[FMP] Tactical Retreat
- Thread starter Lord Raa
- Start date
Tactical Retreat
Right, mentioned thing on the other forum, but 'non-com' is possibly the worst term to use in this context, since its a term for someone with a lot of military experience (a Non-Commissioned Officer, like a Sergeant), and you're using it as a term for someone with none. Saying 'civilian' would work better, and not annoy military personnel and pedantic military otaku.
EDIT: The story itself is a good start, though.
Right, mentioned thing on the other forum, but 'non-com' is possibly the worst term to use in this context, since its a term for someone with a lot of military experience (a Non-Commissioned Officer, like a Sergeant), and you're using it as a term for someone with none. Saying 'civilian' would work better, and not annoy military personnel and pedantic military otaku.
EDIT: The story itself is a good start, though.
Tactical Retreat
I'm using "non-com" in the context of "non-combatant", for example a medic or reporter.
The short-hand term for someone like Sousuke and Mao is "NCO". At least, that's how I recall things.
I may change things, especially if someone who happens to have a recent military background can provide me with the correct terminology.
I'm using "non-com" in the context of "non-combatant", for example a medic or reporter.
The short-hand term for someone like Sousuke and Mao is "NCO". At least, that's how I recall things.
I may change things, especially if someone who happens to have a recent military background can provide me with the correct terminology.
Tactical Retreat
I don't have the military background, but a quick search returns non-com used in reference to NCO positions (American usage) and a dictionary definition of noncom, no hyphen, also referring to NCO's. Neither source is the most reliable (Wikipedia and TheFreeDictionary respectively) but they are in agreement with each other and what I remember hearing elsewhere.
Didn't see any reference to non-combatant in the search.
Perhaps your usage is from a different military setting, but as I recall, the flavor of Mithril seems pretty close to US military.
Perhaps finishing the word 'non-combatant' would be less ambiguous, though this can refer to non-combat military personnel as well as civilians. As I think you're aiming for highlighting the cultural disconnect between military and civilian outlooks where it is used in your story, 'civilian' might be most appropriate.
I don't have the military background, but a quick search returns non-com used in reference to NCO positions (American usage) and a dictionary definition of noncom, no hyphen, also referring to NCO's. Neither source is the most reliable (Wikipedia and TheFreeDictionary respectively) but they are in agreement with each other and what I remember hearing elsewhere.
Didn't see any reference to non-combatant in the search.
Perhaps your usage is from a different military setting, but as I recall, the flavor of Mithril seems pretty close to US military.
Perhaps finishing the word 'non-combatant' would be less ambiguous, though this can refer to non-combat military personnel as well as civilians. As I think you're aiming for highlighting the cultural disconnect between military and civilian outlooks where it is used in your story, 'civilian' might be most appropriate.
Tactical Retreat
I will say this: I like a lot of your works and I generally don't find anything wrong them...So to avoid posting the same useless crap over and over (at least until I find something that I dislike and/or can poke at), I'll say this just once:
I'm already enjoying this story and I want to see more.
I will say this: I like a lot of your works and I generally don't find anything wrong them...So to avoid posting the same useless crap over and over (at least until I find something that I dislike and/or can poke at), I'll say this just once:
I'm already enjoying this story and I want to see more.
Tactical Retreat
Sousuke Sagara is emotionally closed off (a form of scaring) due to him losing almost everyone he's ever cared about in war. He lost all of his friends and comrades in his Helmajistan guerrilla group before he joined Mithril and was later sent to Jindai. Kalinin, the person he is closest to in Mithril, is probably responsible for some of those deaths as they fought against each other in the war. At age 3 he was found by Kalinin after a plane crash and put into a Russian orphanage. At age 5 he was taken into a KGB child assassin program and sent to kill an Afghan warlord at age 8.
Sousuke is distant from both Mao and Kurtz (any friendship overtures are always started by them, and not necessarily returned). He has been betrayed by friends as well, such as Zaied.
After his Helmajistan group got destroyed, Sousuke worked as a mercenary in the Middle East and possibly other Third World war zones until he was picked up by Mithril. Given that he started fighting in Helmajistan at age eight and is roughly Kaname's age, that means all his formative years, from 8 to 16/17, were spent fighting and seeing and being responsible for human deaths.
And Sousuke is incapable of recognizing the romantic interest directed toward him by Kaname and Tessa since he has never received any affection beyond a friendship level.
Sousuke Sagara is emotionally closed off (a form of scaring) due to him losing almost everyone he's ever cared about in war. He lost all of his friends and comrades in his Helmajistan guerrilla group before he joined Mithril and was later sent to Jindai. Kalinin, the person he is closest to in Mithril, is probably responsible for some of those deaths as they fought against each other in the war. At age 3 he was found by Kalinin after a plane crash and put into a Russian orphanage. At age 5 he was taken into a KGB child assassin program and sent to kill an Afghan warlord at age 8.
Sousuke is distant from both Mao and Kurtz (any friendship overtures are always started by them, and not necessarily returned). He has been betrayed by friends as well, such as Zaied.
After his Helmajistan group got destroyed, Sousuke worked as a mercenary in the Middle East and possibly other Third World war zones until he was picked up by Mithril. Given that he started fighting in Helmajistan at age eight and is roughly Kaname's age, that means all his formative years, from 8 to 16/17, were spent fighting and seeing and being responsible for human deaths.
And Sousuke is incapable of recognizing the romantic interest directed toward him by Kaname and Tessa since he has never received any affection beyond a friendship level.