The White Devil of the Moon Chapter 2

bissek

Well-Known Member
#1
Disclaimer: I do not own MGLN or Sailor Moon

The White Devil of the Moon
By Bissek
Chapter 2
The Dark Senshi

Precia Testarossa opened her eyes slowly and turned her head weakly. She didnÆt know how long she and Alicia had been falling through the warped space between dimensions. In a way, the answer was useless û given the nature of the rift they had fallen into, they could potentially have been there a day and come out a century before she entered. Time and space had very little meaning in a dimensional breach, especially an uncontrolled one.

Had she succeeded? Had she made it to the lost world of Al-Hazard? Had she succeeded in her decades long quest to find the one place that might have the skills necessary to revive her beloved Alicia? Looking around, she saw that the capsule in which her beloved daughter had been sealed in for nearly twenty years was missing. Where had she gone?

A man walked into the room. He looked down at her with a contemptuous glare.

ôSo, youÆre awake.ö He noted. ôGet up.ö

When Precia didnÆt obey his command quickly enough, the man gestured, and her body erupted in pain.

ôI said, get up.ö He repeated. Precia painfully climbed to her feet.

ôI am General Jadeite, a servant of Queen Beryl. You will address me as sir.

ôYou have trespassed in my QueenÆs domain. We could easily kill you for this affront, but the Queen has decided that you might be of use to her. She has noted that you have considerable magical strength. You will be using this to strengthen our forces.ö

ôWhat makes you think you can dictate terms to me?ö Precia snarled angrily, just before collapsing onto the ground as she screamed in pain.

ôI can order you around for two reasons. First, because I hold the control spell for the pain collar that Queen Beryl placed around your neck. Second, because you wouldnÆt want anything to happen to that girl you showed up with, would you?ö

ôAliciaàö Precia gasped. ôWhat have you done with my daughter?ö

ôNothingà yet. But if you persist in defying us, your little girl may pay the price for your foolishness. Am I understood?ö
Precia didnÆt like it. She didnÆt want to serve these people, but so long as they were holding Alicia hostage, she didnÆt have any choice. She would have to play along until she enough about these mages to know how to face them using Mid-Childan magic. Once she did, she would get her revenge.

She bowed her head. ôYes, sir.ö


The Senshi were rather disappointed with MamoruÆs mixed success. Yes, he had managed to make contact with the princess, but the girl known as Fate had ensured that the only thing that he had managed to do during that contact was exchange names. TheyÆd never be able to awaken the princess at this rate.

ôHow did Fate figure out that you were working with us?ö Rei asked.

ôShe said that her dog smelled Luna on me. Though IÆm not sure how the dog told her. She just stepped out of the store and knew what was going on.ö Mamoru admitted.

ôIn that case, I think I see a way around this.ö Ami said. ôLuna, youÆre going to have to move into the Command Center for a while.ö

ôWhy?ö Luna asked.

The Senshi Command Center, while technically the SenshiÆs main base, went unused most of the time. This was due to the fact that despite it holding a great deal of useful equipment from the Silver Millennium, Luna and Artemis had made a very poor decision regarding where to build it. Having the base in a hidden sublevel of a popular arcade meant that nobody would notice if a bunch of girls travelled to the building it was located in regularly. Hiding the entrance to the base behind a popular game machine in the arcade proper meant that there was no way to enter or leave it during normal business hours without drawing a great deal of attention to oneÆs self. People tend to notice things like a cat walking up to a video game console, speaking a command in an extremely obscure dead language, and the machine moving aside to reveal a staircase. As a result of this, until such time as they could figure out how to make a less conspicuous hidden entrance, it was only possible to get in there late at night, and anyone still there in the morning would be stuck there all day. Luna didnÆt really want to be stuck down there by herself for an indefinite period of time if she didnÆt have to.

ôThe dog identified Mamoru by LunaÆs scent. So long as we spend a great deal of time with her, the dog will be able to smell Luna on us. IÆm sorry, Luna, but if any of us is to get close to the princess, weÆll have to spend as little time with you as possible for the near future.ö

Luna hated to admit it, but Ami was probably right. Fate would be watching for Mamoru now that she knew that he was associated with Luna. If they were to have any hope of contacting the princess, they would have to conceal that association. Strange as it might seem, the fate of the world could depend on how well the Senshi could purge their clothing and homes of cat hair.


Night fell upon Tokyo. The lights of the city began to go dark as its people began to go to sleep. But not everyone was sleeping, despite the late hour. Two figures stood on the roof of a hotel. There was a brief flash of light, and then one girl was suddenly wearing a different outfit than she had been a moment before. She swept the other girl into her arms and leapt into the sky.

Fate held Nanoha tightly as she flew upwards. The thing that hit Nanoha the hardest when she was injured was the possibility that she might never recover enough to be able to control a flight spell. So one thing that Fate did for her friend on occasion while she recovered was to return her to the sky she so loved.

As they floated above the clouds, Fate glanced down at her friend. This was the place she truly belonged, and Nanoha would recover to the point that she could return here on her own. Fate would see to that.


Sailor Mercury was standing on a rooftop near the hotel where her princess resided, watching for anything that might provide some inspiration as to how to contact and awaken her. The idea she had come up with of isolating Luna wasnÆt a solution, it was just removing one potential liability to any plan to awaken the princess: That the dog could tell if anyone had been in close contact with Luna in the recent past. It didnÆt help to actually locate the princess, as they knew nothing of her habits other than an occasional interest in shopping. The girls had all been spending what time they could spare in the afternoons in the vicinity of the princessÆs residence for the past week, but none of them had crossed her path since MamoruÆs aborted contact.

As she watched and scanned, she saw two figures step onto the roof of the princessÆs hotel. Setting her visor to zoom in on the location and her computer to record what she saw, she focused her attention there. So she was watching as Fate suddenly changed outfits and carried the princess into the skies bridal-style.

Where was Fate taking the princess? And why? Mercury wanted to know the answers to that, but since she couldnÆt fly after them, the best she could do was to try to keep track of them with the Mercury ComputerÆs scanner.

An hour later, the two returned, and went back inside. Mercury was no closer to figuring out the point of that excursion then than she had when they had left. She would have to upload the recordings to the computers in the Command Center and see if they could decipher something.


Minako stepped into the dress shop. Her search for the princess had been a total failure so far, and she needed to get out of the sun. Besides, she could always take a look at some of the outfits they had while she was there. As she looked around, she saw two girls a little older than her looking at some dresses that resembled the description that Luna and Mamoru had provided of the princess and her companion. There was no sign of the dog, but that could just be because they didnÆt want to bring an animal with them going into shops where a pet wouldnÆt be welcome. That meant she didnÆt have to worry about being identified by scent. Minako had been uncertain if smelling of a different Moon Cat would arouse the dogÆs suspicions.

The girl that looked like her princess was holding two similar dresses, holding one of them in front of her after the other, trying to figure out which one looked better on her. Minako looked at the dresses and decided that neither of them really looked right on the girl. The cut of the dress was fine, it was just the colors just didnÆt really match her own coloration. Minako went to the dress rack the two girls were standing near and started looking through it. She was soon able to find another version of the dress in a more appropriate color.

ôWhy donÆt you try this one?ö She suggested, holding out the dress.

The two girls were mildly surprised by a third party entering their discussion, but they accepted the offer of assistance with a smile. The girl who might be the Moon Princess held the dress against her and smiled at the way she looked in the mirror.

ôTry it on, Nanoha.ö The third girl said.

The name was pretty much confirmation of what Minako had suspected. It was highly unlikely that there would be two girls the same age in the same area with the same first name. She had found them.

ôThanks for the help,ö The princessÆs companion added, holding out her hand. ôIÆm Fate.ö

ôMinako.ö Minako replied, taking her hand.

A few minutes later, the princess emerged in the dress that Minako had picked out. As she twirled in front of them to show off the dress, Fate commented. ôItÆs absolutely perfect. Thanks again, Minako.ö

The princess nodded in agreement. ôYou need to find something to wear to the wedding too, Fate.ö She pointed out.

ôWedding?ö Minako asked.

ôMy brother is getting married soon, and Fate and I donÆt have anything nice enough to wear to the wedding.ö

Minako could certainly understand that. What girl wouldnÆt want to wear a nice new outfit to a wedding? Minako cheerfully offered her services in helping to find the right dress for the princessÆs friend. As she did, her eyes met the princessÆs.


Nanoha glad to have someone offer to help with picking out an outfit for the wedding. She hadnÆt had much experience in shopping for clothing by herself. Since joining the TSAB full time, most of her wardrobe had consisted of uniforms, and the people at the wedding who didnÆt know about her job would have been very confused to see her show up in her dress uniform, even if she had thought to pack it, which she hadnÆt. If Hayate had been here it would have been much easier: She had the best fashion sense of the three Aces.

This Minako girl seemed like a nice person. As their eyes met, something inside her recognized the girl and added told her that this was someone she could trust absolutely.

Nanoha cheerfully accepted the MinakoÆs offer of assistance.


The moment MinakoÆs eyes met the princessÆs, the notion that the girl was really the Moon Princess went from strong belief to absolute certainty. Something inside her immediately registered that this was someone she had to protect. It was all she could do to not drop to one knee on the spot.

Resisting the urge to perform an act that would attract far too much attention if she did it in a dress shop, she started looking around for a dress that would suit her princessÆs companion.

Looking for the right dress for the girl took close to an hour. It would have been less, but for some reason Fate categorically refused to even consider the open-backed gown that was MinakoÆs first choice. Minako wasnÆt sure why Fate was so uncomfortable about people seeing her back, but she went along with her request.

Minako honestly enjoyed spending the afternoon chatting with the two as she looked for the right dress for Fate. After finally finding the right dress, the three went to a nearby cafÚ for snacks. As they entered, Nanoha stared intently at the case of desserts for a moment, and then turned to the cashier.

ôExcuse me, but I think someone needs to break up a fight in the kitchen.ö She said.

The cashier snorted. ôIf those two donÆt clean their act up soon, theyÆre going to be fired.ö Then she went back to try to break up the referenced fight.

Minako turned to Nanoha. ôHow did you know there was a fight going on?ö

Nanoha pointed to the dessert case. ôThe plates are shaking slightly. That used to happen when two girls who used to work at Midoriya started fighting with each other. I had to break them up every now and then. After awhile all I had to do was poke my head through the door and theyÆd immediately stop for some reason.ö

ôSo even at the tender age of eight, people still knew to fear the White Devil.ö Fate said teasingly.

Nanoha scowled. ôWhere did that nickname come from anyway?ö

ôVita was the one who coined it. I think she got it from that time when we visited Hayate at the hospital.ö

ôàOh. I suppose that makes sense.ö

Minako was really curious as to how a visit to someone at the hospital could result in a girl being justifiably dubbed the æWhite DevilÆ, but she was unable to get either of them to explain it.

After they had received their orders, Fate asked Minako what places there were nearby that she and Nanoha could see while they were in the area.

ôLetÆs see,ö Minako mused. ôThereÆs Tokyo Tower, of course. Then thereÆs several museums and some shrines. If you want something simpler, I know of a good arcade that my friends and I go to all the time.ö

Nanoha appeared to be interested in going to the arcade, so once they finished their snack they took a quick trip to drop off the dresses and then Minako guided the others to the Crown Arcade.


After Ami got out of her juku, she took a trip to the Crown Arcade. Inside the arcade was a Sailor V arcade machine. Ami was the current top scorer on that machine (Causing Rei and Makoto to be amused at the fact that Sailor Mercury was better at being Sailor V than Sailor V herself was).

Ami walked up to the machine and bent down to the coin slot. As she did so, she flipped open a small compartment next to the coin slot and placed a data chip containing the recording of the previous nightÆs events inside. Closing the compartment, she put some money in the machine and played a game. As Ami played, the data chip was transferred to the Command Center hidden behind the console and its contents uploaded to the computers inside.


Luna watched the playback and was horrified. She saw the girl who had prevented her from reaching the Moon Princess henshin into a different form, and FateÆs alternate form was like something out of a nightmare. Boots, gloves, and stockings in black with red trim. A black bodysuit with red trim and a pink miniskirt. The red eyes and ominous black cape didnÆt improve the image. Luna stared at the girl who was wearing what appeared to be an inversion of a SenshiÆs fuku and came to the only conclusion that made sense to her.

Fate was some kind of Dark Senshi, who was holding the princess prisoner. The reason the princess acted like she had been injured recently was due to whatever incident had enabled Fate to take the princess captive. Fate wanted to keep the Moon Cats away because she feared that they might be able to release the princess from her control. And given that, there was only one thing that Fate could possibly be after: the Ginzuisho.

Luna started to walk to the communications console to alert the Senshi of her discovery, when it started chiming. One of the Senshi was contacting her. Luna activated the console to see MinakoÆs face.

ôWhat is it, Minako?ö She asked.

ôIÆve come into contact with the princess.ö Minako reported.

ôAnd the other girl didnÆt interfere?ö

ôNo. The dog wasnÆt with them, so she just thinks IÆm a normal girl. WeÆre all here in the arcade.ö

ôGood work, Minako. I know what to do from here.ö

This provided an opportunity. If the princess played the Sailor V game, Luna would be able to provide her with the means to communicate without ever coming close to her captor. That would be the easiest way to free her. Luna padded over to the console that watched the arcade floor and waited.


The floor of an arcade could be a very noisy place, with the sounds of several dozen game machines mixing with the noise of players commenting on the events in the games and observers talking with each other. That evening, the Crown Arcade was strangely quiet. Most of the people there were too busy staring at the girl playing Sailor V with awe.

The Sailor V game was a difficult one. Nobody had ever beaten it. Nobody even knew how many levels there were. Most players couldnÆt get their score into six digits. The highest score anyone had ever achieved to the knowledge of the arcadeÆs regulars was 153,981, which had been scored by Ami Mizuno. NanohaÆs current score was 537,286 and still rising.

The reason for her incredible score was simple. The Sailor V game was secretly a training simulator, there to teach the Senshi how to fight. All of the machines that had been manufactured were a cover so that nobody would notice the one machine placed in a location where the Senshi could use it (The Senshi as a whole wished that they could use the trainer without having to pay for the privilege. Minako also wished that she could get a cut of the enormous amount of money poured into all the Sailor V machines in Japan).

Nanoha already knew how to fight as a magical girl. She had been fighting as a magical girl for years. She was a professional trainer of magical girls. Up until her collapse, she had regularly spent several hours a day in combat simulations, which required maneuvering in three dimensions, mental multitasking, and being able to do advanced mathematical computations and high energy physics in her head. While appearing to be concentrating on a totally unrelated task to any outside observer. Compared to that, a two dimensional simulation where all you need to perform any given action was to press a short button sequence was easy, once she knew what her game avatarÆs response time was.

The crowd stared as the score climbed higher and higher. People started wondering how close Nanoha could get to seven digits. After she quintupled the previous all-time high score, they started wondering if there was an upper limit to the score counter, and if she was going to hit it. This train of thought continued after Nanoha cleared 900,000.

Nanoha succeeded in reaching 999,999. Her audience erupted in cheers as the game transitioned to a game over screen and asked her to put her name in the high score list. As she entered ôAceOfAcesö into the machine, three thunks were heard from the prize dispenser on the machine. Nanoha reached into the dispenser and removed a pen, a brooch, and a pocketwatch.

Pocketing her prizes, Nanoha stepped away from the machine, to be greeted by a hail of congratulatory backslaps. Although they werenÆt very hard, the sheer number of blows to her injured spine caused her to stagger.


Minako watched Nanoha play Sailor V and felt herself go green with envy. It had taken her close to a year to clear 100,000 points on that trainer, still couldnÆt get above 120,000, and she was Sailor V. Yet this girl had blown past her best score without any effort on the first time she ever touched the game. But at the same time, this sight filled her with hope. If her princess was that naturally talented, then once she awakened her help would easily enable the Senshi to turn the tide against the Dark Kingdom and end the war once and for all. Then Nanoha beat the game. Minako hadnÆt even known that was possible. It was at that moment that Minako knew in her heart that the Senshi could actually win the war.

Then she saw Nanoha fall after receiving numerous congratulatory backslaps. As Minako pushed her way through the crowd to try to reach the princess, she saw Fate doing the same, concern clearly written on her face.

ôWhatÆs wrong?ö Minako asked.

ôNanoha injured her back recently. She still hasnÆt fully recovered.ö Fate answered as they helped the girl to her feet.

Minako cringed as the two helped Nanoha walk to the door. That wasnÆt good news. ôIÆm sorry this happened.ö

Nanoha smiled. ôThis isnÆt your fault, Minako. It was nice to meet you.ö

ôSame here.ö

As they made it outside, Fate called for a taxi, and then she and Nanoha got in for a trip back to their hotel. Afterwards, Minako started heading home herself. Her family would be wondering where she was if she wasnÆt seen at home for at least some of the evening.


Fate sat as she watched Nanoha sleep. Her friend had needed to lie down after what had happened at the arcade, and had dozed off shortly afterwards. A few minutes later, Fate heard a chirping noise. Fate frowned in annoyance. She didnÆt want anything to wake Nanoha up. Realizing that the noise was coming one of the shopping bags, she fished through it to find that the watch that Nanoha had won from the arcade machine was making it. Thinking that the watch had an alarm function that was going off, Fate walked to the next room to figure out how to disable it. What she found when she opened the watch wasnÆt something she was expecting.

ôYou!ö Luna cried out from the video screen on the inside of the watch cover.

ôThis is getting ridiculous.ö Fate commented wearily. ôWhy do you insist on harassing us?ö

ôYou know exactly why, you witch!ö

ôThereÆs no need to be insulting, cat. If you know who Nanoha is, you should also know exactly why she canÆt help you right now. If youÆd just calm down and explain what the situation is, I can try to get someone to help you.ö

ôYou wonÆt get away with this! We will free her from your clutches!ö With that the image of the cat disappeared.

Fate blinked. It seemed that in addition to being persistent, the mage that was after Nanoha was also mentally disturbed. She was also quite resourceful. Fate wasnÆt sure how the other mage managed to plant that communication device into the game machine and ensure that Nanoha received it. Other people at the arcade had commented that the machine dispensed prizes regularly, but dispensing a specific item to a specific person was an unlikely coincidence. But if one of the items was from the cat, the others might be as well. Fate located the other two items from the arcade and had Bardiche seal them. That would keep Nanoha from keeping a hold of them in case one of them had also been planted by the insane feline. She would turn them over to the research labs when she returned to Kranagan. If they turned out to be harmless or were disabled, then she could return them to Nanoha. As she closed her suitcase, she heard Nanoha stir.

ôIs someone else here, Fate? I thought I heard something.ö She asked.

ôYou must have heard the television, Nanoha.ö Fate lied. ôWhy donÆt we call for room service? ItÆs about time for dinner.ö


Precia entered the room. Finding where her captors had stored AliciaÆs stasis capsule wasnÆt hard. They didnÆt see any real reason to hide it. The stasis capsule was taller than Precia was, and as a result they didnÆt think she could pick it up and take it with her anywhere, at least not without drawing a great deal of attention to herself. And since Alicia would die within seconds if she left the stasis capsule before some method of reviving her was found, Precia didnÆt dare take Alicia without taking the capsule.

Her captors had been making her build weapons for them. Her skill in creating robots interested them, although they insisted that all of them possess the ability to use a spell from their own school of magic, rather than her own. A spell whose implications Precia considered absolutely fascinating. The concept of stealing life from a person and bestowing it on others could be the breakthrough she needed to save her daughter. And so she had managed to steal a small fragment of her captorÆs supply of stolen life energy for this experiment. If it worked, she could start working out how to acquire enough of it to fully restore her daughter after all these years.

Precia approached the capsule holding her dying child, the ball of energy in her hand. She carefully began a spell to transfer energy, and started slowly siphoning the stolen energy into her daughterÆs motionless form. Once she finished, she pressed her face against the capsule, desperately looking for the slightest evidence that AliciaÆs condition had improved. She waited, hoping that this had been the cure she had been searching for for so long.

And then, for just one moment, the fingers in AliciaÆs left hand started to twitch.


Omake: Jealous Device (Inspired by DCG and Belgarion213)

Nanoha succeeded in reaching 999,999. Her audience erupted in cheers as the game transitioned to a game over screen and asked her to put her name in the high score list. As she entered ôAceOfAcesö into the machine, three thunks were heard from the prize dispenser on the machine. Nanoha reached into the dispenser and removed a pen, a brooch, and a pocketwatch.

As Nanoha started to pocket her prizes, a womanÆs voice called out.

ôHands Off My Master.ö

Everyone looked around for the source of the voice, and was surprised when Nanoha pulled a red bead on a cord from under her shirt.

ôRaising Heart, what are you doing?ö She asked.

ôThis Is My Master. Get Your Own.ö The gem announced. Then the gem started to glow. A moment later, there was a flash of light, and the brooch exploded.

ôExplain yourself, Raising Heart!ö

ôI Am Your Device, Master. You Do Not Need Another.ö

Underneath the arcade, Luna noted that the Dark Senshi had an additional mechanism in place to control the princess. That necklace would have to be removed before the princess could truly awaken.


A/N: While most of the Nanoha events I have referenced come from the anime, the manga, or the Triangle Hearts OVA, one event mentioned here comes from a distinctly non-canon source: Fate taking Nanoha for flights during her recover came from a scene in Santa Sangre, a beautifully done (non-hentai) doujin trilogy about NanohaÆs collapse and recovery.

Many readers may not remember the age of gaming where most games didnÆt have an actual ending. In those games, the only way to æwinÆ was to max out the score counter (Assuming the game didnÆt start malfunctioning at this point). Depending on the game in question, this can take a very long time. IÆm assuming this could be done with Sailor V in an hour or two of continuous playing.

This story is now on the TvTropes recommended list for Nanoha fanfiction! Thank you for the recommendation, Comartemis.
 

Epsilon

Well-Known Member
#2
Can't believe nobody commented on this yet.

This is getting juicier and juicier. Can't wait to see the pot explode. Just out of curiosity though... will you strictly stick to NanoFate or will you make it as ambiguous as possible? I admit that I would rather prefer the latter as the behaviour of the NanoFate legion in general leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
 

BF110C4

Well-Known Member
#3
You know Luna is quite superficial, thinking that you are a Dark Magical Girl just by looking to her black clothes and cloak, it just shows that this is before some of the most 'colorful' enemies of the Sailor Scouts, with motifs like mad science and evil Circus appear.

They better hope that when they attack Fate Nanoha is in another town, because while Fate is going to be most than capable of taking down 5 untrained girls (I was going to say cheerleaders, but those actually train quite a lot) if Nanoha is there in tiome to see the end of the battle and Fate receives a K.O. strike (only with the help of Deus Ex Machina AND God), I bet you that the style of "Fire Magical Attacks Until your Enemy is Gone" is going to let more than enough mana for a Starlight Breaker, and even if there isn't that much energy in the air, well she is a veteran who is an expert in the Art of Magical Girl Warfare.
 

Megaolix

Well-Known Member
#4
BF110C4 said:
You know Luna is quite superficial, thinking that you are a Dark Magical Girl just by looking to her black clothes and cloak, it just shows that this is before some of the most 'colorful' enemies of the Sailor Scouts, with motifs like mad science and evil Circus appear.

They better hope that when they attack Fate Nanoha is in another town, because while Fate is going to be most than capable of taking down 5 untrained girls (I was going to say cheerleaders, but those actually train quite a lot) if Nanoha is there in tiome to see the end of the battle and Fate receives a K.O. strike (only with the help of Deus Ex Machina AND God), I bet you that the style of "Fire Magical Attacks Until your Enemy is Gone" is going to let more than enough mana for a Starlight Breaker, and even if there isn't that much energy in the air, well she is a veteran who is an expert in the Art of Magical Girl Warfare.
Except that, you know, the backlash from using SB will pretty much destroy any chance of recovery for her. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if there's a lock on Raising Heart, only to be opened in case of emergency.

Still, I agree on Luna. Maybe you wanted to make the whole mess a misunderstanding on both sides, but I now totally blame Luna for whatever happen next.
 

MWkillkenny84

Well-Known Member
#5
I agree with the others readers.
Luna is acting as her fanon counterparts... and well, as her anime!canon counterpart in her worse moments.
Ohhh, Precia has approached her final goal?
I'm glad. For Alicia.
If it work, Fate and Chrono will have a new little sister (adopted, in the male's case).
Vote: 10
 

BF110C4

Well-Known Member
#6
Megaolix said:
BF110C4 said:
You know Luna is quite superficial, thinking that you are a Dark Magical Girl just by looking to her black clothes and cloak, it just shows that this is before some of the most 'colorful' enemies of the Sailor Scouts, with motifs like mad science and evil Circus appear.

They better hope that when they attack Fate Nanoha is in another town, because while Fate is going to be most than capable of taking down 5 untrained girls (I was going to say cheerleaders, but those actually train quite a lot) if Nanoha is there in tiome to see the end of the battle and Fate receives a K.O. strike (only with the help of Deus Ex Machina AND God), I bet you that the style of "Fire Magical Attacks Until your Enemy is Gone" is going to let more than enough mana for a Starlight Breaker, and even if there isn't that much energy in the air, well she is a veteran who is an expert in the Art of Magical Girl Warfare.
Except that, you know, the backlash from using SB will pretty much destroy any chance of recovery for her. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if there's a lock on Raising Heart, only to be opened in case of emergency.

Still, I agree on Luna. Maybe you wanted to make the whole mess a misunderstanding on both sides, but I now totally blame Luna for whatever happen next.
But then thet have a really powerful Lost Logia capable of doing the whole Lazarus trick, so a little thing like a burned magical core should be able to be fixed, and the fact that those Sailor Scouts neutralized such a valuable asset as the White Devil is going to start a real riot with the TSAB and Hayate's Knights.
 

BF110C4

Well-Known Member
#7
Something I just realized is that if the Sailor V is a Training Aid, Nanoha should go to the Arcade at every chance due to the fact that she is an obsesive Compulsive training freak who should be impressed with a game that shows the basics of a Magical Girl so well with so many restrictions (she is used to the kind of simulators F-22 pilots and Delta soldiers can only dream about). At the very least there should be a comment about it.
 

Mercsenary

Well-Known Member
#8
hehehe... Im still imagining FULL POWER SUPER DESTRUCTION!

:D

Do not mess with Raging Heart for she is a jealous Device.

Oh poor Luna. Dont tell the Senshi to kidnap Nanoha. You wont like the backup that gets called in. Oh wait... Do. I want to see the carnage.
 

nick012000

Well-Known Member
#9
Odds that Nanoha will stumble across a Youma attack, try to help out, and then collapse coughing up blood after trying to use her magic (or possibly successfully using her magic)?

Which might segue into something like "She's poisoning the Princess! We have to rescue her!" :p
 

BF110C4

Well-Known Member
#10
Even bigger odds are that there is going to be a massive strike at the wedding of Nanoha's sister, one that make use of Precia's Magitech Youmas, the one place and the one time Fate cannot hide, remove or otherwise distract Nanoha.

And since Precia will need practice with the use of this life force the Dark Kingdom uses, those Youmas are probably going to have self repair capabilities and Particle Beam weapons, therefore needing mass amounts of damage in order to be destroyed.
 

trevelyan1983

Well-Known Member
#11
Wasn't a gatecrashed family gathering used to previously kill 98% of the Mikami and Fuwa practitioners?

Shiro, Kyouya and Miyuki's Mother will be . . . uh . . . vigilant. Not to mention the guests in attendance - Vampires, Cyborg Maids, Youkai Waitresses, sentient Magical Constructs and one or two top-flight combat mages.

Beryl and Precia might be in for a nasty surprise or two.

[Edited for redundancy.]
 

Tsukino_kage

Well-Known Member
#12
While the Sailor V game is a training tool for magical girl combat, as Bissek notes, it is a rather simplistic one. It's like taking the NES game Top Gun as a flight simulator. Superficially alike but far from the real thing. Or a better example might be someone thinking playing Street Fighter will make you a martial artist able to throw fireballs from your hands.

Precia gets points for being more rational than Beryl. Yes, she's nuts, but she's nuts in a different way than Beryl that actually lets her think. Beryl is pretty much a spoiled brat denied her toys. One with dangerously destructive power. If she had let Jadeite or Nephrite continue their operations in canon, they eventually would have gotten enough energy, but Beryl screwed herself and them due to her own impatience. She is her own worst enemy. Think female Hitler.

Luna here is the anime Luna, the one that jumps to conclusions far too often. For all the fact that the Senshi and Luna seem to think him a fool, Artemis showed far more common sense than she ever did. Far more determination and ability to plan too, he did fool her for months with the whole "Control" thing and he's the one that came up with using Venus as a decoy. He also gets an awesome episode where he beats up a Lemures, which normally takes the whole Inner Senshi to take down. And let's not forget that he lives with Minako. That alone means he has the willpower to withstand her insanity, and intelligence to counter her excesses. He needs more love. :blue:
 

seras

Well-Known Member
#13
Glad to see the second chapter, I can't wait till the next snippet!
 

Canis

Well-Known Member
#14
trevelyan1983 said:
Wasn't a gatecrashed family gathering used to previously kill 98% of the Mikami and Fuwa practitioners??

Shiro, Kyouya and Miyuki's Mother will be . . . uh . . .? vigilant.? Not to mention the guests in attendance - Vampires, Cyborg Maids, Youkai Waitresses, sentient Magical Constructs and one or two top-flight combat mages.

Beryl and Precia might be in for a nasty surprise or two.

[Edited for redundancy.]
-cut for redundancy-
 

BF110C4

Well-Known Member
#15
I wonder when Fate's patience is going to wear out, until now she has been quite passive with Luna's harrasment of Nanoha, but if they keep poking her with a stick she might as well go hunting them, and her Enforcer training means that even without the scent of Luna and the knowledge of Mamoru's face they will not last too long unless they try to hide both in the magical and convencional way.
 

Mercsenary

Well-Known Member
#16
BF110C4 said:
I wonder when Fate's patience is going to wear out, until now she has been quite passive with Luna's harrasment of Nanoha, but if they keep poking her with a stick she might as well go hunting them, and her Enforcer training means that even without the scent of Luna and the knowledge of Mamoru's face they will not last too long unless they try to hide both in the magical and convencional way.
"NOTHING CAN HIDE YOU FROM ME!"


"Oh Senshi, come out and plaaaay... Oh Senshi, come out and Plaaay..."
 

trevelyan1983

Well-Known Member
#17
"Shut Up! And Listen! I am Fate Testarossa, the Sword that Cleaves Evil."

'Cartridge Load.'

"There is nothing my Riot Zanber cannot cut!"
 

bissek

Well-Known Member
#18
I've just updated the chapter to include various grammatical corrections and correct one really stupid action of Fate's.

There is a lock on Raising Heart. I mentioned it in the previous chapter. Nanoha can't activate it without reciting the full activation speech, which she hasn't used since before she Befriended Fate.

Yes, Fate is trying to be reasonable, but Luna isn't listening. The Senshi could have gotten TSAB reinforcements by now if Luna had been willing to explain things. They might not have gotten their princess to aid them in the near future, but they still would be much better off.

Nanoha considers the Sailor V game to be easy, while all the Senshi consider it to be extremely hard. What this means when she learns that it's supposed to be a training simulator, is that she will decide that the Senshi are desperately in need of remedial training.

Fate didn't bring any cartridges. She's supposed to be on vacation. Of course, that just reduces the degree of curbstoming the Senshi will get if they come after her without a strategy.

Some help I would appreciate: I need plausible reasons for Fate to be separated from Nanoha so she can get into a fight with the Senshi. One of them needs to be something Nanoha could end up walking in on halfway through the fight.
 

Megaolix

Well-Known Member
#19
bissek said:
Some help I would appreciate: I need plausible reasons for Fate to be separated from Nanoha so she can get into a fight with the Senshi. One of them needs to be something Nanoha could end up walking in on halfway through the fight.
Someone coming for a day (like Miyuki maybe) to see Nanoha? Nanoha too tired to go out one day and tell Fate she doesn't have to stay in all day just for her?

As for Nanoha walking on it, how about Fate sensing something wrong while Nanoha is resting (from long walk or else)? Arf stay to distract Nanoha, but ultimately fail as Nanoha sense something is wrong when Fate is taking too long to come back.

Bonus points if she arrives just when the Senshi launch a powerful attack on Fate. She won't be able to do much, but maybe her anger will make Minako understand the White Devil name a little. :snigger:
 

randombugger

Well-Known Member
#20
I'd also have Minako want to have nothing to do with that foolish of a plan and try to stop it.
 

Megaolix

Well-Known Member
#21
randombugger said:
I'd also have Minako want to have nothing to do with that foolish of a plan and try to stop it.
Good idea. She's going to be doubtful of Luna's claim of manipulation after the time she spent with the two.

But I don't think she'll do nothing while Fate his kicking her friends around. She could apologize before joining the fight.
 

nick012000

Well-Known Member
#22
A thought: the problem is that Nanoha's Linker Core was damaged, right? As Sailor Moon, she wouldn't be drawing on her own Linker Core for power; she's be calling on the power of the Moon. Raising Heart would probably realize this if she activates the makeup case, either intentionally or accidentally. Nahoha probably would as well, if she uses any of Sailor Moon's magic, though she might not realize exactly where the power is coming from.

Now remember what Nanoha can do with the magic wasted during a magical battle between a few regular mages, and imagine what she might do with the power of an entire planet at her disposal. :snigger:
 

AbyssalDaemon

Well-Known Member
#24
bissek said:
Yes, Fate is trying to be reasonable, but Luna isn't listening. The Senshi could have gotten TSAB reinforcements by now if Luna had been willing to explain things. They might not have gotten their princess to aid them in the near future, but they still would be much better off.

Nanoha considers the Sailor V game to be easy, while all the Senshi consider it to be extremely hard. What this means when she learns that it's supposed to be a training simulator, is that she will decide that the Senshi are desperately in need of remedial training.

Fate didn't bring any cartridges. She's supposed to be on vacation. Of course, that just reduces the degree of curbstoming the Senshi will get if they come after her without a strategy.

Some help I would appreciate: I need plausible reasons for Fate to be separated from Nanoha so she can get into a fight with the Senshi. One of them needs to be something Nanoha could end up walking in on halfway through the fight.
This seems pretty damn out of character for Luna. Also how the heck are there any Senshi besides Minako or know Mamoru at this point? It took a mixture of Usagi's presence and the Dark Kingdom for all the others to awaken and she was pretty much responsible for holding them together early on.

While it's possible for the Senshi and TSAB to be at odds, the entire chapter seems to be forcing it by the characters on the SM side being replaced with their fanon counterparts and has events happening on the SM side that don't make much sense. Build things up, show both sides slowly trying to investigate each other, as well as working alongside and against one another.
 

Megaolix

Well-Known Member
#25
nick012000 said:
A thought: the problem is that Nanoha's Linker Core was damaged, right? As Sailor Moon, she wouldn't be drawing on her own Linker Core for power; she's be calling on the power of the Moon. Raising Heart would probably realize this if she activates the makeup case, either intentionally or accidentally. Nahoha probably would as well, if she uses any of Sailor Moon's magic, though she might not realize exactly where the power is coming from.

Now remember what Nanoha can do with the magic wasted during a magical battle between a few regular mages, and imagine what she might do with the power of an entire planet at her disposal.á :snigger:
Nanoha has physical trouble as well, remember? My brother stayed 3 months stuck in a hospital bed due to an accident and couldn't even walk by himself when he was finally out. Nanoha stayed 6 months in bed. Forget helping, her body won't hold.

@AbyssalDaemon

Isn't the question on the Senshi a bit late at this point? But I do agree on the forced part.
 
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