Transmission

Ordo

Well-Known Member
#1
Data Log: Recovered from sensor buoy belonging to the USG Ishimura, sound only.

IÆm going to die here. I know that now, and I have accepted that simple fact. ItÆs probably for the best really, what IÆve seen is likely to drive me insane if I were to live for long. Still, knowing your gonna die does give you some logical flexability.

ItÆs funny; I just recently transferred to the Ishimura. I still remember how happy I was to finally go out into space, to take my first steps towards my dream. IÆm aà.was a company man. The company is always looking for bright young minds ready to create new, marketable, technology. I figured IÆd do a tour on one of the planet crackers; get some hands on experience before applying for a position in R & D.

How was I to know weÆd find the one place on the map where æthere be monstersÆ?

[Sounds of a door beginning to open. Something heavy impacts the frame and tries to force the door.]

Oh shi---

[Voice drowned out by fire from a modified Plasma Cutter, and unidentified squealing]

------ucker!

[Heavy breathing from employee, along with the pounding of multiple feet approaching employee 5648]

IÆve found itÆs easier to do if you donÆt look at their faces.

[Audio logs suggest subject fired two stasis shots, followed by more shots from the plasma cutter plus the sound of a quick reload. Note subjectÆs records suggest no combat training prior to assignment aboard the Ishimura]

There was a pretty PSEC officer, short, dark haired and plumply pretty, my kind of woman. She was of asian descent but she had this great pair of green eyes. SheÆs the reason IÆm still alive, taught me to shot. Yeah I know kind of strange activity for a date, but she was worth it.

She died saving me, ripped in two by one of theà.larger bio-forms. I really should be dead in her place. I mean I saw it charging me and I frozeà.I just froze.

[New sound, heavily modified rivet gun being fired. More animal sounds as subject takes something organic apart. A weapons expert suggests his firing wasnÆt erratic or sadistic, he was aiming for something specific on the target.]

I hate the fat ones. If you hit the wrong spot they just unleash a horde of the little ones, and those are a real bitch to get off of you.

Anyways where was Ià.Oh yeahà..Kimberly.

[Sounds of multiple bio-forms dropping to the floor, Subjects uses some form of incendiary device to kill them. From the sounds of impact with think the subject was injured and used medicomp to heal his wounds.]

You know I was thinking about calling in a favor with a friend of mine to get her transferred when I left the Ishimura. SheÆd been talking for awhile about how draining the job was, and how disturbed things were getting down on the colony during the preparations for this planet crack. I was gonna do the whole white knight thing, sweep her off her feet and carry her away to a new better life.

Instead I got her killed.

All because I wouldnÆt fucking move when something large and nasty charged me. So she shoved me out of the way, and was torn apart by its arms. IÆm alive because it was close enough to an airlock that I could blow it outside, along with what was left of Kimberly. The mining beam took care of the rest.

[Sound of plasma cutter fire, preceding the unauthorized access to a secure door.]

Heh, never did mention to the company my fondness for hacking. I always thought of it as a harmless hobby.

[Sound of subject stomping down on something organic]

I find itÆs best to stomp on the corpses, just to be sure.

Hmm, integrity in this sectionÆs pretty much intact. Good this is gonna take a while and IÆm gonna need a smoke afterwards.

[15 minutes of subject working on consol, muttering to himself about security overrides and back doors]

à.aaaand that prevents the alert from sounding, now just a few more buttonsà.Got it!

I guess I should tell you since I just disabled the warning system. I just set the main reactor to overload. ItÆll take about a half hour or so as the cores running close to the red lines. Not surprising considering the damage those things have done to the ship.

[Sound of a plasma cutter being fired, and a console being destroyed.]

Well IÆve uploaded some further information to the buoy along with a quarantine alert. If for some reason what IÆm doing doesnÆt work IÆd suggest you destroy the Ishimura from maximum range, then glass the surface of the planet.

[Sound of a cigarette being lit.]

[Note: voice pattern analysis suggest a wry tone] This is 5648, signing off.

[End transmission]
 

Legacy|iB

Well-Known Member
#2
...and I was just watching some gameplay videos of Dead Space earlier today and wondering why the hell October can't come sooner.

Nice work. I enjoyed it. I don't know about anybody else, but I really enjoy any sort of writing that conveys a recorded message or stuff like this. Carry-over from System Shock 2 and a bit from Doom 3 - both being the games for me that come to mind when I think of Dead Space.

The only possible thing I can critique is the general tone of it. While it is well written and fits appropriately with the atmosphere and feel, 5648 sounds almost too calm. I figure if you're recording a transmission while going through all the shit that does happen, you'd be quite a bit more frantic and not have much in the way for exposition. Of course, it could be that 5648 has already seen it all to the point where he's no longer horrified by it and just accepts what has happened and does what he needs to do - as the ending would imply, I guess. Either that, or he has balls forged in the fires of Mount Doom, but overall, I would have wanted to read/hear something more frantic just to get that bleak and horrific feeling that Dead Space is going for.

That could just be me, though. Realistically, I'd imagine in something improbably longer that the earlier bits would convey the fear and franticness the most, but this wasn't meant to be overly long, so never mind that. Just me thinking a bit too much, which I should really stop doing today...

Overall, though, I liked it. It makes me want Dead Space that much more...
 

Ordo

Well-Known Member
#3
Ah thank you, your critique was most appreciated.

I will say that the reason I had him so calm at this point is that he's accepted he's going die, and he's somewhat numb from the loss of someone he cared for. 5648 dosen't have balls of steel, he's just dead inside. I'll work on that if I write anymore transmission pieces.
 
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