Revisted Idea: The baby who lived. A crack fic where Volde's downfall was about 10 later and Harry's still a baby. The wizarding world being as incompetent as it is decides to send their savior to Hogwarts at the age of 1.5, Everything mostly plays out the same but with a baby Harry, Hermione being the only sane person is wondering what the fuck a baby is doing at Hogwarts. Harry still beats all the trials from the books because of his luck.
Re-posting an old idea. Feel free to add more snippets, here are the ones I already got:
And one from WhiteWhiskey:
I may post more later if I grow tired of procrastinating.
Re-posting an old idea. Feel free to add more snippets, here are the ones I already got:
Snape: Potter, still a drooling idiots I see, just liike your useless father.
Harry :lol: :Goo Goo. (Drools)
Hermione: He's still a baby Professor I doubt that he would know much other than how to drool.
Snape: Heh, well Potter it looks like even your little girlfriend has abandoned you for you incompetence.
Hermione:? :sick2: Prof. That's sick! he's-
Snape: Potter lets see if your head is as empty as your little girlfriend says, What's the main ingredient in snufilufigusexpialidocium? :evil2:
Harry: Achoo! (sneezes in Snapes face)
Snape? :angry: : Correct, the main ingredient is mucus and spittle. 10 point from Griffindor for being a know it all and answering my question correctly now have your little girlfriend escort you out of my potions class.
Hermione:? ? why does this keep happening.? :angry: And stop calling me that it's gross!
Harry :lol: :Goo Goo. (Drools)
Hermione: He's still a baby Professor I doubt that he would know much other than how to drool.
Snape: Heh, well Potter it looks like even your little girlfriend has abandoned you for you incompetence.
Hermione:? :sick2: Prof. That's sick! he's-
Snape: Potter lets see if your head is as empty as your little girlfriend says, What's the main ingredient in snufilufigusexpialidocium? :evil2:
Harry: Achoo! (sneezes in Snapes face)
Snape? :angry: : Correct, the main ingredient is mucus and spittle. 10 point from Griffindor for being a know it all and answering my question correctly now have your little girlfriend escort you out of my potions class.
Hermione:? ? why does this keep happening.? :angry: And stop calling me that it's gross!
Hermione: (carries Harry out of the tent)? :huh!: Is that a dragon?
Dragon: Roar! (Who the hell are you!? Oh, what a cute little baby :wub: ! So your a mother do you have any advice for an expecting one?)
Hermione: :huh!:
Dragon: Roar! (Oh yes I guess experience is the best teacher. Do you mind if I have a closer look at the little dear?) [picks up Hermione and Harry and takes them to her nest.]
Harry: Shiny! (picks up egg)
Dragon: Grrr! (Oh dear how did that get there, well it's not an egg or least one of mine you can keep as a toy for the little one. Huh, looks like the keepers are coming I guess I have to get going, see you soon hope we can have a play date next time!) [dragon walks away]
Hermione:? :mellow: Playdate? Wait how the hell did I understand that?
Dragon: Roar! (Who the hell are you!? Oh, what a cute little baby :wub: ! So your a mother do you have any advice for an expecting one?)
Hermione: :huh!:
Dragon: Roar! (Oh yes I guess experience is the best teacher. Do you mind if I have a closer look at the little dear?) [picks up Hermione and Harry and takes them to her nest.]
Harry: Shiny! (picks up egg)
Dragon: Grrr! (Oh dear how did that get there, well it's not an egg or least one of mine you can keep as a toy for the little one. Huh, looks like the keepers are coming I guess I have to get going, see you soon hope we can have a play date next time!) [dragon walks away]
Hermione:? :mellow: Playdate? Wait how the hell did I understand that?
Rita: So Mr. Potter do you have any romantic relations with anyone?
Harry: Romamoma whatsits?
Rita: Do you like anyone Harry?
Harry: Yeah I wub 'Mione!
Rita: I see and how far have you progressed your relationship?
Harry: ???? :unsure:
Rita: :sigh: How far have you gotten, sleeping together, kissing, Bathing?
Harry: Oh thad, Yeah! Homione is teh Bestest!
Rita: :evil2:
Newspaper: Granger Seduces the Boy Who Lived!
Hermione: What the hell is wrong with everyone!
Dumbles: Ms. Granger it's disappointing that yours and Mr. Potter's relationship has progressed this far with out commitment . Fortunately It will be rectified that as with the marriage laws, Congratulations the Soon-to-be Mrs. Potter!
Hermione: What!? :rant:? What did you say you Andropausal, senile, perverted, dottering old git!? :spank:? Why do you still believe this it's all lie!? Nothing in that paper is the slightest bit true!
Ron: (looks up from food) So you don't love Harry?
Hermione: NO!
Harry:? :blue: 'Mione?
Hermione: Oh, Harry honey, I'm so sorry come here and let me make you feel better. (kisses Harry's forehead)
Everyone: Le Gasp!
Hermione: Oh grow up you sickos! :angry:
Harry: Romamoma whatsits?
Rita: Do you like anyone Harry?
Harry: Yeah I wub 'Mione!
Rita: I see and how far have you progressed your relationship?
Harry: ???? :unsure:
Rita: :sigh: How far have you gotten, sleeping together, kissing, Bathing?
Harry: Oh thad, Yeah! Homione is teh Bestest!
Rita: :evil2:
Newspaper: Granger Seduces the Boy Who Lived!
Hermione: What the hell is wrong with everyone!
Dumbles: Ms. Granger it's disappointing that yours and Mr. Potter's relationship has progressed this far with out commitment . Fortunately It will be rectified that as with the marriage laws, Congratulations the Soon-to-be Mrs. Potter!
Hermione: What!? :rant:? What did you say you Andropausal, senile, perverted, dottering old git!? :spank:? Why do you still believe this it's all lie!? Nothing in that paper is the slightest bit true!
Ron: (looks up from food) So you don't love Harry?
Hermione: NO!
Harry:? :blue: 'Mione?
Hermione: Oh, Harry honey, I'm so sorry come here and let me make you feel better. (kisses Harry's forehead)
Everyone: Le Gasp!
Hermione: Oh grow up you sickos! :angry:
whitewhiskey said:
Harry: 'Mione, 'Mione, lookit lookit *holds up a glass jar with a stick, leaf and a bug* I catched a big bug.
Hermione: *stares at the bug a moment, then takes the jar* Very nice, honey, let me just make sure that you won't lose it *charms the jar* there, now the glass won't break, even if you shake and drop it. Now go and wash up for dinner, Harry. I think we're having that pudding you and auntie Luna like.
Harry: Yay! *runs up the stairs*
Hermione: *turns to the jar* :evil: Hello, Rita, Harry and I will have to get to dinner, but don't worry. Once I put Harry to bed, you and I can have a little...Talk.
Hermione: *stares at the bug a moment, then takes the jar* Very nice, honey, let me just make sure that you won't lose it *charms the jar* there, now the glass won't break, even if you shake and drop it. Now go and wash up for dinner, Harry. I think we're having that pudding you and auntie Luna like.
Harry: Yay! *runs up the stairs*
Hermione: *turns to the jar* :evil: Hello, Rita, Harry and I will have to get to dinner, but don't worry. Once I put Harry to bed, you and I can have a little...Talk.
I may post more later if I grow tired of procrastinating.