Chapter 20
Past Transgressions
Disclaimer: I donÆt own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.
I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.
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Shinji sat on the roof of the apartment complex, his wings flapping gently in the breeze, as he pondered his current situation.
Memories.
He remembered waking up, he remembered fighting the Angel.
Afterwards was a blank; only feelings and brief glimpses could be recalled between the two points.
He turned his head slightly to both sides, spotting the new wings he was sporting. This is a little messed up; I canÆt even remember getting the last pair.
That was what was bothering him most of all; the not-knowing. He knew something had occurred. Ritsuko told him that he had been inside the EvaÆs core for a month, taken in when the Angel had nearly cleaved him in two. He knew his mother resided within the core.
But he had only the vaguest impressions, and even when he had watched the video, seen what Unit 01 did to the Angel ... he couldnÆt recall one second of it.
ôThis sucks,ö he mumbled.
ôThey do not know as well.ö
He turned towards the door to the roof, seeing Kaoru leaning against it, his own wings out. ôWho doesnÆt?ö
ôThe Evangelions,ö he answered, walking towards Shinji. ôMana has also stated to me that Dante and Trident also have no knowledge of the events that transpired between their last engagements and their awakenings after you were ... ejected ... from the core of 01.ö
Shinji nodded, turning once more to face the scenery instead of looking at the pilot now sitting beside him. ôI feel like I should know some things, but itÆs as if they are out of my reach.ö
ôThat must be very agitating.ö
ôExtremely so,ö said Shinji. ôIÆm beginning to feel like a pawn, not a player.ö
ôEven in Chess, not all the pieces have incredible power.ö
ôI just want to know the full rules of the game,ö said Shinji.
ôPerhaps you are not ready to know everything, only meant to know that there is something more.ö
Shinji snorted. ôI donÆt like being used like that.ö
Kaoru nodded. ôPerhaps it will not be as undesirable after you learn what is hidden.ö
ôMaybe,ö sulked Shinji. ôI just hate being placed in a situation like this. I feel like IÆm just someone elseÆs tool. I hate that feeling.ö
ôWho are we to question a divine plan?ö asked Kaoru.
ôWho are we not to?ö asked Shinji. ôI prefer to think my future is in my hands, and not those of someone else.ö
ôBut others control the destiny of others either directly or indirectly.ö
ôI prefer to control my path as much as possible.ö
ôSome events on the path cannot be changed.ö
ôThings that cannot be changed are so because we have yet to discover how to,ö stated Shinji as he stood up. ôIÆll be flying around for a bit; can you let the others know?ö
Kaoru nodded. ôOf course, Shinji-kun.ö
Nodding, Shinji took off into the air, gliding away from the complex before he began to flap his wings.
Kaoru sighed, wishing once again he knew fully what was going on. Hoshoni had no clue as to what had occurred during ShinjiÆs merger with the core of Unit 01. They suspected it had something to do with ShinjiÆs interaction with the original beast-like spirit of Unit 01 and the soul of his mother, but the evidence was lost in the same mental fog that was obscuring ShinjiÆs own recollection.
ôThings are beyond what they should be,ö he muttered as he turned around to head back to his apartment. ôBut then again, that is what makes this life so interesting. Well done, Shinji-kun; well done.ö
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ôDAMN IT!ö screamed Rara, pulling his hand back from a circuit junction, as he tried to restart the City Defense Grid.
ôI warned you,ö said Kensuke, handing the doctor some burn cream.
ôYeah, yeah, yeah,ö muttered Rara. ôWhy are you here again?ö
ôBecause the simulators are down and Dante is tired of me asking questions he doesnÆt have the answers for,ö said Kensuke. ôBesides, I may love piloting, but computers are also my first love.ö
ôYouÆre weird, kid,ö said Rara, smiling. ôBut that is a good thing.ö
Nodding, Kensuke looked into the crawl space where they were replacing damaged boards. ôLooks like a power regulatorÆs out.ö
Rara nodded. ôI figure itÆs the HG-7 module right here. IÆll shut it down and pull it out to test.ö
As they proceeded to test it, Kensuke looked nervously over to Rara.
ôSpit it out, kid,ö said Rara. ôYouÆre starting to creep me out looking at me like that.ö
Kensuke nodded. ôI had a question about the wings.ö
ôAnd you thought IÆd know?ö asked Rara. ôYou should be asking Shinji. HeÆs had more experience with them than IÆve had.ö
ôWell, this isnÆt something I can ask him,ö said Kensuke nervously. ôI was wondering if you know why heÆs got eight wings and weÆve only got two.ö
ôGreat,ö muttered Rara, ôwing envy.ö
ôWing envy?ö
ôWell, now you want more wings, before that you wanted to be a pilot.ö
ôThatÆs not it at all!ö sputtered Kensuke, waving his hands before himself. ôI was just wondering when the rest of us could expect wings like that.ö
Rara paused a bit, setting down the scanner he was using to check the power regulator. ôWell, heÆs had the wings for a long time, before he got his second pair.ö
ôYeah, but he went from just two to eight in under a year.ö
ôTrue,ö Rara said as he resumed checking the regulator. ôBut youÆre assuming that what heÆs going through is standard or enhanced. Truthfully, we donÆt even have the basic understanding of the principles behind it. It could be natural evolution that he received more wings; they could be a sign of how strong he is, an after effect of Evangelion, exposure to Angels... It could be any number of things. For all we know, this could be solely unique to Shinji, and none of us will receive a second pair or more.ö
ôThat would suck,ö said Kensuke.
ôMaybe not,ö said Rara. ôWe really have no idea. Shinji could be the future, or a mutation. WeÆll just have to wait and see.ö He then turned to face Kensuke. ôSo stop having wing envy.ö
ôI donÆt have wing envy!ö
Chuckling, Rara turned back to his work. ôListen kid, enjoy what you have; wishing for more than that will often just give you nothing but trouble.ö
ôWhatever,ö said Kensuke, leaning against a console that was still active.
As the alarm sounded, Rara turned to face him. ôWhat did you do?ö
Kensuke looked between the man and the console. ôThis isnÆt my fault!ö
ôRed alert! All command staff report to the conference table at Central Dogma! I repeat, all command staff are to report to Central Dogma immediately!ö
Rara turned to Kensuke. ôYouÆd better hope that it wasnÆt something you did!ö
ôI know,ö said Kensuke, taking off with him to the command level. ôI know.ö
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ôIÆll be damned,ö said Sanada, leaning in his chair. ôThey actually tried something stupid like that.ö
Gendo nodded. ôApproximately two hours ago, a team entered the apartment of Sub Commander Fuyutsuki and attempted to kidnap him. It was only due to the presence of the Third Child within the local airspace that they were intercepted while performing their operation.ö
ôThey still alive?ö asked Misato.
ôYes,ö said Gendo, a small amount of surprise in his voice. ôThe Third Child was able to ... restrain ... his urges this time.ö
ôThereÆs a change,ö said Kaji. ôNow we have prisoners to interrogate.ö
ôIndeed,ö said Gendo. ôI want a full security check as soon as possible. They may not have been the only team sent to acquire our personnel. I want them fully interrogated, as well as the UN and JSSDF contacted to see if these men were perhaps a Black Ops team.
ôAlso,ö he said, holding up several papers, ôinquire to their supplier for their weapons. They carried anti-AT Field projectiles.ö
ôDamn,ö muttered Rara. ôThat means our ... benefactors ... are back. But this doesnÆt sound like their usual tactics. TheyÆve always struck at Shinji, not anyone else.ö
ôIt wasnÆt for Shinji,ö said Sanada. ôThey wanted current information on us. And since the command staff would know the most about our current defenses as well as planned improvements...ö
ôThen why not attack now?ö asked Makoto. ôWeÆre still putting this place back together. Now would be the best time to attack.ö
ôTwo reasons,ö said Shigeru. ôOne is the fact we have the JSSDF and UN forces around Tokyo-3 for security, which means theyÆd have to go at it alone. The second being they might not be ready to make their move now; just wanting to know what to plan for.ö
ôThey wonÆt get UN backing, thatÆs for certain,ö said Sanada. ôThe UNÆs invested too much into this place. And with cooperation from the JSSDF, theyÆre using the hole the AngelÆs punched into here as an access port to allow the Icaruses to be brought inside like a hanger.ö
Rara nodded. ôTheyÆre setting up a command station in the damaged section of the forest. The utilities were already exposed, and it should be done within a few weeks.ö
ôThatÆs good,ö said Maya. ôWeÆll have a better reaction time now that we donÆt have to get Mana to the airport quicker.ö
ôStatus on repairs?ö asked Gendo.
ôShields and City Defense Grid should be online in a few days,ö said Rara.
ôThe Jet Alones will be fully repaired by the end of the week,ö said Sanada.
ôThe Evangelions are back to active duty,ö said Ritsuko.
ôI want that information quickly, Colonel Katsuragi,ö said Gendo. ôUse whatever resources you have available. I want these menÆsÆ lives tracked down from conception to now, as well as how they planned to get the Sub Commander out of the city and past the defense checkpoints of the JSSDF and the UN.ö
The others nodded as they went to do their tasks.
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ôThat was a great movie,ö said Hikari, as she and Toji walked out of the theater.
He nodded, smiling, and fidgeting slightly as Hikari kept holding his hand. ôYeah, nice explosions.ö
ôBut what about the love story?ö asked Hikari. ôWasnÆt it wonderful how they found each other at the end?ö
Toji sighed. He lucked out and found one movie that Hikari liked and that had enough violence for him, only to have her fixate on the love part of it. Never mind the fact that the guy was killing people left and right, as well as fought a genetically created monster to save the girl. ôIt was okay.ö
He kept his mouth shut that he expected to see more at the end than just a simple kiss. What? They canÆt show a little over the top action in an R-rated movie?
ôI reminded me of us?ö
ôHuh?ö he asked, stopping to face her. ôHow were we like that?ö
ôWell,ö she started, ôyou face those Angels to save us all and me; so youÆre exactly like the main good guy, protecting the girl youÆre with.ö
ôWell ... I guess so,ö said Toji. ôBut youÆre much better than that blond chick.ö
ôHuh?ö
ôWell, you ainÆt stupid enough to fall for all that stuff she did to get caught. I mean, youÆd outsmart those idiots that Grawd sent after her. Hell, youÆd have him in chains before IÆd even killed the first stooge he sent after me.ö
Smiling, Hikari pecked him on the cheek.
ôWhat was that for?ö
She continued to smile. ôThatÆs for saying the right thing at the right time, Toji.ö
Smiling, he turned forward, remembering what his sister had told him.
If a girl does something like that, stay quiet before you say something for her to kick you in the crotch over.
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ôSo,ö said Shinji, sitting at the table in the temporary quarters at NERV that were now the home of Fuyutsuki, ômy old man was a major pain in the ass.ö
Kozo nodded. ôTruthfully, I never knew what your mother saw in him. He had a mind, but he was able to piss off anyone he met within a few minutes.ö
ôExcept mom,ö said Shinji.
Kozo nodded, offering Shinji a drink. ôYeah. Your mother told me that she saw something special in him, that he was more than what people made him out to be.ö
ôThat must have been pretty weak,ö said Shinji. ôIt died as soon as Mom did.ö
Sighing, the older man agreed. ôMost likely; I think he began to associate his better side with your mother, and when she passed, all that was left of him was the darker side.ö
ôDoesnÆt matter,ö said Shinji. ôHe couldnÆt handle anything. He was weak in all things. If he truly loved my mother, then he should have loved me as well. I was her greatest gift to him. But instead, he shunned me, used me as a test subject.ö
Shinji stood up; setting his glass down, and bowing before Kozo. ôHe was never a father as far as IÆm concerned. He just happened to be some asshole that knocked up my mother. Anything else is worthless information as far as IÆm concerned.ö
Watching him leave, Kozo sighed. He knew Gendo was still shaky on his current plans, now that Yui had belittled him for them. And in some ways, the old teacher could almost spot that spark growing within the Commander once again.
ôI fear that there may be too much damage already, Ikari.ö
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In his office, Gendo sighed, watching the monitors for his SenseiÆs apartment. ôI know, old friend; I know.ö
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ôCome on, Shinji,ö yelled Asuka at the door. ôYou promised now.ö
ôI know,ö came the sullen reply as Shinji left the apartment. ôI know I promised this date, Asuka. But IÆm not the best of company right now.ö
ôI know that, baka,ö said Asuka. ôThat is why IÆm asking now.ö
ôYou want to suffer?ö asked Shinji.
ôNo, baka,ö she said, a little anger peaking in her voice. ôIt is because you need to get out and enjoy yourself. YouÆve been sulking ever since you got out of the hospital.ö
Shrugging, Shinji shut the apartment door and locked it. Misato was busy at work, Rei had more work on the Dummy Plug system, and PenPen was most likely still hung over. ôWhere are we going again?ö he asked.
ôWell, there is this one movie that Hikari and the Fourth Stooge saw that she said was pretty good. Then I figured you could take me out to a nice restaurant.ö
ôSounds good,ö Shinji said, trying to sound upbeat.
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ôWhy are we following them again?ö asked Kaoru, hiding with Mana on the roof as the two targets walked off towards the movie theater.
ôWell, weÆre both bored and have nothing better to do,ö said Mana.
ôIs this because you wish to be the lone female that Shinji-kun becomes one with?ö
Mana sputtered a bit. ôThat has nothing to do with it.ö
ôThen you do not wish for intimacy with Shinji-kun?ö
ôI didnÆt say that either!ö
ôThen what is it you wish?ö asked Kaoru. ôNeither Shinji-kun or yourself, Asuka, or Rei have claimed a solitary relationship to my knowledge. It is merely been the dating courtship rituals most lilim engage in.ö
ôHuh?ö
Kaoru sighed. I keep forgetting to not speak as what I once was, but what I now am. ôNone of the females he is currently dating have expressed an interest to formalize the relationship to be exclusive.ö
Mana played with her fingers, finding them the best place to look in hopes of hiding her blush. ôWell ... you see ... that is to say ... well...ö
Kaoru nodded. ôIs this one of those conversations Shinji-kun warned me about that it would be best if I discontinue?ö
ôOh God, yes!ö panted Mana.
Kaoru nodded, putting such conversations as discussing their social lives with Mana in the same category as female monthly visitors, as warned to him by Shinji; saying something about time bombs and flying cookware.
And like that, the two were off to ôcoverö the date.
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ôCan we eliminate them where they are at?ö asked SEELE 03.
ôNo,ö said SEELE 06, ôand it would arouse more suspicion if we asked for them to be transferred to a location where we could do so.ö
ôWhy were they sent in so ill prepared?ö asked SEELE 01. ôThis operation was poor work.ö
ôWe needed answers,ö said SEELE 11.
ôThen we should have summoned Sub Commander Fuyutsuki to us or to a location where he could be properly detained,ö said SEELE 09.
ôThe mission was a failure before they left,ö said SEELE 08. ôOf that, there can be no doubt. Now, can we be traced from this mission?ö
ôNo,ö said SEELE 05. ôThese men were our private employees, and had no direct interaction with us. Their orders were issued through carriers, and they can be dealt with effectively enough to leave no trail to us.ö
ôMake it so,ö said SEELE 01. ôI want this mess minimized before midnight Greenwich.ö
ôAgreed!ö came the reply from the other monoliths.
ôWe still need information,ö said SEELE 07. ôThat request has not changed. If Ikari is changing the scenario, we need to be full apprized of what the future plans are for the defense of Tokyo-3.ö
ôSuggestions?ö asked SEELE 01.
ôWe can try and use our codes to access the MAGI,ö suggested SEELE 12.
ôWorthless,ö said SEELE 08. ôThe MAGI have altered their counterparts via the data stream. None of them will currently assist with the breach of Tokyo-3. They are currently developing a counter-program to upload to our MAGI to ensure their loyalty.ö
ôOur mechanized foot soldiers?ö asked SEELE 02.
ôThey will be ready by the scheduled arrival of the Seventeenth Angel,ö said SEELE 10.
ôAnd our own Evas?ö asked SEELE 01.
ôAlso on schedule,ö said SEELE 05.
ôVery well,ö said SEELE 01. ôGain the knowledge through ... other means. I want that knowledge as soon as possible, and these new plans will go through this committee before they are implemented. I will not allow for more screw-ups as what had occurred.ö
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ôI fail to see what this will achieve,ö said Rei.
The date had been going as well as could be expected. Asuka and Shinji had arrived at the movie, Asuka had taken one look at the poster proclaiming it to be a love movie, changed the destination for the love-action movie to the action-comedy, as she was not a lover of love movies.
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Flashback...
ôWhy donÆt you like romance movies?ö asked Shinji.
ôBecause guys only take you to them to do that stupid yawn and grope trick.ö
ôBut didnÆt you invite me to this movie?ö
ôThatÆs beside the point. I thought it was good because Hikari recommended it. Also, remind me to make the Fourth Stooge a eunuch.ö
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ôThatÆs not the point,ö said Mana.
ôThen what is the point?ö asked Kensuke.
ôI donÆt believe it is healthy for us to ask that,ö added Kaoru.
ôWhy?ö asked Rei.
ôIt is my understanding that males are not to ask such question,ö said Kaoru. ôTherefore, only you and Mana are permitted to ask such questions.ö
Kensuke just grabbed his forehead. ôTojiÆs been helping you on social graces again, hasnÆt he?ö
ôHow did you know?Æ
ôAnyway,ö said Mana, ôweÆre just watching the date to make certain ShinjiÆs feeling better.ö
ôWould it not be more efficient to ask him?ö Rei stated.
ôI suggested that,ö said Kaoru, ôbut I was informed that that was not how it was done properly.ö
ôListen,ö said Mana. ôWeÆre going to do this my way.ö
ôMay I ask a question?ö
ôYes, Kensuke?ö said Mana.
ôWouldnÆt Shinji be able to sense us with that martial-art thingy he does?ö
The others paused, before turning slightly towards the group below them on the street, seeing Shinji tilt his head back slightly and wave at them; however it was not done in the view of Asuka.
ôShit,ö muttered Mana. ôI forgot about that.ö
ôVery well,ö said Rei. ôIf this ends the experiment, I shall be off. I have to pick up several purchases for dinner tonight.ö
ôMay I accompany you?ö asked Kaoru. ôI do believe Shinji-kun offered to make dinner for us all tonight, and I wish to assist in some way.ö
Rei thought it over for a minute before nodding. After all, she would appreciate any assistance in moving the purchases back to the apartment.
ôI might as well come too,ö said Mana. ôMaybe one of my pies will help smooth this over. Does Shinji have a favorite pie?ö
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ôIÆm enjoying the lunch,ö said Asuka.
ôIÆm glad,ö said Shinji. ôI hope this second date was everything you hoped for.ö
ôWell, you chuckled a bit during the movie, so yeah.ö
Shinji smiled at that. ôYeah, I guess I have been a bit depressed lately.ö
Asuka nodded. ôMomÆs been the same way. She says she knows something important happened, but she canÆt recall what.ö
Shinji nodded. ôHow are you doing? I know it must have been weird to lose that connection to her.ö
Asuka set her utensils down, before sighing. ôYeah, a little. I mean, I just got her back. I risk losing her every time I pilot.ö
ôBut it makes you both happy,ö said Shinji.
Asuka nodded. ôYeah, it does. I mean, I feel a better connection to her than I ever thought possible. Is it like that for you and your mother?ö
Shinji nodded. ôYeah, you can literally feel the love coming from her.ö He looked out the window, seeing the people passing by, their wings out.
ôYou know,ö he said, ôeveryone really adapted fast to having wings.ö
Asuka nodded. ôWell, humans are known for adaptability.ö
ôTrue,ö he said, smiling. ôAnd they are all feeling happier with it. Guess I did good.ö
Asuka nodded. ôShinji, can I ask you a question?ö
ôSure.ö
ôCan you tell me about your past?ö she asked. ôI know youÆve learned a bunch about mine, but I hardly know about you.ö
He nodded. Soon, thanks to the privacy of their booth, he told her of his past. His last moments with his mother, the tests, the time he spent with his caregivers, his friends, and a few stories of his early adventures in grade school when he could attend without exposing his wings.
ôWow,ö said Asuka, finishing off her beverage. ôMakes my childhood almost seem normal.ö
ôIt wasnÆt too bad,ö said Shinji. ôAt least I eventually had a happy life.ö
ôAnd with our mothers back,ö said Asuka.
ôWho knows,ö said Shinji. ôMaybe I can free them one day.ö
ôAnd the Evas themselves?ö said Asuka.
ôI really donÆt know. IÆd like to free them as well, but the Evas already have their own bodies. The first three just lack their own souls. ItÆs a damned if I do and damned if I donÆt scenario.ö
Asuka nodded. ôCanÆt free them without knowing both that theyÆll get bodies and that the Evas will survive to receive an Artificial Soul. DonÆt free them, and Naoko and our moms remained trapped for all eternity.ö
Shinji nodded. ôIÆm changing, Asuka.ö
ôWhat?ö
ôThatÆs why IÆve been acting like I have the last few days,ö he said, looking out the window again. ôI can feel something in me changing.ö
Asuka nodded. ôHow bad?ö
ôI can recall certain facts about NERV, the MAGI, and the first expeditions to the Antarctica after Second Impact, the preliminary dates of construction for the first three Evangelions, and the construction of the Geo-Front.
ôThen,ö he said, his voice taking a darker turn, ôwe have the dreams.ö
ôHow bad?ö
ôBad,ö he said. ôBut those ... IÆd rather save until we have everyone together. ItÆll save me time from having to explain them again and again.ö
Asuka nodded. ôWell, shall we do it after dinner?ö
Shinji nodded.
Sighing, Asuka grabbed her phone from her purse. ôIÆll be back; make certain they didnÆt spit in my food.ö
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Everyone had gathered at NERV, sitting around the table, waiting for Shinji to speak of his dream.
ôWell?ö Misato asked.
Sighing, he began. ôAs you guys know, thereÆs only about three Angels left, if my dreams are correct.ö
ôActually five,ö said Sanada, ôunless youÆve defeated Adam and Lilith without us knowing.ö
Shinji smiled a bit. ôNo, but my memory is a little fuzzy.
ôAnyway,ö he continued, ôthe ending is changing.ö
ôHow so, Shinji-kun?ö asked Kaoru.
His eyes turned red, almost as red as ReiÆs and KaoruÆs eyes. ôAs the Fifteenth Light challenges us, the Grey shall be torn between the two moons. For the battle of the Sixteenth Light, the shadows of the fallen shall strike back.ö
ôWhat the fuck does that mean?ö asked Asuka.
Shinji shook his head, his eyes returning to their normal coloring. ôI have no clue. But thatÆs all I get from the dreams. I know the symbols, just not what they mean to us as a whole.ö
ôIf that battle with the Fifteenth means weÆll have evil twins running around, I quit,ö said Toji. ôI didnÆt sign on to end up in some bad Star Trek plot.ö
ôI rather liked those episodes,ö said Rara. ôI always wondered what my parallel self would look like.ö
Sanada shivered a bit. ôTwo Raras? God, IÆd eat a bullet just to avoid that.ö
ôDidnÆt the evil ones always have the goatee?ö asked Kensuke.
Slowly, everyone turned to face Rara. ôWhat?ö
ôWhat about the changes?ö asked Asuka.
Nodding, Shinji turned to face them. ôI canÆt pull in my wings anymore.ö
ôUm ... that is bad ... because?ö stated Toji.
ôWithdrawing the wings into oneself requires a clear state of mind,ö replied Kaoru. ôIf Shinji-kun can still achieve this state and is still unable to withdraw his wings, then he is encountering a problem.ö
Shinji nodded. ôIÆm changing, and I canÆt be certain what IÆm becoming.ö
Taking in a deep breath, Shinji smiled to all of them. ôJust to let you guys know in case I go crazy; IÆll understand if you need to put me down.ö Not waiting for their reply, he turned and left, his mind already on the new problems ahead, and trying to decipher what the dreams meant.
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ôHe becoming a damned Angel,ö spat Misato, currently sitting with Kaji and Ritsuko in a bar at the Geo-Front.
ôSo,ö said Ritsuko. ôThis doesnÆt change who he is. This is just a redefinition of what he is.ö
ôBut Angels have been nothing but trouble,ö said Misato. ôLilith tries to kill him, we havenÆt heard a single peep from Adam, and today we just learned some damned symbolistic visions of what the next two will be like.ö
ôIs æsymbolisticÆ even a word?ö asked Kaji.
ôNot that I know of,ö said Ritsuko.
ôSmart people make up their own words,ö said Misato rubbing her forehead.
ôAnd how does what Shinji is possibly becoming change anything?ö asked Ritsuko. ôYou stopped caring about his wings when he moved in with you.ö
ôI ... I donÆt know,ö said Misato. ôItÆs like I know the truth, but I also know what he is. They are fighting harder now.ö
ôPeople change, Misato,ö said Kaji, sipping on his beer. ôBut the core rarely ever changes. The Shinji who you live with is still at his core, the same Shinji who moved in with you, and the same Shinji that has always risked his life to save us from the Angels, from the rouge Jet Alone...ö
ôThe same Shinji who ripped apart an attacking force,ö said Misato.
ôThe same Shinji who sparred those attacking Sub Commander Fuyutsuki,ö added Ritsuko. ôListen, Misato; either work past this, or ask the pilots to move out. We donÆt have time to deal with your issues at the moment.ö
ôWhatÆs that supposed to mean?ö she asked defensively.
ôYou can look out that window, see all that construction, and honestly tell me we have time for this shit,ö stated Ritsuko.
Misato shook her head. ôOkay, then can someone give me an excuse why IÆm freaking out now?ö
Kaji shrugged. ôIntimacy issues?ö
Misato gave him an evil eye. ôYou better not be suggesting I want to sleep with him?ö
ôNot at all,ö said Kaji. ôBut you have to admit that back in college, when I got close to your heart; you tried to push me away.ö
ôYouÆre just afraid that if ShinjiÆs an Angel,ö said Ritsuko, ôthat youÆll be forced to kill him, and you donÆt want to suffer that hit against your humanity.ö
ôMaybe,ö said Misato. ôIf I have to, itÆd be better if he despised me, and if I hated him as well.ö
ôWouldnÆt it be better if Shinji was further grounded against such actions,ö said Kaji, ôbut such activities as strong emotional ties to those he would have to face?ö
ôSo IÆm just being a stubborn ass, huh?ö
ôOh yes,ö said Kaji.
ôVery much one,ö agreed Ritsuko.
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Path...
Understanding...
Hope...
Knowledge...
These are what I require, what I need to guide me. These are the tools that I use to make my way in this life.
Darkness...
Confusion...
I find my path as dark as ever, yet even more clear to me.
Grey Moon?
Grey Seed?
Grey?
I am growing, into what, I do not know.
My path lies before me.
To choose, I choose for all. Angels, lilim, hybrids.
What are we?
What am I?
What is the purpose of this?
Is their a divine purpose?
Children of Adam seek to destroy me in the battlefield of reality.
Lilith seeks to kill me within the battlefield of my mind.
Her children ... torn of their choices and dealings with me.
My path is clear; I shall face the Angels, I shall win.
My path afterwards is uncertain.
Will I stay?
Can I stay?
Seeds are meant to be planted, to grow new plants.
If I become a Seed, then what? What will happen to me? What will be my future when I achieve my full form?
I donÆt want to leave. Earth is my home, these people are my friends.
Changed? Have I changed? Have I become more? Have I become less?
What have I become?
What am I becoming?
Destiny...
Fate...
Unknowns continue to plague my life, altering the course on whims of fancy.
My family...
My friends...
Those that matter the most to me...
Those that need my help the most...
I fail to see the purpose, to know the reasoning behind these events.
The Gods... They created tools to make life, never end it, even if those consequences are the life already there being eradicated.
My path...
My truth...
My Seed...
I shall not stop.
I shall not fail.
They need me to succeed, and thus ... I shall.
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In the city of Moscow, the police were currently going over a crime scene.
It involved a middle-class woman. Her family stated she had only left to get groceries for dinner. She had no enemies; her husband had no enemies...
She had no reason to be killed ... at least, whatever reasons were usually given by someone who would do such a thing.
But here she was. Her purse was untouched. Her clothes were not ripped or torn, aside from the knife wound where her heart was.
And what was worse was that she had been ... changed.
Her husband had told the police officers that his wife had a tattoo around her belly button, a remnant of their pre-Second-Impact dating days.
It was gone.
Not knowing what to do, they had a sketch artist draw it up, wondering how someone could steal a tattoo. After all, people had been killed for lesser reasons than a particular tattoo they had.
But as he looked at the drawing, he was amazed. ôIÆve never seen one like this.ö
His lieutenants nodded in agreement. ôThough,ö said one, ôI swear IÆve seen this before. I just canÆt remember where.ö
If he had paid closer attention, he would have recalled seeing this tattoo a few months ago.
The tattoo was of Sahaquiel, the Tenth Angel.
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Shinji stared at the form of Unit 01, its own eight wings still extended, as if it was still being piloted. Even with ShinjiÆs expulsion from the core, the unit still showed active status by keeping its wings out.
ôIt looks like Fate is still playing a role in our lives,ö said Shinji.
ôIt would appear so, my son.ö
Shinji nodded. ôI need to get some sleep. Goodnight, Mother.ö
As he left, the purple face followed him out of the cage, before it turned to look at the control booth, seeing the sad face of the Commander of NERV. ôWell?ö
Gendo remained silent, before turning away. He knew he was not ready to face her again.
Fortunately, neither he nor his wife knew what to say. That was for the best at the moment.
Hearts and minds can mend.
The past, however; always keeps those wounds closer than anything else.
Past Transgressions
Disclaimer: I donÆt own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.
I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.
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Shinji sat on the roof of the apartment complex, his wings flapping gently in the breeze, as he pondered his current situation.
Memories.
He remembered waking up, he remembered fighting the Angel.
Afterwards was a blank; only feelings and brief glimpses could be recalled between the two points.
He turned his head slightly to both sides, spotting the new wings he was sporting. This is a little messed up; I canÆt even remember getting the last pair.
That was what was bothering him most of all; the not-knowing. He knew something had occurred. Ritsuko told him that he had been inside the EvaÆs core for a month, taken in when the Angel had nearly cleaved him in two. He knew his mother resided within the core.
But he had only the vaguest impressions, and even when he had watched the video, seen what Unit 01 did to the Angel ... he couldnÆt recall one second of it.
ôThis sucks,ö he mumbled.
ôThey do not know as well.ö
He turned towards the door to the roof, seeing Kaoru leaning against it, his own wings out. ôWho doesnÆt?ö
ôThe Evangelions,ö he answered, walking towards Shinji. ôMana has also stated to me that Dante and Trident also have no knowledge of the events that transpired between their last engagements and their awakenings after you were ... ejected ... from the core of 01.ö
Shinji nodded, turning once more to face the scenery instead of looking at the pilot now sitting beside him. ôI feel like I should know some things, but itÆs as if they are out of my reach.ö
ôThat must be very agitating.ö
ôExtremely so,ö said Shinji. ôIÆm beginning to feel like a pawn, not a player.ö
ôEven in Chess, not all the pieces have incredible power.ö
ôI just want to know the full rules of the game,ö said Shinji.
ôPerhaps you are not ready to know everything, only meant to know that there is something more.ö
Shinji snorted. ôI donÆt like being used like that.ö
Kaoru nodded. ôPerhaps it will not be as undesirable after you learn what is hidden.ö
ôMaybe,ö sulked Shinji. ôI just hate being placed in a situation like this. I feel like IÆm just someone elseÆs tool. I hate that feeling.ö
ôWho are we to question a divine plan?ö asked Kaoru.
ôWho are we not to?ö asked Shinji. ôI prefer to think my future is in my hands, and not those of someone else.ö
ôBut others control the destiny of others either directly or indirectly.ö
ôI prefer to control my path as much as possible.ö
ôSome events on the path cannot be changed.ö
ôThings that cannot be changed are so because we have yet to discover how to,ö stated Shinji as he stood up. ôIÆll be flying around for a bit; can you let the others know?ö
Kaoru nodded. ôOf course, Shinji-kun.ö
Nodding, Shinji took off into the air, gliding away from the complex before he began to flap his wings.
Kaoru sighed, wishing once again he knew fully what was going on. Hoshoni had no clue as to what had occurred during ShinjiÆs merger with the core of Unit 01. They suspected it had something to do with ShinjiÆs interaction with the original beast-like spirit of Unit 01 and the soul of his mother, but the evidence was lost in the same mental fog that was obscuring ShinjiÆs own recollection.
ôThings are beyond what they should be,ö he muttered as he turned around to head back to his apartment. ôBut then again, that is what makes this life so interesting. Well done, Shinji-kun; well done.ö
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ôDAMN IT!ö screamed Rara, pulling his hand back from a circuit junction, as he tried to restart the City Defense Grid.
ôI warned you,ö said Kensuke, handing the doctor some burn cream.
ôYeah, yeah, yeah,ö muttered Rara. ôWhy are you here again?ö
ôBecause the simulators are down and Dante is tired of me asking questions he doesnÆt have the answers for,ö said Kensuke. ôBesides, I may love piloting, but computers are also my first love.ö
ôYouÆre weird, kid,ö said Rara, smiling. ôBut that is a good thing.ö
Nodding, Kensuke looked into the crawl space where they were replacing damaged boards. ôLooks like a power regulatorÆs out.ö
Rara nodded. ôI figure itÆs the HG-7 module right here. IÆll shut it down and pull it out to test.ö
As they proceeded to test it, Kensuke looked nervously over to Rara.
ôSpit it out, kid,ö said Rara. ôYouÆre starting to creep me out looking at me like that.ö
Kensuke nodded. ôI had a question about the wings.ö
ôAnd you thought IÆd know?ö asked Rara. ôYou should be asking Shinji. HeÆs had more experience with them than IÆve had.ö
ôWell, this isnÆt something I can ask him,ö said Kensuke nervously. ôI was wondering if you know why heÆs got eight wings and weÆve only got two.ö
ôGreat,ö muttered Rara, ôwing envy.ö
ôWing envy?ö
ôWell, now you want more wings, before that you wanted to be a pilot.ö
ôThatÆs not it at all!ö sputtered Kensuke, waving his hands before himself. ôI was just wondering when the rest of us could expect wings like that.ö
Rara paused a bit, setting down the scanner he was using to check the power regulator. ôWell, heÆs had the wings for a long time, before he got his second pair.ö
ôYeah, but he went from just two to eight in under a year.ö
ôTrue,ö Rara said as he resumed checking the regulator. ôBut youÆre assuming that what heÆs going through is standard or enhanced. Truthfully, we donÆt even have the basic understanding of the principles behind it. It could be natural evolution that he received more wings; they could be a sign of how strong he is, an after effect of Evangelion, exposure to Angels... It could be any number of things. For all we know, this could be solely unique to Shinji, and none of us will receive a second pair or more.ö
ôThat would suck,ö said Kensuke.
ôMaybe not,ö said Rara. ôWe really have no idea. Shinji could be the future, or a mutation. WeÆll just have to wait and see.ö He then turned to face Kensuke. ôSo stop having wing envy.ö
ôI donÆt have wing envy!ö
Chuckling, Rara turned back to his work. ôListen kid, enjoy what you have; wishing for more than that will often just give you nothing but trouble.ö
ôWhatever,ö said Kensuke, leaning against a console that was still active.
As the alarm sounded, Rara turned to face him. ôWhat did you do?ö
Kensuke looked between the man and the console. ôThis isnÆt my fault!ö
ôRed alert! All command staff report to the conference table at Central Dogma! I repeat, all command staff are to report to Central Dogma immediately!ö
Rara turned to Kensuke. ôYouÆd better hope that it wasnÆt something you did!ö
ôI know,ö said Kensuke, taking off with him to the command level. ôI know.ö
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ôIÆll be damned,ö said Sanada, leaning in his chair. ôThey actually tried something stupid like that.ö
Gendo nodded. ôApproximately two hours ago, a team entered the apartment of Sub Commander Fuyutsuki and attempted to kidnap him. It was only due to the presence of the Third Child within the local airspace that they were intercepted while performing their operation.ö
ôThey still alive?ö asked Misato.
ôYes,ö said Gendo, a small amount of surprise in his voice. ôThe Third Child was able to ... restrain ... his urges this time.ö
ôThereÆs a change,ö said Kaji. ôNow we have prisoners to interrogate.ö
ôIndeed,ö said Gendo. ôI want a full security check as soon as possible. They may not have been the only team sent to acquire our personnel. I want them fully interrogated, as well as the UN and JSSDF contacted to see if these men were perhaps a Black Ops team.
ôAlso,ö he said, holding up several papers, ôinquire to their supplier for their weapons. They carried anti-AT Field projectiles.ö
ôDamn,ö muttered Rara. ôThat means our ... benefactors ... are back. But this doesnÆt sound like their usual tactics. TheyÆve always struck at Shinji, not anyone else.ö
ôIt wasnÆt for Shinji,ö said Sanada. ôThey wanted current information on us. And since the command staff would know the most about our current defenses as well as planned improvements...ö
ôThen why not attack now?ö asked Makoto. ôWeÆre still putting this place back together. Now would be the best time to attack.ö
ôTwo reasons,ö said Shigeru. ôOne is the fact we have the JSSDF and UN forces around Tokyo-3 for security, which means theyÆd have to go at it alone. The second being they might not be ready to make their move now; just wanting to know what to plan for.ö
ôThey wonÆt get UN backing, thatÆs for certain,ö said Sanada. ôThe UNÆs invested too much into this place. And with cooperation from the JSSDF, theyÆre using the hole the AngelÆs punched into here as an access port to allow the Icaruses to be brought inside like a hanger.ö
Rara nodded. ôTheyÆre setting up a command station in the damaged section of the forest. The utilities were already exposed, and it should be done within a few weeks.ö
ôThatÆs good,ö said Maya. ôWeÆll have a better reaction time now that we donÆt have to get Mana to the airport quicker.ö
ôStatus on repairs?ö asked Gendo.
ôShields and City Defense Grid should be online in a few days,ö said Rara.
ôThe Jet Alones will be fully repaired by the end of the week,ö said Sanada.
ôThe Evangelions are back to active duty,ö said Ritsuko.
ôI want that information quickly, Colonel Katsuragi,ö said Gendo. ôUse whatever resources you have available. I want these menÆsÆ lives tracked down from conception to now, as well as how they planned to get the Sub Commander out of the city and past the defense checkpoints of the JSSDF and the UN.ö
The others nodded as they went to do their tasks.
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ôThat was a great movie,ö said Hikari, as she and Toji walked out of the theater.
He nodded, smiling, and fidgeting slightly as Hikari kept holding his hand. ôYeah, nice explosions.ö
ôBut what about the love story?ö asked Hikari. ôWasnÆt it wonderful how they found each other at the end?ö
Toji sighed. He lucked out and found one movie that Hikari liked and that had enough violence for him, only to have her fixate on the love part of it. Never mind the fact that the guy was killing people left and right, as well as fought a genetically created monster to save the girl. ôIt was okay.ö
He kept his mouth shut that he expected to see more at the end than just a simple kiss. What? They canÆt show a little over the top action in an R-rated movie?
ôI reminded me of us?ö
ôHuh?ö he asked, stopping to face her. ôHow were we like that?ö
ôWell,ö she started, ôyou face those Angels to save us all and me; so youÆre exactly like the main good guy, protecting the girl youÆre with.ö
ôWell ... I guess so,ö said Toji. ôBut youÆre much better than that blond chick.ö
ôHuh?ö
ôWell, you ainÆt stupid enough to fall for all that stuff she did to get caught. I mean, youÆd outsmart those idiots that Grawd sent after her. Hell, youÆd have him in chains before IÆd even killed the first stooge he sent after me.ö
Smiling, Hikari pecked him on the cheek.
ôWhat was that for?ö
She continued to smile. ôThatÆs for saying the right thing at the right time, Toji.ö
Smiling, he turned forward, remembering what his sister had told him.
If a girl does something like that, stay quiet before you say something for her to kick you in the crotch over.
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ôSo,ö said Shinji, sitting at the table in the temporary quarters at NERV that were now the home of Fuyutsuki, ômy old man was a major pain in the ass.ö
Kozo nodded. ôTruthfully, I never knew what your mother saw in him. He had a mind, but he was able to piss off anyone he met within a few minutes.ö
ôExcept mom,ö said Shinji.
Kozo nodded, offering Shinji a drink. ôYeah. Your mother told me that she saw something special in him, that he was more than what people made him out to be.ö
ôThat must have been pretty weak,ö said Shinji. ôIt died as soon as Mom did.ö
Sighing, the older man agreed. ôMost likely; I think he began to associate his better side with your mother, and when she passed, all that was left of him was the darker side.ö
ôDoesnÆt matter,ö said Shinji. ôHe couldnÆt handle anything. He was weak in all things. If he truly loved my mother, then he should have loved me as well. I was her greatest gift to him. But instead, he shunned me, used me as a test subject.ö
Shinji stood up; setting his glass down, and bowing before Kozo. ôHe was never a father as far as IÆm concerned. He just happened to be some asshole that knocked up my mother. Anything else is worthless information as far as IÆm concerned.ö
Watching him leave, Kozo sighed. He knew Gendo was still shaky on his current plans, now that Yui had belittled him for them. And in some ways, the old teacher could almost spot that spark growing within the Commander once again.
ôI fear that there may be too much damage already, Ikari.ö
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In his office, Gendo sighed, watching the monitors for his SenseiÆs apartment. ôI know, old friend; I know.ö
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ôCome on, Shinji,ö yelled Asuka at the door. ôYou promised now.ö
ôI know,ö came the sullen reply as Shinji left the apartment. ôI know I promised this date, Asuka. But IÆm not the best of company right now.ö
ôI know that, baka,ö said Asuka. ôThat is why IÆm asking now.ö
ôYou want to suffer?ö asked Shinji.
ôNo, baka,ö she said, a little anger peaking in her voice. ôIt is because you need to get out and enjoy yourself. YouÆve been sulking ever since you got out of the hospital.ö
Shrugging, Shinji shut the apartment door and locked it. Misato was busy at work, Rei had more work on the Dummy Plug system, and PenPen was most likely still hung over. ôWhere are we going again?ö he asked.
ôWell, there is this one movie that Hikari and the Fourth Stooge saw that she said was pretty good. Then I figured you could take me out to a nice restaurant.ö
ôSounds good,ö Shinji said, trying to sound upbeat.
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ôWhy are we following them again?ö asked Kaoru, hiding with Mana on the roof as the two targets walked off towards the movie theater.
ôWell, weÆre both bored and have nothing better to do,ö said Mana.
ôIs this because you wish to be the lone female that Shinji-kun becomes one with?ö
Mana sputtered a bit. ôThat has nothing to do with it.ö
ôThen you do not wish for intimacy with Shinji-kun?ö
ôI didnÆt say that either!ö
ôThen what is it you wish?ö asked Kaoru. ôNeither Shinji-kun or yourself, Asuka, or Rei have claimed a solitary relationship to my knowledge. It is merely been the dating courtship rituals most lilim engage in.ö
ôHuh?ö
Kaoru sighed. I keep forgetting to not speak as what I once was, but what I now am. ôNone of the females he is currently dating have expressed an interest to formalize the relationship to be exclusive.ö
Mana played with her fingers, finding them the best place to look in hopes of hiding her blush. ôWell ... you see ... that is to say ... well...ö
Kaoru nodded. ôIs this one of those conversations Shinji-kun warned me about that it would be best if I discontinue?ö
ôOh God, yes!ö panted Mana.
Kaoru nodded, putting such conversations as discussing their social lives with Mana in the same category as female monthly visitors, as warned to him by Shinji; saying something about time bombs and flying cookware.
And like that, the two were off to ôcoverö the date.
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ôCan we eliminate them where they are at?ö asked SEELE 03.
ôNo,ö said SEELE 06, ôand it would arouse more suspicion if we asked for them to be transferred to a location where we could do so.ö
ôWhy were they sent in so ill prepared?ö asked SEELE 01. ôThis operation was poor work.ö
ôWe needed answers,ö said SEELE 11.
ôThen we should have summoned Sub Commander Fuyutsuki to us or to a location where he could be properly detained,ö said SEELE 09.
ôThe mission was a failure before they left,ö said SEELE 08. ôOf that, there can be no doubt. Now, can we be traced from this mission?ö
ôNo,ö said SEELE 05. ôThese men were our private employees, and had no direct interaction with us. Their orders were issued through carriers, and they can be dealt with effectively enough to leave no trail to us.ö
ôMake it so,ö said SEELE 01. ôI want this mess minimized before midnight Greenwich.ö
ôAgreed!ö came the reply from the other monoliths.
ôWe still need information,ö said SEELE 07. ôThat request has not changed. If Ikari is changing the scenario, we need to be full apprized of what the future plans are for the defense of Tokyo-3.ö
ôSuggestions?ö asked SEELE 01.
ôWe can try and use our codes to access the MAGI,ö suggested SEELE 12.
ôWorthless,ö said SEELE 08. ôThe MAGI have altered their counterparts via the data stream. None of them will currently assist with the breach of Tokyo-3. They are currently developing a counter-program to upload to our MAGI to ensure their loyalty.ö
ôOur mechanized foot soldiers?ö asked SEELE 02.
ôThey will be ready by the scheduled arrival of the Seventeenth Angel,ö said SEELE 10.
ôAnd our own Evas?ö asked SEELE 01.
ôAlso on schedule,ö said SEELE 05.
ôVery well,ö said SEELE 01. ôGain the knowledge through ... other means. I want that knowledge as soon as possible, and these new plans will go through this committee before they are implemented. I will not allow for more screw-ups as what had occurred.ö
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ôI fail to see what this will achieve,ö said Rei.
The date had been going as well as could be expected. Asuka and Shinji had arrived at the movie, Asuka had taken one look at the poster proclaiming it to be a love movie, changed the destination for the love-action movie to the action-comedy, as she was not a lover of love movies.
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Flashback...
ôWhy donÆt you like romance movies?ö asked Shinji.
ôBecause guys only take you to them to do that stupid yawn and grope trick.ö
ôBut didnÆt you invite me to this movie?ö
ôThatÆs beside the point. I thought it was good because Hikari recommended it. Also, remind me to make the Fourth Stooge a eunuch.ö
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ôThatÆs not the point,ö said Mana.
ôThen what is the point?ö asked Kensuke.
ôI donÆt believe it is healthy for us to ask that,ö added Kaoru.
ôWhy?ö asked Rei.
ôIt is my understanding that males are not to ask such question,ö said Kaoru. ôTherefore, only you and Mana are permitted to ask such questions.ö
Kensuke just grabbed his forehead. ôTojiÆs been helping you on social graces again, hasnÆt he?ö
ôHow did you know?Æ
ôAnyway,ö said Mana, ôweÆre just watching the date to make certain ShinjiÆs feeling better.ö
ôWould it not be more efficient to ask him?ö Rei stated.
ôI suggested that,ö said Kaoru, ôbut I was informed that that was not how it was done properly.ö
ôListen,ö said Mana. ôWeÆre going to do this my way.ö
ôMay I ask a question?ö
ôYes, Kensuke?ö said Mana.
ôWouldnÆt Shinji be able to sense us with that martial-art thingy he does?ö
The others paused, before turning slightly towards the group below them on the street, seeing Shinji tilt his head back slightly and wave at them; however it was not done in the view of Asuka.
ôShit,ö muttered Mana. ôI forgot about that.ö
ôVery well,ö said Rei. ôIf this ends the experiment, I shall be off. I have to pick up several purchases for dinner tonight.ö
ôMay I accompany you?ö asked Kaoru. ôI do believe Shinji-kun offered to make dinner for us all tonight, and I wish to assist in some way.ö
Rei thought it over for a minute before nodding. After all, she would appreciate any assistance in moving the purchases back to the apartment.
ôI might as well come too,ö said Mana. ôMaybe one of my pies will help smooth this over. Does Shinji have a favorite pie?ö
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ôIÆm enjoying the lunch,ö said Asuka.
ôIÆm glad,ö said Shinji. ôI hope this second date was everything you hoped for.ö
ôWell, you chuckled a bit during the movie, so yeah.ö
Shinji smiled at that. ôYeah, I guess I have been a bit depressed lately.ö
Asuka nodded. ôMomÆs been the same way. She says she knows something important happened, but she canÆt recall what.ö
Shinji nodded. ôHow are you doing? I know it must have been weird to lose that connection to her.ö
Asuka set her utensils down, before sighing. ôYeah, a little. I mean, I just got her back. I risk losing her every time I pilot.ö
ôBut it makes you both happy,ö said Shinji.
Asuka nodded. ôYeah, it does. I mean, I feel a better connection to her than I ever thought possible. Is it like that for you and your mother?ö
Shinji nodded. ôYeah, you can literally feel the love coming from her.ö He looked out the window, seeing the people passing by, their wings out.
ôYou know,ö he said, ôeveryone really adapted fast to having wings.ö
Asuka nodded. ôWell, humans are known for adaptability.ö
ôTrue,ö he said, smiling. ôAnd they are all feeling happier with it. Guess I did good.ö
Asuka nodded. ôShinji, can I ask you a question?ö
ôSure.ö
ôCan you tell me about your past?ö she asked. ôI know youÆve learned a bunch about mine, but I hardly know about you.ö
He nodded. Soon, thanks to the privacy of their booth, he told her of his past. His last moments with his mother, the tests, the time he spent with his caregivers, his friends, and a few stories of his early adventures in grade school when he could attend without exposing his wings.
ôWow,ö said Asuka, finishing off her beverage. ôMakes my childhood almost seem normal.ö
ôIt wasnÆt too bad,ö said Shinji. ôAt least I eventually had a happy life.ö
ôAnd with our mothers back,ö said Asuka.
ôWho knows,ö said Shinji. ôMaybe I can free them one day.ö
ôAnd the Evas themselves?ö said Asuka.
ôI really donÆt know. IÆd like to free them as well, but the Evas already have their own bodies. The first three just lack their own souls. ItÆs a damned if I do and damned if I donÆt scenario.ö
Asuka nodded. ôCanÆt free them without knowing both that theyÆll get bodies and that the Evas will survive to receive an Artificial Soul. DonÆt free them, and Naoko and our moms remained trapped for all eternity.ö
Shinji nodded. ôIÆm changing, Asuka.ö
ôWhat?ö
ôThatÆs why IÆve been acting like I have the last few days,ö he said, looking out the window again. ôI can feel something in me changing.ö
Asuka nodded. ôHow bad?ö
ôI can recall certain facts about NERV, the MAGI, and the first expeditions to the Antarctica after Second Impact, the preliminary dates of construction for the first three Evangelions, and the construction of the Geo-Front.
ôThen,ö he said, his voice taking a darker turn, ôwe have the dreams.ö
ôHow bad?ö
ôBad,ö he said. ôBut those ... IÆd rather save until we have everyone together. ItÆll save me time from having to explain them again and again.ö
Asuka nodded. ôWell, shall we do it after dinner?ö
Shinji nodded.
Sighing, Asuka grabbed her phone from her purse. ôIÆll be back; make certain they didnÆt spit in my food.ö
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Everyone had gathered at NERV, sitting around the table, waiting for Shinji to speak of his dream.
ôWell?ö Misato asked.
Sighing, he began. ôAs you guys know, thereÆs only about three Angels left, if my dreams are correct.ö
ôActually five,ö said Sanada, ôunless youÆve defeated Adam and Lilith without us knowing.ö
Shinji smiled a bit. ôNo, but my memory is a little fuzzy.
ôAnyway,ö he continued, ôthe ending is changing.ö
ôHow so, Shinji-kun?ö asked Kaoru.
His eyes turned red, almost as red as ReiÆs and KaoruÆs eyes. ôAs the Fifteenth Light challenges us, the Grey shall be torn between the two moons. For the battle of the Sixteenth Light, the shadows of the fallen shall strike back.ö
ôWhat the fuck does that mean?ö asked Asuka.
Shinji shook his head, his eyes returning to their normal coloring. ôI have no clue. But thatÆs all I get from the dreams. I know the symbols, just not what they mean to us as a whole.ö
ôIf that battle with the Fifteenth means weÆll have evil twins running around, I quit,ö said Toji. ôI didnÆt sign on to end up in some bad Star Trek plot.ö
ôI rather liked those episodes,ö said Rara. ôI always wondered what my parallel self would look like.ö
Sanada shivered a bit. ôTwo Raras? God, IÆd eat a bullet just to avoid that.ö
ôDidnÆt the evil ones always have the goatee?ö asked Kensuke.
Slowly, everyone turned to face Rara. ôWhat?ö
ôWhat about the changes?ö asked Asuka.
Nodding, Shinji turned to face them. ôI canÆt pull in my wings anymore.ö
ôUm ... that is bad ... because?ö stated Toji.
ôWithdrawing the wings into oneself requires a clear state of mind,ö replied Kaoru. ôIf Shinji-kun can still achieve this state and is still unable to withdraw his wings, then he is encountering a problem.ö
Shinji nodded. ôIÆm changing, and I canÆt be certain what IÆm becoming.ö
Taking in a deep breath, Shinji smiled to all of them. ôJust to let you guys know in case I go crazy; IÆll understand if you need to put me down.ö Not waiting for their reply, he turned and left, his mind already on the new problems ahead, and trying to decipher what the dreams meant.
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ôHe becoming a damned Angel,ö spat Misato, currently sitting with Kaji and Ritsuko in a bar at the Geo-Front.
ôSo,ö said Ritsuko. ôThis doesnÆt change who he is. This is just a redefinition of what he is.ö
ôBut Angels have been nothing but trouble,ö said Misato. ôLilith tries to kill him, we havenÆt heard a single peep from Adam, and today we just learned some damned symbolistic visions of what the next two will be like.ö
ôIs æsymbolisticÆ even a word?ö asked Kaji.
ôNot that I know of,ö said Ritsuko.
ôSmart people make up their own words,ö said Misato rubbing her forehead.
ôAnd how does what Shinji is possibly becoming change anything?ö asked Ritsuko. ôYou stopped caring about his wings when he moved in with you.ö
ôI ... I donÆt know,ö said Misato. ôItÆs like I know the truth, but I also know what he is. They are fighting harder now.ö
ôPeople change, Misato,ö said Kaji, sipping on his beer. ôBut the core rarely ever changes. The Shinji who you live with is still at his core, the same Shinji who moved in with you, and the same Shinji that has always risked his life to save us from the Angels, from the rouge Jet Alone...ö
ôThe same Shinji who ripped apart an attacking force,ö said Misato.
ôThe same Shinji who sparred those attacking Sub Commander Fuyutsuki,ö added Ritsuko. ôListen, Misato; either work past this, or ask the pilots to move out. We donÆt have time to deal with your issues at the moment.ö
ôWhatÆs that supposed to mean?ö she asked defensively.
ôYou can look out that window, see all that construction, and honestly tell me we have time for this shit,ö stated Ritsuko.
Misato shook her head. ôOkay, then can someone give me an excuse why IÆm freaking out now?ö
Kaji shrugged. ôIntimacy issues?ö
Misato gave him an evil eye. ôYou better not be suggesting I want to sleep with him?ö
ôNot at all,ö said Kaji. ôBut you have to admit that back in college, when I got close to your heart; you tried to push me away.ö
ôYouÆre just afraid that if ShinjiÆs an Angel,ö said Ritsuko, ôthat youÆll be forced to kill him, and you donÆt want to suffer that hit against your humanity.ö
ôMaybe,ö said Misato. ôIf I have to, itÆd be better if he despised me, and if I hated him as well.ö
ôWouldnÆt it be better if Shinji was further grounded against such actions,ö said Kaji, ôbut such activities as strong emotional ties to those he would have to face?ö
ôSo IÆm just being a stubborn ass, huh?ö
ôOh yes,ö said Kaji.
ôVery much one,ö agreed Ritsuko.
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Path...
Understanding...
Hope...
Knowledge...
These are what I require, what I need to guide me. These are the tools that I use to make my way in this life.
Darkness...
Confusion...
I find my path as dark as ever, yet even more clear to me.
Grey Moon?
Grey Seed?
Grey?
I am growing, into what, I do not know.
My path lies before me.
To choose, I choose for all. Angels, lilim, hybrids.
What are we?
What am I?
What is the purpose of this?
Is their a divine purpose?
Children of Adam seek to destroy me in the battlefield of reality.
Lilith seeks to kill me within the battlefield of my mind.
Her children ... torn of their choices and dealings with me.
My path is clear; I shall face the Angels, I shall win.
My path afterwards is uncertain.
Will I stay?
Can I stay?
Seeds are meant to be planted, to grow new plants.
If I become a Seed, then what? What will happen to me? What will be my future when I achieve my full form?
I donÆt want to leave. Earth is my home, these people are my friends.
Changed? Have I changed? Have I become more? Have I become less?
What have I become?
What am I becoming?
Destiny...
Fate...
Unknowns continue to plague my life, altering the course on whims of fancy.
My family...
My friends...
Those that matter the most to me...
Those that need my help the most...
I fail to see the purpose, to know the reasoning behind these events.
The Gods... They created tools to make life, never end it, even if those consequences are the life already there being eradicated.
My path...
My truth...
My Seed...
I shall not stop.
I shall not fail.
They need me to succeed, and thus ... I shall.
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In the city of Moscow, the police were currently going over a crime scene.
It involved a middle-class woman. Her family stated she had only left to get groceries for dinner. She had no enemies; her husband had no enemies...
She had no reason to be killed ... at least, whatever reasons were usually given by someone who would do such a thing.
But here she was. Her purse was untouched. Her clothes were not ripped or torn, aside from the knife wound where her heart was.
And what was worse was that she had been ... changed.
Her husband had told the police officers that his wife had a tattoo around her belly button, a remnant of their pre-Second-Impact dating days.
It was gone.
Not knowing what to do, they had a sketch artist draw it up, wondering how someone could steal a tattoo. After all, people had been killed for lesser reasons than a particular tattoo they had.
But as he looked at the drawing, he was amazed. ôIÆve never seen one like this.ö
His lieutenants nodded in agreement. ôThough,ö said one, ôI swear IÆve seen this before. I just canÆt remember where.ö
If he had paid closer attention, he would have recalled seeing this tattoo a few months ago.
The tattoo was of Sahaquiel, the Tenth Angel.
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Shinji stared at the form of Unit 01, its own eight wings still extended, as if it was still being piloted. Even with ShinjiÆs expulsion from the core, the unit still showed active status by keeping its wings out.
ôIt looks like Fate is still playing a role in our lives,ö said Shinji.
ôIt would appear so, my son.ö
Shinji nodded. ôI need to get some sleep. Goodnight, Mother.ö
As he left, the purple face followed him out of the cage, before it turned to look at the control booth, seeing the sad face of the Commander of NERV. ôWell?ö
Gendo remained silent, before turning away. He knew he was not ready to face her again.
Fortunately, neither he nor his wife knew what to say. That was for the best at the moment.
Hearts and minds can mend.
The past, however; always keeps those wounds closer than anything else.