The "TALK" Challenge

[holyknight]

My inspiration for this challenge comes from this thread on the Naruto Ideas Section.

Getting 'The Talk'... from Sakura

The setting it's on the Shinobi Academy, likely a few weeks before the Genin Graduation, and for some god's forsaken reason, BOTH the Sex Ed lesson teachers for both the girls and boys have fallen sick or called into an odd mission......

The way of the Hokage to get this solved? Con/blackmail/suborn a random Shinobi or Kunoichi for this, if not a pair.

We have seen on some snippets Anko's way to "teach" sex ed, true...but how MORINO Ibiki would teach Sex Ed? Or Hatake Kakashi, Uzuki Yuugao, Gekkou Hayate or Shiranuri Genma being paid for do this....anyone can see the bit prudish figure of Yuuhi Kurenai and Sarutobi Asuma having to dictate this class? Or the first Ino-Shika-Cho trio, along with Nara Yoshino, being conned into dictate this?

Hell, anyone can visualize both Jiraiya AND Tsunade dragged, kicking and screaming back to Konoha, because for some reason everyone refuses to do this mission, and Sarutobi has to act on a extreme way?? Or worse, a enemy nin, spying on Konoha, somehow gets dragged into this madness....

This is the Talk. L-Sama protect us of what may spawn from this. :jawdrop:

 

[zeebee1]

I can just see it happening later in the series.

Kakashi: Watch this video. I call this the conception of another Sarutobi. Konohamaru, you can't try to kill me until class is over.

 

[holyknight]

I can just see it happening later in the series.

Kakashi: Watch this video. I call this the conception of another Sarutobi. Konohamaru, you can't try to kill me until class is over.

Hmm...let's hope that nobody has a "anonymous" VHS, of Sasuke's mother, before she married....hehehehehe... :snigger: :snigger:

 

[Juubi]

Has anyone here wondered about Naruto's reaction? So far as I know, he wasn't put under the parent-induced illusion of storks or anything, but he wasn't told what his southern major organ was for either.

 

[nuclear death frog]

Naruto knows enough to create Oiroke no Jutsu (and the Harem variant) and to have some idea what it signifies. He is not ignorant.

 

[Prince Charon]

Naruto knows enough to create Oiroke no Jutsu (and the Harem variant) and to have some idea what it signifies. He is not ignorant.

That does not mean he knows where babies come from.

 

[Juubi]

He's never hinted that he knew anything about the ways of life just because he created the Oiroke. As a matter of fact, that technique, as far as we know, was created for the sole purpose of knocking out perverts ( like Iruka, Ebisu, and Sandaime)

 

[Lumias]

"So to get the Mangekyou Sharingan, you need to kill your best friend, because it appears from the Trauma induced by this?" Kakashi asked the bound Sasuke Naruto had brought back from his attempt to flee to Orochimaru.

"Yes, I need it to kill my brother, so I will kill Naruto," Sasuke snarled.

Naruto looked uncomfortable and Sakura was gaping like a fish speechless.

"Hmm, if it's mental agony and Trauma you need, I have a better idea, plus it will serve the second purpose of teaching something to this group that Tsunade insisted I teach," Kakashi said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his favorite video and popped it in.

*Cue cheesy 70's porn music*

"Holy shit," Sakura shouted.

Sasuke's eyes widened in horror as the camera focused on the woman's face.

"K-kakashi sensei, what are they doing?" Naruto asked in confusion.

"They're fucking, rather vigoursly I might add," Kakashi answered.

"What's fucking, and why is he putting the place he pisses from in the place she does? It seems kinda gross," Naruto asked again as the camera panned so you could see the Guys face as well as the girls.

"Hey it's the Yondaime," Naruto said. "Well if he's doing it, it must be something important. I swear on my Nindo that I will be the best at Fucking and use it to become the Hokage."

"Now we're getting to the bondage portion of the tape," Kakashi giggled perversely.

Sakura's eyes widened further and she opened her mouth to say something, closed it. Licked her lips and continued watching.

"M-mom?" Sasuke said in horror before he tried to close his eyes then realizing he couldn't.

"No no Sasuke you will watch this for the next 72 hours, That's when I have to rewind the tape. They went at it for a long time," Kakashi said.

Naruto had a notepad out and was taking notes, Sakura was squirming in her seat and breathing heavy, Kakashi was giggling again, and Sasuke's Sharingan was starting to whirl.

"That lady is really pretty Kakashi-sensei, do you have any more tapes with her in it?" Naruto asked.

"Sure do, she made a lot of tapes I got a whole wall of em. The only one with her I don't have is the one where she did Guy. No matter how hot she is, it's not worth seeing him naked," Kakashi answered.

"GWAAAGGGHHH," Sasuke screamed as his sharingan evolved.

 

[Luthorne]

:rofl:

Hmm, now that would be interesting to see the fallout of. Especially with Naruto...definitely some delicious lemon potential there. :sisi:

 

[kaiseryuu]

Ugh, I'm seeing the Sennin teaching a class with Orochimaru being the only one to actually have the guts as Jiraiya and Tsunade watch in horror as Orochimaru casually starts talking about bondage and S&M...

 

[Prince Charon]

:rofl:

Hmm, now that would be interesting to see the fallout of. Especially with Naruto...definitely some delicious lemon potential there. :sisi:

Hmm, imagine Sakura's reaction, when her parents are in Mikoto's next tape. I don't see her wanting to date a guy who might be her half-brother.

EDIT: Random thought - sex ed is traditionally taught by a Hyuuga who is attending that class, or who already graduated, because they've already seen it all. Poor Hinata.

 

[Juubi]

Is it just me or did Sakura start to really 'enjoy' the video around the bon'dage part? I saw that and pictured a thought bubble above her head displaying a tied up Naruto and Sasuke. Not that much of a fan of the pairing, but the brain wants what it wants.