Took me about 15mins to write and 4mins for spell checking and whatnot.
Forgive mine errors =D
That and Enjoy!
***
The people at the geo front watched in frozen apprehension as unit-1 was launched to fend off the third angel, Satchiel.
The bridge crew was abuzz as they traded statistics back and forth, monitoring both the enemy and the pilot, planning to stay ahead of the game and prevent mishaps while giving guidance to their violet haired major.
A man in a green body suite stood to the side silently as he watched everything unfold before him. His beloved student, and unrelated son, was now locked in combat and as two great tears welled up in his eyes, he could only watch helplessly as his boy went out to the real world. The tears of sorrow quickly turned into tears of pride as the sudden knowledge that his boy was now a dependable man made him boil with suppressed happiness. Today, the boy would begin to take the final steps to leaving behind his childhood and beginning adulthood.
Maya gasped as an odd reading came across the LCL content. Somehow, a foreign substance had gotten mixed up in the liquid, causing the third children's (not a typo) sync ratio to fluctuate at 120%, bouncing between 60 and 180 in a random pattern of numbers.
Misato and Ritsuko immediately walked up to the Maya and asked in unison, "WhatÆs going on?"
"A foreign substance has been detected and is currently interfering with the third children's sync ratio. Magi is currently attempting to analyze the substance... wait, its been analyzed. The odd substance is... Sake?"
A loud and horrified gasp echoed through the suddenly silent geo front. Misato immediately turned around to face their guest. Shinji's guardian for the last decade or so was a tall man. A bowl shaped hair cut lined his head and overly pearl white teeth seemed to glint whenever any light touched it, giving him the annoying habit of flashing a heartfelt smile whenever he said anything.
Accompanied by incredibly large eyebrows that defied human genetics his passionate speeches boarded on disturbing every time he tried to encourage anyone or anything. Even Ritsuko grew slightly obsessive over the man as she was still analyzing his genes to see if it was humanly possible for eyebrows to grow that large or he was some kind of genetic defect from a previous evangelion project that her mother had left behind.
"WhatÆs wrong, Gai-san?" Misato asked in a concerned tone as she felt the worry that fell from Gai in waves. If Gai was concerned, then evacuation of Tokyo-3 was probably the best course of action.
"Sake... whenever Shinji touches alcohol a terrible thing happens. I once took him out to the bar to celebrate his 13th birthday and had allowed him to sample the refined tastes of adulthood! Instead he turned into an untamed beast," Gai's face grew grim as he continued his tale of horror. "But when I awoke, groggily at why I was asleep in the first place, the entire bar was in shambles. People were groaning and took the paramedics over 2 hours to clear the debris and rescue the injured."
Ritsuko brows furrowed as she had a sinking feeling on where this was going. "Let me guess... Shinji is a natural master of drunken boxing and any exposure to alcohol triggers this event to happen?"
"No. Its far worse," Gai said as he chocked slightly on the horrible scars of that day. "Shinji... Shinji is... is"
"Is WhAt!?!" Misato demanded in exasperation and apprehension.
"Is a terrible drunk." Gai finished lamely, his words accompanied by the synchronized face fault of everyone within earshot. "He can't for the love of all that is green hold his alcohol. He tends to throw up when he absorbs any minute amount and then bizarre events happen with him doing what needs to be done. God truly works in mysterious ways."
"That is scientifically impossible." Ritsuko stated as she digested the information and pulled herself off the floor. "There is no way that a person can simply throw up and destroy an entire bar."
No sooner had she uttered those fateful words when a loud, overly sloppy retching noise vibrated across the speakers. As one, everyone on the bridge turned to the view screen and saw unit-1 throwing up whatever, Ritsuko was too shocked to even contemplate what it was, and lurched forward as Satchiel leaned forward.
The angel intended to puncture the robot's head via eyeball.
What actually happened was that unit-1 lurched forward, wobbled as it tried to keep its balance, fell into a shoulder roll, came up on its feet, fell forward, slamming Satchiel with a surprised attack and was pushed back by the angry angel.
Falling back, unit-1 slipped on its own puke as Satchiel lunged forward, its energy lance fully charged and in the process of attacking Shinji.
Unsure of what was going on, unit-1 fell to the side, taking down the angel with it and due to unknown circumstances and high improbability, Satchiel ended up skewering itself and it all ended with a massive explosion.
"Shinji!" Misato exclaimed in surprise as the sudden explosion caught her off guard and the safety of the boy was her sudden priority.
"BLEaH!"
Once again the bridge was silent as further sounds of retching came across the audio channels and as the dust settled, everyone watched in helpless fascination of unit-1 was on its knees, leaning forward against a building as it continued to empty liquids that unit-1 shouldnÆt have been able to do.
"Magi has identified the ejected substance. Its LCL. Unit-1 is somehow drawing LCL from the pilot's pool and simply ejected it via oral means." Maya stated in awe and uncertainty as Shinji let out a pained groan that was audible through the direct pilot communication channels.
"Do Not Worry Shinji! For The Strength Of Youth Shall Have You On Your Feet In No Time! Fear Not For We Shall Conquer This Odd Alcohol Intolerance Of Yours! Gai-Sensei Supports You!" Gai stated in a explosive and indescribable revolving point of view as the green clothed man's eyes lit up with fiery passion.
Misato blinked once, twice and thrice as she stared between where the third angel once was and the overly excitable man beside her. A great and deep problem had suddenly developed. Looking at Gai, Misato began to wonder... was it really worth saving humanity if it meant more people like Gai running around? Maybe the angels really were here to help humanity. One Gai was enough.
Two of them?
Misato shuddered as her imagination went into suddenly safe mode and prevented said thoughts from forming.
"BlAEH!"
With a great sigh, Misato's shoulders slumped as she could already see the paperwork here. Her new problem and headache stemmed from the sudden realization, how the hell was she going to explain why unit-1 would have a hangover in the morning.
With lead feet, and a blissful deaf ear to Gai's continued rants, Misato left to get a can of beer and a box of painkillers.
