Things Member of the TSAB are not allowed to do

[MWkillkenny84]

I'm starting this list, and I hope for a good contribution from you all.

1) After the Nth accident, it's now strictly forbidden to toy with unknow clock-shaped artifact.
1a) Fate, please, can you give back the Cassiopea to Chao Ling Shen?

2) Because of a report from the Panversal Chief Assosiation, all attempts to use magic to do paperwork are now forbidden. Even Dumbledore don'use his magic to do IT, what's give you the idea of you can do it? So, work and suffer as we all do.

3) No, only because she is a magical girl you can't employ Sakura Kinomoto into our forces. Not to mention Tomoyo Daidouji, Kami forbid it!

4) Liutenant Meioh, we would like to talk about your extra curricular activities regarding a certain Crystal Tokyo...

 

[Tom_Badgerlock]

a few more serious one:

5?) Members should take notice they Aren't allowed to adopt more than 1 orphan a year.
5a?) Yes, that includes you, Nakajima.

6?)Groping within your office is not a "proper greeting".

7?) Lesson to captain Takamachi are not to be used as punishment.
7a?) Nor to Vita of the Wolrenkitter

8?)Doctors aren't allowed to give home-made cookies to their patients.

 

[Nanya]

9 ) Using corrupting influences to get the Saint Kaiser to change Church policies is now forbidden.

10 ) I don't know who's stealing all the underwear around here, but frankly, I'm tired of having to buy new underwear for my family. - NT
10 A ) On the plus side, Vivio does need new clothes more often. FTH
10 B ) MAMA! - VT

11 ) While lesbian relationships are not illegal, please keep your hands to yourself when you're on duty. That includes you, Subaru, Ginga, Hayate and Wendi.

 

[Tsukino_kage]

12) I don't care if he's already in jail, you do not taunt a madman, specially Jail Scaglietti.
13) Standing in a street corner and shouting about the corruption in the TSAB is strictly forbidden.
13a) Especially if it's true and we can't deny it.
14) Never call Riot Force 6 a lesbian army when any of it's members are around.
15) Do not insult dragons, or anyone in their protection, because you are crunchy and taste well with ketchup.
16) Do not spread stories of Non-administered planet 97 being a scary place where people blow each other up to make friends.
17) No you are not allowed to use the research budget to create a Giant Super-Robot to duke it out with the dragon summons.
17a) Quit it with the dragons already. - CrL
18) You are also not allowed to use it to create a nanite swarm to fight insect summons.
19) You are not allowed to direct our ships to fire on worlds from orbit with their Arc-en-Ciel cannons just because they denied you a tourist visa.
20) You are not allowed to reprogram an AI or cyborg to be your lover. That's just sick.

 

[toraneko]

13) Standing in a street corner and shouting about the corruption in the TSAB is strictly forbidden.
<s>13a) Especially if it's true and we can't deny it.</s>

13b) Entry redacted. We know who you are. Consider this a warning.

14) Never call Riot Force 6 a lesbian army when any of it's members are around.

14a) Erio will stab you for it.
14b) Caro ru Lushe is no longer permitted to issue orders to Erio Mondial, least of all orders to assault individuals who make allegations as to her or her friends' sexual preferences.
14c) Following a certain incident, the Time-Space Administration Bureau would like to remind certain individuals that it is still illegal to inflict bodily harm upon another for reasons of revenge, regardless of what the other party said about your girlfriend/lover/wife/comrade/etc., and that TSAB agents are not exempt from the law.
14d) Neither are you, Scrya. Knock it off.

16) Do not spread stories of Non-administered planet 97 being a scary place where people blow each other up to make friends.

16a) Even if it is partially true.

17) No you are not allowed to use the research budget to create a Giant Super-Robot to duke it out with the dragon summons.
17a) Quit it with the dragons already. - CrL

17b) Look who's talking.
17c) Human-sized Super Robots are also illegal. See notes re: "Combat Cyborgs".
17d) :blue: -#s

20) You are not allowed to reprogram an AI or cyborg to be your lover. That's just sick.

20a) Shario Finieno is hereby under house arrest, pending further investigation.

 

[Nanya]

21 ) Kidnapping mages from their home worlds and forcing them to work for the TSAB is likewise forbidden.
21 A ) I don't CARE if that's basically how we got two of the three Aces, you just can't do it.
21 B ) No, you cannot bribe them with candy.
21 C ) That doesn't mean you have to take out all the candy in your pockets, Caro.
21 D ) HOW MUCH CANDY DO YOU HAVE IN THERE?!

 

[Epsilon]

17) No you are not allowed to use the research budget to create a Giant Super-Robot to duke it out with the dragon summons.
17a) Quit it with the dragons already. - CrL

17b) Look who's talking.
17c) Human-sized Super Robots are also illegal. See notes re: "Combat Cyborgs".
17d) :blue: -#s

17e) And no, the excuse of "CHICKS DIG GIANT ROBOTS!!" will not fly here.

 

[MWkillkenny84]

22) Hayate, you are not autorized to go to the Mahora to join the Library Exploration Club. And no, you can't even try to bribe young Negi Springfield: the crazies of his class are dangerous, and we DO NOT WANT to antagonize them.
22a) Fate, it count for you too, especially in regard of former Drill Sergeant Evangeline A.K. McDowell.

 

[Nanya]

22 C ) When talking about Fate, please make sure that you clarify if you mean Enforcer Fate or the Fate that's causing problems for Negi's class. Enforcer Fate is getting tired of people assaulting her thinking that she was the one involved in the summoning of the Youma from that lake.

23 ) Necrophilia is still not legal, sorry Ixy.
23 A ) Those who try to do anything to Ixpellia while she sleeps in her coma will be turned over to her highness Vivio Takamachi and Subaru Nakajima for punishment.
23 B ) Doubly so for anyone who might try to hurt her.

24 ) Whoever stole Hayate's cosplay supplies is to return them immediately. The last thing we need is our tactical nuke to go emo or get pissed off.

 

[Prince Charon]

25 ) You are reminded that Takamachi Vivio is still a child, even in her adult form. Anyone caught perving on her will be turned over to Captain Takamachi and/or Enforcer Testarossa-Harloun for discipline.

 

[MWkillkenny84]

26) All conctacts between Vivio Takamachi, Chibi-Usagi Tsukino, Hotaru Tomoe, Evangeline A.K. McDowell and Negi Springfield are now forbidden: we can't contain the fanboys/fangirls of their adult forms.

27) Will the person who has published that FateJail Doujin make him/herslef note? His 'artistict subjetcs' want to have some 'words' with him. Idem for Nanoha and Vivio.

 

[toraneko]

28) The Sacred Tome had no relation at any point whatsoever with the Book of the Night Sky. All further comments to the contrary are not fact, and should be stricken from the record.
28a) And no, Reinforce Zwei and Overlord Zetta would not make "a cute little book collection," nor would they end up "giving us all a library full of children's books to d'aww over."
28b) Seriously, guys. That Salome lady tried to kill me the last time she heard talk like that! -R2

29) Agito bears no relation to Etna, save her looks. This is not up for debate.

30) No throwing Prinnies <s>in the cafeteria</s> <s>in the locker room</s> <s>on the athletic or training grounds</s> anywhere in the TSAB's administered zones. Period.
30a) Or Earth.

31) The Infinity Library is not, and has never been, "Yuuno Scrya's House of Love."
31a) ...until yesterday! -LH
31b) Your days are numbered, Ferret Boy. -CH
31c) I'd just like to go on record as saying that this was not my idea. -YS
31d) You didn't seem to mind at the time. -LH
31e) ...No comment. -YS

 

[zeebee1]

22 b. There is no 22 b.

 

[Dark Knight Gafgar]

32: General Gaiz' former office is hereby rendered off-limits until someone figures out how to get the Shoggoth to leave.
32a: It is best not to ask why a Shoggoth is in General Gaiz' office. There are things we are all truly better off not knowing.
32b: Vivio Takamachi is not allowed to "adopt" the Shoggoth.

33: Mirror Yuuno, Chrono and Zafira are hereby ordered to grow goatees so we can tell them apart from the originals.
33a: This was not an invitation for you to use a fake moustache to taunt your counterpart, Mirror Vita.

 

[Prince Charon]

25 ) You are reminded that Takamachi Vivio is still a child, even in her adult form. Anyone caught perving on her will be turned over to Captain Takamachi and/or Enforcer Testarossa-Harloun for discipline.

25a ) What does 'perving' mean? -Vivio

 

[toraneko]

25 ) You are reminded that Takamachi Vivio is still a child, even in her adult form.? Anyone caught perving on her will be turned over to Captain Takamachi and/or Enforcer Testarossa-Harloun for discipline.

25a ) What does 'perving' mean? -Vivio

25b) It means doing the stuff we warn Subaru not to do to Teana when you're around, Viv. -Mamas

 

[Nanya]

34 ) This rule is not meant to be used as an excuse for porn of anyone.

35 ) Brianna Diggers is not to come within three feet of any Intelligent, Armed or Storage Device. The one time she got her hands on Durandall ended up with four stars turned off. That's right, turned off. No, don't ask us how she did it either.

36 ) Betting to see who would win between Enforcer Fate and Straight Cougar in a race is not allowed.
36 A ) It has expanded to include Yoruichi, Minato, Eiko Megumi and Nuku Nuku.

37 ) Subaru is hereby forbidden from trying to use Vita like Goldymarg.
37 A ) Doubly so because she punched up my skirt! I couldn't sit for three weeks! - Vita
37 B ) It was just one time. - SN

38 ) Trying to get the Captain Commander of Soul Society to go against Signum in a battle to see who can make the best fire attacks is also forbidden.

 

[MWkillkenny84]

39) Warning: if you ever see a shirtless violet haired-red eyed boy with two strange antenna-like bangs and a terrible laugh... DO NOT ENGAGE HIM. If he's angry, RUN LIKE HELL AND CONCTACT THE ACES!!! If you're not an Ace, it means YOU DO NOT HAVE the necessary firepower to SURVIVE the battle!

39a) Seriously, attack Overlord Laharl it's ALREADY bad, and if Etna and Flonne will decide to go mama bear on you, the funeral expenses will be charged to your heirs.

39b) The same thing has to be applied to ANY Overlord and to Seraph Lagmintong.

40) To the Numbers and the Nakajima sisters: you can't recruit your 'distant cousin' KOS-MOS, nor her 'mama' Shion Uzuki. We DO NOT need a conflict with the Gnosis or U-DO, thank you very much!

 

[Tsukino_kage]

36 ) Betting to see who would win between Enforcer Fate and Straight Cougar in a race is not allowed.
36 A ) It has expanded to include Yoruichi, Minato, Eiko Megumi and Nuku Nuku.

36b) And further expanded to include the Flash, Sonic, Speedy Gonzales, Quicksilver and Zoom.

40) To the Numbers and the Nakajima sisters: you can't recruit your 'distant cousin' KOS-MOS, nor her 'mama' Shion Uzuki. We DO NOT need a conflict with the Gnosis or U-DO, thank you very much!

40a) The same with their friends Junior and Momo, for the exact same reasons (even if Momo really does fit the Magic Girl Motif).

41) Under no circumstances are you to ever approach Unicron, Galactus, Ego or Starbreaker. Last thing we need are Dimension-hopping world devourers trying to eat us, or in Starbreaker's case, our stars.

42) No Hayate, you can't keep that tentacle monster as a pet.

43) Absolutely under no circumstances is Hayate Yagami to ever be involved in the Official Uniforms Selection Committee.

44) Notice is given to whoever has Ruri Hoshino. Her government wants her back, NOW.

45) I don't care if it's cool or chicks dig them, you are still not allowed to use the research budget to make robots, Kamen rider style bikes, Macross style fighters and specially not Kaiju.

 

[MWkillkenny84]

46) Hayate, can you talk to your cousin Light and ask him, COURTESLY, if he can stop his cilling of ours senior accountants? We KNOW they are corrupt, but we NEED them for their work!
46a) And no, we can not assume Nabiki Tendo in their place, no matter how tempting is the option.

 

[Nanya]

47 ) Rule 42 is now repealed on the basis that no one else is allowed to keep one as a pet and Hayate keeps her current "pet" under strict control.

48 ) No, Caro, I do not care HOW you managed it, you are to not to keep Exellion as a summon.
48 A ) Doubly so for the Brood Queen Ti'mat.
48 B ) The last thing we want is one of the Dragons from Jade to decide to come to TSAB space and cause problems for everyone because they're upset with you for being able to summon their grandfather and Queen.

 

[MWkillkenny84]

48c) Caro, the phrase 'He's a hunk' is not a good motive to summon and adopt as a 'pet' the One Winged Angel Sephiroth.

 

[Tsukino_kage]

49) Zerg do not make good pets.
49a) Neither do Tyranids.
49b) No Lutecia, you can't keep the cute little facehugger either.
50) You are only allowed to keep tribbles as pets if they have been spayed to ensure they can never reproduce. Unspayed tribbles have been known to destroy entire planetary ecosystems with their out of control procreation.

 

[MWkillkenny84]

51) Subaru, please, in the future can you avoid to shout the phrase "I do not expect the Spanish Inquisition!"? We KNOW you do it only to blast that trio of cardinals into the next century, and the Vatican is starting to be angry. And we do not want to enrage a Pope.

52) All the conctacts between TSAB agents and rapresentative from the Hellsing Organization or the Iscariota are now forbidden: we do not want to be drag into their religious feud.

 

[toraneko]

37 ) Subaru is hereby forbidden from trying to use Vita like Goldymarg.
37 A ) Doubly so because she punched up my skirt!? I couldn't sit for three weeks! - Vita
37 B ) It was just one time. - SN

37c) You left the Revolver Knuckle on! -Vita