Ranma ½ Interesting Times

[Lord Raa]

Something....

I don't know any more. Please stop asking me what I'm doing. I don't know, I'm just as in the dark as the rest of you guys.


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Interesting Times


By Lord Raa


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Disclaim-me-do: I’m not entirely sure you should be reading fanfiction at work.


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Chapter 1


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Genma Saotome scratched his head as he tried to get his bearings. The portly man turned to tell his son to stop dawdling, but noticed that there were some nasty looking storm clouds gathering overhead.

“I’d prefer to get to the Tendo Dojo before it rains,” he mused. “Where are you, Ranma?”

“I’m here, Pops,” a pigtailed young man said as he approached his father. “I asked this guy here if he knew where the Tendo Dojo was, and he said he’d take us there.”

“Ah, excellent,” Genma smiled. “I’m Genma Saotome; this is my son, Ranma.”

“I’m Tatewaki Kuno,” the taller youth said with a slight bow. “What is your business with the Tendos?”

Although Ranma didn’t like the arrogance their guide was suddenly displaying, he too was curious as to what his father was planning.

“I need to talk with my old training partner about a pledge to unite the schools of Anything Goes through marriage,” Genma answered.

“WHAT?” the teenagers demanded in unison.

“Well, Tendo and I always wanted to ensure the continuation of Anything Goes, and uniting the branches is the best way,” the portly man explained.

“Oh really?” Ranma asked, folding his arms across his chest. “Don’t I get some say in who I marry?”

“An arranged marriage? That is an honourable tradition, but I am not sure that I can allow such a travesty to unfold!” Kuno declared, pulling out a bokken from nowhere. “The Heavens will guide my sword in my quest for justice!”

“Are you involved with one of Tendo’s daughters?” Ranma asked, turning to face Kuno.

“Yes, I am in the process of courting the youngest daughter, Akane Tendo.”

“Oh, well, if she’s got a boyfriend, then she clearly won’t want to be engaged to me,” the pigtailed youth shrugged. “That could have been awkward, I’m glad that we cleared it up.”

“You would pass on the chance to marry Akane Tendo?” the kendoist asked. After a moment’s silence he came up with an answer to his own question. “Of course, you haven’t had the pleasure of her company. But do not think that I will allo-”

“Whoa, calm down there, we just got into town,” Genma said holding out the palms of his hands. A thought occurred to him and he led Kuno away from his son’s earshot. “We haven’t met Tendo’s girls. I can’t make a decision about a fiancée for my son, especially when there are three to choose from.”

“What are you implying?” Kuno asked, his eyes narrowing.

“I’m saying that I could be convinced that my son’s choices are between two daughters, not three.”

‘Such an underhanded tactic, one that I would expect from Nabiki Tendo or my own twisted sister, perhaps it would be best if Akane is protected from the son of such a man,’ the tall youth mused. “And what sort of thing would be required to convince you?”

“Oh, I’m sure that a noble young man of samurai descent such as yourself would be able to find something suitable,” Genma flattered shamelessly.

“Alas,” Kuno sighed as he pulled out his wallet, “I can only offer you the paltry sum of ten thousand yen.”

“Consider Akane Tendo off-limits,” the portly man smiled as he took the offered notes.


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Ranma was soaked to the skin as she sat beside the recovering Soun Tendo.

“But I don’t understand, Saotome said he had a son…” the moustachioed man muttered from under a cold towel.

“Yeah, well does this look like a boy to you?” Nabiki asked, grabbing Ranma’s left breast for emphasis.

“Please don’t do that,” the redhead asked.

“Nabiki, you shouldn’t do that to a guest,” Akane chided. “Hi, I’m Akane, do you want to be friends?”

“… ok,” Ranma shrugged.

“So, do you do martial arts?”

“A little.”

“Do you want to have a little practice in the dojo?” Akane asked with a genuine smile.

“Sure,” the redhead smiled back.


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A little while later, Genma had managed to find some hot water and was sitting opposite his old friend.

“So, if Ranma is really a boy,” Soun Tendo said, “then what happened earlier? I distinctly remember Ranma having breasts.”

“That’s because we picked up a curse while training in China,” Genma answered, his voice filled with sadness. “I myself picked up a similar curse, only I turn into a panda.”

“You’ve suffered so much for the Art,” the thinner man said, his fist clenched as he struggled to hold back the manly tears he felt straining at his eyes.

“Indeed.” There was a pause before Genma decided to mention the boy he’d met on the way to the dojo. “Tendo-kun, there was something else that I wanted to mention to you, before we progressed with the omiai.”

Soun blinked in surprised, but nodded as he reached for his cup of tea. “Certainly.”

“During the last stage of our journey to your fine dojo, Ranma and needed directions. We found a young man who was courting your daughter, Akane.”

“My Akane is dating someone?” the widower asked, unsure of what was happening, other than his daughters were growing up. Tears started to well up in his eyes.

“Well, that is what the young man implied.”

“Tell me, Saotome-kun, what is he like?”

Genma reached for his own cup of tea and wet his whistle, taking the pause as an opportunity to word his response. “I believe he said his name was Tatewaki Kuno. Obviously, I can’t speak for his personality or family history, but he was tall, he looked like he had a strong body. He certainly wasn’t ugly, and judging from his clothing, his family certainly have money to spare.”

The thought of a handsome, strong and wealthy suitor for his youngest daughter made Soun sit up straight. “Tatewaki Kuno, you say?”

“That’s the name he gave when we met earlier,” said the portly man. “If they are ‘courting’, then we will need to discount Akane from the Pledge. She won’t appreciate being told that she needs to stop seeing this young man in favour of someone she’s never met before.”

“Yes, as much as I would love to see our sacred oath fulfilled with two skilled martial artists, how could I live with myself it denied any of my daughters their true love?” Soun asked rhetorically. “Though, I wonder why she has never mentioned it before?”

Genma had an answer for that. “Would you have told your family about a girl you liked when you were a teenager, Tendo-kun? It’s clear that Akane is a shy girl who wants to go at her own pace. Forcing her will only bring tears.”

The moustachioed man blinked in surprise. While his friend had always been cunning, devious and even tricky, there had never been any indication that he’d been this wise.

‘Perhaps fatherhood has matured Saotome-kun?’

“Yes, I think that we should discount Akane from the pledge.”


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Ranma was about to step out of the bath when the door opened and Akane Tendo appeared.

“Hey, I put the sign out!” he protested.

“AAAAAAAHHHHH! THERE’S A PERVERT IN THE BATHROOM!” Akane yelled. She replaced her gi and rushed down the stairs.

“What’s up, Akane?” Kasumi asked her distraught sister.

“There’s a boy in the bathroom! I’ll drown him in the tub myself!”

It was then that Ranma appeared in his natural, male form. “I’m Ranma Saotome, sorry about this.”

“But Ranma’s a girl!” Akane insisted.

“Akane, please calm down. If you all come into the living room, we can allow the Saotomes to explain,” Soun said in what he hoped was his best ‘wise and paternal’ voice.

“Yes,” Genma nodded. “Could we please have some hot water and some cold water? I know it’s an odd request, but it’s something that we need to help explain the situation.”

“Certainly, Saotome-san. Father, I’ll get Nabiki while the water heats up,” Kasumi bowed politely before heading back into the kitchen.


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When everyone was seated around the table, Genma started to explain the tragic tale behind the disappearance of the redhead and the appearance or the young man to his left.

“Our tale began several weeks ago, while we were in China. Our quest to find the finest martial artists to train Ranma had taken us into the mountains. While this was hardly an usual occurrence, it was what we encountered when we found an old training ground called ‘Jusenkyo’ that changed our lives forever.”

Soun nodded. “Jusenkyo is a place of great tragedy.”

“Indeed, in fact the locals know it as ‘the pools of sorrow’,” the portly Saotome added. “However, it was only after we started our training that we discovered the true horror of that accursed place!”

Ranma’s left eye started to twitch. ‘Pop’s laying it on a bit thick today.’

“There we were, standing on these bamboo poles that stood proud from the pools when we started our sparring. Ranma got in a lucky hit, knocking me into one of the springs. From under the water, I could see that he was looking at me in triumph. In order to remind him that the match was far from over, I leapt out of the spring and prepared to continue.”

The Tendos were all enthralled by the man’s tale while Ranma was mentally counting them embellishments.

“What I didn’t know at the time was that I had been turned into a panda!”

“A panda?” Nabiki asked incredulously.

“Allow me,” Ranma said with a smile. He poured some of the cold water over his father’s head, turning him into a panda.

“Wow...” the sisters replied in unison as they witnessed the rotund, balding man turn into a cute black and white bear.

The Saotome heir took the opportunity to tell the next part of the story.

“So there I am, standing on a bamboo pole, waiting for my old man emerge when this panda jumps out at me. Obviously, I wasn’t expecting a panda to appear out of nowhere and he knocks me into a pool. Now, the thing is about these pools is that they’re magic and they’re cursed.

“If you fall into one of them, you’ll take the form of whatever drowned last in that spring. Now, he obviously fell into the spring of the drowned panda. I was knocked into the spring of drowned girl.”

Ranma punctuated this by pouring some of the cold water over his head. He shrank, his hair turned lighter and his muscular physique acquired more feminine curves.

“Oh my...” was all Kasumi could say.

“So you are that girl from earlier?” Akane demanded.

While Nabiki remained silent, her mind was racing as she considered the mechanics of these curses. Did it hurt? How did Ranma turn back? How much water did you need to trigger the curse? How cold did it have to be?

Ranma, now with an impressive pair of breasts reached for the hot water. “Now, after we got out of the springs, the guide explained that hot water would turn us back to our normal bodies.”

She demonstrated by pouring the water of her head before using it on the panda.

When Genma was now back in his normal form, he adjusted his glasses. “Now, as for the purpose of our visit: Your father and I made a promise many years ago.”

“Yes, a promise to unite the schools of Anything Goes,” Soun added. “Now, my daughters are Kasumi, 19; Nabiki, 17; and Akane, 16. Pick one to be your wife.”

“You can’t expect us to marry someone we’ve just met!” Akane protested.

Soun was about to overrule his youngest daughter when Genma shook his head. It was then that he misinterpreted the reason for Akane’s objection. He turned to his friend for help without causing anyone to lose face.

“I believe that tradition dictates that the first-born would take up any family obligations,” Genma said sagely, adjusting his damp clothing.

“Yes, it falls on the eldest,” Nabiki nodded happily. “That means it’s you, Kasumi.” ‘Dodged that bullet.’

“But would it make more sense for it to be Akane? They are the same age after all...” the eldest sister said weakly as she tried find any excuse to get out of this arranged marriage.

Nabiki saw this as an opportunity to cement the engagement between Kasumi and Ranma. “Well, perhaps, but aren’t you being a but rude by making a guest feel uncomfortable?”

“Rude? But I just... I mean that...” the homemaker flushed with embarrassment.

“Trying to get rid of your fiancé already? That’s got to be some kind of record,” the middle sister teased. “How can you be so cold, Kasumi?”

Kasumi was becoming more flustered by the minute.

Ranma knew that he had to say something to calm things, but what? He didn’t have much experience with situations like this. Most of the time, it was just him and his father teasing and goading each other as they trained and travelled.

Saying reassuring things to a girl was as new to him as having a fiancée.

“Of course,” Genma spoke up, gathering everyone’s attention, “If Kasumi was unable to fulfil the engagement, it would pass to the next one in line: Nabiki.”

“And if I reject it, it would fall to Akane!” Nabiki smiled happily.

“Hey!”

“Actually, if that happened, I think that we would have to break the engagement.”

“What?” Soun asked, panicking.

“It would make the engagement untenable,” said Genma. “To be twice rejected would be too much, even for our sacred oath, Tendo-kun.”

Kasumi swallowed nervously. It was clear that her father had his heart set on this engagement, but she didn’t want to be engaged to someone younger than herself – younger men were often so very boring. If she rejected Ranma, it would fall on Nabiki; and Nabiki had made it clear she would pass on the engagement.

Which would make her responsible for the dissolution of the pledge to unite the schools of Anything Goes, even if only in part. No, she would not be responsible for tarnishing family honour like that.

“I... I apologise for my rudeness, Ranma-kun, please forgive me,” the homemaker said, bowing low enough to touch the floor with her forehead.

“W-what?” the pigtailed martial artist asked in surprise; no-one had bowed to him like that before. “Of course you’re forgiven.”

“Thank you,” Kasumi said, rising from her apology. “Please excuse me, I have to prepare dinner.”

“Of course, thank you, Kasumi,” Soun smiled proudly. “Nabiki, please show the Saotomes to the guest room.”

“OK, Daddy.”


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Kasumi let out a deep breath once she had escaped to the kitchen.

‘Why did this happen to me? It’s obvious that it should have been Akane who got engaged to Ranma-kun. They’re the same age, they’re both martial artists.’

“Plus he’s so young...” she said softly.

“Just because he’s younger than you, it doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy each other’s company, Kasumi,” Soun said from behind his eldest daughter.

“Father! You surprised me.”

“I’m sorry for that, Kasumi. But you should know that Ranma and his father have been on a training trip for a long time. I would be astounded if they didn’t have any stories to tell you,” the moustachioed man smiled. “Even if they only had a few stories, there’s no law against you going on a trip with them.”

“But who will look after the house?” Kasumi asked.

“We’ll make the arrangements, so don’t worry. Besides, it’s not like you’ll be heading out in the morning, Kasumi.”

“OK, Father, I’ll give the engagement a chance.”

“Thank you, Kasumi.”


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[Dumbledork]

Good one. So, Akane is now officially dating Kuno. Won't he be happy to have the permission to court his love.

 

[ThreadWeaver]

well, dating according to Kuno and his delusions.

Although, I'm surprised that Akane didn't put up more of a fuss to try and push it on her sisters. Or at least make the observation that she was shutting up so as not to have the attention--and possibly the engagement-- put on her.

 

[GotTofu]

Interesting...

 

[trueseeker]

Interesting...

... Yes 'Interesting Times' would be interesting wouldn't it .

I am kinda suprised that you picked Kasumi for this one though... I got the vibe that from the beginning that it was gonna be Nabiki, so it was kinda a good twist.

-TS

 

[Obfuscated]

I wonder what Akane would be more enraged by:

Scenario 1: Engagement to Ranma
Scenario 2: Considered engaged to Kuno

I think an beginning season Akane might see 2. as tremendously worse.

 

[Master of Squirrel-Fu]

Interesting...

... Yes 'Interesting Times' would be interesting wouldn't it .

I am kinda suprised that you picked Kasumi for this one though... I got the vibe that from the beginning that it was gonna be Nabiki, so it was kinda a good twist.

-TS

Lord Raa always picks Kasumi.

 

[Lord Raa]

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The Saotomes were unpacking their bags in silence when Genma finally asked his son what he thought about his fiancée.

“Kasumi? Well, she’s pretty and all, but I think she doesn’t really want to be engaged to me. Neither do her sisters, for that matter.”

“I see.”

“Were you serious about taking that Kuno guy up on his offer?”

“For the time being, yes. Why, do you want to be engaged to someone who wanted to drown you in the bath?” Genma asked, a teasing smirk on lips.

“I’ll pass on any violent chicks, thanks,” Ranma replied. “So, now what do we do? What do I do now I’m engaged?”

“Relax. We’ll head down for dinner soon and you can talk with Kasumi; be polite, she is.”

“Yeah, I never had anyone bow to me like that before. She’s not going to be all ‘I must beg for forgiveness’ whenever anything goes wrong, is she? ‘Cos that’s just weird.”

“You’ve known her for as long as I have, Ranma. We’ll find out together. Now, finish unpacking and wash up before dinner.”


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[ThreadWeaver]

A surprisingly rational and understanding Genma...

How unusual.

He must be saving his stupidity up for a big release then...

 

[PCHeintz72]

A surprisingly rational and understanding Genma...

How unusual.

He must be saving his stupidity up for a big release then...

He probably is still focused on what can get out of Kuno...

 

[seitora]

Once Genma realises how good of a cook Kasumi is, it's over. He won't be able to resist the possibility of having her cooking three times a day as his daughter-in-law for the rest of his life.

Akane? Akane who?

 

[nuclear death frog]

Something....

I don't know any more. Please stop asking me what I'm doing. I don't know, I'm just as in the dark as the rest of you guys.

This is probably the most important statement in the thread.

 

[Lord Raa]

Something....

I don't know any more. Please stop asking me what I'm doing. I don't know, I'm just as in the dark as the rest of you guys.

This is probably the most important statement in the thread.

I am not sure what you mean by this.

So have another snippet.




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At the dinner table, Ranma sat next to Kasumi while his father took a place next to Soun. The homemaker was handing out the bowls of food in a way that told him that she was the one who’d prepared their meal.

The Saotomes were about to tuck into their food, when Ranma remembered that he should be polite to Kasumi. ‘Shovelling food into your mouth isn’t what you’d call polite.’

“Kasumi-san,” the pigtailed youth said nervously, “I... err, thank you for the meal. I appreciate all the effort you have put into it.”

“You’re welcome, Ranma-kun,” Kasumi smiled, though her cheeks were colouring. A slightly depressing thought occurred to her. ‘No-one’s really said “thank you” for dinner for a while...’

Soun cast a glance to his friend, who nodded knowingly. It brought a smile to the widower’s face. ‘It’s going well.’

Akane was still unsure of what to make of the situation. Yes, she was glad that she wasn’t the one who’d been engaged to Ranma. Yes, she found his curse weird and it made her question her own femininity, especially since Ranma had such... bounciness.

But did Kasumi do to deserve such weirdness in a fiancé?

Nabiki was concentrating on her own food, her mind going over potential scenarios for how the news that a boy was living with Akane would go down with Kuno.


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