Naruto-based challenge

[akun50]

Okay, your challenge, if you accept it, is to write a Team 7 meets Kakashi at the training grounds with very unusual power-ups.

For an example, check out my thread of this concept: Unique Power-Ups

Requirements:

1) Kakashi must have NO inkling of what new abilities the team is going to have (spoils the fun otherwise :evil2: ).

2) The power ups must have some sort of benefit for the character who gets them (otherwise they aren't power UPs).

3) Team 7 should not have to hold back these powers (i.e. nothing that, at it's lowest power setting, is limited to leveling an entire continent).

4) No self-created powers. They should come from an pre-existing movie, anime, manga, video game, comic book, music CD, video blog, online video, novel, radio play, paper and pencil RPG, LARP, etc., though if it's seen in multiple sources, list the primary source and/or genre it comes from.

5) Tell people where so-and-so's powers come from.

6) At least two of the genin on Team 7 should have new powers.


Things to consider: (you don't need to do this, but it might be fun to consider)

1) 1, 2 or all 3 members of Team 7 might look ridiculous with the new powers, depending on what gender they were intended for.

2) The team winds up winning the test with their abilities alone.

3) References to the series that the powers come from.

4) The more ridiculous-looking members could be the most powerful.

5) You can use the setup I gave in the thread to start your story.

 

[SotF]

If something is modified to fit the Naruto world in how it's obtained/triggered do you want that to count. It's still the same power, , just made more fitting for the universe. For instance using Primal Rage with a transformational power, it wouldn't be that interesting to have a character be a massive monster all the time so adding a transformation part to it in order to make it work a bit better.

 

[cyrusII]

Why does this make me want to write a VERY fucked up Powerpuffgirls!TeamSeven fic?


Oh god... I need mind bleach.

 

[akun50]

If something is modified to fit the Naruto world in how it's obtained/triggered do you want that to count. It's still the same power, , just made more fitting for the universe. For instance using Primal Rage with a transformational power, it wouldn't be that interesting to have a character be a massive monster all the time so adding a transformation part to it in order to make it work a bit better.

Yes, modified would work, because it's got a source material. I just don't want people making up some wild powers off the top of their head without something canonical backing them.

 

[nuclear death frog]

Naruto doesn't need new powers. He needs a working brain and less hitting with the Nerfbat.

Sasuke doesn't need new powers; he gets them about every other week from the mangaka.

Sakura doesn't need new powers. She needs...hmm, "working brain" sounds about right here too.

 

[Nanya]

"So, come at me." Kakashi smiled, though he idly wondered why the trio didn't disperse to the shrubs right away.

As one, the three looked at each other and nodded. "SHAZAM!" They yelled as one.

*CRACK-KA-BOOM!*

Kakashi had to close his eyes as lightning struck the three at once. 'What in the world?!' He thought to himself, blinking stupidly as the smoke cleared and in the place of the three Genin wannabes were three very muscular and large people.


Yep! B) Team 7 is now Captain Marvel. Sadly, they're only 1/3 as powerful as they could be.

 

[akun50]

Naruto doesn't need new powers. He needs a working brain and less hitting with the Nerfbat.

Sasuke doesn't need new powers; he gets them about every other week from the mangaka.

Sakura doesn't need new powers. She needs...hmm, "working brain" sounds about right here too.

Yes, but the point is to be silly about it.

Nanya's is a very good example of what I intended with this challenge.

 

[Luthorne]

They certainly didn't look like a promising bunch. The Kyuubi kid looked far too gangly to be a ninja, despite the oversized sword strapped to his back. And was that...the Fire Lord's cat? Sakura, on the other hand was giggling to herself; probably planning another prank; from what he'd heard, she was a real troublemaker, and enjoyed winding up her teachers. The last Uchiha...well, looked like a total nutjob, his head jerking around back and forth as he occasionally grinned malevolently at one of his supposed teammates. This was what he had to work with? Oh, well, the sooner this started, the sooner he could flunk them.

"So, you understand? Come at me with intent to kill, or you'll never pass this exam." He shivered involuntarily as all three leveled determined looks at him...and was Sasuke...grinning? He shivered; that was the most demented grin he'd seen leveled at him since he'd sat on Anko's dango tray, and she'd chased him across half of Konoha, determined to get any remainders...

Forcing himself away from that scarring (yet semi-erotic) memory, Kakashi's only visible eye widened as they all took a series of bizarre poses.

"By the power of Greyskull!"

"Cutie Honey...Flash!"

"We are...Venom!"

 

[drakensis]

Kakashi shook his head. Teamwork from these three. They were all ignoring each other.

Of course they were also all screw-up of the highest order.

Uzumaki "no one remembers me" Na.. Maru... whatever his name was.

Uchiha "can change into animals" Sasuke. No Sharingan and apparently thought he was an Inuzuka.

Haruno "can't fucking FAIL at anything" Sakura. As if that was a bad thing. Although she doesn't seem to be hanging off the Uchiha, which is a step up from her classmates.

"Hi," he said casually, wandering into their view and wondering who would be the one to bitch about his tardiness. "Sorry I'm late but I was -"

"Hiding in the bushes over there," Naruto said, indicating the correct locations.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. Unusually perceptive.

"Yeah, and incidentally you could have done with a bath this morning," Sasuke observed. "I could smell you from half the village away."

So both the boys had located him. Now he was impressed.

"So what are the bells in your pocket for?" Sakura asked.

She'd noticed those? Without even LOOKING in his direction. Maybe they did have a little talent after all.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naruto is a Sidereal Exalt, with the ability to bend fate and master the ULTIMATE MARTIAL ARTS ? but has no flashy abilities and is inherently forgettable. He hates it and wishes he was like:

Sasuke is a Lunar Exalt, with the ability to change shapes into any animal he hunts down and eats the heart of. Or of humans. It's incredibly degrading and he loathes it and wishes he was like:

Sakura is a Solar Exalt who is capable of utter perfection in any skills. Like finding out what Sasuke likes in a girl or the real opinion of the other girls in the class of her. She'd KILL to have Naruto's manipulative abilities.

 

[akun50]

Naruto is a Sidereal Exalt, with the ability to bend fate and master the ULTIMATE MARTIAL ARTS ? but has no flashy abilities and is inherently forgettable. He hates it and wishes he was like:

Sasuke is a Lunar Exalt, with the ability to change shapes into any animal he hunts down and eats the heart of. Or of humans. It's incredibly degrading and he loathes it and wishes he was like:

Sakura is a Solar Exalt who is capable of utter perfection in any skills. Like finding out what Sasuke likes in a girl or the real opinion of the other girls in the class of her. She'd KILL to have Naruto's manipulative abilities.

So, we've got a Naruto who wants to be Sasuke who wants to be Sakura who wants to be Naruto.

:wacko: :rofl:

A self-envious Team 7. How... strangely hilarious.

 

[SotF]

Kakashi was a nervous wreck as he stared greedily at the bottle of the Hokage's best booze.

"How was your team?"

The question seemed so innocent, and if he'd had any other team it wouldn't make him want to strangle the old man.

"Sasuke Uchiha..."

His memory flashed back to when he told the trio that they would have to use lethal force. He certainly want expecting the boy to start changing the load of the tonnage of firearms he'd had on his person.

The next memory was dodging a blast only to have a tree collapse ontop of him that he barely got out of by tunneling underground.

"...dangerously destructive."

"And the others?"

"Naruto Uzumaki..."

The blond boy had hair that must have weighed at least a half-ton with the hair jell required for those spikes. Then there was the fact that he had glowing eyes and carried six different sword larger than most he'd ever seen.

Not to mention that they locked togather like some knife fetishists jisaw puzzle into one larger than the brat was.

"...unorthodox to say the least."

"And Sakura Haruno..."

He paused for a breath of air and turned to reveal the pink haired girl dangling from the back of his head.

"IS GNAWING ON THE BACK OF MY HEAD!"

A distant explosion sounded followed by the phrase, "There he is!"

Kakashi groaned as he heard those damn swords slicing through something and the top three floors of the tower slid away at a diagonal.

He paused, Sarutobi was laughing at him.

The next thing he realized was that the Hokage had punted him away from the ruined tower and back towards the training ground he'd started at.

xXx

Sasuke as Sousuke Sagara, Naruto as Cloud Strife, and Sakura as Yachiru. I seriously pity the world.

 

[Luthorne]

Sasuke as Sousuke Sagara, Naruto as Cloud Strife, and Sakura as Yachiru. I seriously pity the world.

:blink: :snigger: :lol: :rofl:

Hilarious.

 

[SotF]

Sasuke as Sousuke Sagara, Naruto as Cloud Strife, and Sakura as Yachiru. I seriously pity the world.

:blink: :snigger: :lol: :rofl:

Hilarious.

Sagara is about the only one I can think of that would start swapping out non-lethal for lethal at the drop of a hat. Of course considering his arsenal, it would still look quite impressive. Cloud can slice and dice buildings as of Advent Children, hell most of the upper level SOLDIER's can as of the other FFVII games. And there aren't that many pink haired characters that could keep up with Sousuke and Cloud in a fight.

 

[Luthorne]

Sasuke as Sousuke Sagara, Naruto as Cloud Strife, and Sakura as Yachiru. I seriously pity the world.

:blink: :snigger: :lol: :rofl:

Hilarious.

Sagara is about the only one I can think of that would start swapping out non-lethal for lethal at the drop of a hat. Of course considering his arsenal, it would still look quite impressive. Cloud can slice and dice buildings as of Advent Children, hell most of the upper level SOLDIER's can as of the other FFVII games. And there aren't that many pink haired characters that could keep up with Sousuke and Cloud in a fight.

True. I suspect Zabuza and Kisame will be suffering from severe sword-envy, though. And that this particular version of Sasuke will be raped by Tenten soon after seeing him in action. And I have a sudden lurking dread as to what nicknames Sakura will give everyone. :snigger:

 

[SotF]

True. I suspect Zabuza and Kisame will be suffering from severe sword-envy, though. And that this particular version of Sasuke will be raped by Tenten soon after seeing him in action. And I have a sudden lurking dread as to what nicknames Sakura will give everyone. :snigger:

Imagine just how screwed Orochimaru is with those three in Konoha during his invasion.

Gaara versus Sasuke "Sagara" Uchiha with enough firepower to decimate most armies. Blast crater anyone?

Naruto "Strife" Uzumaki with a few sets of Master Materia aproaching the barrier with the First Tsurugi. That barrier isn't gonna hold if he removes most of the building those making it are standing on.

Sakura "Yachiru" Haruno causing general mayhem and madness through the invaders. From her sword's sheath has wheels? To Oh God it hurts...

 

[Luthorne]

True. I suspect Zabuza and Kisame will be suffering from severe sword-envy, though. And that this particular version of Sasuke will be raped by Tenten soon after seeing him in action. And I have a sudden lurking dread as to what nicknames Sakura will give everyone. :snigger:

Imagine just how screwed Orochimaru is with those three in Konoha during his invasion.

Gaara versus Sasuke "Sagara" Uchiha with enough firepower to decimate most armies. Blast crater anyone?

Naruto "Strife" Uzumaki with a few sets of Master Materia aproaching the barrier with the First Tsurugi. That barrier isn't gonna hold if he removes most of the building those making it are standing on.

Sakura "Yachiru" Haruno causing general mayhem and madness through the invaders. From her sword's sheath has wheels? To Oh God it hurts...

And that's without his Arm Slave...or even the Fumoffu suit, if you've watched Full Metal Panic: Fumoffu!

Kinda wonder what Naruto's fight with Neji would be like, though. I mean, Cloud's pretty damn angsty, especially in Advent Children, so he probably wouldn't react the same way to Neji's speech...though, for some reason, I have a mental image of him mixing up Hinata and Tifa.

And yes, indeed, the glorious chaos! Though dammit, I wonder if they'll ever show what Yachiru's bankai's like...

 

[SotF]

And that's without his Arm Slave...or even the Fumoffu suit, if you've watched Full Metal Panic: Fumoffu!

Kinda wonder what Naruto's fight with Neji would be like, though. I mean, Cloud's pretty damn angsty, especially in Advent Children, so he probably wouldn't react the same way to Neji's speech...though, for some reason, I have a mental image of him mixing up Hinata and Tifa.

And yes, indeed, the glorious chaos! Though dammit, I wonder if they'll ever show what Yachiru's bankai's like...

It could be more amusing to have Sasuke tangling with both Kankuro and Temari while Sakura is the one to make a beeline for Gaara. Shukaku starts screaming for her to stay away with everyone else rather confused until she goes nuts.

I've had this image of Yachiru's Bankai being a WTFpwnd! situation where she walks into the middle of the fray and then draws and attacks before continuing on her way after sheathing the blade and all of the enemies fall over in multiple bloody pieces. No one can comprehend that she's the one who just did that and try to justify it away while she comments about needing to get the wheels on the sheath oiled because they're squeaking loudly again.

 

[Luthorne]

And that's without his Arm Slave...or even the Fumoffu suit, if you've watched Full Metal Panic: Fumoffu!

Kinda wonder what Naruto's fight with Neji would be like, though. I mean, Cloud's pretty damn angsty, especially in Advent Children, so he probably wouldn't react the same way to Neji's speech...though, for some reason, I have a mental image of him mixing up Hinata and Tifa.

And yes, indeed, the glorious chaos! Though dammit, I wonder if they'll ever show what Yachiru's bankai's like...

It could be more amusing to have Sasuke tangling with both Kankuro and Temari while Sakura is the one to make a beeline for Gaara. Shukaku starts screaming for her to stay away with everyone else rather confused until she goes nuts.

I've had this image of Yachiru's Bankai being a WTFpwnd! situation where she walks into the middle of the fray and then draws and attacks before continuing on her way after sheathing the blade and all of the enemies fall over in multiple bloody pieces. No one can comprehend that she's the one who just did that and try to justify it away while she comments about needing to get the wheels on the sheath oiled because they're squeaking loudly again.

Kukukuku. But a cat for bankai is fine too.

 

[foesjoe]

Take this! Spam-fic no Jutsu!

Kakashi looked at the sun to estimate the time of day and decided that he was sufficiently late for his grand entrance. Forming a handseal, he disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

He reappeared with another swirl of leaves on Training Ground 7 where his three new students were already waiting for him.

ôHello, I am Kakashi, your new instructor,ö he said, making sure to look as bored as possible, which wasn't very hard to accomplish, considering that they could only see his left eye.

ôOh, wow!ö Naruto said, his eyes big and shiny. ôWe're gonna be real ninja! Isn't that great Sasuke?ö

Sasuke crossed his arms in front of his chest and grunted. ôNo! It's not! I hate you and I don't want to be in the same team as you!ö

ôOh, don't be that way, Sasuke!ö Naruto said. ôIt's going to be really great, I just know it! We're going to learn all kind of awesome things, don't you find that exciting?ö

ôYeah, Naurto's right, Sasuke!ö Sakura chimed in. ôYou don't have any reason to be so grumpy. Where I come from, in Texas, our motto is to take the bull by the horns and always do our best!ö

Sasuke didn't let his two companions' enthusiasm impress him. ôYou two are morons and have no real appreciation for the ninja arts! Unlike me.ö

ôAll right, that's enough,ö Kakashi put an end to their squabbling. ôSince we're a newly formed team, I think the best way to start is to tell each other about ourselves. Naruto, you start.ö

Naruto saluted sharply. ôAye, aye, Sir!ö Then he broke down into giggles and was promptly joined by Sakura, while Sasuke only groaned again. ôI'm sorry, I've always wanted to say that,ö Naruto said with a wide grin. ôI'm Naruto Uzumaki, I'm twelve years old and I'm the best burger flipper in all of Konoha!ö

Kakashi blinked once, and when he opened his eye again, Naruto was standing in front of a barbecue grill and flipping burgers with a spatula. ôOoookay,ö Kakashi said. ôAt least we won't have to fear going hungry. What about you Sakura?ö

ôI am Sakura Hurano. I'm twelve years old and I'm from Texas! Also, I know KaratE!ö She took out a pair of gloves and a helmet made of foamed rubber. ôHiiiya! Hiya! Take this!ö

Seeing his friend do this, Naruto stopped flipping burgers and started bouncing excitedly. ôOh! Oh! I know KaratE, too!ö He donned the same gloves and helmet and attacked his pink haired friend. ôToday is the day I will defeat you, Sakura!ö

The two started to fight each other and Kakashi could already feel the beginnings of the mother of all migraines. ôWhat about you,ö he asked Sasuke. ôWhat can you do?ö

ôI can play the clarinette.ö

Sasuke took out a clarinette and started playing the most god-awful music Kakashi had ever heard, and considering he had had to endure the fourth Hokage's singing whenever his old instructor had been drunk, that was saying a lot.

ôWhat did I do to deserve this?ö

 

[DhampyrX2]

Spongebob?!?

:jawdrop:

 

[fitzgerald]

"Next Team Seven," Iruka said in a crisp, clear tone. "Hanuro Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto,"

"YAY!" Naruto roared out in pleasure as he got placed on the same team as the cute girl he was interested in.

Sakura in contrast groaned in dismay at being placed with the annoying kid.

"and Uchiha Sasuke." Iruka continued on ignoring the interruptions.

"Shannaro!" Sakura cried out in jubilation, while Naruto copied her previous groan of dismay.

"Your Jounin Sensei is still out an a mission, however instructions have been left behind for Team Seven. Come see me after all the teams have been announced," Iruka added quickly, managing to cut off Naruto's questioning of why he was on a team with Sasuke.

After all what difference could one night make.

.oOo.

Kakashi didn't grimace as he viewed his latest Genin Team from a good distance.

Ninja were trained to not reveal their emotions after all.

Kakashi didn't curse either.

No matter how much he wanted too.

Sasuke the so called Uchiha Prodigy, and the last Uchiha in Konoha was currently lounging against a tree trunk drinking straight from a large bottle.

Sasuke who was currently not wearing any symbols of the Uchiha but rather practical workmen clothing, heavy leather boots, a frilly shirt and a tri cornered rather beaten down hat.

Off to his right side was an unusual sword in a scabbard and a brace of single shot pistols.

Unusual that, guns were loud, noisy, rather unreliable and slow to fire. All reasons Ninja didn't bother with them, well that and gunpowder just wasn't meant for the rigors of the ninja trade.

"Yoh Ho! Yoh Ho!" Sasuke sang in a slightly slurred tone. "Yoh Ho! And a Bottle of Rum!"

"Would you stop singing please," Sakura asked in an irritated tone, not looking up from the tablet in front of her.

Kakashi couldn't hold back a sigh. Yet another kunoichi who was more concerned with looks than being an effective ninja. At least she wasn't focused on boys, instead clearly focusing on the work before her.

Iruka's briefing had covered the fact that she was, well, a bit of geek. If this team passed.

Kakashi grinned slightly at the odds of that happening.

Well a kunoichi with a focus on the more mentally intensive arts could go far in Intelligence. Especially if she proved proficient at code making and breaking. Even if she didn't pan out on the physical end.

Though what was up with the gleaming bracers on either forearm and that square device resting on it.

A tool of some sort. Perhaps a retractable swing line or maybe a mechanical shuriken holster designed to bring new shurikens up automatically.

Turning his cyclopian gaze to Uzumaki, Kakashi disregarded all his prior assumptions.

When and how the boy had learned to use the sword currently slung over his shoulder along with a heavy looking shield, Kakashi didn't know.

The small cues and tells were there though. Naruto was well practiced and used to using his weapons in combat, indeed in having them on him at all times.

The biggest was that the blond was comfortable with them, there was no fidgeting, small adjustments, or even the subconscious fiddling one did with a new weapon.

At least Uzumaki was still wearing orange.

Not the prison jumpsuit the kid regularly wore, but a subtle and mellow orange long sleeved tunic and pant combo atop leather boots.

Armored clothing at that. Even if it wasn't blatantly plated with armor, Kakashi recognized the fabrics re-enforced nature.

ANBU gear was designed similarly after all.

Leather swords man gloves covered his hands and wrists, and a stout brown belt was cinched tight around Naruto's waist.

Several pouches lined the belt, and Kakashi noted with a single flicker of his eye so did kunai and shuriken holsters.

Time to make an appearance, Kakashi thought as his hands and chakra instinctively activated Shunshin.

.oOo. .oOo. .oOo.

Staggering upright, indeed practically swaying Sasuke eyed his Jounin Sensei as he secured his saber and pistols.

"Right," Sasuke drawled out as he eyed Kakashi, placing his head at a slight tilt to his right.

"On this crew I now declare you Patch," Sasuke said with majestic dignity, drunken dignity but dignity none the less. "However no more hi-iate over the eye hmmm, we need to get you an eye patch. In red."

Nodding sagely Sasuke continued on, "Definitely in red."

"Ooo 'Kay" Kakashi drawled out, blinking his one in disbelief as Sasuke pranced back to the tree and carefully placed his hat next the bottle of booze.

You could see the vapors curling off the lip of the bottle.

"Sensei," Sakura stated in a firm but polite tone. "What's the nature of your secondary test. We're already running behind schedule here."

" ..... " Naruto spoke pointing to Sasuke who seemed to be having an arguement with his hat.

"Leaving me for the rum, how could you. After all we've been through together," Sasuke cried out aghast. "Well we both know who's not going to be coming along with me to the brothel tonight."

"Right," Kakashi called out. "The test is simple. All you have to do to pass is get a two bells off me before time's expired."

"Oh and there is only two bells so one of you will be all tied up. So feel free to come after me with lethal intent," Kakashi concluded his standard Genin cell test speech. The test that no one had ever passed before.

"Reboot!" Sakura called out after double tapping something on her chest. A quick wave of light rolled over her replacing her red dress with a black jumpsuit of some heavy material.

"Capacitor, Capture Beam!" Sakura called out as the device on her armed chirped and shifted before firing off a beam.

Kakashi barely avoided the beam with a quick Kawarimi when Naruto flung a glowing kunai at him.

A kunai that burst into a pillar of ice when it struck the ground near his feet.

"Patch have at thee! I need a drink and my rums all gone," Sasuke declared sadly with his fully matured sharingan swirling in both eyes, brandishing his saber in what seemed to be a somewhat erratic manner.

.oOo.

'Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun DA!' rose musically in triumph and volume as Naruto held the two bells above his head, floating slightly above his outstretched hands.


Kakashi stopped struggling against the energy bonds currently securing him to one of the posts.

Sakura's device, 'Capacitor' was one hell of a chakra artifact. Keytool she had called it.

Not to mention devilishly difficult to avoid after being herded into place by a brace of explosives from Naruto and a rather nasty fire jutsu from Sasuke.

"Right Team Seven you've officially passed. Welcome aboard," Kakashi said calmly. "Congratulations on figuring out the essential nature of teamwork for Ninja."

"Teamwork as expected proved the most efficient method in resolving this challenge," Sakura said with pride, a large smile on her face. "Let's go get some food to celebrate our success as a team."

"Plus booze," Sasuke added as he brushed off his hat and placed it on his head. "Can't forget the booze."

" ...... " Naruto said calmly, oddly enough all present understood that he wanted ramen. More specifically Ichiraku Ramen.

"Oh all right. But we will be going to other food stands occasionally," Sakura stated firmly as she guided Sasuke back onto the path after a short stumble.

Kakashi watched his Genin leave him behind as the trio moved back into Konoha's more commercial districts.

"Leaving me tied up," Kakashi muttered. "Wait until Gai hears about this. I really am out of shape if they managed to beat me."

"Hey Listen!" an annoyingly squeaky voice proclaimed.

Kakashi raised his one eyebrow in inquiry. It wasn't every day you saw a fairy.

Especially a fairy that if she was human sized would be called excessively endowed and currently wearing a green yukita that Jiraiya would call 'painted on with an artists caress', or 'barely hanging on to her shoulders, the yukita seemed moments away from exposing her exquisite natural form.'

"Fuck," the fairy cursed in a much smoother, smoke filled tone that oozed sex. "I hate sounding like my cousin. Navi's voice is enough to drive anyone to murder."

"Now tall, gray and masked," the fairy continued on her sultry tone as she gave Kakashi a close up of her clevage.

Kakashi's single open eye stared down at the free show the green haired, pixie cut, ivory skinned and green eyed fairy was giving him.

"I'm looking for my Naru-chan, you wouldn't be able to help direct me to him would you," the fairy continued on in a breathless tone.

"Chirp. Chirp. Beep. Hmnnnn," Capacitor replied in what was obviously a friendly tone from Kakashi's chest.

"Thanks a bunch hun," the fairy called out. "Call me Impa. Later."

With that Impa speed off down the path.

"So any chance I'll be let go?" Kakashi hazarded an inquiry to Sakura's Keytool.

Red numbers suddenly appeared in the air, counting down from five minutes.

.oOo. .oOo. .oOo. .oOo. .oOo. .oOo. .oOo.

Hopefully the references were clear enough.

Sasuke as Jack Sparrow, or at least a Sasuke who imprinted and copied Jack heavily with the Sharingan.

Sakura as Dot Matrix, Guardian style from Reboot.

Naruto as Link from Legend of Zelda, this time with a much less annoying fairy.

Ciao

 

[Luthorne]

Well, my first theme was characters who transform...but now, well. Fitzgerald has tempted me to do a different theme...I'm sure it'll be obvious.

-----

Kakashi...gaped. There was...this...what?

Okay. There was...Sakura. Who appeared to be wearing some sort of bizarre, orange, red, and yellow full-body armor that hid her gender quite nicely. Only the fact that she currently had that strange helmet with the green visor tucked under her armor let him even match her with her picture. Where she'd managed to acquire something like that, he had no idea...it looked like it was either new, or exceptionally well-maintained. He didn't really expect it would make a difference, even if he wasn't sure what that bizarre device on the end of her arm was.

Then, there was Sasuke, who seemed to be wearing some sort of civilian school uniform, a red armband, and...was that a gun at his side? Kakashi supposed that, if anyone, an Uchiha could track down the rare artifacts, but he wouldn't have expected him to bother; given the difficulty with finding ammunition, guns were mostly obsolete; a ninja with proper training could do much the same with a kunai, or even senbon, without having to worry about the noise. He looked relaxed in some indefinable way, somehow, with an emotionless expression on his face, and his hair hanging down across his left eye.

Finally...there was Naruto. Who, for some reason, was wearing bright orange overalls, a bright orange floppy hat with the letter 'N' centered above the bill, and a pair of dirty brown boots. He looked like he was fresh from the sewers, for crying out loud! Overall, not a promising bunch.

"...so, if you want to succeed, come at me with intent to kill."

He watched as Sakura put on her helmet, Naruto leaping an improbable distance backwards into the bushes, pulling off some sort of bizarre twist in midair, while Sasuke simply...ambled off with his hands in his pockets...ye gods, how did he manage to get first in the class? Kakashi felt a moment of sympathy for his fellow teachers, if they were having to deal with worse than this. It might have been a longer moment, but suddenly some sort of projectile burst from the device on the end of Sakura's arm. Swapping places with a nearby log, Kakashi's blood chilled as he watched the log get covered in ice.

'What the hell? Does she have some sort of bloodline?' Kakashi wondered as he faded back into the foilage, cursing to himself as a series of energy balls began destroying everything around him. Suddenly, he found himself face-to-face with Sasuke, whose eyes seemed to be glowing an eerie...blue? He was dealing with the last Uchiha, wasn't he? Sasuke slowly raised the gun to his head, and before Kakashi could recover from his shock, pulled the trigger, whispering something to himself.

'No, dammit! Why didn't anyone warn me I had to deal with a suicidal student?' Before he could mourn further, however, he had to deal with some sort of black entity that began to attack him with a sword in a vicious frenzy, with Sasuke, still very much alive, his eyes glimmering malevolently at Kakashi. Backing off, he began to prepare to get out of there so he could figure out what was going on, when another series of exploding projectiles soared out of the woods at him. Dodging to the side, he found himself unable to react when Naruto, now wearing a cape, plummeted down from the heavens on top of him, bodyslamming him to the ground painfully. "Itsa me! Narutio!" As Naruto consumed some sort of...mushroom? he began growing to about four time his normal size, pinning Kakashi to the ground in an efficient manner.

As Sasuke and Sakura began to collect their bells from his prone form, Naruto grinning all the while, Kakashi whimpered.

-----

Sakura: Samus Aran

Sasuke: Protagonist from Persona 3

Naruto: Mario

 

[Kerrus]

Kakashi was, as far as ninja went, not a happy ninja. His family? dead. His mentor? dead. His team? dead. So it was somewhat understandable that he spent all his time reading porn and otherwise being lazy.

And today was just another day in the cycle. Oh, sure, Sarutobi had wrangled him into taking on a genin team, and oh sure, things were supposed to go well... But Kakashi couldn't help but feel a sense of impending doom.


As he arrived at the training area, he spotted his three charges. And... He checked the dossier he had slipped inside his copy of Icha Icha. Then crumpled it up and tossed it out, as it was obviously wrong. For leaning against a tree clad in some of the most ridiculous garb Kakashi had seen, was Sakura Haruno.

Pink hair notwithstanding, she was clad as a shinobi should be, full cover facemask, dark clothes, and otherwise nothing extraneous. Obviously she had changed from the apparent girly girl who was more concerned with looks then with survival. But this was not what bothered Kakashi, rather it was the multicoloured facemask... and the doctor's labcoat and stethescope that she wore.

As he strode into the clearing, she looked up from whatever she had been reading, crossed her arms, and said nothing.

"Yo," Kakashi said, waving his hand in a mockery of a salute.

"Oh, you're here... finally," snorted Naruto as he entered the clearing. Covered in cuts and scrapes, he looked like he had just gone through several rounds with a cheese grader. But in any case, it appeared the dossier had been wrong about Naruto as well. While it had mentioned that he was a trouble maker, it had also detailed his extensive use of the colour orange. A colour Kakashi found nowhere on his person. Instead, Naruto was clothed in red... mostly. Though around his waist was an odd looking beltbuckle.

Not that Kakashi put much thought in it, as he was searching for the third member of his team.

"Haruno, where's Sasuke?" Kakashi asked, hoping the fangirl would pay enough attention to tell him. She just looked up, shrugged, then looked back at her book.

"Probably off fighting zombies or something," she said. Kakashi's eye twitched.

"Well if he's not here within the next minute, he's done being a Geni-" Kakashi cut off as the last Uchiha jumped down into the clearing from somewhere above. And then he did a double take as he appraised the boy. Gone were the clothes that showed any hint of the traditional Uchiha garb. Gone was the duck butt hair that featured prominently in the dossier. Instead, he was clothed in leather. Lots and lots of leather. Had Kakashi been a betting man, he might have bet that the last Uchiha were gay. Finally, instead of sitting on his forehead, his Hitaiate hung from a chain around his neck.

"Hn," he said under his breath. "Hair like this takes work."

And with those words he gestured to the coloured streaks and strange hair configuration, as locks of gold and red frambed his face. Kakashi sighed, and flipped on to the next page of his copy of Icha Icha.

"Well, as you might not know, you are not truly genin until you pass this test-"

************

And so it was that Kakashi found himself in an empty clearing, the three members of his team obviously off planning or doing something. Raising his Hitaiate, his Sharingan spotted a flash of movement, and he only just dodged a wave attack of some sort of inverted light. Another sound, and some sort of red beam flew through the space he had just occupied.

Surprisingly, it would be Sakura who finally got the drop on him, hanging out from a tree and wrapping a garrote around his neck. Kakashi only just managed to kawamiri out of the way.

"Alright, what the hell was that?" he asked the empty air. And then he received a response. Sakura leaped down from her hiding place to a point in front of him.

"Sensei," she said slowly. She might have said more, but Naruto materialized in a flash of red light. Kakashi might have mistooken it for a Shushin except that his Sharingan detected no chakra at all. While Naruto tapped at his watch, Sasuke strode in, cape flying in the nonexistant wind, his hand on a cube shaped holster on his belt.

"You've clearly been trained outside of the standard academy fair, so why don't you just show me what you've got," Kakashi ordered. Naruto smirked at him and laughed, while Sasuke muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'trust in your heart'. Sakura nodded at him, and took a stance.

"KYUCHOSE NO JUTSU!" she yelled, slamming her fist into the ground. As the chakra cloud passed, she was revealed to be... riding a velociraptor. Kakashi did doubletake. "Alright Yoshi, time to go!"

As Kakashi dodged away, he spotted Naruto perform a flurry of seemingly pointless arm movements as he ripped his belt buckle off and held it in front of him.

"It's Morphing Time! TYRANNOSAURUS!" He yelled, and a gold flash emitted from the buckle. There was a sudden flash of red, and when it faded Naruto was clad in an outfit Mighto Gai would have been proud of. "POWER SWORD!"

As he yelled this, he pulled a large western style sword from... nowhere, and charging at Kakashi with skill beyond his years. He had put on some sort of growth spurt too. And then Kakashi spotted Sasuke, who had not moved from his initial position. Abruptly a ring of golden light appeared around Sasuke as a golden eye of some manner shimmered into existence on his forehead.

"IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-DUEL!" he yelled, as the light faded revealing a spikier hairdo, a growth spurt, and a deck of playing cards. Sasuke drew five cards, and revealed them, each one showing a golden appendage bound in rings of glowing chakra. "EXODIA OBLITERATE!"

As Kakashi only barely managed to dodge the massive ball of spellfire, he thought to himself that he really, really should have taken the day off.


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I don't seem to be very good at the writing writing part of crackfickage, as everything tries to dive towards good good writing. But the references should be obvious enough.

Naruto - Jason - MMPR Red Ranger S1
Sasuke - Yugi Muto - King of Games (Yugioh)
Sakura - Dr. McNinja.

 

[Cornuthaum]

"hair like that takes time" *G* First thing I thought when I saw that Yugi cosplayer in the pictures thread...

all of you, thanks. I needed the laughs I got from your ideas xD

 

[fitzgerald]

Well, my first theme was characters who transform...but now, well. Fitzgerald has tempted me to do a different theme...I'm sure it'll be obvious.

-----

Hey glad I provided some sort of inspiration beyond "this sucks" or "good god don't write again."

Unless of course ones GH and I'm writing about Naruto in a way that shows him in a positive light. :angel:

Enjoying these so far. Maybe we should get someone to collect and post these.

Ciao