Naruto The Red Haired Clan

[whitewhiskey]

Basically ideas, cracky or not, of who is in the Uzumaki clan and what they can bring to the clan, the only requirement?

They have to have some shade of red hair...

Like...

Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV

Aside from possible Yamanaka-like mind hacking (Seriously, how else would those goggles of hers work but mental interface?) and some machinery work, she's a feral little fighter, too.

Oh, and she brings Ein along, which is a definite plus...

 

[WarmasterCain55]

Man can give people a run for their money.

 

[rukia8492]

i see your kenshin and i raise you.

 

[Knyght]

Beat me to it, you freaking ninja.

I'll just have to get some Shanks up in here.

But why stop there when you can have Nagi Springfield?

 

[Sdebeli]

I see what you did thar, and raise it by this:

 

[WarmasterCain55]

Wonder what role she would play in Naruto's life?

I see him as a...uncle.

 

[whitewhiskey]

i see your kenshin and i raise you.

Can't see any pic...

 

[Knyght]

Kneel to the King of Conquerors: Iskandar!

 

[whitewhiskey]

Wonder what role she would play in Naruto's life?

I see him as a...uncle.

You know, I just realized, warrior clans, all with red hair, stealthily (Ninja, theif, both need it)...

Crap, what if the Uzumaki weren't destroyed, just forced onto another continent?

 

[Sdebeli]

snip

You know, I just realized, warrior clans, all with red hair, stealthily (Ninja, theif, both need it)...

Crap, what if the Uzumaki weren't destroyed, just forced onto another continent?

For great lulz:
During a party held a long long time ago, when the Uzumaki clan was at the peak of its power, one smartass, completely drunk, decided to test out a seal which malfunctioned horribly, scattering all currently present clan members to the winds, dropping them not elsewhere, but in another time, some 30-40 years in the future (happily coinciding with the main storyline).
After the main force of the clan was gone, the other villages attacked, scattering the few survivors to the winds. Come the start of the story, they're back and trying to get a bearing for what happened.
Then one of them comes across the Great Naruto Bridge, and find out that said Naruto is an Uzumaki living in Konoha.
Crack ensues.

 

[paulo_j1983]

snip

You know, I just realized, warrior clans, all with red hair, stealthily (Ninja, theif, both need it)...

Crap, what if the Uzumaki weren't destroyed, just forced onto another continent?

For great lulz:
During a party held a long long time ago, when the Uzumaki clan was at the peak of its power, one smartass, completely drunk, decided to test out a seal which malfunctioned horribly, scattering all currently present clan members to the winds, dropping them not elsewhere, but in another time, some 30-40 years in the future (happily coinciding with the main storyline).
After the main force of the clan was gone, the other villages attacked, scattering the few survivors to the winds. Come the start of the story, they're back and trying to get a bearing for what happened.
Then one of them comes across the Great Naruto Bridge, and find out that said Naruto is an Uzumaki living in Konoha.
Crack ensues.

 

[WarmasterCain55]

The name's Axel...got it memorized?

 

[Sdebeli]

Short snip:

Once, a long time ago, within the Elemental Countries, there was a small country known for three things, all of them tightly bound to one another.
First, was the fact that it was the world's greatest importer and consumer of alcohol, infamous for the many parties/drinkfests that were oft organized.
Second, was the fact that it housed one of the smaller, but not less dangerous hidden villages, infamous for the strengths of its individual ninja, as well as for having prodigious talents with the art of sealing.
Third, and possibly the most important, was the fact that it also housed the Uzumaki clan.

In normal times, the clan was scattered to the winds, its many members traveling the world and beyond seeking their dreams and adventure, but every now and then, a good number would gather back home to trade tales, drink and guide the youngsters of the clan on their way.
Unfortunately, the last such reunion saw one Nagato Uzumaki being drunk for the first(and last) time in his life, and falling into an ongoing (and equally drunk) discussion about seals.
The exact consequences of said event were unknown, either due to people actually now knowing, or simply recovering from a hangover, but left behind only a handful of the originally over a hundred strong Uzumaki clan.
By the time the other villages got word of what apparently happened, the handful of survivors hightailed it out of there, and the villages sent a large expeditionary force to assure that the Uzumaki were gone.
Despite publicly patting each other on the back for dispatching the Uzumaki clan, to this day they still dread that they'll one day get reports of more sightings.

Fate of course, had many, many fun ways of outright fulfilling such expectations.

 

[WarmasterCain55]

Who knows? Maybe a powerful, mental distress call from Naruto sets the respawn point in or near Konoha. The betrayal of Mizuki certainly shook him.

 

[Sdebeli]

Who knows?? Maybe a powerful, mental distress call from Naruto sets the respawn point in or near Konoha.? The betrayal of Mizuki certainly shook him.

I was thinking more along the line of the entire clan assembling in Konoha incognito before the last part of the chunnin exams, with a couple of people visiting Naruto beforehand to introduce themselves. There's no training, no magical powers drawn out of a hat or anything. But there's the boundless support of a family to whom the fact that he's "that brat Kushina's" kid enough to accept him as one of their own.
Sarutobi finds out and doesn't know whether to bash his head on his desk or laugh like a madman, remembering the Uzumaki as they were all those years ago when he was younger.
Come the last part of the exams, there's a sizable chunk of weird redheads in the audience. A sizable chunk that's cheering and outright howling for Naruto to kick Neji's ass.
And when Orochimaru eventually decides to attack, he finds out there's a bunch of people who are outright pissed off, and mostly because he interrupted the tournament.

Sure, none of them care much about Konoha (some don't even know what the heck it really is anyway), but there's three things they do care about. It's Naruto's home, it was Kushina's home, and last, but not least, Hiruzen offered to throw a party afterwards.

 

[WarmasterCain55]

Who knows?á Maybe a powerful, mental distress call from Naruto sets the respawn point in or near Konoha.á The betrayal of Mizuki certainly shook him.

I was thinking more along the line of the entire clan assembling in Konoha incognito before the last part of the chunnin exams, with a couple of people visiting Naruto beforehand to introduce themselves. There's no training, no magical powers drawn out of a hat or anything. But there's the boundless support of a family to whom the fact that he's "that brat Kushina's" kid enough to accept him as one of their own.
Sarutobi finds out and doesn't know whether to bash his head on his desk or laugh like a madman, remembering the Uzumaki as they were all those years ago when he was younger.
Come the last part of the exams, there's a sizable chunk of weird redheads in the audience. A sizable chunk that's cheering and outright howling for Naruto to kick Neji's ass.
And when Orochimaru eventually decides to attack, he finds out there's a bunch of people who are outright pissed off, and mostly because he interrupted the tournament.

Sure, none of them care much about Konoha (some don't even know what the heck it really is anyway), but there's three things they do care about. It's Naruto's home, it was Kushina's home, and last, but not least, Hiruzen offered to throw a party afterwards.

Ah yes, I do like that idea.

We need more redheads.

 

[Sdebeli]

Not completely sure about this snip. Not enough crack I think.

--------------------

He really wasn't all to sure what to do (aside for the obvious plan of beating the stuffing out of Neji) as he stood in the middle of the arena.

First of all, it turned out that he had a family, who was apparently 'temporally displaced', according to that polite... er, uncle? Of his named Nagi. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what that meant, but probably that they couldn't come earlier.

Second, he pretty much gave up on understanding his family tree, as the whole thing seemed to exist solely to cause headaches(much like the rest of the clan, as some would say).

Third, he really, really didn't know how to react about the fact that a good three dozen people, all apparently clan members had arrived to cheer him on.
Some were stern figures, with faces that might as well be granite. Some were lively, already cheering even though the match hadn't yet started. Some were lazing about, acting like they're not interested but still sneaking looks every now and then.
But there was something they all had in common. They had all come here for him. No other reason was needed.
That huge guy who introduced himself as Iskender said that the clan would be there to watch him win the tournament, and they came.

Looking at his opponent seriously for the first time after a long month, he realized something. It didn't matter how good, skilled or powerful Neji was. It didn't matter that he had that superior bloodline, or more experience under his belt.

Naruto Uzumaki did not falter against stronger foes, he thrived. Naruto Uzumaki didn't believe in fate, he made it with his own hands. And finally, Naruto Uzumaki was not alone. He had a family that had just grown even further.

The proctor jumped to a safe and very large distance once he saw the grin on Naruto's face.

 

[Shirotsume]

<a href='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjjkHg5FOhk' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>I can hear this while reading that.</a>

 

[DhampyrX2]

<a href='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjjkHg5FOhk' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>I can hear this while reading that.</a>

When "The Raising Fighting Spirit" starts playing shit just got real. Seriously, the second you hear that while facing Naruto, just give up. Save yourself the beating. :sisi:

 

[alucard964]

<a href='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjjkHg5FOhk' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>I can hear this while reading that.</a>

<a href='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pWEtpcFCjo' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pWEtpcFCjo</a>

prefer this myself

 

[whitewhiskey]

*Snip*

Given everyone mentioned so far, I get the odd visions of Iskandar trampling the three headed snake, redheads cutting swaths through the invading army before they even breach the walls (leaving a lot of konoha ninja wondering where the blue hell the invaders are), Axel turning Shukaku into one big glass sculpture, Ganon taking down the barrier with a Warlock Punch, and, oddly, Ed and Ein attacking Tayuya.

 

[Sdebeli]

*Snip*

Given everyone mentioned so far, I get the odd visions of Iskandar trampling the three headed snake, redheads cutting swaths through the invading army before they even breach the walls (leaving a lot of konoha ninja wondering where the blue hell the invaders are), Axel turning Shukaku into one big glass sculpture, Ganon taking down the barrier with a Warlock Punch, and, oddly, Ed and Ein attacking Tayuya.

Shanks politely standing next to Sarutobi, chatting with Hashirama and Tobirama about their good old drinking days, then explaining to Orochimaru in simple terms just why he is angry right now.

Also, I see Axel showing up to help take out Shukaku, only to be treated to a sight of Naruto being Naruto, and knocking it Gaara awake from the top of Gamabunta's head.
Seeing that the battle is basically over, he picks up all of the brats present incapable of going (Sakura, Naruto), and decides that Gaara looks awfully familiar, so they absolutely have to come along.
Hijinks and afterparties ensue, with Toads in full attendace, Gaara and the Sand Siblings turning out to be from a line of the Uzumaki family that got lost along the way and the friendly, we-seriously-don't-give-a-fuck greeting they get from a ton of people completely confuses Gaara, much less Temari or Kankuro.

 

[Archanon]

Can we still submit redheads?

 

[Sdebeli]

Obviously.

 

[whitewhiskey]

Can we still submit redheads?

Yeah, these snippets are just shooting the breeze, you don't need to even take into account the ideas already submitted if you don't want to.

Well, I figured what the hell...

--------
"Gah, FUCK!" A red-haired sound-kunoichi yelled, trying to pry off the dog that had clamped to her arm and caused her to drop her flute, "Get offa me you fucking mutt!"

This whole mission had gotten majorly fucked up beyond all reason, and it seemed like it had been heading that way since the day started. Red was definately a rare hair color, and seeing a whole section of the stands occupied by red-heads like one big fucking bloodstain seemed to set the theme for the whole damn day. The moment the signal was given, the hidden sound ninja that had already infiltrated the village leaped into action...

...And right to their deaths...

The wave of red-heads spread out, leaving nothing but red in their wake, tons of big nosed, red haired women pulled spears from seemingly nowhere and cut down any sound or sand ninja in their way.

She saw one red haired man who looked like a poster child for steroids personally charge off into the distance and take out one of Orochimaru's strongest snakes like it was nothing, turning it into a bloody smear on the landscape before it could get more than a foot past the village walls.

Another man walked right up to their barrier, getting taunted by Kidomaru, he held some dark power in his hand that felt even darker than their own curse seals.

He punched the damn thing...

A barrier that their snake-fucker of a boss said was supposedly only second to the Rashoman, and this big nosed, red haired bastard punched through it like fucking paper, and splattered Kidomaru's brains, what little of them there were, on the barrier a second before it fell.

Next thing she knows, this little mutt is gnawing off her fucking arm, her flute was MIA, and-

"GRAH!"

"Fuck!" Now she had some fucking brat tackle her to the ground, biting her other arm, "Get offa me you little brat!" Tayuya managed to swing the kid off of her arm.

Dazed a bit, the kid licked Tayuya's blood off her lips, suddenly looking bewildered as she got a good look at her target, "Sissy?"

Tayuya's eye twitched. Okay, fuck this, fuck the flute and fuck restraint, she was going to level two and ripping this mutt and the damn brat to shreds with her bare-fucking-hands-

Or at least that was the plan, right before she was on her hands and knees, struggling to stay conscious, barely managing to look up to see some scar faced, one armed, red haired fucker (And dear god, she was really starting to hate the color red) standing right in front of Orochimaru and his little zombies.

And the Zombies looked scared...She let that sink in for a moment...

Zombies, fucking indestructible, inexhaustible, unkillable fucking ZOMBIES...

And they were fucking near wetting themselves in front of this one-armed douche?

This...day...fucking...sucks, and Tayuya passed out.