Harry Potter Transfiguration Troubles


Beware of Dog. Cat not trustworthy either.
To be honest, we shouldn't be all that averse to spoilers here. The original idea as I heard it for this board was fanfiction writing help and thus a place to be a sounding board for your works and the work of others. What it became was a bit of an elitist archive. Not judging, just pointing out what happened.

So, letting us sound off on ideas is actually a good thing.


Not The Goddamn @dmin
I'm of the opinion we should be an elitist archive and an elitist writing forum, but nobody else has ever really seemed to agree.


Well-Known Member
I tend to think that for archiving purposes, something like Archive of our Own or Fanfiction.net works a little better than boards, but even without that it really depends on what kind of feedback you're looking for in your writing. If you know exactly where you're going with an idea and you're just looking for an opinion on the writing itself or help with proofreading and such then spoilers just mean you're not getting a full reaction to the surprises you work into the story. If on the other hand, you're open to modifying, fleshing out, or changing direction on your underlying idea or some of the details, then I think you're best off revealing them if there's interest.

Balancing the two approaches if you want a bit of both is the trick.


Well-Known Member
we used to be, but then there was a long period of time that involved a ton of shitposting and assholery. This was mainly caused by Raine, who went from being laughed at by the good authors to being the loudest voice and good authors stopped posting here. It never really recovered from that.

Rising Dragon

Well-Known Member
The problem with elitism is that it tends to turn away aspiring authors that get intimidated by such elitism, and then we get no new people and things die out.


Not The Goddamn @dmin
The problem with lacking the elite though is that nobody knows about us and nobody cares.

Pretty sure the only major author we have that's still active and respected is one of the daniels, or maybe both. I can't remember, I don't pay attention to those fandoms.

That's a pretty far cry from our heydey where pretty much any author that was anyone was here, and several of them had been run out coughperfectlionheartcough for being a bad author.

Now we have randos posting five sentence lemons in suggested stories with more words spelled incorrectly than they have correct >.>


Well-Known Member
I have to agree raine was a cause of probably about 80% of the problems we had. Haven't seen LR post in a while so hope their gone. Hell we witnessed LR chase away new members here simply cause they didn't have the same opinion about shit. Bal, keep on writing man. I really enjoy this work you've been putting out.

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
Rising Dragon said:
The problem with elitism is that it tends to turn away aspiring authors that get intimidated by such elitism, and then we get no new people and things die out.
Also tends to turn away established authors who find the attitude offensive, especially if they showed up partly to help the new kids.

rukia8492 said:
I have to agree raine was a cause of probably about 80% of the problems we had. Haven't seen LR post in a while so hope their gone. Hell we witnessed LR chase away new members here simply cause they didn't have the same opinion about shit. Bal, keep on writing man. I really enjoy this work you've been putting out.
Yeah, I have noticed the absense of Lord Raine, which I agree is a good thing for the forum in general. Not just for the reason above, that person was also very annoying in other ways.


Well-Known Member
rukia8492 said:
I have to agree raine was a cause of probably about 80% of the problems we had. Haven't seen LR post in a while so hope their gone. Hell we witnessed LR chase away new members here simply cause they didn't have the same opinion about shit.  Bal, keep on writing man. I really enjoy this work you've been putting out.
Thanks, I certainly plan on it. :)


Well-Known Member

Chapter 3, Part 1

Staggering a little, Harry glanced back crossly at the green haired girl who was draped across his shoulders with her arms wrapped languidly around his neck.  Her feet were actually dragging on the ground and he couldn't tell if she was actually sleeping or just being incredibly lazy after the feast because her eyes were always closed.  He could actually feel her belly bulging against his back and he could hear Hermione fighting off giggles.

Turning his glower on her, she finally caved and said, "Oh, fine.  I'll help," and moved in to take one arm.  Judging by the lack of offended hissing, he thought Guinevere was well and truly out of it.  

It would have been nice to have his best friend do the same, but Ron was still nursing a grudge over Scabbers and had gone on ahead of the two of them to the Gryffindor dorms.  Given that it was only a couple of hours before dawn, Harry was amazed that he had lasted as long as he had while staggering down the halls of Hogwarts on his own.  Particularly since he rather thought that Guinevere had consumed at least half her weight in food during the feast.

Ginny had been exhausted enough to leave the feast early with Percy, which was a shame.  Not because he could have used more help with Guinevere, though that would have been nice, but because McGonagal had stopped by in the midst of the celebrations to inform him that his new "companion" would be staying in the redhead's dorm due to her apparent age and its proximity to him, her only (known) interpreter.

She had informed the other first year Gryffindor girls that were still at the party, but had left it to Harry to inform Ginny.  Well, had asked him to tell her since he was already heading in that direction, but it felt a lot more satisfying to say she had dumped it in his lap.

"So, Harry... about Guinevere?"  Hermione's tone was impatient now that they were far enough away from other students that might overhear.

Giving his friend a rueful smile, he said, "I'm guessing you're not going to put up with the delays and excuses I've been giving everyone else?"

"I should think not."  She sniffed and stared down her nose at him, but then grinned and changed her tone from offended disapproval to a wheedling he heard more often from himself and Ron than he did the older girl.  "It's not going to hurt you to tell it an extra time, is it?  At least give me a summary."

"Alright."  Harry glanced around a bit to make sure there was no one nearby, then leaned towards Hermione conspiratorily as they staggered down the hallway under the burder of the newly made girl.  He gave a very quick summary of the events down in the Chamber that hadn't been covered at dinner and in the discussion with Dumbledore.  Hermione made the appropriate noises in the right spots (as well as exclaiming, "Hah!  I knew it was Parseltongue she was speaking"), but when he got to the discussion between McGonagal and Dumbledore about Transfiguration she was transfixed.

"This is absolutely fascinating, Harry," she said.  Her tone was scolding and he suspected that if her arms hadn't been otherwise occupied, they would have been on her hips right quick.  "How could you not pay more attention to it!  Oh, how I wish I had been in the room to hear it all.  It sounds a treat.  Like listening to a guest lecture at Whitehall."

Harry glanced around once more-- he had been very careful with this part of the story-- and hissed, "Excuse me for being distracted by being told I was _stealing people's souls_!"

Hermione pinked and her expression became apologetic as she said, "Oh, yes.  I am sorry, that... well, I got a little excited about the new magic, and the theory, and all."  Brightening, she said, "But you did at least say it wasn't the whole thing, right?"


She giggled and he could tell she was still a bit loopy from the late night, but then she grew more serious.  "We'll go down to the library first thing tomorrow, Harry.  I'm sure they'll have something.  It would be good to independently verify Guinevere's claims at least."  She sounded excited to have a research project, probably something to distract her from exams having been cancelled.

"Do you really think something like this is going to be in the library?  They would have strung me up from my toes like Filch is always going on about as soon as they found out I was a Parseltongue if Dumbledore knew.  And you know he has to have read just about everything in the library."

Hermione appeared scandalized that he had doubted the Hogwarts library and said firmly, "If they don't have something on Parseltongue's specifically, I'm sure they have books on the soul."

"Probably in the Restricted section though," Harry contributed morosely, kicking at a suit of armor as they walked past it.  It cursed at him.

"Well..."  Hermione didn't appear to be able to refute that, but pushed on determinedly.  "We'll not know if we don't try though."

After that, the conversation died off.  There wasn't much else that Harry could tell Hermione, other than some of the stuff about King Arthur and such, but he thought that could wait and truthfully, he rather felt that saving his breath for hauling a near-comatose snake girl up the stairs was probably a better use for it than talking.

By the time Harry and Hermione stumbled through the portrait hole, they were completely wiped and simply collapsed into one of the big fluffy couches near the portrait entrance.  If he didn't know better, Harry would have thought the furniture actually expanded to hold the three children comfortably, but he was sure someone would have mentioned that was possible by now if it were the case.

"I really, really wish that Wingardium Leviosa worked on people," Hermione said into his shoulder, her voice muffled by his robes.  "I am looking up a solution for carrying around big lumps that happen to be people just as soon as I can move again."

Harry tried to wave off the comment, but found that now that he was down and resting, his body didn't particularly want to comply.  He settled for a verbal response.  "Not now, trying to decide--" He yawned and his eyes drifted shut.  He decided to leave them like that for a few minutes while he got his strength back.  "--to decide... rats, I've forgotten now.  What were you saying?"

His only response was a light snore, which he resolved to tease Hermione about.  Just as soon as they got up in a few minutes.  Ten at most.


"Would you look at that, brother?"  

The voice slowly penetrated the sleepy haze that was still layered over Harry's thoughts, his dreams slowly fragmenting before the onslaught of the amused voice.  He shifted a little, but a pleasant warmth and weight checked his movement and he heard a slight murmur near his left ear.

"I see it, but I'm hardly believing my eyes.  The Boy-Who-Lived is apparently learning to live it up.  Not quite the staid lad we've grown familiar with over the past two years, is he?"

Harry's eyes still didn't particularly want to open, but he let them part ever so minutely as he ran his tongue along his teeth and just barely wet his lips.  He was greeted by a room that was largely a blur, his glasses, he now noted, apparently resting under his head rather than on it.  At least, he assumed that was what the hard bit under his left ear was.  

Two slightly clearer blurs that were almost certainly people were looming over his position.  Between his poor vision, eyelashes, sleep gunk, and a brain that wasn't fully rebooted yet, he wasn't entirely sure though.

The reddish blob on the left flashed a white grin that was wide enough for him to recognize even without his prescription.  "No doubt taking advantage of his newfound hero status.  Never would have pegged him for it, but good on him.  Poor Gin's going to be heartbroken though."

Harry heard another murmuring protest, this one slightly coherent albeit in Parseltongue, from his right and the conversation started to register to his sleepy thoughts.  Attempting, to bring up his right arm to rub his eyes, he found it pinned, an attempt that was shortly duplicated on the left.  Surreptiously, he attempted to explore whatever was preventing him from moving before he opened his eyes fully and let people know he was awake.  It was soft, covered in cloth, and warm.  This didn't tell him much he didn't already know.

The action elicited a low wolf whistle and hysterical laughter though and his eyes shot open fully.  He was not greeted with a view of the crimson canopy that enclosed his bed, though he wasn't particularly expecting it after he finally recognized the voices as the Weasley twins.  Instead, he suspected he was staring at the Common Room ceiling.

"Harry."  The voice was flat and he felt pressure on his chest as a hand used him for leverage.  He tilted his head down and found himself staring at the rumpled, bushy hair of his friend.  Her face was close enough that he could easily make out details and her eyes were flashing and surprisingly clear for someone who had just woken up.  "You can stop feeling my bum now."

Both hands flew away from what they had been exploring like they had touched upon a red hot iron and he heard Guinevere mutter a sleepy protest in Parseltongue. "Her rear.  Mine was fine, thank you."

The twins literally fell down laughing and he resolved to find some way to make them pay for that.  

Cheeks flaming, Harry hastily averted his eyes and said, "Ahh... sorry, Hermione."  He chanced a glance over at his friend and saw her own cheeks were pink as well as she hastily sat up and rearranged her clothes.  She was apparently having trouble meeting his eyes as well.

"It's not your fault," she said, hastily.  Her voice was considerably less chilly than a moment ago and she continued, "We all fell asleep after all.  We were just tired and we'll never ever mention it again."

He glanced down at the twins still rolling around on the floor, though he was pretty sure it was just for effect at this point, then just turned and raised an eyebrow at her pointedly.

"Well, for a certain value of never," she said.  Harry couldn't help it, he burst out laughing and after a moment she joined him.  It felt good, even after the release and fun last night.  The atmosphere at school this year, particularly after Hermione was petrified, hadn't been designed for levity.

Sitting up and pulling Guinevere along with him, he said, "Maybe we should go get cleaned up before someone else comes down and comes to the wrong conclusions."  He emphasized the "wrong" strongly while nudging Fred or George with his foot and they both sat up, grinning wildly.  Admittedly, he wasn't sure what conclusion the twins had come to, but anything that made them that amused must have been at his own expense.

"Harry, Harry, there was nothing wrong with that in the least.  Many men would give their right arm to be in your situation."  Both twins peered at the basilisk turned girl who had simply latched on to that particular appendage on Harry and rested her head on his shoulder to apparently sleep again.  They glanced over at the left and Hermione gave them the same flat stare she had given Harry earlier.  "Well, perhaps not the right," George finished.

Fred nodded and said, "The left is certainly up for grabs though, since Hermione appears to be done with it."  He just barely managed to duck as the muggleborn picked up a pillow and threw it at him.

The commotion finally seemed to rouse Guinevere and she stretched and tasted the air sleepily.  "Is it next month already?" she asked, appearing confused.  Harry blinked as the twins again looked fascinated, though he assumed it wasn't because of what she said so much as how.

"Next month?  What are you talking about?"  He vaguely recalled Piers talking about a pet snake that didn't move after eating, but a month seemed extreme.

Guinevere tilted her head towards Harry and said, "Do you not let your food digest properly?  It has been ever so long, but it is very important for one to rest after a large meal."  She patted her stomach with her free hand and nodded to herself, then froze.  An almost panicked expression came across her face and she let go of his arm to feel at her stomach and torso.  He noticed the small bulge she had had from overeating was gone.

"Someone has stolen my meal!" she exclaimed, turning to Harry.  "It is probably the fake heir-- she has done it because I called her, that is..."  She trailed off as Harry turned his attention to her and seemed to recall that he hadn't appreciated the fighting yesterday.

"Called her what?"  Harry wasn't sure exactly how someone was supposed to have stolen a meal that she had already eaten, but he was fairly sure it wasn't quite as dire as she made it sound.  He supposed it might be possible with magic though.

The snake girl muttered something under her breath, then said, "It doesn't matter, what matters is what has been stolen!  My first meal in forever and a thief has taken it!"

Deciding to be a bit more consciencious of what he suspected was another knowledge gap, he said, "I'm pretty sure no one took your meal, Guinevere."

"But I am already hungry again!" she wailed and he rushed to reassure her as he saw Hermione frowning at him, presumably for making a girl cry.  

"Really!  It's okay, we'll get more to eat.  That's perfectly normal for a human.  We eat three times a day at least usually."

This caused the basilisk to pause.  "Three times a day?  Not year?  I once had two full meals in a year and it was wonderful."  Guinevere now looked like she was on the verge of crying for another reason.  "Truly three times a day?"

"At least."  He nodded and patted her hand, then added, "we don't sleep after we eat because of that though.  In fact, if you go with Hermione--"  He briefly conversed with his friend to make sure this was okay and received a quick impatient nod.  "--and get cleaned up, we can go get breakfast.  I'm a little hungry myself."

Extremely excited again, Guinevere jumped up and grabbed Hermione by the wrist, her tongue flicking out.  Apparently recalling yesterday, she didn't dash ahead this time, but she did push the older girl ahead of her.  Younger girl?  Was Guinevere a thousand years old or twelve like she appeared and acted?

He shook his head and stood as the two girls moved up the stairs to the girl's dorm, then groaned as two arms looped over his shoulders and a pair of grinning faces bracketed him.  As two voices said, "Harry!" in perfect unison, he wondered what he was possibly going to be able to tell the two that would satisfy their curiosity.


Well-Known Member
Not a lot more to this chapter, but just haven't been able to write a lot lately. I think I'll probably end Chapter 3 with this bit to try and keep the chapter lengths for this fic in the 4000-5000 word range.

Chapter 3, Part 2

Escaping the twins, Harry found, was a difficult task even when they were "giving you a break, what with saving our little sister and everything". Breakfast had gone a bit more smoothly than dinner the previous night. At least there hadn't been any pets eaten by Guinevere.

Ginny had caught up to Hermione and Guinevere in the girl's bathroom and had tagged along with a determined expression on her face when they told her that they were going down to eat shortly. Harry had also managed to wake Ron, who was so out of it that he didn't even notice Guinevere's presence until they were walking through the doors to the Great Hall even with the twins' comments. That had merely prompted a determined attempt to ignore her presence completely though.

This hadn't worked out as well as it might have, because Guinevere appeared offended that the boy was so pointedly ignoring her attempts to apologize through Harry. She couldn't actually talk to him, but she abandoned Harry's side to poke and prod at the youngest Weasley boy after he refused to acknowledge any more "Guinevere says" comments from the Boy Who Lived.

Harry was actually a little impressed that the snake girl had thought to make amends in the first place, but when she stopped bugging him for translations he was glad for the break. As a result of her newfound obsession, Ginny managed to slip into the space beside Harry and took the opportunity to actually engage him in small talk. It was pretty pleasant and a good way to ignore Fred on his other side and the occasional pointed comment.

Though he did have to admit that he found it pretty funny how Ginny's cheeks heated up at some of what Fred and George said. One particularly amusing moment had been when she had asked him, very politely, if he would like some eggs and then served some to him.

"Oy, look at that, Fred," George commented, flicking a baked bean at his brother from across the table. "I haven't seen little Gin-Gin that well behaved since she was six and pulled us into a tea party."

He grinned at Ginny and her eyes widened as she caught the comment. When she raised an entire spoonful of the beans in a threatening gesture though, he mockingly mimed zipping his mouth shut. That didn't end up saving her though, because Fred simply took over where his brother had left off.

Nodding sagely to himself, Fred said, "You're not wrong, brother. As I recall, Harry Potter was the guest of honor then as well." Ginny groaned and dropped the spoon onto her plate, pushing it away and burying her head in her arms.

"I do believe you're right on that." George apparently hadn't decided to keep his mouth zipped for long. "Though as I recall, he was a bit fuzzier at the time. Not to mention the button eyes and round ears on the top of his head. Still had the glasses and scar though."

Harry choked back a laugh and patted Ginny on the shoulder comfortingly. While he was a bit discomfited by his fame he got the feeling that the young girl was feeling more embarrassed by having the doll or whatever than he was about having something like that made in his image.

Apparently his gesture was enough to restore Ginny's confidence, because she pulled her head up and narrowed her eyes at her brother. Moments later, she had followed through on the implicit promise she had made when George started down this path and he found himself with a face full of beans.

The resulting food fight almost certainly would have resulted in detentions if there had been any teachers or prefects in the hall. It was early enough after a very late night that they had it almost to themselves though.

Most of the group was still laughing when they stumbled through the Fat Lady's portrait half an hour later, though Hermione was scandalized and Guinevere almost aghast at the wasted food. The latter had not escaped unscathed though, as Ron had finally lost control of his temper and taken advantage of the ruckus to plaster her hair to her head with eggs and gravy.

Harry made a few additional attempts to sneak away after they had cleaned up, having arranged to meet Ron and Hermione in an abandoned classroom. However, even with the Invisibility Cloak, he couldn't shake Fred and George. They inevitably showed up a couple minutes later anytime he ducked into a hiding space and there were a few times that he ducked into a particularly isolated classroom and they were actually waiting for him. That was a little creepy.

When that had happened for the third time and Harry was at least half an hour late for his meeting with his friends, he finally tore off his cloak and said, "Fine! What do you want? I told your brother I'd meet him somewhere."

The twins grinned at him, putting away a piece of paper.

"Harry, it's not so much what we want as--- ok, no, it's all about what we want really." One of them said and the other gave him a disgusted look.

"You're terrible at this, Fred." Presumably George said, then donned an affable smile and walked over to put his arm around Harry's shoulders. "Have you ever heard of twinspeak?"

Harry blinked at the nonsequitur and looked back and forth between the two Weasley brothers, confused. "Uhh, no?"

"Really? Semi-mystical language that only your twin knows?" Another shake of Harry's head. "Ahh, well, doesn't matter, it's all a load of poppy-cock anyway. At least the semi-mystical part," George added. "Seems dead useful though, doesn't it?"

Harry gave a tentative nod, wondering where they were going with this and then Fred chimed in. "Right? We never actually had anything like that ourselves, but when we heard about it when we were about 8 or 9 we tried to invent one. Took us months and months of babbling hexes with stolen wands and hard work."

"It was a thing of beauty," George said, wiping at an eye dramatically, though Harry hadn't spotted any tears. "Completely nonsensical, all original. Sounded like a pair of mice going at it with a cat in a blender."

"Uhh... okay, sounds kind of cool," Harry admitted. "What does that have to do with me though?"

Fred scowled. "Do you know how long it took Mom to learn it?"

"A year?"

"Two days. Turns out there's a charm for learning languages." George sighed dramatically, still draped over Harry's shoulder. "We gave up on it then. Did you know there's some bloke who knows like... 150 languages or something in the Ministry? Barmy, we thought when we were developing our twinspeak, but if it only takes a couple days for each, not so bad."

Fred nodded and said, "We looked up the Charm when we got here, figured it was a useful sort of thing to know. Kind of hard to do, but we eventually pulled it off. Learned French from our second year Defense Against the Dark Arts professor just before she kicked it."

"Here's the thing though, Harry," George said with a wide grin. "The spell doesn't work on magical languages."

"'Course, those are few and far between," Fred continued without missing a beat. "Runes, of course, but that's mostly written and everyone under the sun knows the languages anyway. Defeats the point, you see. There's at least one other though, that we know of."

Harry felt a sinking sensation. "Uhh, you don't say?" he asked weakly.

"We do." Harry rather felt that the grins the twins were directing his way were probably not far off those worn by a shark before it attacked something small and helpless. And he was feeling decidedly minnow-like.


Ten minutes later, as he stepped out of the classroom, the Boy-Who-Lived decided that Tom Riddle didn't have anything on the Weasley twins when they wanted something from you.

He had tried to rally-- had pointed out that he didn't actually know Parseltongue, so he couldn't really teach it properly. They had pointed out that there were now at least two people who spoke the language in the castle and it wasn't likely that both of them were natural Parselmouths given how rare they were. With Guinevere's assistance as well they were sure they could pick it up.

Besides, that was apparently why they hadn't bugged him about this earlier. Ron had told them it was completely involuntary and he couldn't really produce it on command. Luckily, they told him, his practice with Guinevere seemed to have fixed that based on what they saw this morning. He couldn't really argue this point unfortunately.

His next line of attack had been an attempt to say that Parseltongue wasn't actually magical, he just happened to know it through some fluke of magic. This was shot down even more easily, because they had apparently tried the Charm during breakfast with no results.

The fact that people could learn Farthark and the other languages in Ancient Runes also shot down his attempt to say they wouldn't be able to learn it because it was magical. Guinevere didn't help here either, given that he would rather not reveal that she really was a snake and they were still convinced she wasn't a natural speaker. Something about the way the language charm reacted apparently.

Attempts to say he would get nothing out of it revealed they had figured out at least part of the reason Guinevere was in Gryffindor and they had promised to take her off his hands from time to time. Plus keep quiet about his rather daring escapades the night of the party. Harry felt Hermione might appreciate the latter and he couldn't deny the former would probably come in handy. Though if he had anything to say about it, Guinevere was learning English as soon as possible.

He had one small triumph though-- they had made him promise not to teach any of the other Weasley's at least, even Ron, and especially their mother and father. He had been able to say with a straight face that he could agree to that.

It should be fun to hear from Ginny what they were trying to keep quiet from their family. He would have to give her a heads up when the twins started making progress with the language next year. And it should be particularly fun when they were actually fluent.

He had also extracted a promise of his own to teach him the language charm next year. One quick demonstration in the classroom had convinced him he wasn't going to pick it up before the end of the term.

At any rate, that was over for now. All he had to do at this point was see if Ron and Hermione were still at the meeting place they had established. He could worry about the twins later.


Well-Known Member
Thanks. One more slight addition based on some feedback I received around the ending not really feeling like it had a punchline or closure. Not sure this quite addresses that, but I think it helps a little:


Without needing to hide his movement, he was able to make it to the first floor quickly enough and found that his friends were still there. Ron had already been drafted and the trio's normal table was piled high with books.

When Harry finally showed up, his best friend was more than happy to pull Hermione away from her books and retreat into the stacks for a bit more privacy. Even with exams cancelled, there were still quite a few 5th and 7th years wandering around the library.

It hadn't taken quite as long to explain yesterday as Harry had thought it might, particularly since Ron didn't have quite as many questions for him as Hermione despite what looked like a desperate attempt to think of some in order to put off the inevitable doom they both saw coming. With Hermione distracted by the books she had already put together based on their earlier talk, however, it wasn't long before they were trooping back to their table.

They had been rapidly put to work by Hermione going through the books she had chosen to try and find some of the information they were missing about the whole thing. That had really just started, but Harry already felt like he was missing something after he sat down with his first choice. Possibly something important too, because it was really nagging at him. He wasn't sure if it was something he had forgotten to tell his friends or maybe something related to the twins. Trying to escape them had distracted him quite a bit.

Setting his book down, Harry frowned and looked over his friends, trying to put his finger on what was bugging him.

The scene wasn't far off of what they had been doing since the Petrifications began, but he didn't think that was it. After all, after identifying the basilisk and then---

Harry froze.

"Hermione. Where is Guinevere?"

"Hmm...?" Hermione looked up distractedly, her hand absentmindedly marking her spot on the page. "Guinevere? Oh, yes, I left her in the dorms after we all bathed. She seemed a bit sleepy, so I assume she's taking a nap. Though obviously I couldn't say for sure with the language barrier."

Ron looked up, looking happy for the distraction from books he thought he was done with for the semester given that the exams had been cancelled. "Oh, you mean with Ginny? I told her she couldn't come straight out. Thought I was going to catch a hex in the nose for a minute, but she just stomped up the stairs to her dorm. She's certainly back in form. Probably going to catch hell from her this summer to make up for missing out on the whole 'Possessed by Voldemort' thing."

Guinevere and Ginny, left in close confines for over an hour with no supervision. Yes, that was definitely what he had been missing.


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It has been awhile, but here is another chapter of Transfiguration Trouble.  This is pretty short, but I think I'm going to cut it off here for now.  I need to get myself back into the habit of writing regularly again and this is pretty self-contained, so it can stand alone as I work on either the next segment of this or other things.

Since I saw this work fairly well for Lawra, here is a link to a Google Doc version of the fic as well for anyone who wants to do more in depth corrections or comments on specific parts:  Google Doc Link for Inline Comments / Corrections

I'll probably be adding these to the other chapters too.

Transfiguration Troubles
Chapter 4

As Harry and Ron rushed back through the corridors to the Gryffindor dorm, he tried not to think about what kind of damage Ginny and Guinevere could cause after being left alone together.  They had needed to pull the two apart no less than three times already in the course of a single day.

He wasn't too concerned about Ginny doing anything lasting to Guinevere, not really, but Guinevere still seemed to be working on the whole human thing.  He hadn't gotten to the not biting and killing your rivals part, which seemed like an obvious oversight now that he was thinking about it.  While Ron would eventually forgive him for Scabbers, he was pretty sure that transfiguring a basilisk into someone who did in his little sister would probably end their friendship for good.

He had needed to explain himself to his friends when he jumped up in the library and shouted that he had to leave now.  And he might have been a bit loud.  Maybe more than a bit, since the outburst had gotten the three of them banned from the library for the rest of the year.  Even before that, Hermione had been dismissing the threat, saying that he was just being silly and paranoid, but Ron had jumped on board after the Scabbers incident.  

After Madame Pince's pronouncement Hermione had been more than a bit upset with him and had refused to go along, choosing instead to try and argue her case about a lack of library access being cruel and unusual punishment, despite the fact that they had no more homework or exams for the last week they would be here.

His thoughts were interrupted as he and Ron saw the portrait of the Fat Lady coming up and both shouted the password at the same time.  Her eyes widening as she saw the two of them were failing to slow down, she hastily opened and they jumped through the hole.  Harry couldn't help flashing a grin at his friend as they charged through the Common Room afterwards and Ron returned it as they charged the stairs and began taking them three at a time.

They were almost to the first floor landing when a loud siren went off and the stairs abruptly flattened into a slide.  Exchanging startled glances with Ron as he abruptly remembered the warning from the beginning of first year about the girl's dorms, his friend yelled, "Bollocks!" before his feet slipped out from under him and he landed on his stomach and began to slide down the chute.

Harry, being in front of Ron was closer to the landing and actually threw himself forward rather than allowing the ridiculously slippery surface to pull his feet out from under him.  His momentum and the slick stone actually managed to send him up the slide several more feet and he scrambled to grab the door frame as he slid to a stop and started to reverse.

Panting, he hung by his fingers from the rough stone for a moment, then used the muscles that Quidditch had been helping him to develop and pulled himself up and off of the slide, tumbling into the first year's room.  Flopping onto his back, he took a minute to let himself finish catching his breath and then realized as he opened his eyes that he was face to face with Guinevere.  Which was a little odd given his position.

The green-haired girl was actually plastered against the ceiling somehow and was hissing angrily in Parseltongue in response to shouted comments in English that he hadn't heard from out in the stairwell.  Some kind of magic that blocked the sound he supposed.  He had never noticed that before, unless it was unique to the girl's side of the dorms or Ginny had done it.  

Given that he could no longer hear the alarms either, he suspected it might be the latter.  He rather thought those were supposed to be for the girl's benefit.  It wasn't anything they had learned in first year, though he supposed with 6 older brothers Ginny's mom might have taught her something to help get a little privacy.

Neither girl in the room appeared to have noticed his entrance in the middle of their argument, so he heard a bit more than he wanted while he caught his breath.  They hadn't killed each other and the room was only slightly destroyed with various items a 12 year old girl might be able to throw lining each wall, so he could afford the time.  It appeared to be Ginny's turn, though he wasn't quite sure what she was responding to.

"You weren't doing any such thing!  Harry saved me, you were just... just trying to suck up or something!"  Ginny's eyes flashed from where she knelt on her bed, wand pointed at Guinevere and trembling slightly.  He assumed from holding the basilisk turned girl up... somehow.  He'd have to point Hermione at her.

Guinevere sniffed in response to the comment and said, "You are just upset that I chose the new Master over a fake like you..."  She paused, then added slyly, "And that he chose me."  Parseltongue, not too surprisingly, was very good at insinuation and she might as well have said outright that Ginny hadn't been selected for the kissing she had witnessed earlier.

Ginny's eyes narrowed and she said, "Harry hasn't chosen anything.  You were an accident!"

"Take that back!" the basilisk hissed.  She began struggling again and Ginny's eyes tightened slightly as her hand shook, though it didn't show in her voice.

"It's true, I heard the story!  You were accidental magic!"  Her temper seemed to have her in full grip and she hissed out the last in Parseltongue, probably to rub it in further, since she slipped back into English a moment later.  "You're not even a witch, so you can't go to Hogwarts!  They're probably going to send you to live with Hagrid in the forest or something next year while I come back to learn magic and be with Harry."

Guinevere seemed to deflate at that as her struggles stopped abruptly, however, the damage had apparently been done, because there was an abrupt sound of tearing clothing as her weight settled.  Ginny's eyes widened and she said, "My clothes!"  She started to lower the girl, then she abruptly released whatever spell she was using letting Guinevere drop as that didn't seem to stop the tearing sound-- right onto Harry, of course.

He whuffed as the work he had done on getting his breathing back under control was abruptly negated by the slight girl dropping onto him from nearly five foot up.  The snake girl's tongue flicked out once as she landed considerably more softly than she was apparently expecting and she smiled abruptly.

"Master!  You saved me!"  She turned and stuck her tongue out in Ginny's direction and he rolled his eyes back to see the youngest Weasley's eyes widen as she saw him there for the first time.


This was about all Harry had a chance to hear before his eyes abruptly widened and Guinevere was sent tumbling off of him as he was whisked out into the stairwell.  Finding himself dangling from one foot in the air, he was confronted by Laura Endwell, the 7th year girl's prefect with a more than displeased expression on her face.

The alarm abruptly stopped as he lost contact with the floor and the stairs slowly began to take form again, making him wonder how Laura had managed to avoid sliding down to the Common Room even as he gave her a weak smile.

"Have an explanation, Harry?" she asked, her eyebrow arching.  When he only continued to softly wheeze and couldn't manage to get out a word of explanation, she just shook her head in disgust.  "You're 12, Harry.  Seriously, what are you doing?"  She glanced in to see the other two and then said, "You know what, it doesn't matter.  McGonagal can sort it out.  I have two weeks left before I graduate and NEWTs to prepare for.  I don't have time for pre-teen shenanigans."

"You two, out here, now!"  When neither of the two girl's in the dorm responded to her command, Laura's eyebrows rose and then she waved her wand abruptly and said, "Finite."

The spell protecting the room abruptly came to an end and the apparently continuing argument was abruptly audible.

"--fault this happened.  Now Harry is going to get in trou..."  Ginny looked up as the prefect cleared her throat and trailed off.  

The near adult smiled a little nastily and said, "He's not the only one.  Out, both of you, now."  She glanced back at Harry and he hastily cleared his throat and repeated the instructions for Guinevere, having managed to catch his breath for the second time.

Ginny looked surprised for a moment, but slumped and followed along with the snake girl busy trying to hold her clothes together as all four individuals trooped down the stairs.  Harry didn't find it a reassuring sight to get to the bottom of the stairs and see Ron trussed up like a Christmas turkey.  His best friend gave him a worried look and then gasped indignantly as he was also hoisted into the air.

With the two girl's trailing along behind meekly, Harry could only guess at what was going to come out of this when they got to McGonagal's office.  He winced as the twins giving him a surreptitious thumbs up reminded him that he already had another detention for something not far off of this.  You could pretty much assume anything that Fred and George approved of was likely to get you a detention at the minimum.

He was fairly sure his evenings for the last week or two of school were not going to be pleasant.


Well-Known Member
I've always had a soft spot for light hearted shenanigans. This fandom is so obsessed with the darkness and violence, so much so that they forget about the humor and fun of the series.

Good on you for giving this a go.


Well-Known Member
Thanks. I've actually noticed the same thing-- grim and gritty seems to be the order of the day on a fairly significant portion of fanfics in this genre (any genre really, it seems sometimes.) It can be tough to find alternatives sometimes.

It actually reminds me of something that came up awhile back when I was roleplaying in an online game. There was a writing contest for describing reincarnation in the game and the first thing the contest organizer asked when all the submissions were in was something like "Why would you people want to do this to yourself?" 90% of those stories ended up being tales about incredibly painful it was or what you lost in the process. :)

The comment did make me think. (At least in part because I was one of the "power burns" types in my submission.)