Last time, on this cliche fic of fail, Kyuubi had offered to train Naruto.
"Really?"
"Sure, I've got nothing better to do. Besides, if I sleep too much my tails get stiff." he stretched said tails.
Oh for god's sake, this is not the Kyuubi. This is some sort of dumb comic relief version.
"Awesome! Can we start now?"
"Sure, let's start by reshaping this mindscape..."
End Flashback
Yes folks, the three month flashback is finished.
That was how he found out about Kyubi and how his training began.
He had spent over a month modifying his mindscape.
Modifying his- you mean, changing how his mind looked? Now, I'm not an expert, having never actually mainfested myself in my mind which apparently is a sewer with a massive cage at the end, but surely if you wanted to change your mind, all you have to do, is think about it.
And only then did he realize that Kyubi took the title 'demon trainer' to a whole new insane level.
Naruto Fanfiction Cliche #13. A trainer who is so tough that it must be mentioned they are insane or crazy or overdemanding, despite that they're often someone who has no reason to do so.
He had tried to argue that even if he did do 300 laps and 200 pushups it won't count for his real body, but Kyubi waved him of, saying that he'll take care of it.
No, Kyuubi, that is not how the world works. I can imagine myself running 300 laps in a second. That does not mean I will be capable of doing so in the real world. In fact, yeah, let's hear your fucking explanation for that.
When he finally returned to the outside, he not only did he find out that an hour in his mindscape meant a minute outside, but more importantly that Kyubi' red youki enveloped him and put pressure on him to absorb the progress.
Okay, I can buy the whole time is different inside his head thing, considering Naruto was falling off a cliff the first time it happened, although I'm a little unsure about an hour being exactly a minute and so on. But you know, I'm willing to let that off.
However, what the fuck does he mean with the Kyuubi's chakra putting pressure on him? Does it mean that the chakra changes his body to make it stronger? Why is he wasting his time training in his head? Just tell the fucking fox to put you in the peak of physical fitness or whatever, and there you go.
Another use for the youki was bringing objects from the outside into the mindscape. If it weren't for the Kyubi' warning that it only worked one way, he would have absorbed the Hokage' entire library.
No, fg7dragon. This makes shit for sense. The Kyuubi can suck things into Naruto's mind? Actual physical things are wiped from existence and enter someone's mind?
Naruto's clothes appear when he's in his mind, fg7dragon. He's clearly capable of bringing stuff with him by himself and not making it disappear from reality. Make him half-stuff a book into his pocket.
Why do you pick the most convoluted ways of explaining shit, when you do explain shit? I mean, your three month flashback could've been kept into a night if you'd just done what most idiots did and make the mob beating bring Naruto close enough to death to send him into his mind. Sure, it's stupid and cliche, but is it really worse than making Naruto start recalling a day and then going to cover three months?
He was kinda put out before the Kyubi showed him a jutsu that made a complete copy of a book, as long as he had the paper and ink.
Maybe I can just about buy the existence of such a technique. It sounds like something Sai could've pulled off if he was say on some sort of spy mission and had to get a copy of secret documents or something.
But why the fuck, why the fuck would the Kyuubi know this? Does it look like something that has need for paper and ink?
In less then a month he had finished reading the Fuinjutsu section of the library and had moved on to the Taijutsu section. That one had been a killer.
He. Is. Five. Years. Old.
Not only had it been twenty times larger then the previous one, but he had to practice those styles and moves. So in the six and a half years that had passed since then, he had only learned about ten styles out of three hundred. Still, he at least read most of the books and could probably recognize them in battle.
Ten entire taijutsu styles in six and a half years? Ten?
No. Not even with the difference in time in his mind can I buy that.
Have you seen Gai? Konoha's Taijutsu Expert? He's probably been seen using- oh wait, just one style. There's a goddamn reason for that. It takes fucking years to master even one.
I can imagine the real prodigies like Sarutobi, Orochimaru or Minato being at least capable in multiple styles, but full mastery of them? No. No. No.
Have you ever seen anyone try and learn martial arts in real life?
As well as that, I seriously dislike the idea that he's done all this by reading books. You do not become an accomplished physical fighter from books alone.
Also, he had finished reading the Ninjutsu and Genjutsu sections. Emphasis on 'reading'. While it was true that he had learned a lot of Ninjutsu of various types and uses, his Genjutsu skills were mediocre at best. Kyubi had said that it was due to having his youki in addition to his own chakra. He also said that the seal had to be slightly modified in order to get rid of the problem.
Who wants to bet that at some point will be slightly modified and Naruto will also become a genjutsu master?
As for Kenjutsu, he was a natural with the sword. He had learned most of the styles he read about, butà there was just something missing. None of them seemed comfortable enough to him. Sure, he could use them perfectly, even combine some styles, yet none so far seemed to fit him as he would have liked. So, he decided to work with what he has for now, and keep an eye out for any new sword styles.
And he's also mastered numerous sword styles? Oh for the love of-
To compensate lack of Genjutsu skills and of an appropriate sword style, he emerged himself in Ninjutsu and Fuinjutsu.
According to his tenant, he originally had Wind and Water affinities. But after the sealing, he also acquired fire and Earth affinities. He was also told that he also had great potential for lightning, but with the lack of lightning jutsu in the library he didn't have much to work with.
Huh, that's funny. I could've sworn Naruto's affinity was wind. Just wind. I don't ever recall anyone mentioning he had another affinity.
He had mastered several B-rank jutsu, over forty C-rank and a lot more D and E-rank ones. As his teacher suggested, he had focused mainly on the jutsu that increased their performance when you used more chakra on it, because that was something he had in spares even without the Kyubi.
Alright, I'm just gonna skip through this cos it really is just raving about what a badass Naruto now is.
He had even began to create jutsu that used two elements, butà lets just say that didn't go too well.
As for Fuinjutsu, he was definitely his father' son. He had mastered every single seal in the library and even began to invent new ones. True, he hadn't created something even half as complex as the Shiki Fujin on his belly, but even the Kyubi had to admit that those trap tags were something ingenious.
But what he had found most intriguing was one of the few things his tenant had insisted that he must learn: using the two separate parts of chakra, the ki and the mana, separately. He had told him that he must learn it before starting to use chakra on a daily basis, or it would become impossible. Initially, he didn't like it, but after it was explained to him that it would be much easier to control his chakra in his later years, he quickly gave in; his chakra control was, mainly because of the seal, awful. He initially needed to use at least twice the required amount of chakra in order to make the jutsu work, but after learning to use the two energies separately he sometimes got the jutsu right with even less chakra the normal ninja would use. Suffice to say, it was worth it.
Overall, his training since that fateful day had made him a very powerful young man, at least high-chunin level according to Kyubi. However, all this progress was known to him and his tenant alone. He had known from the beginning that the villager would try even harder to kill him if they knew that the 'demon' was getting stronger, so he had decided to act stupid, dress even stupider, and even fail the Academy at least once. That last failed exam didn't affect him much, as he had already decided which class to graduate with.
Okay. Let's see what we've got here.
Naruto Fanfiction Cliche #14. Referring to people's "power levels" with phrases such as "high chuunin level", "low jounin level", etc.
Oh, and we're back to Naruto Fanfiction Cliche #7. The fucking mask.
I seriously question the very idea of such a thing. While I can believe in the idea of people actually more intelligent than they seem, there is clear limit. Acting for seven years like a moron, to the point you'd fail a graduation- no. That is too far.
And even if you tried, you would not be able to switch personalities with ease at the end of it. Your "real" personality would be a mix. Ever heard of how people who go undercover for a long time find it hard to readjust to their normal lives? That's how it is.
Naruto would've been acting stupid for so long it would've left a noticeable mark on him. I'm surprised he's not mentally scarred.
He purposely waited a year in order to be in the most promising class the Academy had in over ten years. There were kids from every important clan, giving him all the competition he could ever want. Theoretically of course. In reality, most of them were spoiled brats, either more interested in going on a date like the Haruno, Yamanaha and Inuzuka, sleeping their asses of or eating non-stop like the Nara and the Akimichi, or pushing that skyscraper further up their asses so it can reach to ever present storm clod above their heads like the Uchiha.
Naruto Fanfiction Cliche #15. Bashing Sasuke and most Uchiha in general.
Oh, and one more thing. Given that one of the Akimichi's most powerful technique has something to do with transforming excess body fat to chakra, eating non-stop probably makes perfect sense for them.
And of course, Naruto Fanfiction Cliche #16. Naruto far outshines his peers who are useless and stupid.
Since Hinata hasn't been mentioned as one of those brats, I'm assuming she'll be joining the harem.
Correction, Last Uchiha. Right before he had joined the academy, his former ANBU guardian, and at a point close friend, Uchiha Itachi had wipped out his clan, leaving only his younger brother alive, Sasuke. From what he told to Sasuke, he wanted to test the potential of his newly awakened Mangekyo Sharingan, but Naruto knew better.
"BECAUSE NARUTO'S SO SMART!" fg7dragon drooled as he hammered away at his keyboard. "BECAUSE HE'S LIKE ME!" He pulled his hands away, and clicked over to open Paint, revealing numerous Naruto hentai pictures, all depicting Naruto screwing some girl.
Of course, they weren't quite Naruto anymore, as fg7dragon had edited his face over him in all the pictures.
fg7dragon wanked like he never had before. Kyuubi16 for his harem fics, bunjithewolf for his futa fics, neither had even come close to the speed that fg7dragon was jacking off at.
And then, he came. To his surprise, nothing actually came out, apart from a couple of dribbles like the last bits of ketchup in a bottle.
"Huh, I guess I emptied my balls with that massive wank session I had earlier. Come to think of it, I should probably put my mum's underwear in the washing machine. But even if she finds out, her DNA was altered due to that incident with the radiation, so incest between us would be okay!"
And so, another day in the life of fg7dragon ended.
Since his first conversation with Kyubi, he had learned that the one that manipulated him to attack Konoha had been Uchiha Madara, the one that had been hailed as the most powerful Uchiha until his exile, who was known to have died in the Valley of the End fighting Harashima Senju when the Shodaime had turned the Kyubi against him.
Yep, and the Kyuubi was always such a kind and loving soul before that.
Well, apparently the old Uchiha was alive, though he had lost most of his power. Naruto initially considered telling the Hokage about it, but since that was all he knew it would have caused more harm then good so he let it slide.
Not like you could leave an anonymous tip, or just bullshit how you know "Hey old man, I just had this weird dream with this crazy fox screaming about how Madara is still alive or something. What the crap does that mean?"
But none of that mattered to the last Uchiha. The only thing that mattered to him was avenging his family and resurrecting his clan. 'By any means necessary' were his words,
Don't recall him saying that.
phrase that would have gotten punished any lower ninja, but he was an Uchiha, an elite of the elite,
Indeed, which is exactly why Itachi was ordered to slaughter the Uchiha Clan- wait.
so obviously he was pampered his entire life, feeding his desire for revenge and disregarding everyone else. His guardians were the two council advisers, former teammates of the Sandaime, giving him even more space to 'bath in his glory'
Yes, because they would really want to be responsible for the kid they wanted dead in the first place.
Do you even know what you've written? Sasuke getting favouritism from the Konoha elders is a theory that died years ago when it was clear that they hated the Uchiha and they would've preferred it if Itachi had killed him too.
In the classroom, the avenger was at the top of the class at a first inspection, but if one went for a closer approach, they would see that many were holding back their true skills.
Naruto Fanfiction Cliche #17. Sasuke did not deserve to be the best in the class for various reasons...
No, they were not holding back their skills. This is just stuff you've completely made up with no reason, fg7dragon. You even said that most of them were spoiled brats a moment ago.
And at the point of graduation, Sasuke was certainly the most powerful of all the Rookie Nine.
You've already established Naruto's superpowered and stronger than Sasuke in this, you don't need to rant about how Sasuke couldn't have been stronger in canon either.
Naruto had long ago begun researching clan techniques, wanting to know from his competition. Such secrets were obviously kept under a strict guard, but after Kyubi' rhetorical question of 'What happens when the scrolls get old?' he had begun looking through the trash at might. Well 'he' didn't go anywhere actually, but his clones did.
What?
People just throw out old ninja scrolls that contain forbidden techniques? Seriously?
I'm not even gonna start on how stupid it is that the scrolls would get thrown out once they get too old, considering that they would clearly be made to last, and we've seen plenty of old forbidden scrolls that have survived decades.
As well as that, it's also been established that the ninja villages are actually fairly young, so we're not even talking ridiculously old and worn here.
And lastly, there's bound to be someone in the clan who realises that- after the information in the scroll is copied into a new one- you might want to burn the old.
Kyubi had taught him two types of clones: Mizu Bunshin and Kaze Bunshin.
While the water clones were more powerful, having 10% of the user' strength, they had to remain in a close range to him and left a puddle of water when dispelling. The wind clones on the other hand one of the two types of clones that left no trace once they dispelled, the other being Kage Bunshin. While their strength was less then 5%, they could even go to the other side of the Fire Country if it had enough chakra. That way, when someone noticed his clones looking through the trash, they could dispel before being identified, leaving nothing but a gust of wind. The same clones were used to gather scrolls and weapons after every Chunin Exam, from the 44th training ground called the Forest of Death. Because of those nighttime expeditions, his jutsu personal jutsu library was almost doubled, not only in his mindscape, but in the real world as well. After learning more complex containment seals, he was able to seal the equivalent of the Hokage' personal library in a mere twelve inch scroll. Sure, it contained other scrolls that separated the information by class, and those scrolls contained other scrolls themselves, and so on, the final scrolls being the size of a human being. The same things had happened to the weapons he didn't sell.
I'm just gonna go with why does the Kyuubi have some sort of arsenal of jutsu that it can't use?
Both scrolls were sealed in the safest location Naruto could think of: on his own skin.
Unless he gets a scrape or a graze.
So, taking clan techniques into account that Sasuke so generously used in class to get top grades the class was pretty much balanced.
Except that Sasuke never used his Uchiha fire techniques before graduating, to the point Kakashi was genuinely surprised by Sasuke managing to pull them off. In fact, this is a case of Sasuke being the one to hold back his true skills.
That's right. He held back in the Academy and he still owned all the other genin. Thanks fg7dragon, now I have to deal with remembering when Sasuke used to be kinda cool and now looking at what a tool he's become.
As he lay in his bed after putting away his new weapons, he sighed in relief that it was finally time to remove his mask. He had had enough beatings and insults to last several lifetimes and had had more then enough of the attitudes of some of his classmates.
While the Uchiha was an asshole that thought he was better then anyone, he wasn't the only annoying one in the classroom. Haruno Sakura, his self proclaimed number one fan was a pink haired shrieking banshee that droved a lot of people up the walls. Naruto was still cursing the day he chose to pretend she was his crush. The girl was a brute that hit him on the head at every excuse, just as her mother who was on the civilian council instructed her to.
Naruto Fanfiction Cliche #18. Bash Sakura.
Naruto Fanfiction Cliche #18a. Bash her mother as well, despite that she hasn't even had an appearance.
Another figure on his black list was Inuzuka Kiba, the dog boy crossing the line on many occasions, regarding his advances to girls. He was, like Sasuke, stuck-up, and considered that the moment he saw a woman he owned her. Fortunately, the teachers kept a close eye on him and the girls were usually in groups to gossip, so he didn't have many occasions.
Naruto Fanfiction Cliche #19. Bash Kiba.
You know, I'm actually curious as to how these idiots of Kiba being a dick about girls actually started. I don't recall seeing much of it in the anime or manga. From what I recall, he's seen to be fairly close to his sister and is generally like an older brother to Hinata, protective and teases her occasionally.
I mean, considering that his mother and sister appear to be fairly strong characters, could there ever really be a chance for him to become a sexist idiot?
And I mean, fuck's sake. He's twelve and you make him sound like he's going to turn out to be Alex from A Clockwork Orange.
"I'm singing in the rain, I'm singing in-" actually, let's stop there.
One of the few girls that didn't gossip, or consider him trash for that matter, was Hyuga Hinata. She had kept him in her eyes from the moment he stepped inside the Academy for the first time, and it was obvious to anyone with eyes that she had a crush on him. Well, anyone but Kiba, who usually chose her as his target, but Naruto had long ago reached the conclusion that the dog boy valued his nose more.
Naruto was initially surprised by her affection, but after a while he began to like her as well, as it was almost impossible to resist that cute blushing face accompanied her stutter every time he was nearby. It was high time to return her affections.
Oh for fuck's sake.
No. Kiba definitely seems to spot Hinata's crush on Naruto with no problem in canon. Naruto's the idiot who seems to be completely clueless.
And yeah. Hinata fell for the goofy rebellious idiot. Not this tool. She fell for the "mask".
Smokin'!
With that last thought, he went to sleep, knowing that the next day would change his life forever.
I swear to fucking god fg7dragon. I would like to punch you so damn hard in the the cavity in your crotch where your penis has retreated into, as a snail might into its shell, in order to make it easier to conceal those frequent boners you get when you even hear the name "Naruto".
A.N.: I finally decided to do a Naruto & Negima crossover.
Why?
It's been on my mind for quite some time.
Couldn't it have stayed there?
I've read most of the stories on the site
Explains how you managed to hit so many goddamn cliches.
and almost all of them take place in at Mahora. The only one placed in the Elemental Countries isn't even in the crossover section of the site. So I decided to change all that.
Maybe there was a reason for that, you fuckwit.
You slimy turd. You anal seepage. How fucking dare you try and kill the minds of all these people-
á Haymitch Abernathy
2011-01-31 . chapter 1
So far good story, giving a decent bckground so we dont go "WTF? Wasn't he supposed to be like idk... WEAK?"
The summary captured me when I read it... But when I read the "Sasuke/Sakura/Kiba bashing" clause... I flipped and KNEW I just HAD to read it...
Lots of stories with Kiba bashing, as well as Sakura or Sasuke. Or Sakura/Sasuke... but very few with all 3.
I fucking hate them. A banshee with no skill and a fuse the size of am amoeba, a guy with a sun shoved up his ass, and a mutt who treats women like shit...
I enjoy watching the female body. I admit it, I'm a pervert. But I AT LEAST give women privacy and respect... Hence why Jiraiya isn't a favorite character...
Though... I give more respect than I should for one reason: Women don't have testicles you can kick if they try to attack yours... and if you try going for the chest, then you look like you're trying to be a groping pervert... which would insight MORE attacks on your twig n berries...
...never mind.
This guy, fg7dragon, is a fucking moron. As are most of his readers. He manages to pack in just about every cliche imaginable, to the point the only one I actually thought we missed was a female Kyuubi (and even so, it still hit all the other points).
I can't actually believe that cliches that peaked around 2007 are still being allowed to hold up so strong even now when canon clearly rips it to shreds. Sadly, while you may think canon is now bad (even I do) that does not mean you can try and whitewash it with your crappy explanations (or lack thereof) which make no sense and are an ever worse story.
That's Chapter 1. We have 30 more of this shit, still not counting any more this twat spews out.
Well whoop-de-fucking-do.
t: OTOH he was really a demonic prankster, never a malicious one, but he was the prankster king (or im remembering it wrong :huh.: )
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