krelara nor one of it's native species', his winning personality and dedication to the cause had won him the right to represent his world. Amidala revered him as a person to emulate and decided that he had to be let in to the real situation as soon as possible. The Jedi would be stubborn but when she pointed out that their determined (and failed) stoicism had caused a great man to give up on his dreams, she was sure that they would capitulate.

Poor Senator Ral Alas. The Naboo-born Gungan Senator of Krelara.

 

[burnerx7]

That was somewhat funny the kind of thing you read when you had a bad day and just want something to keep the mind out of things, good crack man