Akamatsuverse Keitaro Otou-San
- Thread starter Andrew Joshua Talon
- Start date
Crusader said:
Andrew Joshua Talon said:
Crusader said:
Sneaky Shinobu 
Will Seta and Sarah also try to help Naru with this therapy by playing along?
Will Seta and Sarah also try to help Naru with this therapy by playing along?
Exactly. Hrm...
- - - - -
"Why shouldn't I touch Shinobu? She doesn't mind!"
"I thought you were supposed to be less perverted!"
"How is that perverted?" *Draws a picture of a hot 20ish Shinobu* "See?"
"... SU!"
"What? Just did what she wanted me to do... Yes, Su thinks Shinobu will be happy with Manager!"
"Oh Sempai~... I have whipped cream~... Could you help me with cleaning it up~?"
"Oh no you don't... Keitaro! I've given up drinking, but you can drink all my booze from between my boobs~..."
Naru groaned and rubbed her forehead. Her dad and moms were so weird... Wait, did I just think that?!
- - - - -
"Why shouldn't I touch Shinobu? She doesn't mind!"
"I thought you were supposed to be less perverted!"
"How is that perverted?" *Draws a picture of a hot 20ish Shinobu* "See?"
"... SU!"
"What? Just did what she wanted me to do... Yes, Su thinks Shinobu will be happy with Manager!"
"Oh Sempai~... I have whipped cream~... Could you help me with cleaning it up~?"
"Oh no you don't... Keitaro! I've given up drinking, but you can drink all my booze from between my boobs~..."
Naru groaned and rubbed her forehead. Her dad and moms were so weird... Wait, did I just think that?!
Hehehe! :evil:
If she thinks they are weird, then she clearly hasn't met the others yet.
Here's something you can use as inspiration BTW.
"Naru," Keitaro said to Naru, "I want you to meet your uncle Ramba/Lamba who's my brother, and my charming sister-in-law Amara/Amalla who's his wife.
Naru stared quizzically at the two figures introduced as her relatives. Both of them appeared either bronze-skinned or tanned, and the man resembled her father in many ways.
(This is going to be loong day!) Naru thought to herself and sighed.
"Naru!" the voice of her father snapped her out of her thoughts and continued. "It's rude not to greet your relatives who've come all the way from Molmol to visit us here."
If she thinks they are weird, then she clearly hasn't met the others yet.
Here's something you can use as inspiration BTW.
"Naru," Keitaro said to Naru, "I want you to meet your uncle Ramba/Lamba who's my brother, and my charming sister-in-law Amara/Amalla who's his wife.
Naru stared quizzically at the two figures introduced as her relatives. Both of them appeared either bronze-skinned or tanned, and the man resembled her father in many ways.
(This is going to be loong day!) Naru thought to herself and sighed.
"Naru!" the voice of her father snapped her out of her thoughts and continued. "It's rude not to greet your relatives who've come all the way from Molmol to visit us here."
A short bit.
- - - - - - -
Naru was sulking a bit in her room. She'd lost her temper and hit Keitaro again, and in response, he'd spanked her and sent her to her room. It was so unfair!
And her bottom still stung...
The door opened and Mutsumi entered, wearing a smile and carrying a stack of manga.
"Mutsumi!" Naru blurted out in surprise. Mutsumi reached out and pressed a finger to Naru's lips.
"Shhh... It's okay," she said. She set down the manga and smiled. "I decided to bring you something nice to read while you're being punished."
"Well... Thank you, Mutsumi," Naru said. Mutsumi laughed softly, and leaned forward to peck Naru on the lips. The younger woman blushed severely.
"Think nothing of it," Mutsumi said. She rose and turned away. "I'll be back in a bit..." She left the room, closing the door behind her. Naru began to look through the stack of manga, seeing a few interesting things...
But her face turned bright red when she saw one manga in particular-A collection of incest hentai.
"H-How did this get in here?!" She cried. Kitsune, you...! Ooooh! When I get my hands on you...!
She picked it up and was about to throw it away...When she noticed that the girl on the cover strongly resembled her. As did the father with her. Her blush deepened. She looked around out of habit, nervous of peering eyes.
Well... Maybe... Maybe just a peek? Maybe it's not as bad as it looks...?
Naru opened the manga and began to read. Half an hour later, she knew it wasn't as bad as it looked: It was worse.
The manga had the father punishing the daughter with spankings, and rewarding her good behavior with sex. Hot, indecent sex that left Naru feeling quite warm between the legs. She turned the page, and saw the step-mother of the family now joining in...
"Oh my," gasped a familiar voice. Naru froze as she felt Mutsumi's breasts press into her back, and her arms wrap around her shoulders. Naru's face went pale, and she turned her head to see Mutsumi's gentle smile.
"M-Mutsumi! How did you-?!"
"Oh, I'm very good at going around unnoticed, Naru-chan," Mutsumi said. "But you... You need to work on that... Among... Other things," she murmured. Her smile became warm and sensual, and her lips drew close to Naru's.
"Would you like to learn from Mama, Naru-chan~?" Mutsumi whispered, before she kissed Naru.
"Mmm...!" Naru resisted a bit at first, but Mutsumi's fingers, mouth and a few "toys" she'd brought along fixed that. Soon, soft cries of "Mama" could be heard from Naru's room-Something Keitaro noticed soon enough.
"Maybe I should check on her-" Keitaro said, but Kitsune rose and hugged him.
"Just let Mutsumi sort it out... There are some things fathers can't get about their daughters, you know," Kitsune said gently. Keitaro slowly nodded.
"I guess... And Mutsumi won't hurt her, of course."
"Of course," Kitsune said with a smile. Not unless that's what Naru-chan wants...
- - - - - - -
Naru was sulking a bit in her room. She'd lost her temper and hit Keitaro again, and in response, he'd spanked her and sent her to her room. It was so unfair!
And her bottom still stung...
The door opened and Mutsumi entered, wearing a smile and carrying a stack of manga.
"Mutsumi!" Naru blurted out in surprise. Mutsumi reached out and pressed a finger to Naru's lips.
"Shhh... It's okay," she said. She set down the manga and smiled. "I decided to bring you something nice to read while you're being punished."
"Well... Thank you, Mutsumi," Naru said. Mutsumi laughed softly, and leaned forward to peck Naru on the lips. The younger woman blushed severely.
"Think nothing of it," Mutsumi said. She rose and turned away. "I'll be back in a bit..." She left the room, closing the door behind her. Naru began to look through the stack of manga, seeing a few interesting things...
But her face turned bright red when she saw one manga in particular-A collection of incest hentai.
"H-How did this get in here?!" She cried. Kitsune, you...! Ooooh! When I get my hands on you...!
She picked it up and was about to throw it away...When she noticed that the girl on the cover strongly resembled her. As did the father with her. Her blush deepened. She looked around out of habit, nervous of peering eyes.
Well... Maybe... Maybe just a peek? Maybe it's not as bad as it looks...?
Naru opened the manga and began to read. Half an hour later, she knew it wasn't as bad as it looked: It was worse.
The manga had the father punishing the daughter with spankings, and rewarding her good behavior with sex. Hot, indecent sex that left Naru feeling quite warm between the legs. She turned the page, and saw the step-mother of the family now joining in...
"Oh my," gasped a familiar voice. Naru froze as she felt Mutsumi's breasts press into her back, and her arms wrap around her shoulders. Naru's face went pale, and she turned her head to see Mutsumi's gentle smile.
"M-Mutsumi! How did you-?!"
"Oh, I'm very good at going around unnoticed, Naru-chan," Mutsumi said. "But you... You need to work on that... Among... Other things," she murmured. Her smile became warm and sensual, and her lips drew close to Naru's.
"Would you like to learn from Mama, Naru-chan~?" Mutsumi whispered, before she kissed Naru.
"Mmm...!" Naru resisted a bit at first, but Mutsumi's fingers, mouth and a few "toys" she'd brought along fixed that. Soon, soft cries of "Mama" could be heard from Naru's room-Something Keitaro noticed soon enough.
"Maybe I should check on her-" Keitaro said, but Kitsune rose and hugged him.
"Just let Mutsumi sort it out... There are some things fathers can't get about their daughters, you know," Kitsune said gently. Keitaro slowly nodded.
"I guess... And Mutsumi won't hurt her, of course."
"Of course," Kitsune said with a smile. Not unless that's what Naru-chan wants...
Now, I'm all for faux incest play, really I am. But I think we're getting too many people involved.
Lamda and Amalla Su? C'mon.
Even Tsuruko is really too rare a visitor to the house to be oft-included in these shenanigans.
And I notice that no one looks to get Haitani, Shirai, or Kentaro involved, even though they are as common, if not more, than many others.
This is a private matter for Naru, and she would very likely want to keep this under wraps when not at the house, and especially when company is over.
And I can imagine when she slips up in public and Keitaro's 'conditioning' has not been installed for the day.
There really is no need to crowd the story with characters, Hinata has several of them, very unique and messed up enough without crazy extra people that need reinventing for every story they appear in.
AJT, you do enough, and you're writing for yourself. If you want to have everyone, by all means. That's your choice as an author.
But don't let the ones who will flock like vultures tell you what to write. You have a good style and the humor feels natural. The overt sexual stuff isn't quite as natural to me. But then again, sometimes Raa's stuff feels weird like that as well.
Final word: TL;DR
This guy thinks having too many people will pull the story thin and dry it out, but keeping it down to small group interactions will allow it to run deep. On the second hand, you don't have to listen to me, best thing about the internet.
Go forth, write and enjoy. If you're having fun with a story, your muse will probably love it harder, too.
Lamda and Amalla Su? C'mon.
Even Tsuruko is really too rare a visitor to the house to be oft-included in these shenanigans.
And I notice that no one looks to get Haitani, Shirai, or Kentaro involved, even though they are as common, if not more, than many others.
This is a private matter for Naru, and she would very likely want to keep this under wraps when not at the house, and especially when company is over.
And I can imagine when she slips up in public and Keitaro's 'conditioning' has not been installed for the day.
There really is no need to crowd the story with characters, Hinata has several of them, very unique and messed up enough without crazy extra people that need reinventing for every story they appear in.
AJT, you do enough, and you're writing for yourself. If you want to have everyone, by all means. That's your choice as an author.
But don't let the ones who will flock like vultures tell you what to write. You have a good style and the humor feels natural. The overt sexual stuff isn't quite as natural to me. But then again, sometimes Raa's stuff feels weird like that as well.
Final word: TL;DR
This guy thinks having too many people will pull the story thin and dry it out, but keeping it down to small group interactions will allow it to run deep. On the second hand, you don't have to listen to me, best thing about the internet.
Go forth, write and enjoy. If you're having fun with a story, your muse will probably love it harder, too.
A little context: Kitsune hasn't already established herself as the maternal figure for Keitaro's programming here. I'll have to edit that part later.
- - - - - - -
Keitaro entered the kitchen, stretching with a groan. He opened his eyes, and smiled. There was Shinobu, gorgeous as usual, working at the stove. He snuck up behind her, and wrapped his arms around her tightly.
"Ah...! Sempai!" She cried out, surprised. Keitaro nuzzled her neck with a grin.
"Come on Shinobu-chan, I'm not that much older than you," he said, as his hands began to roam her generous curves. "But if that's the sort of thing you want to play~..."
"Oooohhh..." Shinobu moaned happily. Oh yes, she was going to love being Naru-sempai's mother... And Keitaro's wife, heheheh...
"URASHIMA!"
Motoko's enraged cry was followed by a strike from her sword, which sent Keitaro smacking into the cabinet.
"Shinobu-chan, are you all right?" Motoko asked. Shinobu covered her blushing cheeks and swooned.
"Oooh... Just fine~"
"MOTOKO!" Keitaro got up, looking angry. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"
Motoko, a bit taken aback by Keitaro's outburst, was unprepared when he took her sword and pulled her over his lap.
"WHAT?! URASHIMA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Motoko squirmed furiously as Keitaro began to yank down her hakama. "You-If you do this I will KILL YOU URASHIMA!"
"SU! FIX IT! FIX IT NOW!" Kitsune shouted.
"Almost... Almost... THERE!"
Keitaro froze and blinked. Motoko took the opportunity to yank up her hakama and move off him, glaring at him furiously as she pulled up her pants.
"You... You...!"
Kitsune interposed herself between the murderous kendoka and the very confused ronin. "Motoko, relax! It was just an accident!"
"An accident?" Keitaro and Motoko asked at the same time. Kitsune nodded.
"Look, just don't kill him, okay? Trust me, I'll explain it..."
"Explain what?" Keitaro asked.
"Uh... Later..." Kitsune left quickly, leaving a very confused Keitaro, a confused and angry Motoko, and a still swooning Shinobu.
"What just happened?"
"You were molesting Shinobu-chan!" Motoko growled.
"I..." Keitaro looked over at Shinobu, and blinked. "Oh God! I... But she looked different!"
"I-I didn't mind~!" Shinobu sighed.
"What?! How could she look different?!"
"You BOTH did," Keitaro said. "I... Look, hang on..."
After procuring a piece of paper and a pencil, Keitaro quickly sketched out two women. He turned it around when done and showed it to both girls. "See? This is what you looked like."
Motoko blinked in bewilderment at the picture of the two of them at different ages. It was as if Keitaro had drawn from a picture of her as a ten year old. Shinobu blushed happily at the image of a sexy, twenty-something version of herself appearing next to Motoko, wearing an apron and a smile.
"But... Why would you see that?" Motoko asked.
"I have no clue." Keitaro admitted. Shinobu blushed more deeply, but kept quiet. She'd just have to figure out a way to make reality fit the illusion...
- - - - - - -
Kitsune scowled deeply at Su. "I oughta give you a spanking for that!"
"How was Su supposed to know that would happen?" Su protested.
"You said Shinobu bribed you!"
"Yes, but Su not know Ronin would go off and molest her!"
Kitsune hummed thoughtfully. She then snapped her fingers. "Of course... He saw our maturity levels." She chuckled. "I've seen how Keitaro gets around Mutsumi..." And me she added mentally. "A mature women really drives him nuts. One he thought was his wife, well..."
She fought back a pleasant shiver at the thought.
"Oh! Of course! And Motoko is still maturing!" Su knocked herself on the head with a grin. "Su not know this would happen! Is a stupid genius!"
Kitsune sighed and patted Su on the head. "You're one in a billion all right."
"Well... Think this way: Manager might have thought Mo-chan his wife," Su said. Kitsune chuckled.
"I think he'd have still ended up dead."
"Maybe," Su said with a wink. "Ooh! Fix that! Could adjust perception of others!"
"No, no, let's keep it simple. Keitaro is a father figure," Kitsune said.
"Awwww... Where Kit-chan's sense of adventure?"
"You do remember that we have to think of how other people will react, right?" Kitsune asked flatly. "I don't think getting arrested will help Keitaro or Naru."
"All right... Hmm... But mom and dad forms more stable parental unit," Su said. She smiled. "Maybe Kit-chan could be Naru-chan's mommy!"
Kitsune hummed, temptation beckoning. "... No, no, I couldn't. This is for Naru, after all."
"Why always Naru?" Su asked with a huff. "MolMol marriage much simpler-Have as many women or men as Su wants. Share. Cooperate. MUCH better."
"Because Naru's the one that needs help. The rest of us are fine. Naru...well, this is why we're even doing this," Kitsune said.
"Could just lobotomize her. Very fast. Su licensed."
Kitsune gave her young companion a deadpan look. "You're not cutting apart my best friend's brain."
"Not cut apart!" Su protested. She pulled out a dangerous looking rifle from her backpack, and flicked it on with a grin. "Laser."
Kitsune held a hand to her forehead. "Oi..."
"MUCH safer!"
- - - - - - -
Keitaro entered the kitchen, stretching with a groan. He opened his eyes, and smiled. There was Shinobu, gorgeous as usual, working at the stove. He snuck up behind her, and wrapped his arms around her tightly.
"Ah...! Sempai!" She cried out, surprised. Keitaro nuzzled her neck with a grin.
"Come on Shinobu-chan, I'm not that much older than you," he said, as his hands began to roam her generous curves. "But if that's the sort of thing you want to play~..."
"Oooohhh..." Shinobu moaned happily. Oh yes, she was going to love being Naru-sempai's mother... And Keitaro's wife, heheheh...
"URASHIMA!"
Motoko's enraged cry was followed by a strike from her sword, which sent Keitaro smacking into the cabinet.
"Shinobu-chan, are you all right?" Motoko asked. Shinobu covered her blushing cheeks and swooned.
"Oooh... Just fine~"
"MOTOKO!" Keitaro got up, looking angry. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"
Motoko, a bit taken aback by Keitaro's outburst, was unprepared when he took her sword and pulled her over his lap.
"WHAT?! URASHIMA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Motoko squirmed furiously as Keitaro began to yank down her hakama. "You-If you do this I will KILL YOU URASHIMA!"
"SU! FIX IT! FIX IT NOW!" Kitsune shouted.
"Almost... Almost... THERE!"
Keitaro froze and blinked. Motoko took the opportunity to yank up her hakama and move off him, glaring at him furiously as she pulled up her pants.
"You... You...!"
Kitsune interposed herself between the murderous kendoka and the very confused ronin. "Motoko, relax! It was just an accident!"
"An accident?" Keitaro and Motoko asked at the same time. Kitsune nodded.
"Look, just don't kill him, okay? Trust me, I'll explain it..."
"Explain what?" Keitaro asked.
"Uh... Later..." Kitsune left quickly, leaving a very confused Keitaro, a confused and angry Motoko, and a still swooning Shinobu.
"What just happened?"
"You were molesting Shinobu-chan!" Motoko growled.
"I..." Keitaro looked over at Shinobu, and blinked. "Oh God! I... But she looked different!"
"I-I didn't mind~!" Shinobu sighed.
"What?! How could she look different?!"
"You BOTH did," Keitaro said. "I... Look, hang on..."
After procuring a piece of paper and a pencil, Keitaro quickly sketched out two women. He turned it around when done and showed it to both girls. "See? This is what you looked like."
Motoko blinked in bewilderment at the picture of the two of them at different ages. It was as if Keitaro had drawn from a picture of her as a ten year old. Shinobu blushed happily at the image of a sexy, twenty-something version of herself appearing next to Motoko, wearing an apron and a smile.
"But... Why would you see that?" Motoko asked.
"I have no clue." Keitaro admitted. Shinobu blushed more deeply, but kept quiet. She'd just have to figure out a way to make reality fit the illusion...
- - - - - - -
Kitsune scowled deeply at Su. "I oughta give you a spanking for that!"
"How was Su supposed to know that would happen?" Su protested.
"You said Shinobu bribed you!"
"Yes, but Su not know Ronin would go off and molest her!"
Kitsune hummed thoughtfully. She then snapped her fingers. "Of course... He saw our maturity levels." She chuckled. "I've seen how Keitaro gets around Mutsumi..." And me she added mentally. "A mature women really drives him nuts. One he thought was his wife, well..."
She fought back a pleasant shiver at the thought.
"Oh! Of course! And Motoko is still maturing!" Su knocked herself on the head with a grin. "Su not know this would happen! Is a stupid genius!"
Kitsune sighed and patted Su on the head. "You're one in a billion all right."
"Well... Think this way: Manager might have thought Mo-chan his wife," Su said. Kitsune chuckled.
"I think he'd have still ended up dead."
"Maybe," Su said with a wink. "Ooh! Fix that! Could adjust perception of others!"
"No, no, let's keep it simple. Keitaro is a father figure," Kitsune said.
"Awwww... Where Kit-chan's sense of adventure?"
"You do remember that we have to think of how other people will react, right?" Kitsune asked flatly. "I don't think getting arrested will help Keitaro or Naru."
"All right... Hmm... But mom and dad forms more stable parental unit," Su said. She smiled. "Maybe Kit-chan could be Naru-chan's mommy!"
Kitsune hummed, temptation beckoning. "... No, no, I couldn't. This is for Naru, after all."
"Why always Naru?" Su asked with a huff. "MolMol marriage much simpler-Have as many women or men as Su wants. Share. Cooperate. MUCH better."
"Because Naru's the one that needs help. The rest of us are fine. Naru...well, this is why we're even doing this," Kitsune said.
"Could just lobotomize her. Very fast. Su licensed."
Kitsune gave her young companion a deadpan look. "You're not cutting apart my best friend's brain."
"Not cut apart!" Su protested. She pulled out a dangerous looking rifle from her backpack, and flicked it on with a grin. "Laser."
Kitsune held a hand to her forehead. "Oi..."
"MUCH safer!"
DemonKitsune: (Perched on her left shoulder) "Of course this is for Naru...but there's no reason we can't enjoy this as well.
AngelKitsune: (Perched on her right shoulder) "And we'd still be helping Naru, I mean who better than we who know her SO well to play mother to our poor, confused, friend."
Kitsune: (looking between them both) "Aren't you supposed to disagree with one another?"
Angel & Demon: (With big smiles) "There are somethings we can agree upon."
AngelKitsune: (Perched on her right shoulder) "And we'd still be helping Naru, I mean who better than we who know her SO well to play mother to our poor, confused, friend."
Kitsune: (looking between them both) "Aren't you supposed to disagree with one another?"
Angel & Demon: (With big smiles) "There are somethings we can agree upon."
