Nasuverse Unlimited Blade Works Parodies.

[shit_happens23]

Ah I love these UBW parodies no matter how often I see them bandied about various forums. Here's a couple I've thought of:

I am the boner in my groin
Perverted is my body and AIDS is in my blood
I have violated over a thousand assholes
Unaware of condoms
Nor aware of lube
Have withstood great pain to reach greater pleasure
Yet these hands will never give a reach-around
So as I put on my raep face,
"UNLIMITED HEDONISM WORKS!"

I am the fly in your ointment
Unwanted is my body and disgusting is my blood
I have pantsed over a thousand douchebags
Unaware of time
Nor aware of place
Have withstood great exasperation to plague many faggots
Yet it was not I who pissed in your cheerios
So as you rage,
"UNLIMITED ANNOYANCE WORKS!"

I am the light in the heavens
Strong is my body and charged is my blood
I have destroyed over a thousand armadas
Unaware of limits
Nor aware of mercy
Have withstood great numbers to annihilate my foes
Waiting for the moment
I have no need for regrets, I have chosen my path
My whole existence is,
"UNLIMITED... COSMIC... POWAAAHH!!!"

 

[MastaofBitches]

 

[Drunken_Loli]

That essay needs more love.

 

[MWkillkenny84]

Pair of parodies of the Aria, not mine but Shadow Crystal Mage's.
From chapter 5, <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6266421/5/FATE_Holy_Grail_War_of_2814' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Unlimited Blade Works</a>, by Kuro Illya Von Eizenberg/Emiya.

I call the bone in your swordà
Soft is my body, calling the fire in your blood,
I have created over a thousand lolicons!
Unknown to thermodynamics, regardless of physics, I screw reality with my Freudian blades!
UNLIMITED BLADE WORKS!

From chapter 7, <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6266421/7/FATE_Holy_Grail_War_of_2814' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Sexy Battle One-chaan Rider!</a>, by Broken-chan (aka Sakura Matou armed with the local version of the Book Of The Night Sky).

I am the core of my swordà
Strong is my body, and magic is my blood,
I wield over a thousand spells!
Unknowing of despair, unyielding to surrender, I have withstood solitude in defiance of darkness!
And yet these hands shall never cease learningà
And thus, I create my UNLIMITED BLADE WORKS!

 

[Drunken_Loli]

<a href='http://n00b.camzmac.com/' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>The Famous english to N00B translator.</a>

Read at your own peril.

IM TEh BOn3 OF MAhSwORD !!111!1!1 OMg
stEEEL IS MAHBOdY AND FIER Is MAHBLOOOD !!!!1 OMG WTf
I HAeV CrEAeTD oVAR 1000 BLAEds !1!11!!!! lOl
NoT KNOWN 2 D3ATH
NOR KNOWN 2 LIEf !1111!11
HAEV WItHs2D PANe 2 CR3AET MAny WeAPONS !!!!!!!! OMG WTF LoL
SO AS I PrAY !11!! OMg WTF LOL
UnLIMIeTd nOOOB WoRx1!11!!1!! OMG LOL

Entering complete retard mode here.

i]\/[ D/-\b0|\|/-\ 0f ]\/[/-\]-[5W0rD 11!!1! |_0|_
5T333|_ I5 ]\/[/-\]-[B0DY0Rz /-\|\|d Fi3r I50RZ ]\/[/-\]-[B|_000d 0RZ1!!!! |_0|_ |\|00B
I ]-[/-\3\/ CR3/-\3TD 0\/3R 100 B|_/-\3d5 11!11 |_0|_
|\|0T K|\|0W|\| 2 D/-\/-\T]-[
|\|0R K|\|0w|\| 2 |_I3F 0RZ11!!!!!1 WTF |_0|_
]-[/-\3\/ WiT]-[52D P/-\|\|3 2 CR3/-\3T ]\/[/-\|\|y W3/-\P0|\|5 !11!11! WtF |\|00b
50 /-\5 I PR/-\Y !1!1!!1!! |_0|_
0rZ U|\||_I]\/[I3TD |\|000B W0RX11!!11!! 0]\/[G |_0|_

 

[MastaofBitches]

 

[zerohour]

Well, given my current strategy in Starcraft 2, this seems appropriate.

I am the bone of my race.
Tech is my body and psi is my blood.
Unknown to victory, nor known to defeat
I have created over a thousand gateways,
Yet these armies know no rest
So, as I pray
UNLIMITED ZEALOT WORKS!!!

 

[Elvarein]

I am the Chicken of the Fillet,
Fat is my body, and red is my blood.
I have laid over 1000 eggs.
Not knowing my sons,
Nor knowing my daughters.
Have withstood stuffing to create much fat.
So, as I cluck,
Unlimited Egg Works!