The Perfect Lionheart of...

#1
You know me. You know that I have suffered to riff not just one, but two Perfect Lionheart fanfics which is really two more than any living human being should have to suffer through.

But there are other writers out there. Ones of the foulest, most horrific and depraved stories ever known. Long tracts of mindless drivel to justify atrocities undertaken by what only barely resembles characters.

This thread is for finding them, for pointing them out, for bringing them to justice, if you like. To find someone brave or crazy or stupid enough to tear these abominations a new one.

So to start off the fanfiction equivalent of the Nuremburg Trials, I present to you...

<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1088701/bttf4444' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>The Infamous BTTF4444.</a>

This author has dominated the Back to the Future fanfiction scene for almost six years, turning the section on FF.net into a fetid swamp. True, this is the same for most sections on FF.net but Back to the Future allows for particularly twisted and squicky fics, which BTTF4444 happily exploits.

Among his crimes:

-of Marty using the time machine to get his younger self to go ahead and skateboard to get a record he really wanted when he was 8. Which leads to Marty suffering a head injury that induces amnesia when he hits hit head... So when he goes back in time to 1955, he ends up marrying his own mother and becoming his own father. And his brother and sister's father too (because that makes sense, right?).
Only now he has a twin named Artie, who is apparently cheerful about be erased from existence just so his father is not in a creepy incestuous relationship with his own mother. But the timeline is not fully excised, oh no-It recurs in alternate universe stories, with NONE of the characters commenting once "HOLY FUCK YOU FUCKED YOUR OWN MOM!"

-Another story deals with Jennifer ceasing to exist because Marty screwed up somewhere in 1885. In addition, Marty has a new girlfriend who is the descendant of Clara Clayton, who was supposed to be raped by Buford Tannen and give birth to her ancestor. And she too is just fine with being erased from history!

-Jules and Verne visit the World Trade Center... On September 11th, 2001. And their memories are erased afterwards.

I could mention the poor punctuation, the plodding narrative, the flat, cardboard cutout characters, but I think just these things give you a look into a very disturbed mind.
 

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
#2
I wouldn't compare that person to Lionheart. Lionheart is not that bad.
 

Python453

Well-Known Member
#3
<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1370164/Kyuubi16' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Kyuubi16</a>.

Seriously, this guy makes Perfect Lionheart look good. Among the many attrocities he has committed, these are the few that really get me worked up:

1. He has pretty much crossed Naruto over with any series you can think of, including- but not limited to- Scooby Doo and Family Guy. Do not adjust your monitors, because you read both of those correctly.

2. Furthermore, in every one of his "stories", all the women want Naruto. Every. Single. Goddamn. Time. And every single goddamn time, there's a sex scene. And it leaves a really bad taste in your mouth.
 
D

Deleted member 5249

Guest
#4
<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2269863/Less_Wrong' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Less Wrong</a>

I don't think anything else needs to be said.
 

goldenarms

Well-Known Member
#5
<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/u/919491/pstibbons' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>pstibbons</a>

The knowledge of this person existing is a burden on my soul. And I personally hold Seiya responsible for this travesty.
 
D

Deleted member 5249

Guest
#6
goldenarms said:
<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/u/919491/pstibbons' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>pstibbons</a>

The knowledge of this person existing is a burden on my soul. And I personally hold Seiya responsible for this travesty.
Love you too Goldenarms.

Still. Pstibbons is nothing next to Less Wrong. I mean I've never wished death on a author until he appeared.
 

Python453

Well-Known Member
#7
goldenarms said:
<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/u/919491/pstibbons' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>pstibbons</a>

The knowledge of this person existing is a burden on my soul. And I personally hold Seiya responsible for this travesty.
:huh:

Umm... why?
 
D

Deleted member 5249

Guest
#8
Python453 said:
goldenarms said:
<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/u/919491/pstibbons' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>pstibbons</a>

The knowledge of this person existing is a burden on my soul. And I personally hold Seiya responsible for this travesty.
:huh:

Umm... why?
He was innocent until I linked the profile.

I send it to people for lulz because it's a spirit breaking profile. Just look how delusional this person is. She lusts over a fictional character and writes stories of her being raped and beaten.

Can't forget making Hermione a furry.
 

goldenarms

Well-Known Member
#9
Seiya said:
Python453 said:
goldenarms said:
<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/u/919491/pstibbons' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>pstibbons</a>

The knowledge of this person existing is a burden on my soul. And I personally hold Seiya responsible for this travesty.
:huh:

Umm... why?
He was innocent until I linked the profile.

I send it to people for lulz because it's a spirit breaking profile. Just look how delusional this person is. She lusts over a fictional character and writes stories of her being raped and beaten.

Can't forget making Hermione a furry.
Or making Ron suck his own dick. In a duel. Without detaching it or bending him over.

And that profile of hers... hand-typed. All 16,163 words of it (which equals to 36 pages in Word).
 
#10
<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/u/544647/gunman' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>gunman</a>

He's not horrifically bad, but he is a nonsensical bore who turns Shinji into a Gary Stu over and over again with ridiculous crossovers based on whatever he happens to like at the moment. And he just keeps writing it.
"Shinji is teleported to another universe, gains mystical powers, and marries an amazon maiden after defeating her in battle. ShinjixShampoo"
Pretty much all of his stories are some variation on that. Shinji gets superpowers, alt universe, hot girlfriend, etc. A good author could keep that interesting. He is not.

The weirdest and most nonsensical one? Shinji meets his "real" family... And Motoko Kusanagi (aka The Major from Ghost in the Shell) is his "real" mother.

Yeah, you heard me.
 
#11
Eh Gunman isn't too bad in small doses.

To me <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/u/979159/VFSNAKE' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>VF Snake</a> is the one that's really,really annoying. He takes the traits you don't like with Gunman's writing and adds in "Everyone Naruto knows is really eeeeevil" and makes Naruto a lame cut out with extreme power.

Or Luke Skywalker.

It gets rather old, extremely quick.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#12
I liked a few of his, but disliked others...

Digital Love, Hot Rain, and Bruises come to mind as some of the better ones.
 

FinalMax

Well-Known Member
#14
<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/u/523361/MadHat886' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>MadHat886</a>

I really shouldn't have to expound on why this guy is bad, but I will. Take any series with a bevy of women, or a male MC that might have a bit of the short stick in life. Now imagine the women have all sprouted earthball sized breasts while supposedly having hourglass figures, and that the male MC is constantly fucking women with those dimensions. That's the general foundation of this person's "stories." And there will be chapters upon chapters of scenery chewing that lead nowhere, at all.

MadHat886 is the only person I've ever encountered who has effectively plagiarized himself, and that's because of the Overlord Ranma and Overlord Shinji things. When it's practically word-for-word identical, there's an issue.
 
#15
TheKinginRed said:
By the way, Pstibbons got rid of that massive profile of hers.
<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/u/919491/pstibbons' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>she did?</a>
 

TheKinginRed

Well-Known Member
#18
Really? I've seen profiles twice as long as that, so maybe it's just me.
 

seitora

Well-Known Member
#19
FinalMax said:
<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/u/523361/MadHat886' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>MadHat886</a>

I really shouldn't have to expound on why this guy is bad, but I will. Take any series with a bevy of women, or a male MC that might have a bit of the short stick in life. Now imagine the women have all sprouted earthball sized breasts while supposedly having hourglass figures, and that the male MC is constantly fucking women with those dimensions. That's the general foundation of this person's "stories." And there will be chapters upon chapters of scenery chewing that lead nowhere, at all.

MadHat886 is the only person I've ever encountered who has effectively plagiarized himself, and that's because of the Overlord Ranma and Overlord Shinji things. When it's practically word-for-word identical, there's an issue.
Try reading Heir to the Throne.

It's like 5% story, 95% him introducing more and more crossover characters.
 

FinalMax

Well-Known Member
#20
seitora said:
FinalMax said:
<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/u/523361/MadHat886' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>MadHat886</a>

I really shouldn't have to expound on why this guy is bad, but I will.? Take any series with a bevy of women, or a male MC that might have a bit of the short stick in life.? Now imagine the women have all sprouted earthball sized breasts while supposedly having hourglass figures, and that the male MC is constantly fucking women with those dimensions.? That's the general foundation of this person's "stories."? And there will be chapters upon chapters of scenery chewing that lead nowhere, at all.

MadHat886 is the only person I've ever encountered who has effectively plagiarized himself, and that's because of the Overlord Ranma and Overlord Shinji things.? When it's practically word-for-word identical, there's an issue.
Try reading Heir to the Throne.

It's like 5% story, 95% him introducing more and more crossover characters.
I did try, that's part of the whole "non-existent story going nowhere" bit.
 

Takerial

Well-Known Member
#21
Seiya said:
<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2269863/Less_Wrong' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Less Wrong</a>

I don't think anything else needs to be said.
Wait, what?

WHAT THE FUCK?

I was curious about it to see how far he's gotten in the actual timeline.

FUCKING 76 chapters, almost 450k shitty words, and he's not even through the FIRST FUCKING YEAR!

Oh holy fuck.
 

goldenarms

Well-Known Member
#22
Chaotic Symbolism said:
TheKinginRed said:
It's not 36 pages anymore is it?
A Copy and Paste to Microsoft Word has it at 29 pages. That is still pretty long.
Your settings are different. It's still 16,163 words long.

And King, I'm fairly certain the much longer profiles you've seen are coked to the gills with those "I'm a ___ so I must ___" and other copied junk.

pstibbons hand-typed hers. Even the one tiny section that she copied comes from a flash/java app that she created and wrote all the lines for, so yes, she still wrote all of her own profile. All 16,163 words of it.

That's... that's just insane.
 

Chuckg

Well-Known Member
#23
Takerial said:
Wait, what?

WHAT THE FUCK?

I was curious about it to see how far he's gotten in the actual timeline.

FUCKING 76 chapters, almost 450k shitty words, and he's not even through the FIRST FUCKING YEAR!

Oh holy fuck.
And for a dose of perspective, here's the Scholastic official wordcounts for all the HP novels.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - 76,944 words
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - 85,141 words
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - 107,253 words
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - 190,637 words
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - 257,045 words
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - 168,923 words
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - 197,651 words
 

Takerial

Well-Known Member
#24
Chuckg said:
Takerial said:
Wait, what?

WHAT THE FUCK?

I was curious about it to see how far he's gotten in the actual timeline.

FUCKING 76 chapters, almost 450k shitty words, and he's not even through the FIRST FUCKING YEAR!

Oh holy fuck.
And for a dose of perspective, here's the Scholastic official wordcounts for all the HP novels.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - 76,944 words
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - 85,141 words
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - 107,253 words
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - 190,637 words
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - 257,045 words
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - 168,923 words
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - 197,651 words
So by the time he's completely done with the first year (which is hard to say if he is close. I wasn't going to read it and only glimpsed at the last chapter to see if it was and it seemed like it might be possible.) he'll easily have written more than half of the entire 7 book series.

The first year which is the shortest of the books.

My fucking God. Someone, please make him stop.
 
#25
Takerial said:
So by the time he's completely done with the first year (which is hard to say if he is close. I wasn't going to read it and only glimpsed at the last chapter to see if it was and it seemed like it might be possible.) he'll easily have written more than half of the entire 7 book series.

The first year which is the shortest of the books.

My fucking God. Someone, please make him stop.
From what information I have, talking about AIs that runamuck should cause him to have nightmares and such.

And given I gave up on that story at chapter 10 or so I'm shocked he's still in the first year.
 
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