Bleach Warborn Chapter 2 (first part)

Fosfor

Well-Known Member
#1
Okay, this was supposed to be two chapters only, but writting the second part, I realised I couldn't show everything like I wanted to, so it's going to be longer. Propably three or four chapters long, if I judge this correctly.

This is the chapter two, the first part of it. I wanted to write whole chapter 2, but I don't have time so I'm posting it here for your wieving pleasure. Glossary suggested by zeebee1 at the end. Enjoy. Comments, suggestions and criticism welcome as always.


Warborn

A Bleach Fanfiction by Fosfor

Chapter 2 ( Part 1 of 2)



*

Her hands worked with graceful precission that always amazed him as they fastened his new obi.

Even before becoming intimate, or even knowing her better, he had always thought of Soi Fong's hands as most expressive parts of her. After... Well, that was another matter entirely.

She tied the knot with precise elegance, but without the usual speed. Ever since they started the day she had been oddly ceremonial. Even the act of dressing, something he wanted to do himself, somehow fell into her hands.

Gently but firmly, she straightened out his gi and grabbed his forearm. Without a word, she took one of the strange arm bracers/gloves/whatever-the-hell it was and slipped them on his wrist, fastening it securely before doing the same with his other arm.

The bracers were identical to the ones worn by Byakuya - indeed, they were a gift from the 6th Division captain. The only difference was that they were in a shade of rusty red. Red that was displayed prominently on Shihouin family crest.

They looked stupid, in his opinion, but they were still Byakuya's gift. And Soi Fong insisted, in that wordless, forceful manner of hers. He knew better than to argue with her when she had that solemn, formal look on her face.

And her light touches she made as she dressed him with wordless famliarity and ethereal grace were strangely intimate in a manner he would have never suspected possible.

Each time her lithe form moved gracefully with the new article of clothing, he felt an odd mix of peace, arousal and casual intimacy.

He closed his eyes, drawing in the elusive jasmine scent mixed with a lightest touch of spice, grass and power that was uniquely hers before opening them again.

She finished with the bracers but let her touch linger, and for a briefest of moments she had a strange, mysterious smile that vanished as she put on the formal mask again.

Carefuly, she opened the chest that he had been given yesterday, one with the symbol of 5th division on it, and took the long, white cloth from it, unraveling it gently until it had shown itself to be a familiar white haori.

Like every one of them, it had been meticously tailored for him. From the overall size down to the alterations neccesary for his fighting style. Indeed, the garment had been shaped as to not hamper him in any way should he fight, resembling more a cross between Hitsugaya's jacket and Yoruichi's official Onmitsukido haori than the stadard robe, what with reinforced shoulder pads and the lack of the billowing sleeves.

It even had a doubly reinforced, padded layer on his right shoulder where the harness for Zangetsu was usually resting.

Her own meddling, no doubt. Or Yoruichi's.

She slid his arms in with gentle firmness, fussing with the garment for a moment before taking a step back nodding to herself in satisfaction.

Her eyes turned thoughtful for a second before she reached to the desk - HIS desk now, as Yoruichi, in her typical manner, just up and decided he was going to live in the compound now - and took out the Ginsen. He didn't name it yet, but he would have to, sooner or later. It was the tradition and Soi Fong wouldn't let him break it.

She snapped the fan open in a well practiced manner, twisting it in a sinous, slow arc that showed the unobtrusive beauty of the weapon before slamming it shut and sliding it behind his obi in such a way the ornate handle with the small Shihouin crest was clearly visible.

With one, swift move she draped the white scarf neatly around his neck. Though his and Byakuya's had been near identical, he carried it in slightly different way that she took care to replicate.

She reached to the ornate stand where Zangetsu rested, taking the crimson harnes and fastening it on his shoulder. Then, with no hesitation, she reached for the zanpakuto, tugging on the cloth that served as it's sheath.

Ichigo hissed, only to blink in surprise as the soul slayer emerged from the cloth.

Ever since he had confronted his inner Hollow, Zangetsu had shown a distinctive... displeasure to being so much as touched by anyone save Ichigo.

Last time some foolish Shinigami had tried it, the sword reacted. With venegance.

The man spent a week in 4th Division infirmary and his arm had been nearly blown off from his torso.

But this time, Zangetsu was utterly silent and... compliant?

Ichigo nearly bit his lip when Soi Fong, with thoughtful loook on her face, slid her hand down monstrous edge, but stayed silent.

He blinked when he felt her reiatsu flare biriefely as the zanpakuto's edge glittered briefely like the moon it was named after. He felt... odd for a moment. As if he stood inside the bell that rang with her reiatsu. The feeling passed quickly, but the strange resonance lingered for a few seconds.

He was sure something had happened. Something very important. But he had no idea what and he doubted Soi Fong would tell him if he asked.

Unphased, she took Zangetsu's handle and allowed the weapon to sheathe itself again before fastening it on his back.

She circled him slowly until she was in front of him again, before taking a deliberate step, closing the distance between them.

She darted her head up. He always marveled how someone so small could be so powerful, both physically and in terms of sheer presence. Despite being shorter, she somehow seemed to be the same height as him, her presence dwarfing the room. She took his face into her hands with warm gentlesness most would find astonoshing given her usual severe manner.

Her black eyes looked at him, the gaze intense, searching for something that only she knew. Apparently finding it, she relaxed and nodded slowly.

"Shihouin Kurosaki Ichigo-Taicho...Now, you are ready." She whispered, giving him a slow, lingering kiss that took his breath away, before she stepped away.

She turned gracefully, giving him a full view of her uncovered back, before she slipped on her own haori. She reached to the desk... desk that looked suspiciously like the one she had at her home, come to think of it, and took out her own Ginsen, named - of course! - Kuroneko. She looked at it speculatively, before sliding it behind her obi in much the same manner she did with his.

She did the same with Suzumebachi, fastening the zanpakuto in it's usual place, before turning to him with a raised eyebrow.

She had been chosen to 'guide' him in his new duties until he was deemed proficient.

Yoruichi's meddling, no doubt. His mentor gleefuly delighted in arranging those kind of 'coincidences' for them ever since she connencted the dots. For once he didn't complain about her playful nature though.

Wordlessly, he extended his reiatsu, until the window swarmed with black forms of Hell Butterfiles.

He took his breath and started to speak.


*


'Wretched hive of scum and villainy... Kenobi really must have seen this place when he said it.' he thought with amusement 'Though the attractions are... certainly worth it'

He grinned, winking to a skimply dressed barmaid who giggled and blushed as he leered, before glaring daggers at the cute blonde thing on his arm. He reluctantly brought his eyes back to the table, fanning out his cards. He smiled inwardly seeing the spread, just like he did when he got it.

"All right, boy... Let's see the shit you have there!" Rasped the one-eyed thug in a ripped kimono, stained with cheap sake and occasional ash. Not that his street clothes were any better, but at least HE made them look good.

"Now, now... Patience is a virtue," He drawled lazily, shaking off the ash from his pipe "Though if you insist..." He laid down the cards and he smiled beatifically as the other occupants of the table exploded in a string of curses. The blonde squealed, melding into him, her eyes alight with laughter and a touch of greed.

"Another!" Growled the lead thug, slamming several coins to the table "Your luck won't hold forever, boyo!"

"If you insis-" He blinked, spying a small, black silhouette by the window.

'Well... It seeems like my fun's over,' He thought, sending a remorseful glance at the stacked barmaid and the lithe girl whose yukata was rather loose and skin flushed after nearly an hour of his... gentle ministrations. With what he could win off of the small time thugs he was sure he would be able to persuade the girls to... get along. He did it before, after all.

'Oh well,' He thought philosophically, before pocketing the coins

"Sorry man, it looks like it's time for me to go. Maybe some other time." He said to the thug

The man's eyes narrowed, and he could feel the hostility from other gamblers almost suffocate the room.

"Yer not going anywhere till I get my money back, brat!" He spat, slamming the long, rusty knife into the table "Not unles you want to have several new assholes!"

He stared at the knife thoughtfully fro a few seconds, before slumping.

"Oh my. Look. A knife. How nice." He said flatly, suddenly grabbing his head in most theatrical manner "Oh WOE IS ME! Whatever SHALL I DO?!" He howled, tears in his eyes clearly visible then suddenly vanishing witout a trace, as his face returned to the bored, lazy look. "Now that we have that out of the way, I think I'll be going, if you don't mind."

"Sorry sweethart." He caressed the blonde's face tenderly with a rueful smile "It would have been fun... I'll look you up some time, okay?" He said with a wink, slipping a generous pile of coins into her hand.

With a coy smile, the girl dropped the coins to her bra and kissed him fiercely.

'Oh HELL yeah I'll be looking her up!' He thought with glee when they parted with a wet sound.

He gave a wink to the stacked barmaid who looked oddly dissapointed until she noticed the small fortune that seemingly appeared on it's own on her tray. She winked back, loosing her yukata with a deliberate move that showed off her impressive clevage.

'I love this town.' He thought with blissfil smile, turning to leave, before a meaty hand grabbed his arm.

"I SAID yer NOT leavin' till I get MY MONEY!" snarled the thug, his breath reeking of booze.

The young man rolled his eyes.

'Yare yare.' He thought with a sigh

"Five seconds." He said pleseantly

"What?"

"Until you lose that arm." The young gambler explained cheerfuly "Two now, by the way."

The thug reddened, reaching for his knife.

"Why you...!" he roared.

He swung, straight at the insolent asshole's throat.

He blinked.

The youth stood there with a bored expression.

The thug stared at his knife. His knife on the floor. Along with his arm.

"Zero." stated the youth calmly. The gangsters froze as an unseen force started to press on them with a palpable dread.

"Any other takers wishing to get aquainted with my beautiful Ketsurui?" he said with half lidded eyes "None? That's what I thought."

Suddenly his face shifted, returning to goofy, lazy grin he spouted most the night.

"Well then, I shall bid you farewell for the night. It's been real fun. Let's do it again some time. Bai-bai!" He sang cheerfuly, before walking out the establishment.

He breathed deeply, the air like a balsam to his lungs after hours spent in the crowded, seedy hole.

'You really should have killed that wretched creature.' Groused the cultured feminime voice.

He chuckled, caressing the crimson hilt fondly.

'My beautiful Ketsurui... Always so bloodthirsty.' He thought with amusement 'But If I killed him, you'd have even more of his disgusting blood on your beautiful blade.'

'Ah. I knew there was a reason.' She said thoughtfully 'Very well, you may carry on.'

He chuckled again. Bossy, overbearing, snobbish, bloodthirsty... And to him she was the most beautiful woman he had ever met.

Was it a crime to be in love with his own zanpakuto?

He stretched out his arm, allowing the black butterfly to land.

"Keigo Asano, Substitute Shinigami, Representative of the Eighth Division. You have been called to serve Seireitei..."


*

Duck. Block. Counter.

And explode into movement.

She smirked as the burly Onmitsukido soldier went flying, stopping abruptly several meters away and denting the wall.

Well, here was one less idiot that tried to rush her thinking his mass and power would carry the day.

The remaining six circled her warily.

They were the best of their unit, well versed in Hakuda, each at least century old and with more than a few battles under their belt for expirience.

And the experience was only thing they had on her.

They were so outclassed that it wasn't even funny.

'Well,' she thought twisting under the powerful kick and closing the distance as she hit the nerve cluster while backhanding another attacker with casual ease 'Not everybody has the former Onmitsukido leader for a teacher, even if part-time.'

She took to the air, using the closest attacker's head as a spring board.

She almost laughed at the outraged growl as she did the head stand and kicked out with both legs.

'And not everybody has enough juice to fight even a low level arrancar barehanded one on one.' She thought with a smirk as she bounced lightly at the balls of her feet. 'Or spar with Kurosaki-freaking-powerhouse-Ichigo on weekends.'

"Come on, guys. Don't tell me it's all the famed Fourth Onmitsukido Battalion has?" she taunted with a mock outrage "I thought you guys were supposed to be all elite, tough, deadly and all that shit. Come on... COME ON!" She made a 'come hither gesture lazily "Give it some freaking heart! There is five of you! Use your head! Hell, grab your zanpakuto if you have to!"

The remaining warriors looked at themselves briefely before reaching for thier respective weapons and suddenly the air was thick with killer intent.

"Oh yeah." She grinned "That's what I'm talking about! Time to slice, dice and GO FUCKING WILD!" She howled with glee, lunging at the closest black garbed warrior.

He stabbed out his weapon like an attacking cobra... Only to hit air and almost fold in half when her fist found it's way to his solar plexus.

"That was supposed to be a stab?!" She sneered "Go and practice for the next hundred years and maybe you'll learn how a REAL stab looks like!

Next one came in a flurry of blows that would turn any ordinary opponent into mince meat... Only she wasn't a normal opponent.

"TOO. FUCKING. SLOW!" She punctuated each word with series of lightning fast kicks only to halt for a moment, spying the black wings.

She blinked.

"And what do we have here?" she muttered curiously.

She grabbed the two attacking by their heads absently.

"Close, but no cigar. Good try, though." She said cheerfuly. twisting her arms and throwing them aside like rag dolls.

"Well, it looks like I'll need to wrap it up quickly." She muttered with a sigh and the last Onmitsukido felt a bile in his stomach grow at her grin.

"Come here, you." She gestured at him lazily.

The Onmitsukido elite sweated, said a short prayer and winced thinking of the future bruises, but came anyway.

He liked his temporary commander. The girl was friendly, competent, cheerful and had the 'never say die' attitude that was endaring. And she was a challenging opponent to test his skills against.

She was also a fight junkie that equaled Yoruichi-sama or Soi Fong-sama at their worst and preferred live bouts as a primary form of training. Which wouldn't be so bad if she didn't have enough power to fight an arrancar with her bare hands and had a fighting temper of a demon.

He almost whimpered

The things he did for his commander...

A second later he was seeing stars and galaxies en masse.

She looked at her soldiers with pride.

"Good bout, guys!" She congratulated them "You're getting better, you almost had be there one time!" she said with a grin "Go get yourself patched up, we're done for today."

Sighs of relief met her proclamation as the operatives saluted before vanishing.

She shook her head with a chuckle, before she stretched out her arm, allowing the inky-winged creature to land.

"Arisawa Tatsuki, Special Operative of the Onmitsukido Fourth Interception Battalion. You have been called to serve Seireitei..."


*

She stalked the 11th divsion halls grumbling under her breath, giving a pause in the muttering to glare at the offending... item in her hands.

Honestly, Shingetsu Hamon could such a BITCH at times.

'I heard that!' growled the zanpakuto

'Oh DO shut up, you bloody overgrown paper clip on a stick!' She spat mentally

The zanpakuto had been even more troublesome than ever since the morning, simply refusing to seal herself back to the basic form. Leaving HER to carry her in her Kwan Dao shikai form. All nearly two meters of fucking wide, heavy, curved broadsword on the short staff of it.

'Well I wouldn't if you just got us some fun.' pointed out the weapon 'Come on, let's go wild and do some damage! Im booooored! We haven't fought in WEEKS! ' she whined

'Not WEEKS but A WEEK, you blasted junkie!' She glared at her weapon 'And we haven't fought because I had been in the bloody 4th division infirmary after being fucking seriously INJURED!'

'Well you aren't NOW.' Said the weapon petulantly ' I'm starting to rust here, you know. Just one, small, tiny fight? PLEEEEASE? With double cherry on top?'

She could almost see the puppy eyes. She could also feel the migraine forming.

Why oh WHY had she to get such a bloody annoying, frustratingly infuriating, disobidient zanpakuto? Ichigo didn't have any problems with his that she knew of. He even said Zangetsu was supportive! Dad didn't seem to have any problems either and he haven't used his for nearly thirty years!

Hell, even YUZU had a nice, well behaved one. She described Kahei Tensa as sweet, supportive and charming! Though how a seven section chain whip with wicked looking spikes at the ends could be describes as 'sweet' she had no idea.

'Because that flowery idiot is bloody GAY, that's why.' Groused Shingetsu Hamon

She closed her eyes, gritting her teeth and counting backwards.

'He-LOOO! Time's a wasting here!' snapped the zanpakuto 'Chop chop!'

She palmed her face, trying not to scream.

Why her?

'You win... But ONE fight. Then you get yourself sealed nice and tight and stop bugging me unless you're needed.' She tought with resignation

'ALL RIGHT!' Crowed the zanpakuto 'Just make sure it's a good one. No half assed beating on the weaklings, I want to really cut loose here!' Said the zanpakuto suspiciously

'Yeah, yeah. Don't get your panties in a twist, you junkie bitch.' she Groused balancing her zanpakuto on her arm, something she had borrowed from her brother and that oversized cleaver of his.

'Carnage, chaos, destruction, property damage galore... Here I come! Bwahahaha!' She rolled her eyes as she could feel the zanpakuto rubbing her figurative hands in glee as she cackled madly until halting for a second.

'Well, well, well...' Shingetsu Hamon drawled 'Look who's here... The moron and his stick!'

She blinked, before noticing one Madarame Ikkaku by the gate.

'Let's go and re-introduce ourselves, shall we?' Shingetsu Hamon purred 'Beating that overgrown toothpick is just what the doctor ordered. Hozukimaru, you dumb fuck... Get ready to become fucking SAWDUST.'

Against her better judgment, she could feel a nasty smirk forming on her face, one that rivaled her bloothirsty znapakuto's spirit.

She liked Ikkaku just fine, but since he was one of the few shinigami having a spear-like shikai release, he had eded up as her teacher and tended to put her through the world of hurt in the name of 'training'. And his snide remarks about her skill, coupled with his gloating and comparing her to her freakishly powerful brother always annoyed her when they fought side by side.

An duping her to fight that fucking madman of her captain and - even WORSE - the pink haired menace of fer fukutaicho known as Yachiru...

She didn't even notice when she started to chuckle darkly, mirrorring Shingetsu Hamon.

Chuckle that was interrupted by a familiar black form making a beeline for her.

'Huh?' She frowned 'Wasn't I on the medical leave to the end of the week?'

'Hey, he's getting away!' shouted Shingetsu Hamon 'Catch him before he gives us a slip!'

She looked at the black butterfly before shrugging.

Whatever it was, it could wait.

She had bigger fish to fry and certain bald morons to put in the worlds of hurt.

"Oh Ma-da-ra-me-sem-pai!" She sing songed sweetly with a nasty smirk that sent most of the lower ranked 11th division shinigami doging for cover and praying they wouldn't be caught in the approaching mayhem.

Ikkaku turned to the sound of the voice and cursed, paling considerably.

He never minded a good fight but he was so goddamn hungover after than sake-fest with Ichigo, Yoruichi and rest of the crew at the compound and she had THAT grin on her face. And that freaking meneace of a weapon of hers...

Was it actually GLOWING and radiating killer intent ON IT'S FUCKING OWN?!

Staring into the madly glinting eyes of Kurosaki Karin, Madarame Ikkaku had just one thought.

'Oh hell... This is going to suck, won't it?'

Then he heard the cackle. And the omnious whine of reiatsu vibrating through Shingetsu Hamon. And he had a second thought.

'Oh yeah. That's SO going to suck. And hurt. Lots.'

Then he remembered that his awesome, if fucking scary and psychotic captain issued the warning that if anybody, ANYBODY, got an injury that would interrupt his... outing (it was NOT a date - Zaraki Kenpachi DIDN'T date, since the notion was bloody ridiculous - they were outings) with Unohana-Taicho because it needeed her expert hand would have a REAL fear of Kenpachi put in them.

Along with several one-one-one sparring sessions with himself and babysitting duty with Yachiru-fukutaicho. And Retsu herself had... suggested, in that serene, smiling and utterly CREEPY manner of hers, to keep the injuries down.

Or she would be most... displeased.

It was the first time in Seireitei's history that the 11th and 4th divisions worked together without a word of complaint, slightest hint of misbehaviour, bullying or a brawl breaking out.

Hell, they worked together like well oiled, perfectly organised machine.

Ikakku blanched.

And nearly whimpered.

Sometimes it really sucked to be him.


*


Glossary

Hakuda - shinigami hand to hand combat

Zanjutsu - swordsmanship

Hoho - movement, including shyunpo

Shyunpo - lit.flash step. That crazy burst of speed that seems like a teleport that Yoruichi, Ichigo, Byakuya and some other shinigami are so fond of usng.

Shunko - ultimate hand to hand art, merging of hakuda and kido arts into one. Four wings of light, shitload of speed and pure ownage. Practiced (and invented) by Yoruichi and Soi Fong

Jigoku Cho - lit. Hell Butterfly. Seireitei's messengers that look like black butterflies.

New zanpakutos introduced in the chapter:

Ketsurui (lit. tears of blood; bitter tears)
Command: "Open your eyes."
Shikai: straight jian-type sword (chinese broadsword) with crimson and gold handle and a hairy crimson "brush" at the end of the handle. It's power is acid.
Bankai: none at the present

Ketsurui is Keigo's zanpakuto. She's feminime, snobbish, aristocratic and bloodthirsty like hell. Her spirit-form is of beautiful, aristocratic, burgundy haired woman in a loose, skimpy yukata, which is one of the reasons Keigo likes her so much.


Insen (hidden line)
Command: "Leave your mark."
Shikai: long, slender dagger. It has a power to draw nearly invisible "lines" of concentrated reiatsu that stay in the place of the swing until they dissapate and are nearly impossible to detect. Once somebody touches that, it cuts like a razor wire. Nasty weapon, but extremely effective.
Bankai: none at the present

Insen has not yet been introduced, since Tatsuki prefers to fight using Hakuda learned from Soi Fong, but it has an unshakably calm, taciturn personality.


Shingetsu Hamon (new moon ripple)
Command: "Rip to shreds."
Shikai: Kwan Dao (chinese wide curved broadsword with a long handle making it akin to short, massive spear or rather halberd with a short handle) It's special power is the ability to send "ripples" of extremely dense reiatsu from the blade, similar to Ichigo's Getsuga Tenshou, through only on a very short distance. The ripples give Shingetsu Hamon a downwright absurd velocity by propelling the blade as well as destructive power when released trough the edge at the point of impact. The "ripples" can also be used to form a quick defensive shield. Shingetsu Hamon has only one but massive weakness - as the ripples are denser than even Getsuga Tenshou, they are entirely unsuitable for any kind of distance attack since they tend to dissapate when too far away from the zanpakuto's blade.

Shingetsu Hamon is Karin's zanpakuto - a fact that she bemoans at times. It's, much like Ichigo's Zangetsu, a freakishly powerful, offensive close combat weapon. Unlike Zangetsu, her spirit is female, outspoken, aggresive, fight obessed and easily bored.

Shingetsu Hamon is a fight junkie that is like a female version of Zaraki Kenpachi when it comes to fighting, crushing, destroying and generally causing mayhem. She's also insolent and tends to annoy Karin a lot, as shown. In battle, however, the two are force of nature.


Kahei Tensa (flower pattern chain)
Command: "Bloom and weave."
Shikai: A seven section chain whip with two sharp spikes at the ends. Kahei Tensa, aside from it's massive offensive capability, has the ability to disconnect it's sections and control them through riatsu-made strings. Range is limited by Yuzu's reiatsu.
Bankai: none at the present

Kahei Tensa lookes deadly, menacing and badass at the first glance. Then you notice the vine-like shape and flowery motive and it doesn't look so scary anymore. Then you notice two long, sharp spikes and you reconsider. Yuzu's zanpakuto is one of the most pleseant engines of destruction you might find. He is soft spoken, gentle and friendly and has a nurturing soul of an artist. That is unless somebody tries to harm or upset Yuzu. Then you have seven sections of rage-powered, pissed off killer on your hands capable of downright stupid ammounts of damage.


Typo edit... Yet again. Thanks for pointing out mistakes goes to Toraneko and Grunt.
 

Grunt

Well-Known Member
#2
Nice. Very nice :snigger:

Some small errors here and there. Mostly in the scenes following Ichigo's and Keigo's.

Like
He stabbed out his weapon like an ttacking cobra
and
Hell, they worked together lke
I think I missed the rest of them. Oh well not like it matters.

Beside that, great chapter. :yay:

|V| 0 A r :snigger:
 

Fosfor

Well-Known Member
#3
Fixed.

At some point, after writting or working on the text for longer period of time I tend to overlook typos. And my spellcheck bloody infuriates me, since my Word has been acting up strangely lately, so I tend to avoid using it. Thanks.
 

Grunt

Well-Known Member
#4
No problem.

You could try some other programs. Though i will be damned if I can remember the name of the one I was just thinking about. :headbanger:

Just noticed there two more, both in karin's part.

Here
'You win... But ONE fight. Then you get yourself sealed nice and tight and stop bugging me unless you're needeed.'
and here
Chukle that was interrupted by a familiar black form making a beeline for her.
He that one had to be pointed out sorry, but :snigger:
She liked Ikkaku just fine, but since he was one of the few shinigami having a spear-like shikai release, he had eded up as his teacher and tended to put her through the world of hurt in the name of 'training'
Run for the hills it's trap!Karin :rofl:

Well that's it. sorry for nitpicking or however you spell that damn word.
 

Fosfor

Well-Known Member
#5
Grunt said:
He that one had to be pointed out sorry, but :snigger:
She liked Ikkaku just fine, but since he was one of the few shinigami having a spear-like shikai release, he had eded up as his teacher and tended to put her through the world of hurt in the name of 'training'
Run for the hills it's trap!Karin :rofl:
...

I am NOT thniking of writting a spamfic like that

I am NOT thniking of writting a spamfic like that

I am NOT thniking of writting a spamfic like that

...

Oh hell, who am I kidding! :lol:

That would be good for laughs.

Honestly, I didn't notice that. though it came out a tad funny.
 

Grunt

Well-Known Member
#6
I am NOT thinking of writing a spamfic like that
[whisper]DO IT[/whisper]

I am NOT thinking of writing a spamfic like that
[whisper]DO IT[/whisper]

I am NOT thinking of writing a spamfic like that
[whisper]DO IT[/whisper]


:snigger: Well it might explain why her zanpakuto likes to crack skulls open. Repressing can only jurt you in the end.... well you or Ikkaku :snigger:
 

Fosfor

Well-Known Member
#7
Grunt said:
:snigger: Well it might explain why her zanpakuto likes to crack skulls open. Repressing can only jurt you in the end.... well you or Ikkaku? :snigger:
Heh, yeah. That would explain much, wouldn't it? :D

But Shingetsu Hamon is just psycho like that, though there are reasons. I went with motivation that zanpakuto manifests as part of personality in a way. Kanzuki Rin (the OC) is, or rather was, rather mousy, shy and private person. Ikezumi is her bottled rage give "flesh" so to speak. Karin manifested hers in life-or-death situation, like Ichigo had (which is why both she and Yuzu are in Soul society now) so Shingetsu Hamon is strictly direct combat style. Which is one of the reasons Shingetsu is as psycho as she is. Keigo has a similar problem, though he gets along with his zanpakuto famously. Which is rather disturbing, considering just how much of a deadly menace she is.
 

Grunt

Well-Known Member
#8
Well loves is blind.

There is this connection between a man and his sword. What kind of normal girlfriend would be happy if you hit someone with her?
:snigger:
 

Fosfor

Well-Known Member
#9
Grunt said:
Well loves is blind.

There is this connection between a man and his sword. What kind of normal girlfriend would be happy if you hit someone with her?
:snigger:
Hahaha, very true. :lol:


Though he doesn't treat her like his "girlfriend" or anything. He's just in love with what she represents. Well that, and he likes the fact that her spiritual form is damn hot.

B)

But then Keigo is bit of a perv at heart :D
 

EagleCeres

Well-Known Member
#10
Interesting how you've pulled in the Kurosaki siblings and Kengo ^_^
I'm waiting to see how much more you have planned to this story.
It's a good flowing read, love your descriptive style and the aditional pairings tossed in are a riot :snigger:
 

Fosfor

Well-Known Member
#11
EagleCeres said:
It's a good flowing read, love your descriptive style and the aditional pairings tossed in are a riot? :snigger:
Hmm, let's review:

Ichigo/Soi Fong - the main pairing of this story. No idea why, but that appeals to me somehow. The "warborn" Ichigo fits quite well with Soi Fong for many reasons.

Hitsugaya/Matsumoto - second "main" pairing. Die, Hinamori. Just die. And Matsumoto is way too cool to waste on creepy basatrd like Gin. And Hitsugaya deserves someone to rely on and can trust. matsumoto fits the criteria.

Unohana/Kenpachi - the crack "WTF?!" that for some reason immensly appeals to me. I just couldn't resist. B)
 

toraneko

Well-Known Member
#12
She took his face into her hands with warm gentlessness
"gentleness"

"Shihouin Kurosaki Ichigo Taichio
"Taicho"

...Now, you are ready." She whispered,
should be:
... Now, you are ready," she whispered,

She looked at it speculatively, before slidding it by her obi
"sliding"
Also, shouldn't it be behind her obi?

ever since she commencted the dots
"connected"

Kenobi relly must have
"really"

winking to skimply dressed barmaid
I think you meant "a skimpily dressed barmaid".

He reluctantly brough his eyes
"brought"

Patience is a virtue." he drawled lazily,
that period should be a comma

her eyes alight with laughter and touch of greed.
"and a touch of greed"

my fun's over.' He thought,
my fun's over,' he thought,

'Oh well.' He thought
'Oh well,' he thought
Also, that sentence is missing a period at the end.

he caressed the blonde's face tenderly with a rueful smile
He caressed the blonde's face tenderly with a rueful smile.

with a palapable dread.
palpable

the air like a blsam to his lungs
I think that was supposed to be balm.

chuckled

Eigth Division
Eighth

smirked

expirience.
experience

fromer Onmitsukido
former

Unohana Taichio
Taicho. Also, it's a good idea to seperate names from titles with a dash. Example: "Unohana-taicho".

one one one sparring sessions
one-on-one

*whew*

Good work again, Fosfor. Each of the characters shown is well-thought-out in their role, and the characterization was excellent. I particularly thought the part between Karin and her zanpakuto was excellent (Yuzu, a shinigami?! WTF...?). Tatsuki also; she dreamed of being a champion of no-holds-barred fighting, so... :lol:

Just enough detail for my imagination to be stuck on it, yet not enough detail to bore me. Excellent.

re: Kenpachi/Retsu... heh. Yeah, I do have to agree there - it's one of those "odd couple" things. At first, it made me "WTF?!", but then I started to get the feeling that it really could work. There has to be some reason or other why Unohana-taicho is feared by the 11th Division.
When imagining that pairing, I always feel like Retsu must the only person (aside from Yachiru) that could really control Kenpachi. :snigger:
 

drakensis

Well-Known Member
#13
It's fairly common in Bleach fanon to pair Unohana and Kenpachi.

I quite like the idea myself, although there are plenty of other amusing pairings available in Bleach, as seen above.
 

Fosfor

Well-Known Member
#14
toraneko said:
I particularly thought the part between Karin and her zanpakuto was excellent (Yuzu, a shinigami?! WTF...?). Tatsuki also; she dreamed of being a champion of no-holds-barred fighting, so... :lol:

(...)


re: Kenpachi/Retsu... heh. Yeah, I do have to agree there - it's one of those "odd couple" things. At first, it made me "WTF?!", but then I started to get the feeling that it really could work. There has to be some reason or other why Unohana-taicho is feared by the 11th Division.
When imagining that pairing, I always feel like Retsu must the only person (aside from Yachiru) that could really control Kenpachi. :snigger:
Well Yuzu's not EXACTLY a shinigami. Not one on active field duty anyway. I'll bet you'll be surprised just WHERE she ended up. Ichigo's friendship with Nemu... a big hint. B)

Also, Ichigo's dear old dad is back as the 9th division captain, much in the same way Yoruichi got reinstated and living people are drafted into service. Seireitei needs soldiers. Desperately. Competent soldiers with potential for major power? Even better. That's why Ichigo and his friends got so high up in chain of command (Keigo and Karin are rank-eqivalent of 6th seat, Tatsuki is 4th Onmitsukido battalion field commander and so forth)

And the thing with Karin's zanpakuto. Heh. It just jumped out of nowhere from my head in the middle pof writting this thing, fully formed and plotted out like it had a mind of it's own.

Keigo was... well not difficult to write, but difficult to plot out. Several years into the war and he's not quite... all there. He's and excellent, if eccentric shinigami, good officer but his psyche took a bit of a beating. Especially after loosing few friends and people he card about. He goes from "lazy, goofy over emotional loser-type" to "let's dismemeber people for fun" in a heartbeat. The fact that his zanpakuto is a s screwed up and as blaise and eager as she is about kiling doesn't help a thing.

Tatsuki? Heh. Tatsuki propably adapted the best. Better than Ichigo, even. Several years in Soul Society and she clibmed the Onmitsukido ranks on sheer guts and determination. She's only person in entire Onmitsukido who thinks having an all out, four way Ichigo/Yoruichi/Soi Fong brawl is fun. She's also the only person who likes to spar with Yoruichi and Soi Fong no holds barred. The girl is NUTS. And she's scarily powerful when you think that she started out from the bottom of the ladder to get to where she is today.

Kenpachi and Retsu. Hmm. Poluar pairing lately, but that's not why I put it in there. You're right, Unohana is feared by 11th division. No idea why, but she scares me too. She's all nice, gentle, womanly, nurturing... Normally I HATE that kind of characters, since they are timid, but Retsu ain't timid at all. In fact, she is seriously creepy. As in "total psycho under calm veneer" caliber creepy. When I see her with Kenpachi... Interaction is just hilarious! And can you imagine the KIDS?! A brood of fight obsessed, unwaveringly polite, creepy little psychos! This begs to be!

Hmmm... Drop the politeness, and you have Yachiru, come to think of it. And Unohana teaching Yachiru to behave more "womanly" in the best Unohana Retsu - serene badass fashion?

Damn, I must stop going off that tangent or I'll start writting yet another fanfic.

Thanks for comments and pointing out typos, Toraneko.
 

toraneko

Well-Known Member
#15
Glad to help. ^_^

Yeah, Unohana/Kenpachi is a "popular" pairing, but the way I see it, its popularity matters not. It's funny, in a "makes sense and that's scary" way.

I get your hint about Yuzu, but I'll keep my mouth shut. It makes me WTF, so I want to see how this is pulled off. :lol:

I read a fic - a collection of vignettes, really - that posed the idea that Unohana was once a member of the 11th Division, but something got her to see things a little differently, so now she's the scariest woman in the 4th. Again, scary, yet the idea kinda makes sense...
 

Mechatrill

Well-Known Member
#16
Hmm.... If the war is really as desperate as you've made it out to be, which it most likely is...

Will you be including appearences of Urahara and his helpers or Ishida Ry?ken? Or would they be just a few more lines on a very long list of KIA?

Also, with the war going as strongly as it is, how many captain seats are still open? Ichigo has taken the vacency left by Aizen, his dad took Tosen's space, but there's still the third squad. Since you've already mentioned Kurotsuchi Mayuri's death, how many, if any, other captains have fallen?

If there is any vacency in the captains position still left, I can't really see Renji staying a lieutenant. Ikkaku only managed to stay in 11th devision because he's kept his bankai secret, but Renji's bankai is most likely known to the other captains, so he'd be drafted much like Ichigo within days.
 

Fosfor

Well-Known Member
#17
Mechatrill said:
Hmm....? If the war is really as desperate as you've made it out to be, which it most likely is...?

Will you be including appearences of Urahara and his helpers or Ishida Ry¹ken?? Or would they be just a few more lines on a very long list of KIA??

Also, with the war going as strongly as it is, how many captain seats are still open?? Ichigo has taken the vacency left by Aizen, his dad took Tosen's space, but there's still the third squad.? Since you've already mentioned Kurotsuchi Mayuri's death, how many, if any, other captains have fallen?

If there is any vacency in the captains position still left, I can't really see Renji staying a lieutenant.? Ikkaku only managed to stay in 11th devision because he's kept his bankai secret, but Renji's bankai is most likely known to the other captains, so he'd be drafted much like Ichigo within days.
Renji is a 3rd division captain now. Ryuken is MIA, but there are strong hints he is actually dead. Mayuri is KIA, as was shown. Most of the captains still live due to their strength, but the death count ofor Gotei 13 was considerable. 5th division was nearly decimated, which is why Ichigo calls on his firends and associates to fill the vacant positions. He will have a hell of a time returning 5th to a full combat capacity. Especially since some people, like Tatsuki, are comfortable where they are and won't want to change their assignments.

Renji had been, like you said, drafted even though he was onsidered too unexperienced at first. But 3rd needed a strong shinigami as a symbol - Renji was it. Ichigo's draft was delayed because of several factors, his lack of experience, lack of knowledge, procedure and so on - all played a role.

He had been kept as "special operative" - read Yoruichi's weapon, errand boy and a wild card - until he had learned his way around Gotei 13 as a soldier, not just a freakishly powerful living weapon. There is more to captaincy than just swinging a zanpakuto, having monstrously powerful reiatsu level and a bankai, after all. Though he doesn't know it, Yoruichi and Yamamoto had been grooming him for captaincy since day one of his "reconstruction" by Yoruichi. All of his assignments, lessons and missions were carefully chosen to mold him to fit his future role. Manipulative, no doubt - but this is war. They can't afford to ignore any resource that might give Seireitei an edge. Though Yoruichi doesn't suspect yet that Yamamoto is grooming her for his own position should something happen.

And Urahara? Technically, he's KIA... But this is Urahara. You just NEVER know. He might be. He migh not be. He might have left some surprises behind. You never know. The guy is secretive, sneaky, underhanded and has a very, very dangerous mind.

Hmm. I think I said too much, so I'll let others speculate from now on. All of what i said will be shown in the fic later on. Including the 5th division reconstruction and the reasons for it.
 

Mechatrill

Well-Known Member
#18
Ah... so the Quincy is no more eh? Disappointing, but not unexpected...

Although... What of the Vizard? They should be easily captain level, and in a war this desperate, I can't really see Soul Society being prejudiced idiots and rejecting their help.

And... are Urahara's helper (Tessai, Ururu, and Jinta) on the KIA list with Urahara (and I mean WITH Urahara, hint hint, nudge nudge)? And speaking of side characters, whatever happened to Kon?

Say, how far has the war spread? Is it still limited in Karakura town?

Oh, last thing of all, I'm assuming that with the war going that badly, Captains and Lieutenants won't be having their power sealed when going to the living world anymore.
 

Fosfor

Well-Known Member
#19
Mechatrill said:
Ah... so the Quincy is no more eh? Disappointing, but not unexpected...

Although... What of the Vizard? They should be easily captain level, and in a war this desperate, I can't really see Soul Society being prejudiced idiots and rejecting their help.

And... are Urahara's helper (Tessai, Ururu, and Jinta) on the KIA list with Urahara (and I mean WITH Urahara, hint hint, nudge nudge)? And speaking of side characters, whatever happened to Kon?

Say, how far has the war spread? Is it still limited in Karakura town?

Oh, last thing of all, I'm assuming that with the war going that badly, Captains and Lieutenants won't be having their power sealed when going to the living world anymore.
Vaizards are MIA. Utterly. Soul Society, Hueco Mundo... NOBODY knows what happened. The just up and vanished. Ichigo is last vaizard alive, and according to Soul Society nomenclature he isn't a Vaizard - a mere technicality, but an important one.

Urahara's helpers still do their jobs, just without their oddball manager and they work fro Shiba Kuukaku now. Kon is in the living world doing some senaky, black ops Onmitsukido stuff for Yoruichi. Nobody aside from her and Yamamoto knows exactly what and Kon stays silent on the matter.

The war... Well, let's say it this way - it was local before. It isn't now. Why? It'll be shown. More of a problem is the fact that Soul Society is beeing attacked DIRECTLY, though not on regular basis. And that is MAJOR bad news, considering just how much resources Hueco Mundo looses with each attack yet they keep doing it without a care in the world.
 

Rogue15us

Well-Known Member
#20
Am I glad I stumbled across this story. I only got hooked on Bleach a week ago but I have been looking for anything related to it since then.

FF.net is it's usual self, a whole bunch of junk and one or two gems.

This story has been incredible so far. Can't say I like Rukia being dead but I can deal with that easily if it is a great story.

Can't wait to see where you are going to take this.

On another point. Can someone point me towards some good Bleach fics. Everything besides this one that I have found were really really bad.
 

kuopiofi

Well-Known Member
#21
Just a weird tought: Urahara and Vaizards are both completely of the radar... who's to say that it's coincidence... what if they are working something together... :evil:
 

DeathGod666

Well-Known Member
#22
^_^ Hey I was just wondering how this story is coming and if it has been dropped or not.
 

knight_of_ni

Well-Known Member
#23
I think fosfor has temporarily dropped all his other fics to work on a fic to vent the frustration he feels toward the Naruto manga. If you read it, you know why.
 

knight_of_ni

Well-Known Member
#25
A new one called "Burnout" it isn't done yet, but look for the basic premise of it in the ideas section and you can get an idea of what it is going to be like.

He also started a off shot with the same "Konoha basically screws Naruto over, but he has a back up plan" premise.
 
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