Dark General

[Shaderic]

I had this idea in the 'How would' you handle it thread...
Here's the teaser.
_________________________
ôAll the worldÆs a stage, and all the man and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances: And one man in his time plays many roles.ö

As I stand here, with my foe before me, this sticks out in mind.

I cannot help but think, if I had answered that fateful question differently, it would be me on the others side of a blade, rather than him on the other end of a gun.

The circumstances leading up to this confrontation would have been different, but it would have happened nonetheless. Like had Romeo been a Capulet, and Juliet a Montague, almost nothing would have changed.

Even as I think, all that really happened were that the names on the script were swapped around, the props switched, and the lines occasionally changed,. The play is still the same.

I wonder, for all my hardship, if I have changed anything at allà And yetà

I donÆt regret it.

Regardless of what might have happened, I chose the path before me of my own free will.

I knew I would be forced to follow a certain path, but I chose to walk it.

For all that I stand adorned in shadow, and he shrouded in lightà

I do not stand in the valley of evil.

_____________________________________________________
Okay, so this is based on the idea of 'If you were made a Dark General.

Here's my quote explaining the idea of the story I want to tell, from the thread...

Sorry to bring this up, but I've been thinking about the 'An Evil General is You' idea...

Anyway, I think I could cook up an interesting story out of that. But, I don't think I could really put it anywhere, in the regular sections, since it doesn't really fall under anything specificaly, when it comes to FF. I've been working on cooking up a basic AU for it, based on Earth... sort of.

What I've got so far, is Joe Average (Place holder name, of course) suddenly being contacted by an other dimensional Force of DarknessÖ, and being made their residential Lord in charge of conquering Earth. They grant him the powers of the shadows...

And he says no. Very emphaticaly, actually.

Unfortunately, that's when the Forces of LightÖ show up. They see that Darkness has chosen a Lord to conquer the world, but don't know he said 'No'. They reveal the identity of the 'Dark One' to the world, using magic (Gigantic hologram depicting Joe's image and declaring him the representative of Evil), and go to choose 'Heroes of Light' to stop the Darkness.

Well, the FoD... have never had anyone say no to them, before. On the other hand, LoL has just revealed their guy to the world, and set Heroes on Joe. So, they decide to let Joe keep his powers. Light's gunnin' for him, afterall. Besides, they're betting he'll probably change his mind later. That, and they don't like Light much, so if he beats up those Heros... well, it'll be fun.

Fall out from this, is kinda big, but mostly ignored. Sure, the WORLD has seen Joe declared a Lord of Evil, and there's certainly a few cults after him for one reason or another, but, on the whole? The world goes on. Well, sort of. The paparazzi's having a field day, there's people out to kill him... Yeah, normal. Riiiight.

Anyway, is there a section I could post this?
I know we don't quite do Original stuff here, but this isn't quite straight normal.

It's sort of like a magical girl type-thing... Except, backwards. We're seeing the 'Villains' point of view.

And, I could do with some suggestions for this. Abilities, encounters, ideas... that sort of thing. I mean, I've got a few...

Joe's starting skill set is pretty small, and basicaly amounts to Barrier, Shadowport, and Conjure Fiend.

Now, for some interesting stuff I'd like seen... Well, Joe calling 9-11 since he's 'Being attacked by a Psycho' would be amusing. He'll just have to leave out the bit where he's being attacked 'In the name of Love and Justice!'.

Filing a restraining order, putting up with the insanity of being decried internationally as a Lord of Evil, doing a TV interview or two to STOP people from thinking he's the devil incarnate...

The more I think about this, the more I think it could never get published as a 'real' book, but I really want to write it now.

Anyway, since I kinda sorta like TFF, I figured I'd start posting it here... presumably, if it doesn't get me in trouble. I couldn't get this idea published since it plays to anime stuff a bit much to really be mainstream, even if it's technicaly and original story. It's still based on the 'Magical Girl' genre, and people just aren't that intimate with it. Well, in japan maybe, but not where I live.

I've got the beginning sorta ironed out, as well the ending, but some of the middle evades. This story will start out pretty light, but you can count on it getting rather dark, later.

It's also meant to be a bit of a subversion of the whole magical girl genre, and the whole 'Light=good, Dark-evil' thing. I know that's not too original, but still.

I need to iron out some details, and pick some god-damn names but I'm a ways into the first chapter already.

So, yeah...

Ideas, suggestions, comments... You know the drill.

 

[Shaderic]

I'm messing with an odd writing style, right now. I'm still not exactly sure what I want the main char to be like, so experimenting is the order of the day. One of the underlying themes I intend to putz with, are plays and stories. I've been reading some Shakespeare too, looking for inspiration, and I'm afraid that might've bled into this guys character a bit too much...

_______________________________________________________
Five AM.

An accursed hour. No one is about, and the light of the moon is more prevalent then the light of the sun.

It has more in common with the night, than the morning. And yet, here I am, almost literally stumbling out of bed, hands reaching for that oh so annoying alarm.

For the hundredth time, I wondered if getting up that early was really worth it, even as I turned off the racketing clock, and began to feel for the light switch. Given a choice, I would rather be sleeping, but I move in the now too bright light to my chest.

Hands slowly search the drawers for an old t-shirt and shorts. I keep my socks on my closet shelf, rather than have them fill my dresser.

A moment later, I stand clothed, if not ready to face the world. Moving quietly to my computer, a password is entered, and I am soon working on a paper.

I still have some time, before I must go, and this essay wonÆt type itself.

I briefly recalled the words of my teacher from Senior English: ôOnce you get down to it, any English paper, once you get past all the grammar and spelling, is practice in the great and fine art of B.S.ö

As I type away, the sound of tic-tacking filling the room, connecting the very geography of the Great Gatsby into metaphor, I reflect on how true this is.

It is quite unlikely that Fitzgerald had any such thoughts in mind when he wrote the book. I wondered absentmindedly, as one side of the bay became associated with old money, how many writers intended the metaphors that we write these papers on.

But, soon, it is 5:30. The moon shines brightly through my window, casting a white light on my bed, as I turn out the light and head down the stairs.

When my hand clutched the I-Pod on the downstairs table, the sounds of dogs barking loudly filled the house, audible from even behind the door in my house-mates room, and down stairs. What I couldnÆt hear, but suspected to be happening in every room with a person in it attempting to sleep at this awful hour, were the angry moans at being roused from a rather sound slumber.

Quickly and quietly, I vacated the premises, and began the long run to the local community center, evading any possible wrath for having awoken JasonÆs beasts.
_______________________________________________________

I'm worried that I'm setting the tone a bit too stiff here. And, especialy since these are supposed to be this guy's thoughts, it's probably waaay to flowery and neat, especialy since he's supposed to be a genre savvy anime fan.

But, I'm still trying to establish the character. The best story is based around characters, not characters around a story. I've got no real idea on who I want Joe here to be. I still don't even have a name for him. :headbanger:

So, yeah. Ideas for a name would be nice, as well as character-trait suggestions.

Here's the list of the Main's qualities that I need/have plotted for...
Anime-fan
College Student
Intelligent
Relatively Honest
Quiet

And that's it. I wanted to write him as a snarker, but I'm not good enough at snark for that. So, yeah... help me find this guy, so I can find his voice, please...

 

[GenocideHeart]

I had a similar concept for an original setting I wrote a very, very long time ago. Although it was high fantasy.

Basically, take the token 'evil empire'... except the empire isn't evil at all, it's just their actions are perceived as such by the so-called 'heroes'. Namely, the whole human sacrifice every month thing they have going.

Of course, the misguided heroes don't know said sacrifice is fully voluntary - and powers a seal that keeps the gate to another dimension full of eldritch abominations shut.

The heroes found out only AFTER they ruined the 'evil' empress's shit... even though almost everyone they met in their travels repeatedly warned them that what they were doing was going to end badly for all involved.

I never really fleshed out that world, but I'm thinking of going back to it, because I liked the concept. Reclusive, apparently evil empire that in truth is the key to the world's salvation, and the heroes doing a thorough job at breaking it. Talk about a punch in the face.

 

[David Alan Abramczyk]

Mind if I create a possible "Joe Average" for you, Shaderic?

 

[Shaderic]

Go ahead. I'm here, because I'm asking for help.

Now that I look at it again...I was right. 'Joe's speech is way to flowery. It's nice and all, and it was interesting to write, but I'm not quite sure anyone actually thinks like this.

 

[David Alan Abramczyk]

Okay. Here's a possible variation for your consideration:

23-year old Mark Fuller is not someone you'd expect to be at the centre of an international crisis such as this. A scholarship student studying for an economics degree at a prestigious University, he's pretty much an average young man; he goes out drinking, in moderation, with his friends every other Saturday night, owns an old second-hand car (a Volvo, for the record), and worries about finding a good job after he graduates. The main thing that seperates him from most is that he absolutely adores Japanese Manga and Anime; particularly the classics like Astroboy, Oh My Goddess! and Urusei Yatsura.

But all that changed a week ago, when he was invited to a party with his friends, and met a strange woman. Now his world has been turned upside down....

And if you want to play with preconceptions even further, you could make him South African, or Australian, or some other English-speaking nationality; because everyone would be expecting him to be some big, brash American.

 

[cilrais]

I think I've read a couple "regular guy ends up as dark general" type stories in the past, no clue on titles or authors though.

Do remember http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD6gTrvuG0M which owns

 

[Shaderic]

@Cilrais
... What the fuck?

@David
Thanks. I'm planning on sticking with 'American' though, if only because I know I can't write any other nationality correctly, save perhaps canadian. I've met some people from other english speaking places (my aunt has a Australian exchange student, and I met quite a few people in college and highschool. I just didn't get to know them that well) and I know there's enough nuances in how they think differently to screw me up big time.

Anyway, Mark is just about perfect for what I had in mind. Barring his taste in anime, a little. Seriously, Urusei Yatsura? Astro Boy? A little out there . OMG! is a good choice though.

Of course, there's a reason I was having him out and about that early. I was trying for one of those hidden metaphors that I was talking about earlier. In the darkness that's technicaly morning...

Of course, what the Emisary of Darkness (who's real name is Ibobo Velka Hanta (Earth Alias: Bob Hunter)) is doing going around getting drunk while she's supposed looking for the Dark Spark is a good question, too...

Time to see if I can find this guy's voice.

Five AM.

I hate Five AM . ItÆs empty, and way too quiet for my taste. Not to mention how dark it is.

It has more in common with the night, than the morning. And yet, here I am, almost literally stumbling out of bed, hands reaching for that oh so annoying alarm.

For the hundredth time, I wondered if getting up that early was really worth it, even as I turned off the racketing clock, and began to feel for the light switch. Given a choice, I would rather be sleeping, but I moved in the now too bright light to my dresser.

Hands slowly search the drawers for an old t-shirt and shorts. I keep my socks on my closet shelf, rather than have them fill my dresser. Socks always end up taking way too much space anyway, and this way, theyÆre easier to find.

A moment later, I was dressed, if not ready to face the world. Moving quietly to my computer, a I keyed in my password is entered, and went to work on my paper.

I still have some time, before I go, and this essay wonÆt type itself.

I thought about the words of my teacher from Senior English class: ôOnce you get down to it, any English paper, once you get past all the grammar and spelling, is practice in the great and fine art of B.S.ö

As I type away, the sound of tic-tacking filling the room, connecting the very geography of the Great Gatsby into metaphor, I reflect on how true this is.

I really donÆt think that Fitzgerald had any ideas like this in mind when he wrote the book. I wondered absentmindedly, as one side of the bay became associated with old money, how many writers intended the metaphors that we write these papers on.

Pretty quick, itÆs 5:30. The moon shines brightly through my window, casting a white light on my bed, as I turn out the light and head down the stairs.

When my hand clutched the I-Pod on the downstairs table, the dogs managed to magically rouse themselves, and, audible from even behind the door in my house-mates room, and down stairs, made it perfectly clear that they wanted to go play. What I couldnÆt hear, but suspected to be happening in every room with a person in it trying to sleep at this god-awful hour, were the angry moans at being woken up from a rather sound sleep.

Quickly and quietly, I vacated the premises, and began the long run to the campus fitness center, evading any possible wrath for having awoken JasonÆs dogs, at least until I got back.

So, does this seem to flow better, or what?

 

[Tornado Ninja Fan]

If this thing has been going on for a while, then there could be some kind of other participants from the other dimension(s).

Other dark generals visiting to give hints or mock Joe, dark lieutenants looking for a better boss, dark princesses looking for a prospective husband/figurehead, dark minions of every kind. (like the various things from "Dungeon Keeper")

Maybe some people like the Watchers from Marvel comics "What if..." only snarkier. (Watchers Waldorf and Statler?)

Maybe even some other schmuck from another dimension who decided not to become the hero and still had to do the job. Or an idiot hero (Futurama's Zapp Brannigan) from another dimension who mistook the hero and villain and tries to give him tips how to use the light powers which means Joe learns about the weaknesses of those powers.

Then there are the reactions of his friends, who ask for cushy jobs in the new evil empire (one of his quieter girlfriends asks if she could take over the dungeons). They could even ask for normal jobs, because of the economy.

(Can he share the power with his underlings or give them some weaker "grey" power?)

And his family. Maybe they knew about the prophecy but forgot to tell him. "What did we do wrong raising the boy - somebody offers him ultimate power and he declines!"

His sister, the little pre-teen princess of evil who is convinced she could to a better job then her stupid older brother and uses her evil minions (her friends from school) to find and steal the source of his powers.

 

[Shaderic]

Interesting prospects...

But, Mark was picked pretty much randomly. He thought Bob was offering him some kind of drug, not making him a Dark General. So, no prophecy.

He can't 'share' his power, because it's derived from a probationary contract with the FoD. The terms run something like 'So long as he fights FoL, we give him power.'

Something interesting for you all to think about...

1. Every human has the capacity to form a contract with the FoL, or the FoD.

2. While the FoD are expansionist minded, there's a very good reason for it.

3. It's for this same reason, that the FoL have five 'Heroes' and the FoD have one 'General', on Earth.

 

[David Alan Abramczyk]

Anyway, Mark is just about perfect for what I had in mind. Barring his taste in anime, a little. Seriously, Urusei Yatsura? Astro Boy? A little out there . OMG! is a good choice though.

To be honest, I just pulled names out of the air; I didn't want anything too obvious, or to invest him in a genre that you might not care for.

 

[Shaderic]

I see.

Anyway, I've decided to chuck out the 'Drunk druggie' intro for Bob. It just doesn't fit her.

 

[Mercsenary]

I think I've read a couple "regular guy ends up as dark general" type stories in the past, no clue on titles or authors though.

Do remember http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD6gTrvuG0M which owns

You sir. Win.


Edit: Random scene.

*elaborate plan to destory the world on the wall*

Joe looking at it.

Minions about to put in motion

Forces of darkness grinning in glee as the world is about to be destroyed.

"Nah... that'll never work."

*takes the plan and burns it with a lighter*


XD