Akamatsuverse I don't know

[SMWhat]

It's really hard to write fanfiction when you continuously cycle through depression and glee and depression and glee and depression. You try to write something funny, and all of a sudden you stop and go "Jesus, how did this get so depressing?"

Or vice versa.

Anyway.






You had words with him
And your future's looking dim

--"It's All in the Game", composed by Charles Dawes and written by Carl Sigman

===

"If I remember...you're at Tokyo U now, right?"

Keitaro looked up at his aunt's face. The punches he had received were still making his head ring, and he felt lightheaded and confused. His brain seemed to be crawling through something thick. What was she saying...?

Keitaro could have stood there another moment with his mouth hanging open, the gears in his mind turning, working to process information.

He blinked.

"No...I'm not." he mumbled audibly and sheepishly, lowering his head and pulling uncomfortably at the handle of his bookbag. "I've failed the test." A pause "Twice."

The girl with the long, brown hair--what was her name? Keitaro watched her out of the corner of his eye as she nodded wisely. "See? A pervert and a ronin. You can't honestly expect someone like him to stay here!"

Nods and murmurs of agreement filled the small room.

Keitaro looked back up at his aunt's face. She smiled at him sadly--glared at him? Keitaro blinked his eyelids shut, then look again. No, there was only a half-sad smile on her face. "I'm sure we could come to some sort of agreement, couldn't we? Perhaps you could study in the..." She trailed off as she watched Keitaro rise from where he had been sitting on the couch, shaking his head.

He'd almost barked out an eager "yes-thank-you" at Haruka's offer, but as he'd looked around at the other, legitimate tenants, and their faces filled with disgust and loathing...

He'd bitten the tip of his tongue before it could betray him. "No...it..." Why was everything going so wrong? "...I really don't think a...here..." He swallowed nervously. "I really don't think this would be the best place for me to stay." He affixed upon his face a smile that he hoped seemed genuine. "I'll just let myself out, alright?"

He didn't wait for an answer.

It was only when he had shut the first door behind him that he realized that he still had no money and no place to live. He paused, mid-step, an expression of horror playing across his face. "...Oh." The sky was a clear blue, the few clouds he could see low near the horizon. "Oh." he said again, as if repeating the word would allow him to repeat and redo his actions.

He considered for a moment going back inside and asking his aunt for money, but shook off the idea. "It would just be..." The word "wrong" rose in his mind, but it didn't fit, somehow. It wasn't until he reached the bottom of the steps leading to the Hinata House that he was able to think of a replacement.

"...awkward."

He sighed. Now what? Now what? Now what? His stared at nothing as his feet took him back to the train station he hadn't any money to ride on.

It didn't matter, anyway. Even as he realized he was being pulled yet again into a spiral of depression, he followed the familiar diatribe. It didn't matter. He wasn't going to find a place to stay. He was going to starve to death on the streets (here he ignored the fact that his aunt would forcibly take him in if it got that bad), and they'd find his body, but they'd only find his body because there'd be complaining of the stench it was making, and after they found his body they would shake their heads and say something about how sad it was--

Speech tugged at the edges of his ears as he stared straight ahead across the dusty street.

How sad it was--they'd say--that he died so young, since he had promise, didn't he? And they'd one of them would say (a short red-haired pipsqueak of a police officer, twirling his cap in his hands) that it was alright, he wasn't contributing anything anyway, was he? It was just a ronin--

Something was making a sound. The sky was so bright, and the temperature suddenly seemed to increase steadily until he could feel the sweat forming on his brow.

Just a ronin, anyway, right? "Ah, yes, that's true," the older, white-haired officer would say, nodding his little nod, and then they would turn and walk back into the station--

"Excuse me."

Hands tucked into trenchcoats, ready to take on the next case--

"Excuse me?"

The next mysterious murder would surely be more exciting than something small like--

"Excuse me!"

Keitaro's eyes rapidly readjusted, losing their glazed appearance and focusing on the object that was in front of them. His thoughts still of dead ronins and investigations, he blinked and saw--

"Sir, are you alright?"

Keitaro tensed and took a quick step backwards. "What?"

"Are you okay?" asked the girl. She was gesturing at his face with a small fan held in her left hand.
"You looked like you zoned out there."

He felt his face flush red. "Er...yeah. I'm alright. Thanks."

There was an uneasy silence.

Thie girl gestured with the fan again, this time past Keitaro's head, behind him. "Er, you're blocking the door..." she pointed out quietly.

Keitaro turned around. Now that he realized where he was, he could see that he was, in fact, standing in the doorway of one of the buildings in the village. It was a wooden, average-looking structure, easily lost among the others on the road--but this wasn't the time to think of alike things. Red-faced, Keitaro moved out of the girl's way, to the side of the doorway, mumbling apologies as she disappeared into it.

"Great going, Keitaro..." The ronin moaned to himself. "Could this day get any worse? You've got no money, grandmother isn't here, and all those misunderstandings with those girls..." His shoulders slumped. "How was I supposed to know...and now I'm broke and homeless. What now?"

And so, seeing no other option, Keitaro sighed, pulled the strap of his bookbag securely to the base of his neck, and began to totter off aimlessly.

 

[skinkfem]

seems like a good start to me, ive always wondered what would have happened if it wasnt for that little mistake in the begining

 

[Mighty Bob]

Interesting start, though it doesn't really hint where you're going. Are you planning to start whipping out OCs or crossing over/fusing with other anime and manga, or will Keitaro perhaps run into other LH characters earlier and under different circumstances?

Look forward to the next snip you might post, if only to find out what direction this is ambling in.

 

[SMWhat]

I started this whole thing basically as an exercise in writing OCs, so yes, OCs will be appearing. I need to practice, you see.

And, at the very least, Kitsune is going to show up again.

 

[Mighty Bob]

That'll be interesting. I figure that the universe would be less overrun with Su's and Stu's, and OC's in general less hated if only more authors would practice using them. Granted, some people can write a perfectly acceptable and well fleshed out OC at the drop of a pin, but most people do a horrible job writing them and keeping them under control.

Any more snips or general outlines/profiles of the OC's your planning to use that you could gift us with?

 

[SMWhat]

Open your Love Hina manga. The first one. Start reading. See that girl behind Keitaro? The one with the fan when he's saying "Phew"? That's one.

Also, a "batty" old woman who may or may not be senile, and claims to have been around during the Edo period. Fond of telling stories with morals that don't make any sense.

 

[Dark Knight Gafgar]

Properly written OCs are a good thing. Most of my OCs are villains though...

 

[SimmyC]

There is never anything wrong with well written OCs. The problem most authors have with them is, well, they are almost 'never' well written. Hence, destroying the fic due to a badly written OC.

Like DKG, most of my OCs are villians. Few 'ally' characters I do have, well, fall into the category of Mary Sue/Gary Stu hell. In other words, not good. But if you can avoid that, you can have a well written story right there.

 

[EagleCeres]

hmm... the uncomfortable existence of hinata has been passed by, tho there is the chance that he'll get the fax from granny eventually; this change can be that Keitaro never really lived with and therefore cared to/for the Hina girls

It's a good experiment with changing who he interacts with and how his personality evolves. Maybe his clumsyness will lessen, maybe he'll be more manly sooner... heck maybe he'll never change.

Hope to see what you have in store for the ronin.

 

[SMWhat]

You are my every dream
But it's only make believe

--"It's Only Make Believe", written by Jack Nance and Conway Twitty

===

Sunlight filtered through the branches of the trees, illuminating spots on his face that danced with the wind. They flashed through his eyelids as they moved, sending signals to his consciousness. Keitaro held in his mind the fleeting image of a man on a far-off mountain, holding a small mirror.

He opened his eyes.

Total awareness did not come immediately. "Where, how, why?!" his brain howled as one hand moved automatically to brush a leaf off his forehead. Keitaro watched it tumble end over end until it hid itself among the other leaves that adorned the ground.

"Sitting on a park bench," he mumbled as memory reasserted itself. "I tried to find a place that would take me in for the night and failed. And because of--"

He flinched, remembering, and slowly brought his other hand up to feel at his face. The spot where he had been punched still hurt, but only if he pressed a bit on it first. It wasn't noticeable. It probably wasn't noticeable. He really hoped it wasn't noticeable.

"So." he said. "So."

He knew fully well what came after the "so"--namely, "what are you going to do now". He didn't want to complete the sentence, though. Perhaps if he didn't think about it at all, he wouldn't have to answer the question.

"Too late." Keitaro sang into the air. He giggled, high-pitched. It sounded harsh and not entirely sane in his ears. Luckily, nobody but him was around to hear it--he had the feeling that if there had been anybody, he'd soon have found himself on a one-way trip to the nearest asylum.

He giggled again. Being tired the morning after one wandered half the town looking for someplace to sleep felt curiously like being drunk. Not that he'd been drunk more than a few times, and most of those had been accidents or occasions he had been coerced into inebriation.

He rose, putting his weight on his feet. The joints in his knees and back popped and cracked noisily. What time was it? He glanced at his wristwatch and groaned. Too early. Well, it was pretty late, actually, but it was too early for him--he would've rather stayed asleep for another hour or two. An hour spent asleep was an hour spent not worrying about where he was going to get basic necessities now that he was homeless. An hour spent asleep was an hour in a dreamland...

Dreams...

His dreams had started out well, albeit entirely familiar. He'd been in the sandbox again, making that promise...

"Did you know that if two people who love each other go to Tokyo University, they'll live happily ever after?"

"Really?"

"When we grow up...let's go to Tokyo University together!"

And then a blur, as the figure of the small child had receded until she had been only a speck on the horizon.

"Remember, we've gotta meet at Tokyo U someday! Promise?"

"I promise!"

"Promise?"

"I promise!"

"Promise? Promise? Promise? You promise? You promise?!" Her voice had suddenly become different, less child-like, with a note of admonition in it. It rose into a piercing screech until it seemed to be the only thing in the world that existed, drowning out everything else with its volume. "You promised!! You promised!! You prom--!!"

Maybe, he conceded as he walked without a goal in mind, it had been a good thing that he had woken up at that point.

He suddenly stopped, his feet having taken him to a different section of the town, one he had somehow missed the night before. He hadn't paid any attention to his surroundings since he'd left the park, he realized. In fact, he didn't even remember leaving the park--only his standing up to do so. Keitaro groaned again as he realized--he was lost.

Well, that was just the icing on the cake--homeless and lost. All he needed to add to that list was "severely injured" and it'd become the worst day of his life, easy.

Shambling slowly forwards, he looked from side to side, seeking out a way to identify his location. To his left, a flash of red caught his eye, and he paused. His eyes focused on the characters there on the plate glass window.

"A restaurant..."

The lights were on inside, but there didn't seem to be any customers just yet--it was probably still too early in the day for anyone to come, not that Keitaro actually knew anything about lunch rushes and stuff like that. But maybe whoever was in charge of the place could let him use a phone or something to call...

Who could he call, then?

Maybe--even if he couldn't stay with his aunt--maybe she knew a place where he could stay?

But maybe she didn't, and in that case, who else could Keitaro call? Not--not his parents. When he'd left home, everyone, him included, had been so angry...and yes, Keitaro admitted, he was still angry at them. Couldn't they see that he had to go to Tokyo University?

And of course, maybe whoever owned the restaurant wouldn't let him use the phone at all. He hadn't any money for a pay phone, so if something like that happened, what could he do?

"That's the problem with me...I always think too far ahead. I react to my problems before they even exist."

Shaking his head in annoyance, he pushed the glass front door of the restaurant open, and entered the building.

 

[EagleCeres]

a bit sad... but he seems to be coping as best he can

hopefully his happy-go-lucky attitude will help him keep trudging on

i'm curious if he'll sumble upon any of the hina girls, in this different path of life

 

[SMWhat]

Naru is a sure, as he's probably going to go to cram school, right? I think she'll recognize her. That's it working, plain and simple.

Kitsune is a yes. Kitsune was the first yes I saw. Doesn't matter. It's Norm. She's Norm. Everyone's Norm, in their own sense, and we haven't any other's to use but ours.

Everyone else is pretty much a "hmn" at this point.

 

[PCHeintz72]

Naru is a sure, as he's probably going to go to cram school, right? I think she'll recognize her. That's it working, plain and simple.

Kitsune is a yes. Kitsune was the first yes I saw. Doesn't matter. It's Norm. She's Norm. Everyone's Norm, in their own sense, and we haven't any other's to use but ours.

Everyone else is pretty much a "hmn" at this point.

Hmmm... some various thoughts, take them for what you will.

Well, Before arriving at the Hina place in canon, he just ran into Shinobu.

As for Naru, in canon at least he did not recognize her since she did not have the same hairstyle, clothes, and glasses. That does not mean she could ot recognize him though.

Depending where he ends up, he could run into almost any of them either to/from school, or while they are out on errands.

Hinata area always seems to be described as a more rural area, that means less population than normal for japan, longer commutes, and a more rural area, he might well need to look farther for a job than normal, unless the resturante is the job.

 

[SMWhat]

What I meant to say was that she'll recognize HIM. That's what I meant. I think.

 

[Terdwilicker]

There's only one restaurant in Hinata. That's the Maehara place. So he meets Shinobu, dealing with her parents' angry divorce problems. A busboy? It has potential, if only short lived.

Authors should remember that Keitaro doesn't have to sleep with every girl he meets. Thus my insistence of keeping Kanako a sister rather than a breeder.

 

[SMWhat]

Eh? There's only one restaurant in Hinata? Not even "minor" sorts of stuff like sushi bars or such like that? Really?

 

[PCHeintz72]

Eh? There's only one restaurant in Hinata? Not even "minor" sorts of stuff like sushi bars or such like that? Really?

That can't be right. Hinata is small, but it never struck me as that small. Besides, I vaguely recall them going to a beef bowl, though I guess it could be argued that is not a true resturant.

Heck, even in the nowhere town my company's headquarters is in, with a population of 2,000, they have more than one resturant, or so I've been told. Though only one hotel.

Besides, he was wandering for some ways, who (other than the author) is to say he is even in Hinata still.

EDIT: I should note, Hinata itself is small and fictional, but lies in Kanagawa Prefecture, and that is *not* small. As a whole, that prefecture exceeds 8,000,000. Kamakura, which is also a district in Kanagawa (a real one), where Elfen Lied occurs, is some 175,000 people. That district has somewhat the same feel as Hinata.

 

[Terdwilicker]

From the images of Hinata district, it looks to be about 16-20 square blocks in size, and the blocks are about 80 feet on a side, maybe a little less. That makes for a population in the low hundreds, maybe as many as 400 people. The Beef Bowl was between the train station and the prep school, after a train ride into Tokyo. Hinata District itself is tiny. Its got the playground, the Maehara's restaurant (decribed as "the restaurant" in ep 2 of the anime), the Tea House, the flower shop, a few other shops (totalling maybe 5-6) and a few tiny little houses where the town council and the other people live. Its really tiny. So yeah, its possible there's only one restaurant in the Hinata District. It also explains why it went under, since there are too few customers.

 

[SimmyC]

The only 'fact' that I am aware of of Hinata is... it is small. Close to Tokyo and so forth, but never stated that it was so tiny that it only has one restaurant and so forth. Using 'images' from an anime (or manga) can be deceptive since, you could claim that any place is small IF said author/filmmaker, etc. only focuses on a SMALL part of town, city, etc. Case in point, San Francisco. You can make San Francisco look big (panarama shots), or really really small if you only focus say, in the Sunset District (where the Victorian homes are).

Now you said it yourself, it's possible that there is only one restaurant. NOT fact. Heck, from the images I've seen of Hinata, I can't even determine how land it takes up.

So Terd, a word of advice, try not to make sweeping claims, and claim them as fact when they are simply speculations. I'm not saying you're wrong, but given that Akamatsu has, let's just say NOT given us much about Hinata, when everything is speculation, it isn't fact either. <_<

 

[PCHeintz72]

From the images of Hinata district, it looks to be about 16-20 square blocks in size, and the blocks are about 80 feet on a side, maybe a little less. That makes for a population in the low hundreds, maybe as many as 400 people. The Beef Bowl was between the train station and the prep school, after a train ride into Tokyo. Hinata District itself is tiny. Its got the playground, the Maehara's restaurant (decribed as "the restaurant" in ep 2 of the anime), the Tea House, the flower shop, a few other shops (totalling maybe 5-6) and a few tiny little houses where the town council and the other people live. Its really tiny. So yeah, its possible there's only one restaurant in the Hinata District. It also explains why it went under, since there are too few customers.

Ummm... Even if that is canon fact, which AFAICR it is not, the Kanagawa prefecture has an *average* population density of 3,577 /km?. So even if it is only 1 km?, that is 3500 people. Of course, it is easily proved Hinata *must* be below that, just the inn itself must destroy that statistic.

Note, since the Hinata dorm/apartment/inn complex is huga, and on a hill, that gives it more a sense of luxury by the sense of the land it is on. This also is an indicator that the prefecture must be more than a km or two, otherwise the entire town would be taken up by the inn.

I agree with SimmyC, unless it is stated somewhere in canon that there is only one resturant, he should be feel to do it however. Besides, as my earlier comment pointed out, since he was wandering, he need not be exactly in Hinata anymore, he could have gone clear to the next town over. That would be up to the author, ot me, to decide.

 

[SimmyC]

In terms of Keitaro wandering to a neighboring town, I agree with PCHeintz72 there as well. Even if Hinata is as small as you say it is Terd, doesn't mean that there isn't a town next to it that Keitaro could 'wander' too. Heck, living in San Jose (the big city in Southern part of the San Francisco Bay Area), I could drive over to Sunnyvale or Mountain View... and not know it. Same could be true with Hinata and the neighboring town/city (of course, this time, instead of driving, walking given that I'm sure Hinata and the neighboring town/cities are much more dense and pedestrian friendly than Santa Clara county. :unsure!: ).

 

[Terdwilicker]

Hinata District is just that, a district. Its a few tiny streets too narrow for vehicle traffic, mostly, there as a reminder of the old world of Japan. Its become a tourist place, somewhere time mostly forgot. I picture it like the smallest part of some downtown, maybe 4-6 streets by about the same, bordered by the river along one side and the Hinata Inn and the hill above it.

Yes, its possible there's other stuff next to it. We never see it in the Manga or anime, and we DO get shots of a convenience store with bread and weird drinks as well as know there's some ugly modern apartments by the train station where Mutsumi lived, complete with ugly modern road and street lights, which you don't see in the district itself. There's also the bridge across the river, which seems to be the main way out. There are towns in the Sierras in California just that small, but they have 2,500 people in them. I suppose a higher population is possible. Just remember: average population density is average, not absolute. An apartment building can have hundreds of people living in it, or less than a dozen.

 

[Lord Raa]

It's entirely possible to walk from one town to another in Japan, I did it.

Admittedly by accident, but still I did it when I was in Kyushu.

I walked from Kurume (where my hotel had two channels of free porn) to Yame (where there's tea fields).

 

[Dark Knight Gafgar]

Here's an idea: Keitaro goes on a walkabout, wanders from Hinata into Nerima. Or Juuban...

 

[PCHeintz72]

Hinata District is just that, a district. Its a few tiny streets too narrow for vehicle traffic, mostly, there as a reminder of the old world of Japan. Its become a tourist place, somewhere time mostly forgot. I picture it like the smallest part of some downtown, maybe 4-6 streets by about the same, bordered by the river along one side and the Hinata Inn and the hill above it.

Yes, its possible there's other stuff next to it. We never see it in the Manga or anime, and we DO get shots of a convenience store with bread and weird drinks as well as know there's some ugly modern apartments by the train station where Mutsumi lived, complete with ugly modern road and street lights, which you don't see in the district itself. There's also the bridge across the river, which seems to be the main way out. There are towns in the Sierras in California just that small, but they have 2,500 people in them. I suppose a higher population is possible. Just remember: average population density is average, not absolute. An apartment building can have hundreds of people living in it, or less than a dozen.

I really don't want to harp on this, but I should point out a couple things.

1. If Hinata is so small, how could Keitaro get lost in it at the beginning?

2. This district is fictional, it does not exist in real life, so we cannot see it. Though I've been told there was a specific complex in real life that was used to model the Hinata apartments off of. Someone after hearing about that actually hunted down a picture of it, but it was not on this forum I heard that and saw the picture.

3. A key part of your phrase is 'I picture it like', thus not canon. You are free to use that as your base for your own stories, it works well for them, and I have no issue with it and enjoyed reading them. But it is only an opinion, or a take on the area as depicted in the anime and manga.

The problem with this is even if there was a Hinata in Real life, that does not mean the one in Love hina follows it.

IMO a good example of similar logic is Nerima in Ranma, what we see of it is shown as not that developed, and impressions given of backward and small size(of course not nearly as small as Hinata). Yet the one in Real life is a sprawling metroplolis in comparison, weighing in at some 600,000 people. I've seen even experienced authors misjudge this, like saying the entire town was wiped out, and 30,000 dead used as the number of people.

Japan as a whole is far more densely populated on average than the US and some other countries, which I really do not know where you are from or not, just using as a comparison. I know because of this, especially in the larger populated areas, that the city lines are quite easy to cross without realizing, as simple as crossing a street, or a bridge. Lord Raa pointed this out in his earlier post.