Summary: AU, What would Harry's life be like if James Potter was away on a mission when Voldemort came knocking on his door when he was a baby? What if Harry had a sister? The girl who lived, according to Dumbledore. Unfortunately people make mistakes. Genius!Harry
Prologue
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was a time of war.
War not against mere factions, but against good and evil, against light and darkness, against normal innocent people... That line was often blurred.
James Potter, head of the auror department, was dressed in full battle gear. He, along with his four man team, were dressed to kill. Aurors were head of the police force for the magical people and sometimes they had to make tough choices. They had to do tough things. They had to kill.
They had to assassinate.
"Are you all ready?" James faced the group, unblinking, as he asked them. This was the time to back out. The one chance the team had. Nobody took it.
James nodded, "I thought so. Shall we then?" They apparrated out of the headquarters with quiet pops in the busy street of Knockturne Alley.
"Shall we run through the plan one more time, sir?" The new guy, a cautious teen who just graduated from the auror academy, looked hesitant.
James understood. He nodded, and stayed silent along with the rest of the team as the newbie went through it one more time.
"So we barge in the wand maker's shop, drop explosives in the middle of the floor, and apparate out?"
"Basically." James said.
The newbie sighed, blinking in the bright afternoon sunlight. "Very well, sir. But it seems-"
"For god's sake now is not the time to back out!" James yelled, "You had the chance ten minutes ago. Now do the job or else I'll fire your ass."
The newbie nodded frantically. The team moved on.
The wand maker's shop they were targeting had been allegedly selling wands to known death eaters, all wanted for arrest. It was based on good information, on private sources of Rufus Scrimgoer himself.
The wand maker also had a wife and three kids.
In war one had to be ruthless, had to oppress all their feelings and concentrate on the task at hand.
The auror team, dressed in dark casual robes, entered the shop. It was dim lit, and filled with dirty shelves. The wands had been squashed without care in big boxes. It was a scene of unorganized chaos.
One of them stood outside as a guard. Quickly working as a team, they stunned all the customers inside and floated them away, while brutally putting down the wand maker with a quick reducto to the chest. From under his robes, James pulled out a metal box, pressed the red button, and carefully set it down to the floor. The team walked out without a word, and apparrated out as the shop exploded with a flash. There wasn't a clue as to who committed this crime, but everyone knew it was the order. Only the order did things like this. The aurors weren't authorized to do so.
James Potter congratulated his team on a job well done, not knowing the sight that would greet him when he got back home.
Voldemort always paid back in spades.
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The Potters lived in a five bedroom town house on GodricÆs Hollow, a place inhabited mostly by muggles. The house was also placed under the fidelous charm, it's secret keeper being Peter Pettigrew. One of James' most trusted friends.
The one problem with close friends is that they have a nasty habit of stabbing you in the back. Peter had this nasty habit.
Peter did not feel a hint of sorrow as he led the dark lord Voldemort to the Potter's house.
"Are you sure this is the right way? If you are wasting my time you will definitely regret it."
"Yes of course," Peter simpered, "This is the right way. I am sure of it."
"Good." The dark lord said nothing else. He didn't need to, he already made a threatening impression with his black robes, red eyes, creepy white skin, and snakish tongue.
The house was large, but not too large. It was painted white, and looked just like the other houses on this drive. Not too remarkable, not bad either. Peter pointed a finger to the house, "There it is, my lord."
"Wonderful, Peter. You did good. Now get lost!" The dark lord growled, preferring to do this alone. He loved to test himself all the time, and after months of boring planning, he was itching for a fight.
Peter squeaked and apparrated out with an amateur pop. VoldemortÆs eye twitched at his follower's inept skill.
'He made a good spy... and will continue to have a use for me.' He mused, as he entered the house, opening the door without knocking. Everything was messy inside, toys lay on the floor, along with socks, spoons, and dirty food. He sneered in disgust. He entered the kitchen, which was a mess. The fridge was stained with drips of mustard, the dining table covered in newspapers, and the floor was too filthy to describe. But no adults were here. He heard something in the living room. A kind of scream.
The sight that greeted him in the living room made his blood boil. Two twin babies in their carriage, crying and waving their arms. They had made a mess it seemed. 'Where is Lily and James...?' Voldemort wondered, casting his red eyes around.
"Come out, Lily... Wherever you are." He muttered softly. His smooth baritone carried though. Smirking, he heard a shuffling from the stairs. He turned around, looking vindictive at Lily's frozen face.
Lily had green eyes that shined brightly with a brilliance of their own, red hair that was the envy of her students (mostly girls) in Hogwarts, but the most striking thing was what she was wearing. An apron. A filthy muggle apron.
"Leave-" She stammered, but collected herself shortly. "Leave my babies alone!" She screamed, taking her wand out, a curse on her lips.
Voldemort reacted instantly, apparrating to her side and casting a slashing curse at her leg. She stumbled and fell, but she was not the legendary charms mistress for nothing.
She turned, casting a blue shield as she backed away, falling to a defensive position in front of her children.
Voldemort scowled briefly. He wanted to save his killing curses for James, but oh well. With a shrug, he cast an avada kedavra. A green light, glowing sickly, hit the blue shield, making it dissipate. The green light, weakened, faded away to nothingness.
Voldemort raised an eyebrow. The shield was pretty powerful to dissipate a killing curse. Interesting, it seemed Lily had been busy during childbirth.
"This won't save you," Voldemort said. "Hand your children over to me."
"No. No I will never do that!" She cried, defiant. To Voldemort's trained eye, it was easy to see that she was scared and about to break.
"Do you really think you can win against me?" Voldemort smirked. "I am twice your age, and am the most powerful wizard in the world." Now it was time for the real psychological warfare tricks to begin.
"If you hand over your children, I will spare you."
"What? No!" Lily was scared, and indignant at the same time. "I am not some c-coward." She raised her wand and shot off a few curses at Voldemort. The dark lord didn't even flinch. He raised his hand, and the spells dissipated in mid-air.
For Lily this was the end. It was time to use... that.
"Please, take me. Kill me but don't-" She sobbed. "Don't kill my children, please!"
"If that's how you want it to be," Voldemort shrugged. "Goodbye."
"Avada Kedavra!" He hissed, smiling widely as the woman collapsed. "Now to take care of you nuisances."
The twins started crying, and screeching. It was annoying.
He looked at the right baby. "You first. Avada Kedavra." He smirked as the green light hit the child's forehead.
Then something strange happened. The green light... rebounded. It bounced back and hit Voldemort straight in the chest. He flew back as he was disinter grated in midair. His body turned to ash. But his spirit was not yet destroyed. It howled as it tore itself from Voldemort's body. Instead of dissipating or turning into a ghost like creature, it turned black and formed the shape of a snake.
The black smoke-like snake screeched in agony, and floated away from the Potter house with a bang.
The babies on the other hand remained relatively unharmed. The one on the right had a curse scar shaped like a lightning bolt on it's forehead. It slowly disappeared. A brick fell on the baby on the left however, causing a long gash to appear on her forehead.
It glowed as magical backlash seeped into the gash. The gash closed forming a red scar that reeked of leftover dark magic. The baby on the right, a boy, looked unharmed, yet he was the one most damaged.
Chapter One - Home
Home is a place you stay, isn't it? Well, I guess I have many homes then. Thousands at least. You see, I move around a lot. That is mainly because of my father, hotshot auror and head of every investigation concerning dark lordsà Around the world. But really I don't mind that much. It's kind of fun, to see new places, meet new people. Muggles mainly, which is what I like.
Wizards, and witches... They don't really pay attention to me. They just fawn on my twin sister, Emmy. Why you ask? No it isn't because she is really cute or something. It's simply because... She is the Girl-Who-Lived. Scarface... Not really something to fawn about in my opinion.
We are both eleven years old, and soon we will start Hogwarts. Tomorrow, actually. Hogwarts... It will be a terror. I am not really one to be jealous, but it is kind of hard when even my father won't pay me the slightest attention. He's barely around, but when he is it's always Emmy this and Emmy that.
I don't mind. I like being alone actually, playing with my mother's wand and leafing through her charms books.
No I'm not a mama's boy. She's dead. She died in the attack where Voldemort was destroyed. We lived. It's all really famous now, the brave story of Emmy Potter, and how she defeated the big bad dark wizard. I hate it! How come I don't get any recognition? It's not fair!
Ok maybe I am a bit jealous, but anyone would be the same if they were in my position. Only difference is I work hard. I work hard and I will continue to work hard until I get the recognition I deserve. Already I have mastered my mother's level 1,2, and 3, charms books. I am probably as good as a third year student. Maybe even better.
Only at charms though.
But I'll get better in everything I do. Why? Because I have ambition, I have cunning, I am brave, and hard working. Not for the first time, I wonder what house I am going to go to. I hope it's Slytherin. That will really piss my family off. Especially Sirius who goes on and on about that crap: How Slytherin is evil, and Gryffindor is good. Did he forget who really betrayed our parents?
I don't like him. I don't really like anyone, not even Remus who is always kind to me. I am a bit of a loner I guess, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Everyone knows after all that loners make awesome dark lords.
Dark Lord Potter... Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
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Breakfast was quiet. The day before we go to Hogwarts. The day we go shopping. Whoopee. I wonder if father will buy me anything good. A broomstick maybe. Quidditch is fun to play, I have only played it once though. My sister on the other hand goes with Sirius to his house all the time. He has a Quidditch pitch you know so my sister will probably make the team. In her first year maybe. Who knows. Not me certainly.
I am pessimistic. But its not my fault! How can I not be? I don't have any skills ingrained into me, like dueling. I suck at dueling. I'm horrible at it. I can't move quickly enough and always end up losing when I spar against my sister. I also suck at flying. I tried it once when I was actually invited to Sirius's house. I snuck into the broom shed in the middle of the night, went flying, and hit a pole...
It was dark, I couldn't see. Do you think Sirius cared though? Since that incident I have never been invited to his house. It's always Emmy this and Emmy that. Always like it. You see why I'm so pessimistic? You don't? Okay then. Just take my word for it, the only thing I'm good at is charms. I can out charm Flitwick even. Okay maybe not, but still... I like him, he always pays attention to me and teaches me new spells when he comes over for... order business.
Order... Order of the Phoenix. My dad is in it, that's why he never comes home. Personally I think he just hangs out in strip clubs, but the last time I suggested that in the middle of dinner with the minister of magic... Well, I have never been invited to dinners again.
Well it's not my fault. My sister tells me I was dropped on the head when I was a baby. Repeatedly. I believe her, it's the only explanation I can think of.
We are twins, yet my sister is perfect in every way. I am a regular klutz. But I'll show them. I'll show them all! I will become the next dark lord, that is my secret ambition. That is how I'll prove my worth.
Where Voldemort failed, I will succeed.
I will kill my sister.
A bit dramatic donÆt you think? Well maybe not kill, IÆll settle for being annoying too.
But breakfast was anything but dramatic. It was pretty boring actually, I went down at ten in the morning to the kitchen, made myself something to eat, and saw Emmy practicing her spells in the backyard. SheÆs like that, a perfectionist. I want to be like that, but itÆs too much work. Being a dark lord is supposed to be fun, so naturally we can assume that to actually become a dark lord is fun too right? ThatÆs my policy, just have fun.
I take a sausage with me, and enter the backyard. The air smells fresh and green. How can you smell green? No it smells like plants and trees, that green smell. Do you know what I am talking about. Greeeeeeeenà.. Nice sound. I like green. ItÆs my favourite color. Just another reason I want to be in Slytherin.
LetÆs see I have the smirk. Check. I have the green sweater and jeans, not check. Slytherins hate muggles. I donÆt. I love them, they are pretty interesting because if I am ever stuck in a desert with no wand, IÆll do what the muggles do. Die probably.
ôWhat are you doing here?ö Emmy snapped, her green eyes blazing. Well not really blazing, she had a scowl on her face and her eyes were narrowed. It just seemed blazing.
My eyes twinkled. No really they did. Dumbledore style. I found the trick in a charms book. I just did it because I knew how much it annoyed her.
ôStill practicing?ö I drawled, ôYou will never beat me you know.ö Her face reddened, she was furious. Perfect. All the signs of rage, fists clenched, eyes squinted, lips crinkled up, now was my chance!
ôYou think you are so good, just because you are a fucking charms genius-ô She cut herself off, breathing hard. So thatÆs what she was practicing. Charms.
ôAh so you acknowledge that charms is much superior to your pathetic defence against the dark arts.ö
ôGo to hell!ö She snapped. ôI will become better than you in this. There must be some trick to this.ö
Ah, she was always like this. Always had this drive to be perfect. I sneered in disdain. Pathetic. Everyone knows that the lazier you are, the more successful you become. ôSo want to duel?ö
Remember when I said she always beat me in duels? Not really, I give a good fight when I feel like it. Most of the time I just give up when I start to sweat. Sure I work hard, but only when I learn new spells.
ôBring it on.ö She yelled, brandishing her wand like a sword. ôI will crush youàö Her nostrils were flaring! It took all my will to stop from laughing. Typical Gryffindor. Sirius was the same way around that slimy bat Snape. IÆve been to Hogwarts before, mostly in the summer time. Order meetings and all.
Why do they have order meetings when the dark lord is dead? Oh yeah the new dark lord in china. BritainÆs helping or something, and they have assigned the order to the task. Pssh.
A dark yellow curse raced by me. Sinister. I have to pay attention. Carelessly, (its an act, my heartÆs pounding inside) I waved my wand and a blue shield appeared in front of me, circling me and creating a sphere of defence. I smirked, seeing her enraged look. She tries every spell she can, but nothing well get past it short of a killing curse.
It was my motherÆs spell, it was in her notes. I took a look through it before Dumbledore stole it. I donÆt like Dumbledore. His eyes twinkle too, but in a way that is just too piercing. It makes me uncomfortable, so I always avoid eye contact with him.
I look bored. Yawn. It was such a good yawn, I practiced in front of the mirror. Careless, lazy, the I-am-better-than-you yawn. I sit down, take a book from my back pocket, and read.
She is yelling something, but I canÆt hear. The sound is muffled in here, so I can just read my book in peace all day long. Or at least until father comes. He gets really angry when he sees it. Reminds him of Lily. I donÆt like him either. I realized something right now. I donÆt like anybody. Well thatÆs not true, I like my mother but sheÆs dead. And I likeà myself. That has to count for something.
Too troublesome to figure out. I go back to my book, a muggle erotica. A giggle escapes me, and a blush. This is soà dirty.
It also makes my sister furious when she sees it. Something about feminism. She canÆt do anything about it though. I am not a charms genius for nothing. Of course she tells on me, but father doesnÆt do anything about it either. He just sighs tiredly, and sleeps. Then he is up early in the morning, before me certainly, and runs to his work. Fun.
I bet a dark lord isnÆt like this. He just laughs, the classic mwahahahhaha, kills stuff, laughs some more, and sleeps. I think. That sounds fun. Lazy, powerful, fun. Like a python. I like pythons, I wish I could talk to them. That would be so cool.
Emmy goes back inside the house, tearing her hair in frustration. So emotional. DoesnÆt she realize she is already better than me? She has everything. Skills, approval, Quidditch, money. I have no doubt whoÆs going to inherit the Potter family fortune. Fuck! So much money. I saw her trust fund. Then I saw mine. The WeasleysÆ would have laughed at me if they saw it.
Just another reason I would rather eat a toad than be in the same Hogwarts House as her.
I read. Remus should be here soon to take us shopping. Maybe he brought his werewolf girlfriend too. I drool.
Chapter Two û Meet Remus and his Nymphie Girlfriend
There are two things I love in this world, beef jerky, and charms. My family approved of neither.
Stupid vegetarians... What do they know. Luckily, Remus also loved beef jerky. That's the only reason I like him really, he always brings me some. He works as a manager for a beef jerky company. I drool at the thought of another package of the spicy dried meat. I can lick it slowly, chew it, enjoy the taste and the furious looks of my sister. Yum.
What more could you want? Approval? Attention? Money? The drive to be perfect? Yeah, I wanted that, hell I still do. Somewhere along the way I lost the drive to be perfect because nobody gave me any recognition. But I don't mind. Okay that's a lie. I do mind. I want money! I want everyone to fawn over me! I want people to compliment me!
Nobody ever does. Except Remus, who is too nice not to compliment but it just doesn't mean much when it comes out of the werewolf. He compliments everything about everyone. A total suck up. I hate that in people. We are all equals, we should stand tall, never bowing to anyone no matter what. Pssh. Suck ups. I guess I hate it when everyone sucks up to Emmy, hoping to share in her spotlight.
Oh didn't you know? She practically has a monopoly on the press, Emmy this, Emmy that. A real celebrity. Yup I hate suck ups. Remus is a suck up.
Then again, he has beef jerky... so I guess its okay. In fact it's a good thing. I love it! Beef jerky, beautiful meat... I have dreams of living in a house made of beef jerky, and maybe having a giant pot of it where I can bathe daily...
I think I am addicted. Those bastards probably put something in there to poison me and keep me from achieving my full potential! Yeah thatÆs it. ThatÆs why IÆm not perfect, and I donÆt get the same amount of fame that Emmy does.
Then again, seeing Remus's innocent face when he walked into the yard made it seem a bit ridiculous. What was even more ridiculous was the hot girl he scored. She was a werewolf just like him, her name was Linda, and she was aggressive. That's an understatement actually.
She had a massive chest (Know what I mean?), wide hips, luscious lips... Another reason for me to drool as I imagined her in the muggle erotica I was reading. I quickly shook my head of these thoughts, a blush coming to my cheeks when Linda winked at me. Dissipating the shield, I got up and greeted Remus cheerfully.
"Hey Remus! Beef Jerky?" Four words. Four lovely words. I think they should make it into a spell, a happy spell. Certainly works for me.
Remus gave a short chuckle, "Yeah, I brought a new flavor today Harry. You must really love these things, huh?"
"Not as much as you do." Linda retorted, her hand holding his shoulders and pulling him closer towards her. "That company is turning you into a beast, Remus."
Remus gave an embarrassed laugh, before getting a happy gleam in his eye. "Hey Harry, guess what?"
"What?"
"Linda and I are getting married!"
Goddamit.
I don't want to hurt Remus, there goes my plan to hit it on Linda. Ah well, they come and go.
I look to what the two are doing, Linda is nibbling on Remus's ear. Nibbling! I want a werewolf girlfriend too! Remus pushes her away a bit (Why? Is he gay?), and turns to me. "Where is Emmy?" Nope, he just has pedophilic tendencies I suppose.
I scowl. They notice. They always do, yet they still fawn on her. They think I'm a jealous brat, don't they? They think I want to steal her money! They think I want to steal her fame! They think I want to be just like her!
Wait what? Where did that come from? I don't want to be like her. No way. I am Harry Potter, charms genius extraordinaire, the laziest and coolest person you will ever meet.
Seriously I am lazy. It's my best strength. I find short cuts so I don't have to work so hard. It's a trick I picked up from... I don't know where really. I think I just invented some tricks to save time and energy. I should patent them.
"Hey do I have to come with you guys to Diagon Alley?" I asked, as I ripped open the box of beef jerky. "I don't need to go, really. Why don't you all just get the same things you're getting for Emmy?" I don't have much money in my trust fund. I just know they are getting a nimbus for her. I want one too!
Remus shook his head. "This will be a good learning experience for you, Harry. You'll love it!"
What. The. Fuck? Learning experience? Shopping? Even Linda is looking strangely at him. "Don't be such a stuck up Remus. He obviously has things to do here. Don't you Harry?" She raises an eyebrow. I have to think up a good excuse. Dammit, she always puts me on the spotlight. She is the type of sadistic woman who enjoys watching men squirm.
I think I'm in love.
With her cleavage that is as she leans down to my height. She knows I'm looking, and I know she knows I'm looking. That makes me blush. She enjoys my blush. What a nymph, seriously. I shake my head of the distracting (very distracting, wink wink) thoughts. "Yeah, I have to practice my charms. I am thinking up a new spell that will transform my sister into a kodo meat."
Remus blinks. So does Linda. "Err, that's transfiguration." No way! Brilliant. No wonder he's the defense against the dark arts professor. Okay maybe I'm a bit jealous of him. A bit.
"It needs to be permanent." I nod my head wisely.
Linda smirks, "Cannibal Harry?" She asks jokingly. I keep nodding. She stops smiling, and looks at me strangely.
"Emmy is in her room, sulking. So I don't have to come right?"
"Yeah, girl robes will look great on you." Linda purrs as she runs a hand through my wild black hair. I shiver. She does this on purpose I know it.
Remus shakes his head again. "Just come Harry. It will be fun." He is already used to EmmyÆsà emotional personality. Yes, letÆs call it emotional. Crybaby.
I growl. They got me there, the bastards. They ruined my schemes again. I shake my fist at their backs as they enter the house (while also admiring her behind of course.)
Okay maybe I'm taking this dark lord thing too far. Or not far enough. Dark lords don't have to go shopping! They are so cool. They can do whatever they want, and they get the babes too. Everyone knows girls love naughty dark lords.
I scratch my head. Am I really eleven? I sound like a regular pervert. No, I'm just mature. I smirk, and follow them to the living room.
Floo. Whoopee. I hate it. Who likes to be spun around a couple million times in a fireplace of all places?
They already gathered Emmy, who was all dressed up and ready to shop judging by her bouncing feet. ôSo what are you going to buy me today, Remus?ö She asks, excited. You could practically see the dollar sign in her eyes.
ôNothing. But you are going to buy me a ring, arenÆt you Remus?ö Linda says seductively. At least I think itÆs seductively. I really canÆt tell with that woman.
Emmy squeals, ôYouÆre getting married? Aww. ThatÆs so cute!ö Oh geez, please not this. Anything but this. Girl talk! ôHow did he propose?ö my sister whispers. RemusÆs face turns red as he scratches his stomach.
Linda smirks, ôWe were going on a balloon ride, and when I looked down, there were a bunch of pumpkins arranged to spell out, will you marry me Linda?ö She sighs, ôIt was so romantic!ö
Emmy gasps dramatically. Wowà she mouths. Remus sure is subtle. If it were me I would be direct, and ask her straight up. My mind wanders. I imagine how it would look likeà.
ôYo Linda,ö I say, dressed in a fur coat, and covered with the type of bling I saw in gangster videos. ôMarry me?ö
She is dressed in a nurse outfit, with the skirt a bit short. Almost too short. No, no such thing, my mistake. Too short! Pssh. She blushes and pounces on me like the beast she isà I start-
I snap out of it. The three are already gone. Dammit, I feel pathetic staring off into space like that. I throw a bit of floo powder into the blazing fire, and jump.
I forget to shout anything.
Chapter Four û Knockturn Alley
Where do you go when you jump into the floo with no destination in mind? Apparently, the ministry of magic.
The place that I landed in, on my bum, was the floo office of Britain. It was basically a small room magically enlarged (an experienced charms user can easily tell), it had a big desk in the middle of the room. No decorations, just plain white walls, and a door to the side. But there were lots and lots of fireplaces holed in the walls, all about a meter apart.
The elderly woman sitting behind the desk had a scowl on her face when she saw me. I immediately took a dislike to her, she looked like she a stick shoved up her-
ôWhat are you doing here, boy?ö She snapped. She said it like she was superior, her tone trying to immediately command respect and attention. You know the tone where you enunciate each and every word like it was a curse and speak in a loud screeching voice. That kind of tone.
I hate that kind of patronizing and mocking tone. Everyone uses it when they talk about me, saying how IÆm not as good as my sister. Or maybe not. I donÆt particularly remember much because I always spent my time in my room when there were guests over.
That toneà The owner of the tone expected an answer apparently, judging by her glare. If looks could kill she would be in prison.
Now if my looks could kill, I would easily be classed as most wanted. I glared at her, not giving an inch. In my mind this was a contest of glares, and I was a monster right here.
ôI forgot to say the destination when I jumped in the floo.ö I spoke in the same tone she used. Superior. The I-am-much-better-than-you tone. I think I might have done it better than her too. She looked shocked. Oh wait, nope never mind. Just angry.
ôYou are in the floo office of Britain,ö She says. No shit, old woman. Got any other bright deductions? ôWhere were you intending to go?ö She is sneering, I just know it. She is hiding that sneer and inside she is probably making fun of me.
Or I have problems. Either way I start getting mad. When I get mad, which is quite often ûDid you know dark lords get mad a lot? ItÆs practically in the job description û Anyways when I get mad, I turn mean and snarky.
ôI was intending to go to Knockturn Alley, grandma.ö I say, smirking at the hurt look in her eyes. Wait what? Hurtà? Shit. Maybe I was wrong about her trying to mock meà That makes me feel like a jerk. But then again, anyone who lets words get to them deserves to be hurt. Weak is what it is. I look again, wait a minuteà ThatÆs not hurt, thatÆs outrage.
I never let words affect me. I never let insults or slights on my ego affect me the slightest bit. At least thatÆs what I try to be like. I wave it off when I overhear someone commenting on how much better my sister is than me, (though I remember their names), or when people ignore me in favour of my famous sister.
Sibling jealousy. IÆm not really jealous, I think. Okay maybe a little, but who wouldnÆt be?
ôSo can I go to Knockturn Alley? Do you have floo powder?ö I say, a bit impatiently.
She huffs, ôThat will be three sickles.ö I furiously shove my hand in my pocket, and hand her the money. In return I get a bit of floo powder. I feel ripped off, the woman obviously cheated me.
ôWhatÆs your name?ö I ask, ever so polite. My words practically ooze with honey. I blink widely and try my best to act cute.
I fail. Miserably. But I know this, I know how it looks like I am up to something when I do the look.
ôDolores Umbridge.ö She gives me a glare, ôGet out of here you troublemaker.ö Under her breath I bet she is whispering how much she wants me killed. Why did I think someone like her could have her feelings hurt? Pssh. Stupid conscience. IÆve heard of her, the meanest, most prejudiced bitch around. Always sticking her nose in everything.
Mostly Remus goes on about it, how she is taking away the little rights that the werewolves have. ThatÆs too bad, I like Remus. Nobody messes with my beef jerky guy!
This woman obviously has connections. I smile widely, knowing that my fox-like smile disturbs people. Slowly, very slowly, I take out a pad from my back pocket. I open it to an empty page right in front of her view. I do this so slowly she is bound to get curious. Snatching a quill from her desk I write on top:
People to Kill, Maim and Torture
Dolores Umbridge
She jerks her head back and stares at me strangely. No doubt thinking, ôWhat the fuck?!ö I give a vicious smirk. My smirks are like this: I curl my top lip, twitch my nose upwards, and think of the most disgusting thing I can. (People fawning over Emmy) This will give her the nightmares! Turning around, I throw the floo powder in the fireplace and shout, ôKnockturn Alley.ö
Heheheh.
IÆm not supposed to go there. Nope, it was Diagon Alley I was supposed to go for my shopping but who cares. I wonder if I can steal some dark objects. That will get me started on my path to dark lordishness.
I land on my feet this time, though just barely. Looking around, I see that I am in a shop. What can I say about this shop? It was dark and gloomy, like a vampire hideout. There were shelves all around the room arranged in an unorganized manner. Strange objects were on the shelf. Things like crystal balls, orbs of various colours, pendants and necklaces, rings, books, jewelleryà
I look around. Nobody is here! NowÆs my chance. I snap out my wand, conjure a bag that is small on the outside, but as big as this shop on the inside. It was a very difficult spell to master, mastered just for an occasion like this: A place full of nifty things with nobody around.
ôAccio!ö I wave my wand around the room. Instantly, every single object on the shelves jerk and fly straight into my bag. The store had been looted in seconds.
I make my way to the glass door, the exit. Someone comes into the room behind me, I can hear an him shouting at me. I turn around, firing off a jelly legs jinx. He shields it easily, and waves at the door.
My eyes widen. The door is covered by iron bolts. I am trapped.
ôShit,ö I curse. The bag is in my hand. Quickly I shove it into my pocket, and cast a blur charm on my face.
ôWho are you?ö The man says cautiously, wand ready and aiming at my heart.
I say nothing, just observe him carefully. The way he carries himself, on the edge of his feet, right arm holding wand aimed straight at me, left arm out in frontà He is an experienced dueller. I can see that.
No way out. But I am not a charms genius for nothing, if I do say so myself. I am only eleven, but I have mastered practically every charm I have ever come across. I know hundreds of charms, to cook, clean, do my laundry, powerful charms to change the weatherà I know so many charms, yet my mind freezes and comes to a blank.
The dueller breaks the silence with a wordless black curse. I jump, it races past my ear and hits a shelf. The shelf explodes in a shower of slivers and sparks. Brandishing my wand, I jab it in his direction.
I summon arrows that fly straight towards him. He shouts a Latin incantation that I donÆt recognize, the arrows blow up in flames. Geez, pyromaniacà
ôLet me go!ö I say, while casting a wordless shield to block from a nasty looking yellow colored jinx.
ôGive me back my stuff!ö He roars, before going all out. He starts shooting every curse, jinx, hex, and spell he can think of at me. Most of them are dark magic, I recognize it by itÆs feel. I dodge most of them, and use shields for the most part. I am trying to save my energy for an all out surprise attackà. At the door.
You know the blue shield I love to cast against my sister? The one my mother invented?
ItÆs incantation is ôAlamorus Rex.ö It uses a torrent of power, but once up it never goes down until the owner chooses to dissipate it. The shield forms a sort of mental connection with you. ItÆs hard to explain, but itÆs really cool. Only the toughest of spells can break through.
ItÆs my trump card, my last resort.
The only problem is it tires you out. A lot. I just used it barely a few hours ago against the mock duel with my sister. I was pretty tired, but I felt I could do this once again.
I wave my wand in a square shape, the square shape appears, four shining lines of blue. The man looks strangely at me, I smirk. Good thing my blur charm is up on my face. I donÆt want him to recognize me after all. ôSorry.ö I say. Then I jab my wand in the center of the square. Blue light fills the square as it expands in front of me, like a thick wall. It expands so slowlyà
The manÆs eyes widen in anger. ôYou fucking bastard!ö He cries, once again on the offensive. Every spell he tries against me hits the blue shield wall, dissipating some and bouncing others off.
ôBye old man!ö I shout, before turning towards the door. ôReducto!ö I cry, a red light shoots off my wand and makes a puny hole. Damn, I must be really low on my stamina right now. But itÆs enough to crawl out of.
The street is practically deserted, but there are mean looking wizards and hags hiding in the allies.
I run in the direction of Gringotts, the bag (I cast a charm to make it light of course) in my pocket, full of treasures. I didnÆt look back once. When I reached the end of Knockturn Alley, I dissipated the shield.
I donÆt think a store has ever been robbed before. IÆve never heard of it happen, ever actually. Well, I just gave the media front page headlines right?
Who knew I would be right? I swear I have some divination blood in me.
Chapter Four - Shopping, yuck!
I made my way over to Gringotts, where I guessed my sister and her entourage were going to be. The street was crowded, filled with students who were just like us - Procrastinators. When I saw Gringotts, I almost sweat dropped. Well I can't actually, but I am an avid reader and I heard that's what they do in manga and anime. There was a huge dollar sign made in shiny gold placed in front of the building. It was huge. Like a mile tall and a mile wide.
Yes, I get the message. Gringotts is rich as fuck. I should rob it. I jingled my pocket, the enchanted bag full of merchandise illegally begotten still there. I grinned meanly, the shopkeeper must be having a heart attack. Serves him right, trying to use dark arts. Don't people know that dark arts corrupt worse than free unlimited internet access? Sheesh.
I enter the building, paying no attention to the poem. I mean who would? The basic message if the curious want to know was, you rob me I kill you. Goblins sure are civilized. My kind of people.
The carpets are plush red, curtains hang on the walls, triangular windows with gold dollar signs stood out particularly. I swear they take after Disney's Scrooge McDuck.
"Hey!" I called out when I saw Remus, his girlfriend, and my annoying sister. "Where were you guys?" Yea make them feel guilty. Am I a genius or what?
"We were waiting for you." Emmy said, a frown on her face, lips wrinkled in disgust. Pah, I say. Pah! I don't need their disgust. No really, I don't.
I shrugged, "Well anyways let's get some gold and get outta here."
"There's a line." Remus told me succintly. "Line means wait."
I rolled my eyes, "Says you. I'm gonna go look around. I'll be at Olivanders."
The wand shop. The one with the creepy guy who has a super memory. The man who would teach me how to get that super memory. Yes, it was Olivanders.
I skipped down the street to the old wand shop. It even had a sign! 'Ye olde wand shope.' Wonderful. I openned the door, the bells jingled merrily as it announced my presence. Bastards.
"Hey Olivander!" I called. "You in here?"
The shop was deserted. There was a counter, and lots and lots and lots and lots of shelves. The whole place looked like a mess: boxes filled with wands everywhere. I still don't understand how Olivanders has a perfect memory... You wanna know his secret? Organization. Hypocrite.
"Ah, Harry Potter. Is that you?" The old man called out in his creepy high baritone. He was dressed in pale brown robes, a little goatee hung off his chin no doubt thinking it made him look cool (it kinda did), he had a wizarding hat and little specs that made him look like a mad scientist. Wonderful.
"Yeah it's me old man. So what have you been up to?" I asked, "Made any interesting wands?"
The man shook his head. "Life is pretty stable around here. I retired from collection wand materials a long time ago, boy. Now I just build wands."
I nodded. "So..."
The old man sighed. "I know you want something, Harry. You never come here if you don't want something."
I scowled and crossed my arms over my chest. "You told me last time I was in here that you were going to tell me the secret to having a perfect memory like you!"
The old man nodded. "Okay fine." He grumbled and fiddled around in his big pocket over the stomach of the robe. "Here." He said snatching out a slim handwritten notebook. "All my secrets. Go on, take a look. But give it back when you're done."
I smiled innocently and walked out the door. I heard Olivanders sigh behind me as he muttered, "Knew the brat was going to do that."
Maybe my slow as a mule escorts are done with getting gold out of the greedy goblins' fingers. Yay! I examine the binding of the thin notebook, approximately fifty pages I guessed. The covers were black leather, it was meant to be a personal diary of sorts. Olivander's diary? Convenient.
This must be valuable. I decided righ then and there to send it back to him after I was done with it. Which would be never.
I flipped open the notebook, a small white card falls out. 'To Harry - Happy Birthday. -Olivanders.' I smiled, the old man sure was nice. He remembered today was my birthday!
I shoved the card in my pockets, the smae one with the bag, and started reading. The first page was a cover. It was empty except for an untidy scrawl in the middle that said, 'Olivanders - Mind techniques journal.' I was getting excited. This must be worth it's weight in gold! Let's see, it wieghed less then a feather, so it must be worth about... pah.
Next page. Same untidy scrawl. There was a title, 'Speed reading.' I flip some more pages, all about speed reading. It would come in handy once I get to Hogwarts, I supposed. The next chapter said, 'Memory tricks.' Tricks eh? That's Olivander's secret. I thought it was something like this. The next chapter's heading was, 'Occlumency and Legilimency.' Never heard of it. Interesting. That was pretty much all the book was about. That's why it was slim you see.
"Hey Harry!" I heard the whiny voice of Emmy's. "Get over here."
"In a sec." I hastily shoved the book in my pocket and ran over to my escorts... on the other side of the street.
The rest of the day passed in boredom... we bought robes, school books, a trunk, potion ingrediants, and more stuff. I was looking forward to going home and opening the pack of goodies I acquired. I couldn't wait! We took the floo again, I thought I could see the old hag's face in the fire scowling at me. I shrugged my shoulders and fell to the floor of the living room in a heap. Emmy landed gracefully next to me, on her two feet. Remus and his girlfriend followed.
AN: Waddaya think?
Prologue
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was a time of war.
War not against mere factions, but against good and evil, against light and darkness, against normal innocent people... That line was often blurred.
James Potter, head of the auror department, was dressed in full battle gear. He, along with his four man team, were dressed to kill. Aurors were head of the police force for the magical people and sometimes they had to make tough choices. They had to do tough things. They had to kill.
They had to assassinate.
"Are you all ready?" James faced the group, unblinking, as he asked them. This was the time to back out. The one chance the team had. Nobody took it.
James nodded, "I thought so. Shall we then?" They apparrated out of the headquarters with quiet pops in the busy street of Knockturne Alley.
"Shall we run through the plan one more time, sir?" The new guy, a cautious teen who just graduated from the auror academy, looked hesitant.
James understood. He nodded, and stayed silent along with the rest of the team as the newbie went through it one more time.
"So we barge in the wand maker's shop, drop explosives in the middle of the floor, and apparate out?"
"Basically." James said.
The newbie sighed, blinking in the bright afternoon sunlight. "Very well, sir. But it seems-"
"For god's sake now is not the time to back out!" James yelled, "You had the chance ten minutes ago. Now do the job or else I'll fire your ass."
The newbie nodded frantically. The team moved on.
The wand maker's shop they were targeting had been allegedly selling wands to known death eaters, all wanted for arrest. It was based on good information, on private sources of Rufus Scrimgoer himself.
The wand maker also had a wife and three kids.
In war one had to be ruthless, had to oppress all their feelings and concentrate on the task at hand.
The auror team, dressed in dark casual robes, entered the shop. It was dim lit, and filled with dirty shelves. The wands had been squashed without care in big boxes. It was a scene of unorganized chaos.
One of them stood outside as a guard. Quickly working as a team, they stunned all the customers inside and floated them away, while brutally putting down the wand maker with a quick reducto to the chest. From under his robes, James pulled out a metal box, pressed the red button, and carefully set it down to the floor. The team walked out without a word, and apparrated out as the shop exploded with a flash. There wasn't a clue as to who committed this crime, but everyone knew it was the order. Only the order did things like this. The aurors weren't authorized to do so.
James Potter congratulated his team on a job well done, not knowing the sight that would greet him when he got back home.
Voldemort always paid back in spades.
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The Potters lived in a five bedroom town house on GodricÆs Hollow, a place inhabited mostly by muggles. The house was also placed under the fidelous charm, it's secret keeper being Peter Pettigrew. One of James' most trusted friends.
The one problem with close friends is that they have a nasty habit of stabbing you in the back. Peter had this nasty habit.
Peter did not feel a hint of sorrow as he led the dark lord Voldemort to the Potter's house.
"Are you sure this is the right way? If you are wasting my time you will definitely regret it."
"Yes of course," Peter simpered, "This is the right way. I am sure of it."
"Good." The dark lord said nothing else. He didn't need to, he already made a threatening impression with his black robes, red eyes, creepy white skin, and snakish tongue.
The house was large, but not too large. It was painted white, and looked just like the other houses on this drive. Not too remarkable, not bad either. Peter pointed a finger to the house, "There it is, my lord."
"Wonderful, Peter. You did good. Now get lost!" The dark lord growled, preferring to do this alone. He loved to test himself all the time, and after months of boring planning, he was itching for a fight.
Peter squeaked and apparrated out with an amateur pop. VoldemortÆs eye twitched at his follower's inept skill.
'He made a good spy... and will continue to have a use for me.' He mused, as he entered the house, opening the door without knocking. Everything was messy inside, toys lay on the floor, along with socks, spoons, and dirty food. He sneered in disgust. He entered the kitchen, which was a mess. The fridge was stained with drips of mustard, the dining table covered in newspapers, and the floor was too filthy to describe. But no adults were here. He heard something in the living room. A kind of scream.
The sight that greeted him in the living room made his blood boil. Two twin babies in their carriage, crying and waving their arms. They had made a mess it seemed. 'Where is Lily and James...?' Voldemort wondered, casting his red eyes around.
"Come out, Lily... Wherever you are." He muttered softly. His smooth baritone carried though. Smirking, he heard a shuffling from the stairs. He turned around, looking vindictive at Lily's frozen face.
Lily had green eyes that shined brightly with a brilliance of their own, red hair that was the envy of her students (mostly girls) in Hogwarts, but the most striking thing was what she was wearing. An apron. A filthy muggle apron.
"Leave-" She stammered, but collected herself shortly. "Leave my babies alone!" She screamed, taking her wand out, a curse on her lips.
Voldemort reacted instantly, apparrating to her side and casting a slashing curse at her leg. She stumbled and fell, but she was not the legendary charms mistress for nothing.
She turned, casting a blue shield as she backed away, falling to a defensive position in front of her children.
Voldemort scowled briefly. He wanted to save his killing curses for James, but oh well. With a shrug, he cast an avada kedavra. A green light, glowing sickly, hit the blue shield, making it dissipate. The green light, weakened, faded away to nothingness.
Voldemort raised an eyebrow. The shield was pretty powerful to dissipate a killing curse. Interesting, it seemed Lily had been busy during childbirth.
"This won't save you," Voldemort said. "Hand your children over to me."
"No. No I will never do that!" She cried, defiant. To Voldemort's trained eye, it was easy to see that she was scared and about to break.
"Do you really think you can win against me?" Voldemort smirked. "I am twice your age, and am the most powerful wizard in the world." Now it was time for the real psychological warfare tricks to begin.
"If you hand over your children, I will spare you."
"What? No!" Lily was scared, and indignant at the same time. "I am not some c-coward." She raised her wand and shot off a few curses at Voldemort. The dark lord didn't even flinch. He raised his hand, and the spells dissipated in mid-air.
For Lily this was the end. It was time to use... that.
"Please, take me. Kill me but don't-" She sobbed. "Don't kill my children, please!"
"If that's how you want it to be," Voldemort shrugged. "Goodbye."
"Avada Kedavra!" He hissed, smiling widely as the woman collapsed. "Now to take care of you nuisances."
The twins started crying, and screeching. It was annoying.
He looked at the right baby. "You first. Avada Kedavra." He smirked as the green light hit the child's forehead.
Then something strange happened. The green light... rebounded. It bounced back and hit Voldemort straight in the chest. He flew back as he was disinter grated in midair. His body turned to ash. But his spirit was not yet destroyed. It howled as it tore itself from Voldemort's body. Instead of dissipating or turning into a ghost like creature, it turned black and formed the shape of a snake.
The black smoke-like snake screeched in agony, and floated away from the Potter house with a bang.
The babies on the other hand remained relatively unharmed. The one on the right had a curse scar shaped like a lightning bolt on it's forehead. It slowly disappeared. A brick fell on the baby on the left however, causing a long gash to appear on her forehead.
It glowed as magical backlash seeped into the gash. The gash closed forming a red scar that reeked of leftover dark magic. The baby on the right, a boy, looked unharmed, yet he was the one most damaged.
Chapter One - Home
Home is a place you stay, isn't it? Well, I guess I have many homes then. Thousands at least. You see, I move around a lot. That is mainly because of my father, hotshot auror and head of every investigation concerning dark lordsà Around the world. But really I don't mind that much. It's kind of fun, to see new places, meet new people. Muggles mainly, which is what I like.
Wizards, and witches... They don't really pay attention to me. They just fawn on my twin sister, Emmy. Why you ask? No it isn't because she is really cute or something. It's simply because... She is the Girl-Who-Lived. Scarface... Not really something to fawn about in my opinion.
We are both eleven years old, and soon we will start Hogwarts. Tomorrow, actually. Hogwarts... It will be a terror. I am not really one to be jealous, but it is kind of hard when even my father won't pay me the slightest attention. He's barely around, but when he is it's always Emmy this and Emmy that.
I don't mind. I like being alone actually, playing with my mother's wand and leafing through her charms books.
No I'm not a mama's boy. She's dead. She died in the attack where Voldemort was destroyed. We lived. It's all really famous now, the brave story of Emmy Potter, and how she defeated the big bad dark wizard. I hate it! How come I don't get any recognition? It's not fair!
Ok maybe I am a bit jealous, but anyone would be the same if they were in my position. Only difference is I work hard. I work hard and I will continue to work hard until I get the recognition I deserve. Already I have mastered my mother's level 1,2, and 3, charms books. I am probably as good as a third year student. Maybe even better.
Only at charms though.
But I'll get better in everything I do. Why? Because I have ambition, I have cunning, I am brave, and hard working. Not for the first time, I wonder what house I am going to go to. I hope it's Slytherin. That will really piss my family off. Especially Sirius who goes on and on about that crap: How Slytherin is evil, and Gryffindor is good. Did he forget who really betrayed our parents?
I don't like him. I don't really like anyone, not even Remus who is always kind to me. I am a bit of a loner I guess, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Everyone knows after all that loners make awesome dark lords.
Dark Lord Potter... Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
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Breakfast was quiet. The day before we go to Hogwarts. The day we go shopping. Whoopee. I wonder if father will buy me anything good. A broomstick maybe. Quidditch is fun to play, I have only played it once though. My sister on the other hand goes with Sirius to his house all the time. He has a Quidditch pitch you know so my sister will probably make the team. In her first year maybe. Who knows. Not me certainly.
I am pessimistic. But its not my fault! How can I not be? I don't have any skills ingrained into me, like dueling. I suck at dueling. I'm horrible at it. I can't move quickly enough and always end up losing when I spar against my sister. I also suck at flying. I tried it once when I was actually invited to Sirius's house. I snuck into the broom shed in the middle of the night, went flying, and hit a pole...
It was dark, I couldn't see. Do you think Sirius cared though? Since that incident I have never been invited to his house. It's always Emmy this and Emmy that. Always like it. You see why I'm so pessimistic? You don't? Okay then. Just take my word for it, the only thing I'm good at is charms. I can out charm Flitwick even. Okay maybe not, but still... I like him, he always pays attention to me and teaches me new spells when he comes over for... order business.
Order... Order of the Phoenix. My dad is in it, that's why he never comes home. Personally I think he just hangs out in strip clubs, but the last time I suggested that in the middle of dinner with the minister of magic... Well, I have never been invited to dinners again.
Well it's not my fault. My sister tells me I was dropped on the head when I was a baby. Repeatedly. I believe her, it's the only explanation I can think of.
We are twins, yet my sister is perfect in every way. I am a regular klutz. But I'll show them. I'll show them all! I will become the next dark lord, that is my secret ambition. That is how I'll prove my worth.
Where Voldemort failed, I will succeed.
I will kill my sister.
A bit dramatic donÆt you think? Well maybe not kill, IÆll settle for being annoying too.
But breakfast was anything but dramatic. It was pretty boring actually, I went down at ten in the morning to the kitchen, made myself something to eat, and saw Emmy practicing her spells in the backyard. SheÆs like that, a perfectionist. I want to be like that, but itÆs too much work. Being a dark lord is supposed to be fun, so naturally we can assume that to actually become a dark lord is fun too right? ThatÆs my policy, just have fun.
I take a sausage with me, and enter the backyard. The air smells fresh and green. How can you smell green? No it smells like plants and trees, that green smell. Do you know what I am talking about. Greeeeeeeenà.. Nice sound. I like green. ItÆs my favourite color. Just another reason I want to be in Slytherin.
LetÆs see I have the smirk. Check. I have the green sweater and jeans, not check. Slytherins hate muggles. I donÆt. I love them, they are pretty interesting because if I am ever stuck in a desert with no wand, IÆll do what the muggles do. Die probably.
ôWhat are you doing here?ö Emmy snapped, her green eyes blazing. Well not really blazing, she had a scowl on her face and her eyes were narrowed. It just seemed blazing.
My eyes twinkled. No really they did. Dumbledore style. I found the trick in a charms book. I just did it because I knew how much it annoyed her.
ôStill practicing?ö I drawled, ôYou will never beat me you know.ö Her face reddened, she was furious. Perfect. All the signs of rage, fists clenched, eyes squinted, lips crinkled up, now was my chance!
ôYou think you are so good, just because you are a fucking charms genius-ô She cut herself off, breathing hard. So thatÆs what she was practicing. Charms.
ôAh so you acknowledge that charms is much superior to your pathetic defence against the dark arts.ö
ôGo to hell!ö She snapped. ôI will become better than you in this. There must be some trick to this.ö
Ah, she was always like this. Always had this drive to be perfect. I sneered in disdain. Pathetic. Everyone knows that the lazier you are, the more successful you become. ôSo want to duel?ö
Remember when I said she always beat me in duels? Not really, I give a good fight when I feel like it. Most of the time I just give up when I start to sweat. Sure I work hard, but only when I learn new spells.
ôBring it on.ö She yelled, brandishing her wand like a sword. ôI will crush youàö Her nostrils were flaring! It took all my will to stop from laughing. Typical Gryffindor. Sirius was the same way around that slimy bat Snape. IÆve been to Hogwarts before, mostly in the summer time. Order meetings and all.
Why do they have order meetings when the dark lord is dead? Oh yeah the new dark lord in china. BritainÆs helping or something, and they have assigned the order to the task. Pssh.
A dark yellow curse raced by me. Sinister. I have to pay attention. Carelessly, (its an act, my heartÆs pounding inside) I waved my wand and a blue shield appeared in front of me, circling me and creating a sphere of defence. I smirked, seeing her enraged look. She tries every spell she can, but nothing well get past it short of a killing curse.
It was my motherÆs spell, it was in her notes. I took a look through it before Dumbledore stole it. I donÆt like Dumbledore. His eyes twinkle too, but in a way that is just too piercing. It makes me uncomfortable, so I always avoid eye contact with him.
I look bored. Yawn. It was such a good yawn, I practiced in front of the mirror. Careless, lazy, the I-am-better-than-you yawn. I sit down, take a book from my back pocket, and read.
She is yelling something, but I canÆt hear. The sound is muffled in here, so I can just read my book in peace all day long. Or at least until father comes. He gets really angry when he sees it. Reminds him of Lily. I donÆt like him either. I realized something right now. I donÆt like anybody. Well thatÆs not true, I like my mother but sheÆs dead. And I likeà myself. That has to count for something.
Too troublesome to figure out. I go back to my book, a muggle erotica. A giggle escapes me, and a blush. This is soà dirty.
It also makes my sister furious when she sees it. Something about feminism. She canÆt do anything about it though. I am not a charms genius for nothing. Of course she tells on me, but father doesnÆt do anything about it either. He just sighs tiredly, and sleeps. Then he is up early in the morning, before me certainly, and runs to his work. Fun.
I bet a dark lord isnÆt like this. He just laughs, the classic mwahahahhaha, kills stuff, laughs some more, and sleeps. I think. That sounds fun. Lazy, powerful, fun. Like a python. I like pythons, I wish I could talk to them. That would be so cool.
Emmy goes back inside the house, tearing her hair in frustration. So emotional. DoesnÆt she realize she is already better than me? She has everything. Skills, approval, Quidditch, money. I have no doubt whoÆs going to inherit the Potter family fortune. Fuck! So much money. I saw her trust fund. Then I saw mine. The WeasleysÆ would have laughed at me if they saw it.
Just another reason I would rather eat a toad than be in the same Hogwarts House as her.
I read. Remus should be here soon to take us shopping. Maybe he brought his werewolf girlfriend too. I drool.
Chapter Two û Meet Remus and his Nymphie Girlfriend
There are two things I love in this world, beef jerky, and charms. My family approved of neither.
Stupid vegetarians... What do they know. Luckily, Remus also loved beef jerky. That's the only reason I like him really, he always brings me some. He works as a manager for a beef jerky company. I drool at the thought of another package of the spicy dried meat. I can lick it slowly, chew it, enjoy the taste and the furious looks of my sister. Yum.
What more could you want? Approval? Attention? Money? The drive to be perfect? Yeah, I wanted that, hell I still do. Somewhere along the way I lost the drive to be perfect because nobody gave me any recognition. But I don't mind. Okay that's a lie. I do mind. I want money! I want everyone to fawn over me! I want people to compliment me!
Nobody ever does. Except Remus, who is too nice not to compliment but it just doesn't mean much when it comes out of the werewolf. He compliments everything about everyone. A total suck up. I hate that in people. We are all equals, we should stand tall, never bowing to anyone no matter what. Pssh. Suck ups. I guess I hate it when everyone sucks up to Emmy, hoping to share in her spotlight.
Oh didn't you know? She practically has a monopoly on the press, Emmy this, Emmy that. A real celebrity. Yup I hate suck ups. Remus is a suck up.
Then again, he has beef jerky... so I guess its okay. In fact it's a good thing. I love it! Beef jerky, beautiful meat... I have dreams of living in a house made of beef jerky, and maybe having a giant pot of it where I can bathe daily...
I think I am addicted. Those bastards probably put something in there to poison me and keep me from achieving my full potential! Yeah thatÆs it. ThatÆs why IÆm not perfect, and I donÆt get the same amount of fame that Emmy does.
Then again, seeing Remus's innocent face when he walked into the yard made it seem a bit ridiculous. What was even more ridiculous was the hot girl he scored. She was a werewolf just like him, her name was Linda, and she was aggressive. That's an understatement actually.
She had a massive chest (Know what I mean?), wide hips, luscious lips... Another reason for me to drool as I imagined her in the muggle erotica I was reading. I quickly shook my head of these thoughts, a blush coming to my cheeks when Linda winked at me. Dissipating the shield, I got up and greeted Remus cheerfully.
"Hey Remus! Beef Jerky?" Four words. Four lovely words. I think they should make it into a spell, a happy spell. Certainly works for me.
Remus gave a short chuckle, "Yeah, I brought a new flavor today Harry. You must really love these things, huh?"
"Not as much as you do." Linda retorted, her hand holding his shoulders and pulling him closer towards her. "That company is turning you into a beast, Remus."
Remus gave an embarrassed laugh, before getting a happy gleam in his eye. "Hey Harry, guess what?"
"What?"
"Linda and I are getting married!"
Goddamit.
I don't want to hurt Remus, there goes my plan to hit it on Linda. Ah well, they come and go.
I look to what the two are doing, Linda is nibbling on Remus's ear. Nibbling! I want a werewolf girlfriend too! Remus pushes her away a bit (Why? Is he gay?), and turns to me. "Where is Emmy?" Nope, he just has pedophilic tendencies I suppose.
I scowl. They notice. They always do, yet they still fawn on her. They think I'm a jealous brat, don't they? They think I want to steal her money! They think I want to steal her fame! They think I want to be just like her!
Wait what? Where did that come from? I don't want to be like her. No way. I am Harry Potter, charms genius extraordinaire, the laziest and coolest person you will ever meet.
Seriously I am lazy. It's my best strength. I find short cuts so I don't have to work so hard. It's a trick I picked up from... I don't know where really. I think I just invented some tricks to save time and energy. I should patent them.
"Hey do I have to come with you guys to Diagon Alley?" I asked, as I ripped open the box of beef jerky. "I don't need to go, really. Why don't you all just get the same things you're getting for Emmy?" I don't have much money in my trust fund. I just know they are getting a nimbus for her. I want one too!
Remus shook his head. "This will be a good learning experience for you, Harry. You'll love it!"
What. The. Fuck? Learning experience? Shopping? Even Linda is looking strangely at him. "Don't be such a stuck up Remus. He obviously has things to do here. Don't you Harry?" She raises an eyebrow. I have to think up a good excuse. Dammit, she always puts me on the spotlight. She is the type of sadistic woman who enjoys watching men squirm.
I think I'm in love.
With her cleavage that is as she leans down to my height. She knows I'm looking, and I know she knows I'm looking. That makes me blush. She enjoys my blush. What a nymph, seriously. I shake my head of the distracting (very distracting, wink wink) thoughts. "Yeah, I have to practice my charms. I am thinking up a new spell that will transform my sister into a kodo meat."
Remus blinks. So does Linda. "Err, that's transfiguration." No way! Brilliant. No wonder he's the defense against the dark arts professor. Okay maybe I'm a bit jealous of him. A bit.
"It needs to be permanent." I nod my head wisely.
Linda smirks, "Cannibal Harry?" She asks jokingly. I keep nodding. She stops smiling, and looks at me strangely.
"Emmy is in her room, sulking. So I don't have to come right?"
"Yeah, girl robes will look great on you." Linda purrs as she runs a hand through my wild black hair. I shiver. She does this on purpose I know it.
Remus shakes his head again. "Just come Harry. It will be fun." He is already used to EmmyÆsà emotional personality. Yes, letÆs call it emotional. Crybaby.
I growl. They got me there, the bastards. They ruined my schemes again. I shake my fist at their backs as they enter the house (while also admiring her behind of course.)
Okay maybe I'm taking this dark lord thing too far. Or not far enough. Dark lords don't have to go shopping! They are so cool. They can do whatever they want, and they get the babes too. Everyone knows girls love naughty dark lords.
I scratch my head. Am I really eleven? I sound like a regular pervert. No, I'm just mature. I smirk, and follow them to the living room.
Floo. Whoopee. I hate it. Who likes to be spun around a couple million times in a fireplace of all places?
They already gathered Emmy, who was all dressed up and ready to shop judging by her bouncing feet. ôSo what are you going to buy me today, Remus?ö She asks, excited. You could practically see the dollar sign in her eyes.
ôNothing. But you are going to buy me a ring, arenÆt you Remus?ö Linda says seductively. At least I think itÆs seductively. I really canÆt tell with that woman.
Emmy squeals, ôYouÆre getting married? Aww. ThatÆs so cute!ö Oh geez, please not this. Anything but this. Girl talk! ôHow did he propose?ö my sister whispers. RemusÆs face turns red as he scratches his stomach.
Linda smirks, ôWe were going on a balloon ride, and when I looked down, there were a bunch of pumpkins arranged to spell out, will you marry me Linda?ö She sighs, ôIt was so romantic!ö
Emmy gasps dramatically. Wowà she mouths. Remus sure is subtle. If it were me I would be direct, and ask her straight up. My mind wanders. I imagine how it would look likeà.
ôYo Linda,ö I say, dressed in a fur coat, and covered with the type of bling I saw in gangster videos. ôMarry me?ö
She is dressed in a nurse outfit, with the skirt a bit short. Almost too short. No, no such thing, my mistake. Too short! Pssh. She blushes and pounces on me like the beast she isà I start-
I snap out of it. The three are already gone. Dammit, I feel pathetic staring off into space like that. I throw a bit of floo powder into the blazing fire, and jump.
I forget to shout anything.
Chapter Four û Knockturn Alley
Where do you go when you jump into the floo with no destination in mind? Apparently, the ministry of magic.
The place that I landed in, on my bum, was the floo office of Britain. It was basically a small room magically enlarged (an experienced charms user can easily tell), it had a big desk in the middle of the room. No decorations, just plain white walls, and a door to the side. But there were lots and lots of fireplaces holed in the walls, all about a meter apart.
The elderly woman sitting behind the desk had a scowl on her face when she saw me. I immediately took a dislike to her, she looked like she a stick shoved up her-
ôWhat are you doing here, boy?ö She snapped. She said it like she was superior, her tone trying to immediately command respect and attention. You know the tone where you enunciate each and every word like it was a curse and speak in a loud screeching voice. That kind of tone.
I hate that kind of patronizing and mocking tone. Everyone uses it when they talk about me, saying how IÆm not as good as my sister. Or maybe not. I donÆt particularly remember much because I always spent my time in my room when there were guests over.
That toneà The owner of the tone expected an answer apparently, judging by her glare. If looks could kill she would be in prison.
Now if my looks could kill, I would easily be classed as most wanted. I glared at her, not giving an inch. In my mind this was a contest of glares, and I was a monster right here.
ôI forgot to say the destination when I jumped in the floo.ö I spoke in the same tone she used. Superior. The I-am-much-better-than-you tone. I think I might have done it better than her too. She looked shocked. Oh wait, nope never mind. Just angry.
ôYou are in the floo office of Britain,ö She says. No shit, old woman. Got any other bright deductions? ôWhere were you intending to go?ö She is sneering, I just know it. She is hiding that sneer and inside she is probably making fun of me.
Or I have problems. Either way I start getting mad. When I get mad, which is quite often ûDid you know dark lords get mad a lot? ItÆs practically in the job description û Anyways when I get mad, I turn mean and snarky.
ôI was intending to go to Knockturn Alley, grandma.ö I say, smirking at the hurt look in her eyes. Wait what? Hurtà? Shit. Maybe I was wrong about her trying to mock meà That makes me feel like a jerk. But then again, anyone who lets words get to them deserves to be hurt. Weak is what it is. I look again, wait a minuteà ThatÆs not hurt, thatÆs outrage.
I never let words affect me. I never let insults or slights on my ego affect me the slightest bit. At least thatÆs what I try to be like. I wave it off when I overhear someone commenting on how much better my sister is than me, (though I remember their names), or when people ignore me in favour of my famous sister.
Sibling jealousy. IÆm not really jealous, I think. Okay maybe a little, but who wouldnÆt be?
ôSo can I go to Knockturn Alley? Do you have floo powder?ö I say, a bit impatiently.
She huffs, ôThat will be three sickles.ö I furiously shove my hand in my pocket, and hand her the money. In return I get a bit of floo powder. I feel ripped off, the woman obviously cheated me.
ôWhatÆs your name?ö I ask, ever so polite. My words practically ooze with honey. I blink widely and try my best to act cute.
I fail. Miserably. But I know this, I know how it looks like I am up to something when I do the look.
ôDolores Umbridge.ö She gives me a glare, ôGet out of here you troublemaker.ö Under her breath I bet she is whispering how much she wants me killed. Why did I think someone like her could have her feelings hurt? Pssh. Stupid conscience. IÆve heard of her, the meanest, most prejudiced bitch around. Always sticking her nose in everything.
Mostly Remus goes on about it, how she is taking away the little rights that the werewolves have. ThatÆs too bad, I like Remus. Nobody messes with my beef jerky guy!
This woman obviously has connections. I smile widely, knowing that my fox-like smile disturbs people. Slowly, very slowly, I take out a pad from my back pocket. I open it to an empty page right in front of her view. I do this so slowly she is bound to get curious. Snatching a quill from her desk I write on top:
People to Kill, Maim and Torture
Dolores Umbridge
She jerks her head back and stares at me strangely. No doubt thinking, ôWhat the fuck?!ö I give a vicious smirk. My smirks are like this: I curl my top lip, twitch my nose upwards, and think of the most disgusting thing I can. (People fawning over Emmy) This will give her the nightmares! Turning around, I throw the floo powder in the fireplace and shout, ôKnockturn Alley.ö
Heheheh.
IÆm not supposed to go there. Nope, it was Diagon Alley I was supposed to go for my shopping but who cares. I wonder if I can steal some dark objects. That will get me started on my path to dark lordishness.
I land on my feet this time, though just barely. Looking around, I see that I am in a shop. What can I say about this shop? It was dark and gloomy, like a vampire hideout. There were shelves all around the room arranged in an unorganized manner. Strange objects were on the shelf. Things like crystal balls, orbs of various colours, pendants and necklaces, rings, books, jewelleryà
I look around. Nobody is here! NowÆs my chance. I snap out my wand, conjure a bag that is small on the outside, but as big as this shop on the inside. It was a very difficult spell to master, mastered just for an occasion like this: A place full of nifty things with nobody around.
ôAccio!ö I wave my wand around the room. Instantly, every single object on the shelves jerk and fly straight into my bag. The store had been looted in seconds.
I make my way to the glass door, the exit. Someone comes into the room behind me, I can hear an him shouting at me. I turn around, firing off a jelly legs jinx. He shields it easily, and waves at the door.
My eyes widen. The door is covered by iron bolts. I am trapped.
ôShit,ö I curse. The bag is in my hand. Quickly I shove it into my pocket, and cast a blur charm on my face.
ôWho are you?ö The man says cautiously, wand ready and aiming at my heart.
I say nothing, just observe him carefully. The way he carries himself, on the edge of his feet, right arm holding wand aimed straight at me, left arm out in frontà He is an experienced dueller. I can see that.
No way out. But I am not a charms genius for nothing, if I do say so myself. I am only eleven, but I have mastered practically every charm I have ever come across. I know hundreds of charms, to cook, clean, do my laundry, powerful charms to change the weatherà I know so many charms, yet my mind freezes and comes to a blank.
The dueller breaks the silence with a wordless black curse. I jump, it races past my ear and hits a shelf. The shelf explodes in a shower of slivers and sparks. Brandishing my wand, I jab it in his direction.
I summon arrows that fly straight towards him. He shouts a Latin incantation that I donÆt recognize, the arrows blow up in flames. Geez, pyromaniacà
ôLet me go!ö I say, while casting a wordless shield to block from a nasty looking yellow colored jinx.
ôGive me back my stuff!ö He roars, before going all out. He starts shooting every curse, jinx, hex, and spell he can think of at me. Most of them are dark magic, I recognize it by itÆs feel. I dodge most of them, and use shields for the most part. I am trying to save my energy for an all out surprise attackà. At the door.
You know the blue shield I love to cast against my sister? The one my mother invented?
ItÆs incantation is ôAlamorus Rex.ö It uses a torrent of power, but once up it never goes down until the owner chooses to dissipate it. The shield forms a sort of mental connection with you. ItÆs hard to explain, but itÆs really cool. Only the toughest of spells can break through.
ItÆs my trump card, my last resort.
The only problem is it tires you out. A lot. I just used it barely a few hours ago against the mock duel with my sister. I was pretty tired, but I felt I could do this once again.
I wave my wand in a square shape, the square shape appears, four shining lines of blue. The man looks strangely at me, I smirk. Good thing my blur charm is up on my face. I donÆt want him to recognize me after all. ôSorry.ö I say. Then I jab my wand in the center of the square. Blue light fills the square as it expands in front of me, like a thick wall. It expands so slowlyà
The manÆs eyes widen in anger. ôYou fucking bastard!ö He cries, once again on the offensive. Every spell he tries against me hits the blue shield wall, dissipating some and bouncing others off.
ôBye old man!ö I shout, before turning towards the door. ôReducto!ö I cry, a red light shoots off my wand and makes a puny hole. Damn, I must be really low on my stamina right now. But itÆs enough to crawl out of.
The street is practically deserted, but there are mean looking wizards and hags hiding in the allies.
I run in the direction of Gringotts, the bag (I cast a charm to make it light of course) in my pocket, full of treasures. I didnÆt look back once. When I reached the end of Knockturn Alley, I dissipated the shield.
I donÆt think a store has ever been robbed before. IÆve never heard of it happen, ever actually. Well, I just gave the media front page headlines right?
Who knew I would be right? I swear I have some divination blood in me.
Chapter Four - Shopping, yuck!
I made my way over to Gringotts, where I guessed my sister and her entourage were going to be. The street was crowded, filled with students who were just like us - Procrastinators. When I saw Gringotts, I almost sweat dropped. Well I can't actually, but I am an avid reader and I heard that's what they do in manga and anime. There was a huge dollar sign made in shiny gold placed in front of the building. It was huge. Like a mile tall and a mile wide.
Yes, I get the message. Gringotts is rich as fuck. I should rob it. I jingled my pocket, the enchanted bag full of merchandise illegally begotten still there. I grinned meanly, the shopkeeper must be having a heart attack. Serves him right, trying to use dark arts. Don't people know that dark arts corrupt worse than free unlimited internet access? Sheesh.
I enter the building, paying no attention to the poem. I mean who would? The basic message if the curious want to know was, you rob me I kill you. Goblins sure are civilized. My kind of people.
The carpets are plush red, curtains hang on the walls, triangular windows with gold dollar signs stood out particularly. I swear they take after Disney's Scrooge McDuck.
"Hey!" I called out when I saw Remus, his girlfriend, and my annoying sister. "Where were you guys?" Yea make them feel guilty. Am I a genius or what?
"We were waiting for you." Emmy said, a frown on her face, lips wrinkled in disgust. Pah, I say. Pah! I don't need their disgust. No really, I don't.
I shrugged, "Well anyways let's get some gold and get outta here."
"There's a line." Remus told me succintly. "Line means wait."
I rolled my eyes, "Says you. I'm gonna go look around. I'll be at Olivanders."
The wand shop. The one with the creepy guy who has a super memory. The man who would teach me how to get that super memory. Yes, it was Olivanders.
I skipped down the street to the old wand shop. It even had a sign! 'Ye olde wand shope.' Wonderful. I openned the door, the bells jingled merrily as it announced my presence. Bastards.
"Hey Olivander!" I called. "You in here?"
The shop was deserted. There was a counter, and lots and lots and lots and lots of shelves. The whole place looked like a mess: boxes filled with wands everywhere. I still don't understand how Olivanders has a perfect memory... You wanna know his secret? Organization. Hypocrite.
"Ah, Harry Potter. Is that you?" The old man called out in his creepy high baritone. He was dressed in pale brown robes, a little goatee hung off his chin no doubt thinking it made him look cool (it kinda did), he had a wizarding hat and little specs that made him look like a mad scientist. Wonderful.
"Yeah it's me old man. So what have you been up to?" I asked, "Made any interesting wands?"
The man shook his head. "Life is pretty stable around here. I retired from collection wand materials a long time ago, boy. Now I just build wands."
I nodded. "So..."
The old man sighed. "I know you want something, Harry. You never come here if you don't want something."
I scowled and crossed my arms over my chest. "You told me last time I was in here that you were going to tell me the secret to having a perfect memory like you!"
The old man nodded. "Okay fine." He grumbled and fiddled around in his big pocket over the stomach of the robe. "Here." He said snatching out a slim handwritten notebook. "All my secrets. Go on, take a look. But give it back when you're done."
I smiled innocently and walked out the door. I heard Olivanders sigh behind me as he muttered, "Knew the brat was going to do that."
Maybe my slow as a mule escorts are done with getting gold out of the greedy goblins' fingers. Yay! I examine the binding of the thin notebook, approximately fifty pages I guessed. The covers were black leather, it was meant to be a personal diary of sorts. Olivander's diary? Convenient.
This must be valuable. I decided righ then and there to send it back to him after I was done with it. Which would be never.
I flipped open the notebook, a small white card falls out. 'To Harry - Happy Birthday. -Olivanders.' I smiled, the old man sure was nice. He remembered today was my birthday!
I shoved the card in my pockets, the smae one with the bag, and started reading. The first page was a cover. It was empty except for an untidy scrawl in the middle that said, 'Olivanders - Mind techniques journal.' I was getting excited. This must be worth it's weight in gold! Let's see, it wieghed less then a feather, so it must be worth about... pah.
Next page. Same untidy scrawl. There was a title, 'Speed reading.' I flip some more pages, all about speed reading. It would come in handy once I get to Hogwarts, I supposed. The next chapter said, 'Memory tricks.' Tricks eh? That's Olivander's secret. I thought it was something like this. The next chapter's heading was, 'Occlumency and Legilimency.' Never heard of it. Interesting. That was pretty much all the book was about. That's why it was slim you see.
"Hey Harry!" I heard the whiny voice of Emmy's. "Get over here."
"In a sec." I hastily shoved the book in my pocket and ran over to my escorts... on the other side of the street.
The rest of the day passed in boredom... we bought robes, school books, a trunk, potion ingrediants, and more stuff. I was looking forward to going home and opening the pack of goodies I acquired. I couldn't wait! We took the floo again, I thought I could see the old hag's face in the fire scowling at me. I shrugged my shoulders and fell to the floor of the living room in a heap. Emmy landed gracefully next to me, on her two feet. Remus and his girlfriend followed.
AN: Waddaya think?
