If Naruto had learned one thing in his seventeen years of life it was this: mankind would attempt to make alcohol out of just about anything.
"And what's that one," he said, pointing with a still mostly steady finger and a green bottle on a back shelf.
The barman was a dignified fellow, clad in a formal black suit. "This bottle, sir, is from the Land of Water. It is made from the fermented and distilled algae found inside the stomachs of giant whales. I am given to understand that several villages along the Eastern Coast specialise in its production."
Naruto squinted his eyes. "And people drink it?"
"No sir. Very rich people drink it."
"Ah," said Naruto, nodding. "In which case I take a... What does it come in?"
"I believe the traditional measure involves whale bone containers, holding approximately five shaku. In this case, sir, I'd recommend a single shot glass."
"Make it so."
The barman coughed, the very picture of a gentleman's gentleman. He rested a single hand on the bottle but made no other indication that he would pour it. "While I will of course be happy too, sir, there is the matter of cost. This drink is one of our more expensive items. Fifteen thousand ryÅ."
"Why, of course," said Naruto, a slightly too-wide smile on his face. He pulled out his wallet and looked inside; only three forlorn notes waved back. Naruto blinked, scowled and blinked again. The wallet remained resolutely empty. That wasn't right. It had started the night full to bursting, flush from the troupe's latest performance, and he hadn't spent that much. There'd been the two bottles of wine, shared with some quite shapely company... Then there'd been the red bottle, then the orange bottle (he'd liked the orange bottle), the blue bottle... Okay, perhaps there had been a lot but.
"I, um," he said.
The barman took his hand off the oh-so-interesting green bottle and turned his full attention towards Naruto. "If sir is done for the evening, perhaps he would care to withdraw to his room?"
"Tab?" said Naruto, a hopeful smile on his face.
"I'm afraid not, sir."
"What if I..." The barman's look drove Naruto back to silence.
"This one will be on me." A fifteen thousand ryÅ note appear on the bar.
Naruto beamed like the sun and turn about the face his new best friend in the world. What he saw made him frown slightly.
A Konoha ninja stood behind him, wearing the standard formal uniform: a grey-blue military shirt, with a high round collar and pockets over the breast. He wore a forehead protector and a wakizashi on his hip. That just didn't seem fair. The bouncer had forced Naruto to relinquish his knives, for all that he'd insisted they were Clan artifacts. But, of course, the normal rules didn't apply to the Land of Fire's vaunted protectors.
"Thank you," he said, voice a touch less than genuine. If the ninja noticed, he didn't take offence.
"I'm Sasuke Uchiha," said the Ninja. "Am I right in assuming that you're Naruto Uzumaki."
The barman arrived with Naruto's green drink, held in a small shot glass. Naruto took it and knocked in back in a single gulp. It felt like cold fire, a thousand tiny ice-needles which shot into his tongue and throat. It was easily one of the most revolting things Naruto had ever drunk. Maybe the ninja - Sasuke - would buy him another?
"I am Naruto Uzumaki," said Naruto.
"Good," said Sasuke. "I've been sent with an offer."
That was enough to put Naruto on edge. "What kind of offer? Bookings go through the troupe master, KÅchi Uzumaki, my uncle. You can find him in his room."
"We don't want to hire your troupe to perform; we want to hire you to perform seal work for us."
Naruto slammed the shot glass down on the bar. "It's always seals with you people, isn't it?"
Sasuke seemed momentarily taken aback. "I'm not sure I understand; the Uzumaki clan is famous for its FÅ«injutsu and you are said to be its greatest living master. I am authorised to offer you a significant amount of money."
"Seals, seals, seals," said Naruto. "It was never about the seals! Why can't you understand that? What is it this time? The Barrier Sensing System? The One Hundred and Twenty-Eight Heavenly Light Array?"
"I can't go into the details until I have your agreement, but I'm sure if you-"
"You see this." Naruto tapped the mask which hung on his shoulder, a grinning oni's face with a single horn. "This is the mask of the Death God. Only one person in the troupe will play this role and no other will wear it until I die. The Uzumaki are the keepers of our history, Ninja. The music, the dance, the songs, the rituals... That is what matter's, not seals. We know and perform the mythic history of the Godtime - the stories of the creation of the world, of great deeds and how we came to be. Do you even know what FÅ«injutsu is?"
Sasuke looked slightly off kilter at the apparent non-sequitur. "I have received training in FÅ«injutsu, yes. But I don't see-"
"So that's a no then," said Naruto and flipped the shot glass upside down, mostly so he could slap it again. "Seals are the crudest shadow of that mythic history, of our dances and plays. They are a shadow cast by a dancer against a wall, containing some truth, yes, but who watches the shadow and not the performer?
"Look at this." He drew his finger along the bar, leaving a tracery of green alcohol. In a few quick motions he marked out a complex seal, a mass of sealing script around a central spiral. "Do you even know what this seal is?"
"The Five Element Symbols Seal," said Sasuke. "An advanced jūinjutsu used to seal elemental chakra energies."
"Wrong," said Naruto. "Wrong, wrong, wrong. It's the story of the Five Elemental Sovereigns. Their birth." He pointed to the sealing script. "And their death." He pointed at the spiral. "When my troupe performs the The Lay of Five Elemental Sovereign, we call upon that story, that piece of myth from the Godtime before the world was Real. For that single hour, the divine walks the world again through us. I dance with each Elemental Sovereign in turn - Fire, Wind, Lightning, Earth, and Water - and I lead them down the spiral to the Underworld.
"That is what this seal is, the shadow of a reflection of what once was. That is why you ninja crave its power and that is why you waste it. So tell me, Sasuke Uchiha, what is it you want me to do? What does the great Leaf Village want me to debase this time?"
