Sirius Black was truly his father's son. The magic of being his heir practically guaranteed it. While his row with his mother became very public knowledge and doubled as a recognition of him 'turning' to the light, his continued association with his father Orion was practically unknown.
In the years after being cast out by his mother for not taking the Dark Lord's mark, Orion had frequently praised Sirius for his natural self preservation instinct. "Sirius, never doubt for a moment that you are more Slytherin than everyone in this house, except perhaps me", his father would say in one way or another in every conversation. That was the only point of contention between the two, only because Sirius knew he was right but was reluctant to admit it.
Using his silver tongue after being thrown into a cell in Azkaban to get Lucius Malfoy transferred into his own cell proved it. Then again, letting his rage to control him in the first place might have proved otherwise.
Either way a plan started to make its way through Lord Black's mind as he remembered previous correspondences with his cousin Narcissa, especially the most recent one. The one that he hoped would begin to pave his way out of the prison he had already begun to despise after a short week of inhabitance.
Breaking the imperio level control rune carved into the back of Lord Malfoy's neck would be the first step. It was the last frantic letter from Cissy begging for his help, him being the most talented with the Black's runic gift, that would prove the beginning of a chain of events that would vanquish the Dark Lord far, far, sooner than anyone expected.
It would start with a temporary turned permanent alliance between the two Lords. It would evolve over sleepless nights of research by Ted, Andromeda, Sirius, Lucius, and Narcissa. They of course would be researching a diary. The destruction of a book, and a goblet retrieved by Narcissa from her sisters vault would continue the path. Discovering Regulus's letter to Sirius, including a Locket, would permanently affirm in the Black's mind that this was their destiny. Sirius was never as proud of his little brother as he was in that moment.
The Malfoy's feud with the Weasley family would turn up curiously a "pet" rat. Finding Pettigrew, as well as the Wand and Ring he carried, would never become public knowledge. No one noticed the dead body buried in the Malfoy's gardens.
Naturally Sirius caring over Harry detected the presence in his scar. After finding the spell to reveal if an object was a Horcrux, Sirius cast the spell on Harry allowed the fortuitous discovery.
It would be Cissy, using her inherited Black ritual magic, that would repay the favor Sirius did her and develop a ritual that would remove the Horcrux. The 'sacrifice' of a portion of someone's soul gave Harry the rare ability to negate any magic cast at him, or given to him through a potion, that he did not want to effect him. In an unusual twist it also enabled him to talk to door knobs. At first that may not seem like a useful gift, but just think about the spying implications.
A simple order by a frustrated Lucius to, "Find that fucking Horcrux and teleport it to the sun." was given to Doobie, Dobby's brother. The elf would never be seen by the Black family again. In the last thirty years of the elf's life he would destroy more Horcruxes than any other living being had ever done before. Including the last from Voldemort. He would do more bat shit insane things than anyone could even think of, impregnate 3% of the world's female house elves, blow up countless buildings, ruin a major archeological find on every continent, catch 76% of the United Kingdom's rogue Elves, quell a garden gnome uprising, travel to seventeen alternate dimensions, and become Pansy Parkinson's pimp in every one, and even become President of the United States in one dimension under the name Barack Obama.
So yeah, the Birthers were right, once, somewhere.
In his elderly years he would sign on as the Most Interesting Man In The World and become beloved the world over as the spokes person for XX.
And for every interesting thing they told about him in the muggle world, there would be 10 they could not say about the magical world.
In his final breadths he would travel back in time to the Prime Dimension, have sex with a smoking Nun. His final ejaculation would shattered the Prime Dimension and give birth to all alternate realities.
The smoking Nun would give birth to the first being that had any magic at all in any form, Merlin.
In death his carcass transformed into the sword Excalibur which in many dimensions would be used by Harry Potter to slay a Basilisk.
But not in Doobie's original dimension.
And all was right in those 17 dimensions Doobie visited, and all was wrong in the rest. They would soon collapse upon themselves for not experiencing Doobie, as the balance was broken.
Doobie in death would become death and for laughs give three brothers retarded gifts he found in a gift shop at the restaurant at the end of the universe.
Doobie's favorite number was 42. He also carved a huge question made of stone somewhere once to mess with people's heads.
In the years after being cast out by his mother for not taking the Dark Lord's mark, Orion had frequently praised Sirius for his natural self preservation instinct. "Sirius, never doubt for a moment that you are more Slytherin than everyone in this house, except perhaps me", his father would say in one way or another in every conversation. That was the only point of contention between the two, only because Sirius knew he was right but was reluctant to admit it.
Using his silver tongue after being thrown into a cell in Azkaban to get Lucius Malfoy transferred into his own cell proved it. Then again, letting his rage to control him in the first place might have proved otherwise.
Either way a plan started to make its way through Lord Black's mind as he remembered previous correspondences with his cousin Narcissa, especially the most recent one. The one that he hoped would begin to pave his way out of the prison he had already begun to despise after a short week of inhabitance.
Breaking the imperio level control rune carved into the back of Lord Malfoy's neck would be the first step. It was the last frantic letter from Cissy begging for his help, him being the most talented with the Black's runic gift, that would prove the beginning of a chain of events that would vanquish the Dark Lord far, far, sooner than anyone expected.
It would start with a temporary turned permanent alliance between the two Lords. It would evolve over sleepless nights of research by Ted, Andromeda, Sirius, Lucius, and Narcissa. They of course would be researching a diary. The destruction of a book, and a goblet retrieved by Narcissa from her sisters vault would continue the path. Discovering Regulus's letter to Sirius, including a Locket, would permanently affirm in the Black's mind that this was their destiny. Sirius was never as proud of his little brother as he was in that moment.
The Malfoy's feud with the Weasley family would turn up curiously a "pet" rat. Finding Pettigrew, as well as the Wand and Ring he carried, would never become public knowledge. No one noticed the dead body buried in the Malfoy's gardens.
Naturally Sirius caring over Harry detected the presence in his scar. After finding the spell to reveal if an object was a Horcrux, Sirius cast the spell on Harry allowed the fortuitous discovery.
It would be Cissy, using her inherited Black ritual magic, that would repay the favor Sirius did her and develop a ritual that would remove the Horcrux. The 'sacrifice' of a portion of someone's soul gave Harry the rare ability to negate any magic cast at him, or given to him through a potion, that he did not want to effect him. In an unusual twist it also enabled him to talk to door knobs. At first that may not seem like a useful gift, but just think about the spying implications.
A simple order by a frustrated Lucius to, "Find that fucking Horcrux and teleport it to the sun." was given to Doobie, Dobby's brother. The elf would never be seen by the Black family again. In the last thirty years of the elf's life he would destroy more Horcruxes than any other living being had ever done before. Including the last from Voldemort. He would do more bat shit insane things than anyone could even think of, impregnate 3% of the world's female house elves, blow up countless buildings, ruin a major archeological find on every continent, catch 76% of the United Kingdom's rogue Elves, quell a garden gnome uprising, travel to seventeen alternate dimensions, and become Pansy Parkinson's pimp in every one, and even become President of the United States in one dimension under the name Barack Obama.
So yeah, the Birthers were right, once, somewhere.
In his elderly years he would sign on as the Most Interesting Man In The World and become beloved the world over as the spokes person for XX.
And for every interesting thing they told about him in the muggle world, there would be 10 they could not say about the magical world.
In his final breadths he would travel back in time to the Prime Dimension, have sex with a smoking Nun. His final ejaculation would shattered the Prime Dimension and give birth to all alternate realities.
The smoking Nun would give birth to the first being that had any magic at all in any form, Merlin.
In death his carcass transformed into the sword Excalibur which in many dimensions would be used by Harry Potter to slay a Basilisk.
But not in Doobie's original dimension.
And all was right in those 17 dimensions Doobie visited, and all was wrong in the rest. They would soon collapse upon themselves for not experiencing Doobie, as the balance was broken.
Doobie in death would become death and for laughs give three brothers retarded gifts he found in a gift shop at the restaurant at the end of the universe.
Doobie's favorite number was 42. He also carved a huge question made of stone somewhere once to mess with people's heads.
