Unnamed alt Storyline fic

seitora

Well-Known Member
#1
This is a continuation on a snippet I posted in the SM Ideas topic. No idea how long I might run with this, but I think it'll be at least a few more scenes.

First scene is new, a second scene might be posted tomorrow, the third scene would basically be the snippet I posted in the Ideas topic.

---

Committing to a roll, the tall man managed to dodge the spinning buzzsaw, once a simple forehead ornament, that had been aimed at his chest. Grunting as he sprung out of his roll onto his feet, he quickly sent out a burst of compressed magical energy to negate the blast of sizzling blue fire coming for him. It wasnÆt a perfect block as the hot temperature of the vanished fire roiled on his face for several seconds. He grimaced, blocked out the pain, and brought his arms up in a guard as he turned around to block a kick from above, the impact causing him to stumble back on one foot to retain his balance as his ears rang from the screeching sound of metal boot against metal guard.

Sensing the boomerang-like return of a projectile behind him, he quickly leaped into the air, soaring through the sky in a backflip, long brown hair flying behind him, before he landed, sending a tremor through the ground where he impacted.

Then fog set in, and he audibly growled. He had not yet known their full complement of abilities when the Sailor Senshi had ambushed him, and had not expecting them to be wearing goggles of all things. His past life before his Queen had reawakened his memories of an age buried in the passage of countless years told him what they were, and he had to admit it was ingenious of them.

Breathing in deeply, he shivered slightly as near-freezing air chilled his lungs, but quickly breathed out. The dispersal of the fog was worth the temporary discomfort. However, his opponents seemed not to mind every time he rid the area of fog, and with little wonder: they were fighting a battle of attrition, with he the one intended to tire out.

Scoundrels, that was what they were. The three Soldiers that had fought him must have hoped they could topple him quickly, but he had managed to outmanoeuvre them at first, neatly taking out the Soldier of Mercury with a hard snap-kick that had sent her sprawling down a wall, the satisfying crunch of bone resonating as she made impact. MercuryÆs two allies, Mars and a Senshi of the moon of all things, had managed to parry him for several minutes following that, none of the three wanting to commit too much attention to using a magic attack.

It was when a lull in the battle opened up that he cast aside his shadow, willing it to sneak up on Sailor Mars. That damnable man in the tuxedo û Jadeite had made no mention of him, curse him û had shown up and fended off his phantom doppelganger as it had taken form, preventing it from literally backstabbing Mars. While a small pool of blood coated the cement ground red, the masked man had taken out his shadow in exchange for being disabled.

ôDamn you,ö Nephrite finally spoke, inaudible grunts and groans far more common than the spoken word in the battle thus far, as he kept his eyes carefully on both Sailor Moon and Mars. That bitch Mercury had regained consciousness sometime during his faceoff with her allies, and had retreated, tugging the dark-cloaked man with her. Nephrite had thought it would be the last he would see of her, believing he had dealt enough damage to keep her out of the fight. That much was true in a literal sense, as she had instead started using her fog attack from afar, chilling him each time the porous mist seeped into his body.

The few seconds it took him to get rid of the fog had opened him up to attack, and he was feeling the many sore spots from where Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars had landed successful physical attacks on him. And he just knew that Mercury was getting ready to cast her fog again. The only upside was that he knew that much like him, left eye half shut by a trail of blood from right above his eyebrow, the blonde and the black-haired Senshi appeared to be in poor condition as well.

Nephrite circled around, his two opponents at an impasse with him as they too moved around in the circle, neither side willing to expose their backs or get too close. He took the precious few seconds afforded to him to weigh his options. He could conceivably win this fight still and kill the Sailor Senshi for once and for all, but it could all too easily end in disaster. He may have been the last of four, but he still had many underlings that he could bring to the next fight to distract the Senshi as he took them down one by one. Being the one to ambush instead of being ambushed would be even better.

His mind made up, Nephrite brought up his hands. Mars and Moon tensed, ready to jump away at a momentÆs notice once he started casting his attack. Jump they did as he threw out several balls of crackling electricity at them, causing miniature explosions as they impacted against cement and brick. With his two opponents distancing themselves, Nephlite brought his right hand up again, and made to open a portal to Point D, home base of the Dark Kingdom.

It was only the sound of air being split being faster the actual air himself and a moment of insane reflexes that saved NephriteÆs life. He didnÆt come out of it unharmed.

ôG-g-guh?ö Was all the brown-haired general of the Dark Kingdom could manage, his face paling as he looked down at the stump where his right hand had been, blood spurting out the severed veins and arteries. He found himself surprised as he forced his way through the sheer shock of losing an appendage to turn his head in the direction of where he had dodged from.

If it was possible, his eyes widened even more. His opponent, wielding a curved sword sporting a silver sheen, was now turning around. The long white hair he could see from his opponentÆs back was enough to arouse his fear, but his heart sank as he saw the swordsmanÆs bright green eyes, and then the crescent moon set in his forehead.

Shivering, Nephrite nearly jumped as he sensed a presence beside him. Turning his head around, and then down, he saw the stuff of nightmares.

ôY-y-you...ö He trailed off as blue eyes peered through a red-rimmed eyemask at his own, the tiny form of the long-haired blonde hiding unparalleled ruthlessness as she had her hand at his side, angled up. He hated those blue eyes. They had watched on as two of his comrades had died. The emotion he was beginning to feel was enough for him to break out of his shock and finish his sentence. ôYOU MURDERER!ö

The girl seemed almost disinterested in his proclamation as she spoke, ôCrescent Beam.ö

Only his wails marked the passage of NephriteÆs death, his form fading away into dust, as a beam of energy shot through his body, piercing him from his back before exiting out just above his chest.

---

As if daring to believe that the man they had fought against for over fifteen minutes stretched over a lifetime was finally dead, Usagi let out her breath. The pumping of adrenaline into her arteries began to dull, but the loud pounding of blood blocked out nearly all external sound. Vaguely, she could feel her hands shaking in nervous relief, as she brought her hands up to remove the night goggles Ami had suggested the three of them wear for the fight, and used her hand to wipe a brow of sweat off her forehead, the cool evening air already chilling her slimy skin.

Still in quiet astonishment, she watched as the girl she identified as the famous Sailor V bent over, picking up a green rock. Her logical mind still dulled as it was from the heat of battle, Usagi didnÆt even question it. Instead, she observed the blondeÆs clothing, so much like her own outfit, and yet so different.

A red ribbon kept VÆs hair in place, owl-like mask perched on her nose, similar to the one Usagi herself sometimes used. A thin white choker with the symbol of the moon was around her neck. Her upper shirt had layers of blue and white with spots of red and a red knotted tie between her breasts, and she wore a short skirt, blue with red trimmings. The outfit was topped off with two long gloves.

But even all of that wasnÆt as important as the symbol of the Moon on her forehead.

The sound of crunching gravel brought Usagi out of her spiel, as she idly noted Ami, still in her transformation, walking towards the group, Tuxedo Mask beside her, using the blue-haired girl as a crutch to stay upright (perhaps today he would reveal his true identity, given a need for better coordination). A second later, she swung her head back to NephriteÆs killer, and watched wide-eyed as the white-haired man from earlier seemed to shift out of existence and then back in, kneeling to the Sailor V.

ôMy lady,ö he spoke softly, yet the wind carried his words such that everyone could hear them. A fleeting thought passed through UsagiÆs mind, that the white-haired man was not only handsome, donning similarly-white long pants and a full-sized shirt, but also had a handsome voice, a deep baritone, before it was banished as she honed in exactly on what he had said.

ôAh, excuse me,ö She nervously spoke up, attracting the attention of all but for the white-haired man, who kept his face facing forward, ôAre you the Moon Princess weÆve been searching for?ö

Usagi could have expected many things û a simple yes, a simple no, a non-answer, many things û but what she didnÆt expect for the new Senshi to grimace in disgust as if she had tasted vinegar, before answering. ôPathetic. All of you are pathetic.ö


---

1666 words. Maybe I could use that for a Nanowrimo project :p

Probably the hardest part of this snippet was trying to write the present-tense fighting. When Nephrite didnÆt have a single real attack and most of the girls only had two techniques or so each throughout the course of the manga, and not every one of them offensive in nature, I had to improvise. I made magic a bit flexible in its use as Nephrite can create a sort of shield to stop a fireball and blow away the mist. But overall it was more general fighting with some occasional magic.

As far as Moon-Mercury-Mars are concerned, things have gone through the regular timeline as usual, killing Jadeite before Nephrite starts to fight them. They have the occasional monster-of-the-week to fight to keep their skills up between fights with Jadeite and Nephrite, but theyÆre more battle-hardened since Nephrite has stronger youma at his command than canon (there's a reason why, not outright mentioned in this scene, but a bit of thinking can clue you in as to why). However, thereÆs a long lull in between Dark Kingdom plots, so the girls use the time to think and plot. On the other hand, Jupiter hasnÆt awakened, mostly because the three girls ambushed Nephrite before he had a chance to do his whole possessed bridal gown plot.

If anything seems off to you feel free to point it out. I don't want this to morph into a holy terror of character rape ala bitch!Usagi and manipulator!Pluto.

And I need a title.
 

Seiya

Well-Known Member
#2
Glad you decided to continue your idea. Seems really interesting so far.
 

seitora

Well-Known Member
#4
zeebee1 said:
What was the idea?
The main idea was basically toying around with the ending of Sailor V to change Minako in the approximately year between the end of CSV and her appearance in Sailor Moon (I wrote up a timeline for CSV that fits surprisingly well in one of these topics, where CSV goes from late March/early April 2 years before the start of SM to about August the year before SM, leaving about 7-8 months between), where Minako becomes a LOT better, and does far more stuff off-screen. However, there is definite storyline change as a result, some of which you can see in this first scene already, more of which will be in the next snippet.

The secondary idea was an Artemis/Minako pairing, with Artemis deciding at the end of Codename: Sailor V that he needed to do some damage control quick after Danboorite made his prediction about Minako never being able to find love.
 

ragnarok1337

Well-Known Member
#5
Even with your explanation, I'm still confused as hell. Waiting for the next part to hopefully explain things more.
 

seitora

Well-Known Member
#6
There's a couple more short scenes to tack on before it leads into the snippet I posted in the ideas topic. Again, keep an eye out so I don't run down into any character rape. Needs some editing done, since I hammered it together between a pair of engineering tech assignments.

---

Blue eyes blinked out of the darkness, as their holder watched the proceedings.

She was not a combatant by any measure, so while she felt the need to accompany one of her wards at nearly all waking moments of the day, she would often retreat when actual battle occurred. In this case, it was they who had pressed the attack, so she had been able to scout a safe spot well beforehand.

It afforded her ample position to watch the proceedings, and so she had been surprised when the two newcomers had entered the scene. One of them she had easily recognised û photos of Sailor V were often plastered on newspaper headlines or TV news channels, to the point the red, white and blue outfit had seeped into the popular culture. That white-haired man, with the crescent moon symbol adorning his forehead, however...he seemed very familiar, the feeling that she knew him bugging her, like a piece of yarn just outside her swatting range.

Slit eyes widened abruptly as she realised just who he was, and more importantly, how she knew him. She would have dashed out there to confront him, only for Sailor V to speak.

ôPathetic. All of you are pathetic.ö

Her head spun around to where the predecessor vigilante stood. What had she just said?

The long-haired part-time crime-fighter had removed her mask, intense eyes enthralling all who were in their grip. A sneer dominated the rest of her features. ôI came here hoping the other Senshi were ready to fight. I thought that your decision to orchestrate an ambush spoke well. Instead, I get a ragtag team of misfits.ö

No, no, what was she saying? What was she doing?! The scenario was all wrong! She had the crescent moon on her forehead! She was Princess Serenity reincarnated! Why was she badmouthing the soldiers who were supposed to be her protectors?!

Sailor V turned her eye to Sailor Mars, who had taken a nasty bruise right underneath her eye, forcing her eyelid shut. ôYouÆre aggressive. I admire that. But you exposed yourself far too often during that battle. Seriously? Throwing a piece of paper at him? Who do you think he is, Lum Invader? All you did was give him an opportunity to strike!ö

Mars literally staggered back a few feet, caught by the blow of the words directed at her, but Sailor V wasnÆt done yet, as she turned to Mercury. ôAnd you! I bet you came up with the plan for the ambush, that was well done. But to be taken out of the fight within seconds is an embarrassment! Using your mist like that? A fine choice, if he was committed to a fight to the death. I could tell he was preparing to escape before we stopped him. All you did was merely act like a fly as far as he was concerned!ö

Mercury already looked like she was about to burst into tears, as Sailor V focused her attention on the lone male of those originally fighting. ôAnd you! ItÆs all nice and well to see youÆre helping out, but what really can you add to a fight? ItÆs all very well that you managed to defeat NephriteÆs shadow with that,ö Here, she made a gesture to the short cane with one end bulb-shaped that he held as a crutch in the hand that wasnÆt wrapped around Mercury, ôBut that was NephriteÆs shadow, and Nephrite was the second weakest of the enemyÆs generals! If you were fighting anybody stronger and got hit again like you just did, if you didnÆt have Mercury or somebody else able to carry you off without possibly exposing herself to the enemy, then youÆre just dead weight!ö

Whether it was a testament to his mental fortitude or just the amount of blood he had lost, something that would prompt the need for a new tuxedo, her victim didnÆt even flinch. Sailor V didnÆt keep her attention on him any longer, as she finally turned to the last of the Senshi.

Usagi was trembling, herself looking like she might begin to cry. Bratty she may have been at times, she was still a natural empathy, a rare individual both able to sense the surrounding mood and capable of being overwhelmed by it. The growing rage in Sailor Mars and the sinking depression in Sailor Mercury was making a mockery of her coping mechanisms. Sailor V knew none of this, as she tore right into the one who was perhaps leader of the Senshi only by virtue of being the first to be awakened by Luna.

ôYouÆre far too soft,ö V stated. ôYou hesitated before every attack. You threw your tiara, about the strongest attack you can do in a short period of time, when he could see it coming. That boomerang trick wasnÆt going to work on him, either. You had at least two opportunities to use a magic attack on him when-ô

The renowned magical girl would have continued, only to be punched in the face by Sailor Mars.

LunaÆs heart cracked. How could this have happened? How could the princess have become so...so different in this life? The feline thought to herself, shaking her head as she walked out into the open, moonlight shining down on her black fur. The white-haired man tensed as she approached, clearly recognising her, but not making a movement. He seemed content to allow things to proceed as was currently occurring. And what happened to you? What did she do to make you decide to take that form?

It was a disaster, that was for sure. The blue-eyed Mau had hoped this Sailor V would finally show up, and join forces with the Senshi she had herself discovered, and present a stronger, united front against the array of forces that had invaded Tokyo. Instead, it was turning into a disastrous encounter, as her third discovery, Rei Hino, a miko, started yelling.

ôWho do you think you are!ö Sailor Mars shouted, finally pushing back against the newcomerÆs vicious words. ôWe fought Nephrite, and you stood by and watched until you decided to swoop in and kill him by surprise after we wore him down?ö The black-haired girl was working herself up into a good lather, but she seemed to regain some semblance of calm, continuing on in a lower voice, specks of anger still floating around the edge of her words. ôAt least IÆm not a coward like you. I killed Jadeite without needing any help, Princess.ö

ôAre you done yet?ö

Mars blinked once, then twice as she attempted to process Sailor VÆs nonchalant words. She opened her mouth to speak again, only for the blonde to cut her off. ôTell me, how many youma have you fought off in the last month? Fifteen? No, five.ö

The red-and-white clothed Soldier of Mars had tried to get a word in, only for her eyes to widen at the precise guess that just happened to be correct. Sailor V wasnÆt about to allow her the opportunity, either, as she continued, ôI know it was five because that was the number of operations I scouted out that I ended up never having to take out on my own. While you three, or four if you prefer, took out an operation a week by the main force behind all these attacks, and waited around for the next suspicious activity to pop up, I took out many more operations that you never discovered, nearly one every other day for almost an entire year, and stopped their vanguard in the year before that still.ö

Her revealing of her activities had stunned the other three Senshi, as she concluded, ôYou know nothing.ö

Turning around, exposing her back to everyone else, she began to walk away, the white haired man standing up and following behind her in close lockstep with her. Sailor V abruptly stopped, turning her head around, one hand rubbing her jaw where Mars had struck her, before putting her red eyemask back on. ôThe enemy calls themselves the Dark Kingdom. They are û or were, for the most part û reincarnations of a number of participants in a successful coup dÆÚtat against the Royal Family of Earth, before they turned their attention to the Silver Millenium of Earth, destroying it. I donÆt know how much of it Luna remembers and might have told you, but the one who gave them power was able to destroy my kingdom before Mother sealed her away at the cost of her own life.ö

Sailor V looked down, a forlorn expression on her face, her tone almost wistful at mention of the Silver Millenium. ôDonÆt approach me until you can show you truly have the will to fight, when youÆre willing to make it your primary duty, not an occasional obligation. Otherwise, youÆre all dead weight to me.ö She brought her head up again, and made the motion to turn it around facing frontwards, before Usagi finally gathered the courage to speak, cheeks still red from tear streaks, and eyes slightly puffy.

ôB-but, Princess-ô Usagi made to speak, only to be cut off.

ôDonÆt call me that,ö Sailor VÆs tone was as ice, jaw clenched tight. ôThe Silver Millenium no longer exists. Get that straight, you too, Luna.ö At this, the black cat was startled out of her thoughts, understanding the jab being made, sure her desire to see the Moon Kingdom reborn was another thing the white-haired swordsman had filled the reborn Princess in on. ôIt was destroyed when those who now call themselves the Dark Kingdom took over Earth and destroyed all life on the Moon. All that remains are what ruins might have been magically preserved. All I can do now is to make sure they do not succeed in taking over Earth again.ö

With those words, the two left, leaving the alleyway.

---

Four children and a cat stood silent in a back road, a dark alley to one side. Was it luck that nobody else had intruded on them, either during the fight or the ensuing conversation? None of them had the energy to even consider the idea, physically and emotionally exhausted as they were.

Rejected by the Princess that Luna had told them they had foresworn a lifetime ago to guard. Being verbally beaten into the ground afterwards, topped off by finding out their efforts had been miniscule compared to what had to be made to stop the enemy in its tracks. Finding out that the Princess almost single-handedly (the man in white was a mystery to all but one) had stopped many more energy-sucking operations was an even more devastating blow.
It made them feel worthless.

Surprisingly, it was Tuxedo Mask who spoke first, the first words anybody had heard him say all night.

ôNone of you can go home as you are. My apartment is nearby. I live alone,ö He added, the qualifier all that needed to be really stated by its implications, that of no parents or guardian to question why each girl seemed to be in mild shock, or had facial wounds that would still take the night to heal, even with their accelerated healing.

It was the leader of the Senshi who managed to reply, finding ôWho are you really, Tuxedo Mask?ö Usagi asked the question with only meagre enthusiasm. Before, she would have been excited to find out the masked manÆs true identity, but now the prospect of finding it out felt like ash in her mouth.

The wounded jewel thief paused for a second, a visible wince in his body as he slouched slightly, before he sighed. ôYou were careless with your handkerchief, Usagi.ö

Hearing her name û her true name û spoken aloud caused her to freeze up, as she realised just what he had mentioned. A flash of memory came of a dinner party, but it was cut low as Tuxedo Mask finally removed his eyemask.

ôOh,ö Usagi said, as if all the emotion her body could possibly muster had already been mustered, leaving her to be blasÚ to finding out the civilian identity of an ally. ôItÆs you,ö Was all she could really manage as her mind slowly began to associate Mamoru Chiba, Grade 11 student at Moto Azabu High School, with Tuxedo Mask, jewel thief and sometimes-ally of the Sailor Senshi.

ôYes, itÆs me,ö Mamoru replied, lacking much wit given the pain he still was in. Looking down at his chest, he noted the red stain around his undershirt almost disinterestedly. ôLuckily I wasnÆt carrying it at the time, else I wouldnÆt be able to give it back to you undamaged.ö

ôYeah,ö Usagi said, finally deactivating her transformation, the other two girls following her prompt, ôLucky.ö



---

2105 words according to Word

I realise I strayed a bit into bitch!Rei, but tried not to, instead keeping her actions here as merely being the one to push back against V's scolding, given Mercury and Moon are rather unlikely to do so themselves. And yes, I did weaken Mar's ofuda attack, if only to have an excuse to give her a general fireball attack already. It'll still be useful against 'supernatural'-type enemies such as the regular youma, and the Death Busters.

Now, like I said, I need to do some editing. However, there are two ways to read the above snippet. You can either read it straight and see Minako acting as a bitch, or read it from the idea that she might have the same motives as canon when she first showed up in SM, but heavily twisted around. But where, in between those two polar opposites, does her actions seem to truly lie?

Some things I would want to change in an edit, given how hastily this was put together - give Mercury a few lines, change the order of V's dialogue around a little bit, rewrite a few things to give more of the impression that the lion's share of the snippet in this post is from Luna's perspective without directly making it her PoV. Try to make sure that I have consistency between how much the M-trio already know about the Dark Kingdom and what Sailor V reveals to them in this chapter that they don't know about, as well as making mention of the fact they ambushed Nephrite at least one more time.
 

zeebee1

Well-Known Member
#7
So she's thinks because she grew up fast that their inexperience is a bad thing. The issue is she has these veiws to having more experience. I see no indication of Minako in her, and that is a bad thing.
 

ragnarok1337

Well-Known Member
#8
I agree with zeebee. While I find this OOC-ness isn't necessarily a bad thing, you should quickly explain, either in an infodump or a series of flashbacks, how Minako got to this point. OOC is generally fine, if you have the justification. But so far there is none, and she is MINO.
 
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