Akamatsuverse Chained Emotions

Kethean

Active Member
#1
Basically a random LH scribbling after reading the following amusing concept over in the ideas thread:
Here is a possible fic idea. What if Keitaro was devoid of all emotions? Think of him as a male version of Rei Ayanami from Evangelion. It'd make for some really interesting situations... like Naru calling him pervert and him responding: "Calling someone 'pervert' implies sexual arousal. You do not arouse me at all. Therefore I cannot be a pervert."

That scene alone would be worth the hassle of the fic...
That line did amuse me a bit and got me writing. Keitaro came out a bit more like T'ealc from SG-1 (misunderstanding a situation and controlled emotions), and a friend commented on it also being like Sagara Sousuke from FMP, rather than simply being quiet and not showing emotions like Ayanami, but I think I like that. Easier to write really.

Not edited in the least, and oddly enough, purely stream of thought writing, which I rarely manage to do. Usually I just sit revising and revising until I scream and close a file with little progress, so I never get anywhere.

Still working on this, think I can manage it up to Keitaro ending up as the dorm's manager (about 2-3 more scenes), but really don't have ideas past that. So it'll probably just be a oneshot thing covering up to that unless I get some more ideas.

That said...

***

Chained Emotions

"Urashima, you cannot stay here."

The man in question, Keitaro Urashima, was currently hunched over a desk, going over some textbook problems, and writing out the solution when he was interrupted from his activity. Finishing out the problem with two scribbles of his pen, Keitaro set the writing impliment down, and calmly began to turn his body along the contour of his chair, leaning an arm over the back of the chair.

Raising his head upwards and to the side so his eyes could settle on the person who spoke to him, light reflected off his glasses giving him a concentrated look. That, combined with the emotionless expression on his lips made Tamiya Toraichi gulp.

"May I ask what you're speaking about, Tamiya-sempai?"

Tamiya looked behind him for support, where his best friend Otaki was apparently hiding behind the door. No support there. Steeling himself, he turned to look back at the young man patiently waiting for an explanation.

Crossing his arms over his beefy chest, the tall college sophomore asserted his authority as the younger man's sempai. "See, we've decided to make this apartment complex reserved for just the members of the Motor Club. Currently, you are the only remaining non-member of the club living here. Therefore..."

"I understand."

Tamiya looked slack-jawed as Keitaro spoke calmly, while standing up. "You do?!?"

"Yes. From your stance, I assume you wish to threaten me into leaving. However, I must inform you that I have recently taken a re-examination for another school, and will be attending there the coming semester. I have already dropped out of the Nekomi Institute of Technology, and will be moving out from here as soon as I can make some new living arrangements," Keitaro said matter of factly. "You were indeed correct when you stated that I cannot remain here."

"I...see," Tamiya said after trying to get his brain around what the bespectacled youth spoke. "So...you will be moving."

"That is correct," was the calm reply, a nod given in acknowledgement.

"Very well. Be sure to inform me...I mean, inform Otaki, once you've cleared everything out," Tamiya finally said, eliciting a squack from the tall wiry man hiding behind the door, before turning to leave.

"Of course. Thank you for your guidance during my stay at this school," Keitaro offered with a half bow towards the quickly departing figure. As the door slammed shut, Keitaro looked blankly at the door before returning to his book problems.

'What strange fellows,' he briefly mused, as he became focused on his studies once more as soon as his hand picked up the pen anew.

He missed the congratulatory yells as Tamiya and Otaki went out to celebrate with the rest of the apartments' residents, over getting rid of the weirdo in room 3-C.

***

Keitaro stood nodding to himself as he looked around and then at the map. "This is indeed the place," he spoke aloud as he set down his bag and began to fold the map in his hands, promptly putting it away.

He had been unable to get a place to stay in the past month, and his former sempais had apparently taken it upon themselves to expidite his move by packing his things away and changing the lock of his apartment, which had been rented to a freshman named Morisato. They had informed him that they would get his things to him as soon as he found a new place, and then dropped a bag with some essentials on him, before slamming the door on him.

As such, he had made the decision to attempt and get in touch with his grandmother, and seeing if a room could be made available for him to stay, as she owned an inn quite nearby Tokyo University, the school he had recently gotten accepted into, and it would be simpler than commuting from his parents' home in Nekomi. At least, he hoped to have a place to stay for a few days if she was unable to provide him with long term housing, even if he needed to sleep in the floor.

Now, he stood at the foot of the inn's stairs, and it was much like his fuzzy memory from childhood allowed him to remember. Climbing the stairs, sweating a bit from the sun's heat, he found himself looking at a large structure in front of him, which fit with what little he could recall. "This must be Hinata Inn."

Entering, he immidiately noticed the lack of people greeting him. 'Strange. Where is the bellboy or grandmother?' he thought as he set his bag down and looked around the inn's foyer.

His grandmother should have been there to greet him, he assumed, as his parents had agreed to send a fax her detailing his situation. Realizing she must have been detained by some business, he set out towards her room, which he quickly spotted to the side, and proceeded to set his things there. Noticing his sweaty state and smell, as well as feeling somewhat tired from his trip to this area, Keitaro jotted down a note for his grandmother, and set out to find a bathroom so he could relax his muscles and clean his body.

He quickly chanced upon what was apparently an open area hot springs, and proceeded to undress, setting his clothing aside, and grabbing a towel, settled into the warm smoking waters. He proceeded some distance in until he was submerged to his chest, and leaning against a rock, closed his eyes.

A splashing noise quickly attracted his attention soon after, and he found himself staring at the unclad body of a young girl with long tresses of hair entering the hot springs, and settling in a spot next to him.

"Aaah...this hot spring is great.." she spoke as she settled in.

'How curious. I was unaware that grandmother would be the sort of person to run a co-ed hot springs in her inn,' he thought. He was well aware that many individuals around his age would have trouble being stark naked around another of the opposite gender, and while he was not one of those, it was surprising to see a girl such as this not mind. Mind she did not, it seemed, as she gave him a warm smile, as if they were close friends of some manner.

"Bathing at noon is the best! It's so relaxing!" she said pleasantly as she stretched her arms over her shoulders.

Ignoring her, he began to close his eyes once more, hopin to continue to relax, when he felt the water shift, the girl apparently moving closer towards him. As he opened his eyes, he noticed her posing for him.

"Don't you think my breasts have gotten bigger lately? Take a look!" she offered with a saucy wink.

He raised an eyebrow, wondering if she was hoping to seduce him so that they could copulate. He decided that if that was the case, he needed to remind her that they were in a public area and that such actions would likely cause harm to his grandmother's business. He should also inform her that he had never seen her breasts before, and could not say if they were truly bigger.

Before he had a chance to do so, however, she proceeded to lean into him, her soft, yet firm breasts pressing into his side, her hand on his shoulder, while she leaned her head towards him. "I still can't compare with you though..."

Confusion entered Keitaro's mind and he turned his head, so his nose was almost touching hers. A grin seemed to encompass her face, and she looked like she was about to speak, however he interrupted, and spoke to her for the first time. "I'm afraid you're mistaken. Your breasts would naturally be bigger than my own lacking set."

The girl blinked at the sound of that voice, and frowned as she took a few steps back, grasping for a pair of glasses on the side. 'Ah, she must have mistaken me for a friend of hers,' Keitaro quickly deduced, with a mental nod to himself, realizing the girl must have been rather shortsighted when making her assumption. 'She spoke of breasts. Then she was not attempting to seduce me, but rather her girlfriend. I see...'

*Sploosh!*

Her glasses dropped from her hands in shock, bringing his attention back to her. "As you can see, my chest is quite flat. I believe you mistook me for your girlfrie..."

"WAAAAAH!! HELP! SOMEONE HELP!!!" she screamed as she shut her eyes and lifted her towel to cover herself, eliciting a raised eyebrow from the young man. "PERVERT! A PERVERT! THERE'S A PERVERT!"

A blink followed this statement, the young man not comprehending her scream, so he simply took a few step backs from the obviously disturbed woman. "Calling someone 'pervert' implies sexual arousal. You do not arouse me at all. Therefore I cannot be a pervert."

Her screams paused at that, and she opened her eyes, angrily staring at Keitaro. "What do you mean I don't arouse you at all?!?" she bit out angrily.

He blinked again. "You're a rather strange woman," he said simply, as he stood up and began to walk towards the changing room, making her blush hotly. "What's that supposed to mean?" she yelled as she tried not to stare at his manhood, the source for her blush.

He simply ignored her as he stepped into the changing room, where he almost bumped into another young woman, this one with much shorter hair, heading towards the hot springs. He immediately noticed the much larger breasts of the girls, and recalling the statements of the first girl, commented calmly, "Your lover seems to be in a bit of a mood. Perhaps you should go cater to her needs and help release her obvious tension." before stepping around her, and picking up his clothes.

A sputter and indignant yell of, "L-L-L-LOVER?!?" was heard behind him from the springs, while the girl he just passed had apparently frozen in spot, her brain having temporarily shut down. It quickly rebooted though, as she muttered, "...I think I need a drink."

Keitaro paid the girl no mind, as he proceed to dress himself, finishing putting on his socks as the short haired girl turned to him. "Hello there, I don't believe I've seen you here before. Can I...can I ask what's this about my lover?"

Keitaro was about to reply when the first girl burst into the room, holding her towel protectively to herself. "Mitsune! Don't let that lying pervert get away!"

To that accusation, Keitaro once more defended himself, more from misunderstanding than indignation. "I already stated I was not aroused by you and I was not lying when I said so. If anyone is the pervert, is it not you for trying to seduce me thinking I was your short haired friend?"

"WHAT?!?" the girl roared angrily. "THAT'S A LIE!!!"

The other girl got an amused look in her eye, apparently thinking she had caught on to what he was doing or something, perhaps thinking he was teasing her friend. Or maybe she truly was interested in the information. He didn't really think much of it as that Mitsune girl slinked over to her friend, and purred, while rubbing against her, "Is that true, Naru-chaaaaan?" she asked as her finger trailed the side of the girl's face.

The girl, Naru, gasped and stared at her friend as Keitaro raised an eyebrow. "I'll leave the two of you to your deviant games," he said finally, before turning around, almost slamming into another girl, this time a young Indian girl entering the room with laundry in her hands, though thankfully managing to step to the side without causing an accident.

"Excuse me," he said as he stepped around her and walked out, a cry of "MITSUNE! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?" ringing out behind her, along with some amused laughter, and a childish question of, "Oooh, are you guys playing? Can I join in? You look like you're having fun!"

Keitaro wondered what that girl's problem was, as he headed towards his grandmother's office, to check if she'd returned by now, despite his painfully short bath. "What's with all the noise?" a soft quiet voice asked from ahead of him, and he looked up, spotting a young girl, probably about the same age as the indian girl, maybe thirteen or so if he had to venture a guess for their ages. He wondered where all these girls were popping out of, as he had not seen them when he'd been walking around the inn looking for the baths. Still, he had been taught to be polite, and so he gave a small bow, to the young girl. "Hello, I'm Urashima Keitaro."

"Oh! Uhm, hello?" she exclaimed in obvious surprise, but remembering her own manners also introduced herself. "I'm, ah, Maehara Shinobu. Pleased to meet you."

Noticing the apron the young girl is wearing, as well as the ladle in her hand, he realizes she must be one of the employees. "I am the grandson of the owner of this facility. Would you happen to know where Grandmother Hina i..."

His question is left unfinished as a sword is thrust in front of his eyes, a woman in a kendo outfit and narrowed eyes stepping between himself and Shinobu, shifting her hold on the blade so the edge of the sword placed near his throat. "What is a male doing here? I heard someone cry out about a pervert?"

"Motoko-san!" the young girl exclaimed, apparently horrified at the accusation at someone so polite. "This is Granny Hina's grandson!"

Keitaro nods calmly, somehow not intimidated by the glinting steel being wielded by the girl, though he had been surprised by its appearance. "I do believe I just said that. As for the pervert, I believe those two girls...Mitsune and Naru, I believe, were playing deviant games with each other the hot springs room last I saw, with the indian girl asking if she could join in because 'it looked like fun'. Now, if you don't mind, please remove that sword from my throat."

The girl's eyes narrowed further, but she finally nodded tersely, having spent that time watching the male for signs of lying. He did not seem to be lying, and he had the guts to face her even when she held the advantage. "Very well," she states, removing the sword from its location, and placing it back in its sheath. Turning to look at Shinobu, she continues on. "Shinobu, you may assist Granny's relative...uhm..." she starts to say, before looking back at Keitaro.

"Keitaro Urashima," he offers again.

"You may assist Urashima-san while I head to the hot springs to deal with this pervert situation. If Naru-san and Mitsune-san are corrupting Koalla, I will be most...put out," she finishes, her eyes narrowing again, as she barrels roughly past Keitaro who merely raises an eyebrow again. Almost like Dumbledore with his blasted eye twinkles...*cough*...

"Uhm, sorry about Motoko-san, Urashima-san. She's very protective of the rest of us. She's really very nice," Shinobu said, attempting to apologize for the other girl's behavior.

"Understood," he said, mentally putting away her statement as a revisement on his prior experience with her. That done, he continues. "Now, about grandmother?"

"Oh, well, you see...Granny left about a year ago to go on a world's tour or something. Haruka-san could explain it better," the young girl tries to explain.

Keitaro nods at that. "I see. Who takes care of the inn then? Aunt Haruka?"

"Inn? I... -think- this used to be an inn, but if so, it's now a female dormitory. It has been since before I came here, Urashima-san."

Keitaro raised that damnable eyebrow again at that. "I see," he replies, before moving and starting to head back towards the foyer.

"Urashima-san? Are you leaving?" the girl asks as she follows in short steps besides him.

"I believe I will try to find Aunt Haruka. I was not aware of the changes and had hoped to stay here, but that is likely not going to be a possibility anymo..."

"HE SAID WHAT?!? I'LL KILL HIM!!!" a cry of anguish and rage came from the hot springs room.

Pausing, Keitaro looked at the startled girl to his left. "As I was saying. I do not believe my staying here is likely to be a possibility anymore."

***
 

Israfel

Well-Known Member
#2
Ahaha, this is hilarious, I love this, you really should continue this, I just love the idea of Keitaro acting like that, not to mention he's already in Todai which is a plus, and just the way all the girls will react to him. Reminds me slightly of 'Keitaro The Hater Of Women' but only because Keitaro's completely different and his personality sets him in a position of power above the other girls completely shutting down any arguments they may have. Also I think Motoko could grow to like him somewhat, what with his complete lack of anything resembling a libido, and the kind of 'samurai of old' manner in which he acts, with the emotionless and controlled-ness that he exibits. Definitely need to continue this, even if you can't at least give it to someone else to finish because I'd really like to see more. Good luck to you! :D :lol:
 

BlackSun

Well-Known Member
#3
Not edited in the least, and oddly enough, purely stream of thought writing, which I rarely manage to do. Usually I just sit revising and revising until I scream and close a file with little progress, so I never get anywhere.
Does it need to be edited? It looks good enough as it is.
 

Kethean

Active Member
#4
Ahaha, this is hilarious, I love this, you really should continue this, I just love the idea of Keitaro acting like that, not to mention he's already in Todai which is a plus, and just the way all the girls will react to him. Reminds me slightly of 'Keitaro The Hater Of Women' but only because Keitaro's completely different and his personality sets him in a position of power above the other girls completely shutting down any arguments they may have. Also I think Motoko could grow to like him somewhat, what with his complete lack of anything resembling a libido, and the kind of 'samurai of old' manner in which he acts, with the emotionless and controlled-ness that he exibits. Definitely need to continue this, even if you can't at least give it to someone else to finish because I'd really like to see more. Good luck to you!
Well, this Keitaro's not so much a hater, as just being socially inept in a different way than canon. At least, that was my goal. I have read Hater of Women, and was trying not to fall into that by leaving his reactions simple. Of course, this kind of ended with the raised eyebrow thing, which made me think of dumbledore's twinkles (go figure).

He's a bit more focused, so yeah, I do sorta picture Motoko somewhat liking him, though Kitsune as well, who probably wouldn't get that he's not teasing but is honestly misunderstanding Naru, and is amused by him. Shinobu and Koalla would be about the same, and Naru would probably be a bit more antagonistic than normal because she thinks he's out to ruin her reputation.

The problem I have though, is that outside of going to the point where he's set up as the dorm manager, I don't really have a goal as to where to go with this, outside of Keitaro continually messing with Naru purely by misunderstanding, where essentially, Naru is the one being eyed weirdly instead of Keitaro. And while a good goal, I don't want to just essentially follow the manga while editing changes based on Keitaro's behavior.
Does it need to be edited? It looks good enough as it is.
Some minor grammar stuff, mostly, and how lines flow. Changes between present and past tense. That sort of thing.

Example:
As for the pervert, I believe those two girls...Mitsune and Naru, I believe, were playing deviant games with each other the hot springs room last I saw, with the indian girl asking if she could join in because 'it looked like fun'.

I use the word "believe" twice unnecessarily. I probably should cut out the "I believe" part in the beginning.
 

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#5
Kethean said:
Well, this Keitaro's not so much a hater, as just being socially inept in a different way than canon. At least, that was my goal. I have read Hater of Women, and was trying not to fall into that by leaving his reactions simple. Of course, this kind of ended with the raised eyebrow thing, which made me think of dumbledore's twinkles (go figure).

He's a bit more focused, so yeah, I do sorta picture Motoko somewhat liking him, though Kitsune as well, who probably wouldn't get that he's not teasing but is honestly misunderstanding Naru, and is amused by him. Shinobu and Koalla would be about the same, and Naru would probably be a bit more antagonistic than normal because she thinks he's out to ruin her reputation.

The problem I have though, is that outside of going to the point where he's set up as the dorm manager, I don't really have a goal as to where to go with this, outside of Keitaro continually messing with Naru purely by misunderstanding, where essentially, Naru is the one being eyed weirdly instead of Keitaro. And while a good goal, I don't want to just essentially follow the manga while editing changes based on Keitaro's behavior.
Why bother following the manga? Let your creativity run rampant. Completely mess with the storyline.

All you have to do, is take Keitaro, give him a Vulcan's outlook on life and have him act accordingly. Have him be driven by logic. It's still possible that he'll show interest in one of the girls. In fact, I'd expect him to strike it fast with Kaolla, since he'd be much more focused and thus catch on fast to what he's doing.

Also, he might help Kitsune win a couple horse races by pointing out things like the favorite horse not looking healthy, one of the underdogs looking energetic, statistics, etc.

Since this Keitaro is sort of a super nerd without the bad parts, I doubt he'd be interested in Kendo, but I wouldn't be surprised if he knew meditation and shiatsu for relaxation purposes.

...that's just a few ideas to start up. Oh, and Haruka should be aware of his...peculiar attitude.

I say continue it, and if you hit a dry spell, just ask us here for extra ideas to jumpstart your creativity again. I'll certainly read and support this fic if you publish it.

Well?
 

tomdj1701

Well-Known Member
#6
That was a good read. I do hope you continue this. B)
 

Lord Raa

Exporter of Juice Tins
#7
I like it, and I'd like to read more
 

Wonderbee31

Well-Known Member
#8
I think this is great and has a lot of stuff going for it, in particular Keitaro's attitude, which is Mr. Spock and Data at their finest. I enjoyed the way that he followed up and was actually able to talk Motoko down from her hater statutus, as well as someone that could stand up to those two jerks Tamiya and Otaki.

You could even continue the OMG! cross if you wanted, maybe Sayoko could have been intrigued by Keitaro's non-chalant (to her) attitude, and is pursuing him to stroke her ego, and she falls for him. You might also think of whether this emotionlessness is due to a past physical or mental trauma, or maybe he was born that way, and to see what the girls might do to provoke a reaction.
 

Lord Raa

Exporter of Juice Tins
#9
Wonderbee31 said:
You might also think of whether this emotionlessness is due to a past physical or mental trauma, or maybe he was born that way, and to see what the girls might do to provoke a reaction.
That's a top idea.


In fact, I may use that as part of my Keiichi/Skuld/Urd AU fic that I'm working on RIGHT NOW :p

In case any of you are wondering, I've got the wish part of the fic written and that's about it. I still need to come up with how Keiichi is going to meet up with Urd and Skuld and in what order...
 

Wonderbee31

Well-Known Member
#10
Oh, now that'd definitely be something that I'd look forward to seeing. Can't wait!
 

Israfel

Well-Known Member
#11
I'd say there's probably two ways I can think of going about it he could meet Urd first and then she would pull Skuld in or he could meet Skuld first and then, seeing their relationship, Urd could decide to join in to spice it up with a bit of 'hands on' help.
 
#13
He better if he knows what's good for him. Keitaro the Vulcan/Jaffa? WRITE MORE, COMRADE STALIN DEMANDS IT.
 

Havenoname

Well-Known Member
#14
Yeah!

This looks like a good start and you should follow the advices the other members are giving you.

It would be a shame if this fic went to waste.
 

Innortal

Well-Known Member
#15
I must say this is one of the most unique takes on Keitaro I have ever seen. I do hope you continue this story quickly.
 

Moshulel

Well-Known Member
#16
I'm subscribing to the list of people demanding that you continue this fic, i like your take on Keitaro.

Hulk likes, Hulk waits update, Hulk smashes!!!
 

hawker_748

Well-Known Member
#17
Yeah, where the hell's the next part? :huh:

We gonna see more, or do I have to threaten to hold off on Ships 7 to provoke you? <_<
 

SimmyC

Well-Known Member
#18
Delay... Ships? :blink: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Kathean, get the next part out quickly! Not only is this a great start, but... must... have... Ships! :flameon:

:p

Besides, maybe I should delay "Fallen Blade" too if the next part isn't out yet. :unsure:

Note, not much of a threat since it will be a while before I work on Chapter 2 anyways. :p
 

Moshulel

Well-Known Member
#19
HULK SMASHES!!!
HULK TURNS CRAZY!!!

Updateeeeeesssssss!!!

Recently i started reading Bastard and you don't want me casting a venom do you?
 

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#20
Argh, Kethean hasn't signed in since June 1. >_<

Kethean, if you don't want to continue this, just hand it over to me. It's too good an idea to let go to waste. Especially since I spawned it. :snigger:

My updates may be slow, but I eventually get around to it... :sisi: :rofl:
 

Innortal

Well-Known Member
#21
As for further development, you have the usual gags to add; such as Naru trying to both prove she is not a pervert and that Keitaro is one, Kitsune trying to get an emotional reaction from him, Su wanting to ... play, as well as the fact that I doubt he would simply go along with any plans to work him to death by creating problems for him to fix.
 

Mighty Bob

Well-Known Member
#22
Might be a bit crowded, but I'm jumping on the bandwagon here, you need to keep writing this! Especially if you can keep Keitaro like that insteada 'normalizing' him out after a few chapters; seems to be a problem lots of fics have when changing Keitaro's personality (author can't keep it up).

While I kinda like the idea of keeping the OMG elements (though from what I gather Keitaro leaves just as Keiichi gets started at Nekomi Tech) I'm not certain how it would add to the story. Especially since Keitaro's transfered to Tokyo University.

Anyways, we need more!
 

EagleCeres

Well-Known Member
#23
*ahem* MOAR!!!!

oh my god! i pictured Kei's social ineptitude EXACTLY like Sousuke Sagara,
scene by scene, line by line... and i amlost choaked on my soda :rofl:

as it is the people around my cubicle are wondering why im red faced and cant seem to stop smiling like a chesire cat :hail:

please keep this up!!! :yay:
 

007

Well-Known Member
#24
Please keep adding on to this story you have going, it appears it will get quite humorous
 

TheEcchiSessha

Well-Known Member
#25
This story is a keeper for sure. It's always good to see a fic like this. *Imagines all the one liners Keitaro will pull* :snigger: Keep up the good work.
 
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