Bleach Things Shinigami are not allowed to do
- Thread starter Prince Charon
- Start date
891) Since Commissar Cain is still officially listed as being on active duty in his home country despite being dead, he cannot be recruited for the Gotei 13.
891a) Besides, he doesn't want to join. He'd been in enough battles while he was alive and wants to enjoy his afterlife.
891b) No Meyuri, you may not experiment on his aide to figure out how Jurgen emits that anti-reiatsu field.
891a) Besides, he doesn't want to join. He'd been in enough battles while he was alive and wants to enjoy his afterlife.
891b) No Meyuri, you may not experiment on his aide to figure out how Jurgen emits that anti-reiatsu field.
892) Vice Captain Nemu is not to be referred to as "Ayanami" or "Zomg teh Rei."
892a) Especially since she dyed her hair blue.
892b) The rumors of Mayuri having a tank full of her somewhere are unfounded.
893) There is no secret district of the Soul Society.
893a) If there were, it most assuredly would not be Gensokyo.
894) Stop telling Captain Zaraki that there is nothing his blade cannot cut. We don't want him getting any ideas.
892a) Especially since she dyed her hair blue.
892b) The rumors of Mayuri having a tank full of her somewhere are unfounded.
893) There is no secret district of the Soul Society.
893a) If there were, it most assuredly would not be Gensokyo.
894) Stop telling Captain Zaraki that there is nothing his blade cannot cut. We don't want him getting any ideas.
900. Death Notes only work on living people not spiritual entities such as Shingami or Hollows so attempting to write the name of your captain, vice captian or other squad members you find irritating will not kill them.
901. There is not a kido for instant baldness.
a.) And no Ikkaku was not the first victim.
902. Haineko, we are not allowing you to host the 71st Annual Cat Girl Convention in Soul Society.
a.) The fact that you got Captain Soi Fong to support this move does not help give the request more legitimacy.
b.) Captian Soi Fong the promise from Shihoin Yoruichi that she would attend does not add legitimacy to the request either.
c.) Nor does the support of the Shinigami Men's Association.
d.) Nor does Yachirru's support.
902. The motto 'When in doubt use bigger explosives' is prohibited from being put to the test in Soul Society
a.) Contracting the ANBU Demolition Squad for a practical demonstration of it's effectiveness is even more prohibited.
903. Giving Train Heartnet an upgraded version of the kido gun is prohibited.
901. There is not a kido for instant baldness.
a.) And no Ikkaku was not the first victim.
902. Haineko, we are not allowing you to host the 71st Annual Cat Girl Convention in Soul Society.
a.) The fact that you got Captain Soi Fong to support this move does not help give the request more legitimacy.
b.) Captian Soi Fong the promise from Shihoin Yoruichi that she would attend does not add legitimacy to the request either.
c.) Nor does the support of the Shinigami Men's Association.
d.) Nor does Yachirru's support.
902. The motto 'When in doubt use bigger explosives' is prohibited from being put to the test in Soul Society
a.) Contracting the ANBU Demolition Squad for a practical demonstration of it's effectiveness is even more prohibited.
903. Giving Train Heartnet an upgraded version of the kido gun is prohibited.
zeebee1 said:
Be nice. He obviously can't speak any spoken languages. Maybe he's fluent in a dead one.
899) Splicing the DNA of ANY male member of the Gotei 13 with the Megaplayboy's DNA code is forbidden, PERIOD. Kurosakis', Histugaya's, Kuchiki's, Zaraki's or, God forbid it, Kyoraku's DNA are ESPECIALLY forbidden for obvious reasons.
904) Despite the fact that he has died more than 500 times, we must insist that the henchman known as Nodwick not be konsoed unless he specifically requests it. Piffany has informed us that if we do not allow him the option of letting her resurrect him yet again, she will cut off our supply of double fudge chocolaty chiperoo brownies and cookie-doodles.
904a) On another note of item from that world, 11th Company is to stop bringing back Skullwhacker Ale. We still haven't finished repairing the damage they did to their barracks the last time they let that stuff get near an open flame.
904a) On another note of item from that world, 11th Company is to stop bringing back Skullwhacker Ale. We still haven't finished repairing the damage they did to their barracks the last time they let that stuff get near an open flame.
zeebee1 said:
902b. Not to self. Fuinjutsu does not work in Soul Society. The ADC is crushed.
902. d.) Who says fuinjutsu doesn't work in Soul Society? All the other type of jutsu seemed to work well enough until this point. By the way the ANBU demolition squad isn't limited to just explosion notes either, they have plenty of other explosive devices up their sleeves.
windstorm said:
zeebee1 said:
902b. Not to self. Fuinjutsu does not work in Soul Society. The ADC is crushed.
902. d.) Who says fuinjutsu doesn't work in Soul Society? All the other type of justsu seemed to work well enough until this point. By the way the ANBU demolition squad isn't limited to just explosion notes either, they have plenty of other explosive devices up their sleeves.
Another Set Please try and keep it on track and use
Number)
Number a)
Number)
Number a)
823) No one is autorized to use Vogon poetry to kill Hollows
824) Repeat after me: Tea kettles are for heating up water.
825) When in the mortal world, keep your Zanpakuto with you at all times. Spiritually sensitive people are more common than you'd think, and we've got enough messes already.
826) It is forbidden to keep any large cat in the Barracks.
827) It is forbidden to switch Miss Ayanami with the 12th division vice captain, just to see who notices.
828) Games of Calvinball cannot involve Shikai
829.) Nuclear detonations are not Kido
830. It is not allowed to reveal the location of the Evil Overlord's list. We do not need Aizen become even more evil than he already is.
831) The Gotei 13, the 0 Squad and the Espada are not allowed to recruit souls from Springfield, especially members of the Simpson family.
831a) Mayuri, no! You can not recruit Bart, for King's sake!
831b) Is this rule retroactive? -Espada Trecera Tia Halibel
832) All shinigami who wish to have a good night's rest, please go to bed early. Shinigami Represenitive Kurosaki has finally recovered- SWA
832a) Hitsugaya-taicho however is currently under bed rest for exhaustion, Secondary Represenitive Karin Kurosaki and Tercera Espada Tia Hallibel we are looking at you- SWA
833) Message for the Italian Soul Society: it doesn't matter how much you wanted to do it, you cannot storm into the Living World to kill Byron Moreno.
833a). We know that the Espada are not effected by this rule list. But if any show up for any hanky panky the rules shall be enforced.
834) Tatsuki Arisawa and Orihime Inoue are hereby forbidden to go to the Elemental Countries to see their grandson Naruto Uzumaki. And no Kenpachi, even if his mother was your godchild, you can not train the runt to be a Badass.
834a.) He no longer needs your help.
835): Not allowed to introduce Captain Unohana to Greg House.
836): The Shinigami Women's Association is not also known as "The Kurosaki Family Harem."
8360a): Nor is it "The Wives of Hitsugaya."
836b): Or "Hanataro's Hos."
836c) However, we do not deny that we use their services. They do not, however, wear the pants in the relationships that we create. The children born from said services notwithstanding.
837): Not allowed to reinstate the Ms. Shinigami Pageant. The competition always turns out like a chess game with Aizen.
838) No one is allowed to show CSI to Mayuri Kurotsuchi.
838a). Not even if it's in order to get them to follow the basic rules of science.
838b). Pah. Mayuri is not bound by this misguided thing you call science.
839) We have received a request from Odin that Eleventh Squad stop vacationing in Valhalla. While they fit in perfectly with the Norse 'brawl all day, party all night' mentality, their continued presence is causing the Einheirjar to run out of mead.
839a). Mead is for sissies.
840) NEVER, and this is FINAL, make conctacts of any types with ANY member of the S.O.S. Dan.
840a) Soifon, it does not matter if the Xellos-lookalike is one of your subordinates, you can not conctact him/
840b) Nor you can show yourself at your 6th Seath house, Kenpachi. Yes, we speack of poor Kyon.
841) 2nd Squad 4th Seat Danzo Shimura, no, you can not kill your squad's Liutenant. Even if his death will help the squad to higher its performances.
841a). Danzo is no longer a problem. Furthermore there was never a Danzo in the first place. And any rumors that we sent him to a fictional place known as the Maggot's Nest are completely false as well.
841b) Oh, thank your very much, really.... MORORN! Now YOU have to go to that 'fictional place' and stop HIM, who is escaped, and ALL THE PRISONERS who he was able to recruit to create a riot for helping his evasion!!!
841c) Addendum to this and ANY OTHER RULE regarding ninjas from the Elemental Countries: NEVER UNDERSTIMATE A NINJA AND NEVER PISS OFF ONE OF THEM!!!
841d.) Danzo does not exist. The den does not exist. The area that was nuked was not where this non-existing person was hiding. And further inquiries may be directed to Captain Soifong. Do not expect her to be lenient
841e) Inoue-san has been forced to resurrect my foolish Liutenant, after the discovering of his corpe with 31 kunais in his back. With only his own fingerprints on them. And some of my seated officers, Sagara and Shimura in particular, are smiling in that creepy way of them. So STOP TO ANTAGONIZE THEM, IDIOTS! -Second Squad Captain Soi Fon.
841f) We will cease our attempts of killing Marechiyo Omaeda-baka, our UNworty Liutenant. In exchange, HE will have to stop his anti-Shinigami Women Association hidden propaganda, and his sequester of all the calendars published by the same Associations. Unlike the Shinigami Man Association, we do not want to antagonize them. -Anonimous members of the Second Squad.
842) Kenpachi can not get the following items: a Metal Gear, a Gundam, Voltron, the Breathing Gun, Lina Inverse, or Vegeta.
843) Doctor Insano...ah who are we kidding he's a loser. Who cares where he goes?
843a) Oh god Insano's robot is destroying Seireitei
843b) That's DOCTOR Insano. Who's a loser now fear my SCIENCE!
844) Cage matches between Kira Yamato and Shinji Ikari are to stop. Flay Allaster vs. Revan can go on.
845) Kenpachi you can't have Sentry as part of Division 11.
846) NOBODY is autorized to organize meetings between Mayuri Kurotsuchi and Frederick Charles Krueger, PERIOD!!!
846a) The same can be said for Jason Vorhees and/or his mother and Kenpachi.
847) To whoever spread the Ork spores throughout the 11th Company Barracks, thank you - Zaraki Kenpachi
847a) Just because you enjoy being stuck in an endless battle against a horde of mindless brawlers doesn't mean the rest of us do Zaraki. I will be coming by later to cleanse your barracks - with fire. Yamamoto.
847b) No Mayuri, you are not autorized to make experiments on the Orks, thank you very much.
848) Kenpachi you can't go and kill Cyborg Superman because he wants to die.
849) Chris Bores is not a chew toy for Doctor Insano.
850) Only Primus gets Transformers. Especially maniacs like Inferno or Rampage. No Kenpachi don't care you just happened to 'find' them somewhere.
851.) Matsumoto is no longer allowed to go to Germany during the month of September and the first week of October. (Oktoberfest anyone)
852.) Toshiro is not allowed to give birth to a Shugo Chara, lest this problem come into existance <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6089740/1/A_Little_Problem' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6089740/1/A_Little_Problem</a>.
853.) Banning gay marriage in Soul Society is prohibited. -- Seretei Civil Liberties Union
854.) Due to his intense phobia of cats and due to the fact that numerous girls will cause riots because of a nude woman in vicinity, Yoruichi using cat form in from of one Ranma Saotome is not allowed.
855). New Division 11 member Vic Slaughter is to stop using Edward Cullen and his emo ilk for target practice. Seriously they whine and whine before we kill them.
856.) Captain Soifon you can not keep Luna. Sailor Moon wants her Mau back.
856a) The same applies with Artemis, Diana, Himari, Clara and Muta. Kindly leave the talking cats with their rightful owners.
856b). Captain Soi Fong is no longer allowed any non-humans besides Komamura outside of hollow cleansing.
857). Impact webbing is not a toy!
858.) Captain James T. Kirk is not getting his own Division.
858a). Denny Crane, however has been granted full permission to create a lawyer division, so long as Alan Shore can keep him resonably in line.
868b). There are only thirteen divisions, and none of them will be replaced. Besides, only the laws made by Chamber 46 are legal, and they decide when your are guilty.
858c). Haven't we gotten tired of 46 men, who sit in inscrutable seats of power with lives secret even from each other, running our lives? After all, absolute power corrupts absolutely.
858d). Didn't that trainee called Old Snake try to form a group against them?
858e). The writer of 858c has been executed as per provision 937, section B, paragraph 2.
859.) Kenpachi is banned from forming antiChamber 46 groups just for something to fight.
860.) Soifon you can not have a catgirl army. And Tigra isn't even dead yet!
860a). And no Kenpachi doesn't mean you can get yourself some Avengers for your Division.
860b.) Especially Mantis. Or Willow. Or whatever she calls herself.
861)captain's Kenpachi Zaraki, and Mayuri Kurotsuchi are to never meet a warlock by the name richard.
862): Shinigami can no longer go into other Verses. Period.
863): Shinigami that have fused with their Zanpakuto can no longer train in the middle of Soul Society. They destroy too much each time they hit or block something.
864) No, no and NO! You can not organize matches between Kurama/Suichi Minamino and Naruto Uzumaki!!!
865) No more fights between Snake Eyes and Naruto Uzumaki.
866) Who unleashed the rabid weasals and HK-47 at the Shingami's Women Association meeting might want to commit suicide before they find you. And they will.
867) Jason Todd is never to be made Captain....ever.
868) Winged Monkeys are not to be kept as pets.
869) James Rolfe and Chris Bores are to be kept as far away as possible.
870) Bella Cullen's head on a pike is not to be used as a conversation piece Kenpachi.
871) 11th Squad Captain Zaraki, no, no and NOOO! You are not autorized to:
*) Go into the Human World, Japan, Fuyuki City.
*) Adopt as a daughter Illyasviel von Einzbern.
*) Make her summon Berserker/Hercules to have a good fight.
871a) It's also apply to her twin sister/clone Kuro Illya.
872). Showing the movie V for Vendetta is prohibited.
873). Whomever thought it was a good idea to send Yachiru alone on patrol in the human world in the same neighbourhood as Kusanagi Yume (from Ichinensei ni Nacchattara) is going to be in quite a bit of trouble.
874.) All shinigami on patrol in the real world are to leave a spirit called Aisaka Sayo alone and to avoid performing a konso (spirit burial) on her. Given how the last incident where a number of ryouka with unusual abilities went to soul society to get a friend back turned out I think we'd rather avoid it a second time. -- Captain Commander's Office.
875.) Giving this guy access to the 12th Division's Research is prohibited:
876) The person who has summoned Soi Fon as Servant Assassin for a Holy Grail War will meet his punishment when he will die, not an istant before.
876a). Promise retracted. As she wasn't one of the original assassins the previous claim was false. She's Avenger. She will kill you the moment she has enough strength to lift her sword.
877) Do not let Emiya Shirou see a Zanpakuto. We do not know if he can trace one, but we do not desire to discover it.
877a)- What do you mean, 'Too late'!?
877b)-and what do you mean its captain Zararki's Zanpakuto, i dont care if he thinks it will make him less wimpy
877c) He can do Bankai with it. If he can do it with Zaraki's, THINK what he will be able to do with another one, say... Byakuya's.
878). Yoruichi isn't allowed to substitute for Luna as Usagi's adviser/magic animal sidekick.
879). Trying to recruit Nagi Springfield into any division in prohibited, particularly because contrary to the rumours he is STILL alive.
880). Someone should have Hinamori Momo join the support group started by Sakura Haruno for people whose boyfriend/fiance/crush/object of their affections turned evil and left them which resulted in great emotional stress. It already has about 30 members (mostly the other girls previously in the Sasuke Fangirls United).
881.) Kenpachi we know his nickname includes Shinigami or Deathgod and Underworld but why the heck did you choose to make Appachai Hopachai a Substitute Shinigami when you were supposed to perform a konso/spirit burial on him as he was almost dead with a hole punched through his chest?
881a) On that note, please prepare a konso for Kenichi while you're at it.
881b). Don't bother with that group unless both doctors are dead. They'll just come back to life.
882.) Will the people that play Welcome to the Masquerade whenever a Vizard enters a room please stop, Hiyori is starting think about killing you.
883). Captain Kyoraku is not plotting to take over Soul Society with his harem of Zanpakuto and girls in glasses, nor is he planning to install former Captain Shihoin and Captain Ukitake as figureheads to squelch resistance. Spreading rumors to the contrary is forbidden.
884). Captain Kyoraku does not have a harem composed of girls in glasses.
885). Despite the number of current, former and substitute Shinigami with complicated love lives there is no correlation between the number of individuals in love with you and your importance as a character. Telling new Shinigami that they must have at least two romantic interests to ever become important is absolutely forbidden.
885a). It's a lie! Just look at Ichigo! How the hell does he get these wom-. Please ignore the rantings of a clearly intoxicated captain with a history of poor decision making.
886). You are not allowed to give yourself tentacles. You know who you are.
887.) You may not barge into a captain's room in the middle of the night and demand the right to party
.
887a.)á Even if you are drunk.
888.) Do not get drunk before important meetings. You know who you are and the next that happens I will personally throw you into the drunk tank.
888a). Wait we have a drunk tank?
889) Since Commissar Cain is still officially listed as being on active duty in his home country despite being dead, he cannot be recruited for the Gotei 13.
889a) Besides, he doesn't want to join. He'd been in enough battles while he was alive and wants to enjoy his afterlife.
889b) No Meyuri, you may not experiment on his aide to figure out how Jurgen emits that anti-reiatsu field.
890) Vice Captain Nemu is not to be referred to as "Ayanami" or "Zomg teh Rei."
890a) Especially since she dyed her hair blue.
890b) The rumors of Mayuri having a tank full of her somewhere are unfounded.
890c). There is no Meyuri, only Zuul
890d) No, Kyoraku we are not going to call them.
891) There is no secret district of the Soul Society.
891a) If there were, it most assuredly would not be Gensokyo.
892) Stop telling Captain Zaraki that there is nothing his blade cannot cut. We don't want him getting any ideas.
892a) And please, do not let him encounter Wodan Ymir, the Secreto Espada, or 1st Squad 3rd Seat Sanger Zonbolt. .
893) Former 5th Squad Captain Aizen is not allowed to adopt Sakura Matou as a daughter.
894) Nor is he allowed to resurrect and adopt Lelouch vi Brittania, Light Yagami or any other aspiring chessmaster with a fondness for controlling people's lives.
895). You do realize that as a criminal who attempted to destroy our government he won't care about this list?
896) Henceforth please, make sure not to send Kurosaki Ichigo into the area inhabited by female WEoMD. Catfights are destructive enough as it is without the likes of Aozaki Aoko taking part in them.
896a). Any perpetrators will be executed. There will be no exceptions, and this law is retroactive.
897.) Death Notes only work on living people not spiritual entities such as Shingami or Hollows so attempting to write the name of your captain, vice captian or other squad members you find irritating will not kill them.
898.) There is not a kido for instant baldness.
898a.) And no Ikkaku was not the first victim.
899. Haineko, we are not allowing you to host the 71st Annual Cat Girl Convention in Soul Society.
899a.) The fact that you got Captain Soi Fong to support this move does not help give the request more legitimacy.
899b.) Captian Soi Fong the promise from Shihoin Yoruichi that she would attend does not add legitimacy to the request either.
899c.) Nor does the support of the Shinigami Men's Association.
899d.) Nor does Yachirru's support.
900.) The motto 'When in doubt use bigger explosives' is prohibited from being put to the test in Soul Society
900a.) Contracting the ANBU Demolition Squad for a practical demonstration of it's effectiveness is even more prohibited.
900b) What do you mean "TOO LATE"??!
900c). Not to self. Fuinjutsu does not work in Soul Society. The ADC is crushed.
900. d.) Who says fuinjutsu doesn't work in Soul Society? All the other type of jutsu seemed to work well enough until this point. By the way the ANBU demolition squad isn't limited to just explosion notes either, they have plenty of other explosive devices up their sleeves.
900 e.) like there Zanpakut¶, kami-sama let us pray it dosn't get worse.
900f). Stop lying. While jutsu can be imitated, real jutsu involves chakra, the combination of energy that can only be created by the living. No amount of tinkering can get fuinjutsu to work due to the fact that only chakra can be used as an activator.
901). Giving Train Heartnet an upgraded version of the kido gun is prohibited.
902) Splicing the DNA of ANY male member of the Gotei 13 with the Megaplayboy's DNA code is forbidden, PERIOD. Kurosakis', Histugaya's, Kuchiki's, Zaraki's or, God forbid it, Kyoraku's DNA are ESPECIALLY forbidden for obvious reasons.
903) Despite the fact that he has died more than 500 times, we must insist that the henchman known as Nodwick not be konsoed unless he specifically requests it. Piffany has informed us that if we do not allow him the option of letting her resurrect him yet again, she will cut off our supply of double fudge chocolaty chiperoo brownies and cookie-doodles.
903a) On another note of item from that world, 11th Company is to stop bringing back Skullwhacker Ale. We still haven't finished repairing the damage they did to their barracks the last time they let that stuff get near an open flame.
824) Repeat after me: Tea kettles are for heating up water.
825) When in the mortal world, keep your Zanpakuto with you at all times. Spiritually sensitive people are more common than you'd think, and we've got enough messes already.
826) It is forbidden to keep any large cat in the Barracks.
827) It is forbidden to switch Miss Ayanami with the 12th division vice captain, just to see who notices.
828) Games of Calvinball cannot involve Shikai
829.) Nuclear detonations are not Kido
830. It is not allowed to reveal the location of the Evil Overlord's list. We do not need Aizen become even more evil than he already is.
831) The Gotei 13, the 0 Squad and the Espada are not allowed to recruit souls from Springfield, especially members of the Simpson family.
831a) Mayuri, no! You can not recruit Bart, for King's sake!
831b) Is this rule retroactive? -Espada Trecera Tia Halibel
832) All shinigami who wish to have a good night's rest, please go to bed early. Shinigami Represenitive Kurosaki has finally recovered- SWA
832a) Hitsugaya-taicho however is currently under bed rest for exhaustion, Secondary Represenitive Karin Kurosaki and Tercera Espada Tia Hallibel we are looking at you- SWA
833) Message for the Italian Soul Society: it doesn't matter how much you wanted to do it, you cannot storm into the Living World to kill Byron Moreno.
833a). We know that the Espada are not effected by this rule list. But if any show up for any hanky panky the rules shall be enforced.
834) Tatsuki Arisawa and Orihime Inoue are hereby forbidden to go to the Elemental Countries to see their grandson Naruto Uzumaki. And no Kenpachi, even if his mother was your godchild, you can not train the runt to be a Badass.
834a.) He no longer needs your help.
835): Not allowed to introduce Captain Unohana to Greg House.
836): The Shinigami Women's Association is not also known as "The Kurosaki Family Harem."
8360a): Nor is it "The Wives of Hitsugaya."
836b): Or "Hanataro's Hos."
836c) However, we do not deny that we use their services. They do not, however, wear the pants in the relationships that we create. The children born from said services notwithstanding.
837): Not allowed to reinstate the Ms. Shinigami Pageant. The competition always turns out like a chess game with Aizen.
838) No one is allowed to show CSI to Mayuri Kurotsuchi.
838a). Not even if it's in order to get them to follow the basic rules of science.
838b). Pah. Mayuri is not bound by this misguided thing you call science.
839) We have received a request from Odin that Eleventh Squad stop vacationing in Valhalla. While they fit in perfectly with the Norse 'brawl all day, party all night' mentality, their continued presence is causing the Einheirjar to run out of mead.
839a). Mead is for sissies.
840) NEVER, and this is FINAL, make conctacts of any types with ANY member of the S.O.S. Dan.
840a) Soifon, it does not matter if the Xellos-lookalike is one of your subordinates, you can not conctact him/
840b) Nor you can show yourself at your 6th Seath house, Kenpachi. Yes, we speack of poor Kyon.
841) 2nd Squad 4th Seat Danzo Shimura, no, you can not kill your squad's Liutenant. Even if his death will help the squad to higher its performances.
841a). Danzo is no longer a problem. Furthermore there was never a Danzo in the first place. And any rumors that we sent him to a fictional place known as the Maggot's Nest are completely false as well.
841b) Oh, thank your very much, really.... MORORN! Now YOU have to go to that 'fictional place' and stop HIM, who is escaped, and ALL THE PRISONERS who he was able to recruit to create a riot for helping his evasion!!!
841c) Addendum to this and ANY OTHER RULE regarding ninjas from the Elemental Countries: NEVER UNDERSTIMATE A NINJA AND NEVER PISS OFF ONE OF THEM!!!
841d.) Danzo does not exist. The den does not exist. The area that was nuked was not where this non-existing person was hiding. And further inquiries may be directed to Captain Soifong. Do not expect her to be lenient
841e) Inoue-san has been forced to resurrect my foolish Liutenant, after the discovering of his corpe with 31 kunais in his back. With only his own fingerprints on them. And some of my seated officers, Sagara and Shimura in particular, are smiling in that creepy way of them. So STOP TO ANTAGONIZE THEM, IDIOTS! -Second Squad Captain Soi Fon.
841f) We will cease our attempts of killing Marechiyo Omaeda-baka, our UNworty Liutenant. In exchange, HE will have to stop his anti-Shinigami Women Association hidden propaganda, and his sequester of all the calendars published by the same Associations. Unlike the Shinigami Man Association, we do not want to antagonize them. -Anonimous members of the Second Squad.
842) Kenpachi can not get the following items: a Metal Gear, a Gundam, Voltron, the Breathing Gun, Lina Inverse, or Vegeta.
843) Doctor Insano...ah who are we kidding he's a loser. Who cares where he goes?
843a) Oh god Insano's robot is destroying Seireitei
843b) That's DOCTOR Insano. Who's a loser now fear my SCIENCE!
844) Cage matches between Kira Yamato and Shinji Ikari are to stop. Flay Allaster vs. Revan can go on.
845) Kenpachi you can't have Sentry as part of Division 11.
846) NOBODY is autorized to organize meetings between Mayuri Kurotsuchi and Frederick Charles Krueger, PERIOD!!!
846a) The same can be said for Jason Vorhees and/or his mother and Kenpachi.
847) To whoever spread the Ork spores throughout the 11th Company Barracks, thank you - Zaraki Kenpachi
847a) Just because you enjoy being stuck in an endless battle against a horde of mindless brawlers doesn't mean the rest of us do Zaraki. I will be coming by later to cleanse your barracks - with fire. Yamamoto.
847b) No Mayuri, you are not autorized to make experiments on the Orks, thank you very much.
848) Kenpachi you can't go and kill Cyborg Superman because he wants to die.
849) Chris Bores is not a chew toy for Doctor Insano.
850) Only Primus gets Transformers. Especially maniacs like Inferno or Rampage. No Kenpachi don't care you just happened to 'find' them somewhere.
851.) Matsumoto is no longer allowed to go to Germany during the month of September and the first week of October. (Oktoberfest anyone)
852.) Toshiro is not allowed to give birth to a Shugo Chara, lest this problem come into existance <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6089740/1/A_Little_Problem' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6089740/1/A_Little_Problem</a>.
853.) Banning gay marriage in Soul Society is prohibited. -- Seretei Civil Liberties Union
854.) Due to his intense phobia of cats and due to the fact that numerous girls will cause riots because of a nude woman in vicinity, Yoruichi using cat form in from of one Ranma Saotome is not allowed.
855). New Division 11 member Vic Slaughter is to stop using Edward Cullen and his emo ilk for target practice. Seriously they whine and whine before we kill them.
856.) Captain Soifon you can not keep Luna. Sailor Moon wants her Mau back.
856a) The same applies with Artemis, Diana, Himari, Clara and Muta. Kindly leave the talking cats with their rightful owners.
856b). Captain Soi Fong is no longer allowed any non-humans besides Komamura outside of hollow cleansing.
857). Impact webbing is not a toy!
858.) Captain James T. Kirk is not getting his own Division.
858a). Denny Crane, however has been granted full permission to create a lawyer division, so long as Alan Shore can keep him resonably in line.
868b). There are only thirteen divisions, and none of them will be replaced. Besides, only the laws made by Chamber 46 are legal, and they decide when your are guilty.
858c). Haven't we gotten tired of 46 men, who sit in inscrutable seats of power with lives secret even from each other, running our lives? After all, absolute power corrupts absolutely.
858d). Didn't that trainee called Old Snake try to form a group against them?
858e). The writer of 858c has been executed as per provision 937, section B, paragraph 2.
859.) Kenpachi is banned from forming antiChamber 46 groups just for something to fight.
860.) Soifon you can not have a catgirl army. And Tigra isn't even dead yet!
860a). And no Kenpachi doesn't mean you can get yourself some Avengers for your Division.
860b.) Especially Mantis. Or Willow. Or whatever she calls herself.
861)captain's Kenpachi Zaraki, and Mayuri Kurotsuchi are to never meet a warlock by the name richard.
862): Shinigami can no longer go into other Verses. Period.
863): Shinigami that have fused with their Zanpakuto can no longer train in the middle of Soul Society. They destroy too much each time they hit or block something.
864) No, no and NO! You can not organize matches between Kurama/Suichi Minamino and Naruto Uzumaki!!!
865) No more fights between Snake Eyes and Naruto Uzumaki.
866) Who unleashed the rabid weasals and HK-47 at the Shingami's Women Association meeting might want to commit suicide before they find you. And they will.
867) Jason Todd is never to be made Captain....ever.
868) Winged Monkeys are not to be kept as pets.
869) James Rolfe and Chris Bores are to be kept as far away as possible.
870) Bella Cullen's head on a pike is not to be used as a conversation piece Kenpachi.
871) 11th Squad Captain Zaraki, no, no and NOOO! You are not autorized to:
*) Go into the Human World, Japan, Fuyuki City.
*) Adopt as a daughter Illyasviel von Einzbern.
*) Make her summon Berserker/Hercules to have a good fight.
871a) It's also apply to her twin sister/clone Kuro Illya.
872). Showing the movie V for Vendetta is prohibited.
873). Whomever thought it was a good idea to send Yachiru alone on patrol in the human world in the same neighbourhood as Kusanagi Yume (from Ichinensei ni Nacchattara) is going to be in quite a bit of trouble.
874.) All shinigami on patrol in the real world are to leave a spirit called Aisaka Sayo alone and to avoid performing a konso (spirit burial) on her. Given how the last incident where a number of ryouka with unusual abilities went to soul society to get a friend back turned out I think we'd rather avoid it a second time. -- Captain Commander's Office.
875.) Giving this guy access to the 12th Division's Research is prohibited:
876) The person who has summoned Soi Fon as Servant Assassin for a Holy Grail War will meet his punishment when he will die, not an istant before.
876a). Promise retracted. As she wasn't one of the original assassins the previous claim was false. She's Avenger. She will kill you the moment she has enough strength to lift her sword.
877) Do not let Emiya Shirou see a Zanpakuto. We do not know if he can trace one, but we do not desire to discover it.
877a)- What do you mean, 'Too late'!?
877b)-and what do you mean its captain Zararki's Zanpakuto, i dont care if he thinks it will make him less wimpy
877c) He can do Bankai with it. If he can do it with Zaraki's, THINK what he will be able to do with another one, say... Byakuya's.
878). Yoruichi isn't allowed to substitute for Luna as Usagi's adviser/magic animal sidekick.
879). Trying to recruit Nagi Springfield into any division in prohibited, particularly because contrary to the rumours he is STILL alive.
880). Someone should have Hinamori Momo join the support group started by Sakura Haruno for people whose boyfriend/fiance/crush/object of their affections turned evil and left them which resulted in great emotional stress. It already has about 30 members (mostly the other girls previously in the Sasuke Fangirls United).
881.) Kenpachi we know his nickname includes Shinigami or Deathgod and Underworld but why the heck did you choose to make Appachai Hopachai a Substitute Shinigami when you were supposed to perform a konso/spirit burial on him as he was almost dead with a hole punched through his chest?
881a) On that note, please prepare a konso for Kenichi while you're at it.
881b). Don't bother with that group unless both doctors are dead. They'll just come back to life.
882.) Will the people that play Welcome to the Masquerade whenever a Vizard enters a room please stop, Hiyori is starting think about killing you.
883). Captain Kyoraku is not plotting to take over Soul Society with his harem of Zanpakuto and girls in glasses, nor is he planning to install former Captain Shihoin and Captain Ukitake as figureheads to squelch resistance. Spreading rumors to the contrary is forbidden.
884). Captain Kyoraku does not have a harem composed of girls in glasses.
885). Despite the number of current, former and substitute Shinigami with complicated love lives there is no correlation between the number of individuals in love with you and your importance as a character. Telling new Shinigami that they must have at least two romantic interests to ever become important is absolutely forbidden.
885a). It's a lie! Just look at Ichigo! How the hell does he get these wom-. Please ignore the rantings of a clearly intoxicated captain with a history of poor decision making.
886). You are not allowed to give yourself tentacles. You know who you are.
887.) You may not barge into a captain's room in the middle of the night and demand the right to party
.
887a.)á Even if you are drunk.
888.) Do not get drunk before important meetings. You know who you are and the next that happens I will personally throw you into the drunk tank.
888a). Wait we have a drunk tank?
889) Since Commissar Cain is still officially listed as being on active duty in his home country despite being dead, he cannot be recruited for the Gotei 13.
889a) Besides, he doesn't want to join. He'd been in enough battles while he was alive and wants to enjoy his afterlife.
889b) No Meyuri, you may not experiment on his aide to figure out how Jurgen emits that anti-reiatsu field.
890) Vice Captain Nemu is not to be referred to as "Ayanami" or "Zomg teh Rei."
890a) Especially since she dyed her hair blue.
890b) The rumors of Mayuri having a tank full of her somewhere are unfounded.
890c). There is no Meyuri, only Zuul
890d) No, Kyoraku we are not going to call them.
891) There is no secret district of the Soul Society.
891a) If there were, it most assuredly would not be Gensokyo.
892) Stop telling Captain Zaraki that there is nothing his blade cannot cut. We don't want him getting any ideas.
892a) And please, do not let him encounter Wodan Ymir, the Secreto Espada, or 1st Squad 3rd Seat Sanger Zonbolt. .
893) Former 5th Squad Captain Aizen is not allowed to adopt Sakura Matou as a daughter.
894) Nor is he allowed to resurrect and adopt Lelouch vi Brittania, Light Yagami or any other aspiring chessmaster with a fondness for controlling people's lives.
895). You do realize that as a criminal who attempted to destroy our government he won't care about this list?
896) Henceforth please, make sure not to send Kurosaki Ichigo into the area inhabited by female WEoMD. Catfights are destructive enough as it is without the likes of Aozaki Aoko taking part in them.
896a). Any perpetrators will be executed. There will be no exceptions, and this law is retroactive.
897.) Death Notes only work on living people not spiritual entities such as Shingami or Hollows so attempting to write the name of your captain, vice captian or other squad members you find irritating will not kill them.
898.) There is not a kido for instant baldness.
898a.) And no Ikkaku was not the first victim.
899. Haineko, we are not allowing you to host the 71st Annual Cat Girl Convention in Soul Society.
899a.) The fact that you got Captain Soi Fong to support this move does not help give the request more legitimacy.
899b.) Captian Soi Fong the promise from Shihoin Yoruichi that she would attend does not add legitimacy to the request either.
899c.) Nor does the support of the Shinigami Men's Association.
899d.) Nor does Yachirru's support.
900.) The motto 'When in doubt use bigger explosives' is prohibited from being put to the test in Soul Society
900a.) Contracting the ANBU Demolition Squad for a practical demonstration of it's effectiveness is even more prohibited.
900b) What do you mean "TOO LATE"??!
900c). Not to self. Fuinjutsu does not work in Soul Society. The ADC is crushed.
900. d.) Who says fuinjutsu doesn't work in Soul Society? All the other type of jutsu seemed to work well enough until this point. By the way the ANBU demolition squad isn't limited to just explosion notes either, they have plenty of other explosive devices up their sleeves.
900 e.) like there Zanpakut¶, kami-sama let us pray it dosn't get worse.
900f). Stop lying. While jutsu can be imitated, real jutsu involves chakra, the combination of energy that can only be created by the living. No amount of tinkering can get fuinjutsu to work due to the fact that only chakra can be used as an activator.
901). Giving Train Heartnet an upgraded version of the kido gun is prohibited.
902) Splicing the DNA of ANY male member of the Gotei 13 with the Megaplayboy's DNA code is forbidden, PERIOD. Kurosakis', Histugaya's, Kuchiki's, Zaraki's or, God forbid it, Kyoraku's DNA are ESPECIALLY forbidden for obvious reasons.
903) Despite the fact that he has died more than 500 times, we must insist that the henchman known as Nodwick not be konsoed unless he specifically requests it. Piffany has informed us that if we do not allow him the option of letting her resurrect him yet again, she will cut off our supply of double fudge chocolaty chiperoo brownies and cookie-doodles.
903a) On another note of item from that world, 11th Company is to stop bringing back Skullwhacker Ale. We still haven't finished repairing the damage they did to their barracks the last time they let that stuff get near an open flame.