The White Devil of the Moon Chapter 10

bissek

Well-Known Member
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Disclaimer: I do not own MGLN or Sailor Moon

The White Devil of the Moon
By bissek
Chapter 10
A MotherÆs Love

NanohaÆs eyes widened with surprise as FateÆs lips met hers. For most of her life she had been so dedicated to her work that the thought of romance hadnÆt occurred to her until after she had learned of her previous incarnationÆs love life. But given how little she had in common with the reincarnation of SerenityÆs beau, the notion of continuing that relationship didnÆt really appeal to her.

NanohaÆs mind flashed back to some of her memories of Fate over the past year. Waking up from a coma to find Fate sitting next to the bed, tears streaking her face. Going through a long, painful convalescence from her injuries with Fate always there to help her. Sinking into despair over the possibility that she might never fly again only to have Fate volunteer to take her back into the skies. Winding up in the hospital again after defeating Jadeite at KyouyaÆs wedding and FateÆs panicked scolding afterwards.

Fate had always been there for her since the day she had returned from her trial seven years ago. Nanoha had never realized how much she had meant to Fate up until that point. And how much it had meant to her to have someone so faithful, so kind, to be there when she needed her. Nanoha slowly wrapped her arms around the back of her closest friend and returned the kiss.


The group that returned from the moon was rather subdued. The thought that the fall of the Moon Kingdom was at least partially the fault of its own royal family as the result of some rather foolish mistakes tarnished the idealized image that the Senshi had created in their minds about the world their previous lives had lived in. Far more troubling was the sight of all of the bodies. Seeing that many corpses in one place was bad enough, but the bodies or the personal effects of the fallen were intact enough to be recognizable far too often. There was hardly a room in the palace that hadnÆt contained a body that had once been somebody important to one of them. A sibling. A parent. A cousin. A friend. The fact that they found their own bodies and remembered what happened to them just added to the horror. Every single one of the Senshi privately expected that they would have nightmares that night.

The only member of the group with any positive thoughts on the expedition was Yuuno. He had managed to be the first to explore an absolutely pristine ruin from an obscure civilization. Between his recordings, the artifacts that he had secured, and the data he had downloaded from the computer systems he had located, he had enough information that it would take him years to properly document and publish it all. But even though the trip was a tremendous professional success for him, the mood of the rest of the party prevented him from focusing on that (Even Signum, who had no connection to the Moon Kingdom, was caught up in it û apparently the devastation reminded her of some things she had lived through under previous masters). Especially considering that the reason for their mood was rather obvious.

Rein greeted the group as they arrived back at the TSAB base.

ôI was wondering when you people would show up. Nanoha got back hours ago.ö

The group knew exactly why she had left the expedition early. Minako stepped forward. She (or rather, her previous self) had been directly involved with the first of the events that had made Nanoha want to leave, so it was probably best if she was the one who talked to her about them.

ôCould I speak with her? She was rather upset when she left.ö

ôIÆll go see.ö The miniature girl flew away, only to return very quickly. ôUm, I donÆt think they want to be disturbed.ö

ôThey?ö Artemis asked, ôWho are they and what are they doing?ö

Rein blushed furiously. ôUhhà letÆs just say that Amy won the pool.ö

Six sets of eyes turned to look at Ami Mizuno.

ôDonÆt look at me. I donÆt know anything about a pool.ö The girl said defensively as her colleagues stared at her.

ôI think Rein meant Amy Harlaown, FateÆs sister-in-law. IÆd actually forgotten about that pool. Hayate must have set that up five years ago.ö Yuuno explained.

ôAnd what is this pool about?ö Luna inquired.

ôWhen Fate would finally confess to Nanoha.ö

The jaws of all the Senshi dropped as one.


After the revelation that the Moon Princess had apparently sought comfort from the unpleasant facts of how she had lived her previous life in the arms of another woman, the Senshi dispersed. Mamoru trudged home slowly, trying to wrap his mind around what had happened.

The memory of Serenity had been a major part of his life for well over a year. The memories of their time together in the Silver Millennium often seemed more real to him than the memories of the present day. The reason his short-lived relationship with Rei had fallen apart was because he couldnÆt get the princess out of his head. And the princess had just dumped him.

Mamoru knew that their first date hadnÆt gone well, and that Serenity hadnÆt been happy with what she had learned at the Moon Palace, but he hadnÆt thought it had gone that badly. Now he had lost her. And given that SerenityÆs friends had known this had been coming that theyÆd had a betting pool on exactly when it would occur running for several years, it was highly unlikely that heÆd be able to get her back.

The woman he had loved enough to die for had found someone else. What was he supposed to do now?


Alicia was feeling a little light-headed when she got out of bed. She wasnÆt sure why this had happened, but she hadnÆt put too much thought into it. She didnÆt want to worry her mother with a minor complaint, especially since she was ill herself. It was probably just that she hadnÆt had enough sleep the night before. It would pass.

Unfortunately, it didnÆt pass. Alicia found the sensation slowly increasing as the day passed. As she listened to her teachers lecturing, her vision would occasionally blur, and the sound of the teacherÆs voice would fade out for a few moments before the world returned to focus. By the time lunch came around, Alicia had reluctantly concluded that she would have to tell her mother about this when she got back home.

Alicia ate her lunch with Hotaru. Nobody ever wanted to join them. It seemed that a lot of the other students had decided to shun Hotaru because of her open use of healing magic, thinking it strange. A number of them also avoided Alicia because she associated with the other girl.

ôSo you say that there are other mages in the area?ö She asked.

Hotaru nodded. ôIÆve never seen them myself, though. Nobody was really sure they really existed until a few weeks ago. TheyÆd just been rumors up until then. Come to think of it, one of the ones that got photographed looks a lot like you. Do you have a cousin named Fate?ö

Alicia shook her head. ôMother never told me about any cousins. SheÆs the onlyàö For some reason, Alicia could no longer make out her own words. Her vision started to blur again. Her head spun as the world went dark.


Having a friend to eat lunch with was new experience for Hotaru. Having a friend at all was a new experience for her. Her unusual ability had resulted in her being ostracized by everyone in her age group. The sight of her first and only friend passing out for no apparent reason horrified her.

Hotaru put her hands on her unconscious friend and called up healing powers. Nothing happened. Hotaru gritted her teeth and focused harder. After three endless minutes, she had to stop, gasping for breath. It hadnÆt worked. She had never seen an injury that she couldnÆt heal before. Terrified of losing her only friend, Hotaru climbed to her feet. She had to get help.

She took one step, and fell over. The strange paralysis that had affected her toes had spread to her entire right foot. Scrambling back to her feet, Hotaru started walking more carefully, leaning on the wall to help her balance with an unresponsive foot. Her friend needed to see a doctor fast, and Hotaru wasnÆt about to let a bad foot prevent her from getting one.


Precia sat by her daughterÆs bedside, holding her hand. She had rushed to the hospital as soon as she learned what had happened.

The local doctors had done what they could to figure out the source of AliciaÆs malady, but they were constrained by the limits of medical knowledge on the backwater planet in which they were trained. Alicia was slowly fading out, and it was unlikely that she would wake again if a treatment was not found.

Precia was not limited by the limited knowledge base of a backwater planet that didnÆt even acknowledge the existence of scientific thaumaturgy. She knew exactly why Alicia was dying. The life energy infusion that Precia had provided had been sufficient to revive her daughter, but had not fully restored her. The power was now running out, and when it did, AliciaÆs life would go with it.

She needed more energy. The problem was that a regular infusion of life energy would require gathering it regularly, and doing that would cause Precia to run the risk of encountering agents of the TSAB and the Dark Kingdom, either of which would lock her up and kill Alicia if they could. No, a periodic recharge of life energy was too dangerous.

But what if she instead went for a single massive infusion? If she gathered enough power at once, and put it all into Alicia, she might be able to induce a self-sustained reaction. Then Precia would only need to go through the dangers of gathering the energy once. But where could she get the life energy she needed?

Precia smiled as a thought occurred to her. She was in a hospital. People died in hospitals all the time. All she had to do was drain some people who were seriously ill and nobody would notice that they hadnÆt died of natural causes. And it wasnÆt as if anyone in this place really mattered.

Having decided on a plan, Precia left her daughterÆs room and started looking for people to drain.


Dr Saeko Mizuno looked over her notes on her latest patient and was completely stumped. Basic analysis of the condition of Alicia Testarossa didnÆt show any traditional symptoms of illness. She simply had all her vital signs slowly and steadily dropping for no reason. It was like she was some kind of wind-up toy that was running down. At the moment it seemed like it was only a matter of time before the girlÆs pulse dropped to the point where she would go into brain death, followed by actual death. Saeko forced her mind away from the depressing train of thought she was on. She needed to focus on saving the girl, not on what would happen if she couldnÆt.

Her office phone rang. Glad for the distraction, Saeko picked it up, to find one of the duty nurses on the other end.

ôDr Mizuno? We just lost Seziyate-san.ö The nurse reported.

That was strange. Seziyate had been seriously ill, but he had already gotten over the worst of his illness. Saeko was certain that he would have recovered enough to go home by the end of the week. There was no reason why he should suddenly end up dead. Certainly not without showing some sign that there had been complications with his treatment before this.

ôWhat happened?ö She demanded.

ôThatÆs just it. We donÆt know. One minute he was fine, and the next his vitals just started dropping rapidly. Now heÆs dead. We would have called you as it happened, but it happened so fast that it was over before we could report it.ö

ôIÆm on my way.ö

This wasnÆt good. People shouldnÆt drop dead for no reason. Especially when they had already been successfully treated for what was wrong with them. Something very bad was happening.

Saeko arrived at the nurseÆs post to find her missing and an alarm going off indicating that another patient was suddenly dying. Saeko hurried to the patientÆs room, almost running into a woman with graying hair in her rush. It was too late. The patient was already dead. Looking down, Saeko saw the still form of Nurse Hasegawa. Putting on a pair of disposable gloves, she checked for a pulse and found that the nurse was dead as well.

What had happened? There wasnÆt any sign of physical trauma, and a disease normally wouldnÆt kill its host that quickly û if it did, it would die with the host without getting the chance to spread. This simply wasnÆt natural. She had a very bad feeling about this.

Saeko left the room, intending to call the pathology department so that a specialist could figure out exactly what had happened here. There could be an epidemic of a totally unknown disease starting out, and if that was the case it needed to be verified and this whole ward û possibly the entire hospital û quarantined before it could wipe out half of Tokyo. As she returned to the nurseÆs station, she saw the woman she almost ran into earlier looking at some of the records at the post.

ôExcuse me, but patient records are restricted.ö

The woman looked up, stared at her a moment, and then bolted.

Realizing that this was not a normal reaction to what would have been a request to not go through hospital paperwork, Saeko snapped out orders to an orderly to have full autopsies done on the three dead bodies they had suddenly acquired and that the rooms they had died in were to be considered biohazard areas until a cause of death was determined. She then followed after the woman, calling for security. If she was in any way connected to the sudden deaths, then she needed to be isolated before she could cause it to spread any further.


It hadnÆt taken long for Precia to find some people to drain. The documents at the nearby nurseÆs station noted that several people in the ward she was in were listed as being in serious condition. Noting the name and room number of one of them, she walked into his room and extracted all of his energy. Then she went back to choose her next energy donor.

The second time around, Precia encountered some difficulties. Siphoning away the life energy of the man in the bed was a simple exercise. But as she finished up, a woman in a nurseÆs outfit came into the room.

ôWho are you? What are you doing with that man?ö She demanded.

Precia cursed her ill fortune. She had already been caught. But then a thought occurred to her. Why did she have to only take the life energy of the already dying? She could get more power by taking it from healthy specimens. It wasnÆt as if these people really mattered. The only thing that was important was saving Alicia. Precia cast the energy draining spell on the nurse. A couple minutes later, the dead body of the nurse dropped to the floor, and PreciaÆs supply of life energy was greatly increased.

Precia returned to the nurseÆs post to choose her next donor, nearly running into a doctor heading in the other direction. As she was going through the notes left behind at the post, she heard a voice telling her that she shouldnÆt be doing that. Looking up, Precia saw the doctor she had nearly collided with.

There hadnÆt been that much time since their brief encounter. The doctor would have had to have turned around almost immediately in order to get back to where they were so quickly. And the one place Precia could think of that a doctor would want to hurry to and then promptly turn around was the room where she had killed the patient and the nurse. She had been caught again.

Draining the doctor wasnÆt an option at the moment. It would take too much time, and she was in too visible a location. There was too much of a risk that others would pass by and notice, which would cause an alarm to be sounded, which would bring in the TSAB. She couldnÆt risk that, not yet. Precia ran.

Making her way back to AliciaÆs room, she hurriedly started infusing her child with the stolen energy. The TSAB would learn about this, she was sure of it. She had to revive Alicia and flee the area as soon as possible û her current address was recorded on AliciaÆs records, which they would track down. It would mean Alicia would have to leave her first friend behind, but the TSAB had left her child to die before, and would again. It was the only way to protect her.

The door opened, and the doctor who had caught her walked in.

ôStep away from the girl.ö The woman ordered. ôI donÆt know how the other patients suddenly died, but I am not having it happen a third time.ö

ôOf course it wonÆt.ö Precia agreed. ôIÆm doing everything I can to save her. And youÆre going to help me!ö

Now that they were out of the corridors, Precia could drain away the doctorÆs energy without being noticed. Dragging the woman away from the doorway to keep her out of sight, she started the process of extracting the power needed to save Alicia. The useless so-called doctors of this provincial backwater had been totally unable to figure out what was wrong with her daughter, but one of them would cure her just the same. Precia laughed at the irony.

A scream split the air. Precia looked up to see her daughter had awakened, and was staring at the scene before her in utter horror. Other people started entering the room, drawn by the sudden scream.

Precia could have crushed the intruders without any trouble at all. But the sight of her beloved daughter looking at her with fear in her eyes completely unnerved her. Unfortunately, Precia didnÆt have time to explain why her actions were necessary. They had to leave immediately. She released her spell, causing the doctor to fall to the ground, unconscious. She picked up her daughter and made for the window, only for Alicia to start panicking. As she exited the building and started levitating away, Alicia squirmed out of her arms, falling back into the hospital. She was quickly grabbed by a guard and taken away from the window.

If the guards were there, then the TSAB had to have been notified. She had run out of time. Precia fled the scene, vowing to return to rescue her daughter later.


AmiÆs mother being in the hospital wasnÆt exactly a remarkable event. She was always at the hospital. Between her motherÆs work schedule, and the schedule Ami had as a result of school, juku, and Senshi work, the last time the two of them had been at home at the same time (Not counting times when one or both of them was asleep) had been three weeks previously. Her mother being in the hospital as the patient was an unusual occurrence, however.

AmiÆs mother wasnÆt just injured or ill, though. She was in a coma as the result of an attack that had killed two patients and a nurse. And while none of the doctors could figure out what was wrong with her mother, Ami knew what it was immediately: a life energy drain.

This was a troubling development. The Dark Kingdom had never drained someone to the point where the victim actually died before. Even if it was because they wanted to be able to drain a given victim again at a later date, they had always left their victims alive. In addition to the implications it had with the war, it was also bad for AmiÆs mother. Normally, people who had been drained of life energy recovered after some rest. But nobody had ever been drained to this extent before. Ami had no idea if her mother would revive in the same way that the hundreds of earlier victims had.

The one fortunate thing about the incident was that a lot of people had seen the youma responsible, which would make it easier to track down and destroy. But when Ami heard the description û and the name of the patient in the room where her mother had been attacked û she realized that the perpetrator hadnÆt been a youma. It had been a woman. A woman named Precia Testarossa.


Travelling to the hospital with only one functional foot was difficult, but Hotaru was able to find a way to limp her way there without losing balance. When she finally made it there, she found the building surrounded by police vehicles.

It took some time to get to AliciaÆs room. That entire section of the hospital was filled with policemen, who were interviewing everyone. Hotaru wasnÆt sure what had happened, but it must have been serious for this to be happening.

When Hotaru finally got to AliciaÆs room, she found her friend shaking in fear.

ôWhatÆs the matter, Alicia? What happened?ö Hotaru asked.

ôHotaru?ö Alicia gasped. ôIt was awful! Mother was casting a spell on somebody. It was hurting her, I could tell. And Mother was laughing the whole time. Now people are saying that she killed some people. WhatÆs going on?ö

Was that why the police were here? That would make sense, if it wasnÆt for the fact that what Alicia saw didnÆt make any sense. The woman that Hotaru had met had been a caring mother who happened to be very ill. She didnÆt seem like someone who would go out and start killing people.

As Hotaru tried to calm her friend down, she realized that there was someone in the doorway. Someone she recognized, even if they had never met before. It was the girl who looked so much like her friend that Hotaru had wondered if they were related. It was the mage known as Fate.


As the only member of the TSABÆs law enforcement branch present, Fate was called on to respond to the report that Precia had attacked a hospital and killed three people. While Fate could understand why her mother would attack TSAB agents (Even if she didnÆt approve of it), this time she had attacked civilians who had never even heard of her. For the sake of everyone involved, she would have to be contained, and soon.

Getting past the front desk was trivial. Ami Mizuno was already there visiting her mother, so she walked her right through as another visitor. From there, Fate was easily able to get to the room that her mother had fled to and then escaped from. The sight before her was something she wasnÆt expecting.

There were two girls in the room, who were talking about what had happened in the hospital. Unlike most of the people in the hospital, these two girls knew that Precia had used magic to kill her victims, and were discussing it openly. One of them, a dark-haired girl in a school uniform of some sort, Fate didnÆt know. But the other girl, the one lying in the bed in a hospital gown, she did know. Fate knew that girlÆs face as well as she did her own. After all, from a certain point of view, the face was her own. Fate had seen many things over the years, but she had never thought she would see Alicia Testarossa alive.

Looking at the girl in whose image she had been created, an old, half-forgotten wound started to ache. She remembered learning that every time that her mother had smiled in her memories, she had been smiling at someone else. That of all the mother-daughter photos her mother treasured, she had not been in any of them. That she had lived her life competing for her motherÆs love against a ghost, and had never once had a chance of success. There was a part of her that really wanted to hate the girl in the bed.

But that part of her was countered by the fact that Fate knew her sister far too well. She had been created as a copy of Alicia, and that included all of her memories. That included the memory of one morning that implied that AliciaÆs reaction to Fate would be very different from PreciaÆs.


Alicia turned her head to see what Hotaru was staring at. To her surprise, the figure standing in the doorway was her. Or rather, a woman who looked like an older version of her.

ôItÆs nice to meet you after all these years, Alicia.ö The stranger said.

ôDo I know you?ö She asked.

ôYouÆve never seen me before today, but I think you know who I am. Do you remember the last picnic your mother took you on before she had to start working long hours at work?ö

Alicia nodded, not sure where this was going.

ôAt that picnic, your mother asked you what you wanted for your next birthday. Do you remember what you asked her for?ö

ôYes. I asked her foràö Alicia paused. How did this woman know about that? The only person she told that to was her mother. Could she actually beà?

The woman walked to the side of the bed.

ôMy name is Fate Testarossa Harlaown,ö She said. ôIÆm your little sister.ö

ôBut thatÆs impossible!ö Hotaru protested, ôYouÆve got to be at least sixteen. How could you be AliciaÆs younger sister? SheÆs only six!ö

ôIf we count the time she spent in medical stasis, sheÆs thirty nine.ö

ôThirtyà nine? How long was I ill?ö Alicia gasped.

ôYou were seriously injured when something went wrong with MotherÆs project.ö The stranger û no, her sister û explained. ôSheÆs spent most of the past thirty-three years trying to heal you.ö

Thirty three years. Her mother had implied that sheÆd been out for a long time, but she had never imagined that it had been that long. No wonder she had looked so much older.

ôWhy didnÆt Mother ever mention you before?ö

FateÆs eyes were sad. ôMotherà doesnÆt like me.ö

ôWhy?ö

To answer, Fate tossed a pen onto the bed. As Alicia picked it up, Fate produced a second pen.

ôWhat did I do differently than you?ö

Alicia was puzzled for a moment, and then she realized. Alicia was holding her pen in her left hand. Fate was using her right hand.

ôWe look so much alike that she couldnÆt help but be reminded of you whenever she looked at me.ö Fate explained. ôBut weÆre different enough that anything I did, even something as simple as picking up a pen, reminded her that I wasnÆt you, and that sheÆd lost you.ö

Alicia had always wanted a sister. Now she had one. It was sad that Fate and Mother didnÆt get along, but now that Alicia was better, perhaps they could make up. And maybe Fate could help figure out what why their mother had acted so strangely. Alicia smiled at her sister.


Sorting things out with the authorities was a very time consuming process. Fate was glad that she was one of the few TSAB employees who actually had records on this planet. Proving that she was AliciaÆs next of kin after Precia was hard enough without having to explain why there was no legal documentation proving that she existed at all (Fate didnÆt even try to get them to understand that she was AliciaÆs younger sister). But she was able to eventually convince the hospital staff to understand that AliciaÆs condition was not really treatable and release her to FateÆs custody.

Dealing with the police who were looking into her motherÆs triple murder was more difficult. Fate had had plenty of experience in dealing with law enforcement in her years as one, but here she was dealing with individuals who had never heard of the agency she worked for. The unexpected publicity resulting from the wedding battle helped get her foot in the door in that matter, as did the fact that she was able to drop the name of NanohaÆs aunt, who was a senior police officer in a department that the Tokyo PD did acknowledge the existence of.

After Fate established that she was someone who understood what had happened that caused three people to die for no obvious reason and who the person responsible was, Fate turned over a copy of her motherÆs reactivated file that had been modified to only mention things that the local authorities would understand. She then had to explain that Alicia was in no way connected to the child abuse charge before the officer blew his top. In the end, a report was sent back to the local police precinct that would likely result in a warrant being written out for one Dr Precia Testarossa, murderess.

With all the paperwork taken care of, Fate took her sister back to the TSAB base she had been staying in. There was no way that Alicia could be taken back to her previous address. The police would be tearing the place apart looking for evidence they could use against Precia within the hour, and given that she was apparently willing to kill anyone in the general vicinity to get life energy to maintain AliciaÆs health, it was probably for the best if Precia did not know where her daughter was.

Fate remembered the dream world that the Book of Darkness had trapped her in, where she had had a happy family life with her mother, Alicia, and Linith. Leaving that idyllic fantasy behind so that she could help Nanoha was one of the hardest things she had ever done. She was genuinely touched by the fact that Alicia had offered to make that dream come as close to true as possible (Given that Linith had been dead for eight years) the moment that she learned of the rift between Fate and their mother. Unfortunately, it wasnÆt likely to happen. Even if Precia could be convinced to accept her second child, the crimes she had committed while trying to revive her firstborn would see her spending the rest of her days in a prison facility, surrounded by fellow inmates who would undoubtedly take a dim view of the child abuse mentioned on her record. And on the other side of the equation, it was only a matter of time before Alicia once again suffered the same malady that landed her in the hospital in the first place.

Fate knew that her sisterÆs continued survival was both unnatural and temporary. But she planned to be there for Alicia for what little time she had left. Alicia had always wanted a little sister, and even circumstances had caused her ælittleÆ sister to be nearly three times her age, she now had one. Let her enjoy what time she could have with her family. Unless a miracle happened, she didnÆt have much time left.


Miyuki had had a wonderful evening. It had been a long time since her last date. None of the relationships she had gotten into with any of the boys in the area had ever gone anywhere. After her impromptu statement during her brotherÆs wedding, a number of them actually seemed to be afraid of her. Then she met Masato.

She had never before dated someone she had first met as a customer at the family cafÚ, but she was glad that she met him. After the commotion caused by the wedding battle, it was nice to meet someone who wasnÆt obsessed with the revelation that her sister was a magical girl. After he had been showing up at the Midori-ya often enough to be considered a regular, during which time they had talked during the occasional lulls in the work load, he had asked her out.

The date had been fantastic. Masato had been quite charming and sheÆd had a marvelous time. Now, as he drove her back home in his very expensive Italian sports car (Of a model that Miyuki found highly amusing), she found herself hoping that he would ask her out again. Masato Sanjouin seemed to be very good boyfriend material.


Omake: Tying up a loose end

Fate went down for breakfast, Nanoha at her side. The night before she had finally confessed her feelings to her oldest friend, and Nanoha had accepted them. As she walked down the stairs with her arm around NanohaÆs waist, she couldnÆt think of how her life could be more perfect.

ôDid you two have fun last night?ö Hayate asked, smirking. The other two Aces blushed furiously at the revelation that the change in their relationship was already known.

ôAre you alright withà us?ö Nanoha asked.

ôThe only problem I have with what you two did was your timing. If you had put it off for another two weeks IÆd have won the pool.ö

ôYou meanàö Fate began.

ôFate, everyone knew how you felt for Nanoha. It was only a matter of time. Oh, yes. One of the Senshi left a message before she went home last night.ö

As Fate wrapped her mind around the fact that her feelings for Nanoha hadnÆt been nearly as secret as sheÆd thought, Nanoha unfolded that Hayate passed her. She looked over the note once, and then passed it to Fate.

Mamoru and I used to date before his memories of the Moon Princess started returning. Since you donÆt appear to want him, do you mind if I take him back?

-Rei


Fate looked at Nanoha. Nanoha smiled, and scribbled ôGo aheadö on the note.

ôCould someone have this sent to Hino-sanÆs place?ö Nanoha asked.

Fate took NanohaÆs hand as Zafira volunteered to deliver the note. It seemed that NanohaÆs other suitor would be taken care of for them. FateÆs day was turning out to be even better than she thought it would.


A/N: Last chapter certainly turned out to be controversial. I think the review by For Spite did a good job of explaining why Nanoha acted the way she did. In regards to the Picoha omake, there are certain things the disapproving reviewers didnÆt consider.
1: Picoha wasnÆt protecting the time stream, she was trying to alter it into an unnatural state dependent on the paradox she was creating.
2: Without her mothers, Vivio would be a brainwashed slave controlling a Weapon of Mass Destruction, who would undoubtedly end up causing several massacres.
3: Picoha is the one who started the fight, without making any attempt to explain her actions (As is traditional for MGLN antagonists)
4: Vivio had no way of knowing that subduing her opponent non-lethally would result in Picoha being retconned out of existence.

AliciaÆs only six. SheÆs not really prepared to accept how crazy her mother is, especially since sheÆs only seen her acting irrationally once.

AliciaÆs desire for a sister is never mentioned in the anime, but it does get mentioned in the movie û at the most heartbreaking moment possible.

NephriteÆs car in SM canon is a Ferrari Testarossa.
 

ragnarok1337

Well-Known Member
#2
LOVE IT. This is a great chapter. Before I comment on the rest, I have to say that I was going to post a review on FF.net about all the complaints about Vivio's actions. Some of those listed I was going to post, and I'm going to list a few others for the readers out there.

If Fate doesn't meet Nanoha, then she will be tortured for failing, and the TSAB will get more involved. Also, without Nanoha and Fate to fight, Precia might cause an even bigger dimensional disturbance than what actually happened.

In A's, without Fate to help out, Gil's plan might have actually succeded, or gone all wrong and caused the destruction he wanted to prevent. Furthermore, Nanoha probably wouldn't have a reason to be a mage, until she was found by Luna or someone, and would be much weaker than canon.

Finally, Crystal Tokyo only appears to come about due to the Great Freeze, which wipes out most life on Earth. By stopping the great freeze, they prevent millions of deaths.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Thoughts about the chapter itself? It was GOOD. If you keep the Omake as something that actually happens in the story, this will keep Mamoru from going down the Beryl route, and will make an interesting dynamic between the people.

Nice to see you take my suggestion about Alicia being afraid of her mother. Sure she's a child so her reaction isn't too extreme, but it's nice to see consequences for Precia's actions. Fate and Alicia calling each other sisters is nice, even if Fate isn't letting on how evil Precia really is. Want to see Precia's reaction to THAT.

Edit: Personally, I think now Nanoha and the Senshi should decide to go (at least partially) public, telling the news about just what they're facing, as well as giving an explanation as to both the recent events in the hospital and the unusual events in Uminari and Tokyo in general. The unexplained earthquake 6 years ago (Jewel Seed Incident) might also be explained to show just how dangerous their enemies can be. Even descriptions on the Youma and how they are resistant to most conventional arms would be effective

Information about the Moon Kingdom is optional. Although it would be interesting for Nanoha to give the Japanese government permission to use any MK tech they might find on their planetary exploration efforts. Then again, she might do the same to the TSAB, considering Alhazard and the MK seem to be roughly equal at a technology level in your story. Which might acutally be a good source of conflict with Precia. After all, she wanted to get to Alhazard, and if the MK has the same technology level...
 

BF110C4

Well-Known Member
#3
Good chapter, the only thing I can think it needs is a little more Fate-Nanoha interaction, especially the reaction of Nanoha to the kiss, and maybe an explanation of why Fate talked with Alicia, and mention such delicate matters while Hotaru was present in the room, just enough for her to know that either Hotaru is Alicia's best friend (something that Fate can understand all too well) or that Hotaru is a mage herself.

Good hunting Rei...
 
#4
Good Stuff An Enraged Sailor Mercury Ouch Precia Curb stomp ahead please.
 

zeebee1

Well-Known Member
#5
Rei will lose, the only minor Mamoru was ever interested in is no longer a minor. And Nanoha is likely to supply Alicia with her miracle soon.
 

WarChild

Well-Known Member
#6
ragnarok1337 said:
Thoughts about the chapter itself? It was GOOD. If you keep the Omake as something that actually happens in the story, this will keep Mamoru from going down the Beryl route, and will make an interesting dynamic between the people.
I don't know... Rule of Drama from Mamoru being Brainwashed Crazy... if he can or can't reconcile the fact this is only a girl who has the memories... but they are only memories to her... like extra files in a hard drive that are there, but isn't executed, only read and filed away.

Question is... will it be brainwashing... or "More than mind control"?
 

Seiya

Well-Known Member
#7
Finally, Crystal Tokyo only appears to come about due to the Great Freeze, which wipes out most life on Earth. By stopping the great freeze, they prevent millions of deaths.
Pure Fanon.

There is not a single death due to CT. A spell occurs on Earth that puts everyone to sleep for a 1000 years and NQS Wakes them up. That is it. No death toll at all. Nobody says that anyone died. Not the Senshi, not black moon. It's just people trying to make the senshi look bad that started that fanon.
 

ragnarok1337

Well-Known Member
#8
^Warchild: Brainwashed Mamoru might be interesting. Especially after the whole debacle is over there's a good "My God What Have I Done" moment.

^Seiya. Oh. Well, then...Still, being frozen for 1000 years pretty bad. Things can happen in 1000 years. Things will break down. Earthquakes and volcanoes will probably happen. Stars and planets will shift at the very least. There will be mass panics after people realize what happened. And possibly riots when Neo Queen Nanoha announces herself as queen of everything.

After all, if everyone is frozen in stasis, they will still be thinking of things in 1990. Do you think anyone in the 90's-00s would be willing to go along with that? Any majority, I mean?

Either way, preventing will be a good thing.
 

MWkillkenny84

Well-Known Member
#9
Good chapter.
Fate and Alicia meets in Real Life, YU-UHHHH!!!
And Fate meets Hotaru.
Will the cutest Planet-destroyer character of the Anime meet Nanoha (and will Mistress 9 be befriended by the White Devil?
Vote: 10
 

WarChild

Well-Known Member
#10
ragnarok1337 said:
^Warchild: Brainwashed Mamoru might be interesting. Especially after the whole debacle is over there's a good "My God What Have I Done" moment.
Well... it would kind of a new spin... given Mamoru being brainwashed isn't a new thing.

"You threw away your loyalty to the Earth Kingdom for the Moon Princess... and for what? She ended up throwing you aside. What has the remants of the Moon Kingdom given you that we can't give?"

Probably there would be some play on the fact that the people of Earth already had misgivings of the people from the Moon.

Mamoru's going to forget that reviving Metalia is a bad thing... even for the Earth Kingdom. Metalia is an aspect of Chaos after all, out to destroy everything. There will be nothing to rule.. much less anyone to rule anything.

^Seiya. Oh. Well, then...Still, being frozen for 1000 years pretty bad. Things can happen in 1000 years. Things will break down. Earthquakes and volcanoes will probably happen. Stars and planets will shift at the very least. There will be mass panics after people realize what happened. And possibly riots when Neo Queen Nanoha announces herself as queen of everything.

After all, if everyone is frozen in stasis, they will still be thinking of things in 1990. Do you think anyone in the 90's-00s would be willing to go along with that? Any majority, I mean?

Either way, preventing? will be a good thing.
Remember, The "Great Freeze" is only an anime thing, probably to explain the how and why The Senshi are given sovereignty over the Earth without diving too deeply into the potential political messes of trying to resurrect a monarchy. If I recall, the end of the SM manga had the founding of Crystal Tokyo... no 1000 year sleep or freeze.
 

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
#12
Kind of hoping the omake is canon for this fic, Rei doesn't get enough love.

Good part.
 

holyknight

Well-Known Member
#13
Why i feel that Hotaru's destiny here will be radically different, as she chooses to preserve her friend's life, even to the cost of her own, and possibly, on the process, laying both a burden and blessing upon Alicia?
 

ragnarok1337

Well-Known Member
#14
zeebee1 said:
Nanoha is likely to supply Alicia with her miracle soon.
Nanoha, miracle? Oh, that would be ridiculous. About as ridiculous as an idiot in a sailor suit using magical powers to BRING BACK THE DEAD.

Speaking of, I don't think Nanoha will use the rezzing spell as much as Usagi did, probably because of her beliefs. She may hate death, but would disagree with rezzing people all the time.
 

zeebee1

Well-Known Member
#15
It's not undoing death, it's fixing mistakes. All she has to do is heal Alicia before Alicia dies.
 

ragnarok1337

Well-Known Member
#16
zeebee1 said:
It's not undoing death, it's fixing mistakes. All she has to do is heal Alicia before Alicia dies.
I thought that went without saying. Sure Nanoha would save lives by using her hax healing skills, but I don't think Nanoha would be as trigger-happy about using the rez spell as Usagi was. It could even be a big plot point. One of her friends has died, and part of Nanoha wants to resurrect them, while another part thinks that the dead should stay dead, and doesn't want to compromise her principles.

And just think of what it would do to her if a whole city, country...or even a whole WORLD dying would do to her.

-----------------------------------------------------
By the way, how DID Sailor Moon get so strong, anyway? As far as I can remember, none of the previous Queen Serenitys (I'm assuming it's a generational title) could do things like Rez a planet...and that's not getting into the MANGA powerlevels.
 

bissek

Well-Known Member
#17
holyknight said:
Why i feel that Hotaru's destiny here will be radically different, as she chooses to preserve her friend's life, even to the cost of her own, and possibly, on the process, laying both a burden and blessing upon Alicia?
Unfortunately, Hotaru's efforts to heal Alicia didn't actually accomplish anything, because Alicia's problem isn't really an illness or injury. But it's not going to be that much longer before she realizes that difficult healings are causing her latest health problem to spread, forcing her to choose between her own health and everyone else's.
 

ranmatoushin

Well-Known Member
#18
ragnarok1337 said:
zeebee1 said:
It's not undoing death, it's fixing mistakes. All she has to do is heal Alicia before Alicia dies.
I thought that went without saying. Sure Nanoha would save lives by using her hax healing skills, but I don't think Nanoha would be as trigger-happy about using the rez spell as Usagi was. It could even be a big plot point. One of her friends has died, and part of Nanoha wants to resurrect them, while another part thinks that the dead should stay dead, and doesn't want to compromise her principles.

And just think of what it would do to her if a whole city, country...or even a whole WORLD dying would do to her.

-----------------------------------------------------
By the way, how DID Sailor Moon get so strong, anyway? As far as I can remember, none of the previous Queen Serenitys (I'm assuming it's a generational title) could do things like Rez a planet...and that's not getting into the MANGA powerlevels.
Nanoha HAS healing skills? :huh:
are we thinking about the same character? because i think your getting mixed up with Cannon moon.
 

Aarik

Well-Known Member
#19
ranmatoushin said:
ragnarok1337 said:
zeebee1 said:
It's not undoing death, it's fixing mistakes. All she has to do is heal Alicia before Alicia dies.
I thought that went without saying. Sure Nanoha would save lives by using her hax healing skills, but I don't think Nanoha would be as trigger-happy about using the rez spell as Usagi was. It could even be a big plot point. One of her friends has died, and part of Nanoha wants to resurrect them, while another part thinks that the dead should stay dead, and doesn't want to compromise her principles.

And just think of what it would do to her if a whole city, country...or even a whole WORLD dying would do to her.

-----------------------------------------------------
By the way, how DID Sailor Moon get so strong, anyway? As far as I can remember, none of the previous Queen Serenitys (I'm assuming it's a generational title) could do things like Rez a planet...and that's not getting into the MANGA powerlevels.
Nanoha HAS healing skills? :huh:
are we thinking about the same character? because i think your getting mixed up with Cannon moon.
She is now Sailor Moon, Sailor Moon's power's are, among a few other things, Resurrecting the Dead and Healing.
 

ragnarok1337

Well-Known Member
#20
Aarik said:
ranmatoushin said:
Nanoha HAS healing skills?? :huh:
are we thinking about the same character? because i think your getting mixed up with Cannon moon.
She is now Sailor Moon, Sailor Moon's power's are, among a few other things, Resurrecting the Dead and Healing.
QFT

Exactly what I meant.
 

Seiya

Well-Known Member
#21
By the way, how DID Sailor Moon get so strong, anyway? As far as I can remember, none of the previous Queen Serenitys (I'm assuming it's a generational title) could do things like Rez a planet...and that's not getting into the MANGA powerlevels.
QS sealed Nehellenia like a boss. Usagi had to upgrade to Eternal Mode to beat Nehelenia. But its implied QS/Chibiusa could do and eventually do things similar to Usagi. Just not at her level. She revived trillions of people at once while fighting Chaos and keeping her body in tact in the Sea of Origin. Saturn/Moon had a system of Saturn destroying the world when things looked darkest so Moon could eventually bring it back.

Usagi herself though is broken as shit because it's implied she and the Ginzuishou are a broken piece off of the SM equivalent of god. Galaxia vs. Usagi was a onesided curbstomp battle. A severely injured and consistently mindfucked Usagi raped the shit out a girl who snapped her finger and blew up planets for lulz. She destroyed the girl who led a empire and was labelled as having the most destructive Crystal in the galaxy/universe.

Usagi had to constantly rez people because she fought people with World killing capabilities as a side effect. Metallia drove the whole planet into killing themselves or other people just by awakening. Pharaoh 90 was messing with the planet as a after effect.

And as for the Titles it's Queen Serenity, Neo-Queen Serenity (Usagi) and Princess/Queen Lady Serenity (Chibiusa)
 

Tsukino_kage

Well-Known Member
#22
Alicia wanting a sister is also in the supplementary material, I think. But if you're going to include the movie as your canon, it seems to contradict what Precia has already thought about Fate in this fic. Remember, at the end, when Precia was falling to her doom, she remembered what Alicia said about a sister and uttered her regret at how she treated Fate? Then in this fic, it seems Precia still hates Fate.
 
#24
Question does anyone think Nephrite will have a change of heart like he did in the anime here?
 

ragnarok1337

Well-Known Member
#25
What I didn't like about the movie was that the creators tried to excuse her actions by that small line. It failed. Horribly.
 
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