Alternate AI's for Master Chief

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pacifist

Well-Known Member
#1
#1
Inspired by the Alternate Guardians For Shinji/Harry Potter threads.

While Cortana has proven herself a truely great AI helpful, capable, and wonderfully sarcastic.
Its time for the second stringers to take over.

The programming from intelligent non-organic robots are allowed as well.

To start off.

Holly from Red Dwarf. Male or Female version.

"Holly, I need you to engage Halo's self destruct."
"And how do I do that then?"
"You keep telling me you have an IQ of 6,000 figure it out and fast."
"6,000's not that much, its the same IQ as 12,000 car park attendants."

Emergency Medical Hologram from ST Voyager.

"I've been thinking about taking up opera, just listen to my rendition of Il trovatore."
"Master Chief why are you removing your helmet? I'm certain thats not how you hold a shotg........"


Robby the Robot from lost in space.

"Danger, Will Robinson, Danger."
"My name is Master Chief damn it."
 
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Luthorne

Well-Known Member
#3
#3
InternetLOL said:
GLaDOS.
Click to expand...
GLa...damn you for picking the best one.

HAL 9000, from the Space Odyssey Series.

Friend Computer from Paranoia.

Tik-Tok, from the Oz series.

Marvin the Robot from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

C-3PO from Star Wars.
 
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JiigarGhen

Well-Known Member
#4
#4
InternetLOL said:
GLaDOS.
Click to expand...
This inspires crack. Must write it.


----------------------------
An Unggoy scout group moved cautiously through the human city. None of them were happy with their new duties, as the Kig-Yar were the ones usually delegated to scout. However, their battle groups squadron of Kig-Yar had been decimated in an ambush by the human troops, and the Sangheili in command of their little group had ordered them to the front to replace the lost scouts.

Layin, a minor Unggoy official, trodded along the street, his thoughts turning to the container of precious lung gold he had acquired, thanks to his slaying of a Marine who had managed to take down the platoon's previous Sangheili officer. He had been just about to take a whiff when the call for assembly came and he had been sent out here...

A smell wafted over the party. It was almost like....lung gold! As one, the troop of Unggoy began altering their course towards the smell, unnoticed by the Sangheili. Even as they rounded the next corner, they saw it. A massive cake of solidified benzene, big enough to melt down and give a month's worth of whiffs to the entire troop.

"By the rings!" exclaimed the Sangheili. "Hold, Unggoy! I have no doubt that it's a trap by the humans and their demon." Having said that, he advanced cautiously and examined the cake of benzene. Even as he touched it, a pit opened up underneath him and he fell into the darkness.

"EEEK! Run for it!" squealed Layin. However, despite their attempts to run, more of the pits opened up beneath the Unggoy and they fell screaming into the black unknown.

-------------------------------------

In a nearby building, the Master Chief sat with his armor linked into a mainframe computer, humming a repetitive song.

-------------------------------------

Layin fled, shrieking in fear, somehow managing to leap across the pits that opened in his path, leaving the deadly cake in the street behind. He couldn't avoid the square object flying at his chest, however, and it was a wounded and terrified Unggoy that crawled back into the shuttle.

"What happened, Unggoy! Speak! Where are the rest of your troops, where is the Sangheili who was sent with you?!"

As poor Layin gasped for methane, his respirator having been heavily damaged by the flying object, he spoke five words:

"The cake....is...a...lie...."

~Fin~
 
L

Luthorne

Well-Known Member
#5
#5
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Hilarity buffers...overflowing...
 
O

okais

Well-Known Member
#6
#6
Petey or TAG from schlock mercenary.
 
I

InternetLOL

Well-Known Member
#7
#7
Also, SHODAN.

"Lo-o-ok at y-you, c-cyborg. A pa-pathetic creat-t-ture of metal and bone, panting and sweating as you r-run through my corridors-s. How can challenge a perfect, immortal machine?"
 
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SotF

Well-Known Member
#8
#8
"Query: Can I wipe out all the meatbags on this station?"
 
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shinzero01

Well-Known Member
#10
#10
yeah.. I'd like to see a Shodan one.

Sechs from Battle Angel would go good as well. I'd imagine the Brute Hammer would be a favored weapon.

Gillian from Outlaw star...

Sovereign from Mass Effect.

The Major from Ghost In The Shell

Bender

Marvel Comic's Ultron. Nothing better than having an evil AI thats perfectly willing to commit genocide.
 
I

InternetLOL

Well-Known Member
#12
#12
SotF said:
"Query: Can I wipe out all the meatbags on this station?"
Click to expand...
You know what? Fuck GLaDOS and SHODAN. This is made of potential and awesome.
 
R

Ryogas_BF

Well-Known Member
#14
#14
What you need is a guide that always know the right things to do... Navi

"Hey listen!"

:evil2:
 
J

JiigarGhen

Well-Known Member
#15
#15
Ryogas_BF said:
What you need is a guide that always know the right things to do... Navi

"Hey listen!"

:evil2:
Click to expand...
Nah, Navi would be one of the Covenant's 'Oracles'. The most annoying Forerunner construct evar! :lol:
 
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Shiakou

Well-Known Member
#17
#17
What Master Chief's AI needs is an upgrade in firepower.

I nominate Raising Heart.
 
S

Souffle

Well-Known Member
#18
#18
Shiakou said:
What Master Chief's AI needs is an upgrade in firepower.

I nominate Raising Heart.
Click to expand...
Who would need Halos if Raging Heart existed?
 
S

SotF

Well-Known Member
#19
#19
InternetLOL said:
SotF said:
"Query: Can I wipe out all the meatbags on this station?"
Click to expand...
You know what? Fuck GLaDOS and SHODAN. This is made of potential and awesome.
Click to expand...
Imagine Guilty Spark's reaction to the AI now running the HALO...

Hell, Master Chief trying to figure out why the hell he interfaced the lunatic with it would also be amusing.

AI Rampancy has got nothing on HK-47...
 
D

drakensis

Well-Known Member
#22
#22
"Happiness is mandatory, Master Chief. The Computer says so and The Computer is your friend. Do you doubt The Computer? Doubting the Computer is treason."

"Is there any possible way that I can trade you in for an AI that doesn't always talk about itself in the third person?"

"I'm sorry, Master Chief. That information is not available at your clearance. The information that is available is that The Computer's initial iteration was perfect. The second version installed in your armor is even more perfect. The Computer says so, so it must be true."
 
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Luthorne

Well-Known Member
#23
#23
drakensis said:
"Happiness is mandatory, Master Chief. The Computer says so and The Computer is your friend. Do you doubt The Computer? Doubting the Computer is treason."

"Is there any possible way that I can trade you in for an AI that doesn't always talk about itself in the third person?"

"I'm sorry, Master Chief. That information is not available at your clearance. The information that is available is that The Computer's initial iteration was perfect. The second version installed in your armor is even more perfect. The Computer says so, so it must be true."
Click to expand...
Hah! Someone else likes that idea. :snigger:

Paranoia rocks. :sisi:
 
P

pacifist

Well-Known Member
#25
#25
Rosie from the jetsons.

Orac from Blake 7.

A Bolo AI

Lopez from Red vs Blue. Hope the chief knows spanish. :D
 
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