Harry Potter Short cuts in learning

GaelicDragon

Well-Known Member
#1
Moody finds a book and starts taking ideas from it to train Harry for his part in the war.
The one problem, the author, G. Saotome.

training ideas:

Occumancy: take one student (male), strip down to boxers, toss in middle of Veela village. By the time they have escaped, they should have near-perfect occumancy. Make sure Veela know that this is going to happen and to hit student especially hard with abilities. Have those who can mute their abilities on command do so when subject gets overwhelmed.

Dodging: take snitch, put on same spells as a blugger has, let rip. Add extra modified snitches as needed. This also works with speed training.

--

Any other training ideas of this sort from the other members?
 

raedric

Well-Known Member
#3
Heres a good, harsh training method.

First: get big group of Harry's peers.

Second: have them point wands at him.

Third: Take his wand.

Fourth: Unleash hell


That seems to be the best dodging training for spells, nothing like the real thing.
 

GaelicDragon

Well-Known Member
#4
Unless he gets hit...then he ends up like Draco on the train home in books 1-4
 

raedric

Well-Known Member
#5
GaelicDragon said:
Unless he gets hit...then he ends up like Draco on the train home in books 1-4
The point is, he WILL be hit. But with as many adult wizards that are in that school, he could be set right again. And I will bet anything he would REALLY not want to get hit again. Its one of the best ways to make sure he tries his absolute best, and would therefore make the most progress. Also, it would help him get a good feel for a lot of jinxes and bad spells. :p
 

Waruiko

Well-Known Member
#6
Hide the key to imortality in a mirror at the end of a groop of rooms filled with diffrent traps for the school's subject matter after making sure the possesed member of the staff is alerted the the location of said object.
 

Silencebringer

Well-Known Member
#8
training Ó la Happosai

Let him wake up in the girls dormitories several times with some panties on his head...and if your at it, let him appear in the showers when some of the girls are in there...preferably Slytherin, they are the most likely to beat him up.
 

drakensis

Well-Known Member
#9
Harry turned his head ever so slightly and tried to glare at Moody. This was difficult as the wartorn Auror and Headmaster Dumbledore were sitting on a sofa that Harry was strapped underneath. It was a tribute to Harry's conditioning over the previous days that he could even stand under the burden of two fully grown men and a sizeable piece of furniture.

"Right, lad," Moody said, thumbing through his manual. "The next stage is for you to run as fast as you can. See if you can get us to Hogsmeade before they stop serving dinner at the Hogshead."

"You've got to be kidding!" Harry snapped. "Dinner tomorrow, perhaps. I can barely move under this thing."

"Oh?" Dumbledore said, and looked over at the book himself. "Ah, that's what we were forgetting, Alastor. We're missing a stage."

Harry's hopes were raised by that statement, only to be brutally crushed as Dumbledore waved someone behind them. "Hagrid, you can let go of Fluffy's lead now."

"Right you are, Headmaster," boomed the giant and Harry's blood chilled as he head the familiar barks of the three-headed dog. They were getting closer.

Harry was making a considerable speed by the time he reached the Shrieking Shack.

<hr>

"Harry," Dumbledore said kindly. "I promise, if you kill Voldemort..."

"Hah!" Voldemort snorted. "Abandon that hope, old man. Your chosen one is already vanquished!"

"...you won't have to train any more."

Voldemort gulped as Harry's eyes all but glowed green and the Dark Lord was hurled backwards with a strength that seemed more than human. He barely had time for one scrambled scream before the Boy-Who-Lived was upon him.

He never stood a chance.
 

Dubrichius

Well-Known Member
#10
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Someone HAS to write a story based on these ideas. The amount of crack based win is too much to let it remain an idea only.
 

Mighty Bob

Well-Known Member
#11
drakensis said:
Harry turned his head ever so slightly and tried to glare at Moody. This was difficult as the wartorn Auror and Headmaster Dumbledore were sitting on a sofa that Harry was strapped underneath. It was a tribute to Harry's conditioning over the previous days that he could even stand under the burden of two fully grown men and a sizeable piece of furniture.

"Right, lad," Moody said, thumbing through his manual. "The next stage is for you to run as fast as you can. See if you can get us to Hogsmeade before they stop serving dinner at the Hogshead."

"You've got to be kidding!" Harry snapped. "Dinner tomorrow, perhaps. I can barely move under this thing."

"Oh?" Dumbledore said, and looked over at the book himself. "Ah, that's what we were forgetting, Alastor. We're missing a stage."

Harry's hopes were raised by that statement, only to be brutally crushed as Dumbledore waved someone behind them. "Hagrid, you can let go of Fluffy's lead now."

"Right you are, Headmaster," boomed the giant and Harry's blood chilled as he head the familiar barks of the three-headed dog. They were getting closer.

Harry was making a considerable speed by the time he reached the Shrieking Shack.

<hr>

"Harry," Dumbledore said kindly. "I promise, if you kill Voldemort..."

"Hah!" Voldemort snorted. "Abandon that hope, old man. Your chosen one is already vanquished!"

"...you won't have to train any more."

Voldemort gulped as Harry's eyes all but glowed green and the Dark Lord was hurled backwards with a strength that seemed more than human. He barely had time for one scrambled scream before the Boy-Who-Lived was upon him.

He never stood a chance.
Oh god...that had me laughing, both th concept and the last snip...you HAVE to a more fleshed out version of this, if only as a one chapter one-shot. With Dumbledore's (fannon?) focus on the greater good and Moody's...well Moody-ness they'd be prefect as the architechs of Harry's misfortune.
 

drakensis

Well-Known Member
#12
Harry sighed in relief as he saw the Hogwarts Express sitting at the station. At last, after the hell of the last term, he could go back home to the Dursleys. All the 'training' that the staff had been putting him through had made 4 Privet Drive seem preferable, at least in some small ways, to Hogwarts. If nothing else, he couldn't be expected to do any training there. Uncle Vernon would consider such activites to be too freakish.

"Potter," growled a familiar voice from behind him and Harry all but levitated to the top of the carriage, turning, his wand in hand.

Where he had been standing, Alastor Moody shook his head sadly. "You've good reflexes, boy. But they're no substitute for CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

Around the station, heads turned and other students began backing away. They'd seen what Moody had been doing to Harry lately, and that was to the precious Boy-Who-Lived. If he decided to target them, doubtless he'd be even less restrained. The one exception to this was Draco Malfoy who was trying to wrestle Colin Creevey's camera away from him to record whatever Moody was up to for posterity.

"I'm not doing it!" Harry cried out. "Whatever lunatic training idea you have, I'm not doing it!" His wand shook in his hand. "I'm going home, Moody!"

Suddenly a rope snapped into being around his waist, one that inconveniently lacked any actual knot that might be untied. "Now Harry," Dumbledore said admonishingly. "You must understand that this is for the greater good." Another flick of his wand and Harry was hurled off the end of the train. Harry was too busy cursing overly-imaginative senile old farts to notice Moody's smug expression at seeing him land easily on his feet.

"Now then, children," Dumbledore said cheerily to the other students. "Everyone aboard. The train's leaving in just a moment."

"What the hell is this!" Harry shouted desperately.

"Just run along behind the train, Potter," ordered Moody. "We'll meet you at Platform 9 3/4 to untie you."

Over the next week, as Dumbledore was bombarded with post from the parents of the younger students, concerned at the bad language that their children had picked up at Hogwarts, the elderly headmaster did not hesitate to put the blame upon Harry.

For the greater good, of course.
 

drakensis

Well-Known Member
#14
Dumbledore sat behind his desk in his office at Hogwarts. Across the desk were his closest and most trusted confidants, those to whom he would unburden himself of his worries to the extent he considered them capable of bearing. On occasion, when he was less than totally sure of his course of action (or of their loyalty), he might ask their advice. That always flattered them so.

Not that they might not occasionally come up with ideas that he might have missed of course. He was the greatest living wizard but contrary to his reputation, he couldn't really think of everything. Why it was much less than two decades since he had felt at such a loss for inspiration as to where to turn. Fortunately, Voldemort had had his fateful first encounter with Harry Potter before he had had to embarass himself though.

This time, he did not believe it would be wise to rely on such a happenstance. After all, this time it was young Harry who was at the root of the problem.

"I have spoken to Mr. Potter," he said quietly. "It seems only so short a time since he first came to Hogwarts..."

After a moment of silence as the Headmaster mused dreamily about the Boy-WHo-Lived, it was Severus Snape who broke the silence. "And what did the Brat-Who-Lives have to demand this time?" he asked. "Help with his homework? Even with Granger's help he's not going to pass Potions this year. We'll be lucky if he and Longbottom don't put half their class in Pomfrey's care."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. Severus always felt the need to hide his concern for students behind such a mask of scorn, he knew and so he did not hold the outburst against him. "Oh, nothing of the kind, Severus. And I'm sure that he does very well under your tuition, as do all our students. No, Mr. Potter had another request, and one that I think needs the most careful of handling."

"What does he want then?" Alastor Moody demanded bluntly.

"It would appear," the Headmaster explained, "that he wishes training so that he will not be at such a disadvantage should he, heaven forbid, have to confront Voldemort once more."

Professor McGonagall made a distressed sound. Despite her mask of sternness, Dumbledore knew that his deputy cared deeply for all her students. "But surely that isn't necessary, Headmaster. You can't expect that Mr. Potter will be exposed to that villain again!"

Dumbledore nodded sagely. "Every precaution will be taken," he assured her, although he knew that there would most certainly be another such encounter. But no training would affect the outcome of that meeting he knew. Only love would help Harry then, and stripping him of what remained of his childhood would not help in that.

"I can scarcely conceive," Snape sneered, "That any amount of training could reduce the mountainous disadvantage that Potter faces against the Dark Lord. It's an utter waste of time even to consider it."

"I disagree with neither of you," Dumbledre agreed swiftly. "Regretably, if understandably, Mr. Potter is bound and determined to seek some form of improvement and if we, his elders and teachers, cannot provide it I must presume that he shall seek it elsewhere, from less reliable and dare I say, more hazardous sources. This then is our dilemma. How may we persuade him to put aside this goal of his."

Moody scratched his chin. "I can't say that I know the boy as well as the rest of you, but I may have a notion," he said thoughtfully, his magical eye rolling in it's socket. "Rather than refusing him training, why not set him some training... something hard enough that he'll give up."

McGonagall shook her head. "I'm afraid that you underestimate Harry's stubbornness, Alastor," she said. "If he believes that training will help him then nothing short of a miracle will deter him."

"Even better," Moody said. "Tell him that once he goes in, we will insist that he finish the training. Then give him ridiculously hard training and don't let up until he quits anyway. That gives us the moral high ground to prevent him from going off on his own. After all, if he can't deal with the carefully monitored training that we offer, how can he attempt the far more stringent training of someone else."

"But where do you propose to get training hard enough to get through his thick skull?" Snape asked, looking honestly curious.

"Wouldn't you like to know, Snape," Moody snapped. "Suffice it to say I happened across a training manual someone wrote for an eastern martial art. The Saotome fellow who wrote it was obviously an imbecile and no one but a total masochist would attempt even some of the more moderate exercises." He paused and smiled, an ugly expression on his face. "I used one or two for... interrogation on a time, Snape. More than happy to show you those ones..."

"Well now," Dumbledore said brightly, happy that his brilliant notion for diverting Harry had met with such approval from his inner circle. "That all sounds splendid Alastor. Could I impose upon you to supervise the training?"
 

drakensis

Well-Known Member
#15
"Well now," Mad-Eye said with a horrible cheerfulness, watching Harry drag himself out of the lake. The sun was barely above the horizon, but it had been nothing more than a glimmer when Moody had stolen into the dorms, dragged aside the drapes of Harry's bed and used some sort of charm to hurl the startled boy out of his bed, through a window (open, thank Merlin - Harry wasn't sure that Moody wouldn't have just have flung him through the glass with equal cheer) and into the lake.

"What the hell was that about!?" Harry shouted and then had to abandon what little of his dignity remained to scramble aside as the Squid stretched out it's tentacles to try to drag him back into the water. He'd had to wrestle himself away from that as well before he reached the shore.

"It's the first part of your training, lad," Moody leered, eye rolling madly. "I told you we'd be starting first thing, didn't I?"

"You couldn't have waited until I was awake?" Harry asked, incredulously.

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" Moody shouted. "Now, where's your wand!"

Harry blinked. "Up by my bed?" he asked.

Moody shook his head disapprovingly. "So if I was to curse you now," he said, raising his wand, "What can you do?"

Without hesitation, Harry jumped back into the water, taking cover beneath the surface as Mad-Eye sent several brightly coloured jinxes flying at him. A moment later and the squid was upon him.

"When you get done playing around," Moody shouted to the panicking Boy-Who-Lived, "Go get your wand and meet me in the Great Hall for breakfast!"

He walked away, unobrutsively tapping at the holster where he'd stored Harry's wand after taking it from beside the boy's bed. Not being able to find that should be a good start to racking up the pressure on the boy. Plus, there was a good chance he'd miss breakfast in order to look for it.

It was possible to be miserable without being wet and hungry, but Mad-Eye Moody didn't see any reason to make this any harder than necessary... for himself.
 

lonetemplar

Well-Known Member
#16
Oh, this just HAS to be written into a complete story! :rofl: You did a fantastic job so far.
 

drakensis

Well-Known Member
#17
"The next part of your training will be speed training, boy," Moody said. He'd noticed that Potter didn't react well to being called that - another thing to be trained out of him. Otherwise one syllable from Voldemort would put him off his game.

Honestly, he didn't know who Dumbledore thought he was fooling, trying to give Potter a 'normal' childhood. It was a bit too late for that, but at least by bringing him up to speed against Voldemort a bunch of other kids might live to have whatever passed for normal lives these days. That was why he'd volunteered to take over the training. He knew damn well that Potter, when it came to it, wouldn't quit.

"What's that going to involve?" Harry asked bitterly. He hadn't enjoyed his early morning swim in the lake (and although he didn't know it yet, he wouldn't like it tomorrow either. The day after wasn't looking good for that matter). "Chasing Peeves around the dungeons with a toothbrush?"

"No," Moddy said. "But that's not a bad idea, Potter." He pulled out a notebook and scribbled down the idea, much to Harry's dismay. "Actually, your speed training will take place over breakfast."

That didn't sound too bad, Harry thought. Not until he found that a little table had been set up just for him in the Great Hall. Oh that was just great. Now he'd be the centre of attention! Probably be articles in the Daily Prophet about how he was 'too good to eat with the other students'.

He blinked as Ron took the seat opposite him. "Ron? What's going on?"

"I'm not sure, mate," the redhead replied. "McGonagall asked me to help with your training. Said I should sit here with you every meal from now on."

Exactly on time, the breakfast arrived. Ron, as usual, had his plate heaped high with bacon, sausages, fried tomatoes, mushrooms, eggs, toast... The House Elves had started pre-serving him to protect the other platters at the Gryffindor table from him. After all, the other students had to eat too. Harry... well, the table wasn't large enough for anything to appear for him once Ron's breakfast was crammed onto it.

"Well, lad?" Moody asked. "Tuck in."

Harry blinked at him. "But... that's Ron's breakfast."

Moody nodded, smugly.

Ron snarled at Harry. Best mates or no best mates, no one got between him and his food. Harry, for his part paled. He'd seen forks after someone used them to try to steal food off Ron's plate. It had taken McGonagall and Dumbledore combined to transfigure them back into functional cutlery.

"You'd better hurry, boy," Moody added. "Or there'll be nothing left for you."
 

lonetemplar

Well-Known Member
#18
drakensis said:
Ron snarled at Harry. Best mates or no best mates, no one got between him and his food. Harry, for his part paled. He'd seen forks after someone used them to try to steal food off Ron's plate. It had taken McGonagall and Dumbledore combined to transfigure them back into functional cutlery.
:snigger: You know, from what I remember from cannon, I can actually see Moody doing something like this to Harry. :yay: This is definitely something that needs to be continued for a long run. Just imagining what Harry is going to go through has me sitting on the edge of my seat to see what you come up with next. :D And you definitely have Ron in the right mood for 'speed training'. B)
 

Wonderbee31

Well-Known Member
#19
OMG! This is made of so much WIN that you have got to make a full story out of this! Please? Pretty please, with a bowlful of Kasumi and Belldandy, and a dash of Urd on top?
 
#20
Oh god- Harry's gonna die~ or at least be extremely screwed up by the end of the training~
 

drakensis

Well-Known Member
#21
Harry was already getting tired of this training regieme and it was only the second time that Moody had throw him into the lake. And meals weren't worth mentioning - honestly, if he wanted to be starved half to death then all he had to do was go back to the Dursleys.

He had heard Dean Thomas mention something about army boot camp - new soldiers being treated like boots to toughen them up. Perhaps this was something like that. Adversity to make him stronger.

Well he'd show them. He'd faced Voldemort down, he could handle anything that Dumbledore and Moody threw at him.

Right?

"Are you sure about this?" Dumbledore asked Moody, a trifle uneasily. "This seems a bit extreme for Harry's first real training."

"The boy can handle it," Moody said and winked broadly where Harry couldn't see it. "Here, take a look at the instructions for yourself." He held out the slim book, finger indicating the passage that said outright: 'only an idiot would do this'.

"Oh!" Dumbledore said brightly. "Excellent." 'Harry will refuse and we can all be done with this training business. He'll defeat Voldemort and I can have some lemon drops... and perhaps some tea.'

"Right them, boy," Moody said. "Hagrid's been working flat out to help us set this up for you. All the training so far is just basic stuff, this is where we get you started on the advanced skills. You may not get it right first time, but we'll just keep at it, alright."

"Yes!" Harry said firmly. 'If this lets me kill Voldemort then it'll all be worth it,' he promised himself.

"Um, Alastor?" Dumbledore interjected. "Are you sure that this is right?"

"What are you talking about, Albus. Of course I am."

"Well if you'll look here, it says..."

Moody glanced at the page. "Well, there's not much that we can do about that, Albus. He is sixteen and there's not much we can do about that. We just scaled it up a bit."

Dumbledore shook his head. "I think sometimes you forget about being a wizard, Alastor." He waved his wand and Harry blinked as everything appeared to grow larger... no, it was him growing smaller. Smaller? No... younger, he realised. He was six years old again!

"Now then, Harry," Hagrid rumbled, pulling out a long chain of sausages. Harry eyed them hungrily, but instead of feeding him, the half-giant groundskeeper used the sausages to tie him up, wrapping them around him repeatedly. "You just do what Mr. Moody says and it'll all be right. They're just harmless kitties, not even magical at all so there's nothing to be worried about."

Then he lifted up a wooden lid from what Harry realised was a quite deep hole dug into the ground, scooped up Harry and dropped him into it.

"They are just harmless kitties, aren't they Alastor?" Dumbledore asked. "Hagrid..." he dropped his voice to a whisper "can get a little enthusiastic sometimes."

"Not to worry, Albus," Moody said. "I made sure that Filch's moggy and Minerva weren't in there. They wouldn't have been large enough, anyway."

"Oh?" Dumbledore asked and then broke off as a Ministry Owl fluttered down on him. Taking the letter, he perused it quickly and then frowned slightly. "Alastor... do you know anything about a wizard stealing away every lion, tiger and leopard in London Zoo?"

"They'll be back as soon as we're done with them, Albus."
 

Dubrichius

Well-Known Member
#22
*sprays drink over monitor*

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Oh God! It's the Neko-ken. Poor, poor Harry.

Anyway, this is an amazing addition, so let's see what other horrors Dumbledore and Moody inflict upon him. Agility training with cinder blocks, maybe? Perhaps endurance training by rolling him down a cliff? Or what about the good old fashioned learning how to fall... by pushing him off the Astronomy Tower.
 

Wonderbee31

Well-Known Member
#23
OMG! The Cat-fist with Big Cats! Well, I'd say that puts Hermione out of the way with her Crookshanks hanging off her. Can't wait to see who they start to engage him to, so as to toughen him up more. Wonder who'll be weilding the mallet in this fic?
 

H-Man

Random phantom.
#24
Isn't it obvious?

It's someone who has an interest on him but never really manages to actually tell herself that.
 

lonetemplar

Well-Known Member
#25
Oh, God! That was hilarious. The only thing missing is the old geezers selling him out for a light snack. :rofl:

EDIT: When does the disrespect for his authority figures start happening? :D Can't wait to see Dumbledore and Moody start being called derisive names.
 
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