TFFA: Half-way Across the Galaxy and Turn Left

[Zenithos]

TFFA: Half-way Across the Galaxy and Turn Left
Only going forwards, 'cause we can't find reverse!

Note: Inspiration and Original Concept by Locke, Mick, Sidhe, and Xerxezz.

The Realm of Terra, ruled by the Terran Federation Government, was the first to develop Crossoverium Matrix Drives and thus were the first to create physical faster-than-light-speed travel within the Infinitum. Through this newfound technology they created a powerful interplanetary fleet that made contact with many other realms within the Infinitum.

Their fleet is maintained by the Terran Federation Military, TFF (Terran Federation Forces).

Now this is a story about a ship and its crew...and of vorpal rabbits, tribbles, apples, popcorn, cheese, and utterly blatant stupidity.

Note: The Terran Federation exists on the other side of the Infinitum from the Realm of TFF and thus the two have nothing to do with each other, except for existing in the same Infinitum.

Ship

Name: TFFS Soyokaze

Class: Sigil Class Mothership

Description: Oldest, crappiest, poorest performing ship in the entire TFF. Is practically a junk ship. Is designed for long voyages in space and is made to be 100% self-sustained which allows it to go on for long periods without docking and resupplying. Because it was built before the replicator era, it has many facilities such as a greenhouse, factory module, etc. which have been made redundant by the advent of replicators.

Crew:
Captain: Michael(?!)
Chosen on the basis that he was the craziest of the mad house that is TFFS Soyokaze and that he is the most liable to get the ship in a lot of bad doodoo.

Vice-Captain: Locke
Used to be captain...until they found that he was actually smart and decided to demote him to vice-captain instead and replaced him with someone more liable to get them all killed.

Security and Tactical/Navigational Officer: Xerxezz
Voted biggest drunkard in the Federation 2 years running. Even drinks the hyper-space-diesel(?!) when no other alcohol-like drink is available. List of crimes against humanity: Eating Lum's cooking, asking for more, and eating tribbles whole.

Chief Science Officer: Zeni
Is Sane(?)

Cook: Lum
Can't cook. She tries though. Her being the cook, coupled with the fact that the Chief Medical Officer is insane, has led to the Soyokaze having the highest outside-of-battle death-count.

Chief Engineer: Zero
Apple Lover

Information Technology Chief Officer: Epsilon
Loves computer viruses...enough said.

IT Officer: Joy, Mihoshi

Chief Medical Officer: Eterna-chan
Keeps everyone healthy. Really, she does. Because people would rather stay healthy than go to her for treatment. Loves Popcorn.

Chief Nurse/Ship Councillor: Sidhe
Life onboard a ship, especially THIS ship, can be stressful. That's why people go to Sidhe-chan. However, due to the fact that she's the Chief Nurse and shares the same medical bay as the Chief Medical Officer, lots of people often choose going insane over visiting her.

Onboard Priest: Xaosite
People visit him for his services more than they visit the Chief Medical OFficer for hers.

Ambassador to Valley of Dolls: Shiakou

Others to be specified

Propulsion:
Sublight-Speed: Impulse Drive (Is 24 years old and prone to malfunction)
Warp-Drive: Crossoverium-Matrix Drive (Quite new, but extremely temperamental)

Facilities:
Hangar: Can house Mobile Suits
Greenhouse Module: Life Support and Food
Materials Processing Module: Can process raw materials here
Factory Module: Production of ammunition, weapons, etc. (Because the ship was built before the replicator era)
Hot Springs: Obligatory
Observatory
Holodeck
Kitchen: Lum's world

Ship Hangar:
1 MS GM Command
2 MS Zakus
3 Utility Shuttles

Armament:
Standard Phasers
Turbocannons
Torpedoes
Vorpal Rabbits
Xerxezz
And when things get hairy: The captain himself (i.e. as a projectile)

Equipment:
Artificial Gravity: Yes (Generator is 37 years old and prone to malfunction)
Cloaking Device: No
Force Field: No
Replicators: No (Destroyed by Lum)

Interesting Facts:
1) The Terran Federation wants to dispose of both the ship and the crew, so to save money on disposal costs they sent the crew onboard the ship on a mission to the ends of the Infinitum.

 

[Zenithos]

OOC: Following scene edited and adapted into prose from msgr logs of Locke, Sidhe, Mick, and Xerxezz.

Day 1: Toothpaste is toothpaste, even in outer-space!

Sigma Quadrant, Far Outside Federation Space, about 78.000 lightyears away from Terra
The Bridge, TFFS Soyokaze
10:00 AM Ship Time

"So.....Vice-Captain Locke..." Captain Mick of the Terran Federation Force sighed as he twirled his hat around on one finger while lounging back in his official captain bucket seat with his feet up on his instrument panel. "Why is Xerxezz knocked out..drunk...again?" He asked, referring to the ship's Security and Tactical/Navigations Officer.

The idiot who put those two roles together and fused them with a crazy drunkard gunnut should get a medal, an early discharge, and a quick and painless assassination.

"Didn't I specifically ask you to keep him away from the booze?" The Captain continued.

"He bet me control over Joy to see who could drink the longest. So far I've been drinking for only five hours." The Vice-captain shrugged as he looked up from his shift-charts.

"....how the hell did you of all people outdrink Xerxezz? The biggest drunk in all of starfleet command two years running?"

"Simple, he was slamming his beer down. I slipped the same mug of beer for the past five hours." Locke says, looking back down at his shift charts.


"....I never thought of that.." Captain Mick murmured. "Good show...that's why your second in command." He said, nodding at Locke with approval. "Keep up the good work.."

"...Second? I thought I was first in command of this mad house?" Locke suddenly asked, surprised.

"You used to be.." Captain Mick said, gesturing at the seat he was sitting in and his official hat. "Till somebody as a joke decided to make me the lead of this mad house.." He said. "Didn't you get the memo?"

Locke's eyes twitched.

"You're more qualifed then me.." Mick conceeded. "But...Somebody was hoping I'd crash the ship into a black hole or something.." He said, shrugging. " Don't know what the hell we did to piss off starfleet command though.." He added.

Locke looked around the spacious bridge at the various crew members miling about, going about their usual apparently-pointless background activities, before looking back at the captain. "Bad luck?" He suggested.

"Try no luck at all.." The captain said, nodding. "Speaking of which...." He began, just as the Com screen turned on.

"Damn it, Twin Blade!" Mick shouted. "Next time, tell me about incoming transmissions first, then wait for me to say 'ON SCREEN' before you put it ON SCREEN!" Mick shouted at the coms officer...who made a good show of ignoring him.

"Do it properly next time, Twin Blade." Locke said without looking up from his Shift Charts.

"Yes, sir." Twin Blade replied.

Mick's eyes twitched.

"Greetings Soyokaze...."

"...who?" Locke asked, without looking up from his work.

"oh....it's you.." Mick said in a rather bored tone as he sat back once more and lowered his captain cap over his face.

The COM screen showed one arrogant looking Shutaru Mendou, Chief Admiral of the TFF Navy.

"And that's why your disrespect has you rejects all out searching space.." Mendou said with a smirk.

 

[zerohour]

Zero happily lazed underneath the apple tree, without a care in the world.

ôZero sir, there's a problem with-ö

ôKeep walking kid.ö Zero responded, his hand idly drifting to his shotgun.

ôY-yes sir!ö the young crewman replied, shakily saluting as he all but ran from the greenhouse. Zero sighed happily as he departed, several minutes of blessed silence passed, before they were interrupted.

ôZero!ö Zeni screeched, her voice causing him to flinch.

ôWhat?ö he tiredly asked.

ôYou can't just keep neglecting your duties!!! You're the Chief Engineer!!! What are you doing in the greenhouse?!ö

ôI'm guarding the apples.ö

ôThat's no excuse!ö

ôI said, I'm guarding the apples.ö Zero responded, his voice dropping dangerously low. ôYou've seen what that...woman did to the last batch she harvested. Do you really think I'd give her another chance?!ö

ôDamn it! Zero, if you don't get back to work and fix Xerxezz's freaking weapons' array, I swear to god...ö

*The following threat has been omitted, as it may cause brain meltage.*

ôOkay Zeni...ö Zero squeaked, cautiously getting up and heading towards the nearest weapons station.

 

[Unknown-common-827]

Unknown was sitting in his bunk area on some weird planet/outpost area.

"This place... almost makes me want to head back to the Soyokaze," said the deadman as he sat down and contemplated his next move.

"Oh come now, Unknown. You know that those bumbling idiots held you back," said Rin Tohsaka as she leaned against a nearby post.

"You do have a point... However, they should have found us by now. More then likely, Mick is being a no good captain like always," said Unknown as he stood from his bunk.

"Just WHO runs this rundown place again?" asked the girl.

"Vince... a man named Vince. He reminds me of someone I knew a good while ago. Cold, tyrannical, not caring about the health of any non performing individual. You're lucky I'm here, Rin. Especially, with you as my manager, or else he MIGHT have put you in a match... or worse," said Unknown as he loosened his muscles before grabbing his coat and hat and heading out the door with Rin in tow.

"This guy you're about to fight next... he's a tough one," said the magus.

"I know, he was champion of his ship 5 years in a row. However, they never matched up to the power of one deadman," said the man as he slid the leather tunic onto his upper body, wrapped his jacket around his entire body and placed his hat on his head.

"Well... time to show these poor souls just what fighting is all about once again," said Unknown as the gong tolled and he slowly walked towards the curtain...

 

[Epsilon]

10:13 AM Ship Time

"Captain, you are hereby ordered to go to sector 1423 where you are to pick up an important passenger by 1400 hours. At this point, you will..." He stopped when he saw most of the bridge crew snickering. "What?"

"Oh... nothing, sir. Continue on," said Mick in between chuckles.

The vid screen on the Soyokaze's end showed the admiral's head in all sorts of weird and zany clown make up. Since the admiral had a feeling regarding the sanity of this crew, he decided to cut things short. "You will receive further instructions when you arrive at your destination. Mendou out."

The screen blacked out and Mick gave a brief sigh. "Locke, please add a commendation to Epsilon's record for his latest stunt."

"Aye sir."

"Helm, set course for sector 1423 and..." Mick paused and remembered that Xerxezz was out cold. "Never mind. I'll do it myself." He walked over to the helm's station and activated the Crossoverium-Matrix Drive...

 

[Mick]

10:15 AM Ship Time

"Oh wait..I forgot we haven't tested this yet....quickly everyone! Get into your chairs and put on your seat belts!" Michael yells before securing himself in his own chair.

The ship blasts forward at incredible speed. The others had barely managed to secure their own seating. Though this still didn't quite help those with sensitive stomachs deal with the pressure of moving at such a high speed.

As the ship moves forward at their speed the ship rattles and shakes as if barely being held together by super glue instead of duct tape like standard TFF regulations.

Eventually the ship finally manages by some miracle to end up at the ship's destination.

"Captain's log......somebody fix this bucket of bolts so that we don't end up knocking ourselves silly ever time we use the crossoveria thingy." Michael spoke up lazily into his recorder.

"Crossoverium-Matrix Drive! Your supposed to be our captain and you don't even know that?" Locke says before face palming and shaking his head.

"Meh I'll figure out this stuff and who else does what job later." Michael says lazily as he rests his feet back up on the instrument panel.

"What? Please tell me your joking. Come on what about our helmsmen. You have to at least know who takes care of that." Locke said starting to lose his cool.

"Helmsmen? Far as I know I just sit in this chair and say go this way or that way. Your the one who know who sat where." Michael replied.

Locke's eyes became big and wide as he rasped out. " You...have got..to be kidding..me."

"Hey I never volunteered for this gig. TFF hates us all, especially Mendou remember? Especially because you didn't marry his sister. Thanks again for that btw.." Michael reminded him. Michael too had been annoyed by the fall out.

Just before Locke could speak up the communicator's red cheap light began flashing but Michael ignored it as he stretched his arms and yawned.

"Shouldn't you answer that...?" Locke speaks glad he could take his mind off the previous discussion.

"Hm?" Michael asks confused.

"The communications..." Locke was saying with gritted teeth.

After ten minutes of pondering an exclamation appears over Michael's head.

"Oh ya that thingy! Go ahead and answer it whoever does the comunathingamahbober. Now that that's out of the way...I wonder how many nacho's I can fit into this hat..." Michael speaks quietly as he ponders the dilemma.

"Space is doomed..." Locke muttered.

It was then someone finally turned on the communications....

 

[locke69]

1100 Ship Time (After MickÆs communication) And thanks Sidhe for all her beta-ing for me, both here and my latest post in NB. Blame Zeni for the main idea behind this post too, she was the one that wanted Eterna to have someone in this RP, though I did agree to it.

Everyone was sitting at their stations on the bridge in completely shock; no one saw the FederationÆs latest plan coming. Least of all, Locke with his entire mind set to countering all threats against the ship.

ôLockeà I think it would be wise to tell your wife about this.ö

Shaking his head, then pausing to reread what Mick said to himà it left Locke completely confused. ôWife? IÆm not married.ö

A new type of silence fell over the bridge as everyone turned to face their former-captain-that-they-still-listen-to-over-their-new-one. ôIÆve never been married in my entire life. àWhy are all of you staring at me for?ö

Xerxezz, having recovered during the talk, got up and tsked a couple of times before slamming one of his fists into his other handÆs palm. ôI remember why you wouldnÆt remember the biggest day in your life!ö

ôCuriosity may kill me, but what do you mean by that and how did recover from our contest in under an hour? And I want JoyÆs program sent to me by tomorrow.ö

Shaking his head, Xerxezz replied. ôMe recovering has nothing to do with this, nor does my bet with a cheater.ö A quick hey from Locke was heard but ignored. ôThe day of your weddingà man I canÆt forget it. I had everything set up for it in under an hour!

ôYou donÆt remember because you had that fever while talking with some Klingon delegates. They got rowdy when they heard that youÆre the only person on the ship that even touches blood wine, something that even I donÆt drink, and challenged you to drinking contest.ö

LockeÆs eye muscles started twitching. ôI was challenged to a drinking contest while I had a fever. Where was the Chief Medical Officer?ö

Mick developed what appeared to be a shit-eating grin with that question. ôFunny you should mention Eterna, Locke.ö

After giving Mick a hard glare, Locke turned back to Xerxezz and motioned for him to continue. ôWell, you and the Klingons were getting nice and drunk. Drunker then me half of the time. Anyway, you all made a stupid dare. æThe first to marry a twin will enter the Halls of Sto'vo'kor with full honor.Æö Xerxezz stopped and got the same grin as Mick.

Locke, having his head in his hands, had connected the dots. ôNoà noà please tell me that youÆre all joking?ö

Zeni, in a strangely chipper voice, answered. ôNope, you got on your knees in front of Eterna right after that as she was examining you and proposed. And since she doesnÆt speak Klingon, she had no idea that you doing that because of a drunken bet. She honestly thinks that you love her, regardless of you not enjoying the warmth of your shared bed, at allö

As Locke stopped shaking his head, he asked, ôThen why donÆt I remember ever seeing her in my quarters in theà year that IÆve been married to her?ö

That question left many on the bridge in confusion. Zero piped in, ôI have seen you asleep in Engineering a few times. The holodeck too.ö

ôIÆve seen him asleep in the hydroponics bay.ö

Groaning at all of this, Locke got up and waked towards the exit. Just as the door open, Mick asked, ôAnd where are you going? I didnÆt dismiss you.ö

ôI dismissed myself. And as to where IÆm going, I going to get this all sorted out with Eterna.ö

After Locke left the bridge, a few people shook their heads as another few said, ôPoor bastard.ö

Ten minutes later, the entire ship heard a scream of ôDanna-sama!ö Followed close by with ôAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!ö

At the bridge, Mick was confused. ôShouldnÆt there be a few more hÆs in the last sentence?ö

Zeni just grinned and said, ôTheir bed hasnÆt been shared, Mick. Think about it.ö

 

[zerohour]

ôXerxezz... did you really need me to fix that?!ö Zero asked, his fury barely contained.

ôOf course I did! Every weapon needs to be in tip-top condition for the rare but deadly space battle!ö Xerxezz happily declared.

ôReally?"

ôReally Really!ö

ôJust how is a single gun on the secondary artillery battery, a system so far out of date using it battle is more likely to hurt us than anyone else, necessary for battle?! How do you justify forcing me outside of the ship, in a broken down spacesuit with almost no safety features to fix it?!ö

ôWell...ö

ôDamn it, if you ever call me to fix something so stupid again, I'll tell EVERYONE your REAL name!!!ö

"WHAT?!?!?"

ôWhat do you think of that, mister-ö

ôNEVER, EVER SAY THAT NAME!!!ö

ôWhat if I do?!ö

ôI'LL BLOW UP THE GREENHOUSE!!! NO MORE APPLES FOR YOU!!!ö

ôYOU WOULDN'T DARE!!!ö

ôWOULDN'T I?!?!ö

The two officers glared at each other, before the mutual decision to depart was made, and the two left the corridor, satisfied they had made their point.

 

[Scratx]

Deep space, somewhere in the galaxy... and rather close to the TFFS Soyokaze...


"Damn thing, you worked before, work again!"

Such was the issue the four-tailed foxgirl Koneko, ex-member of the human species, was facing at that time. The ship she'd stolen off her captors was rather old and ill-maintained, but even after her zany modifications to the warp drive to outrun pursuit (she'd left them gaping at her ion trail a few dozen light-years behind), it was still not a completely broken down ship. However... it was pretty much helpless right then.

"Crud... no warp drive in the middle of nowhere! Warp core almost breached, too... and is almost out of juice anyway... no functioning weapons, shield shorted out... and long-range comms are totally absent... I swear, they must've been using this pile of crap for spare parts!", Koneko exclaimed, tossing the wrench on to the floor in disgust.

"It's a miracle I still have gravity and life support... damn, and my touches on the warp core were working so well..."

She sighed, then, running her mind through what she had to work with, still. She'd managed to steal supplies with the transporter when she was bugging out, and they'd been invaluable in her escape so far. Food, water, equipment of all sorts, even some weapons and ammunition. Not that those would avail her much if they caught up to her, she'd never received any training in those weapons.

Phasor pistols? Sure, she knew... crap shot, but knew how to handle one. Phasor rifles? Oh, sure... even crappier shot as those things aren't ergonomical, but the TFF Academy did teach... but these weapons were not models she was familiar with. And some were even projectile weapons! How... crude.

Her thoughts drifted back to her food supplies, then... she'd stolen quite a lot, but even if she could live off them for a few months, it still wouldn't help her much. She knew the warp drive was out of comission for good, and she couldn't go out on a space walk to try and fix it... even if there were any suits in the ship in serviceable condition, none of them would fit her. Which left her with sub-light engines.

And a 56 year long trip to the nearest inhabited planet. She'd be a pile of bones long before she made it there.

It was upon realising her doom that she started to weep, unaware that her saviors were just around the corner, in a much bigger pile of crap of a ship... which actually worked most of the time.

 

[Epsilon]

11:45 AM Ship Time

"Honestly... trying to obtain and refine something as sensitive as the Omega Particle? Can't the Federation come up with an original plan to formally dispose of us?" asked Epsilon from his spot on the Bridge.

It was then that the sensors started beeping and he checked out the readings before reporting to the Captain. "Sensors have detected a stray ship. It looks badly damaged. Communications seem to be down as well as propulsion and weapons. Life-support seems to be failing. And I'm reading one life sign!"

Mick frowned. "What could have caused it? An enemy? Oh, well... we better do at least one good deed for the day. Mick to Zero. Did you finish fixing up the transporter?"

"Yeah, it's up. But if you call on me to do another project like this, I expect my pay rate to be doubled."

"So two barrels of apples a day? I'll consider it." Mick closed the channel and issued a command to the computer. "Computer, lock on to the lifeform in the vessel ahead of us and beam it directly to sickbay!"

"Acknowledged."

"Uh... with all due respect, Captain... you just sentenced that alien to a fate so dark that we'll be reeling from the lawsuits if it ever recovers," pointed out Epsilon.

"SHIT!! Computer, belay my last order!"

"Unable to comply. Transport is now complete."

"Beam the alien back to its vessel!"

Epsilon sighed. "No good, man. The force fields in sickbay are already up and we can't get a lock. Just what the hell were you thinking, sir?"

"I don't know but this isn't going to make for a good first impression, will it?"

"Well, duh."

 

[Xaosite]

Bridge, 11:47 AM Ship Time, NB EXP: 5.5

*Yaaaaaawn* "Just what have you barbarous, animalistic heathens been doing at this god-forsaken hour of the morning?" Xaosite said, lurching down the corridor, looking incredibly disheveled. This was not an easy feat with starfleet uniforms and all.

Epsilon looked down at the console, paused for a moment, and said, "It's 11:47, you know."

"Exactly. It's 11:47 AM, which means it's still morning. Honestly, who in their right minds would... be up... at this... hour. Oh yeah. Never mind." He said, before shaking himself fully awake.

Epsilon silently held up a large mocha, which Xaosite grabbed and started to chug down. "Ahh, much better. Thanks."

"Don't sweat it."

"If I can have your attention, the humble captain would like to know what brings your noble, enlightened self to our, as you said, barbarous, animalistic heathen presense?" Mick said, his tone so think with sarcasm you could cut it with a knife.

"Well, I felt I could offer my divine grace and assistance, since you guys don't seem to want to let me sleep."

"I don't recall your 'divine grace' to be of much assistance before."

"You wound me to the quick, good sir! May I remind you of our excursion to that world of catgirls?"

"You managed to convert one of them. One, as in singuar. As in, she followed you aboard the ship!"

"It certainly worked out well for me, at least!" Xaosite said, grinning smugly, while Epsilon just rolled his eyes and Mick held his head in his hands.

Seeing as the captain wasn't in the mood for further coversation, Epsilon turned to Xaosite and asked. "You know, as the ship's priest, doesn't that mean you have to operate by certain moral standards? Especially regading, to put this delicately, relations with the fairer sex?"

"Those moral stantards are defined by the religion. And the God of Dice isn't very strict about that sort of thing." Xaosite said.

"Ah."

"Look, just go make yourself useful and go save our new guest from the hell we've just transported them into." Mick said, shaking his head.

"Right-o, captain!" Xaosite snapped to attention, gave him a sharp salute, and rushed off down the corridor. Mick stared after him for a few seconds, before he gave up trying to figure him out.

 

[Mick]

Bridge, 11:50 AM Ship Time

"Damn all this captain work is so tiring. Can't believe I gave so many orders today.." I yawn lazily while stretching and putting my feet back up on the control panel.

"But you've only been awake for about an hour and a half.." Epsilon spoke up.

"Hour and 50 minutes. Bout 50 minutes too long..." I say lazily while spinning the captain's hat on one finger.

"How are you captain again?" Epsilon asks.

"Eh doesn't matter. Let's just go pick up Locke's newest girlfriend and get this over with." I muttered as I stand up and begin to stretch.

"What the hell do you mean?" Twin blade asks.

"It's what that idiot called bout earlier remember? Somethin bout restorin diplomatic ties with that mudball Earth, and that tree-hugger planet Jurai. Heh hope Eterna can share.." I say as I begin to walk away.

"Were still in the middle of this farce of a mission! What the hell do you think your doing?" Zeph asks rather annoyed.

"I called Zeni to meet me in my quarters what the hell do you think I'm doing?" I say one last time before the double doors in front of me opened and I walked out of the bridge.

 

[Kerrus]

12:10
Deck 32, private corridor

As far as midshipmen went, Kerrus wasn't the best. Of course, being in charge of plasma overflow management, and having to sit in a small room monitoring power flow all day wasn't exactly a glamorous job. Sure, there were benefits. The officers tended to be a collective group who meandered all over the place but never really payed attention to the so called 'little people'. Kerrus preferred it that way, as it meant he could basically live at his station. Where once the tedious job consisted of sitting in an uncomfortable chair, leaning against a too too ergonomic workstation, and staring out a viewplate enforced window, now Kerrus had... changed the layout of the room

Oh, sure, it was all to spec, and technically he did have permission, but he rather doubted the officers would be happy if they came into the room and saw him dressed in casual clothes, lying on a big comfy bed all propped up with pillows. But that was what he did, the holographic interfaces allowed him to watch the plasma overflow charts in a tiny window, and pretty much goof off with the rest. Whether it was watching holonovels from a viewscreen perspective, trawling through old animation, or arguing with other people on the ships intranet, Kerrus was part of it all. Hell, he even had a little design program running on the side where he'd test different configurations and modifications to ship spec tech.

And so it was that he noticed an incoming message flag. While normally he would have directed it the the so called 'spam box' and looked at it later, this one was flagged 'Zero One Black', which in starfleet terms was 'extremely urgent'.

"Computer, secure channel authorization Kerrus Zero Zero One Mango, code Black Black Crimson Alpha," he ordered. The screens flickered for a moment, before Kerrus found himself watching the somewhat amused visage of Fleet Marshall Deus Koffee. "Ah, Fleet Marshall, what can I do for you today?"

"You could start by actually doing your work, instead of lazing around," she said tersely. Kerrus chuckled.

"Oh? Computer, pan view, authorization Primus Maximus," Kerrus remarked. The view of the Fleet Marshall panned, revealing her clad only in the shirt and hat of her uniform, and little else, reclining in a hot tub.

"Always one for games, ne?" she replied in turn. "In any case, it has come to my attention that your.... 'vessel' is operating outside normal regulations. So We have decided to reactivate you."

"We? The Imperial Plural, 'We'? Well, well, you have my attention, Deus," Kerrus said.

"Good. As of now, I am offcially reactivating you. You will be payed at wage-standard for Commodore, retroactively from when you were terminated. That's the rank you've got too, so I expect you to dress in something snappy. Finally, your orders...." Deus tapered off for a moment, blushed a bit, then pulled out a PADD and cleared her throat. "Keep that damned ship, and her damned crew the hell away from the rest of us. Do what you must in the name of the TFF, but, for the love of all that is sacred, do it out there where we can't be accountable for it?"

Kerrus merely chuckled at this.

"Righto, Marshall. I'll get to it right away," he said with an undertone of amusment.

"You'd better, sensors show you on course for a major colony. It would be in your best interest if you didn't reach it," Deus finished. She nodded once, then terminated the connection leaving Kerrus to stew in his own thoughts.

"Commodore, huh? So many possibilities, so little time," Kerrus snickered. Then he called up the plasma overflow management window and sent a command. The computer, now believing that there was building stress in the left warp nacelle, began diverting power to compensate. Of course there wasn't actually anything wrong, but this minor diversion of power would shift the ship off course enough to bypass the colony world entirely.

"Now, to replicate me a uniform worthy of this magesty," Kerrus remarked. "Computer, give me something Fabulous!"






"Error.... No replicators detected."

"Fuck."

 

[Zenithos]

OOC: mostly by Zeni, continued by EI

Chief Science Officer's OFfice, Central Research Module, TFFS Soyokaze, 11.47 Ship Time

Zeni was bored. And when the Chief Science Officer was bored, it didn't normally bode well for the other members of the crew.

No, she didn't have bad tempers and tantrums, especially not over something so...human...like boredom. She was no more notorious amongst the crew for her temper than was the good captain popular for his great prowess at leadership. She was, after all, perhaps the quietest and most mild-mannered of the crew....

...However, she has been noted for...well...her rather questionable quirks...

And said quirks were all the more worse when she was bored. Thus why the crew members have evolved a secondary instinct to detect boredom in the Chief Science Officer and even developed cunning survival tactics to avoid her at all costs. It was important. Those who failed to evolve these survival instincts don't normally survive.

Even tapping into every communication channel in the sector failed to amuse her. The transmission between Fleet Marshall Deus "Deus-chii" Koffee and midshipman "Commodore" Kerrus managed to keep her attention occupied for a brief minute, before all the stink of bureaucracy bore her to death. After all, they didn't need the help of the good Commodore to keep the ship away from the Federation. The captain was already doing a good job of it anyway.

...oh yes, the good captain. Why did he want her to see him in his quarters again?

She searched through a nearby pile of notes and post-its before finding a small note tied to a gold wedding band which said, 'note to self - I am married to the Captain'.

Oh yes, they're married. That's why. She can never seem to remember that. Marriage, in some strange inexplicable way, gave her certain nuptial duties and him certain....'conjugal rights'...such as calling her into his room whenever he felt like it.

...why are they married? ....she must have it written down somewhere...the note must be down here...oh, never mind...

"...hmmm?" Zeni looked up at the screen as a notification popped up. An alien has been beamed up to the medical bay.

...wait, an alien? In the medical bay?

....she was definitely bored enough to go visit her dear sister, the Chief Medical Officer. Why not? And who knows? That new containment jar she just got might be a suitable size for their new alien friend...

....that's perfectly reasonable, isn't it? Off course! And people accuse her of being two universes short of being sane. How rude!

...it was obvious that she's just plain insane. Why on earth do people have to go in circles to say that? So inefficient....

 

[Mick]

TFFS Soyokaze, 11.57 Ship Time

Michael walked through the hallways on the way to his room. On the way since he had nothing better to do he tried to figure out what the hell to do when they got to Jurai.

"Hm.....maybe we'll pretend to go along with it..get the jurain nobles drunk with Xerxezz stash...once there knocked out we get the hell out of there. Heh maybe pick a fight with some space pirates to liven things up a bit.." Michael muttered out loud to himself.

As Michael continued walking down the hall he ignored the questions and and looks the red shirts gave him about why attacking a group of 'pirates' for no particular reason.

"Heh least we might have something different to eat instead of these damned regulation 'food bars'." Michael pondered. Sure you might be full after eating one..but they were horribly freaking bland. Damn Xerxezz for sticking Lum in the kitchen..

"Um sir..sir!" A red shirt yelled bravely getting in the captain's face.

"Damn it...putting up enough effort dealing with being captain of you idiots as it is. What do ya want idiot?" Michael asked after clenching his hand and forcibly choking the red shirt.

"S-sir! Ze... Zeni... said... she had... to.... see... the... passenger... we... rescued... before... seeing... you..." The red shirt said in between choking.

"I know that gumba. You don't think I know she'd be interested in experimenting on the unlucky fool that got rescued by us? Pff long as I get some time alone with her to relax or whatever she can do what she wants. Just as long as it's before we get to Jurai. Then I'll have to pretend to be the 'perfect captain' again. Ick how gross and boring. Not even there yet and this mission all ready blows..." Michael complained forgetting the fact that the red shirt's face was turning blue.

"Oh wait that's right. Your still choking...." Michael said as if it were an afterthought. With that he released the man allowing him to drop back down to the ground and resume his breathing.

"Should have listened to mom and become a doctor instead..." The red shirt complained after regaining his breath. With that he stalked away from Michael frustrated at his lot in life.

"Ahhh here we are..." Michael said as he entered his room.

"Let me see...roses go here....smuggled contraband chocolate here... heh glad we raided the willy wonka planet..." Michael muttered as he set to preparing the room.

"What the hell else do they use for these things? Wine? No neither of us drink. Besides then I'd owe Xerxezz a favor... ya no thanks." Michael muttered.

"Hm dim the lights to go this way..hm..I'll save that for the moment. When she gets here first I'll have to do the 'captain thing' again and ask about our newest passenger...heh too bad for them they landed on my ship." Michael jested remembering just how junky the Soyokaze truly was.

"If it's any consolation I won't work em too hard.." Michael spoke aloud again.

 

[locke69]

Kitchen, TFFS Soyokaze, 12:40 Ship Time

(Note: I don't know Lum's pattern of speech, so I'm limiting it to one line of dialog. I also have a few new games to try out so I'm keeping this short.)

ôArenÆt you done yet?ö

A twitching eye was seen on the person that was asked that, for the few hundredth time, proving that even someone like the former captain at a limit to his patienceà or that after talking with hisà wife, he was more emotional. Either way, Locke was cooking something that many on the ship hadnÆt had the chance to eat in years, a deep dish pizza with extra cheese and Italian sausage and without Lum cooking it.

No one outside of Locke and Lum know why Lum wasnÆt involved in making the pizza. This led many people to have the thoughts of killing their former captain for the food of the various godsà of college students and people too lazy to make their own damn pizza. Still, no one dared to kill either once Locke said, ôFor the last time, its nearly done. Once itÆs done and cooled off a bit, IÆm taking it to Eterna in Med Bay.ö

----

Entrance to Med Bay, TFFS Soyokaze, 12:50 Ship Time

At the doorway to the Med Bay, Locke recalled what happened the last time he arrived here, which was nearly two hours ago. Shaking his head of the memories, he opened the door, expecting to see his wife reading some fan fiction in the database, but instead seeing Eterna chasing someà tail?

Blinking his eyes and entering the Bay, Locke confirmed that his wife was indeed chasing some tail. Tails to be precise, attached to a terrified and attractive looking foxgirl. Also noting that everything in the Bay was in disarray, he did the only thing he could do. Locke coughed loudly and called out, ôPizza! Eterna and the foxgirl, come and get it while its still hot!ö

 

[David Alan Abramczyk]

1310 Shiptime

Armoury

The Armoury Officer looked at his weapons rack with a depressed groan. TFFS Soyokaze was his first posting out of the Academy, and was considered a career killer. So naturally, even the most gung-ho and upbeat cadet could be excused for falling into melancholy; and that was before even looking at what was in the gun lockers. Aside from a pair of broken phaser pistols, the entire armoury was stacked with obsolete pistols, revolvers, a couple of elderly sub-machine guns, and a handful of bolt-action rifles. And if that wasn't bad enough, nearly all the guns were of different calibres, and had next to no ammunition.

The Officer, brevet-Lieutenant(j.g) David Abramczyk slowly began his daily ritual of dismantling the guns, to clean and maintain them. They might never be fired in his lifetime, but by God they were going to be in perfect working order nonetheless!

 

[Scratx]

11:43 Ship time (just prior to teleport)


The tears kept running down Koneko's face as she bent down to pick up the remote command headset. It'd been something she found out about almost entirely on accident, and she'd been very grateful for it. While hardly a replacement for the ship bridge, it allowed her to remain in control of the ship wherever she was within it... albeit awkwardly, as any complex instruction was inevitably much better performed from the command consoles, and not from a wireless headset. Of course, the headset's range was very limited. It wouldn't work at over a mere two hundred feet distance from the ship. However, that was irrelevant in Koneko's mind.

What was relevant was the flickering lighting.

Great, what else can go wrong..., she thought, as she pulled the green transparent visor down before her eyes, enabling the headset, then looked for damage reports.

Life support failing... oh, great. Just great. If I don't fix this piece of junk I won't last the day... wait, what's this? Sensors reporting a large ship headed my way? I'm saved!, she thought with glee. That is...

...until a teleporter locked on to her and beamed her to somewhere else entirely.


"What? Where am I?", she said in surprise. The foxgirl looked around and noted she was no longer in her crap ship, but in what appeared to be a medical facility of some sort. And she wasn't alone.

Eterna-chan had been avidly reading a furry yuri fanfic when the blue particles of a transport caught her attention and led her to come closer. Once the transport finished, it only took her a moment to go starry eyed at what appeared to be a fantasy coming true before her, unsettling the fox girl and setting off alarm bells in her head.

However, it wasn't until the ship's doctor yelled "Furry!" that Koneko felt truly creeped out, tails spasming straight and fur standing right out, and decided that fleeing was indeed the better part of valor right then.

Eterna-chan would give 'chasing tail' a whole new meaning in the following minutes.

 

[David Alan Abramczyk]

1325 Shiptime

The Armoury

David slowly slid the blot back into place on the Mauser with a gentle satisfied sigh. He'd spent the last quarter-hour cleaning the the bolt-action rifles out untill they shone. Now, he went over to the pistol rack by the door to work on the Browning Hi-Powers there. He picked up a pistol, but paused as he heard the sound of running feet. Curious, he glanced outsside, only to be broadsided by a furry, antropromorphic fox. The pair tumbled around on the floor for a moment, before ending up in a compromising position. David gazed around in a daze, before freezing when he saw Eterna glaring at them both.

 

[Mick]

TFFS Soyokaze, Captain's quarter's Ship Time 1:00 PM (Before David's post)

I sat there in my room waiting just as the door opened and Zeni walked in looking frustrated.

"Hm..something wrong?" I ask her from my position sitting at the bed.

Zeni rolled her eyes at me for a minute before sighing.

"Come on..what happened? Didn't you get to meet your 'latest' test subject?" I ask.

"That's just it. By the time I got to med bay Locke was all ready there to get in the way." Zeni muttered annoyed.

"Figures.....I'll set aside some time in the schedule where he can't interfere..." I offer to which she doesn't say much.

"C'mon..." I say placing an arm around her shoulders as I stood up and led her to the bed.

"Look..to get your mind off things for awhile....let's plan on how we deal with this 'Jurai' problem. Hell maybe by the end you might finally get a Jurain to experiment on in addition to the newbie we picked up today." I offer.

"Wait...what is it your planning?" Zeni asks me eyeing me suspiciously.

With that I began whispering in her ear..

"Your kidding? Seriously? You actually think that will work?" Zeni asked me sceptically.

"Pff you worry too much it'll go off without a hitch." I boast smirking.

"Now come on..." I say turning Zeni around and looked into her eyes.

"The rest of the crew are getting restless..." Zeni said to try and interrupt me once again.

"Hey computer?! You awake or what ya piece of junk?" I ask the machine.

"Such Insolence!" The ship's mostly inactive A.I. spoke up..

"The A.I. for the SHIKODAN? On our ship? I don't remember that being here and I'm the chief science officer.." Zeni muttered confused.

"Oh that useless bitch was taken from her old ship's computer and placed here where she could do no harm to anyone 'important." I mutter sarcastically.

"I'll kill all of you first chance I get..." Shikodan was saying before being interrupted.

"Pff..you can't do squat and you know it. This piece of junk ship is too limited for you to do anything." I say lazily to the ship's A.I. much to 'her' frustration.

"Now anyway look, bitch, wanna give sometin to do for the crew so...any pirate ship's on the way from here to Jurai for us to loot? On that note how much farther to Jurai?" I ask curious.

"Since this might get you killed... I'll cooperate... for now. Jurai...and hour and a half away. Forty Five minutes away there's a pirate ship ahead called the 'black pearl'. There very dangerous and...no nevermind they should make perfect targets for you all. Yes go on right ahead.." Shikodan spoke up with... was that glee in their voice? Pff no matter.

"Ya let's do that. Now sod off and turn off the camera's here. Oh ya and lock the entrance to my quarters" I say to the ship's computer.

With that me and Zeni are left alone once more.

"The black pearl? Your nuts you know that right?" Zeni asks.

"So? All of us are..that's how we ended up here." I say to which she can shrugs not caring either way.

"Now that that's done..." I speak up and kiss Zeni full on the mouth as I lead her to my bed.

I disrobed her as I laid Zeni down on her back, still kissing and fondling Zeni. I then used a pillow case to Tie Zeni's arms gently behind her back.

Separated from her and disrobed myself before once again heading back towards Zeni. I cupped her chin gently before laying a deep kiss upon her while one hand softed pet her hair.

One hand held her cheek before letting it go and softly stroking Zeni's inner thigh before climbing on top of her.

 

[Kerrus]

Engineering, ship time 1:02

Commodore Kerrus Magrus strode into engineering a man possessed. His cape trailing behind him, he looked like a character out of some esoteric shakespear play.

Of course, one had to consider that the costume in question had been 'requisitioned' from the ship's theater, so yeah.

"Commodore on deck!" Kerrus snapped. Assorted crewmen looked at him strangely, but otherwise did nothing.

"We don't have a Commodore. Who the fuck are you?" said one of the lieutennants.

"Commodore First Class Kerrus Magrus, and your superior," Kerrus said imperiously. "Computer confirm."

"Confirmed. Commodore First Class Kerrus Magrus. Assigned to the Soyukaze for the next seven duty tours, or until the ship explodes, whichever comes first," the computer remarked. One of the ensigns laughed. And promptly found himself being lifted up by his uniform.

"I'll not have that sort of lip from this crew, no matter what sort of misfits you happen to be. But I'm willing to spare the rest of you any punishment. You, however," he said pointing to the ensign. " You will be my attendant. Now, on your feet, we're off to see the wizard."

"Uh?"

Kerrus deadpanned. "The Armoury Officer. I need to pick up my guns."

The ensign snorted, but followed the obviously insane, yet ranking officer. Down the corridors, up the stairs (Turbolift was broken) and down another hall. The ensign muttered something under his breath.

"What was that? Failure to answer will result in myself remain here, and yourself heading out there," Kerrus said tersely, pointing out the window.

"Uh... I was wondering why fleet assigned such a strong commodore as yourself to this ship, when commodores are supposed to command fleets.... sir," the ensign answered.

"Ah, a very good point," Kerrus answered, then spotted something. "Indeed, currently I only hold sway over this vessel. Fortunately, there seems to be an answer to that problem in our midsts. COMPUTER! Who does that vessel belond to."

Kerrus pointed imperiously out the window, at the floating scrapheap.

"Vessel in the possession of unidentified vulpine female," the computer answered.

"Ah. And where is she now?"

"Sickbay, under the care of the chief medical officer,"

Kerrus frowned. Eterna. Vulpine female alien. Not entirely good, nope.

"Lock a transporter onto here and beam her here," He ordered.

"Unable to comply, sickbay currently under level eight security fields, unable to achieve target lock on vulpine female,"

"Damn. Very well, make a log entry. I, Kerrus Magrus and Commodore of the TFF Fleet hereby known as 'Ramshackle' do, upon the laws of free salvage, claim that vessel as salvage. Lock a grapple onto it and tow it into the aft shuttlebay," Kerrus ordered. The computer beeped, and complied. Indeed, he watched as the two silver lines of the ancient grapple latched out and began pulling the ship in. "Meanwhile, I've a captain to go procure."

"Sir, you're not really planning to go to sickbay, are you?" The heretofer silent ensign asked.

"Not planning? NONSENSE!" Kerrus said, gesturing imperiously. "Computer, beam us to sickbay!"

"Wha-" the ensign cut off as the two of them dissolved in silver light. Moments later Kerrus materialized in the middle of sickbay, arm stretched out, and otherwise looking awesome. The ensign, though, was nowhere to be seen, having materialized in septic overflow containment. Or rather, several meters to the left of the management station, just above the.... tanks. He fell, and would not be seen again for another week while he tried to get the smell out.

 

[Cyberscythe195]

Somewhere in Space, 1:12 TFFS Soyokaze time

"Ugh"

With a grunt, Sousuke awakened once more.

'How long has it been?' he wondered as he continued to drift endlessly in the vast emptiness of space.

"Warning!" a monotonous voice quipped.

'Just leave me alone'

"Warning. Life support systems are at 5 Percent. Internal batteries will sustain life support systems for only 15 hours. Batteries can sustain life for three hours if the suit is in motion. System recommends that the pilot should bring this suit to nearest waypoint."

'Hah! Nearest waypoint. There isn't one for a good 16 million miles.' thought Sousuke bitterly.

He continued to drift in space inside the Virtuaroid.

'The stars are pretty tonight. I wonder if they're also watching them.'

Sousuke thought back to his dear friends and fellow pilots.

'Don't be sad Reika-chan. Keiko-chan. This was what I wanted. There was no other way.'

He began thinking of the events that led him to his current predicament.

-Flashback-

"You can't go! This is suicide!" Reika cried, holding onto the shorter boy.

Sousuke Matsuki, standing at a meager five foot four, could only shake his head.

"I have to Reika imouto chan. We need to destroy the moon gate. There's no other way."

"Then let us go with you. Three virtuoroids stand at a much better chance than your outdated prototype." Keiko stated in what sounded like her usual indifferent, manner of fact of tone. It was only with years of experiance that he was able to pick up the subtle undertones of worry.

"You know I can't let you guys go with me. Besides, I need someone I can trust to take of things here. You know that the DN corporations beginning to mass produce Virtuaroids again. There's no telling what they want to do with them. With both of you here with your customized Fei Yens, you can keep them in check."

"But..." Sousuke put a finger to her lips.

"I'm sorry, but there's no other choice. Besides, we're trying to build a world of peace am I right?" Blushing, Reika could only nod.

Sousuke removed his finger and stared out into the night sky.

"For a guy like me who has only known war, I have no place in such a world. It would be best if I'm the one to end it as the last of the CYPHER."

"Sousuke..." Sousuke could only look incredulously as even Keiko began to break into tears. "Please don't leave us"

"Ne Ne. What do you think you are doing my dear imouto chans. Your aniki is about to create a better world for both you. So don't cry. That will just make your aniki sad."

A technician walked up to the three.

"Matsuki. He's ready for you sir."

Sousuke nodded. He then looked at the two crying girls.

"I have to go now. Be good and live good lives. Oh, and make sure that you marry guys that your aniki won't feel like beating the crap out of, you hear."

Both of the girls could only laugh at his words, trying to overcome their sorrow. Sousuke brought both of the girls into a hug and then gave each of them a kiss to the forehead.

"Don't forget that I'll always love you. Till the day I die."

With that, he left to go fulfill hs final mission.

-Flashback End-

'So this is the end.' he lazily thought as the the star continued to twinkle in the night. 'Its kinda peaceful actually.'

"Warning! Warning!" The computer began to beep.

'I know. I know. I'm going to die. Can't you just leave me in peace at a time like ths.'

"Unknown energy signals of massive proportions are headed this way."

"What?" Sousuke began to powerup his suit into full combat readiness.

"Energy signal is entering your range of vision. Please handle with extreme care"

'You don't need to tell me that' he thought as he watched a massive ship come into view.

'Woah! It looks like something out of sci fi movies Keiko loves to watch.' he could only stare in at the "advanced" (but not really) space shp.

'Could it belong to the aliens who built the moon gate?' He watched the ship rapidly approach his location.

'I guess we're not quite done yet Temjin ole buddy.' Sousuke thought as he brought his systems back to life and charged the gigantic war machine.

....... Bam!


Only to slam face first into an invisible wall....

 

[Kerrus]

1:22 TFFS Soyokaze Sickbay

It was with a dull thrum that Kerrus materialized. Briefly checking to make sure everything was intact, he took notice of his surroundings, hoping to spot the soon to be 'requisitioned' crew member. Instead, he found himself looking at boxes... and boxes... and boxes. Fortunately, they were closed, and unlabeled, though Kerrus couldn't help but put his hand in the top of one.

No blood hungry demon spawn nipped his fingers off, but instead he felt the raised portion of text on a paper collection of some sort. A familiar text.


"Oh, God, I'm in the Yaoi Closet," he remarked. Fortunately, there was a door right next to him. With a little energon and a lot of luck, he managed to haul the door open without further breaking anything, and emerged into sickbay proper.

And sure enough, there was a vulpine female, whom the computer had identified as being named kitten. And there, chasing her was Eterna. Kerrus paused for a moment to take in the sights, and to ponder the incongruous nature of Kitten's name and identity. And then something occurred to him, a spot of logic that he had not previously identified. His Universal Communicator was damaged, perhaps beyond repair. Instead of translating, it translated just about everything.

Kerrus hit a switch on the back, cutting power, and replayed the computer's analysis of the vulpine female.

"Gender, female. Race, unknown though likely descended from the felinoid achitects of *#&&^$^$^," the computer said, the garbled race name proving that his translator was off. "Name: Koneko. Age: Unknown. Location: Sickba-*-Corridor C30-*-Junction twelve-*-moving at erratic speeds-*-Corridor C34-"

Kerrus cut the computer off, having already dived into motion. The girl, Koneko, had somehow managed to open the sickbay doors and dash off, and Eterna was in hot ursuit. Down the corridors they went, left turn, right turn, BRICK WALL!

While Koneko's alien physiology enabled her to merely bank and run up the wall, and Eterna's coffee induced caffeine rush enabled her to follow, Kerrus had no such luxury. So instead he forcibly refrained from whimpering as he slammed through several tonnes of bricks. Such an impact would have smeared a lesser man, but this was Kerrus. As he busted through the walls, he came to the startling realization that this section of the ship was vaguely familiar. And then part of his mind decided to wonder why it was walled off.

The reason for the sealing of this area became abruptly clear as Kerrus found himself staring eye to.... what had once been the face of a dog, but was now a corpse.

It bared its teeth and growled.

Okay, make that an animate corpse. Though why the Soyokaze had a walled off science lab filled with zombie dogs was not something Kerrus felt too keen to answer. Instead, the words form his mouth were these.

"Why is it /never/ easy?" And upon finishing those words he snapped back, leaping out of range of the dog's lunge, and fired his hand weapon. The Type II phaser was old, a relic of a former age, but as it whined and fired, Kerrus was glad for its company. The first dog vanished in a haze of light, and the second in a flash of heat death. It was then that the phaser chirped to tell him it was out of battery power and promptly died. "One of these days, one of these days I'm going to kill them all..."

As Kerrus made his way out of the science lab, he pulled it up on the ship schematics, then sealed it, then vented the atmosphere. And then he vaguely wondered where Koneko and Eterna had gone.

Of course, it was then that Kerrus noticed something. The ship's symbol, a feature of older style vessels had changed. Previously it had been the now standard TFF symbol of a pair of F's bracketing a T, though one of them would be upside down. Now it was a pair of F's bracketing a T with no change in vertical orientation.

 

[sidhereelmotion]

Sidhe's Office, Sickbay, TFFS Soyokaze
1:25 PM Ship Time

It was a very small room, just a supply closet, really, that Sidhe had appropriated for her use as Ship's Counselor. Crates of medical supplies filled the room, leaving only enough space for a threadbare green couch. Upon the blank walls, posters had been hung. They were hand-drawn with uplifting slogans like "You can do it!", "Keep trying!", and "The universe is... Love and Peace!"

Sidhe sat perched upon a crate, since the couch's ARMEDLORD (Automatic Restraint Minimizing Every Disturbance 'Less Otherwise Rightfully Directed) system that Zeni installed only recognized Sidhe most of the time. The remaining occasions led to embarrassing rescues by either Zeni or Eterna. As she sat, Sidhe looked over the Doll Ambassador's record.

"Poor Ambassador Shiakou," she mused, "he's been so lonely, being away from his people so long. Maybe a tea party.. And the children's clothes that were to cute for the Gothans..."

A pleasant voice interrupted her. "Sidhe-chan?"

Sidhe set aside the records and responded, "Yes, Tachi-chan?"

Kamaitachi, the sickbay's whimsical majordomo AI reported, "There is an unauthorized crewman in Storage Closet B. Danger! The intruder is armed!"

"Tachi-chan, is there anyone else in the infirmary?"

"Negative, CMO Eterna and her patient left with Vice-Captain Locke some time ago. May I please kill the intruder?"

"No, passive measures, please. And please notify security."

Sidhe waited, and once Tachi-chan had lured the intruder away with a hologram of the CMO and her patient, Sidhe peeked out of her office. The sickbay was a mess.

Sidhe groaned. "Oh no... Tachi-chan, please lock down the infirmary until I have this clean and the CMO returns."

Kamaitachi spoke with a flat tone, "Authentication, please."

"Do I have to? That's so embarrassing!" Sidhe whined.

"Authentication, please."

Holding her fists side-by-side in front of her, Sidhe began to sing, "Little Bunny Foofoo hopping through the forest..."

When Kamaitachi stopped laughing, it replied, "Confirmed. Security will redirect subsequent transports. Releasing the Sickle Weasels!"

 

[Cyberscythe195]

In space, Outside of the TFFS Soyokaze
1:26 PM Ship Time


Systems Rebooting

Now Performing System Analysis

...

All Systems Functional

Activating

"Urgh!" Sousuke groaned as the mech finally finished booting up.

'Dammit. Sometimes, I wish I wasn't so damn stubborn. I should've at least upgraded the OS like Keiko imouto chan told me to. Friggin Vista took forever.'

"Computer, scan the ship. What caused that impact?"

Scanning

...



Scan completed. It was caused by a malfunction in the ship's artificial gravity systems. It created a momentary gravity wall the moment you charged the ship.

'Don't I get all the luck.'

Sousuke began to move his mech closer to the gargantuan ship.

Approaching Ship Hanger

"Alrighty then. Time to walk into a foreign ship full of unknown entities that are probably technologically, physically, and intellectually more advanced than I am with nothing more than a pale immitation of their mecha, two handguns, some grenades, and a knife...."

Sousuke just stared at the entrance hanger.

"I should really stop trying to copy Halo 4. It's not realistic to charge into an alien homeworld equipped with only a pair of pants and a plastic spoon. It's even less realistic to blow up the whole planet with only those two things for the whole entire game... on legendary"

He continued to stare at the hanger.

"Maybe I should walk away. If I'm lucky, they might not be headed to Earth in order to assimilate the whole human population into a race of cybernetic androids headed by some matriarchal figure."

He sighed.

"The things I do to for my imouto-chan."

Charging up his energy sword, he began to pry the hanger doors open. After a few moments, he succeeded.

'Seems like no one's here.'

He began to look around.

'That's good. No one's around and nothing has tried to kill me yet. Now, where to find the ship's engine room...'

*Swish*

A door opened.

Sousuke narrowed his eyes and got ready to open fire on this newcomer... only to pull out his knife instead.

'FOOD!'

It turns out that the newcomer was a rabbit...

'FOOOOOODDDDD!' Sousuke began to slowly make his way towards his unsuspecting meal.

'YES!' He lunged.....

....

It lunged back.

-One long extremely bloody and violent fight scene later-

The hanger (or what was left of it) was in complete disarray. Steel scraps were littered the floor. The whole area was covered in flames. The ceiling was falling apart due to the intensity of the battle. Blood was splattered all over the walls, floor, and remains. It was like a futuristic hell.

Amidst the destruction and carnage, a young man drenched in blood, bearing a number of wounds, roared victoriously. He had his right hand pointed towards the ceiling in a victory pose. In his hand was a knife and on the knife was a rabbit.

'You can't fight the food chain motherfucker.' He thought as he began to walk over to one of the nearby flames to roast his prize.

*Swish*

He swiveled to get a look at his next possible adversary.

'.... Oh fucking hell.'

It was a rabbit.....

.................................... Times 37

He stared at the bunnies, then his prize, and then at his inventory.

'... Why does God hate me?' He sighs.

He pulls out a grenade, pulls out the pin, stuffs it into the dead rabbit's mouth, and throws the rabbit at the other rabbits.

Seeing no immediate danger, they watched one of their dead brethren approach them from the skies.

*Boing!*

A miniature black hole appeared and sucked all of the bunnies (as well as other debris) into its vortex. After a few seconds, it then winked out of existence.

.... Sousuke stared.

'There went my meal, my handgun ammo, and the last of my vorpal grenades.'

He sighed again.

He then began to limp towards the nearest hallway....

"Whaaa!"

Only to fall into a trap door as he entered the first hallway.