The White Devil of the Moon Chapter 3

[AbyssalDaemon]

I know that Luna and the Senshi are supposed to be under quite a bit of stress (though it would really help if you showed that in the story) but they still seem as if they're being forced into the stupid badguy role in the way that they're being written here. They are so far closer to being mocking parodies then anything similar to their canon counterparts in this so far.

You basically seem to want to get to the TSAB vs Senshi NOW, instead of building things up and it really screws up the characters to me on both sides.

...No offense meant by the criticism just that you seem to really be rushing things forward and that seems to be turning the story into another fanon!Senshi bash fic. Which is a shame given given that your other SM crossover was quite decent.

 

[bissek]

Actually, I was planning for the tension to defuse somewhat when Artemis decides to do the intelligent thing and actually explain what's going on.

After the wedding, anyway (Which no Senshi will be present at).

Edit: Now that I think about it, I can see a way for Venus to show up. Should I have her turn up at the inevitable brawl to show to Fate that not all the Senshi are blindly following the orders of a cat who doesn't think things through?

 

[Nanya]

Showing up at a brawl sounds fun to me.

 

[BF110C4]

If you can find a pausible way of her going to a party of a rich heiress who is going to get the best security money can buy, the groom and his family who are the best security of Earth that money can't buy, their family's friend who is the most powerful security agent currently on Earth, and the Enforcer's familiar, who is a pissed, recently injured and fully alert canine beast of sharp teeth and a sharper nose who must be furious to be defeated by a crazy and paranoid cat. All of them on Defcom 2, (Defcom 1 in the magical trio).

And let's not forget that during the scolding she gave to both Luna and the Senshi she must have been impregnated by the scent of the female cat in question.

On the other hand Minako got Ami and her information gathering tools, a magical artifact that creates damn perfect disguises, and a desperate need to talk to Nanoha AND Fate.

 

[Dark Knight Gafgar]

she must have been impregnated by the scent of the female cat in question

WHAT.

 

[BF110C4]

Just that she talked with Luna, so she must smell like her, that alongside the smell of Artemis means that Arf is going to know which group is she part of.

 

[David Alan Abramczyk]

Why do you think cats rub themselves against you? They do it to mark you with their scent.

 

[Sect]

Why do you think cats rub themselves against you? They do it to mark you with their scent.

And to get you pregnant.

 

[bissek]

If you can find a pausible way of her going to a party of a rich heiress who is going to get the best security money can buy, the groom and his family who are the best security of Earth that money can't buy, their family's friend who is the most powerful security agent currently on Earth, and the Enforcer's familiar, who is a pissed, recently injured and fully alert canine beast of sharp teeth and a sharper nose who must be furious to be defeated by a crazy and paranoid cat. All of them on Defcom 2, (Defcom 1 in the magical trio).

And let's not forget that during the scolding she gave to both Luna and the Senshi she must have been impregnated by the scent of the female cat in question.

On the other hand Minako got Ami and her information gathering tools, a magical artifact that creates damn perfect disguises, and a desperate need to talk to Nanoha AND Fate.

I was thinking of Minako finding the party, but not actually entering the grounds until after the fight began. At which point it is more practical to take whatever help you can get, and question the unexpected aid after the obvious enemies are gone.

 

[Megaolix]

If you can find a pausible way of her going to a party of a rich heiress who is going to get the best security money can buy, the groom and his family who are the best security of Earth that money can't buy, their family's friend who is the most powerful security agent currently on Earth, and the Enforcer's familiar, who is a pissed, recently injured and fully alert canine beast of sharp teeth and a sharper nose who must be furious to be defeated by a crazy and paranoid cat. All of them on Defcom 2, (Defcom 1 in the magical trio).

And let's not forget that during the scolding she gave to both Luna and the Senshi she must have been impregnated by the scent of the female cat in question.

On the other hand Minako got Ami and her information gathering tools, a magical artifact that creates damn perfect disguises, and a desperate need to talk to Nanoha AND Fate.

I was thinking of Minako finding the party, but not actually entering the grounds until after the fight began. At which point it is more practical to take whatever help you can get, and question the unexpected aid after the obvious enemies are gone.

Not a bad plan. How much time will she use to gawk when she see how many will stand up to fight? :snigger:

 

[staplesdex2]

Just out of curiosity, is there a time table on when the next chapter is gonna come out?

 

[BF110C4]

Good idea, and I want to see the face of Minako's went she sees the level of security, but I think that she should at least try to use her disguise pen (or mirror) to infiltrate the party...

... and be put under custody by the private security until the battle begins.