Shinkiro

Cyn

Active Member
#26
My guess is he's playing nice because of political shit. After all he is Hell's equivalent of a captain so it stands to reason his fellow kings might be somewhat pissed at him if he causes a war with the Gotei 13.
Also who knows how long he has been a King, after getting that title things probably became a fair bit easier for him. (Or at least came with plenty of perks to make his effort worth while.) So ptsd isn't as much of a factor as it would be otherwise.
 

zeebee1

Well-Known Member
#27
I decided to be kind and not make a list of everything wrong with this story. because if a did it would be a over a page long.

The thread started is a great poster, he just sucks as a writer. I want him to at least have enough of his ego to keep posting.

I mean seriously, did they really do the Renji/Ichigo combination move against Aizen? Where is the originality?
 

Avider

Well-Known Member
#28
Well given that just saying I hate rehash might not be enough, I figured I'd give some advice on how to avoid the rehash, if for some who knows what reason that the events in question are immutable:

Skip them.

Skip right over them. Go right past Ichigo rehashing whatever they are, and go to everything that happens after it. You can reference it, you can insert reaction/plans/whatever, but just skip it.

If for some reason you still think like things after that point still can't be changed, well:

You should take a real hard look at yourself and ask if that's really true.

And if it is, skip that as well.


People who've read Bleach will not miss them because they'll have known what happened already.

At some point, either you'd find a place where you can diverge and think up of something original, or you'd have reached the end of the manga and so would need to think up of something original anyways.
 

trevelyan1983

Well-Known Member
#29
Cyn said:
My guess is he's playing nice because of political shit. After all he is Hell's equivalent of a captain so it stands to reason his fellow kings might be somewhat pissed at him if he causes a war with the Gotei 13.
Also who knows how long he has been a King, after getting that title things probably became a fair bit easier for him. (Or at least came with plenty of perks to make his effort worth while.) So ptsd isn't as much of a factor as it would be otherwise.
Holy shit, someone actually paid attention to the implications of Ichigo's planning sessions. Thank-you for that.

Zeebee - that wasn't constructive criticism. At all. That was you being a cunt. If I stopped writing and started joining you in being a cunt and nothing else, well, I'm better at that than you. You'd have to, like, contribute or something.

Avider - K. I should have diverged from canon. Point conceded.

My original concept for this fic was - can a story be fun enough that it doesn't matter how close to canon it is? Clearly not - or this fic just didn't get awesome enough.

I can accept that.
 

zerohour

Well-Known Member
#30
I blame Code Geass for this, but I was expecting Giant Robots.
 

trevelyan1983

Well-Known Member
#31
Nope, plundered Samurai Deeper Kyo for the title.
 

Python453

Well-Known Member
#32
trevelyan1983 said:
My original concept for this fic was - can a story be fun enough that it doesn't matter how close to canon it is? Clearly not - or this fic just didn't get awesome enough.

I can accept that.
Yes, yes it can. You've succeeded in that regard, as far as I'm concerned.

It wasn't even canon rehash, if you really think about it. Canon rehash would've been you posting everything from the manga. And, I mean EVERYTHING. You didn't do that.

Renji and Byakuya fighting Ichigo in the Human World wasn't in the fic. You had Ichigo defeating Kenpachi as well- that technically didn't happen in the manga. You also had Ukitake tell Ichigo about what the badge does, which he sure as shit didn't do in canon. I could go on, but I think I'll stop there.

Also, I found that you implied that Chad was the only one of Ichigo's friends who was in Soul Society. Is that true? Did for some reason everyone else not go?
 

trevelyan1983

Well-Known Member
#33
Python453 said:
Also, I found that you implied that Chad was the only one of Ichigo's friends who was in Soul Society. Is that true? Did for some reason everyone else not go?
They're all there, but Ichigo only meets Chad.
 

DhampyrX2

Well-Known Member
#34
The fic wasn't bad, per se, it's just you need to expand a little more on Ichigo's motivations for staying as close to canon as he did. You implied pretty heavily that he could take down Yamamoto if he pushed himself. I can't see why he didn't assert himself a bit more in certain places, given that power level and the fact he's been in Hell for a hundred years, without some kind of explanation. At the very least, he should have taken out Gin or Tousen before Aizen managed his bug out once it was clear that they were the bad guys and that they wished Rukia harm. If anything, killing or crippling someone that helped to execute the entire ruling body of Seretei would only help Ichigo from a political standpoint so he had no reason to hold back against them.

That being said, what was here was an enjoyable read. It just needs a few more details to get into Ichigo's head. Heck, I'd love to see Orihime's and Uryuu's reactions to the new Ichigo. He's not the guy they knew before he got dragged into Hell, that's for sure.
 

da_fox2279

California Crackpot
#35
I just finished reading the fic, and I have to say I liked it. Overall, it was a good, satisfying story.

I'll admit to being curious as how Ichigo plans to increasing the power level of Chad and the others, or how he would handle some of the later stuff (Hueco Mundo would be very interesting), but I'm okay with this being a one-shot if it come to that.

Ichigo's settling in to civilian life again after a century (subjective time) of Hell is going to be ... hmmm. Pain in the ass? Simple? With Ichigo, you can never tell...

To wit: Liked the fic. Hope to see more of it, okay if there's not. I do hope to see more stuff, period.
 

MWkillkenny84

Well-Known Member
#36
A good job, Ukitake play smart (if you had already a case of a Deputy going crazy, SPEACK THE TRUTH and give an advice to the new one) and Ichigo kick asses all around WITHOUT starting a War (if you're a Captain equivalent into Hell, you learn to not create enemies without reasons. Ergo, go soft with the Soul Society forces. If they force your hand... well, the gloves are off, in this case. Otherwise...).
Umh... seeing yourprevious avatar and signature... is one of the Juunimaou a certain one who do not die even if he is killed (read: Shirou Emiya) and another one a certain red-eyed swordman (with his lovely wife of a formerly bounty huntress, aka Kyo Mibu and Yuya Shiina)?
Vote: 10+++
 

da_fox2279

California Crackpot
#37
The darkness of the underworld embraced him like a son returned after a long absence. Looking around, he saw familiar shades beckoning him from the darkness - the muted shimmer of Esteban's white uniform, the immense form of La Manto hulking in the mist, Kyoichi's human frame dwarfed by his inhuman comrades.

'Why am I here?'

A voice responded, echoing as if from far away.

~You are not.~

He was, though. He knew this place like the back of his hand - Hell's Dark Court. The home of the Twelve Demon Kinds, the bastion of terror that kept the worst scum of the underworld obedient through overwhelming power, perpetual fear and very bad language.

Standing, Kurosaki Ichigo held Zangetsu in a deathgrip.

"Esteban! Manto! Kyoichi! Come out, you bastards!"

The shades shifted, moving out of range of his restrained vision.

Something white caught his peripheral vision. Turning, he struck out with Zangetsu, sending the blade whistling through the air.

"The fuck's your problem Esteban?"

His blade clashed with another, deflected by monstrous power. A thick white blade had met his own dark sword, driving him back.

'That ... whatever that is, it's not Relampago. It's not Esteban's sword!'

Spinning with the momentum of the deflection, Ichigo stepped back and wrapped a handful of bandages around his wrist. Then, coming back to face his mysterious opponent, he released Zangetsu in a whirling slash.
Upon rereading this, i noticed the above - Are you saying Ichigo served alongside the Espada, pre-Aizen? 'Cause that's pretty damn cool.
 

Cornuthaum

Well-Known Member
#38
Dropping my piece (decided to read some TFF based fanfiction):

1.) The fights against the various lieutenants are ... well, a hundred years in hell or no, Ichigo loves fighting. They exist. They talk smack. They get to talk to the fist, because fighting is what Ichigo does. He's maybe a bit less manic about it than Kenpachi, but only a bit - and that's in canon, mind you. This version is Kenpachi with a better attitude about how to treat your sword.

2.) The fight against Byakuya bugs me enormously. Ichigo has no need to go the bleachy way of things and gradually release. He should have started at full power, then gone to full power maximum destruction mode when that failed against Senbonzakura Kageyoshi's Unlimited Petal Works.

3.) Overall, he gets off considerably better than in canon - instead of a mangled, more-dead-than-alive piece of cut-up meat, he's fairly intact, and so are those around him, Byakuya nonwithstanding.

edit:

All of this through actual powering up offscreen (not too hot about that, mind you, since it means we'll have a TJTG sized flashback incoming) - meaning he worked at some point for that power, instead of surviving through pure author fiat like in canon.
 
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