Akamatsuverse An Eva for You!
- Thread starter Prince Charon
- Start date
I feel inspired. *Cackles maliciously.*
---
There are times when being light-sensitive and sound-sensitive while asleep are good.
And then there are the times where those conditions are not so pleasant.
Much to my annoyance, I was currently not in the bed that I had gone to sleep in. Instead, I was laying in middle of some sort of room filled with far too much sunlight and... dolls? Bad feeling is now active, causing goosebumps to rise up on my arms.
Was that one in front of my face holding a butcher knife and threatening to gut me if I 'ever even thought to harm the Great Mistress Evangeline?' Yep, the knife even looks like its been honed to an exceeding sharp edge.
At that point, I was looking for an opportunity to GET THAT KNIFE THE FRAK AWAY FROM MY THROAT, and I just happened to have struck the golden distrac....
Are those ear attachments sticking up from her head? I'm not sure what sort of dream this was, but I was fairly certain that I would be waking up soon while clawing out my eyes and screaming in terror, which might bring someone, anyone who was at least mostly normal to my rescue.
It was about this time that I realized that I was lacking in certain areas and had gained in a few undesirable other areas. I could hear the...maid, I suppose, talking to me, but I had no interest in actually using anything I was hearing from that direction. Back to taking stock now, I saw that I did have a duffel bag next to me, overflowing with clothes and my well-weathered and constant companion for many years of outdoors activities, my blue 'sling-pack, which had also been just barely zipped closed. My ever-reliable 'bad feeling' was causing my spine to uncontrollably quake in the terror of whatever was coming. I pinched myself at that point, because I wanted out if this was a dream.
I blinked. "Mahrgtef." Well, look at that, my mouth wasn't working and was spewing out a random word that had resulted from a typo during an online chat. Here's what the following thoughts were:
Breaking out of my internal monologue with myself, I became aware that, yes indeed, a girl fitting that description had entered the room. She looked to be about eleven years old, which made her more likely to be eight or nine with how kids are these days.
You know those times where you realize, 'Huh, I forgot to take my crazy pills today." I was beginning to realize that right now was one of those times. Okay, she's just staring at me, as if I'm supposed to understand her thoughts and respond to them. Uh, the maid is saying words to me, and I'm not understanding them. Well, that means these people don't generally talk in English, German, or Latin. Wonderful.
Allow me to describe the scene to myself to understand how messed up this situation was.
Wait. What?
She just froze some of those dolls into ice cubes. And now she seems to be asking some sort of question while smirking far too much at me. My reply was brutally simple and hopefully not understood by her. "Am I dead yet?"
"No." Her curt reply in flawless English surprised me. It also told me that this was not going to be enjoyable. Regardless, this shouldn't be worse than Organic Chemistry, right?
Right?
"Shit."
--
And, cut. That's all I have right now. And yes, my thought train would and does work like that in Real Life. So, how is it?
Admittedly, I haven't read very much of Negima yet, so I might be slow to type any other snippets up. Regardless, I'll do my best to keep things fairly in-character for everyone, even myself. Also, expect panicking to soon occur as 'I' realize where I am and how doomed 'I' am, because I don't know much about the events of Negima. Also, I specifically took away the whole 'can read, write, and speak in all languages that Eva can" simply for kicks (and because I forgot about that).
---
There are times when being light-sensitive and sound-sensitive while asleep are good.
And then there are the times where those conditions are not so pleasant.
Much to my annoyance, I was currently not in the bed that I had gone to sleep in. Instead, I was laying in middle of some sort of room filled with far too much sunlight and... dolls? Bad feeling is now active, causing goosebumps to rise up on my arms.
Was that one in front of my face holding a butcher knife and threatening to gut me if I 'ever even thought to harm the Great Mistress Evangeline?' Yep, the knife even looks like its been honed to an exceeding sharp edge.
At that point, I was looking for an opportunity to GET THAT KNIFE THE FRAK AWAY FROM MY THROAT, and I just happened to have struck the golden distrac....
Are those ear attachments sticking up from her head? I'm not sure what sort of dream this was, but I was fairly certain that I would be waking up soon while clawing out my eyes and screaming in terror, which might bring someone, anyone who was at least mostly normal to my rescue.
It was about this time that I realized that I was lacking in certain areas and had gained in a few undesirable other areas. I could hear the...maid, I suppose, talking to me, but I had no interest in actually using anything I was hearing from that direction. Back to taking stock now, I saw that I did have a duffel bag next to me, overflowing with clothes and my well-weathered and constant companion for many years of outdoors activities, my blue 'sling-pack, which had also been just barely zipped closed. My ever-reliable 'bad feeling' was causing my spine to uncontrollably quake in the terror of whatever was coming. I pinched myself at that point, because I wanted out if this was a dream.
I blinked. "Mahrgtef." Well, look at that, my mouth wasn't working and was spewing out a random word that had resulted from a typo during an online chat. Here's what the following thoughts were:
Breaking out of my internal monologue with myself, I became aware that, yes indeed, a girl fitting that description had entered the room. She looked to be about eleven years old, which made her more likely to be eight or nine with how kids are these days.
You know those times where you realize, 'Huh, I forgot to take my crazy pills today." I was beginning to realize that right now was one of those times. Okay, she's just staring at me, as if I'm supposed to understand her thoughts and respond to them. Uh, the maid is saying words to me, and I'm not understanding them. Well, that means these people don't generally talk in English, German, or Latin. Wonderful.
Allow me to describe the scene to myself to understand how messed up this situation was.
Wait. What?
She just froze some of those dolls into ice cubes. And now she seems to be asking some sort of question while smirking far too much at me. My reply was brutally simple and hopefully not understood by her. "Am I dead yet?"
"No." Her curt reply in flawless English surprised me. It also told me that this was not going to be enjoyable. Regardless, this shouldn't be worse than Organic Chemistry, right?
Right?
"Shit."
--
And, cut. That's all I have right now. And yes, my thought train would and does work like that in Real Life. So, how is it?
Admittedly, I haven't read very much of Negima yet, so I might be slow to type any other snippets up. Regardless, I'll do my best to keep things fairly in-character for everyone, even myself. Also, expect panicking to soon occur as 'I' realize where I am and how doomed 'I' am, because I don't know much about the events of Negima. Also, I specifically took away the whole 'can read, write, and speak in all languages that Eva can" simply for kicks (and because I forgot about that).
Well now it's my turn to apply the shock paddles to this thread as 'I' return for more embarrassment and awkward mental moments.
Snippet #2: Back at School
"Alright, so I'm supposed to be engaged to you and live with you and your dolls and maids here. I haven't misunderstood anything so far, have I?"
That grin of hers is either going to kill me or I am going to learn to love it, because I don't think I have any other options. Right now, we're an exceeding formal dining room, being served tea by her doll-maids. I am trying to handle calmly the massive information dump that I had just received from her and am attempting to break it down just as I had done with some college lectures."You're taking this well for a normal human so far."
I nodded sincerely at her comment. "Yeah, I'm waiting for when my brain," I hold my hands together to symbolize that important organ which is beginning to give a great throbbing pain behind my eyes, "Asplodes.'" My hands then make the conventional gesture for an explosion. I could tell she was amused by that antic, even if her Murder-Doll named Chachazero wasn't. Actually, she was more in favor of cutting my brain into ribbons and then making it explode, according to her ramblings to her girl-master.
Her giggles are oddly cute somehow as I watch her control her amusement at my ridiculous statement , gestures, and sound effects. I planted my face into the palm of my left hand at that thought, realizing that my thinking patterns and hormones were all messed up. Well, time to return to the task at hand: getting the story straightened up so it made sense.
"Okay. So that whole 'engagement' occurred because some random god popped up out of nowhere and gave you an offer that you apparently can't afford to pass the chance up. Additionally, I was apparently dying at that point, because I had gotten mugged in Atlanta on a family trip there I don't remember being planned." I paused at this point to cautiously take my first sips from my tea after waiting for her to drink first and also due to talking. Paranoia does have it benefits, even it apparently failed me for the last time in Atlanta. I wonder if that means I should be less paranoid and more extroverted and trusting like I was when I last was at this age?
Nah, probably mean that I just didn't start being paranoid soon enough in my original life.
Suddenly, I blink as I make a realization. Who am I to talk about paranoia when I didn't even know my 'gracious' hostess's name or where I am? "Uh, before I go on with my summary, what was your name again?"
Her reply is simple and matter-of-fact. "Evangeline A.K. McDowell. I would say that I'm pleased to meet you, but you're not exactly the type of person whom I thought some god could call upon."
The first name resonates in my mind more than the last for some odd reason. Where is it that I recognize it from? "It's certainly an odd name for someone in Japan." Japan, an odd place that I never had wanted to go. Apparently, according to Evangeline, that's where I am, at some school named Mahora...something or another. I couldn't be blamed for being distracted by all of the random items in this cabin, could I? I probably could be, but it's time to think about more mineral-rich topics. And there I go down Memory Lane with that old joke from Boy Scouts.
In my mental dialogues about how I wished that I was still getting my ADD medication right now, I forgot about the ancient and powerful girl-thing in front of me. A sudden loss of air and a sudden gain of pain send a clear and obvious message to my brain: I am being paged on Pain Nerve Seventy-two. Looking up from my new location on the floor, I am struck with the realization that little girls are credible threats to my existence once more. Her left foot is tapping impatiently by my left ear. Clearly she wishe-"So, will you return the favor of introducing yourself, or will I have to persuade that information from you?" Okay, she apparently doesn't know my name yet, which is either good or bad depending on how the next five minutes pass.
Old friends in my previous life, which is one really awkward way of putting things, might have fallen over themselves in their attempts at throwing their bodies at her. I, on the other hand, am just now putting together the clues of my current situation in my brain. I take the simple route of going with a couple of nicknames from high school and college for the name I give her. Knowing my luck if I use my actual name, someone would recognize it and me, and that would not be pleasant since there would be more laughing and mocking of my situation. "My name is Tiberius Self. I would say it's a pleasure to meet you, but I still don't know why I'm where I am."
"Oh, quit your whining. If you're going to be associated with me, then I'm going to make sure you don't reflect badly on me." That grin of hers is certainly bad news, especially since she was just scowling in obvious annoyance at me and I know I didn't say anything to make her smile. "In fact, let's get started on making you less useless to me. Chachamaru, bring him to the resort."
"Yes, Master." Since I'm laying still on the floor, The doll-maid-robot-girl easily picks me up and drags me out of the room. For the first time since my arrival, I retain my dignity, or what passes for it now. Inwardly, I rage in frustration that I still don't know everything about my situation.
Wait. Chachamaru, Evangeline, Chachazero, and Resort all strike one series of bells in my mind. Oh shit, I'm screwed. This will not end simply for me. At this rate, whatever godling brought my soul here will turn out to be my older brother from my original life in some sort of Master Plan. He was such a bastard when it came to Master Plans, especially with That Damn Smirk.
---And, cut! Any input would be welcome, and it has a chance of influencing whether I skip to Negi's arrival or if I continue destroying 'my' pride and ego as a human being. I might even explain my plans for 'myself.'
EDIT: Due to a discussion with the mentioned older brother, I have a tentative idea of a Pactio artifact that 'I' would get. Not named yet, and I'm still trying to balance my idea of it out, but it seems to be promising.
Snippet #2: Back at School
"Alright, so I'm supposed to be engaged to you and live with you and your dolls and maids here. I haven't misunderstood anything so far, have I?"
That grin of hers is either going to kill me or I am going to learn to love it, because I don't think I have any other options. Right now, we're an exceeding formal dining room, being served tea by her doll-maids. I am trying to handle calmly the massive information dump that I had just received from her and am attempting to break it down just as I had done with some college lectures."You're taking this well for a normal human so far."
I nodded sincerely at her comment. "Yeah, I'm waiting for when my brain," I hold my hands together to symbolize that important organ which is beginning to give a great throbbing pain behind my eyes, "Asplodes.'" My hands then make the conventional gesture for an explosion. I could tell she was amused by that antic, even if her Murder-Doll named Chachazero wasn't. Actually, she was more in favor of cutting my brain into ribbons and then making it explode, according to her ramblings to her girl-master.
Her giggles are oddly cute somehow as I watch her control her amusement at my ridiculous statement , gestures, and sound effects. I planted my face into the palm of my left hand at that thought, realizing that my thinking patterns and hormones were all messed up. Well, time to return to the task at hand: getting the story straightened up so it made sense.
"Okay. So that whole 'engagement' occurred because some random god popped up out of nowhere and gave you an offer that you apparently can't afford to pass the chance up. Additionally, I was apparently dying at that point, because I had gotten mugged in Atlanta on a family trip there I don't remember being planned." I paused at this point to cautiously take my first sips from my tea after waiting for her to drink first and also due to talking. Paranoia does have it benefits, even it apparently failed me for the last time in Atlanta. I wonder if that means I should be less paranoid and more extroverted and trusting like I was when I last was at this age?
Nah, probably mean that I just didn't start being paranoid soon enough in my original life.
Suddenly, I blink as I make a realization. Who am I to talk about paranoia when I didn't even know my 'gracious' hostess's name or where I am? "Uh, before I go on with my summary, what was your name again?"
Her reply is simple and matter-of-fact. "Evangeline A.K. McDowell. I would say that I'm pleased to meet you, but you're not exactly the type of person whom I thought some god could call upon."
The first name resonates in my mind more than the last for some odd reason. Where is it that I recognize it from? "It's certainly an odd name for someone in Japan." Japan, an odd place that I never had wanted to go. Apparently, according to Evangeline, that's where I am, at some school named Mahora...something or another. I couldn't be blamed for being distracted by all of the random items in this cabin, could I? I probably could be, but it's time to think about more mineral-rich topics. And there I go down Memory Lane with that old joke from Boy Scouts.
In my mental dialogues about how I wished that I was still getting my ADD medication right now, I forgot about the ancient and powerful girl-thing in front of me. A sudden loss of air and a sudden gain of pain send a clear and obvious message to my brain: I am being paged on Pain Nerve Seventy-two. Looking up from my new location on the floor, I am struck with the realization that little girls are credible threats to my existence once more. Her left foot is tapping impatiently by my left ear. Clearly she wishe-"So, will you return the favor of introducing yourself, or will I have to persuade that information from you?" Okay, she apparently doesn't know my name yet, which is either good or bad depending on how the next five minutes pass.
Old friends in my previous life, which is one really awkward way of putting things, might have fallen over themselves in their attempts at throwing their bodies at her. I, on the other hand, am just now putting together the clues of my current situation in my brain. I take the simple route of going with a couple of nicknames from high school and college for the name I give her. Knowing my luck if I use my actual name, someone would recognize it and me, and that would not be pleasant since there would be more laughing and mocking of my situation. "My name is Tiberius Self. I would say it's a pleasure to meet you, but I still don't know why I'm where I am."
"Oh, quit your whining. If you're going to be associated with me, then I'm going to make sure you don't reflect badly on me." That grin of hers is certainly bad news, especially since she was just scowling in obvious annoyance at me and I know I didn't say anything to make her smile. "In fact, let's get started on making you less useless to me. Chachamaru, bring him to the resort."
"Yes, Master." Since I'm laying still on the floor, The doll-maid-robot-girl easily picks me up and drags me out of the room. For the first time since my arrival, I retain my dignity, or what passes for it now. Inwardly, I rage in frustration that I still don't know everything about my situation.
Wait. Chachamaru, Evangeline, Chachazero, and Resort all strike one series of bells in my mind. Oh shit, I'm screwed. This will not end simply for me. At this rate, whatever godling brought my soul here will turn out to be my older brother from my original life in some sort of Master Plan. He was such a bastard when it came to Master Plans, especially with That Damn Smirk.
---And, cut! Any input would be welcome, and it has a chance of influencing whether I skip to Negi's arrival or if I continue destroying 'my' pride and ego as a human being. I might even explain my plans for 'myself.'
EDIT: Due to a discussion with the mentioned older brother, I have a tentative idea of a Pactio artifact that 'I' would get. Not named yet, and I'm still trying to balance my idea of it out, but it seems to be promising.
It's been a while since I've done any writing so go easy on me...
When you fall, it's important not to lock your joints, not to land flat-footed, to flex (and if necessary, roll) as you land so that your impact is minimized and you cause yourself the least damage possible. Ideally this is behavior is train into a person until it becomes instinct. Barring that, hopefully one realizes that falling is a distinct possibility given their situation and is prepared to consciously enact these measures.
My training on how to fall correctly can be charitably described as 'minimal'. Certainly not enough for correct landings to be instinctual for me. Considering how much of a spaz I am any landing that doesn't leave me howling in pain, bleeding everywhere or in urgent need of a doctor is a bonus in my book. None of this falling business should have been particularly relevant, lying on the couch, watching anime on the TV and slowly drifting off to sleep but as my eyes, unknowingly for the last time, fluttered shut on the world of my birth I was about to have my world dropped out from under me...
~
I'm something of a heavy sleeper. On their own, the air rushing past my face and the high pitched, girlish voice shrieking in indignant rage would've taken a good five, maybe ten minutes to bring me to full wakefulness. Did I mention the air rushing past my face? Yeah? Well that was me falling from ceiling height. Hitting along the long edge of the bed (half on half off), bouncing a bit back up into the air (flipping in the process) and hitting the wooden floor back first (with all the grace and skill of a wet noodle), well that woke me right up.
ôHmm, That shouldn't have happened. I was aiming for the bed. Well, in any event that's my cue to go, don't have too much fun and make make sure to send me to send me an invite to the wedding ohohohoho!ö The words, said in the most insufferably smug voice I'd ever heard (and the fuck was up with that laugh?) were followed by a small 'pop' of displaced air.
During the dead silence that followed Mr Smarm's somewhat perplexing little announcement I levered myself into a sitting position, reached behind myself to rub at my aching back and immediately noticed several things that left me more than a little disconcerted. Firstly, I'm normally about 6'2ö ( ~188 cm for you metric sorts), I couldn't guess my exact height at that moment but judging by my eye level relative to the bed and to the little girl standing several feet in front of me at the moment I'd be lucky if I managed to break 5 feet. Secondly, though I've never been fat, I've never been super fit but I hadn't been this pudgy since elementary school. Thirdly, there was the fact that I could see the aforementioned girl in front of me clearly when I clearly didn't have my glasses on. Certainly my eyesight isn't so terrible that I wouldn't have been been able to see her at all but everything more than three or four feet from my face shouldn't have had a blur to it and though the room wasn't enormous by any stretch I still shouldn't have been able to see all if it with the crystal clarity I did. Hell, by the looks of things my sight now was better than it normally was with glasses.
Of course all that was really just my brain putting off dealing with the prime weirdness factor present in the room. Namely, the little blonde girl, dressed in loli-goth style, face scrunched up in anger, fists balled at her sides, short hitching breaths shaking her frame and pure malice such as I've never felt from anyone, let alone one so young, radiating from every pore. The awkward silence is broken when she notices that I'm staring at her. Green eyes meet blue and,
ôWhat do you think you're looking at?!ö
Oddly enough though I can tell the question has been asked in Japanese, a language that last I was I aware I only knew about 10 words of, I find that understanding it feels just as natural as English to me and that, as I think of how to respond it's just as easy to do so in that language as it would be in my own native tongue. Not that it's particularly easy to formulate a response given the circumstances, but it's comforting to know for sure that I'll at least be understood when I put my foot in my mouth. Speaking of, it looks like, tired of waiting for some rational input from my brain my mouth's decided to go on autopilot.
ôWell sooo-ry! It's not like I just got mysteriously chibified; mysteriously had my eyesight corrected; mysteriously learned Japanese, and who knows what else mind you; mysteriously ended up in a room with the evilest/angriest looking little girl I've ever seen in my life and that's before you even get into the ôbounce into the floorö wake up call or that bullshit about weddings that dude was talking about. The fuck is going on here?ö
As I watched, waiting for a response, the girl at first seemed to seethe with an even greater rage than before, before slowly, obviously doing her best to remain calm, she began to answer me.
ôThat 'dude' arrived here, seemingly from nowhere and in defiance of many wards which would normally prevent such travel, with the stated intention of granting me a wish. Naturally, I was skeptical, but given my imprisonment here I thought it foolish not to grab for a chance at freedom as it presented itself...ö
~
ôI wish that the curse that binds me to this infernal school were broken!ö
ôWhat was that? You want a suitable fiance?ö
ôNO DAMN YOU! FREEDOM! I WAN'T TO LEAVE THIS PLACE!ö
ôWell finding a good match for you will be tricky, hmm...ö
ôI'LL HAVE YOUR GUTS FOR GARTERS!ö
ô...probably have to bind them to you... but... yes that could work...ö
ôHNNNNRRRGHH!ö
~
ôThat's about when you showed up. I'd have probably just killed you while you were still dazed but it seems such a waste considering I couldn't even drain your blood right now and in any event whatever the bastard did appears to have forged some kind of link between us and I wouldn't want to risk the backlash snapping that sort of thing can cause, especially with not with my powers at their lowest ebb...ö
At this point I was pretty thoroughly confused. For every question of mine that had been answered in that little rant about 20 more had sprung up. Since it seemed that she was done talking for the moment I decided to keep the conversation moving.
ôSo, uh, thanks I guess. I'm not totally sure what's going on, but it seems like I'm going to have to stick around at least until this all gets sorted out so we should probably introduce ourselves or something. My name's David.ö
ôEvangeline. Evangeline A. K. McDowell.ö
'This... this could be a problem' was my last conscious thought before the shock got to be a bit much for me and blackness took me...
When you fall, it's important not to lock your joints, not to land flat-footed, to flex (and if necessary, roll) as you land so that your impact is minimized and you cause yourself the least damage possible. Ideally this is behavior is train into a person until it becomes instinct. Barring that, hopefully one realizes that falling is a distinct possibility given their situation and is prepared to consciously enact these measures.
My training on how to fall correctly can be charitably described as 'minimal'. Certainly not enough for correct landings to be instinctual for me. Considering how much of a spaz I am any landing that doesn't leave me howling in pain, bleeding everywhere or in urgent need of a doctor is a bonus in my book. None of this falling business should have been particularly relevant, lying on the couch, watching anime on the TV and slowly drifting off to sleep but as my eyes, unknowingly for the last time, fluttered shut on the world of my birth I was about to have my world dropped out from under me...
~
I'm something of a heavy sleeper. On their own, the air rushing past my face and the high pitched, girlish voice shrieking in indignant rage would've taken a good five, maybe ten minutes to bring me to full wakefulness. Did I mention the air rushing past my face? Yeah? Well that was me falling from ceiling height. Hitting along the long edge of the bed (half on half off), bouncing a bit back up into the air (flipping in the process) and hitting the wooden floor back first (with all the grace and skill of a wet noodle), well that woke me right up.
ôHmm, That shouldn't have happened. I was aiming for the bed. Well, in any event that's my cue to go, don't have too much fun and make make sure to send me to send me an invite to the wedding ohohohoho!ö The words, said in the most insufferably smug voice I'd ever heard (and the fuck was up with that laugh?) were followed by a small 'pop' of displaced air.
During the dead silence that followed Mr Smarm's somewhat perplexing little announcement I levered myself into a sitting position, reached behind myself to rub at my aching back and immediately noticed several things that left me more than a little disconcerted. Firstly, I'm normally about 6'2ö ( ~188 cm for you metric sorts), I couldn't guess my exact height at that moment but judging by my eye level relative to the bed and to the little girl standing several feet in front of me at the moment I'd be lucky if I managed to break 5 feet. Secondly, though I've never been fat, I've never been super fit but I hadn't been this pudgy since elementary school. Thirdly, there was the fact that I could see the aforementioned girl in front of me clearly when I clearly didn't have my glasses on. Certainly my eyesight isn't so terrible that I wouldn't have been been able to see her at all but everything more than three or four feet from my face shouldn't have had a blur to it and though the room wasn't enormous by any stretch I still shouldn't have been able to see all if it with the crystal clarity I did. Hell, by the looks of things my sight now was better than it normally was with glasses.
Of course all that was really just my brain putting off dealing with the prime weirdness factor present in the room. Namely, the little blonde girl, dressed in loli-goth style, face scrunched up in anger, fists balled at her sides, short hitching breaths shaking her frame and pure malice such as I've never felt from anyone, let alone one so young, radiating from every pore. The awkward silence is broken when she notices that I'm staring at her. Green eyes meet blue and,
ôWhat do you think you're looking at?!ö
Oddly enough though I can tell the question has been asked in Japanese, a language that last I was I aware I only knew about 10 words of, I find that understanding it feels just as natural as English to me and that, as I think of how to respond it's just as easy to do so in that language as it would be in my own native tongue. Not that it's particularly easy to formulate a response given the circumstances, but it's comforting to know for sure that I'll at least be understood when I put my foot in my mouth. Speaking of, it looks like, tired of waiting for some rational input from my brain my mouth's decided to go on autopilot.
ôWell sooo-ry! It's not like I just got mysteriously chibified; mysteriously had my eyesight corrected; mysteriously learned Japanese, and who knows what else mind you; mysteriously ended up in a room with the evilest/angriest looking little girl I've ever seen in my life and that's before you even get into the ôbounce into the floorö wake up call or that bullshit about weddings that dude was talking about. The fuck is going on here?ö
As I watched, waiting for a response, the girl at first seemed to seethe with an even greater rage than before, before slowly, obviously doing her best to remain calm, she began to answer me.
ôThat 'dude' arrived here, seemingly from nowhere and in defiance of many wards which would normally prevent such travel, with the stated intention of granting me a wish. Naturally, I was skeptical, but given my imprisonment here I thought it foolish not to grab for a chance at freedom as it presented itself...ö
~
ôI wish that the curse that binds me to this infernal school were broken!ö
ôWhat was that? You want a suitable fiance?ö
ôNO DAMN YOU! FREEDOM! I WAN'T TO LEAVE THIS PLACE!ö
ôWell finding a good match for you will be tricky, hmm...ö
ôI'LL HAVE YOUR GUTS FOR GARTERS!ö
ô...probably have to bind them to you... but... yes that could work...ö
ôHNNNNRRRGHH!ö
~
ôThat's about when you showed up. I'd have probably just killed you while you were still dazed but it seems such a waste considering I couldn't even drain your blood right now and in any event whatever the bastard did appears to have forged some kind of link between us and I wouldn't want to risk the backlash snapping that sort of thing can cause, especially with not with my powers at their lowest ebb...ö
At this point I was pretty thoroughly confused. For every question of mine that had been answered in that little rant about 20 more had sprung up. Since it seemed that she was done talking for the moment I decided to keep the conversation moving.
ôSo, uh, thanks I guess. I'm not totally sure what's going on, but it seems like I'm going to have to stick around at least until this all gets sorted out so we should probably introduce ourselves or something. My name's David.ö
ôEvangeline. Evangeline A. K. McDowell.ö
'This... this could be a problem' was my last conscious thought before the shock got to be a bit much for me and blackness took me...
'Light. Why is there light? Don't tell me I left the light on again. Got to get out of that habit. Stupid sister, I blame her. Roll over bury head in ...no under pillow, problem solved. ...Wait the sofa doesn't have a pillow. Get up, look around because this is not a sofa.'
'Definitely not a sofa. It's a bed. A very nice bed. A bed I haven't ever seen in person. A bed I don't remember going to sleep in. In a room I don't recognize. Nice though. Differrent from what I'm used to but nice all the same.'
'Recap, not on a sofa, not my house either, what the hell?'
'Wake up. Get up, move.' I got my legs over the side of the bed, and tripped from a sitting position as soon as I tried to take my first step. 'My head hurts, no that's wrong, my face hurts, specifically my nose. Nice going dumbfuck. Tripping while sitting down that takes real talent.'
'Well suicide will really fuck a guy up, ugh. ...Wait I haven't commited suicide. Yes I did, sleeping pills, last night. No months ago, but they didn't work though.' Pushed myself up from the floor into kneeling position. 'What the hell is going on with my memories?'
The door slams open with a creak. Never heard that before, a door slamming open and making a creak, weird.
"Good morning dear. We're going to have so much fun." the voice a young girl said from behind me.
---
I turned around and what I see makes my heart catch in my throat.
'Ashley.'
Nostalgia, hurt, and surprise seem to want to also escape out through my throat, but my heart being there makes me gag.
"I...what?" 'Smooth. Real smooth.' I took a closer look, and it's easy to see it's not Ashley, but she looks close enough that it's easy to make that mistake. Except that was years ago, and I haven't seen her since, and this girl is short.
She stands there with with her hands on her, nonexistant, hips and smiles down at me.
"I said good mornin' and we're gonna have so much fun. The dear part is because you're my fiancee. Questions?"
"A myriad, but let me stand up first," I hold up my finger in that 'hold on a sec pose'.
"Actually there's a whole lot buts," I stood up slowly with my right hand pushing me up, when I noticed it, I wasn't much taller than her,"and I'm short, and brown, well I've always been brown but, this."
"Is there a mirror nearyby?" I asked.
"I'll have Chachamaru get one," the girl said.
"Chacha...maru? Who... is that?" I asked because suddenly a strange day, had just gotten so much closer to terrifying that it was funny. Yes I meant funny not not funny.
"My servant," she answered.
"Pregunta numero tres, what's your name?" I asked trying to not freak out.
"Evangeline A. K. McDowell," Eva answered.
"Well your last name would make mine sound better at least," I mumbled because this had gotten freaky real fast.
"What do the A and K stand for?" I asked more looking for a safe question than because I didn't know.
"Athanasia Katherine," she answered, "Now enough stupid questions we've got places to be."
"Clothes shopping better be one of those places cause a t-shirt, and raggedy khakis do not a wardrobe make." I pointed out.
"Hmm," she hummed. 'Hmm isn't an answer!' Of course I didn't say that, I am/was/ suicidal not a masochist. Man do I need to get this memory thing figured out.
"So how much do you know about me?" I asked.
"Probably about as much as you know about me," she shot back as she headed down the stairs, I guess I'm supposed to follow. I'm starting to see a bit of the Eva from the manga, that's good cause I know her pretty well, and bad cause she's not so nice.
"Vampire, powerful magi, really scary and, blah," I answered.
"You're not acting like it," she points out snarkily. Is it snark or am I mislabeling it? Whatever I'll just use a computer to look it up later till then snark equals being a smartass.
"Magic didn't exist in my world, and if it really did well I never saw it," I point out as we reach the bottom of the stairs.
"So you're from another world?" she asks as she leads me into the kitchen.
"Dunno, maybe," 'Definately,' "Depends how you define world. To quote Terry Pratchet The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look behind words that have changed their meanings."
"If you define world by reality, and reality as my preconceptions of what is true or not, then I could be from this same planet, and you and I would be from totally different worlds." I point out, as she rumages in the fridge for something.
"Lemonade?" she offered, that's good cause the closest thing to japanese food I've ever eaten is instant ramen.
"Thanks, but didn't you say you had a servant?" I asked. I mean a real live robot who wouldn't want to see that?
---
that's it for now, now supper calls
---
"I sent her ahead of us, to prepare some things in my resort," Eva answered taking out a pitcher of lemonade.
"So I don't mean to sound like a spoiled brat, but I hope your servant knows some western dishes, because I haven't ever tried any japanese foods, so you know." I said, because honestly natto sounds nasty.
"I'm European," Evangeline pointed out as she took out some glasses from the cabinets, and pouring some lemonade into them.
"American, well Mexican-American actually, well I was, but I have a good idea about what happened and I'm probably not anymore, but I was." Ugh, this sentence made my inner grammer-nazi physically ill.
"Here," she said slidding me a lemonade cup accross the tabletop. Was she kicking her feet in the air? Yep.
"So this resort, what's so special about it?" I asked because I frankly didn't want any silence, if there was, well if you've ever had that weird feeling between your shoulder blades that tells you something bad is going to go down you'll know what I mean when I say it was getting to the point that my back felt like ice.
"It's a magic resort inside a glass sphere, time moves differently in it, twenty four hours inside per every hour outside, and it's loaded with magic so even a beginner like you can get off a couple of spells," she answered as she sipped her lemonade.
"Like Rip Van Winkle," I pointed out.
"More like Urashima Taro, but close enough," she replied with a smile. I thought it was because she was happy to have another westerner around.
"So I'll ask you again what's so special about it?" I asked.
"Well, aren't you clever?" she said as if I was some particularly amusing dog.
"It was a hunch, but lady luck's always been like that to me." I answered.
"Huh, well whatever, we're going to the resort," she said as she stood and headed out the kitchen. This time she told me where we were going at least, so this is an improvement I guess?
---
I don't really have a choice so I follow her into the basement. The drawings don't really do the basement justice. It's extremely creepy, cute, and manic is the only word I can think to describe it. That is seriously a lot of dolls.
A soft clearing of her throat tells me I should hurry up. Looking at Eva with her fist over her mouth for the throat clearing I spot her other hand and proving my suicidal urges haven't completely left me I take her hand and tug her closer to the diorama.
'Definitely not a sofa. It's a bed. A very nice bed. A bed I haven't ever seen in person. A bed I don't remember going to sleep in. In a room I don't recognize. Nice though. Differrent from what I'm used to but nice all the same.'
'Recap, not on a sofa, not my house either, what the hell?'
'Wake up. Get up, move.' I got my legs over the side of the bed, and tripped from a sitting position as soon as I tried to take my first step. 'My head hurts, no that's wrong, my face hurts, specifically my nose. Nice going dumbfuck. Tripping while sitting down that takes real talent.'
'Well suicide will really fuck a guy up, ugh. ...Wait I haven't commited suicide. Yes I did, sleeping pills, last night. No months ago, but they didn't work though.' Pushed myself up from the floor into kneeling position. 'What the hell is going on with my memories?'
The door slams open with a creak. Never heard that before, a door slamming open and making a creak, weird.
"Good morning dear. We're going to have so much fun." the voice a young girl said from behind me.
---
I turned around and what I see makes my heart catch in my throat.
'Ashley.'
Nostalgia, hurt, and surprise seem to want to also escape out through my throat, but my heart being there makes me gag.
"I...what?" 'Smooth. Real smooth.' I took a closer look, and it's easy to see it's not Ashley, but she looks close enough that it's easy to make that mistake. Except that was years ago, and I haven't seen her since, and this girl is short.
She stands there with with her hands on her, nonexistant, hips and smiles down at me.
"I said good mornin' and we're gonna have so much fun. The dear part is because you're my fiancee. Questions?"
"A myriad, but let me stand up first," I hold up my finger in that 'hold on a sec pose'.
"Actually there's a whole lot buts," I stood up slowly with my right hand pushing me up, when I noticed it, I wasn't much taller than her,"and I'm short, and brown, well I've always been brown but, this."
"Is there a mirror nearyby?" I asked.
"I'll have Chachamaru get one," the girl said.
"Chacha...maru? Who... is that?" I asked because suddenly a strange day, had just gotten so much closer to terrifying that it was funny. Yes I meant funny not not funny.
"My servant," she answered.
"Pregunta numero tres, what's your name?" I asked trying to not freak out.
"Evangeline A. K. McDowell," Eva answered.
"Well your last name would make mine sound better at least," I mumbled because this had gotten freaky real fast.
"What do the A and K stand for?" I asked more looking for a safe question than because I didn't know.
"Athanasia Katherine," she answered, "Now enough stupid questions we've got places to be."
"Clothes shopping better be one of those places cause a t-shirt, and raggedy khakis do not a wardrobe make." I pointed out.
"Hmm," she hummed. 'Hmm isn't an answer!' Of course I didn't say that, I am/was/ suicidal not a masochist. Man do I need to get this memory thing figured out.
"So how much do you know about me?" I asked.
"Probably about as much as you know about me," she shot back as she headed down the stairs, I guess I'm supposed to follow. I'm starting to see a bit of the Eva from the manga, that's good cause I know her pretty well, and bad cause she's not so nice.
"Vampire, powerful magi, really scary and, blah," I answered.
"You're not acting like it," she points out snarkily. Is it snark or am I mislabeling it? Whatever I'll just use a computer to look it up later till then snark equals being a smartass.
"Magic didn't exist in my world, and if it really did well I never saw it," I point out as we reach the bottom of the stairs.
"So you're from another world?" she asks as she leads me into the kitchen.
"Dunno, maybe," 'Definately,' "Depends how you define world. To quote Terry Pratchet The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look behind words that have changed their meanings."
"If you define world by reality, and reality as my preconceptions of what is true or not, then I could be from this same planet, and you and I would be from totally different worlds." I point out, as she rumages in the fridge for something.
"Lemonade?" she offered, that's good cause the closest thing to japanese food I've ever eaten is instant ramen.
"Thanks, but didn't you say you had a servant?" I asked. I mean a real live robot who wouldn't want to see that?
---
that's it for now, now supper calls
---
"I sent her ahead of us, to prepare some things in my resort," Eva answered taking out a pitcher of lemonade.
"So I don't mean to sound like a spoiled brat, but I hope your servant knows some western dishes, because I haven't ever tried any japanese foods, so you know." I said, because honestly natto sounds nasty.
"I'm European," Evangeline pointed out as she took out some glasses from the cabinets, and pouring some lemonade into them.
"American, well Mexican-American actually, well I was, but I have a good idea about what happened and I'm probably not anymore, but I was." Ugh, this sentence made my inner grammer-nazi physically ill.
"Here," she said slidding me a lemonade cup accross the tabletop. Was she kicking her feet in the air? Yep.
"So this resort, what's so special about it?" I asked because I frankly didn't want any silence, if there was, well if you've ever had that weird feeling between your shoulder blades that tells you something bad is going to go down you'll know what I mean when I say it was getting to the point that my back felt like ice.
"It's a magic resort inside a glass sphere, time moves differently in it, twenty four hours inside per every hour outside, and it's loaded with magic so even a beginner like you can get off a couple of spells," she answered as she sipped her lemonade.
"Like Rip Van Winkle," I pointed out.
"More like Urashima Taro, but close enough," she replied with a smile. I thought it was because she was happy to have another westerner around.
"So I'll ask you again what's so special about it?" I asked.
"Well, aren't you clever?" she said as if I was some particularly amusing dog.
"It was a hunch, but lady luck's always been like that to me." I answered.
"Huh, well whatever, we're going to the resort," she said as she stood and headed out the kitchen. This time she told me where we were going at least, so this is an improvement I guess?
---
I don't really have a choice so I follow her into the basement. The drawings don't really do the basement justice. It's extremely creepy, cute, and manic is the only word I can think to describe it. That is seriously a lot of dolls.
A soft clearing of her throat tells me I should hurry up. Looking at Eva with her fist over her mouth for the throat clearing I spot her other hand and proving my suicidal urges haven't completely left me I take her hand and tug her closer to the diorama.
Fwom!
I don't think I can describe the transportation better than that noise. It's like the world changes not you, but you know you moved, I guess turning a corner turning you would be the best way to describe it.
"In Soviet Russia corners turn you," I said to Evangeline.
She just looked at me kind funny.
"Yakkov Smimoff, no," I prodded.
I don't think I can describe the transportation better than that noise. It's like the world changes not you, but you know you moved, I guess turning a corner turning you would be the best way to describe it.
"In Soviet Russia corners turn you," I said to Evangeline.
She just looked at me kind funny.
"Yakkov Smimoff, no," I prodded.