http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokecowspolitics.htm
Nanoha: You have two cows. You taught them how to better defend themselves against wolves.
Fate: You adopted two calves. Everyone agrees that they are adorable and will go on to make many more calves together.
Yuuno: You had one cow, and then you found 21 elephants. You gave away the elephants, then went looking for them when they got loose. Then you gave away your cow to the girl who helped you. Then YOU got put out to pasture. What happened?
Lindy: You have at least one cow, whose milk you use with your green tea. You had at least one prize bull, which you left to your son when you took a desk job. If you have any other cattle, you keep quiet about it.
Chrono: You have two cows, and you earned them the hard way! (You also get a bull through a little bit of nepotism, but you're nontheless qualified.) Eventually, you earn an entire herd of cattle, but now you're stuck in an office and hardly get to visit the ranch.
Hayate: You had no cows. Then you got four, and you declared them your children.
Signum: You have no use for cows or milking. You own two bulls and deal in rodeos.
Signum 2: You pasture your cows in wolf territory, and instead of using fences, you lay in wait.
Shamal: You had two cows. Now you have one batch of badly burnt hamburgers and a lot of curdled milk. You'll get it right one of these days!
Vita: You have two cows. No matter how much milk you drink, you're still a loli.
Zafira: You are torn between your desire to guard the cows as part of your purpose, and hunting the cows to assert that you are a WOLF, not a dog!
Arf: After a moment of poor impulse control, you have only one cow. You're wiser now, but at least it was a tasty lapse in judgment!
Scaglietti: You have twelve cows, but you're still not satisfied. Also, your ranchhead is a literal slavedriver, and you want to take over.
Genya: You raised two calves on your own after your wife died. Then you took on five more cows.
Subaru: You have one cow, inherited from your mother. Your sister has the other. Once, you took care of both cows together for a little bit, but later said that you couldn't handle them as well as your mother. Fans agree that this comment makes little sense.
Erio: You have two cows. You ride one into battle.
Caro: You have two cows. They are the happiest cows in the world.
Lutecia: You don't do cattle; you farm bees for honey.
Teana: You have two cows. You thought they were pretty pathetic compared to others' cows, but then you successfully outcompeted three different milking rivals at once, and got hired by a prestigous ranch.
Vivio: You have two cows. One is red and the other is green.
Ixpellia: You had two cows. Two undead, bloodthirsty cows. You're glad that you don't have them anymore.
Runessa: You had two cows. Then you used them as suicide bombs. You are now in jail.
Vivio: You have two cows. Some nuns think you're better off being a librarian than a milkmaid, but you think it's fun and rewarding anyway.
Ixpellia: You dream of two cows.
Rio: You have two cows: Fire and Lighting! People complain that you shouldn't have both.
Corona: You have two stone cows. You made them yourself.
Miura: You have three cows; they were gifts from Zafira, Signum and Vita, who taught you how to care for them. You're pretty good at it.
Einhart 1: You have two cows and absolutely no life outside of milking them.
Einhart 2: You have one cow, inherited from your distant ancestor. He used to have two, and the loss of the one has haunted his successors ever since.
Einhart 3: You have two cows, one blue and one purple. Some privately wonder why they aren't a contrasting pair of colors (blue/orange or purple/yellow) like Vivio's red/green.
Sieglinde: You have two cows. Everyone's expecting their eyes to burst into blue flame.
Els Tamin: You have no cows because your fences failed to keep them contained.
Thoma: You have two cows. One turns out to be some kind of Unison Device. The other might be a cyborg.
Nanoha: You have two cows. One half of your fanbase endlessly declares that you adore one and should get rid of the other. The other half wishes they'd relax.
Fate: You have one dog. She was eventually loli'fied and put in a library. This was a waste.
Yuuno: You have two cows, at least if the YuNanoFei fans have anything to say about it. Some insist you have the whole damn herd.
Nanoha: You have two cows. You taught them how to better defend themselves against wolves.
Fate: You adopted two calves. Everyone agrees that they are adorable and will go on to make many more calves together.
Yuuno: You had one cow, and then you found 21 elephants. You gave away the elephants, then went looking for them when they got loose. Then you gave away your cow to the girl who helped you. Then YOU got put out to pasture. What happened?
Lindy: You have at least one cow, whose milk you use with your green tea. You had at least one prize bull, which you left to your son when you took a desk job. If you have any other cattle, you keep quiet about it.
Chrono: You have two cows, and you earned them the hard way! (You also get a bull through a little bit of nepotism, but you're nontheless qualified.) Eventually, you earn an entire herd of cattle, but now you're stuck in an office and hardly get to visit the ranch.
Hayate: You had no cows. Then you got four, and you declared them your children.
Signum: You have no use for cows or milking. You own two bulls and deal in rodeos.
Signum 2: You pasture your cows in wolf territory, and instead of using fences, you lay in wait.
Shamal: You had two cows. Now you have one batch of badly burnt hamburgers and a lot of curdled milk. You'll get it right one of these days!
Vita: You have two cows. No matter how much milk you drink, you're still a loli.
Zafira: You are torn between your desire to guard the cows as part of your purpose, and hunting the cows to assert that you are a WOLF, not a dog!
Arf: After a moment of poor impulse control, you have only one cow. You're wiser now, but at least it was a tasty lapse in judgment!
Scaglietti: You have twelve cows, but you're still not satisfied. Also, your ranchhead is a literal slavedriver, and you want to take over.
Genya: You raised two calves on your own after your wife died. Then you took on five more cows.
Subaru: You have one cow, inherited from your mother. Your sister has the other. Once, you took care of both cows together for a little bit, but later said that you couldn't handle them as well as your mother. Fans agree that this comment makes little sense.
Erio: You have two cows. You ride one into battle.
Caro: You have two cows. They are the happiest cows in the world.
Lutecia: You don't do cattle; you farm bees for honey.
Teana: You have two cows. You thought they were pretty pathetic compared to others' cows, but then you successfully outcompeted three different milking rivals at once, and got hired by a prestigous ranch.
Vivio: You have two cows. One is red and the other is green.
Ixpellia: You had two cows. Two undead, bloodthirsty cows. You're glad that you don't have them anymore.
Runessa: You had two cows. Then you used them as suicide bombs. You are now in jail.
Vivio: You have two cows. Some nuns think you're better off being a librarian than a milkmaid, but you think it's fun and rewarding anyway.
Ixpellia: You dream of two cows.
Rio: You have two cows: Fire and Lighting! People complain that you shouldn't have both.
Corona: You have two stone cows. You made them yourself.
Miura: You have three cows; they were gifts from Zafira, Signum and Vita, who taught you how to care for them. You're pretty good at it.
Einhart 1: You have two cows and absolutely no life outside of milking them.
Einhart 2: You have one cow, inherited from your distant ancestor. He used to have two, and the loss of the one has haunted his successors ever since.
Einhart 3: You have two cows, one blue and one purple. Some privately wonder why they aren't a contrasting pair of colors (blue/orange or purple/yellow) like Vivio's red/green.
Sieglinde: You have two cows. Everyone's expecting their eyes to burst into blue flame.
Els Tamin: You have no cows because your fences failed to keep them contained.
Thoma: You have two cows. One turns out to be some kind of Unison Device. The other might be a cyborg.
Nanoha: You have two cows. One half of your fanbase endlessly declares that you adore one and should get rid of the other. The other half wishes they'd relax.
Fate: You have one dog. She was eventually loli'fied and put in a library. This was a waste.
Yuuno: You have two cows, at least if the YuNanoFei fans have anything to say about it. Some insist you have the whole damn herd.
