Akamatsuverse Orphaned Ideas

[Lord Raa]

As some of you may be aware, I have lots of ideas. Some work enough for me to post them in a semi-public forum.

Some of them inspire me to the point where I write something for them, but then I run out of inspiration, motivation or just plain interest in the core idea.

In this thread, I will be posting ideas that I have had over the years but can no longer be bothered trying to work on them.

They are all up for grabs if someone is interested in them, though I can't possibly see why they would be. All you need to do is give credit when posting.


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Lustice


By Lord Raa


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Disclaim-me-do: Is it used in a sacrificial context?


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‘I’m not just any old pervert.’ Keitaro Urashima bristled as the admittedly physically attractive girls dismissed him.

“What?” Naru Narusegawa screeched. “Are you serious? How can you suggest that he lives here with us?”

“Naru-sempai does have a point,” Motoko Aoyama said, nodding sagely. “Who knows what kind of perversion he is capable of?”

“But it’s what Granny Hina wanted,” Mitsune Konno countered.

“Well, it’s a shame you don’t like him but it’s not a huge loss,” Haruka Urashima said as she pulled out a cigarette.

“We don’t have to have him here if we don’t want him,” Naru replied, pushing her glasses up her nose.

“Oh but you do,” the smoker smirked evilly, “Because if he doesn’t stay here, the Inn will have to be closed. Unless one of you is willing to take over the manager’s position.”

“As the oldest, I suppose that would fall to me,” Mitsune shrugged.

“So when are you going to fix the leak in the toilet sink?” Haruka asked. “The manager is responsible for the repairs. Of course, if you had to get in handymen, then the rent would have to go up to pay for it.”

“…”

“I thought so. Keitaro, welcome to the Hinata Sou,” the elder Urashima smiled.

“Hi,” Keitaro said unenthusiastically.


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Later that afternoon, Keitaro decided to take a walk around the grounds of the Inn. As he strolled along the veranda, he noticed that Haruka was getting some fresher air.

“So, what do you think, Keitaro?”

“I don’t like it how everyone seems to think that I’m some kind of pervert,” the ronin answered.

“…” the smoking woman cast a questioning gaze at her cousin. “Aren’t you forgetting certain incidents that prevented you from passing your Toudai exams twice?”

“That’s different, and you know it, Aunt Haruka.”

Haruka gave her cousin a quick judo-style chop to the top of his head. “How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Aunt?”

“Ow,” Keitaro whined. “Sorry, but you know that the reasons I failed the Toudai exams weren’t entirely my fault – I couldn’t just let that bank get robbed.”

“True, but don’t you think that you could have waited before you started your career as a vigilante?”

“You can’t stop the fires of justice from burning, Haruka-san,” the ronin said as he took up a noble and heroic pose, his right fist clenched.

Haruka shook her head. “What are we going to do with you, Keitaro?”


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The next day, Keitaro was walking through town with Shinobu to buy some groceries.

“So what course are you thinking of studying at Toudai, Sempai?” the young girl asked.

“I honestly don’t know, Shinobu-chan. I’m not very good at languages or science, so that kinda limits my options,” the ronin answered. “Still, who knows what the future will bring?”

“Hey there little girl,” a rather unsavoury looking man called out as he and his four friends approached Shinobu. “Want to join us for some fun?”

“…” the Hinata Sou’s chef blushed heavily when one of the men cocked his head to one side and declared her to be too cute.

“What are you talking about, she’s like 12,” Keitaro interrupted.

“She knows what we’re on about, so she’s old enough,” the lead sleazebag countered. “Why, you her brother or something? You think that someone as weak as you could beat up four men like us?”

“No,” the bespectacled youth admitted. “But I bet Hentai Kamen could.”

“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha,” one of the letches laughed. “Can you believe that, Aniki? He believes in that urban legend.”

“Let’s just beat the crap out of him and take this lovely young lady back to our place?” the lead man suggested, managing to hide his discomfort at the mention of the vigilante.

Duly obliging, the largest man there punched Keitaro in the stomach and tossed him into an alleyway.

Groaning, Keitaro Urashima lifted himself out of a dirty puddle and looked up. “What happened?”

Looking around, he noticed that Shinobu was nowhere to be found.

“Crap, someone’s taken Shinobu-chan, I’ve got to do something, but how can I fight off four guys?” the ronin asked as he took stock of his surroundings.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the familiar sight of feminine underwear hanging by the window of an above shop apartment. “Perhaps it’s time to bring in the big guns…”


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Shinobu Maehara was huddled up in the corner of a dingy, low cost apartment trying to keep as far away from the quartet of Lolicons as possible.

“Hey, Aniki, which uniform do you think she should wear first?” a greasy skinned man with dirty blonde hair asked as he looked through a closet containing several outfits on coat hangers.

“Hmm…. You know what; I’d like to see her in that Evangelion uniform. Sure, it’s not as cute as some of the local schools, but who doesn’t love Rei?” the leader of the group decided.

Just as another deviant set up the camera on a tripod, the window shattered and a nearly naked young man burst into the room. After making several provocative poses, the masked individual announced his name.

“I am Hentai Kamen and I’m here to dispense justice!” the man with strawberry print panties on his face declared.

“H-hentai Kamen?”

“Yes, prepare to taste defeat!” Keitaro’s alter ego said as he pulled up the sides of his underwear over his shoulders. The change in the position of his underwear allowed, nay, forced the occupants of the room to gain a better idea of just how well endowed Hentai Kamen was.

Shinobu’s face threatened to burst from the blood pressure as she found the image of the vigilante before her compelling and disturbing in equal measure.

“I can’t look away…” she whimpered.

“You disgusting pigs will taste justice!” Hentai Kamen said as he took up a high-legged stance. “Honourable Lusting Fists!”

The four perverts found their lunches rising in their throats as the vigilante started to wiggle his hips salaciously.

“Gah! Get it away!”

“Cannot unsee!”

“My eyes, they burn!”

“BLURRGH!”

That was when Hentai Kamen was able to restrain the quartet of abductors with a lightning fast rope trick that left Shinobu blinking in stunned silence.

“W-who are you?” the blue haired girl asked. “What are you?”

“I am Hentai Kamen, the masked ally of lust and justice or as I like to call it, Lustice,” the scandalously dressed man answered sincerely. “Now young lady, perhaps we should leave before the police arrive?”


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When she arrived back at the Inn, Shinobu explained what had happened to her and how she escaped.

“Wait,” Kitsune interrupted. “You mean to say that Hentai Kamen is real?”

“Yes,” the Lolita chef nodded, her cheeks crimson as she recalled the vigilante’s costume of choice.


And that's where I cut it off because I needed sleep, but forgot where I was going with the whole thing.

 

[Lord Raa]

Have another idea.

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***King Keitaro


By Lord Raa


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Disclaim-me-do: Yeah, I get that a lot.


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Kaolla Su was bouncing around. This was not an uncommon sight; however the reason for her current bout of hyperactivity was out of the ordinary.

You see, the young princess was going home to Molmol and she’d been giving permission to bring her friends with her.

And that little fact had raised the levels of anxiety in the Hinata Sou as it was the first time many of the residents were leaving Japanese territory.

Motoko and Naru weren’t too impressed with the fact that Kaolla was adamant that Keitaro comes with them. It wasn’t that they disliked the ronin, it was more that they wanted some time away from his accidental groping and grabbing.

They weren’t too happy that Keitaro’s aunt had sided against them, but Motoko knew that the Urashimas stuck together and hadn’t pushed the issue.

Naru herself wasn’t complaining too hard. Kaolla’s comment of “It’s all of you or none of you” had taken most of the wind out of her sails. Though part of her, a very small part, she hastened to add, thought that this might be the time that Keitaro finally admitted his feelings for her and their relationship could finally progress from its current stagnation.

And so, the Hinata Gang, as some of the locals called them, departed on the bus for the airport and their exotic foreign holiday.


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The commercial jetliner landed at Molmol’s international airport the next day, leaving Japanese tourists feeling jetlagged.

Kaolla, of course, was her usual fountain of energy, much to the dismay of the others. However, out of politeness, they ignored it – it is considered bad form to chide the person who was funding the holiday for being excited for returning home for the first time in a while.

It wasn’t a huge surprise to see that Keitaro looked like death warmed up when he stepped off the plane and into the dazzlingly bright sunshine.

So bright was the sunshine that the ronin missed the first step on the stairs and started to tumble towards the asphalt below only to land face first on Mitsune’s impressive chest.

“Keitaro-hun, sorry to tell you this, but they’re not designed to be used like airbags,” the ash-blonde deadpanned.

“Ack! I’m sorry, Kitsune, I didn’t mean to, it’s just that the sun was so bright and I couldn’t see where I was putting my feet and then…” the hapless Urashima babbled as he tried to remove himself from his most buxom tenant.

“Yeah, yeah, just remember this when it’s time to collect the rent, Keitaro,” Kitsune said, though her warning tone was marred by the smirk on her face.

“Honestly, Keitaro, we can’t take you anywhere,” Naru scowled. ‘This was why our relationship isn’t going anywhere…’

“Actually, we can, but the second time’s to apologise,” Haruka added. “Now let’s hurry up, I’ve been dieing for a smoke for the last… damn, what time is it?”

“It’s 10:17,” said a helpful flight attendant. “You’ll need to follow the signs to Passport Control and then onto Baggage Claim.”

“Thank you,” Haruka smiled. “Where’s the smoking section?”

“There isn’t one. Molmol doesn’t allow the consumption of tobacco products.”

“B-b-b-b-but I’ve only got this pack here…” the elder Urashima whimpered.

“I’m sorry, but you’ll have to lobby the government to get the law changed,” the flight attendant shrugged.

“Stupid oppressive non-smokers denying me my right to sweet, sweet nicotine,” Haruka grumbled as she made her way through the entrance to the main airport building.


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The Royal Guards at the Palace looked on, rather unimpressed with the young princess’s friends. There was one girl who thought of herself as a samurai maiden, a girl who was rather top heavy, yet had eyes that elicited nothing but suspicion from the uniformed men.

The youngest one seemed like she was overawed by the whole situation, so she was unlikely to cause any trouble, though the eldest one was obviously going through some sort of withdrawal judging by the way her hands were twitching.

Then there was the young man who had somehow managed to fall on top of the girl with the light brown hair as he stepped out of the car.

‘Idiot,’ the two men standing statue-like thought. They were embarrassed to be the same gender as the clumsy oaf that had managed to further grope the woman he’d landed on instead of just getting off.

The guards saluted the youngest member of the Royal Family as she approached.

“Hi guys,” she smiled broadly. “How’s it going?”

“It’s going well, Princess. How can we serve you today?” the senior soldier, a man with brown hair asked.

“I want you to show my friends to their rooms.”

“Yes, Your Highness, right away, Your Highness,” the brown haired solder replied. “Corporal, call for replacement guards.”


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The King of Molmol coughed loudly to clear the morsel of food that had gone down his windpipe by accident.

“Damn nuts, stupid doctors demanding that I eat healthier,” the 60 year-old man grumbled.

“Daddy!” a loud, happy voice called out.

“Kaolla! OOF!” the king smiled before grimacing as his hyperactive daughter launched herself at his torso to give him a bone-cracking hug. “H-how are you, Kaolla?”

“I’m good, Daddy, I’ve brought all my friends from Japan with me,” Kaolla declared happily. “I want you to meet them, they’re lots of fun!”

“That’s nice dear, could you stop hugging me like that, my vision is going black at the edges.”

“Sorry Daddy, sometimes I forget that people aren’t as indestructible as Keitaro,” the blonde bundle of energy said sheepishly as she climbed off her father. “You should meet Keitaro, he’s funny. He keeps flying through walls and up in the air, it’s great stuff!”

“I see,” the monarch nodded. “Well, shall we go and meet your friends?”

“Yeah, I’m going to introduce you to Motoko first, she’s really good with that sword of hers.”


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Outside in the Royal Garden, Keitaro was looking at all the exotic flowers that took pride of place in the well manicured estate.

“Wow, these are all so pretty,” the ronin commented as he leaned into look at some brightly coloured flowers.

Suddenly a large and angry sounding bee flew past him, causing Keitaro to lose his balance and fall backwards.

“Waah!”

“Oof!”

“‘Oof’?” Keitaro repeated.

“Yes, ‘oof’,” a displeased female voice replied. “I believe that it is a common exclamation when someone lands on you.”

“Ack! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to,” the bespectacled youth insisted. “I didn’t think that anyone was here, honest!”

“Really now, and why would you think that was the case? This is the private Royal Garden, after all.”

Keitaro, finally managing to stand himself up, turned to see a rather upset looking beautiful woman staring at him. “Lamba…No, wait, you’re not Lamba. Who are you and what are you doing here?”

“I’m Keitaro Urashima, I’m with Su, she invited us here.”

“Oh, you must be this Keitaro person. I can’t say that I’m impressed,” the platinum blonde bombshell noted. “I’m Amalla Su, I’m Kaolla’s sister.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Keitaro bowed at the waist. “I’m sorry for falling on you like that.”

“Yeah, well, don’t let it happen again,” Amalla grumbled.

The sound of a pair of women talking took the princess’s attention away from the clumsy oaf that has interrupted her sunbathing.

“Oh, there you are, Lamba, we’ve been looking for you,” said the lead woman, a beautiful platinum bombshell that looked like the older sister of Amalla.

“That’s not Lamba, Mom, it’s Keytallow, I think he came here with Kaolla,” the sunbathing beauty explained. “I don’t know where Lamba’s hiding right now.”

“Oh, well. Hello there, I’m Mary Su, I’m Amalla and Kaolla’s mother. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Keytallow,” the voluptuous queen smiled.

“It’s Keitaro,” the ronin corrected.

“You’re a feisty one to challenge royalty, aren’t you?” the hitherto silent member of Molmol’s royal family commented snidely. “You should really reconsider your attitude, young man.”

“Calm down, Lolla, it’s obvious that he’s taken in by our beauty that caused his lapse in manners. Isn’t that right, Keitaro?”

“Err, yes. Sorry, please forgive my poor manners,” Keitaro apologised as his head touched the floor. “I am but a stranger in a foreign land – I am unfamiliar with your customs.”

“See, Lolla, all you need to do is give them the chance and everything will work out fine,” Mary smiled at her co-wife. “So then, Keitaro, what brings you here to the one of the more private areas of the Palace?”

“I was just looking at the flowers. I didn’t mean any harm, it’s just that they’re so different to the ones back home.”

“Well, you can’t be here, so leave,” Lolla scowled.

“Sorry,” Keitaro bowed again and turned, only to trip over the reclining princess. “Gah!”

“Just go!” Amalla shouted angrily.

Finally, the hapless ronin managed to leave without further embarrassment.

“He’s the clumsiest thing I’ve ever seen, I was there when someone got Jay and Bob drunk at New Year’s,” Lolla griped.

The royal trio grimaced when they recalled the incident with the drunken orang-utan and pygmy elephant, the resultant havoc had taken the Royal Engineering Corps three weeks to sort out and the roses had never been the same since.

“Still, I think he’s the one that Kaolla likes,” Mary said with a shrug. “It’s not like he’s completely without charm.”

“Pft, if you say so, Mom,” Amalla said with a shudder as she recalled the way he somehow managed to cop a very good feel on both occasions when he fell on her. “Despite him looking like Lamba, he’s nothing compared to him.”

Lolla rolled her eyes at the smitten tone her stepdaughter had taken. ‘Though she does have a point – at least Lamba doesn’t fall on top of you every five minutes…’


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Naru was not unhappy with the way things had gone with their little vacation. So far, that was.

True, Keitaro had fallen face first onto her best friend’s chest when he stumbled off the plane, but it wasn’t too bad, there was nothing out of the ordinary for the ill-fated ronin.

“It wasn’t like he’s just walked in on Shinobu-chan while she was bathing, after all,” the “promise girl” mused.

“N-n-naru-sempai!” a nervous voice said as its owner rushed into her room.

“What is it, Shinobu-chan?”

“There’s been a, a, a thing with Keitaro-sempai!” Shinobu said breathlessly. “He’s in big trouble!”

“That idiot!” Naru growled.


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The idiot in question had somehow managed to offend one of the King’s military advisors with his clumsy antics.

The King wasn’t really that bothered, in fact he thought the whole thing was rather amusing and had laughed loudly.

The general in question, however, felt suitably aggrieved by the incident. It was a white dress uniform that had been stained with a smoothie made from local fruits, and nothing short of bleach was ever going to get the uniform white again.

“But Your Majesty, I’ve been dishonoured!”

“It was an accident, General Mu,” the monarch replied. “Anyone could see that.”

General Mu, a man who always wore a stern look on his face that suggested he didn’t like the way his monarch was less than traditional, sighed. “As you insist, Your Majesty. With your permission, I’ll leave and change.”

“Yes, go on, but be quick, I want you to take part with in the banquet. You do think that my precious little Kaolla is worthy of your presence, don’t you?”

“Of course, Your Majesty, I was just concerned that my appearance would be somehow offensive to her. I shall return shortly.”

King Mamba Su signalled for Keitaro to be brought before him. When the wretched youth was standing in front of the throne, the King put on his best poker face.

“Young man, do you know that your actions have caused my chief military advisor incredible humiliation?”

“I didn’t mean to! It was an accident! I was just stepping away from the table and I tripped over myself,” Keitaro insisted.

“Really? I find it hard to believe that a grown man can be that clumsy,” the heavy set man replied sceptically. “He has every right to demand satisfaction.”

When the ronin looked blankly at him, the King added. “With a duel. You know, a prearranged combat, between two people with lethal weapons, usually to settle a disagreement over a matter of honour. They’re considered outdated these days, but General Mu is a traditional man.”

“I-I’m sorry!” Keitaro said, falling to his knees to prostrate himself before Kaolla’s father.

It was too much for Mamba and he burst out laughing. It was a rich, humour filled sound that reassured all Molmolians present.

The bespectacled Urashima was another matter. He thought the King sounded like Jabba the Hutt in Return of the Jedi. “W-what’s going to happen to me?”

“I can see why my daughter likes you, Keitaro, you ARE a lot of fun. We’re not going to make you fight General Mu for your life,” the monarch smiled. “Though if I were you, I’d keep my distance from the General.”


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