Xander the Ork

[Rift120]

Just a odd thought about what if Ethan during the halloween episode sold Xander a proper Orky costume... (assuming Fannon addition to the spell that none of the costumes wearers would permantly kill or maim other costume wearers or humans.. *beating them to a pulp is fine tho* )

cut to Halloween... where Ork!Xander is frustrated because something is keeping him form Krumping the HUmies around here... although beating up that pirate was fun... Only fo rhim to stumble into Willies... full of Demons.. who mock him...

Well they ain't human and they made fun of him.. so whats A ork to do but.. WAAAARRRGGGHH!!!


Cut to the spell being broken.. Xander coming to in the middle of Willies, surronded by Demons either dead or groaning in traction (Cause Orks are da toughest gits around!).... And Xande risa bit mor ebulky... and tlaking ina cockney accent...

other potential scenes I can picture....

-Xander starting to hang out at his UNcle Rory's junkyard... and building stuff..

-Xander overhearing Giles complaining about his car breaking down.. so he steals it... paints it red and 'improves it'.... Giles not quite realizing what this means until he puts his foot on the gas once recovering his car...

-Willow: Xander.... who are Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman and why are you applying for a INternship with them after gradutaion?

Of course Orks getting bigger and tougher the mroe they fight.. so the mroe demons and Vampires xander fights the mroe orkier a umie he becomes... perhaps a couple weeks as a football star.. until he's banned for 'Unneccessary roughness' *Read he started a brawl with teh SUnnydale school rivals... and WON all by himself...*

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The Judge

"It sasy he couldn't be killed by any weapon forged by man"

"Bah! Theyze Jus' not have enuf Dakka! I'ze fix it and show de Judge what true DAKKA is!"

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Thoughts.. or better yet takers to write up the above or otehr scenes the idea migth produce!

 

[Mercsenary]

Uh....


:huh:

 

[xanos]

Uh....


:huh:

This....sounds like it would be a awsome crackfic. DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!!!

 

[sai]

NEEDS MO' DAKKA!
This cracktastic idea :yay:

 

[AnimeRonin]

Rule One: There is always room for more dakka.

Rule Two: Any who say there is no more dakka to be had only seek to limit the dakka. Show them what true dakka is.

Rule Three: If more dakka is not possible, make it more choppy.

 

[xanos]

RED MAKE IT GO FASTA!!!

 

[xanos]

Please be nice. The idea was so good i just had to write something up while i was still motivated. Keep in mind this was done in about 5 minutes.

Xander was looking around the costume shop. He had almost no money, the BDUs he was going to wear had fallen appart in the wash and some kid just took the last toy rifle. This sucked. But he would prevail! He was the 5 Dollar costume king after all!!

After sighing and moving on from the more expensive costumes, shaking his head at the way Buffy and Willow where gushing over the noblewoman outfit, didnt they listen to Deadboy when he said he hated those kind of women?

He turn around and is about to walk out the store when he suddenly face to face with a creepy brit. So he do the most manly thing he could do. He shreek like a girl!

"Dont to that man!" he say as he try and catch his breath.

Ethan smiles and respond "Sorry. Its a bad habit. I own this store...i noticed you didnt purchase anything. Is something a miss?"

"Only my lack of cash and luck" He get in responce

"Well...why dont you try the bargin bin. And...because i close soon, bring me 5 items and you will get them for as much cash as you got on you right now"

Xander couldnt beleave his luck as he left the store...he got a spray can on green bodypaint, some big vampire fangs, a plastic axe, a damaged knight helmet and a can of red paint...this he could work with!


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"WWWWAAAAAGGGHHHH!!! We da stompin tha humies and da squishy things!!" Mekboy Gut-Smasha roared out as he smashed his axe into another vampire, splitting it in half. A polgaran demon tried to jump him from behind but he just turned around and hit it with his fist "Tha green thing need tha smashing!!!" before lifting it up and slamming it into the floor of Willies Bar as hard as he can.
Ten minutes later there wasnt a single demon or vampire standing and willy have flead into the night as soon as he saw the green ork enter.
A wooosh of chaos magic later xander look around the bar and blinks "wha tha hell happened here!!" and tries to figure out why he suddenly are green!
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"The Judge cant be killed by weapons forged by man" Giles said and eyes xander where he is doing....something...with those peices and metal and a welding torch. "Me not tha humi! An tha humies didnt hav enogh' DAKKA!!!"

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The super vampires where swarming around the newly activated slayers, "We cant hold them! They are to many!!" Buffy yelled as she saw two of them beeing over run by the endless swarm "We need to pull back!"
Suddenly there is a roar behind her and the side of the cane is blasted inwards a red painted and bolter equipped Killa Kan used its sawblade to rip 5 vampires appart in a single sweep before turning towards the main swarm "DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!!!" is heard from inside it as xander open up with every single of the 15 heavy bolters he have strapped to it with steel wire and ducktape.