Akamatsuverse Waking Dreams

EagleCeres

Well-Known Member
#1
As it says in the description, this is a random idea that popped into my head a while back and I've been trying to get rid of. So what best way to get rid of it? letting the keyboard strokes do the talking.

I'm not quite sure just how far this rabbit hole goes and I apologize in advance for the bad grammar... I studied maths and sciences, not literary arts :p
<hr>
Dreaming out Loud

Disclaimer: Borrowing the characters, setting and scenery from the owners, any Original Characters that spawn from here are mine, tho probably inspired by others from other fandoms. I'm not making a red cent off this belligerent attempt at writing, so donÆt bother getting the lawyers. Constructive Criticism will be accepted to help make this more a more tolerable read, flames will be considered troll bait and thusly ignored. If you donÆt like it, lump it, take it down the road and dump it!

= = = = = = =
Prologue
Waking up à never felt so real.

= = = = = = =

æWhere... where am I?Æ these were my first thoughts as I woke up on what felt like a soft bed in a quiet hospital room, a sudden memory reminds me why. æWait, my first day at TouDaià the roof ornamentà the girls!!!Æ

I tried to get up in a hurry to see if they were okay, only to reel back in pain while I noticed it was having difficulty opening my eyes. "Ouch... did anyone get the number of that Mecha Tama that hit me?" My first words since I woke up, I bet it sounded weird thanks to a parched throat and the lingering pains.

"Kei??? You're awake? Oh, thank God!" responded a soft feminine voice approaching me.

ôNaàö I stopped myself, something just a little off about his current situation æthatà that doesnÆt sound like NarusegawaÆ

ôIÆm sorryà howà how long have I been out forö I responded to the voice as I mentally cataloged the aches and pains my body was reporting as I tried to move æyep, that definitely feels like a cast on my left leg, bandages on my head, and pain everywhere elseÆ

ôYouÆve been in a coma a little over eleven weeks.ö The woman in my room responded; her voice next to my bed, as she placed a glass with water is placed in my hands.

As I started taking sips, my mind started to try to make sense of the situation. æShe doesnÆt sound like Mutsumi-san either, or any of the other girls from the Inn for that matter.Æ

After finishing up the water, I was finally starting to feel a little more alive, although still tired. I tried opening my eyes slowly; thanking my lucky starts it was a dark evening.

As my eyesight slowly improved, the only thing I could see was the feminine silhouette belonging to the voice IÆve been hearing. Feeling a little confident, I went ahead and cracked my usual wining smile æmaybe sheÆs the nurse in charge of this shift?Æ

ôWell, there went that triumphant entrance to TouDai that IÆve been parroting about for years now, huh?ö I asked myself rhetorically as I scratched my head with my left hand, my usual nervous tick when IÆm ashamed of something I did wrong or failed to do.

ôItÆs alright Keià youÆre awake and thatÆs all that mattersö Her gentle response stopping my thought processes while she took the glass away, then returning to hold my right hand between her two soft warm hands.

My eyesight finally cleared completely at that moment, so I looked at her intent on recognizing her. She graced me with a beautiful smile, and I couldnÆt help but look at her more attentively as she squeezed my hand softly æOkay, this is a little awkward, but I could get used to thisà she does seem to be on a on nick-name basis with me.Æ

Her smile faltered at my lack of response, sobering up a little more before she continued to talk. ôThe Doctors said your cast may take a couple more weeks to come offö. That gave me a little hope to get out of here soon. ôBut due to the blunt force trauma to your head, there may be a bit of memory loss, but they couldnÆt confirm from the tests they ran.ö

That last comment got me thinking out loud about my current situation ôIÆve been in a coma for eleven weeks? And thereÆs possible memory loss? Am I going to be alright?ö I was about to give in to despair, but the warm hands holding mine were very comforting. ôUmàö

ôNatsukoà my nameö she replied to the unsaid question as a couple of tears spilled from the corners of her eyes. ôI guess weÆre going to have a lot to catch up on, huh Kei?ö

æCatch up?Æ Any further questions I may have had at that moment were silenced as she pulled away from me. ôIÆll contact the rest of the family now.ö

I was left completely dumbfounded, ærest of the family?Æ I could only nod back to her in response, as she wiped away her tears before pulling out a cell phone to make a call.

æMaybe I did get hit in the head a little too hard if I forgot someone like her was in my family.Æ I decided to keep my thoughts quiet and pay more attention to Natsuko.

As she stepped into the moonlight by the window, I couldnÆt help but notice her blue eyes and how her almost waist long dark red hair was shining. At that moment the loudest thought crossing my mind was æSheÆs way too pretty to be shedding tears for me.Æ I could clearly see her trying not to fidget as I all but stared at her.

I couldnÆt help but look back her previous actions and attitude, which often gave me small flashbacks of my dear friends at the Hinata Sou. æAlthough IÆm glad that neither Naru nor Motoko-chan are here right now, the way this girl responds to me, they would think I was shamelessly flirting her or something.Æ

ôKana-chan?à No, I just didnÆt expect you to be at Haruka-sanÆs this late at nightàö

æWait, Kanako-chan???... at HarukaÆs?... since when are they on friendly terms?Æ I tried to get my mind off the conversation by looking around the private hospital room. I noticed a clock on the wall in front of me reading 11:50 PM, a couple of tasteful paintings were hung on the wall by the door and the Hinata skyline outside the window on the far wall. æAt least IÆm not far from home.Æ

ôSorry calling this lateà actually, I called because he finally woke upàö I looked back at her and caught a light blush coloring her cheeks while she continued her call, glancing back at me with a playful smile every so often ôyeah, IÆm glad tooàö

æShe does have a nice smileà arrgh! Naru and Motoko might be right, maybe I am a pervert.Æ

ôDo you want to speak with him?... okay, tomorrow during your visit then?à thanks again, for being thereö she hung up and put away the phone, then walked back over to my bed.

I try to think of something to say, although IÆm drawn back to the phone call. ôWas that Kanako on the phone?ö Natsuko nods back at me, then sitting right next to me on the bed as if she always belonged there. ôI havenÆt seen her for quite a while; she must have grown up by now.ö

Shaking her head at me, she gets this sad smile for a second then takes a mockingly formal tone. ôWell, IÆm glad you took such a good nap Kei, because WeÆre going to have a long talkö

I gulp nervously at her stern words, ôUmà Natsuko-san?ö I get a giggle out of her in response to my nervous body language.

ôDonÆt worry, I wonÆt biteö her comment letting me relax for a moment as she leans in and whispers in my ear. ôI like to nibble.ö Which only serves to make me more nervous, I bet IÆm visibly blushing. æShe must really know me well if she can rile me up as easily Kitsune usually doesÆ.

ôGuess Your Hime still has it!ö she sits up posing proudly, then make a gun hand gesture at me and winking as she makes a shooting motion.

Enjoying the relaxed air we have now, I decide to ham it up in response as I fall back dying like a bad actor on a second rate TV drama ôUguuuu!! You got me!ö The honest laugh from Natsuko-san made me feel better, although now IÆm curious why ôum, waità My Hime?ö

ôYeah, youÆve called me that ever sinceà foreverö she sighs tiredly for a second as she arranges her thoughts. ôGeez, I never thought IÆd ever have to explain that one to you! YouÆre the one with the attention for detail and the passion for remembering thingsö

ôMy memoryÆs not THAT goodö I grin sheepishly. æOkayà so maybe we ARE closer than I originally thought.Æ

ôSays the guy that serenaded his girlfriend on their first date with the Liddo-kun and Friends theme songà over ten years after the show endedö she replied with a bit of a snicker.

ôUgh!ö I hang my head in shame, knowing that IÆd probably do that. ôI bet that must have been embarrassing for her!ö pausing after catching myself hum the first few bars of that old song. I couldnÆt help myself; the old tune was an ear worm and always got me in a good mood. æWait, I never serenaded Naruà or Mutsumi on our dates.Æ

ôYou could be surprised what some girls consider romanticàö she replied with a playful wink, which stopped my thought process ôalso, you gave your Hime a good birthday present this yearö

ôWait, I did? What was it?ö Making me hopeful, if she can help me remember stuff, I shouldnÆt stop her.

ôYou woke up, silly!ö she replies matter-of-factly, then poking at my ribs playfully. ôAnd here I thought I was going to spend a boring birthday at the hospital tomorrowö.

ôHuh? Your birthday is tomorrow?ö looking a little mind boggled ôand how did me waking up from a coma become a good birthday present?ö

ôYou always bake me a æDeath by Chocolate CakeÆ on my birthday! But it seems like this year, IÆm going to miss it.ö She pouts cutely at me for a second then looking at the clock on the wall strike midnight.

ôThe date is now June 21, 2000àö she leans over me on the bed and kisses my forehead and then proceeds to selfishly pull me into a warm hug.

ôWell umàö I blink confused for a moment, then proceeding to return the hug to the affectionate young woman in my arms, whispering back ôHappy Birthday Hime.ö

As I feel myself relax, she then pulls back and graces me with a saucy wink that wouldnÆt look out of place on Kitsune back at the Inn. ôumà Hime?ö My question was ignored and promptly followed up by her kissing me fully on the lips.

While it was innocent at first, I found myself responding to the kiss. As I we were took break for air, I could have sworn she had a look saying she enjoyed the goofy grin IÆm sure was on my face ôThanks hun!ö

Her happy response quickly turned into slight disappointment, noted by her pinching of my nose ôAww, I thought we had cured you of those nose bleeds on our Wedding dayö she huffed cutely as she wiped the trickle of blood on my upper lip with a kerchief.

ôYay! Wedding day!ö She smiled hapilly. I still grinned like a loon.

It took few moments for my brain to reboot and process her last words. ôWait! WeÆre Married? How long? When and where did we meet? How long have we known each other?ö Putting a dainty finger on my lips, she effectively shut me up and stopped my spazz out moment.

Taking a moment to collect herself and sit beside me on the bed, she smiled sadly at me before continuing. ôMy name is Natsuko Urashima, nÚe Natsuko Sunoharaà and you better get comfy mister, because IÆm going to tell you our storyö.

She had my full and undivided attention now, but there was still one comment left unvoiced and lingering in my back of my mind. æWhen the girls find out, theyÆre gonna kill me!Æ
 

rukia8492

Well-Known Member
#2
well this has my interest.
 

marthf1

Well-Known Member
#3
Wow, that was a very good prologue. Has personality, mystery, typical Keitaro, & no real noticeable errors.
 

ThreadWeaver

Beware of Dog. Cat not trustworthy either.
#4
This has certainly piqued my interest, but I'm curious who Natsuko is. Is she OC or in another manga/anime somewhere?

I see no problems so far. It looks like a dimensional-shift Keitaro since he has a set of of memories that don't fit this reality. Or, at least, the reality she's feeding him.
 

chronodekar

Obsessively signs his posts
Staff member
#5
I was coming in here to post a new story myself when I saw this. As the earlier posters said, I'm intrigued as well.

Will you possibly continue this EagleCeres? :huh: Or are you hoping for someone else to pick it up?

-chronodekar
 

EagleCeres

Well-Known Member
#6
Thanks for the kind words everyone.

@ThreadWeaver: yes Natsuko is an OC, although her personality is heavily marked with the childhood friend archetype, as for looks I took as reference Tamaki Kousaka (To Heart 2) mixed with Tsubaki Yayoi (Blaz Blue)

@chronodekar: I will be continuing this one as long as the muse keeps inspiring me...
although I can't promise a quick turnaround (I'm not really prolific as a writer).
 

EagleCeres

Well-Known Member
#7
= = = = = = =
Dreaming Out Loud
Chapter 01
Learning to Breathe
= = = = = = =

My family, the Sunohara's, had rented out the Hinata Sou to celebrate the marriage between my older brother, Kyouhei-niisama, and his long time sweetheart Miu-san. Your family was acting as the host for the event and they spared no expense to make it the best wedding ever... until ours.

Anyhow, ever since we met, we enjoyed being together. We would run around the Hinata Sou, played in the sand lot in the park nearby, chased butterflies and collected Hercules beetles; even your Aunt had to baby-sit on us a few times, just so we would calm down and not drive our parents crazy. I don't know how it happened, but we were pretty much inseparable and unstoppable.

It was a great summer, and as the days ticked closer to the wedding, the preparations were in full swing started keeping the adults of both our families even more busier than before, but surely we always found ways to have fun.

- - - - - - -

"Mooom! Can Hime and I go out and play now? Pleeeeease???" asked the rambunctious Urashima boy to his busy mother, closely followed by a red headed little girl in a cute yukata. "Aunt Haruka's busy. We already did our chores, practiced our tea ceremony and now we're boooored!!!"

"Only if Hime's mother doesn't mind..." after a confirming nod from the Sunohara mother a small cheer came from the children. "BUT!... you two WONÆT come back all grimy like last time..." this comment was followed by a couple of Cheshire cat grins visible on said youthsÆ faces "it took us the better part of an hour to get all the leaves and branches out of Hime's pretty hair the other night!" the mother chided.

"It's okay Auntie" bowed the little girl with a bit of formal flare. "I'll keep him out of trouble this time" the little girl answered with a knowing wink, which brought a smile to both mothers, before said girl ran away giggling.

"Yes she will!" Grinned the little boy proudly, and then blinked for a second. "Hey!!! Wait a minute!!! Get back here Hime!!!" yelled the boy as he chased after his playmate, passing by the matron of the Urashima clan.

"Oh, to be that young all over again" sighed the Matriarch of the Urashima as she waved to the children running past her.

- - - - - - -

The day of the wedding finally arrived and we played our parts in the ceremony as best we could. As a reward for all our help during the preparations the previous days and our good behavior during the event, our parents thought to let us run wild that afternoon and enjoy ourselves while they drank themselves silly as they celebrated with the newlyweds.

I had been unusually serious that day, and you picked up on it quickly even if you didnÆt call me out on it. Although immediately after the formal ceremony, you dragged me off to the Annex to find out why.

Ah! The Annex, it was like our private club house. WeÆd usually play hide-and-seek every other afternoon there until past sundown and afterwards we would look to the sky and count the stars from the porch or look for fireflies.

But on that that specific night, as soon as we got there, I broke down and started crying.

- - - - - - -

"What's wrong Hime?" asked the little boy as he held the crying girl's hands gently. "It's your Onii-chan's wedding day... you should be happy for him!"

"I am! I am very happy for Onii-sama, but..." she choked down a sob as she tightened her grasping onto his hands as if it were a lifeline.

"Whatever it is, it shouldn't make you sad on this special day for your family!" he smiled earnestly at her.

"Mama saidà that we're going back homeà to Kyoto in few days..." sobbing in between words "and I donÆt want to go! I had the best summer ever, thanks to you!" she smiled back at him in between tears.

"So did I, Hime. And we still have plenty of time to have more fun!" he responded, attempting to calm her down, also thinking a little more on her words. "Maybeà maybe we can convince your parents to come back for the winter! We can make snow angels! And drink hot cocoaà"

"But winter is so far away!ö she worried as his attentions began to soothe her ôI don't know, maybe? à but winter is such a long time and I'm going to miss playing with you!" she pouted cutely.

"I'm going to miss you too, Hime!ö blushing for a moment, then scrunching up his forehead in thought, ôum... we'll think of something!" then delivered a million yen smile. "I promise you Hime, even if we get separated for a little while, we'll be together forever!"

- - - - - - -

I knew, the moment you said that, I was sure you would never let me down. All those times we got in trouble that summer, you had always saved me. When our mothers chided us for making a mess of our clothes and our fathers chewed us out when we got a couple of bumps and scrapes; you always stood by my side, holding my hand, never letting go.

One particular time, I started crying because your Aunt teased us very harshly, but then you stood up to her, saying she only did that because she was just jealous that she didn't have a great friend like you did. That made me really happy, although she became quiet and left us alone the rest of that day.

Anyhow, by the time we got back to the party, some of the adults noticed how close we were and said something about a cute little couple. I didn't understand what they meant at that time, I just thought they were teasing us, but you were smiling and that always cheered me up, so I didn't mind.

- - - - - - -

As the boy's aunt had noticed that the children had walked back to the party, hand in hand and talking quietly, she decided that it was high time for some regularly scheduled teasing. "Hey brats! Stop looking so lovey-dovey or I'm gonna tell your parents to engage you two!"

"What's an æengagedÆ?" asked the little boy with a deeply confused face.

"Oh! That's like Kyou-niisama and Miu-neesan... they were engaged for a long time and then they got married!" responded the little girl with a giggle.

'What are these two up to now?' thought the elder, her interest piqued.

The confused looking boy asked "so, they were together like friends for a looooong long time, because they were engaged?" unwittingly ignoring his aunt.

'He's not thinking what I think he's thinking... is he?'

"Yeah... and because they're adults, they got married!" responded the girl, following in her friend's logic, also ignoring their elder.

æOh! Wait!Æ the aunt grinned as Machiavellian ideas going through her mind. æThis will be such an AWESOME prank!'

"Hey! I know..." responded the boy while looking like he had the greatest idea ever "Hime, lets get engaged! That way WE can be together forever!"

'Time to teach them a lesson for ignoring their elders!' thought as she walked over to them. "So I hear you want to get engaged?"

"Eeep!" was the last thing the little girl said before she and her friend were assailed by his ever teasing aunt.

- - - - - - -

A little while later, after some coaching and play acting thanks to your aunt, we walked over to our parents. They were surprised with the show we put up for them, it had started being very formal and serious, but everyone attending the party seemed to enjoy and get into our little show once we stopped being nervous.

At the end our fathers cheered the loudest and our mothers wouldn't stop giggling, my other brother Takamichi and your aunt Haruka decided at that moment to light up fireworks saying æit was customary during engagements and weddingsÆ, we just looked at each other smiling as we held hands and bowed to the applause at the end of our little show.

After the party had died down, we did our usual routine of watching the stars in the sky only this time we sat at one of the fancy decoration tables. Our parents found us later passed out, leaning into each other and still holding hands.

Little did we know, we were engaged... on a mid-summer's eve.

= = = = = = =

I try not to move much as I mull over her words, she had fallen asleep on my shoulder shortly after finishing the story of me how we met and I donÆt feel like waking her up. æI gotta admit, itÆs pretty damn romantic if a little sappyÆ.

Although part of me is afraid that her story feels more real than any of the memories of my Promise Girl ever did. The look in her eyes as she recalled certain memories and her detailed knowledge about the Inn and Annex was honest and undeniable.

I sigh as Natsuko snuggles into my arm. IÆm sorely tempted to run my fingers through her beautiful long red hair. Call me weird, but IÆve always wanted to do this with a girl.

I mean, how many times have I wished to have chance to be this close to a girl, without being called a pervert and get launched half way to the tea house? æNo chance in hell with Naru or Motokoà maybe Mutsumi, even Mitsune, but that would be a playing with fire in either case.Æ

And now that I DO have a very pretty girl, literally, on my arm, I feel like IÆd be taking advantage of her; even if she does say she is my wife.

Which brings me back to my current conundrum: I canÆt help but trust in HimeÆs words. IÆve been told IÆm a little too trusting, but itÆs been a long while since believe in someone without hesitation, like I do now with her.

Maybe IÆm just paranoid, expecting the Anti Pervert Police to come in and exert their brand of righteous female justice at the slightest perceived infraction. æNaaah!Æ

I just hope that when Kanako and Haruka come in later today, they can help me sort out all this jumbled mess. Not that I wouldnÆt mind having a pretty wife like Natsuko-san, but I feel like IÆm cheating by waking up and finding out IÆve been married for a while.

- - - - - - -

I wake up in a hospital bed again, looking around to get my bearings straight. The room is bright with sunlight and I notice a familiar looking young woman at the door of my hospital room with her back to me about to walk out.

For some strange reason I panic. I get this feeling that IÆm going to regret if I let her leave. ôWà Wait! DonÆt go!ö I hastily sit up, reach out to her and scrounging up whatever courage I have left, call out to her ôI LOVE YOU!ö

She stops in her tracks at the door ôyou REALLY know how to make a girlÆs mornings start out right, Keiö she answers back as she turns around to share a loving if playful smile at me. ôIÆm just stepping out to freshen up a little, IÆll be right back sleepy head.ö

Her red hair waves as she walks out. Red instead of auburn, and here eyes were blue instead of brown.

ôSheÆs not Narusegawaà and last night wasnÆt a dream.ö I mumble to myself quietly.
 

chronodekar

Obsessively signs his posts
Staff member
#8
I haven't read the latest chapter YET, but Eagle, can you please confirm one thing for me?

That the ending won't be something stupid, like Keitaro waking up somewhere and realizing that this was all one big dream?

Please say that it won't be so. I'll be able to read the fic a lot easier that way.

worried,
chronodekar
 

EagleCeres

Well-Known Member
#9
Thanks for the concern.

But no, I'm not good (or evil) enough to pull off a "it was all just a dream" ending, I've read a few, and I recognize how hard it is to pull them off (particularly with Akamatsu's Modus Operandi in his stories and how the characters are developed).

Keitaro deserves a bit of happiness after all the shenanigans he's been submitted through; but it's not going to be served to him on a silver platter by a hawt meido, he's gonna hafta earn his happy ending.

Although I haven't fully sketched out the ending, and the story is barely starting, so there is a lot to address, play with and eventually resolve. There are some ideas I have on the backburner, some I might use, others I'm not so sure; but they may become viable options.

I'll continue to thank you all in advance for the comments, concerns and critiques.
As mentioned in the disclaimer I'm trying to make this more a more tolerable/enjoyable read.
 

MTing

Well-Known Member
#10
Generally, OC's in Love Hina are done pretty poorly. You, however, have done something that very few writers have pulled off. You've made an OC that is more interesting than some of the cast.

You've given her a personality within the first snippet and you've fleshed out Natusko's backstory without it devolving into an info dump in the second. What's great about this is that you've created a character that contrasts greatly with the canon characters. Natsuko's pushy, but not overwhelming. She's mischievous but not malicious. She's loving and caring without having a crazy character flaw. (Naru's indecisiveness, Mutsumi's fainting spells, Motoko's overreactions)

However, having the hospital scene as the first thing the reader reads means that you will have to fight against the precedent set by other fics. You also will need to manage the other characters of Love Hina, making sure that they stay in character and are believable.

This is a great read, and I will be looking forward to any new updates.
 

ThreadWeaver

Beware of Dog. Cat not trustworthy either.
#11
Being as this seems to be a universe-swap Keitaro, or at least he dreamed his entire prior life while unconscious from the injury, the characters in this world could be anything. It might be too different of a story for some, with too different of characters to be "canon", but it's possible if done carefully. Personally I'd think it'd be interesting to see the canon characters have to deal with the likes of Natsuko.
 

chronodekar

Obsessively signs his posts
Staff member
#12
EagleCeres said:
But no, I'm not good (or evil) enough to pull off a "it was all just a dream" ending
THIS is a HUGE relief for me. B) Thank you for confirming EagleCeres! :)

Now, to finish up a chapter on another fanfic and move this thread up my "to-read" list. Will comment on story later. ;)

-chronodekar
 
Top