Migraines... DIE!
Seriously. And I had an exam in the morning, too.
Typos. Yeah. There are typos.
This chapter is a one giant test.
Kakashi tests Team 7. Naruto tests Team 7. Kakashi tests Naruto. Kakashi tests Sasuke.
Sasuke and Kakashi test Naruto's patience.
Sakura tests Sasuke's tolerance.
Haku schemes in very Haku way. Tsume schemes in very UN Tsume way. Un-Inuzuka way, too.
Naruto is clueless. Hana plays the fall gal.
And Haku sips the sake and giggles in a very omnious way. Still refined, though.
*
Operator
Chapter 5
"Tests for all." (Yes, it is a shameless 'justice for all' ripoff, what of it?)
*
"You're...what?" Naruto said, his eyes wide.
"Getting married." Uzuki sipped her sake calmly.
"Oh." He sat down, dumbly. "That's... well, isn't it kind of sudden?" He said lamely. "I mean, Hayate's Intelligence, you're ANBU captain..."
"Hatate is leaving the Intelligence. My tour of duty lasts only till the end of this spring."
"Ah." He nodded slowly. "Man... That's a surprise." He admitted. "Isn't it kind of sudden?"
"Not really." she shrugged. "We've been talking and... Well, two years is more than long eough. And I know Hayate wants kids. So do I. What's the point of drawing this out?"
"When you out it that way..." The blond muttered thoughtfully. "What about your team?"
"I've talked with Sayoko recently and I think she'll make a good captain. Kanna agrees, so there should be no problems there."
"Sayoko, huh?" Naruto frowned. "Not a bad choice."
The violet haired woman nodded.
"Well, all I can say is congratulations, you two." The blond smiled. "Damn. I still rememebr your first meeting... Who would have thought?"
Yuugao blushed lightly.
"We promised not to speak of this again." She hissed with embarassment.
"But it was such fu-"
"Not a word, Uzumaki!" She growled.
"Okay, okay!" He raised his arms apolegtically. "Not a word. I get it."
They sipped their sake in silence, until Naruto opened his mouth, only to stiffen and relax immideatly as a shunshin ended.
"Naruto." Coughed bewildered Hayate. "Lost your mask?"
"Actually, I'm incognito." The blond siad dryly. "So I left my face home."
"Ah." The sick-looking man coughed again.
"Hayate... I love you like a brother but... Please, for kami's sake... Go to Haku and get something for that chronic cough."
"Why?" The man coughed again.
"Because it's damn annoying?"
"And to end up with those cigarettes of yours? No thank you. *cough*." The jounin sat next to his fiancee.
"First of, cigs were not Haku's idea, but Tsunade's." The blond pointed out. "And you've got that chronic cough thing going. I doubt she'd give you high level chakra stabilisers for that."
"I'll pass. *cough*." He eyed the katana. "I see you have it with you."
Naruto bilned, before grabbing th sword.
"Sorry." He muttered, gettign ready to store the weapon back.
"No." Hayate grabbed his hand. "Don't. It is... good to see it used."
"Okay." Naruto nodded slowly, as Hayate let go of his arm.
"Did Yugao tell you about the...?"
"Wedding? Yeah. She dropped that on me already." The blond grinned. "Finally making a honest woman out of her, Hayate?"
"As if you're the one to talk. *cough*"
"I'm kind of young for that." The blond shrugged. "Besides, it's not like I can marry them both anyway."
"Actaully, you can." Yugao took a sip of her sake. "You'd just need to marry Hana first."
"What?" The blond looked at her incredously.
"Inuzuka are nobles. Multiple-partner marriages are not as common as they used to be, but they happen." The woman said calmly.
"Hana might be a nobility, but I'm not." Naruto pointed out.
"It doesn't matter in that case. The law states that higher status overrides lower. If you married her, you'd have equal status, making you nobility as well. Then you could marry Haku."
"People actually do that?" Naruto said in amazement.
"Pretty much." Yugao shrugged. "Nidaime Hokage had three wives. Yondaime himself was bethrothed to two at one point, if I rememebr correctly. One from Konoha, one from Iwa. Obviously for political reasons, but he'd marry them both if not for his untimely death."
"Wow. I didn't know that." Naruto muttered with a frown.
"As I said, it's not common, but it still happens." She turned to Hayate. "And for your sake you'd better NOT be thinking about a second wife, dear."
"Ah... no. No. You're more than enough for me." Hayate coughed. "You're the light of my life, how could I look at another?"
"Good choice of words." The ANBU woman smiled serenly.
"Coward." Naruto grinned at the swordsman.
"Laugh all you want." Hayate looked at him with a smirk. "I'll be the one laughing at your wedding. Loudly."
"Feh. As if." Naruto leaned into his seat. "Inuzuka wouldn't let me marry her and you know it. She's not only a noble, but also the Clan Heiress and I'm the village pariah with a demon in my stomach. I'm amazed I didnt' have an official 'delegation' of Inuzuka politely warning me to stay the hell away form her by now. They might tolerate me as things stand, but marriage? No. They won't let it happen."
Yugao raised one eyebrow.
'That's what you think.' She thought with an inward smirk, remembring her last outing with Tsume and their casual conversation. Almost TOO casual. With far too many questions about a certian blond. Personal ones. 'That's what you think.'
"Anyway. *cough*. How about being my best man?"
Naruto blinked owlishly.
"Uh... excuse me?"
*
"Hello, Naruto-sama. How was your day?" Haku smiled as he walked in.
"You know..." He frowned. "I have no idea."
She raised an eyebrow.
"Well I had the meeting with Kakashi and the Team 7, so that's kind of... low point." He muttered. "On the other hand, I've just been asked to be a best man."
Haku blinked.
"On Yugao and Hatyate's wedding. Both of them."
"Oh my. They are getting married?" Haku said happily. "So Yugao-san really wen through with that."
"Huh?" He looked at her bewlidered.
"Naruto-sama... Really." She shook her head with a smile. "Do you honestly think Hayate-san would ask her himself? Don't you rememeber how they started dating?"
"Oh. Point." He nodded.
Uzuki Yugao and Gekko Hayate were... well, not enemies, but certianly not friends. Then they had that diastorous mission tha ended in arather bizzare way, with feathers, silk, shredded uniforms and mutual embarassment. And Hayate blanching each time he saw Yugao.
Yugao was a very sensible person. Really. She didn't hold the accident against Hayate. The 'deer in the headlights' look he dispalyed each time he saw her, on the toher hand, she did.
For a rather calm, near emotionless gal, Yugao could be damn scary when she wanted to.
She decided he needed to get over the fear ina simple and very direct method. She walked to him, cornered him and delcared in her normal deapan that he was to take her on a date and show her a good time. Or else.
It was one of the oddest courtships he had ever witnessed. Not that he witnessed a lot of them. But sitll, the only odder pair he knew of were Kyo and Yashiro.
"Wait. You've spoken with Yugao about that?" He blinked.
"Well she does come along often." Haku shrugged. "And Hana is not much for a girl talk."
"Ain't that the truth." Inzuka heiress came to the room, a pack over her shoulder. "All that stuff bores me to tears."
"What's with the pack?" Naruto asked curiously.
"Mom's kicking me out. That idiot Shinji wrecked left wing training with Sotorou and I don't exactly have a room anymore. You've got a lot of room so I thought I'd move in."
"Uh... sure, but... Inuzuka compound is damn huge. Why not just take another room in a different wing?" Naruto scratched his neck.
"We've got guests. Some bigwigs from the capital, apparently blood related in some distant way and some frilly little strumpet from Daimyo's court." Hana frowned, clearly irritated. "They comandeered most of the space like you wouldn't believe. I can't believe that mom let them!"
"Nobles?" Haku raised an eyebrow. "That's surprising. And if there is a Lady from Daimyo's court... They don't leave the Court without a very good reason."
"It better not be some kind of omiai, or somebody will be in a world of hurt." Growled the Inuzuka heiress.
"Omiai?" Naruto and Haku looked at each other bewildered.
"Granny and aunty Sanae had been harping around for past year that I need to 'uuphold the Inuzuka name' and 'do my duty'. Meaning marriage to some noble fuck I've never even met." She scowled. "As if!"
"Isn't your clan more free-wheeling about that stuff?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "From what I remember, you told me your clan intermarries with commoners reguarily and it's no big deal."
"Yeah. But I'm the heiress." Hana grimaced. "Besides, they've been complaning that as an ANBU, my life is dangerous and I could die any moment. Bro is going to be a ninja too, so they want me to at least secure the family line." She growled. "That and they say I'll be an old maid if I don't marry soon." A vein bulged on her forehead. "Old maid! Can you imagine that? I'm barely seventeen, for kami's sake!"
"Ah... Hana... For a noble familiy you are well into marriage age." Haku said carefully. "Nobles usually marry young and tend to have a child or two well before hitting their early twenties."
"Oh HELL no!" Hana scowled. "Besides, I'm bonded to the blondie anyway. Not like I can marry someone else even if I wanted to."
Naruto blinked.
"Bonded?"
Hana froze, blanching.
'Oh... crap...'
*
"So... We are... 'bonded'." Naruto said slowly.
"Yeah." Hana nodded miserably.
"For good."
"Yeah."
"Permanently."
"Yeah."
"And that means..."
"Yeah." Hana hung her head.
"Oh." Naruto looked at Hana, blinking owlishly. "I think I need a drink."
"Yeah."
Haku smiled serenly, puttig two bowls of first grade alchol before them and pouring herself a third.
"Kampai!" She said cheerfuly.
"Cheerful, ain't she?" Hana muttered.
"Yup."
"Why, we shall be even closer now. Isn't it a reason enough for happines?" Haku blinked innocently.
Hana and Naruto just stared.
"Have I told you that that girl sincerly scares me sometimes?" Hana said to Naruto seriously.
"Don't worry." He patted her shoulder. "There are times she scares me too."
"Ah. Good to know."
In unison, they down their alcohol without a blink.
Haku smiled fiantly.
'I wonder if they noticed the service they are drinking from?' Haku thought with amusment. 'Uzumaki Haku... Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Inuzuka wouldn't be bad as well...'
They wouldn't get married right away, of course. But something more official would be nice. Naruto-sama needed some stability and it would be rather nice...
'I must thank Yugao-san somehow.' She thought with a giggle.
Hana and Naruto ignored the odd shiver going down their backs and just poured themselves another shot.
*
"I am beginning to utterly hate that man."
The utter calm of the delivered phrase made Naruto's stand on his neck. Even Kazuya, usually too proud to even admit something like fear exists for him, halted his kunai-sharpening.
Being the hot-blooded, rash and brash type, Saya was NEVER calm.. Or rather she was never calm unless she planned bloody murder. She also never used poper, ladylike language and grammar forms. When she slipped into that and stopped using contractions, it meant she was pissed off beyond belief.
The appearing cloud of smoke interrupted Naruto's slow descent into terror.
"Yo." single visible eye was upturned in Hatake's version of a cheerful smile. "Sorry I was late, I got lost on the road of life."
Naruto slowly backed away from the clearing as Saya got up, carefully dustng of her silks with dainty, ladylike move.
Kazuya dropped his kunai along with pretenses and started to back off from the nearby vicinity of soon-to-be-dead jounin.
"Kakashi-dono..." The dulcet tone was sweet, sacharinne and worthy of best geisha. "You should not have worried over us. Verily, is it not learnerÆs duty to await patiently for the wisdom of their teacher?"
Naruto blanched.
Flowery speech... Lack of contractions. Saya was going for a meltdown all right.
Even Kakashi must have noticed the creepy vibes going off from Saya.
"Right..." He blinked as she gigled softly, her mouth hidden behind her hand demurely. "Anyway, the test is to get those" He showed two small bells "from me until the time limit expires." He took a small hourglass from his pocket and put it on the stone.
"Ara, ara?" Saya's eyes were wide, her face a picture of polite confusion "Forgive this unworthy one... But there seem to be only two bells, Kakashi-dono."
Kazuya went pale and started to lift his katana with his thumb verey few seconds, creating maddeing, whiny sound as the steel clacked and moved from the scabbard and back, which meant he was getting really agitated. Only at this reveleation Naruto noticed that his hands were uncosciously trying to form first seal of the Kawarimi.
Kakashi, meanwhile, was digging himself a bigger hole with each second without a care in the world.
"Precisely." He said cheerfully. "I advise you to come with the intent to kill, otherwise, you will fail."
"Oh..." Both hands went to SayaÆs face, as she put a look of scandalised agitation that wouldnÆt be out of place in Fire Coutry DaimyoÆs court. "But, we might hurt you..."
KakashiÆs smile got a little wider and Naruto could actually see the mask stretching a little to accompany the eye.
"DonÆt worry about m..." The explosion took even Kazuya and Naruto by surprise, and they were ready for it.
The debris, dust and broken earth from SayaÆs punch obsucred the spot Kakshi was barely a second before.
"DonÆt worry, Kakashi-dono..." Kazuya raised an eyebrow, surveying the devastation. "SHE wonÆt." He said gesturing at the figure carefully brushing off her silks.
Kakashi stood few meters away, judging from his bugged eye, seriously freaked, his hands still in seal ending Kawarimi no Jutsu.
"Ara ara... Kakashi-dono... It is not nice to leave womanÆs presence with such haste... She might feel unwanted... And not saying goodbye is so dreadfully impolite." Saya admonished demurely.
"You should not do that, Kakashi-dono. Although it pains this unworthy one to chastise one as august as you, you seem to lack some crucial manners. Please, allow me to educate you."
SayaÆs eyes lit with the familiar insane glint as she entered the Stalking Tiger, her favourite version of Koken, snapping her arms in a fast, circular move that revealed the spiked forearm guards she had under her silk blouse.
"Kakashi-dono..." She said softly, the energy backlash accompanying the release of Initial Gate washed over the training area as her mouth contronted into a frighteningly cold mockery of a polite smile that was SayaÆs version of a berserker snarl. "Please... Just die for me?"
*
Naruto's eyes snapped open as he stiffened, before relaxing.
'Memories... Huh?' He thought surveing the familiar training ground. 'This place... It didn't change at all.'
He looked at the memorial stone, his mouth tightening as he read the lines of names, lacking that single, lone name
'Hero memorial... what a bunch of crap!' He snorted, turning away. 'No place for failiures, isn't it, you bastards? Fucking hypocrites.'
He reached for a cigarette with a sigh.
'I shouldn't have taken this mission. It was stupid. Even this place... This stupid place...' He lit the herbal concotion. 'No backing out now, though.' He looked at the memorial. "Don't worry. I won't fail. I gave my word, after all. And I always keep it. Always." He muttered. "Sooner or later... Yeah. Just wait until then."
He took a long drag, rasing an eyebrow as he felt two chakra signatures closing in slowly.
'Wool gathering is over, it seems. Just as well. Being introspective... Not me at all.' His lips quitrked a fiant smile. 'Mission... start.'
*
"Where is he?!" Sakura muttered angrily. 'Honestly! It's just like the last time! Three hours late... Is he really a jounin?'
Not that she minded spending time alone with Sasuke-kun, but...
'Well, almost alone.' She frowned.
Uzumaki sat on the ground, engrossed in his book, yet another of his seemingly endless supply of those strange smelling sigarettes in his mouth.
'what is he, eating that smoke?' She thoguht with irrituation. 'Each time I see him, he always smokes. And he's rude too. Though...' She looked at the blond discreetely. 'He is so familiar. I KNOW I've seen him somwhere before but... He said he's older, so maybe I rememebr him from the academy. Maybe Kakashi-sensei will know? Those two seems to know each other.'
"Want something, Haruno?"
She blinked.
"You've been staring at me for quite some time now. Want something?" He closed his book, putting it into the pouch on his back.
"Ah.. No. I just... I'm not sure..." She gave him an apolegtic smile. "But... I seem to rememebr you. We... Have we met? In the Academy, I mean. I know that you graduated a year earlier since you're thirteen but..."
The blond opened his mouth..
'Finally.' He sighed as a poof of Konoha Shunshin announced Kakashi's presence.
"Yo." Kakashi's eye smiled. "I got lost on the road of life."
Naruto's eyebrow twitched.
'He REALLY has this whole thing memorized. He has to. Goddamn, you, can't you go original for once you asshole?'
*
He could have mentioned the whole 'bell test' thing to his 'team'. Sure.
But there was no point.
He didn't know how Haruno compared, but he read enough about Sasuke and he knew the type.
Unless the Uchiha learned of the vast gap between himself and the jounin, he'd never agree to cooperate with the rest of them.
'Well, at elast they didn't try to face him head on.' He sigghed.
"Shouldn't you be hiding, Naruto?" The jounin said cheerfuly.
"Uzumaki, bastard. Uzumaki." The blond said with annoyance. "Honestly, is your memory going, Copycat?"
The jounin arched an eyebrow. "Are you planning on facing me head on?"
"Do I look suicidical to you?" Naruto exhaled the smoke and threw the remnants of the cigarette away. "I've just been waiting to finish my smoke."
The copycat sighed.
"I think I told you to stop." He muttered. "You know, you won't be able to hide now. The fresh remnants of smoke cling to you and will fro some time." Kakashi's eye upturned in his version of a cheerful smile. "I have almost as good sense of smell as a member of the Inuzuka Clan. You won't be able to hide, Naruto."
"Sure, sure, whatever you say." The blond waved his arm dismissively, heading for the trees lazily. "And it's Uzumaki to you, asshole."
"Naruto." The blond turned at Kakashi's voice. "You know this test. Unless they figure it out on their own... You can't interfere."
The blond just shrugged, before walking into the shrubs.
Kakashi's eye widened.
'His scent... Vanished? But...'
He nodded to himslef slowly.
'Seems like you learned a few things, Naruto.' He smiled under his mask. 'This just might be interesting.'
*
Naruto palmed his face as he watched the effects of Kakashi using Shinju Zanshu on Sasuke.
'That moron! Facing a jounin head on?' He hung his head. 'Does he lack self-preservation instincts or something?' Naruto rubbed his temples. 'And I'm to protect him? With him cheerfuly rushing to face dangers without care in the world, Orochimaru is going to be the least of my problems! Goddamit! Such a torublesome brat to guard...'
He looked at The unconscious girl next o him.
'And that Haruno... One little genjutsu and she falls to pieces. And it wan't even a C-level one. Geez...'
He loosened Jougen in it's scabbard.
'No way around it, I guess...'
Kakashi's in the clearing... I can't retrieve Sasuke. I thoguht he would come here looking for me, but that's not his style at all. Lazy bastard.' He frowned. 'I can't retrieve Sasuke like that and time is running out quickly. Still, with Kakashi int he clearing... Hmm... But... There are ways around it.' He smirked. 'Let's give you an incentive, shall we?'
*
Kakashi looked up form his Icha Icha.
'Oh? Naruto, hmm? Playing bait?' He closed the book. 'Drawing me into his own tritory, which means traps and surprise tactics. But the trap is useless if somebody springs it on his own leisure.' He shook his head, performing a shunshin. 'You've stil got a lot to learn.'
*
'Go after me, Hatake. Run after me. The other me, that is.' Naruto grinned, grabbing Sakura. 'Because if you're so far away I can perform the Shunshin without you sensing it. And get all of the side benefits.'
With a single seal, he was off.
*
'As I thought, traps. But... There is something off about them. I can't quite place it, but...' He frowned,before halting.
"Hmm...?" He turned to look at the blond stranding on the branch. Weren't you the one that said he has no suicidical tendencies, Naruto?"
"Uzumaki, bastard. U.ZU.MA.KI." Naruto sighed. "If you keep calling me so famliarly, I think I'll finally snap."
"Your lack of patience hasn't changed. I thought ANBU would cure that. But it seems I was wrong."
Kakashi settled into a loose stance as Naruto drew his katana with a snort before leaping into attack.
*
"Yo."
Sasuke glared at the blond.
"I see you got stuck." Naruto drew his katana. "Don't move. I'll get you out."
"I don't need your help!" Sasuke hissed, struggling to get out of the trap.
"Oh shut up." Naruto rolled his eyes. "And unless you want to get cut, be still."
Grinding his teeth, Sasuke none the less ceased his struggle.
Naruto cocked his head.
"Hmm. The ground seems weaker to the side. Propably the side effect of the dig. Okay." He raised the katana.
Sasuke frowned.
'What is he...?'
The blond slept the sword in a lightning-fast slash, digging deep into the ground and then drawing a circle around Saskue with two arcing slashes.
Sasuke's eyes widened as he felt the earth around his limps loosen.
'No way... This... Was it strenght?' He blinked. 'No. There would be gouges, but the earth is looser. How?'
"Well?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.
Sasuke grunted, digging himself out now that the ground was looser.
"You... What kind of jutsu did you use?" He demanded, shaking off the dirt.
"Not a jutsu, Uchiha. Vibration." Sasuke's eyes widened as he saw the dirt fall away from the sword without Naruto moving the hand even an inch. It was minute, almost unnoticeable but the blade WAS vibrating ever so slightly.
"How do you do that?" He said with narrowed eyes.
"If you have a weapon that can channel chakra, little vibration is nothing." The blond shrugged.
'I see. Chakra blade.' Sasuke thought with dissapointment. 'A pity. That kind of jutsu might have been useful.' He frowned. 'But where did a genin get a chakra blade? Those are expensive. Very expensive.'
"Muuh... SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura jumped up, awaking from her forceful slumber.
She blinked as she saw both Naruto and Sasuke in front of her, looking at her with bewilderement.
"SASUKE-KUN!" She sqealed. "You're alive! I was so worried!" She sniffled. "I thought... I saw..."
"So that's what he used. Clever bastard." Naruto chuckled, before stiffening. 'Already? Damn. I overestimated the time!'
"Okay. Enough. Since we are all together now, we can do it right." He turned to the genin cadidates. "I..."
He cursed as he felt Kakashi's shunshin.
"Time's up!" Kakashi's eye upturned cheerufly.
Naruto looked at the hourglass on the tombstone and his eyes widened a fraction.
'That bastard... It seems he DID change things, after all.'
Kakashi looked at him calmly and Naruto smiled mirthlessly.
'So you can go original, Copycat. This round goes to you.'
*
"For the two of you... there is no need to go back to the academy."
Sakura started smiling, her inner self dancing a happy jig even as the ropes chaffed her hips and wrists.
'Seriously, he didn't need to do it so tightly!' She thought with irritation. 'Well, at least we pas-
"You should quite being ninja. Right here. Right now."
'We... Failed...?' Saskura thought dumbly. "B-but... Quit?"
'I knew it. Hindrances. Even that new guy.' Sasuke snorted. 'Useless.'
"You shouldn't be so happy, Sasuke." Kakashi's apathetic eye looked at the Uchiha. "One of the two who should quit... Is you."
Sasuke froze, looking at the jounin incredously.
'But... I fought him! I almost HAD those bells! Sakura got knocked out at once, and that guy... He didn't even fight!'
With a snarl he reached for his kunai, sending several at Kakashi before grabbing another, lunging at the jounin.
Naruto sighed as Kakashi effortlessly avoided the projectile and grabbed Sasuke's wrist mid-stab, redirecting the momentum and sending him tot he ground, his foot on Uchiha's back, both of the boy's hands locked under the heel of the jounin's sandal.
"And that's why I told you to quit." Kakashi said lazily.
"At.. least..I... am not a COWARD." Sasuke spat angrily, trying to to slip away from the uncofortable hold.
"Coward?" The jounin leaned forward. "Is it cowardice to hide from a superior opponent? Hmm? And that's what shinobi do, you know. Hide. Plan." He drawled. "Not attack a vastly superior opponent head on unles they have any other choice." His gaze hardened. "You two... Why do you think you were divided into teams of three? Why do you think you are doing this excersise? Do you know the answer to that?"
Sakura blinked.
"Answer...?"
'Here we go...' He thought, liting a fresh cigarette with a sigh.
"The answer... is teamwork." Kakashi said seriously. "The three of you working together could have gotten the bells."
"But... You're a jounin. And you defeated Sasuke-kun. What would that help?" Sakura siad hesitantly.
"In theory, a well coordinated group of three people should be enough to bring down even a vastly superior opponent." Naruto said lazily. "That's why genin are divided into team of three. With proper strategy, tactics and teamwork, three genin should equal one jounin. Theoretically."
The pink haired girl frowned, before her eyes widened.
"But... Teamork doesn't help here! There are only two bells!" She shouted. "Even if we get them, one of us will still fail!"
"Naturally." Kakashi shrugged. "The test was designed to see if you can put away the personal concerns for the sake of the mission." He shook his head, looking at Sasuke.
"Instead of gathering knowledge and support, you assumed others will get in the way and went for frontal assault. That's not how a ninja fights." He turned to Sakura. "You just started to look for Sasuke right away, not even bothering to set traps or looking for Naruto despite the fact that searching for Naruto would be better. I doubt you'd find him, but since you knew that Sasuke was next to me, Naruto would be safer choice. Instead you went for Sasuke without a thought. You two... Quit. As ninja you two are worthless."
"But.. but...!" Sakura protested, beofre blinking. "Two of us?"
"Well it's not like I can demote an actual ninja, now can I?" Kakashi shrugged, before letting Sasuke go.
Sakura's eyes widened and Saskue scowled, dusting himself off as he looked as the blond.
"Individual ability is important, but teamwork even more so. As Naruto said, you are divided in teams for a reason. If there is no teamwork, one action by a disruptive individual can mean faliure and death. Just like that." Suddenly he grabbed Sasuke, putting Kunai to his neck. "Naruto! Kill Sakura or Sasuke dies!"
The blond's eye twitched as Sakura yelped.
'That bastard...! He's making fun of me!' His teeth gritted.
"See?" Kakashi sighed. "Mistakes can be made. Hostages can be taken, and suddenly people around you die. Life of a ninja means you'll be constantly facing difficulet decisons and death. You will be risking your life constantly. That's what it means to be shinobi." He let go of Sasuke turning to the memorial. "Look at the names on this stone. The names... All of them are recognized as her-"
Kakashi stiffened as he felt a sharp stab or raw killer intent and turned quickly to see two pools of blue glaring at him.
'Oh. Now that is new.' Kakashi thought, his eye getting a little bit wider.
"Don't you dare to finish that spiel, Copycat. Not a word." Naruto's voice wasn't the old, raw fury from three years before. It was cold, focused and almost emotionless save for overwhelming certanity that he would act on his words. He knew that dead tone well from his time in ANBU.
'Still with that old grudge, I see...' The Copy Nin sighed.
"I'm giving you one more chance." He looked at Team 7. "But this time, I'm going to make it harder. Just so you know. You may eat the lunch that I left behind But don't you dare to give any to Sakura. It is her punishhment for falling prey to basic genjutsu like she did."
The pink haired girl hung her head in shame.
"If you give her food, I'll fail you immideatly. Got it?" The jounin cautioned. "I'll be back soon. Eat and rest a little." He 'poofed' away with a shunshin.
Naruto frowned.
'Erased his presence... Unless I do a full active sweep I won't be able to find him. Damn... I KNOW he's here! Bastard. Hate to admit it, but he's very good.' He scowled, before cutting Sakura away from the pole.
"But... But what are you doing?!" She shrieked. "Kakashi-sensei...! He..!"
"...Never said anything about leaving you bound." Naruto said calmly. "If we left you bound, you would be all cramped and stiff and wouldn't be able to help us much in that state." He explained patiently.
"Oh..." Sakura said in small voice, rubbing her wrists.
Naruto gave a sideways glance to Sasuke who was holding his lunch and starig at the two of them with a frown.
'Come on, Uchiha.' The blond thought. 'Work with me here. Teamwork. I cut her off because she would be a hindrance if she lacked the full combat capability... Come on! If you're half as smart as they suggest you are...'
"Here." Sasuke siad curtly, giving part of his lunch ot Sakura. "Eat."
'And who says sessions with a shrink can't help you?' Naruto smirked. 'I think I owe Sanae a present just for that.
"S-S-Sasuke...kun?" Sakura's eyes were wider than saucers. Even he rinner self was completely silent. "B-but...! Y-You..." She blushed fiercely. "You really..."
"If you're hungry you won't be of any use to us, that's all." The Uchiha snapped.
"But...! He will fail y-"
"I can't sense him anywhere. He must have left." Sasuke shrugged.
'Yeah, because a genin can sense an elite level jounin who wants to hide no problem.' Naruto rolled his eyes. 'Seriously, Uchiha. What planet are you from?'
"Oh..." She nodded. 'Sasuke... SO COOL!' Her Inner Self swooned.
There was a rapid explosion of an overpowered shunshin.
"YOU GUYS...!" bellowed the outraged Copycat.
Sakura shrieked, though Naruto noticed with amusement that she clutched her bento, instead of dropping it. Sasuke glared at the jounin.
"...pass!" Kakashi finished cheerfuly.
'Script. Defienetely script. I can fucking BET on it!' The blond thought with a twitching eyebrow.
*
'Well, that was a real waste of time.' Naruto sighed, liting a cigarette and stretching. 'Thoguh that fight with my Kage bunshin... I wonder if Kakashi knows I dispelled it on purpose? Damn. Even fighting without his sharingan, with both of us holding back, there is still such a gap... I thoguht I'd catch up to him, but it seems I was wrong.'
Naruto blinked, looking at Sakura.
"Huh?" He said eloquently.
"Umm... Could you tell us somsething? About Kakashi-sensi, I mean?" She repeated her previous question. "I mean... He didn't exactly tell us anything and you two seem to know each other and..."
"You knew the answers to the test." Sasuke said bluntly. "How?"
"Kakashi used to be my commander after graduation. He uses the same test each time." Naruto shrugged.
"So why didn't you tell us?" Uchiha's black eyes narrowed. "He could have failed us! If we knew before hand-"
"First off, he forbade me to. Second... What would you do? Team up from the start? I don't think so. Until Kakashi handed you your ass without breaking a sweat, me and Haruno here were just hindrances to you. You needed to see us as useful resource and allies first."
"If I knew you were under his command beforehand I-!"
"Had you even bothered to ASK?" Naruto snapped. "You had all the data you needed. You KNEW I was older, I said as much during the introduction and I wasn't in your class, meaning I graduated earlier. It was a safe bet to assume I already was a genin, with at elast a year of experience under my belt. You had hints I knew Kakashi beforehand from our interaction. Yet you didn't even bother to do an elementary thing and gather neccesary data at all, preferring to go for the glorious frontal assault almost at once." Naruto said dryly.
"Don't talk to Sasuke-kun like that!" Sakura snapped at the blond.
Naruto shook his head with exasperation.
"Forget it." He muttered, before looking at the two irrititated genin. "About tomorrow's meeting - you can come at least hour and a half later than the time Kakashi gave you. He's never on time and usually about two hours late."
Sasuke's eyes widened as the blond canished in the poof of smoke.
'Konoha Shunshin...?!' He thought incredosuly. 'And... Damn but it was fast! It took more chakra than my Goukyaku no jutsu!'
The blond was annoying and something abotu him just rubbed Sasuke in the wrong way, but if he really was as experienced as he suggested...
'This Team 7... It might be actually worth it.' The Uchiha scion thought grudingly. 'At elast they aren't all completely useless.'
"Sasuke-k-"
"No." The Uchiha snapped curtly, his eyebrow twitching.
'Almost.'
*
As you can see, the test seems to be very similar. Seems to be, anyway. I wrote it down as a set up to explain their further interaction. Naruto tested Kakashiw ith his Kage Bunshin, watched Team 7, catalogued, observed and watched some more.
And found that Sasuke is a damn troublesome charge to guard. Not that it's a surprise
The flashback - that's Naruto's former team. Kazuya, the stoic, dry and fearless swordsman with penchant for cute things and obsessive love of sweets. Saya. Who would be cute if not for a fact she was a fucking loon obsessed with taijutsu to the point she'd make Lee look tame. About the only person she tereated without hostility mixed with contempt was Naruto, whom she treated as the 'kid' of the team, called 'cute' and glomped under every possible pretext. The Stalking Tiger will be featured - Naruto learned the basics. Not like he needs taijutsu much, he is a freaking walking armory anyway.
As you can see, Naruto looks to be on neutral ground with Kakashi. Or tries to be for the sake of the mission. Meaning there is some trash talk, but they work together more or less without problems. Until Kakashi steps over the line, that is. Like with the memorial.
Since it was judged a 'mistake', Kazuya is disgraced and his name jhave never been put on the monument. Whcih pisess Naruto off to no end since the swordsman basic ally sacrificed hsi life for Saya and Naruto, to give them the window of opportunity to escape.
Bad karma for Kakashi to pick this spot.
Naruto obviously knows the Kage Bunshin, and it's little feature. It is one of the reasons he mastered, or at least learned to be proficient in, so many of his weapons.
He makes a kage bunshin for each and lets them train the skills every time he trains. That's how he can learn to wield several weapons at the same time. That's one of the reasons he is so proficient with so many different weapons after barely three years.
Comments?
Seriously. And I had an exam in the morning, too.
Typos. Yeah. There are typos.
This chapter is a one giant test.
Kakashi tests Team 7. Naruto tests Team 7. Kakashi tests Naruto. Kakashi tests Sasuke.
Sasuke and Kakashi test Naruto's patience.
Sakura tests Sasuke's tolerance.
Haku schemes in very Haku way. Tsume schemes in very UN Tsume way. Un-Inuzuka way, too.
Naruto is clueless. Hana plays the fall gal.
And Haku sips the sake and giggles in a very omnious way. Still refined, though.
*
Operator
Chapter 5
"Tests for all." (Yes, it is a shameless 'justice for all' ripoff, what of it?)
*
"You're...what?" Naruto said, his eyes wide.
"Getting married." Uzuki sipped her sake calmly.
"Oh." He sat down, dumbly. "That's... well, isn't it kind of sudden?" He said lamely. "I mean, Hayate's Intelligence, you're ANBU captain..."
"Hatate is leaving the Intelligence. My tour of duty lasts only till the end of this spring."
"Ah." He nodded slowly. "Man... That's a surprise." He admitted. "Isn't it kind of sudden?"
"Not really." she shrugged. "We've been talking and... Well, two years is more than long eough. And I know Hayate wants kids. So do I. What's the point of drawing this out?"
"When you out it that way..." The blond muttered thoughtfully. "What about your team?"
"I've talked with Sayoko recently and I think she'll make a good captain. Kanna agrees, so there should be no problems there."
"Sayoko, huh?" Naruto frowned. "Not a bad choice."
The violet haired woman nodded.
"Well, all I can say is congratulations, you two." The blond smiled. "Damn. I still rememebr your first meeting... Who would have thought?"
Yuugao blushed lightly.
"We promised not to speak of this again." She hissed with embarassment.
"But it was such fu-"
"Not a word, Uzumaki!" She growled.
"Okay, okay!" He raised his arms apolegtically. "Not a word. I get it."
They sipped their sake in silence, until Naruto opened his mouth, only to stiffen and relax immideatly as a shunshin ended.
"Naruto." Coughed bewildered Hayate. "Lost your mask?"
"Actually, I'm incognito." The blond siad dryly. "So I left my face home."
"Ah." The sick-looking man coughed again.
"Hayate... I love you like a brother but... Please, for kami's sake... Go to Haku and get something for that chronic cough."
"Why?" The man coughed again.
"Because it's damn annoying?"
"And to end up with those cigarettes of yours? No thank you. *cough*." The jounin sat next to his fiancee.
"First of, cigs were not Haku's idea, but Tsunade's." The blond pointed out. "And you've got that chronic cough thing going. I doubt she'd give you high level chakra stabilisers for that."
"I'll pass. *cough*." He eyed the katana. "I see you have it with you."
Naruto bilned, before grabbing th sword.
"Sorry." He muttered, gettign ready to store the weapon back.
"No." Hayate grabbed his hand. "Don't. It is... good to see it used."
"Okay." Naruto nodded slowly, as Hayate let go of his arm.
"Did Yugao tell you about the...?"
"Wedding? Yeah. She dropped that on me already." The blond grinned. "Finally making a honest woman out of her, Hayate?"
"As if you're the one to talk. *cough*"
"I'm kind of young for that." The blond shrugged. "Besides, it's not like I can marry them both anyway."
"Actaully, you can." Yugao took a sip of her sake. "You'd just need to marry Hana first."
"What?" The blond looked at her incredously.
"Inuzuka are nobles. Multiple-partner marriages are not as common as they used to be, but they happen." The woman said calmly.
"Hana might be a nobility, but I'm not." Naruto pointed out.
"It doesn't matter in that case. The law states that higher status overrides lower. If you married her, you'd have equal status, making you nobility as well. Then you could marry Haku."
"People actually do that?" Naruto said in amazement.
"Pretty much." Yugao shrugged. "Nidaime Hokage had three wives. Yondaime himself was bethrothed to two at one point, if I rememebr correctly. One from Konoha, one from Iwa. Obviously for political reasons, but he'd marry them both if not for his untimely death."
"Wow. I didn't know that." Naruto muttered with a frown.
"As I said, it's not common, but it still happens." She turned to Hayate. "And for your sake you'd better NOT be thinking about a second wife, dear."
"Ah... no. No. You're more than enough for me." Hayate coughed. "You're the light of my life, how could I look at another?"
"Good choice of words." The ANBU woman smiled serenly.
"Coward." Naruto grinned at the swordsman.
"Laugh all you want." Hayate looked at him with a smirk. "I'll be the one laughing at your wedding. Loudly."
"Feh. As if." Naruto leaned into his seat. "Inuzuka wouldn't let me marry her and you know it. She's not only a noble, but also the Clan Heiress and I'm the village pariah with a demon in my stomach. I'm amazed I didnt' have an official 'delegation' of Inuzuka politely warning me to stay the hell away form her by now. They might tolerate me as things stand, but marriage? No. They won't let it happen."
Yugao raised one eyebrow.
'That's what you think.' She thought with an inward smirk, remembring her last outing with Tsume and their casual conversation. Almost TOO casual. With far too many questions about a certian blond. Personal ones. 'That's what you think.'
"Anyway. *cough*. How about being my best man?"
Naruto blinked owlishly.
"Uh... excuse me?"
*
"Hello, Naruto-sama. How was your day?" Haku smiled as he walked in.
"You know..." He frowned. "I have no idea."
She raised an eyebrow.
"Well I had the meeting with Kakashi and the Team 7, so that's kind of... low point." He muttered. "On the other hand, I've just been asked to be a best man."
Haku blinked.
"On Yugao and Hatyate's wedding. Both of them."
"Oh my. They are getting married?" Haku said happily. "So Yugao-san really wen through with that."
"Huh?" He looked at her bewlidered.
"Naruto-sama... Really." She shook her head with a smile. "Do you honestly think Hayate-san would ask her himself? Don't you rememeber how they started dating?"
"Oh. Point." He nodded.
Uzuki Yugao and Gekko Hayate were... well, not enemies, but certianly not friends. Then they had that diastorous mission tha ended in arather bizzare way, with feathers, silk, shredded uniforms and mutual embarassment. And Hayate blanching each time he saw Yugao.
Yugao was a very sensible person. Really. She didn't hold the accident against Hayate. The 'deer in the headlights' look he dispalyed each time he saw her, on the toher hand, she did.
For a rather calm, near emotionless gal, Yugao could be damn scary when she wanted to.
She decided he needed to get over the fear ina simple and very direct method. She walked to him, cornered him and delcared in her normal deapan that he was to take her on a date and show her a good time. Or else.
It was one of the oddest courtships he had ever witnessed. Not that he witnessed a lot of them. But sitll, the only odder pair he knew of were Kyo and Yashiro.
"Wait. You've spoken with Yugao about that?" He blinked.
"Well she does come along often." Haku shrugged. "And Hana is not much for a girl talk."
"Ain't that the truth." Inzuka heiress came to the room, a pack over her shoulder. "All that stuff bores me to tears."
"What's with the pack?" Naruto asked curiously.
"Mom's kicking me out. That idiot Shinji wrecked left wing training with Sotorou and I don't exactly have a room anymore. You've got a lot of room so I thought I'd move in."
"Uh... sure, but... Inuzuka compound is damn huge. Why not just take another room in a different wing?" Naruto scratched his neck.
"We've got guests. Some bigwigs from the capital, apparently blood related in some distant way and some frilly little strumpet from Daimyo's court." Hana frowned, clearly irritated. "They comandeered most of the space like you wouldn't believe. I can't believe that mom let them!"
"Nobles?" Haku raised an eyebrow. "That's surprising. And if there is a Lady from Daimyo's court... They don't leave the Court without a very good reason."
"It better not be some kind of omiai, or somebody will be in a world of hurt." Growled the Inuzuka heiress.
"Omiai?" Naruto and Haku looked at each other bewildered.
"Granny and aunty Sanae had been harping around for past year that I need to 'uuphold the Inuzuka name' and 'do my duty'. Meaning marriage to some noble fuck I've never even met." She scowled. "As if!"
"Isn't your clan more free-wheeling about that stuff?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "From what I remember, you told me your clan intermarries with commoners reguarily and it's no big deal."
"Yeah. But I'm the heiress." Hana grimaced. "Besides, they've been complaning that as an ANBU, my life is dangerous and I could die any moment. Bro is going to be a ninja too, so they want me to at least secure the family line." She growled. "That and they say I'll be an old maid if I don't marry soon." A vein bulged on her forehead. "Old maid! Can you imagine that? I'm barely seventeen, for kami's sake!"
"Ah... Hana... For a noble familiy you are well into marriage age." Haku said carefully. "Nobles usually marry young and tend to have a child or two well before hitting their early twenties."
"Oh HELL no!" Hana scowled. "Besides, I'm bonded to the blondie anyway. Not like I can marry someone else even if I wanted to."
Naruto blinked.
"Bonded?"
Hana froze, blanching.
'Oh... crap...'
*
"So... We are... 'bonded'." Naruto said slowly.
"Yeah." Hana nodded miserably.
"For good."
"Yeah."
"Permanently."
"Yeah."
"And that means..."
"Yeah." Hana hung her head.
"Oh." Naruto looked at Hana, blinking owlishly. "I think I need a drink."
"Yeah."
Haku smiled serenly, puttig two bowls of first grade alchol before them and pouring herself a third.
"Kampai!" She said cheerfuly.
"Cheerful, ain't she?" Hana muttered.
"Yup."
"Why, we shall be even closer now. Isn't it a reason enough for happines?" Haku blinked innocently.
Hana and Naruto just stared.
"Have I told you that that girl sincerly scares me sometimes?" Hana said to Naruto seriously.
"Don't worry." He patted her shoulder. "There are times she scares me too."
"Ah. Good to know."
In unison, they down their alcohol without a blink.
Haku smiled fiantly.
'I wonder if they noticed the service they are drinking from?' Haku thought with amusment. 'Uzumaki Haku... Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Inuzuka wouldn't be bad as well...'
They wouldn't get married right away, of course. But something more official would be nice. Naruto-sama needed some stability and it would be rather nice...
'I must thank Yugao-san somehow.' She thought with a giggle.
Hana and Naruto ignored the odd shiver going down their backs and just poured themselves another shot.
*
"I am beginning to utterly hate that man."
The utter calm of the delivered phrase made Naruto's stand on his neck. Even Kazuya, usually too proud to even admit something like fear exists for him, halted his kunai-sharpening.
Being the hot-blooded, rash and brash type, Saya was NEVER calm.. Or rather she was never calm unless she planned bloody murder. She also never used poper, ladylike language and grammar forms. When she slipped into that and stopped using contractions, it meant she was pissed off beyond belief.
The appearing cloud of smoke interrupted Naruto's slow descent into terror.
"Yo." single visible eye was upturned in Hatake's version of a cheerful smile. "Sorry I was late, I got lost on the road of life."
Naruto slowly backed away from the clearing as Saya got up, carefully dustng of her silks with dainty, ladylike move.
Kazuya dropped his kunai along with pretenses and started to back off from the nearby vicinity of soon-to-be-dead jounin.
"Kakashi-dono..." The dulcet tone was sweet, sacharinne and worthy of best geisha. "You should not have worried over us. Verily, is it not learnerÆs duty to await patiently for the wisdom of their teacher?"
Naruto blanched.
Flowery speech... Lack of contractions. Saya was going for a meltdown all right.
Even Kakashi must have noticed the creepy vibes going off from Saya.
"Right..." He blinked as she gigled softly, her mouth hidden behind her hand demurely. "Anyway, the test is to get those" He showed two small bells "from me until the time limit expires." He took a small hourglass from his pocket and put it on the stone.
"Ara, ara?" Saya's eyes were wide, her face a picture of polite confusion "Forgive this unworthy one... But there seem to be only two bells, Kakashi-dono."
Kazuya went pale and started to lift his katana with his thumb verey few seconds, creating maddeing, whiny sound as the steel clacked and moved from the scabbard and back, which meant he was getting really agitated. Only at this reveleation Naruto noticed that his hands were uncosciously trying to form first seal of the Kawarimi.
Kakashi, meanwhile, was digging himself a bigger hole with each second without a care in the world.
"Precisely." He said cheerfully. "I advise you to come with the intent to kill, otherwise, you will fail."
"Oh..." Both hands went to SayaÆs face, as she put a look of scandalised agitation that wouldnÆt be out of place in Fire Coutry DaimyoÆs court. "But, we might hurt you..."
KakashiÆs smile got a little wider and Naruto could actually see the mask stretching a little to accompany the eye.
"DonÆt worry about m..." The explosion took even Kazuya and Naruto by surprise, and they were ready for it.
The debris, dust and broken earth from SayaÆs punch obsucred the spot Kakshi was barely a second before.
"DonÆt worry, Kakashi-dono..." Kazuya raised an eyebrow, surveying the devastation. "SHE wonÆt." He said gesturing at the figure carefully brushing off her silks.
Kakashi stood few meters away, judging from his bugged eye, seriously freaked, his hands still in seal ending Kawarimi no Jutsu.
"Ara ara... Kakashi-dono... It is not nice to leave womanÆs presence with such haste... She might feel unwanted... And not saying goodbye is so dreadfully impolite." Saya admonished demurely.
"You should not do that, Kakashi-dono. Although it pains this unworthy one to chastise one as august as you, you seem to lack some crucial manners. Please, allow me to educate you."
SayaÆs eyes lit with the familiar insane glint as she entered the Stalking Tiger, her favourite version of Koken, snapping her arms in a fast, circular move that revealed the spiked forearm guards she had under her silk blouse.
"Kakashi-dono..." She said softly, the energy backlash accompanying the release of Initial Gate washed over the training area as her mouth contronted into a frighteningly cold mockery of a polite smile that was SayaÆs version of a berserker snarl. "Please... Just die for me?"
*
Naruto's eyes snapped open as he stiffened, before relaxing.
'Memories... Huh?' He thought surveing the familiar training ground. 'This place... It didn't change at all.'
He looked at the memorial stone, his mouth tightening as he read the lines of names, lacking that single, lone name
'Hero memorial... what a bunch of crap!' He snorted, turning away. 'No place for failiures, isn't it, you bastards? Fucking hypocrites.'
He reached for a cigarette with a sigh.
'I shouldn't have taken this mission. It was stupid. Even this place... This stupid place...' He lit the herbal concotion. 'No backing out now, though.' He looked at the memorial. "Don't worry. I won't fail. I gave my word, after all. And I always keep it. Always." He muttered. "Sooner or later... Yeah. Just wait until then."
He took a long drag, rasing an eyebrow as he felt two chakra signatures closing in slowly.
'Wool gathering is over, it seems. Just as well. Being introspective... Not me at all.' His lips quitrked a fiant smile. 'Mission... start.'
*
"Where is he?!" Sakura muttered angrily. 'Honestly! It's just like the last time! Three hours late... Is he really a jounin?'
Not that she minded spending time alone with Sasuke-kun, but...
'Well, almost alone.' She frowned.
Uzumaki sat on the ground, engrossed in his book, yet another of his seemingly endless supply of those strange smelling sigarettes in his mouth.
'what is he, eating that smoke?' She thoguht with irrituation. 'Each time I see him, he always smokes. And he's rude too. Though...' She looked at the blond discreetely. 'He is so familiar. I KNOW I've seen him somwhere before but... He said he's older, so maybe I rememebr him from the academy. Maybe Kakashi-sensei will know? Those two seems to know each other.'
"Want something, Haruno?"
She blinked.
"You've been staring at me for quite some time now. Want something?" He closed his book, putting it into the pouch on his back.
"Ah.. No. I just... I'm not sure..." She gave him an apolegtic smile. "But... I seem to rememebr you. We... Have we met? In the Academy, I mean. I know that you graduated a year earlier since you're thirteen but..."
The blond opened his mouth..
'Finally.' He sighed as a poof of Konoha Shunshin announced Kakashi's presence.
"Yo." Kakashi's eye smiled. "I got lost on the road of life."
Naruto's eyebrow twitched.
'He REALLY has this whole thing memorized. He has to. Goddamn, you, can't you go original for once you asshole?'
*
He could have mentioned the whole 'bell test' thing to his 'team'. Sure.
But there was no point.
He didn't know how Haruno compared, but he read enough about Sasuke and he knew the type.
Unless the Uchiha learned of the vast gap between himself and the jounin, he'd never agree to cooperate with the rest of them.
'Well, at elast they didn't try to face him head on.' He sigghed.
"Shouldn't you be hiding, Naruto?" The jounin said cheerfuly.
"Uzumaki, bastard. Uzumaki." The blond said with annoyance. "Honestly, is your memory going, Copycat?"
The jounin arched an eyebrow. "Are you planning on facing me head on?"
"Do I look suicidical to you?" Naruto exhaled the smoke and threw the remnants of the cigarette away. "I've just been waiting to finish my smoke."
The copycat sighed.
"I think I told you to stop." He muttered. "You know, you won't be able to hide now. The fresh remnants of smoke cling to you and will fro some time." Kakashi's eye upturned in his version of a cheerful smile. "I have almost as good sense of smell as a member of the Inuzuka Clan. You won't be able to hide, Naruto."
"Sure, sure, whatever you say." The blond waved his arm dismissively, heading for the trees lazily. "And it's Uzumaki to you, asshole."
"Naruto." The blond turned at Kakashi's voice. "You know this test. Unless they figure it out on their own... You can't interfere."
The blond just shrugged, before walking into the shrubs.
Kakashi's eye widened.
'His scent... Vanished? But...'
He nodded to himslef slowly.
'Seems like you learned a few things, Naruto.' He smiled under his mask. 'This just might be interesting.'
*
Naruto palmed his face as he watched the effects of Kakashi using Shinju Zanshu on Sasuke.
'That moron! Facing a jounin head on?' He hung his head. 'Does he lack self-preservation instincts or something?' Naruto rubbed his temples. 'And I'm to protect him? With him cheerfuly rushing to face dangers without care in the world, Orochimaru is going to be the least of my problems! Goddamit! Such a torublesome brat to guard...'
He looked at The unconscious girl next o him.
'And that Haruno... One little genjutsu and she falls to pieces. And it wan't even a C-level one. Geez...'
He loosened Jougen in it's scabbard.
'No way around it, I guess...'
Kakashi's in the clearing... I can't retrieve Sasuke. I thoguht he would come here looking for me, but that's not his style at all. Lazy bastard.' He frowned. 'I can't retrieve Sasuke like that and time is running out quickly. Still, with Kakashi int he clearing... Hmm... But... There are ways around it.' He smirked. 'Let's give you an incentive, shall we?'
*
Kakashi looked up form his Icha Icha.
'Oh? Naruto, hmm? Playing bait?' He closed the book. 'Drawing me into his own tritory, which means traps and surprise tactics. But the trap is useless if somebody springs it on his own leisure.' He shook his head, performing a shunshin. 'You've stil got a lot to learn.'
*
'Go after me, Hatake. Run after me. The other me, that is.' Naruto grinned, grabbing Sakura. 'Because if you're so far away I can perform the Shunshin without you sensing it. And get all of the side benefits.'
With a single seal, he was off.
*
'As I thought, traps. But... There is something off about them. I can't quite place it, but...' He frowned,before halting.
"Hmm...?" He turned to look at the blond stranding on the branch. Weren't you the one that said he has no suicidical tendencies, Naruto?"
"Uzumaki, bastard. U.ZU.MA.KI." Naruto sighed. "If you keep calling me so famliarly, I think I'll finally snap."
"Your lack of patience hasn't changed. I thought ANBU would cure that. But it seems I was wrong."
Kakashi settled into a loose stance as Naruto drew his katana with a snort before leaping into attack.
*
"Yo."
Sasuke glared at the blond.
"I see you got stuck." Naruto drew his katana. "Don't move. I'll get you out."
"I don't need your help!" Sasuke hissed, struggling to get out of the trap.
"Oh shut up." Naruto rolled his eyes. "And unless you want to get cut, be still."
Grinding his teeth, Sasuke none the less ceased his struggle.
Naruto cocked his head.
"Hmm. The ground seems weaker to the side. Propably the side effect of the dig. Okay." He raised the katana.
Sasuke frowned.
'What is he...?'
The blond slept the sword in a lightning-fast slash, digging deep into the ground and then drawing a circle around Saskue with two arcing slashes.
Sasuke's eyes widened as he felt the earth around his limps loosen.
'No way... This... Was it strenght?' He blinked. 'No. There would be gouges, but the earth is looser. How?'
"Well?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.
Sasuke grunted, digging himself out now that the ground was looser.
"You... What kind of jutsu did you use?" He demanded, shaking off the dirt.
"Not a jutsu, Uchiha. Vibration." Sasuke's eyes widened as he saw the dirt fall away from the sword without Naruto moving the hand even an inch. It was minute, almost unnoticeable but the blade WAS vibrating ever so slightly.
"How do you do that?" He said with narrowed eyes.
"If you have a weapon that can channel chakra, little vibration is nothing." The blond shrugged.
'I see. Chakra blade.' Sasuke thought with dissapointment. 'A pity. That kind of jutsu might have been useful.' He frowned. 'But where did a genin get a chakra blade? Those are expensive. Very expensive.'
"Muuh... SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura jumped up, awaking from her forceful slumber.
She blinked as she saw both Naruto and Sasuke in front of her, looking at her with bewilderement.
"SASUKE-KUN!" She sqealed. "You're alive! I was so worried!" She sniffled. "I thought... I saw..."
"So that's what he used. Clever bastard." Naruto chuckled, before stiffening. 'Already? Damn. I overestimated the time!'
"Okay. Enough. Since we are all together now, we can do it right." He turned to the genin cadidates. "I..."
He cursed as he felt Kakashi's shunshin.
"Time's up!" Kakashi's eye upturned cheerufly.
Naruto looked at the hourglass on the tombstone and his eyes widened a fraction.
'That bastard... It seems he DID change things, after all.'
Kakashi looked at him calmly and Naruto smiled mirthlessly.
'So you can go original, Copycat. This round goes to you.'
*
"For the two of you... there is no need to go back to the academy."
Sakura started smiling, her inner self dancing a happy jig even as the ropes chaffed her hips and wrists.
'Seriously, he didn't need to do it so tightly!' She thought with irritation. 'Well, at least we pas-
"You should quite being ninja. Right here. Right now."
'We... Failed...?' Saskura thought dumbly. "B-but... Quit?"
'I knew it. Hindrances. Even that new guy.' Sasuke snorted. 'Useless.'
"You shouldn't be so happy, Sasuke." Kakashi's apathetic eye looked at the Uchiha. "One of the two who should quit... Is you."
Sasuke froze, looking at the jounin incredously.
'But... I fought him! I almost HAD those bells! Sakura got knocked out at once, and that guy... He didn't even fight!'
With a snarl he reached for his kunai, sending several at Kakashi before grabbing another, lunging at the jounin.
Naruto sighed as Kakashi effortlessly avoided the projectile and grabbed Sasuke's wrist mid-stab, redirecting the momentum and sending him tot he ground, his foot on Uchiha's back, both of the boy's hands locked under the heel of the jounin's sandal.
"And that's why I told you to quit." Kakashi said lazily.
"At.. least..I... am not a COWARD." Sasuke spat angrily, trying to to slip away from the uncofortable hold.
"Coward?" The jounin leaned forward. "Is it cowardice to hide from a superior opponent? Hmm? And that's what shinobi do, you know. Hide. Plan." He drawled. "Not attack a vastly superior opponent head on unles they have any other choice." His gaze hardened. "You two... Why do you think you were divided into teams of three? Why do you think you are doing this excersise? Do you know the answer to that?"
Sakura blinked.
"Answer...?"
'Here we go...' He thought, liting a fresh cigarette with a sigh.
"The answer... is teamwork." Kakashi said seriously. "The three of you working together could have gotten the bells."
"But... You're a jounin. And you defeated Sasuke-kun. What would that help?" Sakura siad hesitantly.
"In theory, a well coordinated group of three people should be enough to bring down even a vastly superior opponent." Naruto said lazily. "That's why genin are divided into team of three. With proper strategy, tactics and teamwork, three genin should equal one jounin. Theoretically."
The pink haired girl frowned, before her eyes widened.
"But... Teamork doesn't help here! There are only two bells!" She shouted. "Even if we get them, one of us will still fail!"
"Naturally." Kakashi shrugged. "The test was designed to see if you can put away the personal concerns for the sake of the mission." He shook his head, looking at Sasuke.
"Instead of gathering knowledge and support, you assumed others will get in the way and went for frontal assault. That's not how a ninja fights." He turned to Sakura. "You just started to look for Sasuke right away, not even bothering to set traps or looking for Naruto despite the fact that searching for Naruto would be better. I doubt you'd find him, but since you knew that Sasuke was next to me, Naruto would be safer choice. Instead you went for Sasuke without a thought. You two... Quit. As ninja you two are worthless."
"But.. but...!" Sakura protested, beofre blinking. "Two of us?"
"Well it's not like I can demote an actual ninja, now can I?" Kakashi shrugged, before letting Sasuke go.
Sakura's eyes widened and Saskue scowled, dusting himself off as he looked as the blond.
"Individual ability is important, but teamwork even more so. As Naruto said, you are divided in teams for a reason. If there is no teamwork, one action by a disruptive individual can mean faliure and death. Just like that." Suddenly he grabbed Sasuke, putting Kunai to his neck. "Naruto! Kill Sakura or Sasuke dies!"
The blond's eye twitched as Sakura yelped.
'That bastard...! He's making fun of me!' His teeth gritted.
"See?" Kakashi sighed. "Mistakes can be made. Hostages can be taken, and suddenly people around you die. Life of a ninja means you'll be constantly facing difficulet decisons and death. You will be risking your life constantly. That's what it means to be shinobi." He let go of Sasuke turning to the memorial. "Look at the names on this stone. The names... All of them are recognized as her-"
Kakashi stiffened as he felt a sharp stab or raw killer intent and turned quickly to see two pools of blue glaring at him.
'Oh. Now that is new.' Kakashi thought, his eye getting a little bit wider.
"Don't you dare to finish that spiel, Copycat. Not a word." Naruto's voice wasn't the old, raw fury from three years before. It was cold, focused and almost emotionless save for overwhelming certanity that he would act on his words. He knew that dead tone well from his time in ANBU.
'Still with that old grudge, I see...' The Copy Nin sighed.
"I'm giving you one more chance." He looked at Team 7. "But this time, I'm going to make it harder. Just so you know. You may eat the lunch that I left behind But don't you dare to give any to Sakura. It is her punishhment for falling prey to basic genjutsu like she did."
The pink haired girl hung her head in shame.
"If you give her food, I'll fail you immideatly. Got it?" The jounin cautioned. "I'll be back soon. Eat and rest a little." He 'poofed' away with a shunshin.
Naruto frowned.
'Erased his presence... Unless I do a full active sweep I won't be able to find him. Damn... I KNOW he's here! Bastard. Hate to admit it, but he's very good.' He scowled, before cutting Sakura away from the pole.
"But... But what are you doing?!" She shrieked. "Kakashi-sensei...! He..!"
"...Never said anything about leaving you bound." Naruto said calmly. "If we left you bound, you would be all cramped and stiff and wouldn't be able to help us much in that state." He explained patiently.
"Oh..." Sakura said in small voice, rubbing her wrists.
Naruto gave a sideways glance to Sasuke who was holding his lunch and starig at the two of them with a frown.
'Come on, Uchiha.' The blond thought. 'Work with me here. Teamwork. I cut her off because she would be a hindrance if she lacked the full combat capability... Come on! If you're half as smart as they suggest you are...'
"Here." Sasuke siad curtly, giving part of his lunch ot Sakura. "Eat."
'And who says sessions with a shrink can't help you?' Naruto smirked. 'I think I owe Sanae a present just for that.
"S-S-Sasuke...kun?" Sakura's eyes were wider than saucers. Even he rinner self was completely silent. "B-but...! Y-You..." She blushed fiercely. "You really..."
"If you're hungry you won't be of any use to us, that's all." The Uchiha snapped.
"But...! He will fail y-"
"I can't sense him anywhere. He must have left." Sasuke shrugged.
'Yeah, because a genin can sense an elite level jounin who wants to hide no problem.' Naruto rolled his eyes. 'Seriously, Uchiha. What planet are you from?'
"Oh..." She nodded. 'Sasuke... SO COOL!' Her Inner Self swooned.
There was a rapid explosion of an overpowered shunshin.
"YOU GUYS...!" bellowed the outraged Copycat.
Sakura shrieked, though Naruto noticed with amusement that she clutched her bento, instead of dropping it. Sasuke glared at the jounin.
"...pass!" Kakashi finished cheerfuly.
'Script. Defienetely script. I can fucking BET on it!' The blond thought with a twitching eyebrow.
*
'Well, that was a real waste of time.' Naruto sighed, liting a cigarette and stretching. 'Thoguh that fight with my Kage bunshin... I wonder if Kakashi knows I dispelled it on purpose? Damn. Even fighting without his sharingan, with both of us holding back, there is still such a gap... I thoguht I'd catch up to him, but it seems I was wrong.'
Naruto blinked, looking at Sakura.
"Huh?" He said eloquently.
"Umm... Could you tell us somsething? About Kakashi-sensi, I mean?" She repeated her previous question. "I mean... He didn't exactly tell us anything and you two seem to know each other and..."
"You knew the answers to the test." Sasuke said bluntly. "How?"
"Kakashi used to be my commander after graduation. He uses the same test each time." Naruto shrugged.
"So why didn't you tell us?" Uchiha's black eyes narrowed. "He could have failed us! If we knew before hand-"
"First off, he forbade me to. Second... What would you do? Team up from the start? I don't think so. Until Kakashi handed you your ass without breaking a sweat, me and Haruno here were just hindrances to you. You needed to see us as useful resource and allies first."
"If I knew you were under his command beforehand I-!"
"Had you even bothered to ASK?" Naruto snapped. "You had all the data you needed. You KNEW I was older, I said as much during the introduction and I wasn't in your class, meaning I graduated earlier. It was a safe bet to assume I already was a genin, with at elast a year of experience under my belt. You had hints I knew Kakashi beforehand from our interaction. Yet you didn't even bother to do an elementary thing and gather neccesary data at all, preferring to go for the glorious frontal assault almost at once." Naruto said dryly.
"Don't talk to Sasuke-kun like that!" Sakura snapped at the blond.
Naruto shook his head with exasperation.
"Forget it." He muttered, before looking at the two irrititated genin. "About tomorrow's meeting - you can come at least hour and a half later than the time Kakashi gave you. He's never on time and usually about two hours late."
Sasuke's eyes widened as the blond canished in the poof of smoke.
'Konoha Shunshin...?!' He thought incredosuly. 'And... Damn but it was fast! It took more chakra than my Goukyaku no jutsu!'
The blond was annoying and something abotu him just rubbed Sasuke in the wrong way, but if he really was as experienced as he suggested...
'This Team 7... It might be actually worth it.' The Uchiha scion thought grudingly. 'At elast they aren't all completely useless.'
"Sasuke-k-"
"No." The Uchiha snapped curtly, his eyebrow twitching.
'Almost.'
*
As you can see, the test seems to be very similar. Seems to be, anyway. I wrote it down as a set up to explain their further interaction. Naruto tested Kakashiw ith his Kage Bunshin, watched Team 7, catalogued, observed and watched some more.
And found that Sasuke is a damn troublesome charge to guard. Not that it's a surprise
The flashback - that's Naruto's former team. Kazuya, the stoic, dry and fearless swordsman with penchant for cute things and obsessive love of sweets. Saya. Who would be cute if not for a fact she was a fucking loon obsessed with taijutsu to the point she'd make Lee look tame. About the only person she tereated without hostility mixed with contempt was Naruto, whom she treated as the 'kid' of the team, called 'cute' and glomped under every possible pretext. The Stalking Tiger will be featured - Naruto learned the basics. Not like he needs taijutsu much, he is a freaking walking armory anyway.
As you can see, Naruto looks to be on neutral ground with Kakashi. Or tries to be for the sake of the mission. Meaning there is some trash talk, but they work together more or less without problems. Until Kakashi steps over the line, that is. Like with the memorial.
Since it was judged a 'mistake', Kazuya is disgraced and his name jhave never been put on the monument. Whcih pisess Naruto off to no end since the swordsman basic ally sacrificed hsi life for Saya and Naruto, to give them the window of opportunity to escape.
Bad karma for Kakashi to pick this spot.
Naruto obviously knows the Kage Bunshin, and it's little feature. It is one of the reasons he mastered, or at least learned to be proficient in, so many of his weapons.
He makes a kage bunshin for each and lets them train the skills every time he trains. That's how he can learn to wield several weapons at the same time. That's one of the reasons he is so proficient with so many different weapons after barely three years.
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NarutoHanaHaku = Win