Enjoy.
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1) Although people find Chris Nowinski intelligent, Maven's Dropkick graduated from Harvard, then from Yale, speaks five languages and invented Dual Shock technology which is used in videogame console controllers.
2) Maven's Dropkick can beat Super Mario Bros using the U-Force.
3) Maven's Dropkick has had sex with Brooke Hogan. Twice.
4) Maven's dropkick was the original choice to play A.C Slater in Saved By The Bell but had to pull out at the last minute leaving Mario Lopez a very happy man.
5) Maven's Dropkick, when it was discovered by Al Snow & Tazz accidentally, actually killed Tough Enough 1 Darrell, however WWE was able to use high-end computer technology to refilm most of Tough Enough 1 and cover up Darrell's death by making him the first person cut. Since then they have hired a Darrell impersonator to pose as Darrell to fool his friends and family. The real Darrell is buried in a shallow grave behind the WWE Building.
6) Not even Maven's dropkick is mighty enough to disinfect Scary Mary's vagina.
7) Maven was practicing his dropkick somewhere in Asia. Unfortunately he was at the beach and fell into the water during his dropkick. The result is the Tsunami Disaster of Thailand.
8) Maven's dropkick once built a working helicopter out of used pizza boxes and lawn clippings.
9) Maven's dropkick was responsible for the death of Natalee Holloway.
10) The Maven Dropkick is so powerful that when it hit Spider-Man it purged his superpowers and turned him back into a normal man. These are the events prior to Peter Parker's powers not working in the movie Spider-Man 2.
11 )Maven's dropkick's human form is Vin Diesel.
12) "in the 1980s Big Tobacco decided to include the secret to Maven's dropkick in packs of cigarettes. This was abolished by the US government."
13) "In April, the Brooklyn Brawler chose (poorly) to spar with Maven. One dropkick later and we're introduced to the Boston Brawler."
14) Contrary to popular belief, Maven was never actually delivered by doctors when he was born. He dropkicked his way out of his mother's womb.
15) Maven's dropkick is incredibly busy at the moment. It's sold out five straight arenas in the UK. It's regularly seen on VH1's Best Week Ever. It has its on radio show on XM..."
16) The side effect of the Maven Dropkick is baldness. Just ask Bob Holly.
17) The Simon System does not involve body cream or fitno-powder. In actuality it involves Maven dropkicking the fat off of people as they sleep. it is for this reason Maven and Simon Dean are a tag team.
18) "Who pulled up the briefcase in Steve Austin's ladder match against the McMahons? Maven's dropkick, that's who."
19) Maven's dropkick caused Matt Morgan's stuttering problem.
20) Edge is just a patsy. Maven's dropkick is Lita's real lover.
21) It's said that if Maven's dropkick sees it's shadow in February, the world will end.
22) The World Trade Center explosion involved planes? I call bullshiznit. Maven's dropkick was hijacked by Al-Qaeda members and flown through the buildings. And yes, it did take 23 hijackers to just get one dropkick.
23) Maven shot you with 1 dropkick. You died.
24) The PS3 will feature support for seven controllers. Why not 8? Because Maven's dropkick exclusively has rights over being player 8 in any game you play as it sees fit.
25) Nintendo's Revolution will be fully compatible with Maven's Dropkick.
26) There is a third unannounced tier to the X-Box Live service, exclusive only to those that think they can challenge Maven's Dropkick. Reports say that it may cost your soul just for one round of play.
27) The 2005 RAW Diva Search winner is already chosen - Maven's Dropkick.
28) There's a great urban legend that states that President Bush got an advisory notice from Al Snow, telling him to be on the lookout for Maven's Dropkick. Bush ignored this; that is why Maven's Dropkick runs wild to this day.
29) Maven's Dropkick caused the fall of ECW.
30) Hot on the heels of John Cena's album, it's been announced that Maven's Dropkick will also get it's own album. Although the Dropkick itself cannot sing, the problem has been resolved by adding Maven's entrance theme on the same CD 16 times.
31) Keaton always said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well, I believe in God -- and the only thing that scares me is Maven's dropkick.
32) Sean Waltman once was asked about Maven's dropkick, and was quoted as saying it's "alright." The Gods punished Waltman for this. That punishment is known as "1 Night in China."
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There, that's it.
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1) Although people find Chris Nowinski intelligent, Maven's Dropkick graduated from Harvard, then from Yale, speaks five languages and invented Dual Shock technology which is used in videogame console controllers.
2) Maven's Dropkick can beat Super Mario Bros using the U-Force.
3) Maven's Dropkick has had sex with Brooke Hogan. Twice.
4) Maven's dropkick was the original choice to play A.C Slater in Saved By The Bell but had to pull out at the last minute leaving Mario Lopez a very happy man.
5) Maven's Dropkick, when it was discovered by Al Snow & Tazz accidentally, actually killed Tough Enough 1 Darrell, however WWE was able to use high-end computer technology to refilm most of Tough Enough 1 and cover up Darrell's death by making him the first person cut. Since then they have hired a Darrell impersonator to pose as Darrell to fool his friends and family. The real Darrell is buried in a shallow grave behind the WWE Building.
6) Not even Maven's dropkick is mighty enough to disinfect Scary Mary's vagina.
7) Maven was practicing his dropkick somewhere in Asia. Unfortunately he was at the beach and fell into the water during his dropkick. The result is the Tsunami Disaster of Thailand.
8) Maven's dropkick once built a working helicopter out of used pizza boxes and lawn clippings.
9) Maven's dropkick was responsible for the death of Natalee Holloway.
10) The Maven Dropkick is so powerful that when it hit Spider-Man it purged his superpowers and turned him back into a normal man. These are the events prior to Peter Parker's powers not working in the movie Spider-Man 2.
11 )Maven's dropkick's human form is Vin Diesel.
12) "in the 1980s Big Tobacco decided to include the secret to Maven's dropkick in packs of cigarettes. This was abolished by the US government."
13) "In April, the Brooklyn Brawler chose (poorly) to spar with Maven. One dropkick later and we're introduced to the Boston Brawler."
14) Contrary to popular belief, Maven was never actually delivered by doctors when he was born. He dropkicked his way out of his mother's womb.
15) Maven's dropkick is incredibly busy at the moment. It's sold out five straight arenas in the UK. It's regularly seen on VH1's Best Week Ever. It has its on radio show on XM..."
16) The side effect of the Maven Dropkick is baldness. Just ask Bob Holly.
17) The Simon System does not involve body cream or fitno-powder. In actuality it involves Maven dropkicking the fat off of people as they sleep. it is for this reason Maven and Simon Dean are a tag team.
18) "Who pulled up the briefcase in Steve Austin's ladder match against the McMahons? Maven's dropkick, that's who."
19) Maven's dropkick caused Matt Morgan's stuttering problem.
20) Edge is just a patsy. Maven's dropkick is Lita's real lover.
21) It's said that if Maven's dropkick sees it's shadow in February, the world will end.
22) The World Trade Center explosion involved planes? I call bullshiznit. Maven's dropkick was hijacked by Al-Qaeda members and flown through the buildings. And yes, it did take 23 hijackers to just get one dropkick.
23) Maven shot you with 1 dropkick. You died.
24) The PS3 will feature support for seven controllers. Why not 8? Because Maven's dropkick exclusively has rights over being player 8 in any game you play as it sees fit.
25) Nintendo's Revolution will be fully compatible with Maven's Dropkick.
26) There is a third unannounced tier to the X-Box Live service, exclusive only to those that think they can challenge Maven's Dropkick. Reports say that it may cost your soul just for one round of play.
27) The 2005 RAW Diva Search winner is already chosen - Maven's Dropkick.
28) There's a great urban legend that states that President Bush got an advisory notice from Al Snow, telling him to be on the lookout for Maven's Dropkick. Bush ignored this; that is why Maven's Dropkick runs wild to this day.
29) Maven's Dropkick caused the fall of ECW.
30) Hot on the heels of John Cena's album, it's been announced that Maven's Dropkick will also get it's own album. Although the Dropkick itself cannot sing, the problem has been resolved by adding Maven's entrance theme on the same CD 16 times.
31) Keaton always said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well, I believe in God -- and the only thing that scares me is Maven's dropkick.
32) Sean Waltman once was asked about Maven's dropkick, and was quoted as saying it's "alright." The Gods punished Waltman for this. That punishment is known as "1 Night in China."
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There, that's it.