á á "You're kidding me." I stared at Julio, trying to see if the little guy was being funny, or making a commentary on my cleanliness. I couldn't actually pronounce his name, but he had an almost-mexican sounding accent, so the Julio nickname stuck. He just sort of squirmed, scratching the back of his freaky little helmet.
á á "Sorry... I'm afraid not."
á á "I thought we flushed all those freaks down the john three weeks ago, back when they were trying to get rid of everything in my medicine cabinet."
á á "So did I. I suppose they crawled back out of the waste dis-"
á á "I really don't want to think about that."
á á "Right." I buried my head in my hands as I pictured the scene.
á á "And they're actually - "
á á "Worshipping it, yes." He was uncomfortable, obviously, but I could tell that it was amusing him to no small degree. "As an avatar of the-"
á á "I get it, I get it." I sighed. "Okay, you win. I'll clean out the fridge."
á á "The others will be ecstatic. The smell was becoming unbearable!" He hopped down onto the couch cushion beside me. "So you're going to let the Nurglites have the sandwich?"
á á "Sure. Saves me a trip to the trash can."
>> danzig !xztaW06rUw 01/20/09(Tue)07:52 No.3462681
á á So anyway, after that, I thought that I had heard the last of the matter for a while. I scrubbed out the fridge and freezer, tossed out what was moldy, the usual stuff. I even got in the cabinets and made sure they were arranged, found a can of paprika that expired back in `03 while I was at it. It had turned green. Ick. The pus-and-bile guys were staying outside, so I was okay with it.
á á Then the blade-armed chicks started to get on my nerves. See, when I fap (yes, I still manage to get a little time to myself every once in a while, now shut up) I use a sock. Sock goes in laundry, no fuss no muss. Problem: demon chicks like man-butter entirely too much. My socks started going missing from my hamper. I didn't notice it at first, but after a week or so, I was almost sockless.
á á That's when I found them. They had cut the socks into "love rags", and... well, you don't wanna know. I managed to dispose of all the refuse, but now... well, they're getting more agressive about grabbing my junk overnight. I think now that they've got a taste for it, they want more. It's getting a little bit disturbing.
>> danzig !xztaW06rUw 01/20/09(Tue)07:52 No.3462684
á á That's when I found them. They had cut the socks into "love rags", and... well, you don't wanna know. I managed to dispose of all the refuse, but now... well, they're getting more agressive about grabbing my junk overnight. I think now that they've got a taste for it, they want more. It's getting a little bit disturbing.
á á The little green guys are doing great. I bought them a bunch of Tamiya parts and a few half-broken RC cars at a yard sale last week, they've been going nuts. Last I heard, they were making "Somthin' stompy". I'd be worried, but so far even the nastiest of their inventions hasn't done much... even those things they made out of the Mountain Dew cans I left out, and fuck if those weren't the world's nastiest examples of what you can make with aluminum.
á á The blue dudes and Julio have discovered the wonders of the internet. They've been scanning Wikipedia and Bookchan all day long. A few days ago they found the Communist Manifesto. I was a little worried; they seem to be all about the 'greater good' and all that jazz, and I didn't want them going bolshevik on the rest of the house, but when I asked Julio about it, he just said "It's funny how someone can get so close to the truth and not see it." He actually sounded a little sad. So, business as usual for them, I guess.
á á Actually, except for the demon-girls, the armor-chicks have been giving me the hardest time recently. They actually got a megaphone, and with that and the speakerphone were calling up local phone-in televangelists to ask if they would "abandon their heathenous ways and follow the True God-Emperor". They got really mad whenever they got hung up on, and it happened every single time. I unscrewed the megaphone, took the power cell out, and hid it, so I don't see any more prank calls coming soon... unless they get the green guys to rig something up for them.
>> Anonymous 01/20/09(Tue)07:52 No.3462687
á áá File :1232455976.png-(41 KB, 779x537, 1232454471261.png)
41 KB
á á Orky gun is orky.
>> danzig !xztaW06rUw 01/20/09(Tue)07:53 No.3462689
á á And that's the thing - the stuff the green guys make doesn't have to actually WORK for them to get it working. I took a look at their Dew-bots when I confiscated them - no engines, no motors, no moving parts. Just some clusters of wires and broken circuit boards from a CD player. When I asked one of them to explain it, he just said something about "gubbings", whatever that means. Maybe the green guys are like a magic-using race? Sort of a shamanist thing? I dunno, and I'm not sure I wanna know.
á á I've had a hard time explaining my "absence" to people, why I don't spend more time just hanging out recently. Granted, it's not much less time, but it's something. I've found myself gravitating towards the internet for personal business and socializing. A while ago, I was talking to a guy I know who was freakishly into the minis scene until a while ago - as far as I can tell, he still is, but he wasn't putting up any photos anymore.
á á While I was talking to him, he suddenly swore and jumped up, running off-webcam. While he was gone, I swear that I saw a little red mecha-thing walk by on the ground, ranting quietly. It was out of focus, and down to one corner of the screen, but I'm sure I saw what I saw. When I asked my friend about it, he dodged the question, and got off quick. Just before the cam turned off, he turned and shouted "KAR-"
á á And that was it. I've played back the recording of our chat a million times, and while I can't quite tell what it's saying, I can swear that it sounds Russian. That leads me to only one solution: my friend has the same problem I have, but one of his "boarders" is Mecha Karl Marx.