The Generally Bad Story Thread

Oni_Rinku

Knower of Stuff
#1
So I found a pretty bad story and wanted to share it but because it's a Justice League fic, there was no real spot to put it so I'm creating this for any bad story to be talked about. the first one is this.

Alien Magic
By: Unrealdean
A deadly assassin heralds the death of old ideals and heroes are forced to accept a new world while dealing their their own short comings. reviews are welcomed. Declaimer : All characters are own by DC comics except original characters.
Rated: Fiction M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - [Clark K./Kal-El/Superman, Zatanna Z.] [Billy B./Captain Marvel/Shazam, Diana of Themyscira/Wonder Woman] - Chapters: 27 - Words: 112,266 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 11 - Updated: Mar 25 - Published: Jan 18, 2016 - Status: Complete - id: 11739779

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11739779/1/Alien-Magic

This story has a lot wrong with it; but the worst is the OC Mary Sue Villain, of all things, that the author tries to make sympathetic. I've seen quite a few Mary Sue's out there, but this is the first time I've seen one as the Villain.

Edit: So it turns out that the author took down the story in order to re-write it, so I'm going to see how the re-write is.
 
Last edited:

Oni_Rinku

Knower of Stuff
#2
This is something that I think could have potential, but out of no where introduces Leather Pants Draco. The characters also feel as if they're really bad middle school theater art students reciting lines from the script.

Ends and Means by HaruJam reviews
Whilst teaching Harry Occlumency, Snape and Dumbledore find a memory block in Harry's mind. 'For the greater good' they destroy the block in the hopes that Harry will become more powerful and be able to defeat the Dark Lord. Do the ends justify the means?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 25 - Words: 104,934 - Reviews: 1663 - Favs: 2,188 - Follows: 2,893 - Updated: Aug 8, 2012 - Published: Jul 29, 2007 - Harry P.
 

Oni_Rinku

Knower of Stuff
#4
About the Mary Sue villain: doesn't another series -Bleach to be exact- have a Gary Stu as main villain for most of the manga? :p
While it might, I never got into Bleach myself so I couldn't tell you.
 

MastaofBitches

Well-Known Member
#6
Pokémon: Lelouch of the Rebellion reviews
In a world without mecha, a pokémon trainer named Lelouch Lamperouge attained the power of kings and led a rebellion against the Britannian Empire. This is the story of the boy as he became a man. This is how he became Lelouch of the Revolution
Crossover - Pokémon & Code Geass - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Adventure - Chapters: 50 - Words: 233,159 - Reviews: 358 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 104 - Updated: Oct 2, 2010 - Published: Apr 20, 2010 - Lelouch L. - Complete
This had so much wasted potential, while the final arc was downright painful to read through. I had to stop and wonder to myself "was this even written by the same person?" I mean, it started going downhill when Red first showed up and then got to the point of almost no recovery when the Deoxys took over the plot.

Dragon Ball Z ARC: REWRITTEN by SaurusRock625 reviews
A rewrite of the previous story, Dragon Ball Z ARC. After hearing his friends calling him worthless and weak behind his back, Jaune Arc flees from Beacon. His trust in them broken, and his spirit barely holding on. But when he's transported to a new world with opponents stronger than the Grimm could ever imagine, what will he do? Will he give up? Or will he fight to survive?
Crossover - Dragon Ball Z & RWBY - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 22,773 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 184 - Updated: 15h ago - Published: Dec 27, 2017 - Goku, Jaune A.
Oh god, where to start with this one... How about with the fact that what the summary doesn't tell you that "Jaune" isn't really Jaune. He turns into a Frost Demon/Frieza race, acts nothing like himself and actually changes his name completely by chapter 7. It's not even written competently!
 

Oni_Rinku

Knower of Stuff
#7
I found another one last night.

The Story of Lightning and Wind by Kuma Akuma reviews
Naruto and Sasuke died in a battle with an unknown murderer. However, as they head to heaven, they come in contact with something they thought they would never meet. An angel. The mysterious girl sends them to the world of Fiore to relieve their lives as a Mage. What better place for them to land except Fairy Tail?
Crossover - Naruto & Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 60 - Words: 290,574 - Reviews: 409 - Favs: 1,008 - Follows: 982 - Updated: Dec 2 - Published: Feb 17, 2014 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Erza S., Mirajane S.
In this Naruto and Sasuke, from the end of the manga, are put in Fiore at the age of 12 (I think, the author treats time oddly) and are instantly found by the Gods of Wind and Lightning. From there they are trained in their respective God Slayer Arts and when finished with that, are taught two more types of Magic each.

After learning magic, they both leave their Gods and begin to travel? Again, the author isn't quite so clear on time, so there's no telling how long they were travelling. They end up in a city, decide to hunt a bounty and destroy a church in the process.

Then it gets stupid.

One of their targets gets killed and the other becomes possessed by Shukaku. Due to plot reasons Shukaku escapes with a hooded woman and the council of mages questions our two heroes.

Makarov, along with Erza and Mira, meet the two boys and suggest that they join Fairy Tail because of reasons. The two agree but Makarov seems surprised when they show up at the guild to join.

We then find out that Makarov is terrified of Naruto due to Kurama; who's power leaks out of Naruto when he sleeps.

From there the author attempts to integrate our Ninja's into Fairy Tail life in one of the most cliche ways I can think of, by having them train Natsu and Grey. (I will admit, he makes it work to a degree.)

Later in the story the Magic Council decides that, due to them fighting Lullaby, that they need to be punished and 'force' Naruto, Sasuke and Erza to fight in a S-Class tournament that's similar to the Chunin Exams. There we find out that mysterious Hooded Woman from earlier is really Mito Uzumaki, who somehow brought the Biju over with her and is focused on doing something. (I admit, I started to zone out here.)

Erza fights Yui Nii, otherwise known as Matatabi, and gets her ass kicked. Naruto get pissed off because him and Erza have just started a relationship and reasons.

This is where I quit reading, some 70k to 100k words in. If anyone knows if this gets better, then let me know.
 
Last edited:

MastaofBitches

Well-Known Member
#8
The Blue Rose Sword Hero by Gadget boy reviews
Eugeo met his end when he sacrificed himself to seriously injure the Administrator that had brought so much suffering in Underworld. But as Eugeo reunited with the Alice of his youth and started to fade away to the afterlife, he suddenly got Summoned to Melromarc to be this World's new Legendary Sword Hero. "Remember Kirito's words... stay cool." Saika at Picture
Crossover - Rising of the Shield Hero/盾の勇者の成り上がり & Sword Art Online/ソードアート・オンライン - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 127,371 - Reviews: 489 - Favs: 584 - Follows: 718 - Updated: 3h ago - Published: Feb 19 - Eugeo, Alice Schuberg, Naofumi I., Raphtalia
Holy shit is this fic a pile of hot garbage... It has some good ideas, but it just fails to execute them so badly, alongside the bad writing in general...

Apparently it was bad enough somebody else decided to make their own "Eugeo as the Sword Hero" fic: Rise of the Four Heroes
 

MastaofBitches

Well-Known Member
#9
The Same Coin by Nospe reviews
The Hikigaya parents are not around often, but what if they were never around? AU, no parents. Calmer/more collected Hachiman who has struggled throughout his life. What affect will these hardships have on Hachiman and those around him? Pairing? Read and see.
Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,151 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 318 - Updated: 9h ago - Published: Aug 19 - Hachiman H. - Complete
Is there any kind of story more disrespectful to the audience, than the kind where the last chapter is just "The whole fic was a dream. None of it happened."?
 

AoMythology

Apparently a report-er
#10
Is there any kind of story more disrespectful to the audience, than the kind where the last chapter is just "The whole fic was a dream. None of it happened."?
I would say Bashing, but some people like that shit, and I wouldn't call it disrespectful to the audience, only to the original material.

So, probably not.
 
Top