Mass Effect: Legacies

Lord Raine

Well-Known Member
#1
Mass Effect: Legacies

By Lord Raine

Chapter 1: This Mission Just Got Complicated

Disclaimer: LEEEEROOOOOY JEEEENNNKINNNNNNNNNNNS is not owned by me.


The omnitool on KaidenÆs arm flashed twice, and issued a tone. ôThe perimeterÆs secure, Commander. Orders?ö

John Shepard looked around at the clearing. With sparse vegetation, a small pool of brackish water, and a few rocky outcroppings, there was little to recommend it beyond a spectacular view of the far-off cities and farming complexes. In the distance, the distinctive hum of automatic weapons firing was punctuated by the occasional crack of a rifle.

ôSounds like a fight. ThatÆs good. It means somebody is still alive. IÆll take point. Alenko, shotgun, Jenkins, cover us from the rear.ö

The two men nodded, unslinging their weapons as they moved forwards through the stagnant pools. A distinctively turian voice crackled over the coms.

ôThis place got hit hard, Shepard. Hostiles everywhere. Keep your guard up.ö

Shepard nodded. ôYou heard the man. Stay frosty.ö

The gulley ahead was a steep incline, a result of heavy rains washing off of the high plateau. In the wet season, it would undoubtedly be the crown of a truly spectacular waterfall, but at the moment, it was little more than a grassy slope. Barring a few large boulders scattered here and there, it was almost completely smooth. Shepard frowned. Almost no cover, an uphill climb, and they had been dropped in close enough that the Normandy could be physically seen by any enemies that might be in the area, rendering its cutting-edge stealth systems worthless.

Shepard held up his arm and made a fist, signaling the other two men to stop. ôIÆve got a bad feeling about this. This is exactly where I would set up an ambush if I was trying to kill us. Jenkins, hold here. Kaiden follow me at five.ö

Kaiden nodded, keeping a five yard distance behind Shepard as the two men carefully picked their way down the silt and gravel slope that emptied into the gulley.

Without warning, a rock just to the right of them exploded, showing the two soldiers with red-hot rock and dust. They immediately hit the ground and started sliding towards the bottom, and a sharp crack sounded from above them as Jenkins opened fire with his sniper rifle.

ôDrones at two oÆclock!ö shouted Jenkins, venting heat for another shot. ôI think thereÆs three! No, I see four!ö

Rolling onto his side, Shepard swung his assault rifle towards the top of the gulley and opened fire, dragging his targeting reticule across the flying blurs that his HUD painted red. Behind him, he heard another crack of rifle fire, and the throaty roar of another assault rifle.

Within seconds, the four drones were down. Getting to his feet, Shepard shook the dirt off of his gun and checked it for damage while Kaiden knelt over the shattered remains of their attackers, brandishing his omnitool. With a whoop, Jenkins slid down the slope and joined them.

ôCommander, weÆve got a problem. These are ours. Patrol drones. TheyÆve got Alliance serial numbers on them. Somebody must have reprogrammed them to seek and destroy anything that pings Alliance.ö


ôThatÆs not possible. Alliance IFF protocols are highly classified. You canÆt just overwrite them, it doesnÆt work like that.ö

Kaiden looked up, his face grim. ôSomebody just did.ö

Shepard swore. Jenkins looked confused. ôWait, why does that matter? Sure, itÆs bad that they got hacked, but itÆs not the end of the world, right? ItÆs just some colony defense drones. They were all over the place when I was growing up. TheyÆre just flying guns.ö

Kaiden shook his head. ôItÆs worse than that, Corporal. Two-thirds of the Systems Alliance ground forces are automated, and every ship Fighter Class and up has at least one dedicated Alliance VI onboard to handle logistics. Whoever did this didnÆt æjustÆ hack some colony drones. TheyÆve proved they can do much worse. If you can hack our IFFs, you can send our drones and mechs berserk, make your own IFF tags ping Alliance-friendly on our radars, and even mess with our suit HUDs.ö

Jenkins paled. ôIs it really that bad, Commander?ö

Shepard scowled. ôYes and no. The encryption protocols arenÆt set in stone; they can be changed. The problem is how much trouble this is going to cause. WeÆre going to have to rewrite the codes, which will take time, then weÆll have to distribute the codes to update everything, which will take even æmoreÆ time. And anything we miss becomes worse than useless, because it could be turned against us at any moment. The worst part is we donÆt even know who is responsible. The brass is going to throw a fit over this.ö

The radio crackled for a second time. ôIÆve got some burned out buildings here, Shepard. A lot of bodies. IÆm going to check it out. IÆll try to catch up with you at the dig site.ö

ôWeÆve stood around long enough. LetÆs move. Keep an eye out for any more drones, and be careful. They may not be ping as enemies until they open fire.ö

ôAye, Commander.ö

The three soldiers moved cautiously up the incline and moved towards the small grove of trees at the throat of the gully, weapons ready.

As they entered the edge of the grove, Shepard raised his arm, fingers splayed. ôWait a moment. You hear that?ö

Jenkins looked puzzled, and shook his head. Kaiden frowned. ôI donÆt hear anything, Commander.ö

ôI know. Neither do I. No background noise, no explosions. No gunfire.ö

The two other men paused, listening hard to try and hear something that would indicate that the colony defenses were still working. They heard nothing.

ôMaybe they won,ö Kaiden said jokingly, though his eyes looked grim.

ôWe can hope. Keep moving.ö


======

I know this is short. But there is a reason. This is only the first half of chapter 1. Why only post half? Because it's getting late, and I have stuff to do tomorrow. As much as I would like, I can't afford to stay up all night writing.

I'll finish and post the rest sometime tomorrow. In the mean time, let me know what you think.
 

Deathwings

Well-Known Member
#2
There isn't much to comment on. I mean, the writing's great, but then your writing is always great, so... :huh.:

Jenkins NOT dieing like a chump is somewhat interesting, but really, not enough material yet for a good critic.
 

B.B. Rain

Well-Known Member
#3
Are you redoing ME1 to include the changes or details from ME2, like the existence of mechs/drones in the Alliance military?

Or are the patrol drones the first hint of a crossover/universe-alteration?

EDIT: Wait. Just author-thread-searched you. Is this the SW cross, or just a title-share?
 

Cypher3au

Well-Known Member
#4
Shepard held up his arm and made a fist, signaling the other two men to stop.á ôIÆve got a bad feeling about this. This is exactly where I would set up an ambush if I was trying to kill us. Jenkins, hold here. Kaiden follow me at five.ö
Yep, it's a Star Wars crossover alright. :p

It's nice to see the Heretic Geth doing more than just run around in mobile platforms. That always seemed a little stupid to me; it made them barely better than the droid army from Phantom Menace.

And on the subject of characters behaving stupidly; I hope Udina, Anderson and Shepard go the Council with more than just 'a dockworker of dubious character said Saren did it' this time around. I'm a huge fan of the games, don't get me wrong, but those three really were carrying an Idiot Ball the size of the Normandy's drive core, there.
 

Lord Raine

Well-Known Member
#5
This ran on for longer than I had expected, primarily because I was having way, way too much fun playing with the plot. I already had a firm idea of where I wanted this to go, and that bit up there really was going to be half of the chapter. But as I wrote, I kept coming up with better ideas, including ones that would have long-reaching repercussions. I liked them, and decided to just roll with it.

This is the next part of chapter 1. At the moment, I think it's going to be divided up into thirds, but I'm not done writing yet, so it could be fourths. Again, let me know what you think. I'm all about the feedback.


ôThanks for your help, Commander. I didnÆt think I was going to make it.ö

Shepard took a moment to take her in. The HUD readouts identified her as a Gunnery Chief of the 2nd Frontier Division that had been stationed here, one æA. Williams,Æ but after being shot at by Alliance technology, he wasnÆt willing to take his helmet for granted. Folding the stock of his assault rifle back, he asked her to give her name.

The woman frowned in confusion, but easily reeled off her credentials. ôGunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212. You the one in charge here, sir?ö

Shepard nodded. ôAre you wounded, Williams? I saw you limping when you started running up the slope.ö

She shook her head. ôA few scrapes and burns, sir. Nothing serious. The others werenÆt so lucky. We were patrolling the perimeter when the attack hit. We tried to get off a distress call, but they cut off our communications. IÆve been fighting for my life ever since.ö

ôWhereÆs the rest of your squad?ö

ôWe tried to double back to the beacon, but we walked into an ambush. We had to do a fighting retreat back to the compound. We holed up there, made a defensive perimeter, and put all of the civilians into one of the buildings. We needed to send out some kind of signal for help, but with the communications jammed, the only way was to make it to the communications tower for this area and send one manually. We were hard up for men, so I volunteered to do it alone.ö

Shepard and Kaiden shared a look. ôWere you using drones at the time?ö

Ashley looked confused. ôYes, of course. There were about twenty of us left, so we unpacked all of the defense drones that we could find and set them up to reinforce the barricades and help guard the civilians. Why? Does it matter?ö

ôUnfortunately it does,ö Kaiden said softly. ôWeÆve been fighting since we landed, and this is the first time weÆve run into anything that wasnÆt drones. Thus far, theyÆve all been ours. Our IFFs have been compromised.ö

The blood drained from AshleyÆs face, and her hands started to shake. ôOh no. Oh God no. WeÆve got to go back! We have to go now!ö

Kaiden looked sideways at Shepard. ôMission parameters had securing the Beacon as the overriding objective, Commander. Breaking off for a search and rescue could be exactly what theyÆre hoping weÆll do.ö

Jenkins frowned. ôWait, canÆt we signal the Normandy and get her to go there? They could swing by and pick up any survivors.ö

Kaiden shook his head. ôThe coms are being jammed, remember? We canÆt get anything out of atmosphere.ö

ôBut thereÆs the com tower, though!ö Jenkins insisted, looking excited. ôItÆs not that far from here, from what I remember. We could go there, signal the Normandy, and then continue on to the Beacon!ö

Shepard looked over at Ashley. ôHow close are we?ö

ôClose,ö she said, looking calmer. ôItÆs about half a klick to the west, just beyond the initial dig site. It wouldnÆt take too long to get over there.ö

ôIÆve got a better idea,ö Shepard said, raising his omnitool to his helmet. ôThis is Commander Shepard, do you copy?ö

There was a moment of static, and then a familiar turian voice hailed back. ôNihlus here. What is it?ö

ôWeÆve found a survivor from the Alliance defenses. She claims that they had set up a perimeter in the main compound to guard the civilians before she left to try and get a distress call out through the tower. Could you swing by and check on their status?ö

ôBad news, Shepard. IÆm already there. ItÆs nothing but bodies and wreckage. IÆm not picking up any lifesigns or movement.ö

Ashley inhaled sharply as JenkinÆs eyes hardened, and KaidenÆs lips thinned to a line.

ôNihlus, someone has managed to compromise the Alliance IFFs. I donÆt know what youÆre using for your HUD, but they could have compromised you as well.ö

There was a moment of silence. ôI see. IÆll do a manual sweep for survivors, then. But our objective remains the same, Shepard. DonÆt get sidetracked. When IÆm through here, IÆll meet you at the dig site.ö


ôUnderstood. Shepard out.ö

Kaiden shook his head, grimacing. ôThe geth havenÆt been seen outside the Veil in over 200 years. What are they doing here, anyway?ö

ôMaking our job harder,ö snorted Shepard. ôAt least we can be pretty sure who compromised our IFFs. IÆm actually kind of relieved. There would have been hell and a half to pay if the batarians had been the ones to crack it.ö

Shepard pulled the bolt on his rifle back, and then slammed it forwards, ejecting the nearly spent ammo block and sliding in a fresh one.

ôAll right you two, lock and load. Those bastards came here for the Beacon, and weÆre going to make them fight for it. We could use your help Williams.ö

ôAye aye, sir. ItÆs time for some payback.ö


Thoughts?
 

Chaos341

Well-Known Member
#6
Looks like shit is about to get real. How do you plan on handling the nukes? Are you going to cut the nukes down to one for ease of story? It would also remove some of the pointless overkill of nuking the place with six nukes when one will do the job.
 
#7
You didn't mention the geth till the last minute and they were no references to it before hand. Nothing that is major, since most reader should have a general idea of the ME1 plot by now but it helps with the dialogue abit. I also believe that some talk about the freaky dreadnought landing should come up, unless you are changing things abit more from canon.
 

B.B. Rain

Well-Known Member
#8
I'm mildly curious about the jump from snippet one to snippet two. There doesn't seem to be a transition between noticing everything's quiet and talking with Ashley.

Is this just a scene transition, or is there a missing scene meant to show how they got from point A to B?

If it's a scene transition, I'd reccomend a half-sentence or so inserted into the start of snippet two, mentioning that they came across the Gunnery Chief and helped kill the drones attacking her.
 
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